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Hinata knew what she got herself into.
The moment she agreed, she knew she was diving head first into a loveless marriage.
A marriage to seal and solidify a partnership between two huge companies. The Hyugas and the Uzumakis.
Her cousin warned her. That what she was about to enter wasn't like the fairytale she had always dreamed of. That a marriage devoid of love was similar to hell. Endless loop of hell. She knew Neji was speaking based on experience. She knew he had to leave Tenten in order to marry a girl he barely knows. That was just how the way their world works.
But Hinata being Hinata, she didn't pay any mind to her cousin's words. Or at least she tries not to. She knew Neji was only concerned for her well-being. He always does.
But this marriage was something Hinata had wanted ever since she was young.
Her marrying him.
Her marrying Naruto Uzumaki.
She was lucky because she didn't have to marry a stranger like her cousin. She knew Naruto since she was a kid. And he knew her too. Well, both their parents knew each other so that was expected. But Hinata did not only know of his name. She knew everything about him.
She knew that he wasn't that good at school.
She knew he was known for pulling pranks against his classmates.
She knew his obsession with ramen.
And she knew that all he ever dreamed of was to lead his family's company.
She also knew stories of his tenacity and perseverance. Of his compassion to the poor and softheartedness for the young. It never fails to amaze Hinata. How a man like him could do so much even at his young age. How he could selflessly give his all without expecting anything in return.
And because she knew, she also fell in love.
Hinata vividly remembers that day.
The day she confessed.
The day she told him of her feelings.
It left a bittersweet taste on Hinata's throat.
Because aside from her declaration of love, it was also the day he also told her that all they could ever be was stay as friends.
But it was futile to think of that now, she thought.
She was going to marry him tomorrow.
And she knew it would become the happiest day of her life.
She was wrong.
It wasn't the happiest day of her life.
In fact, it felt like how her days had always passed.
Melancholic and somber.
And now, she was lying on the bed beside Naruto. Her husband.
Exhausted after their one-sided lovemaking.
He was her first.
But she could only stifle a tear not because of joy but because she remembered his words when he thrusted deeply into her womanhood.
"You're tight even though it's not your first time."
She knew he was drunk when he said those.
He needed to be drunk or else he wouldn't spare her a glance.
He probably forgot about those words now but it still hurt her in ways she couldn't describe.
He changed. He's like a different person. So different from the person she fell in love with. Hinata couldn't believe that in the three years that she hadn't seen him, Naruto would turn like this. She didn't know that he, the epitome of positivity, could say such vulgar things to her. She didn't know that he detested her that badly.
Hinata tried to stand up, wincing as she could feel the soreness all over her body. She hoped he would be at least gentle last night, but her wishful thinking could only do so much. She slowly took the sheets covered with her broken innocence, hoping not to wake him up in the process. And as soon as she succeeded, Hinata quickly dumped it into the laundry. Away from Naruto's sight.
She then walked towards the coffee table, opened her phone, and saw Neji's messages.
[Lee told me about Naruto's relationship with Kurotsuchi.]
[I'm concerned about you.]
[Tell me if something bad happens, okay? I'm scared that he would take his anger out on you.]
[I love you, Hinata. Please be safe.]
She wanted to cry.
She knew from the start that Naruto's heart was owned by someone else.
She knew but she didn't care.
And now she was here.
Living in a hell Neji had told her about.
But what's the use of lamenting about it now?
She was now his wife. And he was her husband.
Even though it was just on paper, she will do her best to reach the expectations set for her as Naruto's wife.
It's been a month since their wedding.
And Hinata could almost smile as she looked at Naruto eating her homemade dishes.
Almost.
"Mom and Dad agreed about us divorcing after a year. So…"
She did not need to listen anymore.
Those words were enough to remind her again that she signed up for a marriage strictly for business.
Love wasn't possible for them. For him.
Even if she gave him her body and soul, he wouldn't love her back.
His heart still belonged to someone else.
"Hinata."
She tried her best to look him straight in the eye despite the growing urge to just run away far from him.
"You can do whatever you want. You can see other men. I don't care. You mind your own business, I'll mind mine."
"I understand."
But did she though?
Did she truly understand the depth of the mess her heart was in right now? Of course she didn't. Because if she did understand, she would've left him right there and then. She would've saved her heart from suffering and pain.
But she was the biggest idiot she ever met.
Instead of sparing her own sanity, she would rather revel in his company.
Even if it's just a year's worth, she would.
And just as she promised to savor their limited time as husband and wife, Naruto came home less and less. And when he did come home, it was only because he needed a place to sleep.
Hinata could only pull her hair out in her frustration.
She couldn't take this kind of treatment anymore. Sure, they had an agreement but at the very least, she needed to know where he was staying every night he wasn't with her. Though she has a rough idea as to where, Hinata wants him to confirm it himself.
"Why the hell do you care?! Wasn't tying me up with you not enough?! Just mind your own fucking business, Hinata!"
It was the first time she heard him raise his voice.
It was also the first time she saw him get this mad.
And she knew it wouldn't be the last.
Because she took him away from a life with Kurotsuchi. She took away his freedom. She took away his happiness.
"I'm sorry…" Is all she could say.
It was her fault for overstepping boundaries anyway. For forgetting that she was just his wife, not the woman he loves. For pestering him and for not minding her own business. She should've done what a wife like her should've done — always following her husband's words.
When Naruto left, much to her relief, her phone then vibrated.
A message from Sakura, one of Naruto's bestfriends.
[Hinata! We're hanging out tonight. If you want to come, you can find us at Kono Bar! xoxo!]
Tears trickled on the screen of her phone.
She was glad Naruto's friends liked her. They liked her just enough for them to include and invite her in their plans.
But even if she wants to, she can't.
Her legs were too weak to even stand.
Their fight took all of her strength.
And all she could was weep in silence.
Two months after their fight, everything went back to normal.
She wants to think that was the case.
Even if normal meant him ignoring her and him going home late, Hinata would choose that any day rather than him screaming at her face.
"Hinata! Hurry up!"
Hinata didn't want to leave the house at night. Especially when she's wearing a very skimpy outfit that barely covered her chest and thighs.
"Maybe I should change after all, Hanabi…"
"I'm telling you! You look freaking good my dear sister! Every guy would faint as soon as you step into the club!"
"That's all the more reason why I shouldn't wear this! I'm a married woman, you know?"
Her younger sister didn't falter with her words and continued to grab her hand towards the car.
"Married people can still go to clubs, Ma'am. Besides, your husband doesn't mind, right?"
Hinata smiled bitterly.
He surely doesn't mind, she thought to herself.
It was a ten minute drive from their home to the club. And during those ten minutes, all she could do was pull her black dress down to hide her thighs or pull it up to cover her cleavage.
But her true dilemma was just starting. And it began the moment her ears were obliterated by the blasting music and screams of the people who were dancing skin to skin like there's no tomorrow.
This was one of the reasons why she hated going out. Interacting with people always made her uncomfortable. It was taxing to say the least. And to add more to her anxiety, her dress caught the eyes and attention of most guys around them. Hinata hated it. She just wants to go home. If only Hanabi wasn't holding her hand tightly as they pushed their way towards the bar, she would have definitely run back to the exit.
"Hello pretty angels! What can I get you?"
"Two Manhattans please!"
"Just water for me, thank you."
Hinata immediately looked away from Hanabi and the bartender who seemed shocked with her choice of drink.
Well, what else could she do? Getting drunk was the last thing on her list tonight. The first was to leave the hell hole they were in.
She immediately downed the cold water as soon as it touched the counter in hopes of calming her thundering heartbeat. But it was no use. The heat of the people around her made her completely restless.
