Chapter Text
I jerk awake and sit up. I look around in the dormitory, but everyone else is still asleep. I don’t find the reason why I am awake. It must be in the middle of the night. It’s the third night I spend in Dauntless, in a room with nine other initiates. It doesn’t really bother me, only that one of them snores. Not even now I can have some quiet time. Great. I lie back down and pull the sheets up to my nose and roll over on my side, hoping that I fall asleep again. But after what feels like an hour of tossing and turning, it’s clear that it’s no use. A glance on my watch tells me that it’s only a little after half past five. I get up and put on my trousers and a shirt, but I don’t put on my boots until I am in the hallway.
It takes me a while to find the right way to the training room and I had muttered more than a few swearwords whenever I tripped on the uneven, dark corridors. As I hoped, the training room is empty. Although it’s quite dark, I can still see the punching backs hanging from the ceiling. I stand in front of one and try to remember, what Four had taught us the last two days in training. I position my arms and bend my knees. Use your whole body. I breathe in a throw my first punch. I hiss unintentionally and try to ignore the pain as I continue punching the bag. It moves slightly, but not nearly as much as Mia’s yesterday. I huff and feel anger building in me. It was Mia, who had left the bruise on my side, Mia, who can’t stop bragging about how much she had read and learned about different fighting techniques back in Erudite. Mia, who on top of all, actually is a good fighter. What kind of name is Mia anyway? Definitely not a Dauntless name.
Get it together, Cas, I tell myself. The next time I throw a punch, the bag swings a bit more from the impact. I grin. The next time I’ll fight Mia, she’ll be the one who is out cold. I continue throwing the punches, ignoring the constant pain on my side and my chest. When I start feeling exhausted, I stop and bend forward to catch my breath. It’s almost six now. I hadn’t noticed how long I punched that stupid bag and only now see that my knuckles are red and split open. Hopefully, the other initiate will think it’s still from yesterday’s training. If I return now, I think, I still have time to take a shower before everyone else gets up and notices that I have been up and gone. After all, it’s none of their business how I plan to pass initiation.
I am half way through the training room, when I notice someone standing at the closed door. I didn’t hear anyone enter the room and I am surprised to see that it’s one of the Dauntless leaders, the same, that made a snarky comment when I was one of the last two initiates who had yet to jump down the roof. I can’t stand him. He has that kind of attitude.
“You shouldn’t be here, initiate.”
“But I still am. May I?” I snap and gesture to the door, that he blocks. I am annoyed. But Eric doesn’t move. Instead, he frowns. “What? I’d like to take a shower before breakfast.”
“You’re improving.” He says after staring at me for what feels like … ten minutes. I stand opposite of him with crossed arms and hold his gaze.
“Well, that was the point of coming here.”
“Never short a comeback.” Eric smirks and steps back from the door. “Just be careful, initiate.”
“Don’t waste your time worrying about me, instructor.” I say when I walk away. Eric doesn’t reply and I don’t care. He wants to intimidate me? Then he certainly doesn’t know me.
When I arrive at the dormitory, everyone is still sleeping and I take a shower. The warm water feels good on my sore muscles and I start to relax and forget about my encounter with Eric. My bruise from the fight the day before had turned into a dark shade of purple and hurts when I put too much pressure on it. My knuckles burn when the soap touches the open cuts and I wince. Get over it. You’re Dauntless now!
I leave the bathroom a few minutes later, with my hair still wet. I see that the other initiates are slowly getting up as well and I see Mia staring at me.
“You were up early, Cassandra.”
“You are so smart, Mia, I envy you.” I pretend to gasp in surprise and ignore my anger about her calling me by my full name.
“What were you doing?”
“Let me think. Oh, I have wet hair. Guess I must have taken a shower.” I hear a guy trying to cover up his laugh with a coughing fit and can’t suppress a grin. I grab my jacket and turn my back to Mia. On my way out of the room a Candor boy grins at me and lifts his arm and high-fives me. I don’t even remember his name, but I grin back at him and make my way to the cafeteria with a slightly improved mood. I get some food (and large piece of chocolate cake) and find a still empty table.
I know that I haven’t exactly tried to find any friends within the initiates. If anything I threw them off with my honest opinions and sarcastic comments. Not even the other Candor transfers have shown much interest in my person. Not until this morning, I guess. But to be honest, I don’t even remember them from school. As much as I care at the moment, I just want to make it through initiation and then find some people who actually have some sense in their brains.
I look up when I notice that someone sits down at the other end of the table. It’s Four and some girl. She doesn’t look a lot older than I am and is rather small, compared to my 5’9 ft. They are talking and it’s clear that they are more than close friends when the girl kisses Four on the cheek and he laughs. Ugh, lovebirds.
I don’t want to look at it and try to ignore their chatter as I start eating my cake. The room fills and I watch as the Candor from earlier and his friend Alec, also a Candor, get food and make their way to my table.
“Hey Cas! Mind if we join you?”
“I am not gonna stop you.” I say and continue eating.
“That’s so generous of you.” The boy without a name sits down next to me. Alec takes the seat across from me.
“Oh, I know. Hope you appreciate it.”
Alec laughs. “We sure do. Jay and I also appreciate you snapping at Mia.” So Candor guy had a name. I think I remember a James transferring to Dauntless at the Choosing Ceremony. Must be him then.
“That was awesome! Her face was priceless!”
I grin, too, now. “I was just giving the nose the answers she had sought.”
“I don’t even understand what her problem is with everyone.” Alec says.
“Everyone but Charles. Have you seen them snogging during dinner last night?”
“Seriously?” I ask surprised. I haven’t noticed anything like that, but then again, I haven’t really paid much attention to the other initiates and what they were doing when they were not fighting each other in training.
“Were you blind? They even got some looks from the Dauntless members.”
