Chapter Text
This is not her body.
This discordant feeling tore through her, clawing at her spine, shrieking in her ears. It’s the first thought that she can recall. The next is – I thought I died.
She studied herself in the mirror. Vaguely, she recognised that she has been living for a few years now; she can dig up memories of faces, of warm hugs, of cheerful days, but it’s the sight of herself in the mirror that tears the childhood glamour to pieces.
May leaned forward, raising her arm to touch the mirror. The boy in the mirror does the same. It is a boy – he must be about five years old. He’s quite tall and large for his age and wears a pinstripe jinbei set of pants and a shirt. His hair is so closely shaved to his skull that she can only see the barest shade of black.
The boy also raised his arm, and the two of them connect their palms on the mirror. This boy is not May, but it is her body.
“Kaji? Kaji where are you?” someone called, voice floating through the door. May listened as someone shuffles through a nearby doorway and comes up behind her. A woman with plain black hair and a light yukata with its sleeves tied back stepped into the mirror’s frame, a gentle smile on her face. She wound her arms around the boy’s body, and she can feel the arms around her own waist as well. “Kaji, how did you get in here? Lunch is on the table!”
The lady eventually saw how the boy is spellbound by the mirror. “Ah, yes, this is you! Isn’t Kaji the cutest boy ever?”
I’m not Kaji!
“Well, let’s return to the dining room, yeah?” The lady – mum, she remembered – smiled and pressed a light kiss to the top of Kaji’s head. May felt it on the top of her own head.
May ate the food without thinking, not really tasting it. She knew that she died, and she also knew that she had been alive for a few years now. She has memories of celebrating her fifth birthday; it had not been too long ago. All at once, she is an adult and she is a child.
May is –
May is Kaji now. May is a boy.
Right. He has to remember that now.
“Kaji?” his mum called, seeing how his baby chopsticks are resting on the table. “Are you done? What do you want to do now?”
Well, I’m not going back to the mirror, thanks.
“Can I go to the forge?” Kaji asked.
Kaji’s new family is expansive, in both current members and in history. The Enatsu have been cultivating their silver and goldsmithing skills, keeping their forge hot and their products eye-catching for generations. They’ve been commissioned by all sorts of wealthy families and once, even by a member of the daimyo’s court.
Kaji has been fascinated by the work his dad did every day since he was first brought into the forge. His dad was delighted that Kaji was so fascinated by the fire he was named after, and Kaji often watched from the sidelines, watching.
His mum was worried that Kaji would get hurt, but even in the daze he had been in, he recognised that the white-hot fire was something not to be trifled in. He stayed back, far from the angry flame, far from the hissing water, far from the heavy tools.
Today, Kaji was far more interested than normal. His mind was clear, his thoughts more complex and he was ready to learn.
He watched as his dad went through the entire steps of creating jewellery: first, the design was finalised on a piece of parchment. Next was a series of moulds, each with their own purpose: the master mould, the first one to be made and made to perfection. From there the smith would create more moulds, with the final purpose of one strong enough to handle molten gold and silver.
Kaji loved to watch his father tend to the metal in the forge, melting it and then carefully pouring it into the moulds. Kaji loved to watch his father crack open a waxy egg to reveal the unpolished product and inspect it for faults and cracks, like a pirate inspecting their newly discovered treasure.
Assembly was where his brothers lost interest, but Kaji loved how his father took time and care to buff each piece of the jewellery, spreading his care and love across it all, then carefully lining them all up. Coxing each gem into its’ resting place then bending the prongs to set the stones in place. Adding the accent stones and making sure they’re secure and solid.
Finally, one last buff to complete it. Kaji was enchanted.
Today, Kaji’s dad looked up from his buffing with a smile. “You’re rather interested today!” his voice rolled throughout the forge, despite the low roar of the fire. “What caught your attention, Kaji?”
“I, ah,” he stuttered, not used to the name yet. It still took an effort to respond to the name.
His dad puffed up his chest. “Perhaps it is the Fire of the Enatsu Forge swelling through you! Our family has a long and proud history with this flame, and it is showing in you!”
Kaji smiled at the familiar speech. His dad was always going on about the Enatsu spirit.
“We are Enatsu men, you see!” his dad puts down the pieces of metalwork and stands, beckoning Kaji over to the fire. When he joined his dad, they stood close but still a good distance from the slumbering flame. He felt his dad lay a large hand on his back, feeling warm in a way that wasn’t just about temperature. “Our spirit is forged in these fires. We are unbreakable, we are untouchable and we are unshakeable. Enatsu men never back down, and we cannot be broken! We strive forward and take what we want! For we have our fire in our souls and our metal in our bones.”
Laughter bubbled up in Kaji’s chest at his dad’s speech. It sounded (and was) cheesy, but Kaji couldn’t help but smile at his dad’s wide grin. Kaji raised his fist to his dad’s. “Enatsu spirit!” he agreed.
His dad’s eyes softened, and the hand on his back shifted to squeeze his shoulder. “Be proud, Kaji.”
Kaji nodded, smiling down at the flame. He felt at home here, despite realising he had decades of memories. This flame felt like it was Kaji’s.
“Dad?” he hesitantly said, “Can I… give you a hand around the forge?”
“I thought you’d never ask! You’ll have to start with the small stuff since you’re so young, but before you know it, you’ll be casting the metal alongside me and the other boys!”
Enatsu men are named after the fire that keeps the family going. Homura is the eldest at 12; he has learnt quite a lot of the trade and is a few years off beginning his apprenticeship years. Kazuya is next at 9 and doesn’t show the drive Homura and Kaji show for the trade. He’s more content reading books.
Kaji is the next child.
After him is the first daughter, and Akua is only three years old. Kaji’s mum is pregnant again, and he can’t wait for the new sibling.
Kaji loves his siblings. Playing with them is simultaneously babysitting and causing mischief; some days he can feel the gap between their mental ages and sometimes he’s the one egging Kazuya to climb the fence so they could peak into the neighbour’s yard.
His mum is constantly around, cooking up something delicious in the kitchen. She adores Kaji for offering to help with the chores but she always sends him back to the others with a smile. Go play Kaji, she would say, mum is fine here!
His dad stays in the forge nearly every day, all day. He comes home talking about the jewellery he created with his own hands and the customers that come into the showroom.
The months pass. Kaji familiarises himself with his new body and a new name. He grows. He helps in the forge, from buffing to carting around materials and equipment. He helps keep the forge hot. It’s fun.
He’s excited for his new life.