After a few minutes of staring at the floor which felt like eternity for Hinata, Hanabi excused herself to go to the restroom. She insisted on going with her younger sister but Hanabi promised to come back quickly.
As soon as Hanabi's figure was drowned by the sea of crowds, Hinata battled a mini panic attack at the bar counter. The loud music mimicked her heart beating and she felt like she couldn't breathe.
She wanted to run away but all she could see was bodies over bodies. There was no escape.
Hinata could feel her vision tunneling. Her breathing ragged. Sweat lumping on the back of her neck.
She looked around again and there was still no sign of Hanabi. It was still probably a minute after her sister left but Hinata swears it felt like an hour.
"Are you okay? You look kinda scared."
Every hair on her body stood on end when she felt a hand snaking her waist. Touching her lewdly. His mouth was near her neck and Hinata felt her insides scrunching at the breathy whisper on her ear.
She tried to wiggle her way out from the man's grasp but he was strong. And she still had trouble breathing. Her hands were shaking while pulling her dress down. Where the hell is Hanabi?!
"I'm okay, Sir. Please leave me alone."
She mustered all of her strength to tell the man off. And she did. But the man stuck to her like a leech.
"I can't possibly leave a pretty girl like you alone. Not when you look fucking sexy like that… You gave me a goddamn boner, you know? I think you should take responsibility…"
Hinata's eyes widened at the man's words. But it even grew wider when he took her hand and guided it towards his crotch. She resisted his pulling, hoping that Hanabi would arrive. Or hoping that someone was seeing everything that was happening to her and maybe help her. But she knew that the latter thought was impossible. Everyone was too immersed in the music. They can't hear her silent cries.
"I'm m-married.. Please let me go."
"Married?! That's even better! Are you here because your man isn't making you happy in bed? I can help you with that, gorgeous. Come on."
At this moment, Hinata was nearing shutdown. She could feel the pain in her lungs and her consciousness slowly slipping away. But if she's going to collapse now, the man will certainly take advantage of it and take her into an even more unpleasant situation.
"I don't w-want to. Please let me go…"
Hanabi was still not in sight. All Hinata could see was the white-haired man who was looking at her like she was some candy. His face was getting closer to hers and the hand that was on her waist a second ago was now on her nape holding her still, meeting the man's kiss.
She resisted and resisted but the man seemed turned on even more at her resistance. It made her sick. Really sick.
She attempted to push the man away with every bit of her strength but he still overpowered her.
"Let loose, baby… I'm going to make you happy tonight."
Hinata closed her eyes and placed her hands in front of her chest as a last attempt to guard herself.
The erratic sound of her heartbeat was now the only sound she could hear. Knees wobbling and fear rising from the pit of her stomach to her chest.
Help wasn't coming.
But in a matter of seconds, she felt the man release his grip on her. She opened her eyes and saw him sprawled onto the floor, nose bloodied.
The next second, she was outside. With the familiar blonde man holding her hand, leading her to the parking lot. She still couldn't hear anything. But she saw what just transpired very clearly.
Naruto was there. Her husband saw what happened.
As soon as they reached where his car was parked, he pushed her gently inside the front passenger seat and fastened the seat belt around her still shaking body.
Naruto sped away. Fast, not having a care in the world.
Hinata doesn't know what to say or react. Everything just happened so quickly. Should she apologize? For leaving the house? Should she explain that Hanabi forced her to come? Oh my God! Hanabi! She totally forgot about her sister.
"I already messaged Hanabi. Don't worry."
She felt relief wash over her system as soon Naruto said those words. But she knew she wasn't out of the woods yet. Not in the slightest.
Hinata noted the dark glint on Naruto's eyes. He was angry. And she knew then and there that she needed to prepare herself as soon as they would reach their home.
Naruto was one who never easily got angry. But when all of his buttons are pushed, you could only wish you never met the man.
He was ruthless when he gets mad. Especially when he gets mad for all the right reasons.
Seeing Hinata taken advantage like that boiled every blood in Naruto's system. He hated men who forced themselves on women. Pushy people in general.
The blonde saw everything that happened ever since Hinata came into the club. He saw how all the men around her turned into vicious wolves in heat. He saw the lust in their eyes as Hinata sat on the stool and drank the glass of water. He saw the panic in her eyes when Hanabi left. And he saw the horror in her face when the stupid white-haired asshole attempted to kiss her with his filthy mouth.
Making the bastard's nose bleed wasn't enough. Naruto knows that. But having Hinata see him beat the life out of that man was also not worth it. So he chose the best option and just took his wife home.
And now they stood three meters away from each other inside their hollow bedroom. Silence hovering them like a massive dark cloud right before a typhoon.
The blue-eyed wasn't sure of what to say really. He was mad. Really mad. But he wasn't mad at Hinata. That's not it. He was mad at the situation. That was what the anger bubbling within him was all about.
But right as he was about to speak and warn the woman about instances like that in the future, Hinata cried and beat him to it.
"Naruto! I-I'm sorry… I'm really sorry! I didn't mean for all of this to happen. I… I shouldn't have come to that club. I'm really sorry!"
Naruto studies her. He noted the distress on Hinata's eyes and the quivering of her voice.
He wasn't sure if she was still scared of the scuffle a while ago, or if she was scared of his presence now.
"That asshole should be the one apologizing to you. Not you to me. You didn't do anything wrong."
Shock was immediately drawn on her face. As if she heard something unusual or unbelievable or maybe both. And it almost offended the blonde. Almost. If not for the obvious stress that was swimming on the woman's irises that were currently peering at him, Naruto would probably have already shouted and told her off.
"Just… Just get some rest. You need it." He tells her.
He started to walk towards the door but was stopped when he heard Hinata's voice again.
But this time, it was softer, more angelic.
"Thank you, Naruto."
He doesn't respond.
The blonde finds himself at home much earlier these days. He doesn't admit it but ever since what happened at the club two weeks ago, he wanted nothing but to see or just be in close vicinity with Hinata.
Was it protectiveness? Guilt? He doesn't really know.
Both of them are currently eating dinner in silence. It has always been their setup ever since they got married. But the silence tonight was unbearably bad.
Naruto doesn't like it one bit.
"Are you okay?" He asks the raven-haired as he rests his spoon on his plate.
Hinata froze at his question. And the Uzumaki fought the urge to roll his eyes at this.
Was he really that scary? Did that one stupid fight they had made Hinata feel this afraid of him? Sure, he wasn't especially kind to her in their first few months together but that fight wasn't all that serious. At least to him. He was just pissed about something at work during that time and he took out his anger on the woman.
"I'm okay." She answers.
Naruto looks at her. And then sighed.
"Look. Whatever I said during that fight… I'm sorry. I was just mad at that moment. And lashed out on you as a result. I said some stupid things. I'm sorry."
Hinata looks at him. And for a moment Naruto saw her eyes gleam with relief. Hope, maybe. But that small moment was immediately replaced with glum and complete resignation.
Naruto hated it.
"If you have a problem with me, tell me. Don't give me that look."
Silence.
The blonde himself doesn't know why he was being like this when in the first place, he was the one who initiated the boundary between them. A boundary that morphed into a small reminder that he won't ever care for her in their time as husband and wife. So why was he being like this?
"It's nothing, Naruto." She begins. "I was just thinking about… About how we've been married for nine months already."
That was it?
"So?" He asks once more.
"We're gonna file for a divorce after a year… right?"
Oh.
Oh.
He almost forgot about that.
"Oh, that. Yes. I believe that was our agreement."
There's a lump on his throat when he answered her. Something about that fact unsettled him.
"I was just thinking about that. That's all."
