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Jungkook has been in the shower for just over an hour now, hands and forehead pressed against the tiles as he sways his hips side to side through the contractions. He’s not sure exactly how long he's been in labour for, just knows it started during the night, got progressively worse throughout the day, and now it’s night again. Seokjin had come in just before to check on him, leaving a few candles behind on the sink when Jungkook had complained about the overhead light feeling too harsh on his eyes.
The pain starts again and Jungkook groans with it, pushing his face harder against the wall as his legs shake. When the contractions had first started to get bad he had cried and clung onto his boyfriend, not wanting Seokjin out of his sight but by now he's over the whole thing and just wants to be left alone in the silence of their bathroom so he can concentrate on not ripping his hair out and also so that he can avoid begging Seokjin to get this thing out of him. (He can think it quietly to himself instead.) He pants as the pain starts to level out, feeling the pressure in his pelvis sink lower. It feels like the baby is crushing his pubic bone, sitting right against his cervix, widening his hips. It’s gut wrenching, the pain squeezing his body over and over again, and the moments of rest he’s getting in-between are getting shorter and shorter.
He jumps when he feels a pop, tilting his head down as he feels his waters run down his legs mixing in with the shower water, washing down the drain as another contraction builds and — holy shit, his waters just broke.
“Hyung!”
Seokjin is back in the bathroom before Jungkooks has even finished shouting, closing the door behind him quickly to keep the heat in. Jungkook sobs, reaching out to grab for him, his hands curling into fists as he squats a little, trying to move the pain but it won’t budge, the pressure is back in full force and Jungkook realises how much he really really doesn't want to do this. His breath catches in his throat as baby moves further down and he doesn't want to do it he’s changed his mind it can stay in and—
“Oh, Jungkook . Jungkook, baby, you’re fine. Take a breath, I’m right here you’re okay.”
“Hyung, I can’t I think my water broke it really hurts and it’s not stopping, hyung—”
“Sweetheart it will it’s okay, the baby is just closer to being born! We’re going to meet our baby!”
Jungkook wails, pulling Seokjin closer to him under the shower spray. His hyung moves willingly, not caring about being fully clothed, running his hand soothingly down Jungkook's naked back, pressing circles into the bottom of it.
“Let’s calm down and do some deep breathing, okay? You’ve been doing so good with it, let’s get that back.”
They stand and breathe together until the contraction finally wears off, and Jungkook does admittedly feel a little better by the end of it. In the short lull Jungkook lets his weight fall back against Seokjin who tightens his hold around Jungkook’s waist, pressing his face into the side of his sweaty neck, nuzzling him gently.
“You’re doing great, I promise. Have you felt any needs to push yet?”
Jungkook’s breath hitches, a few more tears running tracks down his cheeks.
“No.”
Seokjin smiles into his skin,
“Okay, but can I check?”
Jungkook sniffles, but nods, leaning forwards again to brace himself on the tiles, the cold feeling like heaven on his overheated skin as he presses against them. Seokjin moves back to strip off his wet t-shirt and jogging bottoms, stepping back into the shower in just his underwear, accepting that Jungkook isn't moving anywhere else anytime soon. It seems like he’s found his favourite spot. (Curled over the back of the sofa had been his previous one, but Seokjin guesses the water from the shower just gives this spot that extra edge.)
Seokjin gets down onto his knees, sitting on his heels before gently tapping Jungkook's ankle, helping him lift his foot to rest on Seokjin’s thigh. Jungkook spreads his legs a little wider, used to Seokjin checking his dilation like he has been for the past few hours.
Seokjin had put in the work to learn the ins and outs of home births when Jungkook had decided he would rather have their baby at home. They had watched videos together, attended birthing classes. Seokjin has a stack of pregnancy and delivery books sitting on his bedside table, and is now full of knowledge on a subject he never previously thought he would have to have. But now he knows what feels like everything - he had needed to know that Jungkook was in safe hands with him at home, as the other hadn't wanted anyone else to be present apart from Seokjin.
