Chapter Text
He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t- he couldn’t - his lungs were burning and his head was getting fuzzier by the second and he couldn't breathe .
It was worse than drowning, and he felt as if his neck was a cheap metal vase that someone had angrily stepped on -like it would be dented if he were to run his fingers through it. More than an eternity passed until his golden core kicked in and finally a tiny breath made its way to his aching lungs.
His eyes were dry and stinged until the tears started flowing. Covering his eyes with an arm that felt twice as heavy than it should be, Wei Wuxian let the feeling of the rain wash over him.
It wasn’t until a couple hours later that he came back into himself. He must have lost consciousness at some point.
“Jiang Cheng?” he tried calling. His voice cracked something ulgly and broken and it seemed to echo in the empty clearing.
Empty clearing.
He started running.
His troath still ached and his back burned but it seemed that both had healed enough while he was unconscious that at least he was able to do this much.
He had to get Jiang Cheng back no matter what.
“He should be better with some rest for now” Wen Qing says as she puts down the medicine she had prepared. “You, sit down and strip”.
Wei Wuxian looked at Wen Ning, who just smiled at him. “ Me? ” He gestured to himself.
“Do you see any other injured patients here? Sit down”
Wei Wuxian sits; he takes off the upper part of his uniform with Wen Qing help and hears Wen Ning make a pained sound in sympathy. Neither of them says anything while they clean his back and treat his injuries and Wei Ying relaxes a little.
Is obvious that the marks are not from a normal whip, and he honestly doesn’t have the energy to try and explain them right now.
When it's done and he is given a fresh pair of robes to put on until something can be done about his, Wen Qing hands him a little pot with ointment.
“Rub it on your neck every five hours. Bruises are dangerous there, but we want them to appear as soon as possible. It's not going to look pretty” She adds, and he can already imagine the awful dark chain around his throat. “Necks are delicate things, just like spines. You were lucky this time, a little more pressure or less spiritual energy and it would have damaged permanently. As it is, your golden core is working double time right now to heal everything, but your voice is going to be affected for a couple weeks at least.”
Wei Ying knows he was lucky. Being a cultivator means having to deal with a lot of violent deaths, and death by strangling or hanging isn't unusual. If Jiang Cheng had truly lost control in his grief he could have easily torn a muscle or broken something. A little damage to his vocal cords wasn't that important right now- they were hiding, he didn't need his voice. As long as his back healed enough for him to be able to fight and protect Jiang Cheng nothing else mattered. Jiang Cheng found the sound of his voice irritating anyways, and the last thing that Wei Ying wanted right now was to annoy him. It’s better this way.
Wen Qing picked up her things, and without even turning to look at him again instructed “Use the time you have to rest, your golden core needs repleting”.
She was a genius doctor and the expert on golden cores, so he meekly sat down next to his shidi.
An expert on golden cores...
His low and broken voice only unnerved the Wen disciples more while he looked at them in the eyes and didn’t cower at their threats. Not when they shouted, not when they punched or kicked and he didn’t cry out no matter how much it hurt.
He didn’t even scream when they threw him down into hell.
It’s better that his throat got so damaged, so he doesn’t have to hear his own screams along the endless wailing of the dead in the Burial Mounds. Wei Wuxian thinks he would have gone crazy if his pleas and fear were to pass his lips and get lost in the clamour of pain around him.
“ Wei Ying ” Lan Zhan calls, and he can’t answer. No matter how much Lan Wangji asks about where he has been all this time or demands answers about his new style of cultivation, nor how he pleads for Wei Ying to talk to him, Wei Wuxian doesn’t have anything to say to him.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t ask. Wei Ying thinks he already knows why. It’s fine either way, it’s not like they would have talked about it even if he could.
But Lan Wangji has always been so smart. It's one of the things Wei Ying admires the most about him. It doesn't take him long to realize that if he is not talking it's not by his own choice -no matter how much he tries to pretend it is-. And it’s harder, to feign that he’s so full of himself now that no one deserves an answer when all his life he’s had a friendly word for anyone he’s met, always someone to chat about anything; it’s much harder to pretend that he doesn't still forget that he can’t share his thoughts that is to pretend he doesn't miss his sword.