Naruto wants to ask her why she was thinking about that all of a sudden. But his pride stopped him from doing so.
He stood up from his chair and proceeded to exit the dining room. He felt so suffocated with the atmosphere they were currently in. He wasn't sure if Hinata felt the same but the air that was going in through his lungs felt so thick and heavy. And he knew if he stayed a second longer there, he would choke.
As he reached their room, Naruto quickly plopped on the bed, exhaling a deep and long sigh. He wasn't entirely certain what made his mood suddenly turn into sour.
Was it the idea that he was going to divorce her in three months?
Or was it the fact that they were together for nine months but all they shared was nothing but cold shrugs?
Naruto closes his eyes in frustration. Why was he being like this anyway?
"Ugh, fuck it. The sooner we end this stupid marriage the sooner I'll get back with Kurotsuchi. Just three more months. I'm done with this."
He whispers to himself. Or so he thought.
Hinata could only stare in admiration at the smiling woman in front of her. Short brown locks hugging her small face in ways she knew she couldn't pull off. Fair and dainty skin she knows she could never compare with her own. Eyes dark as the night sky that she knows would compliment Naruto's oceanic ones.
Kurotsuchi is beautiful.
And Hinata was just Hinata.
"I'm sorry I called you so unexpectedly. I just wanted to meet and talk to you."
Hinata couldn't help but smile at her. Now she sees what made Naruto fall in love. Kurotsuchi was everything she wasn't.
"No. It's okay. I wasn't doing anything anyway."
The brown-haired returns her smile before taking a small sip of tea they had ordered a while ago.
"Hinata, right?" Hinata offers a gentle nod.
"I'm Kurotsuchi. Naruto's… Girlfriend."
The Hyuga heiress already knows. But despite that, it still pricked every corner of her heart. Painfully so.
"It's nice to meet you, Kurotsuchi."
There was a look of surprise at the woman's face. But Hinata soothes her with another smile. A reassuring one.
"I'm sorry. I just thought you would react differently. I was surprised you took all of these so calmly."
"I already knew about you even before we got married. So I was prepared for this day to come."
A small silence lingered between them before Kurotsuchi spoke again. And the words she blurted out was something Hinata wasn't prepared to hear at all.
"I won't beat around the bush anymore, Hinata. I asked to meet with you because I want to tell you that I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant with Naruto's baby."
That was great news, right?
"C-Congratulations Kurotsuchi! I'm happy for you."
"Thank you, Hinata. To be honest I was so adamant in telling you this because I thought you would get angry at me. But I'm so glad you're cool about this."
Ha. Hinata was far from cool deep inside. In fact, she was burning deep in a lava of disbelief and jealousy.
But what could she even do at this point? Their divorce is due in two months. And Kurotsuchi, the love of Naruto's life, is pregnant with his baby. Even if she wants to stay by his side, that won't change the fact that Naruto was going to have a family. A real one. Not like theirs. Forced and unwanted.
"Did you already tell him about this?" Hinata asks with a fake enthusiasm in her voice.
"Not yet! But I will tell him soon! I'm just trying to find a good time to surprise him!"
"How about you tell him on his birthday?"
Call her a masochist, a martyr and whatnot. But it's better than crying in front of the very woman whom Naruto loves so much.
"Oh my God! You're a genius, Hinata! I'll do that! Thank you!"
Hinata smiles. Even when her own heart was slowly breaking into pieces. She smiles because she knew she was the one who inserted herself in the picture. She was the outsider, the trespasser, the anomaly in the game. A game that she has already lost even before it started.
But at the very least, she'd be gone by the time Naruto's birthday comes around.
"Oi, Naruto! What's gotten into you? You look like you're about to murder the steak Sakura cooked. You good?"
The blonde would like to ask that to himself too.
What's gotten into him these past few weeks? What made him so pissed and sad at the same time? What made him feel so… empty?
"I'm okay, Sai. Just thinking about work."
Lies. He's been spouting lies these days as well. Lies to pacify the roaring voices inside his mind. Lies to persuade himself that everything was okay. But no. Everything wasn't okay. And no, he wasn't thinking about work. Not at all.
Naruto was thinking about Hinata. And how she's been avoiding him ever since they had that cold dinner. He hated every moment of it. He hated how Hinata just feels even more far away than before. He hated how she didn't look at him for more than a second or two every time he was home. He hated the freezing atmosphere. But he hated himself more for getting so affected by it.
"Whatever dork. Anyway, this is everything Aunt Kushina asked for the party. We just have to wait for the day to come and we're good to go!"
Naruto smiles at the small stack of paper Sakura has placed on the table. She really goes overboard when it comes to planning parties.
"Thanks, Sakura. I'm sorry I couldn't help you with the planning process."
"It's okay. I like planning things anyway! Besides, Ino is helping me so you don't have to worry too much."
The blonde smiles at this before turning back to his barely touched food. He doesn't really have the appetite to down anything at this moment. He just felt like he was floating, tirelessly moving around and empty.
Naruto knows that he may be overthinking things. That maybe, he's inside his mind too much. But the irritating feeling in his gut continues to grow by the minute. It continues to make him feel restless. And it continues to make him feel like an asshole.
"Hinata will come to your birthday party, right?"
The question made Naruto bite his tongue.
"Y-Yeah. I think so." He answers with a voice laced with uncertainty. And this immediately caught the attention of his friends. The uncaring Sasuke included.
"You don't sound so sure, idiot."
"Well… I haven't told her yet."
Sakura and Sai shares a knowing look. A confused and sympathetic one. Sasuke on the other hand gave an unimpressed grunt. And Naruto wishes for the ground to just take him whole.
"Naruto. I know you were so adversed by the idea of getting married to Hinata, or anyone who isn't Kurotsuchi for that matter. But I would like to remind you that before all this shit happened, both of you were once friends. I think you forgot about that part."
The Uchiha heir looks at him dead in the eye.
"All this time, you're treating her like she's some villain who took away your happiness. But have you considered the fact that maybe you're the bigger evil in this narrative?"
Naruto felt like he was drowning with the depth of his bestfriend's words. Sasuke rarely includes himself in their talks but when he does, it was always like this. Unpretending and downright blunt.
Their two other friends just listened to them attentively, trying not to break the seriousness of the atmosphere. And Naruto thinks that maybe they've been waiting for this moment to tell him this. To tell him how much of a heartless bastard he has been to Hinata.
"I'm sorry."
He wasn't entirely sure whom the apology was meant for. But that was the only thing he could say after that earful from Sasuke.
"You should tell her about the party when you go home tonight, Naruto. I'm sure Hinata would be glad." Sakura suggests after a minute of awkward silence.
Will she though?
After the things he has done to her, will inviting her to his birthday party solve it all? Will it erase all the unpleasant memories he has given her the past year? Will it be enough to salvage what was left of their neglected friendship?
"While I'm at it…" Sasuke speaks once again which made the three turn their attention to him. "Are you going to invite Kurotsuchi too?"
The shrilling voicelessness bursts Naruto's ear. Hesitancy and confusion lingering on his unmoving face. Sasuke has hammered the last nail on his coffin. And the blonde doesn't think there was a way out of this.
"I don't know."
"Just leave me the fuck alone, Chojuro! How many times do I have to tell you that I don't want to be with someone like you?! Are you really that desperate?"
The man looks at her with an even more determination in his eyes. He wasn't going to give up anytime soon.
"I don't think I can leave you and the baby, Kurotsuchi. I can't. I'm not a cruel man like Naruto."
"Fuck you! This baby isn't yours!"
Kurotsuchi steps back. And memories of the nights she has spent with Chojuro flashes inside her mind like a bullet.