“No, I was out cold and still in the infirmary, thanks to Mia.” I state grimly.
“They are basically glued by the hip.”
“And some other places…”
“You mean like you two?” I grin at them. As a response Jay blows a kiss towards Alec, who giggles sheepishly.
“Exactly.” They say in unision.
“Charming.” I laugh and start eating my cake.
We are gathered in the training room. Four stands in front of us and waits for us to be silent. I notice a board standing behind him, covered with a piece of fabric.
“What do you think is on that board?” I hear Jay ask Alec quietly, but before he can answer, Four starts talking.
“You all have been here for three days now. You used a gun and you had your first fights. Some of you were more successful than others.” By that his look lingers on me a bit longer than on the others. I hope I am only imagining it. “You will continue your physical training for another two weeks before the first initiates will be leaving us. To give you some motivation we decided to give you an update about how you are doing.” Four pulls the fabric from the board and we can see that the rankings are listed on it. My heart beats faster as I try to find my name on the board.
- Charles
- Jane
- Mia
- Nate
- Jay
- Cedric
- Alec
- Cas
- Dale
- Kendall
I sigh relieved. I am not last. But as I expected I am not one of the best, not after I lost the fight against Mia yesterday. What I didn’t expect was Mia to be only third in ranking. When I glance over to her, I see that I am not the only one who is surprised by that. She is beaten by her boyfriend and a Candor girl.
“Now, remember, initiates. You are not only ranked for your fights, but your overall performance and improvement. If you are fighting you get points for winning a fight against someone with a higher ranking than your own. You won’t gain points for beating an initiate with a lower ranking. If you lose a fight to someone with a lower ranking you will also lose points.
“This board will be updated daily. It won’t show who will get cut after stage one, since the rankings from the Dauntless born initiates aren’t taken into account yet.” He pauses and the mumbling between the initiates starts. I try to shut them out as I try to think about how I can improve my rank. I might still make it with my current rank, if one of the Dauntless-borns ranks lower than I do. But I know how the chances for that are. Low, to keep it brief.
“Each stage will be counted differently, stage two and three will affect your final score more than stage one. Three of the initiates will be leaving after stage one, the same amount will get cut after the final stage.”
“So fourteen initiates will become members? Wasn’t it ten last year?” Charles asks.
“Do I hear complaints from you? Maybe you want to leave already, initiate.” Four glares at him. “Be careful when you open your mouth. Understood?”
Charles fails to hold eye contact and looks down when he whispers an answer. “Yes.”
Four takes a moment to look at us before he speaks again. “You will continue fighting with each other this afternoon. You’ll learn some new techniques after lunch and I expect you to use them in the fights. And now, everyone grab a gun. From what I saw up to now, your aim is in need of improvement.”
He was right. Most of us barely hit the outer circle of the target. Not even Mia. I think my biggest achievement was that I managed to scratch the target. I know that I definitely don’t want to get on his bad side and hurry to be the first one to grab a gun. We follow Four to the targets and stand in one line, a couple feet away from the targets.
“Go! The gun doesn’t start shooting by itself.”
I position myself and try to remember what Four had taught us. I lift the gun with both my hands and aim. I shake slightly and shift my feet, trying to find the best posture. I take a deep breath and fire.
“You missed.” A familiar voice says into my ear. I didn’t even notice that Eric had stepped behind me or even entered the room. He must have joined us when Four held his little speech.
“I hadn’t noticed. Thank you for telling me.” Before he can say anything else, I fire two times. This time, at least one of the bullets hits the target, barely, but it’s something. Suddenly I feel Eric hands on my shoulders as he pushes them down and in the right position.
“You’re tense. Relax. Your legs are too far apart. Stand straight.” He presses his had between my shoulder blades and pushes me in straighter position. “Focus on the target, don’t waste too much time aiming. Breathe out when you fire.” I follow his instructions and fire. I miss the target.
Eric snorts. “Now, stop shaking. You’re holding a gun.” And with that he leaves me and checks on the other initiates.
“What was that about?” Jay asks next to me. I just sigh and shake my head. I don’t know either, especially after I snapped at him this morning. I watch him as he steps next to Kendall and watches her miss the target several times.
“That’s pathetic, initiate.” I can hear him snarl. But instead of helping her like he did with me, he just stands there. Even from where I stand I can see how intimidated Kendall is. When she fires again (and misses), Eric leaves her. He catches me watching him.
“Did I tell you to stop shooting?” I stare at him, before I return to my position, shoot, and hit the middle circle of the target. Then I hit the inner circle. I notice that I stopped shaking and glance over to Eric, who seems to be slightly impressed as he nods in my direction. I am indeed improving. I shoot again, and miss the target. Or not, I think to myself and sigh. At least Eric seems to not have seen that, as he is talking to Four and apparently has lost interest in me. I reload my gun and keep practicing.
My shoulders and my arms hurt when I grab a tray with lunch and sit down with Jay and Alec.
“Are you going to explain, why you of all initiates got the most attention from Eric?”
“If by attention, you mean picking on me, Alec, I can honestly say I have no idea.”
“By attention I mean you being the only one he had actually given some helpful tips, Cas.” Alec looks at me expectantly.
“I was one of the few who still barely ever hits the target, Alec. I won’t be the one complaining about getting tips.”
“No, but have you actually seen how he stares at you?” Jay asks and I groan. I don’t even care about what Eric wants from me. If he wants help me, fine. Getting tips from a leader can’t really be a bad thing, not if I actually want a job that is something different than guarding the fence.
“And how exactly would that be, huh?” And for the rest of our lunch break, Jay and Alec keep making ridiculous faces and try to convince me, that that was actually how Eric was looking at me. I could have made worse friends, I think and laugh at the grimace Alec pulls.