When Lan Wangji comes over a couple weeks later and stiffly tells him about the qin lenguaje that the Lan sect uses to speak with spirits he’s so relieved that he’ll finally be able to communicate with another person through more than facial expression and hand gestures that he has to sit down for a moment. He looks at Lan Zhan standing in front of him, softly illuminated by the lone candle that he bothered to light in his small tent, bracing himself as if waiting for Wei Wuxian to storm out in anger like all the other times he has tried to discuss his new cultivation; thinking he’ll be rejected but still caring enough to come here after a battle to offer a solution to a problem he doesn't understand completely.
Wei Ying nods and Lan Zhan takes out his guqin and sits down in front of him.
They become closer after that night. Wei Wuxian can’t help but find it a little ironic, how he spent so long calling after the other man and being ignored when he wanted his attention and now that he finally stopped, he gets to have it.
Lan Wangji was never a man of many words, so he’s the best to guide him now in his new way of life. Together they try many different methods when they have the time in between battles and meetings- writing that is not practical, talismans that use resentful energy to write out horrid looking words (the less said about the time he tried to borrow the ghosts’ voices the better). Wei Ying learns that he can answer inquiry as if he were a spirit using resentful energy and is ecstatic.
He wonders, sometimes, if maybe Lan Wangji ever misses the sound of his voice during the long nights they spend adapting the qin lenguaje to fit his dizi and coming up with easy hand signals. He wouldn't voice his question out loud even if he could though, he doesn't want to know the answer.
His shijie is the only other person who bothers to learn some of the hand signals and gestures they come up with and even gives them a few new ideas, and on the times she can’t understand him and Lan Zhan is not there to translate she is always patient with him until he can get his point across. Jiang Cheng seems to alternate between exasperation and anger every time he needs more than a smile or a nod to communicate with him, storming away fuming without looking back even if Wei Ying was trying to show him battle plans.
By this point almost everyone knows that something happened to him that made him lose his voice, even though he should have been able to heal it at least somewhat with his level of cultivation, and rumors surge about how he sold his ability to talk to a demon in exchange for forbidden knowledge.
Jiang Cheng will snap at anyone who dares to repeat such rumors where he can hear them, and declare that they should be grateful to not have to listen to him anymore and that he's way better being quiet, no matter that Jiang Yanli asked him more than a couple of times to not say such hurtful things. Wei Wuxian keeps away whenever his temper gets too bad, he has a lot of work to do.
But now that he can’t talk back anymore he’s dragged to some of the war meetings, demonic cultivator or not, and is delighted to learn that Lan Xicheng has an easier time understanding him than even his own sister. Wei Ying uses his newly learned abilities to tease Lan Zhan about how Zewu-Jun’s brother reading powers seems to extend to any non-verbal little brother in the vicinity. He’s very proud of the deadpan expression his first joke receives.
And because Lan Zhan taught him a powerful technique from him sect and even let him modify the knowledge that his ancestors carefully passed down to him -and also because he has been very good about not pressing him to give up demonic cultivation-, Wei Ying lets Lan Zhan play him some healings songs once in a while and even feels a little bit more lighter after it.
Wei Ying is not surprised when Lan Zhan follows him for a meal after they run into each other by chance in Yilling. Meals for the Lans are always quiet, but the little bundle of energy that follows him around these days makes enough conversation for the two of them. Wei Ying is content with just watching his old friend, getting to be close again after so long even if their paths have diverged now. He is surprised when he agrees to stay for dinner, and again when he sees the gift the Wens prepared for him.
After their improvised party, Wei Ying and Lan Zhan sit side by side on the floor of his cave -much closer than he ever dared as a teenager- and with their instruments out Wei Ying tells him about how difficult those first days with the Wens were, when no one could understand him and most still feared him, how he now can play any and all lullabies and how sometimes he won't be able to find his dizi for hours just to end up following its choked sounds to a hollow three and retrieve it covered in saliva.
Wei Wuxian wakes up and groans out loud. He touches his throat.
He had forgotten that he can make a bigger ruckus with his words than with his actions.
He sees Lan Wangji standing there with his guqin like so many times before. He can call out to him, after so long.
“Lan Zhan!”