"I know it's mine. You don't have to lie to me."
The brunette bites back the tears that were starting to form around her eyes. She couldn't let Chojuro destroy her future. Not when she was so close in telling Naruto that the baby inside her was his. Not to the man in front of her now.
"Just leave, Chojuro. If you really care for me and the baby… Just leave and don't come back."
The blue-haired clenches his fists as he stares at the woman he has loved since they were kids. And then he turned his back and began to walk away. But not without leaving words that almost made Kurotsuchi tremble in distraught.
"I love you, Kurotsuchi. Don't think all of this will end here."
"Okay."
Naruto expected a different answer from the woman who has been cold and distant to him for the past few weeks. Of course he was happy that she agreed to come to the party (as she should because she was his wife) but he wasn't expecting it to be this easy considering their current situation.
All's well that ends well? Naruto liked to think that.
And now, the blonde finds himself at the corner of a jewelry shop. Looking through necklaces he would give to Hinata on his birthday.
He knows it won't be enough to redeem himself but it was a start.
"Are you looking to find some necklace for your girlfriend, Sir?"
A middle-aged woman who also looks like the owner of the shop walks up to him and asks.
"No. It's actually for my… For my wife."
Something in between those words made Naruto's inside squirm. He doesn't understand why but all he knows is that he wasn't like this when he bought a ring for Kurotsuchi.
"Oh! I'm sorry for assuming things, Sir. You just look young to be married, that's all."
"It's okay, Ma'am! I get that a lot." The blonde replied and gave a warm smile to the woman.
"So… What is your wife like, Sir? Maybe I can help you find the perfect gift?"
Naruto stills for a moment and he could feel the warmth blooming on his cheeks.
"Oh. Um… She's…"
A sudden memory hit him like a truck.
Of a small elementary student Hinata defending him against a big middle school student. Of how she managed to scare those boys away like it was her everyday thing to do. And of how she smiled so bright at him despite the obvious fear behind her eyes.
"Let's be friends from now on!"
"She's strong. Beautiful and strong."
The woman hums as an answer before turning to the glass cabinet that was lined with different necklaces. And her eyes gleamed with fondness when it stopped at a specific necklace.
"Looking at you and hearing your praises for your wife truly made me feel like she's a calm woman that has tamed the storms within your heart, Sir. And this Tanzanite stone necklace would be a perfect fit for her. Soothing and compassionate."
Naruto looks at the necklace. And he smiles. Widely.
This was it.
The blonde couldn't help but grin at the onslaught of birthday greetings on his messaging app. Messages from his classmates during college, to his colleagues at work, and even friends of his friends. His face hurts just from smiling.
But what made him even more giddier was the fact that Hinata cooked him ramen for breakfast. His favorite.
He was so glad that Hinata was smiling at him before he left for work. Like she hasn't been distant from him for weeks. She just smiled at him genuinely. Warmly.
"Sir. The car is ready."
Naruto nods at his secretary and began to collect his things.
It was still 6 P.M. but his mother made him promise to get off from work as early as possible. Naruto chuckles as he remembers their conversation once again. Telling him to come to the party early because she was missing her baby boy. He just turned twenty-four for God's sake!
The Uzumaki was about to exit his office when his phone vibrated with a message.
A message from Kurotsuchi.
[Happy birthday, babe! I have the most amazing gift for you! <3 Can't wait to see your reaction lol. I love you!]
Naruto for the entirety of the day was all smiles and grins.
He frowns for the first time.
---
The party that was carefully planned by his mother and Sakura was almost perfect.
Everything was decorated with his favorite color (orange) and his favorite foods were creatively laid out on the long table.
What made the night even more fun was the laughs and banters shared by his friends. Kiba and Choji teasing Shino, Lee forcing Shikamaru and Sasuke to dance, everything was almost perfect.
"Your date running late?"
The blonde offered a small smile to her pink-haired friend.
"Maybe I should've picked her up?"
He asks Sakura.
But mostly, the question was directed to himself.
"I'm sure she'll come, Naruto. This is Hinata we're talking about."
The Uzumaki smiles once again. Gripping the small box inside his pocket. But the uneasiness was still creeping its way to his chest. And he just couldn't shake it off no matter what.
A blaring silence hovered the place which immediately caught the attention of Naruto and Sakura. The laughter that has been crowding the room for the past hour was gone. Eyes roaming around confusedly. Everything stood still.
"Kurotsuchi?"
The blonde asks the woman who was smiling awkwardly at the entrance door. He decided not to invite her to the party out of respect for his parents, the business partners, and Hinata. But now he was bamboozled as to why the woman was here. He was sure he made her understand his situation. Their situation. And yet she was here.
A spark of annoyance bubbled inside his chest at the sight of his lover. Why did she have to make everything even more complicated than it already was?
Naruto notices his father holding his mother's hand, who obviously wasn't pleased at the scene. Sasuke gives him a bored look while all of his other friends are in a shell-shocked state.
And right before anyone could form a single word, Naruto drags Kurotsuchi away.
---
"Babe! Wait! Where are we going?"
Naruto ignored the woman's cries, continuing to pull her away from the venue until they reached an empty spot in the parking lot.
Pissed was an understatement to the true extent of Naruto's current feelings. But lashing out was the last thing on his list tonight.
"Why are you here?" He questions Kurotsuchi, voice dangerously low.
The brunette just looked at him with a confused face.
"Why? Huh… I just wanted to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. That's all. Is something wrong with that?"
"Didn't we already agree about this? Kurotsuchi, you can't just do that and show up unannounced! Especially now that my parents' business associates are here!"
Kurotsuchi looked offended at this. But Naruto wasn't done yet.
"I told you to wait. But you just had to be impatient and make things even more difficult!"
"Until when will I wait, Naruto?! Huh?! Until I give birth to our child?!"
The blonde felt his limbs and bones crumbling at what he just heard.
"W-What?"
The woman sighs and then takes both of his hands and places them on top of her stomach. "I'm pregnant with our baby, Naruto."
At this juncture, Naruto remembers a moment where his father told him a story of when he found out his mother was pregnant with him. It was the happiest day of my life, his father would say.
Why wasn't he?
Hinata wakes up to the gentle breeze kissing her skin. She noted how different the air was compared to the city. It was lighter, pure. And Hinata wonders when was the last time she felt like this.
"Hinata? Hey. I made you some coffee."
The younger Hyuga turns to her cousin who sat at the other hsmmock in his backyard.
"Thank you, Neji. I'm sorry I came without any heads-up."
"You talk as if we aren't cousins. I told you it's okay. I'm alone most of the time anyway."
Hinata giggles at his words and accepts the warm mug of coffee. She then turned to the overlooking view at Neji's home. Breathing in the beauty she rarely sees. Trees, flowers, and some more trees.
Despite the lack of people and activity around the area, Hinata doesn't mind at all. She loved how peaceful and quiet the place was. Serene almost.
The heiress sips the coffee. And she smiles, feeling content.
"So… Do you want to talk about it?"
Neji breaks the silence.
But Hinata didn't even flinch.
"Kurotsuchi is pregnant."
Another silence brewed between them once more. And Hinata knows Neji was too surprised to form any massive reaction after what she had just said.
"I'm okay, Neji. I'd like to think I am."
"How did you know?" He asks.
"We met up a couple weeks ago. She told me about it."
Neji gave her a puzzled look. But she didn't dwell on that for long and continued on speaking.
"She's kind. Really. And I know… I know she and Naruto would have the most beautiful family..."
And right before she knew it, Hinata was trapped in Neji's comforting embrace. She hadn't even noticed she was crying until she felt the tears trickling down her cheeks. Talk about being such a crybaby.