“Okay, Kook, hold tight I’ll be quick”
Seokjin trails his fingers up Jungkook's thigh before resting against his pussy, dipping his finger in slightly to make sure Jungkook is wet enough before pushing into him with two fingers. Seokjin is quick as possible when feeling around his cervix, raising his eyebrows when he realises just how much Jungkook has dilated since the last time he had checked a few hours before. He’s as gentle as possible with his fingers but Jungkook still scrunches his face up and whines. Seokjin tries to snuff down his smile as he realises that Jungkook is just about ready, the baby's head sitting just under his fingertips. He pulls them out slowly, rinsing his hand under the running shower water before patting Jungkook's thigh and bum, standing up.
“I think it’s nearly show time, baby.”
Jungkook says nothing, just pushes his nose harder against the shower wall. Seokjin gets up to wrap his arms around him, kissing his puffy cheek. Jungkook scrunches his face up again.
“Ouch.”
His cheek is too kissable, so Seokjin pecks it again.
“I know, but this is the last hurdle. Do you want to stay here?”
“Yes.”
“Even to push?”
“Yes.”
Seokjin squeezes him again, pressing a final kiss to his temple.
“Okay, baby.”
He’s soaking wet as he exits the bathroom and goes through to the living room, collecting his phone, Jungkook’s ice chips, and the other delivery essentials. They had bought absorbent pads for the living room, where Jungkook had previously planned to give birth, but Seokjin leaves them folded on the table. How their shower stall is more comfortable than their cosy living room Seokjin has no idea, but he's not the one pushing out a baby, so he keeps his mouth shut.
When he gets back to the bathroom Jungkook is no longer bending over but is in a half squat, hands braced on his thighs. Little sobs are coming out of his mouth and Seokjin's heart breaks for him, at the tightness of the muscles of his back, his shaking thighs. He tries to calm down the nerves and guilty excitement swirling around his stomach, choosing to focus solely on Jungkook and doing whatever he needs.
He puts the things he’s holding down onto the counter, taking some towels from the cupboard to line the bottom tiles of the shower with in case Jungkook wants to change positions, and to hopefully make it less slippery. He keeps them folded up to pad the floor, supporting Jungkook around his waist as he coaxes him to lift each foot to stand on them instead.
Jungkook is panting, mouth open as he tries not to bare down as the pressure intensifies. It feels horrendous, and Jungkook doesn't know what noises must be coming out of his mouth but he’s sure there are some as he grabs at the arm Seokjin has around his waist, just trying to hold on. Seokjin reaches past him to the shower dials to shut off the water but that sounds like a terrible idea to Jungkook so he vocalises it, reaching to slap Seokjin’s hand back, shaking his head back and forth before putting both hands back on his thighs to lower his squat, the only thing that helps take off a little bit off the pressure.
Seokjin watches Jungkook screw up his face before kneeling down behind him, wrapping his arms around his hips again to support some of his weight. He tries to look between Jungkook's open legs but in the candle light it's too dark.
“Jungkook, can I turn the light on? I need to be able to see, it’s too dark.”
Jungkook moans a guttural sound, shaking his head again. Seokjin can't tell if it’s just a contraction or if he’s pushing. He looks around, trying to see if he can move any of the bigger brighter candles more towards them but spots his phone instead. Getting up is a struggle, poor Jungkook crying again as he's left to support his own weight but Seokjin gets to his phone and, with only a split second to worry for his battery incase of emergencies, turns on the torch.
It’s brighter, but Jungkook doesn't react to it so Seokjin counts it as a win. He moves it to just outside the shower stall, shining it through the glass.
He gets back into the shower reaching out for Jungkook again, who stands panting and wobbling, tears running down his face as he lets out small whimpers.
“S’hurting so bad, can’t do it.”
Seokjin nods into his shoulder, holding him close.