"I'm happy for them, Neji. I really am. But why? Why does it hurt so much? All I did was love him… I just love him…"
Neji only rubs her back and hums. If there was anyone who would understand her best, it was him. But words remain painfully stuck on his throat like pins and needles. He doesn't know what to say. Or maybe, he just can't give any helpful advice to his cousin. Because just like Hinata, Neji had to let go of the only person he dearly loved as well.
Hinata sobs some more. Until her limbs weakened from the emotional exhaustion. Soft sniffles linger. And the younger Hyuga now fell asleep against his chest.
The brunette sighs while cradling his cousin in his arms. And Neji remembers childhood memories. Of how he always cradled Hinata just like this back when they were toddlers. Of how she always tells him she was scared when her father was mad. Of how she was scared of the future. Of how she loved cooking. Of how she liked the blonde kid in her class. Neji sighs. And then smiles, tears escaping his eyes.
"I wish we didn't grow up, Hinata. If we stayed as kids forever, maybe we won't be suffering as much as we do now. You don't deserve this."
The wind gusts, drying his own tears. And Neji holds his cousin, his sister, even tighter.
"If we had known life was going to hurt like this… Would we be able to make better and different choices?"
Neji shakes his head gently as an answer to his own thoughts. No, impossible. Because as painful as his life has been, loving Tenten was by far the greatest decision he has ever made. And he knows, loving Naruto was Hinata's too.
Despite it having to end this way.
Sasuke was on his way to the hospital to visit Sakura when he saw Kurotsuchi walk into a restaurant.
In any other situation, the Uchiha would have minded his own business. He would probably ignore what he saw and sped away to meet his lover. Keeping his nose out of other's businesses was something he was good at anyway.
But his hunch and curiosity won him over. The distressed and annoyed look Kurotsuchi had when she went inside the shop pushed him to follow the woman even moreso.
It was nerve-wracking to say the least. Trying to get inside without being seen by the said woman. But Sasuke succeeded, sitting on the table across Kurotsuchi's that was separated by a 4-meter wooden table divider. It was enough to hear but not enough to be seen.
Sasuke berates himself for going out of his way to eavesdrop. This wasn't like him at all. But once he heard the conversation between Kurotsuchi and a man unknown to him, the Uchiha gave himself a pat on the back.
"It's not too late, Kurotsuchi. You can leave Naruto and come with me! We can leave here and build a home in Kiri!" The man began with a pleading tone already.
"We can be happier together, the three of us! That's why… Come with me, Kurotsuchi. I need you and our baby…"
Sasuke widened his eyes at what he just heard. It's only been a week since the woman crashed Naruto's party and now this? What the fuck was happening? His bestfriend haven't told them anything about him and Kurotsuchi getting back together. And a what now? A baby? Sasuke was utterly confused!
"And here I thought you're going to finally leave me alone… I should've known you're going to be like this again, Chojuro."
"And I already told you I won't give up, Kurotsuchi. Not when I know we're going to have a family soon!"
The Uchiha knows what he was hearing was personal. Too personal for anyone to hear. And he knows he should stop whatever he's doing now. But there was just something wrong with everything that was happening. Something doesn't make any sense. Something doesn't add up.
"It's too late for that I guess. I already told Naruto about the baby." Kurotsuchi didn't even stutter when she let go of the words.
"What the fuck? W-What… You… I can't believe you, Kurotsuchi! You know damn well that he's not the father of the baby! The baby is mine! She's ours!"
At Chojuro's heightened voice, customers began to turn their heads in their direction. And Sasuke thinks this may be the reason why there was a slight panic in Kurotsuchi's response.
"It d-doesn't matter, Chojuro. Naruto accepted me. He accepted the baby. Whatever you do from now on, I don't care. I don't fucking care anymore! If you plan on telling him, then go. But I doubt he's going to ever believe you. Who would trust the words of a low-ranking employee like you?"
The man named Chojuro released an incredulous scoff at the woman's words. Hell, even Sasuke's blood boiled at what stupidity Kurotsuchi was blurting out!
"Says the woman who slept with a low-ranking employee like me for weeks…"
If Sasuke would guess, Kurotsuchi was probably fuming red from embarrassment and anger. Because after that, she stood and left the man without batting a single eyelash. And the next thing the raven-haired heard was the man's soft sniffles. Chojuro was crying. Well to be fair, he would cry too if Sakura had said those words to him. Anyone would.
After a couple of minutes, the man left. Which leaves the Uchiha contemplating everything alone. Eyes closed and mouth pressed in a thin line.
"What the fuck am I supposed to do with this information now?"
Stress and weariness were evident in the blonde's eyes as he sat in front of his parents. He had just told them about Kurotsuchi's condition. And how Hinata was nowhere to be found ever since his birthday party, which to be exact, was two weeks ago.
His parents haven't spoken up yet. They were just looking at him in silence which added to Naruto's dilemma. Knowing his mother's temperament, the blonde was very much sure that she would give him an unending scolding.
But much to his surprise, his parents only lunged at him with a hug?
"We're sorry, sweetheart. This is all our fault."
If this was a year ago, Naruto would probably agree. This was indeed all his parents' fault. For forcing him into a marriage he didn't need and want. For making him leave Kurotsuchi just for the sake of their business. And for the mess that his heart was currently in.
If only this was a year ago.
"Looking back, we didn't even consider your feelings and situation. We were selfish. We only thought of ourselves and our company." His mother speaks against his ears, voice sullen and low. "And I thought… I thought I was helping you, you know? I thought Hinata would bring happiness in your life. I thought you two could work since both of you have been friends since kids. I thought I was doing both of you a favor. But in the end, I was just being selfish."
Naruto sees his father's hand place a comforting pat on his mother's back. And the dread that has been eating him alive for days, breaks the lone wall of sanity inside his mind.
Naruto cries.
And at this, his father tightens his hold on them both.
"I'm sorry we had to put the three of you in this painful situation, son."
The blonde felt like he had turned back into a child, crying helplessly in the arms of his parents after tripping over a rock. He felt disgustingly hopeless. And he knows he shouldn't be. He knows he shouldn't feel this way. He knows he shouldn't feel so broken. He shouldn't feel dissatisfied. Not when he was going to have a family of his own. Not when he was going to be reunited with the woman he loves.
Naruto knows he should be happy. Overjoyed even. This has been what he wanted all along. He had to hurt and say those awful words to Hinata just to have what he had now. But now that he has it, why wasn't he happy? Why does he feel so… hollow?
A knock on the door brought them back to reality. Kushina and Minato smiled at him before letting him go.
The blonde then wiped his tears away to spare himself some embarrassment from whoever was coming inside his father's office.
"Who was it, honey?" Kushina asks his father who was coming back with some paperwork in hand.
Naruto averts his eyes to the man as well and the look his father gave them both made his stomach sink.
"It's the Hyugas. They're asking for a much earlier date for the divorce."
Naruto sobs once more at the words. Much harder than before. He was gasping and heaving for air like he had just run a mile.
His mother then hurriedly went to his side, rubbing his back in hopes for him to calm down. But it was useless. He was crying so hard that he could feel his heart clenching tightly, lungs constricting him of oxygen, and face clogged with tears.
He was in pain. In a lot of pain.
"Minato! He's hyperventilating!" He hears his mother's yell. But she feels so distant and far away from him.
"Naruto. Come on. Breathe. Breathe with me."
He was now looking at his father. Ever smiling and calm. But he too couldn't do anything to take away the pain inside his chest.
He was a lost cause. His vision was fading. He felt so cold. He felt so tired.
"H-Hinata… N-No… I… P-Please… N-No…"
And before he could even finish the words, his eyelids grew heavy.
Hinata had always thought that this day would be hard to pull through and survive. She always imagined divorces to be rough, painful, and depressing. She had always believed that was the case with everyone. Including her.
But she was wrong. Absolutely wrong.
Because as she and the man he loves slowly exits the courtroom, Hinata felt happy more than ever. Not only for herself, but for Naruto as well.
It was hard to look at the blonde at first. After not seeing him for three weeks, the urge to embrace him was strong. However, Hinata's resolve was stronger.
She already made peace to herself. That whatever happens, regretting would be out of the options. From here on out, she will smile and continue to smile onto better days. From here on out, Hinata Hyuga will be happy.
"Looks like this is where we go our separate ways, Naruto. You… You take care. I wish you and Kurotsuchi a good life."
Hinata wonders if she said too much. Or maybe not enough. But regardless of the words, she genuinely wants the best for Naruto and his family.
The Hyuga gave him one last smile before turning her back away from the blonde. It was a bittersweet feeling, she notes. Like sipping a dark roasted coffee after eating a spoonful of chocolate cake. And despite how good the feeling was, Hinata doesn't think she could get used to this.
It was ironically rewarding. To finally let go of her first love. To finally see the world without the lens smudged with years of admiration. To just see how much the world was beautiful even without the person who amplified the beauty she was witnessing. It was indeed a bittersweet ending for Hinata. For them.
But she wasn't even that far enough when she felt loose arms wrapping her from behind. And at this sudden contact, Hinata internally panics. The panic however, immediately died down as soon as she started to feel warm tears wetting the skin of her shoulder.
"Hinata… Hinata… I… I was too late. I was too fucking late."
Even only with those words, somehow Hinata understood what Naruto meant. And at this, she smiled, patting the forearm that was resting on her other shoulder.
"Hmm. You were. But you were late for a reason, Naruto. You're going to be a father. A great one too!"
The Hyuga lifted his arms from her body and faced the man who was now full-on crying. She then traps his cheeks against her small hands and smiles warmly.
"And someday, you'll look back into this day and thank the universe that all of these happened. That what we had or what we hadn't, needed to end. It needed to end, Naruto. It has to… Or we would only continue hurting ourselves and everyone around us."
Pale meets blue. Only for the two to be separated once more.
And this time, Hinata knew there was no coming back. There was no chance for this to happen again. She knew this would truly be the last time. The last time she could ever hold Naruto. The last time she could look at him with all of her love. The last time she could feel his warmth. And the last time he could finally look at her like that.
"Goodbye, Naruto. I love you."
Hinata lets go.
And Naruto does too.
Sasuke was one to never regret. He was someone who always stood by his principles and lived his decisions with pride. And as far as his memory could take him back, Sasuke had always maintained that streak. Not regretting anything now comes as easy as breathing for the Uchiha.
But for the first time in his life, he does. Sasuke regrets.
He regrets keeping mum for too long. He regrets not telling Naruto or anyone for that matter what he had known immediately. He regrets becoming an indecisive bastard that he wasn't. Because now he feels responsible for the situation his bestfriend was currently in. He feels responsible for the tears and bare brokenness Naruto was showing him.
Two decades into their friendship, but this was the first time Sasuke witnessed this side of the blonde. And the Uchiha wishes to never see it ever again. No. He needs to make sure he never sees Naruto broken again.
And with that, Sasuke alongside Sakura sat face to face with Naruto. He needs to tell the blonde the truth. He has to. Before he starts to regret this for the rest of his life. And before the baby's life gets entangled further into their mess.
"What…? Sasuke. W-What did you just say?"
Contrary to the indifferent look that was plastered on his face, Sasuke was very much nervous as he told the blonde everything. Especially when he knows Naruto's tendencies to lash out when he's angry. But Sasuke was prepared to receive a punch or two.
"There's a big possibility that the baby Kurotsuchi is carrying isn't yours, Naruto. I heard her and a man named Chojuro talk about it last month."
Sakura held his hand. And that was all Sasuke needed to endure the tense moment.
"I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you this."
Without any warning, the Uzumaki dove between his two friends and let out an ear-splitting cry. But there was something different with that cry. Much different than when he heard Naruto cry last week. And Sasuke knew it was a cry out of relief. Happiness even.
"You need to talk with Kurotsuchi about this, Naruto. And… Try to remember when was the last time you were intimate with her. She's three months pregnant, right? We can know if it's really yours by confirming the date of conception. Getting a DNA test is also another option."
Sakura's words made the blonde weep even harder. And at this, the Uchiha hugged him back.
Sasuke wonders if things would've ended differently if he had told Naruto the truth much earlier. Or maybe if he had confronted Kurotsuchi directly on that day.
Would he have spared his bestfriend with the pain?
"Whatever you want to do from here on out, we're going to support you, idiot."
Onyx black catches jade green. And Sasuke's regrets wash into relief.
Hiashi Hyuga was a fearsome man. And almost everyone, including Hinata, was afraid of him.
That's why she considered it a miracle when her father agreed with the divorce settlement. Most especially when he accepted her back in his home without any words of harsh retaliation. Neji however describes this phenomenon as her father's way of atoning.
"Getting out of that marriage was the best possible decision. It's hard to raise a child that isn't yours."
There was a hint of bitterness in her father's voice when he said those words. But somewhere between the lines, Hinata understood what Neji meant. Her father cared about her. Despite all the iron-clad armor and unnerving image the man has shown and kept all these years, Hiashi Hyuga truly cared. Well, in his own different ways.
Living back at her father's home wasn't really in Hinata's masterplan. She had originally planned to just stay in Konoha and work under one of the Hyuga's companies. But Neji and his uncle insisted for her to come back to Kumo. To take a breather, they said. The young woman could only smile in surrender. She really couldn't deny Neji or her Uncle Hizashi even if she wanted to.
---
Hinata blinks as she sinks into her bed. Silence spreads over her body like a blanket on a cold winter night.
She was trying to sleep. She's been trying for almost two hours actually. But the ringing silence that has become her toughest opponent in the last month was getting harder to break. The music playing on her speaker, a distraction, was proving itself useless as well.
What made the situation even more difficult was the fact that silence brought his lackeys — thoughts buried on shallow ground and wishful thinking that will never come true. And they were ganging up on her as she continued to shift on her bed. Mercilessly. Without hesitation.
And Hinata doesn't want to lose against this fight. She doesn't want herself to let silence beat her up to a pulp. She doesn't want the thoughts to stain her blank canvas. Again. She doesn't want to remember things that made her forget about mornings or sleep. She doesn't want to. But Hinata knows more than anyone that no one can win against silence. Not even the loudest explosions can dent its gold armor.
But still Hinata tries. Tries to not listen to the nothingness that has been poking her awake. Tries to close her eyes from the blinding rays of gold that painfully reminds her of beautiful blonde locks. Hinata tries not to. But she thinks of Naruto Uzumaki, again.
The Hyuga punches the air. One. Two times. Three times. Ten times. Until the image of the man disappears inside the folds of her mind. She smiles. Now thinking that she was finally gaining the upper hand in the fight. But silence was everything sneaky and guile. Silence came running from behind, kicking her in the gut sending her further away from slumber.
Hinata winces at the invisible pain. And then stares at the void of black that has been ripping her soul for a month.
Flashes of blonde and blue seeps through the darkness.
Silence won again.
---
Neji had long mastered the art of pretending. If he would try to date back when he had learned the skill, the Hyuga would say he had learned it at the age of ten. Or even much earlier than that.
Well, that was something to be expected from a first-born of a traditional Asian clan. The need to be perfect all the time was deeply ingrained inside his mind that at times, pretending has become easier to do than to blink itself. Was it a blessing or a curse? Neji wasn't so sure.