“You can, you’re doing it right now. Are you pushing?”
Jungkooks head wobbles, his arms coming up behind him to hold onto Seokjin's shoulders.
“Uh-huh, cant s-stop.”
“Okay, baby, don’t push in-between contractions okay? Even if it feels like you should. Tell me when you're getting one.”
They stand for a few minutes, Jungkook crying in-between his breaths. Seokjin wishes he knew what time it was, but knows it wouldn't make a difference anyways, babies don't stick to time plans. After a while Jungkook sucks in a deeper breath, nodding his head as he tightens his grip on Seokjin's shoulders. When he moves into a squat Seokjin moves with him, hands tight around his waist as Jungkook's head flops back to rest on his chest.
Jungkook feels like he's burning. He can feel his hyung solid behind him but everything else feels like it's moving, he's dizzy and nauseous and his body is pushing for him even when he tries to stop. His thighs are on fire from standing and crouching, even with Seokjin helping to hold him up. He wants to get down into a full squat, but knows how tight it'll feel, and he’s scared. His whole body is trembling, and he can't believe he's actually about to push a baby out of his pussy, which already feels like it's burning and the baby is only just moving into his birth canal.
A contraction hits and he deepens his squat on instinct whether he likes it or not, moaning around the pain as he feels himself open deeper, bearing down through the pain. His eyes fly open as he feels the baby shift down, stopping his push as he moves his hands down to hold Seokjin's wrists at his sides, squeezing them tight. Even though he’s stopped his push the baby doesn't stop, sinking lower and Jungkook is really panicking because holy fuck this hurts. He thought the contractions were bad, but nothing compares to this. He actively stops his body from trying to push, sucking in instead, suddenly scared out of his mind. His mouth is open and he's panting and moaning like an animal but he's stretching so much his body is going to rip in half.
He can feel Seokjin's hands moving, pushing them both into a lower squat, can feel his lips moving beside his ear but can’t hear anything apart from the ringing in his ears and his own loud crying. He looks down and sees blood on the white towel beneath him and knows that's because his baby is moving but he needs the baby to stop right now. Everything is moving too fast and he's not prepared at all.
Seokjin feels at a loss as he holds Jungkook through his tremors, the others whole body shaking in his arms. He feels Jungkook's whole body tense up as he wails at the top of his voice, completely lost in whatever his body is feeling. Seokjin takes a deep breath to will some of the worry away, knows Jungkook’s body is doing what it has to, and that he's completely safe, he just needs to calm him down. He tightens one arm around Jungkook's waist and readjusts his footing so they can both keep their balance better, rubbing his other hand up and down Jungkook's arm trying to relax him.
He’s heard about the pushing fear in the last stage of labour, and is certain Jungkook knows about it too, although he's probably not thinking too much about it right now.
“You’re okay, Kook, I’m right here nothing bad is happening, everything’s okay.”
Jungkook just cries, thrashing his head back and forward as he rides out his contraction, trying to close his legs but he can’t because of Seokjin's hold on him and the pressure in his hips. The pain slowly rolls to a stop but the burning doesn’t, he can feel the hard mass stuck in his pussy and it makes him cry harder, he just wants it out but he doesn't want to do this. He tries sucking in a deep breath and holding it, wanting to try and get his head back on track and it leaves him hiccuping, but at least he can feel Seokjin's hand now, trailing up and down his arm as he attempts to match his breathing to it, letting his arms and legs slowly relax.
“There you go, stay with me, Kook, you’re fine”
Jungkook takes another deep breath, remembering how important it is to try and stay calm and relaxed during the breaks from contractions, to keep his energy up. And also how important it is to not stress out the baby. He can’t freak out during every push, he doesn't know how long he's going to push for before the baby's head is even showing.
“Good job, you’re calm, you’re doing great.”
Jungkooks nose is running, and the shower is starting to feel like too much on his skin. He reaches a weak hand up, aiming to turn it off but Seokjin beats him to it, his ‘water off?’ met with a small nod.