But if it was indeed a curse, the man could only wish he was the only one bearing the burden of it.
Because now, Neji couldn't help but think that Hinata was caught in the webs of the spell too. With how her smile lost its legitimacy day by day and how her laughs sound so forced? Neji knew Hinata was pretending. And she was good at it to boot.
"I'm okay, Neji! You worry too much." Hinata would always say every time he confronts her. And of course he would worry. With everything that has happened, how could he not? How could he just let her be when he knew she was far from okay? That she was still hurting? Neji would be stupid if he does that. Because he knows what Hinata was feeling more than anyone in this world. He knows it all too well.
Neji could only sigh and shake his head. Even if he would start and blame the selfishness of adults now, nothing would change anyway. Him, Hinata, and Naruto would still suffer the consequences. Nothing will ever change their stories.
"Oi, Earth to Neji? Hello? Neji Hyuga, are you with me?"
The man blinks to a finger snapping in front of his face.
Oh, right. He was with Lee. He stupidly zoned out for a while there.
"Sorry, Lee. You were saying?" Lee let out an exasperated sigh before turning his full attention again at Neji.
"If we weren't friends I would have smacked you in the head."
He waves his hand. "Yeah, yeah. So? What were you saying?"
Neji notices the jovial glint on his friend's eyes. Lee only looked like that when he had news to tell. And by news, the Hyuga meant gossip.
"Okay. So I just heard it from Ino." The man began, voice a pitch higher. "It looks like Naruto isn't the father of Kurotsuchi's baby."
What now?
"I didn't even know it was possible to conduct a DNA test while pregnant until today but apparently, the test result turned out to be negative."
Hundreds of questions sprung inside Neji's mind but his throat was tightening up making it impossible for him to utter a single word. Lee on the other hand kept on rambling, only for the words to fall into deaf ears. Because at this very moment, the Hyuga could only hear a calm buzzing.
And then out of nowhere, his cousin's smiling face appeared at the forefront of his consciousness. A smile that was warm and genuine.
The buzzing stopped.
Kurotsuchi now understands.
What the small crease on Naruto's face meant when she told him she was pregnant. She had an inkling feeling creeping on her toes when she noticed it. A feeling she was afraid to accept. A feeling she refuses to acknowledge.
It all felt like a dream to the woman. A nightmare to be precise. Of how she was living her best life with the man she loves one moment and the next, he was gone. Too fast. Without warning.
It was maddening. Unfair. And it only makes her want to scream at the people who took away her life from her. Who took away her happiness.
But life itself was unfair. Nothing ever really goes our way the way we all want to. No matter how much we alter the code of the universe, what's meant for you, will always be yours. No matter how much you try to hold onto things that you want to have, if it isn't yours, it won't stay.
And Kurotsuchi thinks this was punishment. For becoming the inhibition on whatever the Gods were planning about. For becoming God itself, rewriting the words that were already written eons of years ago.
Kurotsuchi now understands. She does. Yet still a little part of her hopes. Yearns. That what was happening was just an elaborate joke. A prank of some sort. That Naruto still loves her despite the mistakes she has made. That Naruto would still hold her hand despite holding someone else's. That Naruto would still look her in the eye and smile as if she was the most beautiful person in the entire galaxy.
But yearnings are only yearnings. And it could never surmount against a predestined union of two individuals created by God.
Kurotsuchi now understands. "It's because of Hinata, isn't it?"
The blonde did not answer. And the brunette probably didn't need one.
"I know I lied. And I cheated... But why do I feel like you cheated on me first?"
The woman knows she was rubbing salt on an open wound. She knows putting the blame on Naruto won't change anything. And she knows it won't lessen the gravity of her mistakes. But the stubbornness still grows.
"I'm sorry, Kurotsuchi. I… I really am."
The brunette understands, really. But understanding does not automatically equate to acceptance.
"It's funny isn't it? How we thought things would get back to normal after a year… How we thought we would be back together. How we never thought all of these would happen…"
The Uzumaki looks at her. And God how she hated those eyes. Screaming with sincerity and regret.
"Kurotsuchi…"
"I know, Naruto. I just… I just can't believe this is how our story would end. I still love you so fucking much. I still want to be with you… But…"
Naruto hugs her. And Kurotsuchi wished he hadn't. Because she knows once the man pulls away from her, everything will truly be over.
"I loved you, Kurotsuchi. I was happy with you…"
"I know."
"Hinata... I want to be happy with her…"
"I know…"
The blonde was warm, Kurotsuchi notes. And she would probably miss that most about him.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm sorry too."
Naruto pulls away.
And the curtains began to close.
Two years have passed.
Two years of radio silence and unbroken ruminations.
Two years of discovering and unlearning truths.
Two years of letting go and holding on.
Two years.
Naruto would be lying if he'd say that those two years were amazing. It wasn't. But he would also be lying if he'll say that he wasn't happy those two years happened to him.
At least to the blonde, those two years were an eye-opener. A divine intervention. A portal he needed to go through. Two years. A lot of things changed during those two years.
He was two years clean. Alcohol obscured to oblivion. He even signed up for a group therapy session where he managed to dampen his angry flares with the help of people who were the same as him. People who lost control of their lives and let hate and anger take over. It was refreshing to say the least. To listen to people's stories. To understand their pain. To understand his own pain.
His therapist has once told him that it was okay to lash out and be angry. It was normal. After all, they were humans. And humans get angry. He also learned that bottling up anger wasn't healthy. That keeping all his hurt to himself will only lead to self-destruction, and in turn will hurt people who genuinely care for him. He gives up a bitter smile at that. He did hurt a lot of people.
"Everyone, today will be Naruto's last session with us! I know it's hard to say goodbye especially when all of you have grown closer in the past year but sadly Naruto's time with us is over."
Sniffles and frowns were growing around the room, sending a pang to the blonde's chest.
"Now, Naruto… Do you wish to say something to everyone before you leave?"
The Uzumaki regards the black-haired woman with a smile before turning to the group he has come to consider as dear friends.
"Uh, thank you, Miss Kurenai…" He clears his throat. "Hello, everyone? Uh… Firstly, I want to thank each and everyone of you here for helping me become a better person. I know it's a cliche thing to say... But I am really indebted to all of you. Thank you for lending your ears to all of my crappy stories. Thank you for being the shoulder that I could lean on every time I feel like slipping. It's been stormy, and painful... But my time here with all of you is one of the most beautiful days in my life. I have become this Naruto now thanks to all of you."
A tear escaped from his eyes, and soon after everyone was also crying.
"Miss Kurenai, thank you for not giving up on me. If I hadn't met you that day, I don't think I would have stood in front of you like this. Gaara, I know we started off on the wrong foot but I'm glad to call you my friend. Thank you for always being there when things get rough during the sessions. Karui, thank you for always reminding me of my growth every time I feel stuck. Despite your sharp words and tone, I truly appreciate you. Haku, life has been shit to you but during my stay here, you never made me feel alone. Thank you for being kind. And for punching me when I'm being a dumbass."
Naruto finally sees the grins. Of the same smiles that somehow saved him from the slump he was in years ago. Of the smiles he will surely bring to the future, even until his death.
"I still have a lot of things to thank you for, really. But words won't be enough. And this won't be the last time we will be seeing each other, right? Hahaha! You can always hit me up whenever you feel like it!"
Karui stood up and embraced him. Which was then followed by everyone. Naruto never felt so happy again.
"We're going to miss you, Naruto!"
Naruto will certainly miss them too.
"Alright! Are you all up for a photo?"
A soothing voice breaks their bubble. And at this, butterflies spread through the corners of his stomach.
"Hinata!" Karui lets go of him and runs towards the woman — the woman who was the very reason for him to change and become a better person.
"Hello, Karui! Hello, everyone! How have you been?"
Hinata greets them with her usual soft smile, walking closer to where he and the others are.
"It's nice to see you, Hinata! Picking up Naruto again?"
The Uzumaki rolls his eyes at Haku who only gives him a knowing smirk.
"You could say that, Haku." The Hyuga answers and then giggles.
Oh, how Naruto would do anything for those giggles. Anything.
"Come on, everyone. Hinata is waiting. She's going to take a photo of us, right?"
Miss Kurenai interrupts with a slight amusement in her voice which immediately makes Karui go back to her place.
Naruto looks at the raven-haired, feeling content. It's only been a month after they reconnected with each other ever since the divorce but the blonde felt like they've never been away from each other. Like Hinata never left him.
"Oi, Naruto! Quit staring at Hinata! Come on!"
His face immediately heats up at Karui's remarks.
"Y-Yeah."
Everyone erupted in laughter when the blonde almost plopped his face on the ground. He really needed to up his game everytime Hinata was around.
"Okay… Everyone… Say, cheese!"
"CHEESE!!!"
Naruto wonders if all of this was just a dream. That one day he'd wake up from all of these and go back to his once miserable life. That maybe, the Gods were making fun of him because of everything that he'd done in the past. That maybe, in a blink of an eye, this happiness will vanish.
But something or someone holds his hand, slowly taking him away from his depressing musings. And there he saw the woman that has been the sole reason for everything that he has done.
"Let's go?"
This lifetime wasn't enough to make up for every mistake Naruto has done to Hinata. He knows that much. But if this life won't be enough, the blonde will leap onto the next lifetime, and the next, and the next, until he could stand beside the blinding light of Hinata's love.
"Let's go."
They bid goodbye to everyone in the therapy center. And maybe, to his old self as well. Naruto notes the sadness inside his chest. But he thinks it was a good kind of sad. Bittersweet, but fulfilling.
---
"You can open your eyes now."
Naruto knows he didn't deserve this.
He didn't deserve to breathe the same air as Hinata. He didn't deserve to trudge along the roads with her by his side. He didn't deserve to smile every time he dared to look at her. He didn't deserve Hinata's smile for that matter. He knows he didn't deserve this. All of it.
But the silent glee on Hinata's eyes as she fluttered them open wrecked a turmoil within the corners of Naruto's chest. The gentle wonder and calm euphoria her eyes exude could only leave his heart in a skirmish of ashes. Hinata looked ethereal. Godly. A being that graced the cruel world with her kindness and beauty. A magician that never fails to plaster a smile to every walking spectator. An angel that husks away the sinful fires that shackles any creature in this universe. Hinata was many things. And Naruto was just Naruto.
He knows. That whatever magical incantation he was witnessing in front of him, he didn't deserve any of it. He doesn't.
But Naruto Uzumaki, the very same man who hurt this woman, wants to deserve all of this. He wants to deserve this. All of it.
The wind dances with Hinata's midnight hair. And it tugged every thread of Naruto's heart, denying the entry of air in his lungs. But Naruto doesn't complain. No. Naruto just lets his body stop at the beautiful sight. Naruto just let his system drown with the image of Hinata smiling at him like he was the only person in this world. And Naruto wonders if the Gods consider him selfish. For being the only person who was seeing this miraculous moment. And he chuckles. Because the Gods probably did think that way.
"This place is breathtaking, Naruto… I love it."
You're the reason why this place is breathtaking, Naruto wanted to say that. But he can't disrupt the enchanting world they were in right now with his cheesy and crappy lines. And so he retorts with a shy grin. Uncharacteristic from someone like him who always screamed a response.
"I'm glad you loved it."
The woman hums as she leaned on to the metal rails that separated them from the governing sight of the city lights. And as she leaned forward, her necklace escaped promptly from her lavender blousson.
Naruto wanted to cry there and then. It was the necklace he bought for her two years ago. The same necklace he gave to Neji (because he was a coward to face Hinata) before he underwent therapy. Hinata was wearing it. She was wearing it.
The Hyuga probably noticed her muted shock as she adjusted herself and faced him. And God, how Naruto would love to photograph this very moment.
"Does… Does it not look good on me?"
The Uzumaki shakes his head in haste. The last thing he wanted in this lifetime was to make this woman feel unwanted, unappreciated.
"No! It… You look beautiful! I-I mean the necklace is beautiful! A-And you too! You're beautiful!"
Naruto berates his very flustered answer. If only he could punch himself in the gut.
"I see."
The blonde wills himself to glance at the woman. And the look that Hinata was giving him knocked every cell in his body.
Hinata was smiling. But the smile that was grazed on her face was unlike any other smile she has given him before. This smile was different, a good different.
Naruto was one to never assume things. Because assumptions sometimes only lead to expectations that then turn into disappointments. And so he has always told himself to never think more than what was presented. To never attempt in creating a deeper meaning to an obvious and shallow response.
Yet tonight, he does. Naruto assumes. Naruto thinks more than what was presented. Naruto creates a much deeper meaning to the silent response. Naruto assumes that he was the reason for Hinata's smile. That he was the reason why her smile was different. That he was the reason why she looked beautiful tonight. The blonde knew he was reaching too far. But he would take with him anything he could. Even if all of these were just thoughts his mind wants him to believe, Naruto would gladly take all of it and keep it in the safe corner of his pocket. Naruto would cling onto these assumptions, disappointments be damned.
"Hinata. I love you."
Do you see what assumptions make you do? It makes you dig all the buried feelings and blurt it all out like it's nothing. It makes you shameless. It makes your brain run haywire. It taints your sanity, persuading yourself that what you're seeing is the truth. It screams at you and then lulls you to sleep. It burns and then soothes. Assumption is a weapon sharper than any tool. Sharper than a dragon's fangs. And Naruto, willingly stabs himself in the chest with it.
Silence reigned soon after. Except maybe for the wind howling and his heart racing a mile per hour.
His brain tells him to speak. Or even take back what he had just said. But he knew he would never take those words back. Never.
There was a visible flush on the woman's face. But the redness was then immediately overtaken and sheathed with tears. Fat teardrops that didn't suit Hinata's lovely face. And at this, Naruto panics.
"Hinata, I-I'm sorry! Did I say something wrong? If I did… Please tell me! I don't want to see you cry over whatever I sai—"
Warm, soft lips touch his own chapped ones. And Naruto wonders if he has ascended to heaven. Because this must be what heaven feels like! Naruto shivers and instinctively wraps his hand around Hinata's waist. But the woman decided to pull away.
"I love you too…"
As much as he loves hearing those words, Naruto could only lunge at Hinata for another kiss, already missing the warmth the woman has given him. He embraces her like there was no tomorrow and breathes in her scent like it was his salvation. He kissed her deeply, breathlessly as if to make up for the mistakes he has done in the past. But deep inside, the Uzumaki knew those hurtful words and actions could not be eradicated easily. He had to atone for everything with his life.
The Hyuga pulls away and leans her forehead against his. Smiling while catching each other's breath. And Naruto thinks once again. Of how undeserving he was of Hinata's love. Of how he was unworthy of this all.
But in a snap, his deprecating thoughts vanished under Hinata's merciful smile.
He didn't deserve this.
"I love you so much, Hinata…"
He knew he didn't.
But he wants to be. He needs to be the man worthy of Hinata's life and love.
"I love you, Naruto."
And if it meant he would have to follow this woman forever in order to become one, Naruto would gladly do so.