Without the shower running it's quieter, more relaxed. Jungkook can hear Seokjin breathing behind him and his head feels more clear. The stinging between his legs is still there but he can breathe through it more, he feels more in control. Still, he does feel a little guilty for losing his head so much there.
“Sorry.”
It sounds little and weak and everything Jungkook promised himself he couldn't be if he was going to have this baby au natural at home. Seokjin shifts forwards, twisting his head so he can look down at the other, Jungkook winces as it jostles the baby inside of him.
“Jungkook, look at me.”
Seokjin is flushed from the strain of holding Jungkook up, his cheeks red and hair wet from the shower but he’s— he's grinning at Jungkook, his smile so wide it's taken over half of his face and all Jungkook can feel is miserable so he's a little hurt Seokjin is feeling so happy like that but—
“Jungkook,” he’s laughs, “you have nothing to be sorry for sweetheart, I’m not smiling because of the situation, well, actually I kind of am—” Jungkook frowns but Seokjin laughs again, “it's just— you're doing so amazingly, look at you! You’re having a baby!” He leans forward to smack a kiss in the middle of Jungkook's forehead. “I’m so fucking proud of you”
Oh.
Jungkook's lip wobbles as he bursts into another round of tears, and Seokjin nuzzles at the side of his face.
“Hyung I—” he whimpers, another contraction starting low in his back, the light fuzz a warning “I c-can't do it!”
Seokjin tightens his hold, shifting so he's supporting Jungkook fully under his arms,
“Yes you can. You got one coming?”
Jungkook nods pitifully, hands coming to hold tightly onto Seokjin again.
“Okay, baby, you’ve got this, chin to your chest and push when you can feel it, don’t be scared I'm right here. You’re the strongest person I know.”
Jungkook doesn't really know if he believes that, but he still listens to his hyung, tucking in his chin as the contraction reaches around his middle and tightens, sucking in a deep breath before pushing into it.
Now that he’s not panicking as much, he can feel more of what’s happening, it feels better to push into the pain than to suck away from it, but not by much. However, the only thing that's going to stop this is getting the baby out, so he’s going to have to try. He screws up his face and focuses on pushing down, gasping through the sting before taking another breath in when Seokjin taps him to remind him, trying again to shove the baby out of him.
It feels impossible, the stinging and stretching and like he has so much more of a way to go, but he can feel that his pussy is slowly opening, so he puts even more energy into it, pushes until he’s heaving for breath and his contraction has fizzled out. He still tries to push, this new frantic wave of longing washing over him until Seokjin rocks him back and forwards a few times, snapping him out of it.
“I want it out!”
“I know, but pushing through no contraction is just going to tire you out.”
Jungkook sulks back, sick of crying, looking down at where he wishes he could see his past his bump at where he can feel the head pulling back up, his efforts getting him nowhere.
“It’s not coming out!”
He starts to feel hysterical again, but another contraction quickly builds — they're nearly back to back now — so Jungkook throws his energy into that instead, pushing down until his face is on fire, moaning and crying through it until he's gasping like a fish at the end of it. Seokjin turns the shower on briefly, just to a light trickle, the shock of cold startling Jungkook but its off as quickly as it was turned on, and Seokjin helps him drink the hand full of water he’s gathered in his palm, Jungkook's ice chips too far away.
They go through a few more pushes, the breaks ranging from short to back to back in between and Jungkook is exhausted but he can finally feel himself getting somewhere, his pussy staying open now, the head not sinking back in. On a push where it feels like he’s been lit up with fire, Seokjin guides one of his hands down, asking, “Jungkook, can you feel your baby?” and he can, can feel the head bulging out beneath his fingers and cries through swollen eyes as he feels it move under his hand as he pushes.
Seokjin shifts up behind him to peer down, standing up a little with his hands under Jungkook's arms but he can’t see that well, just the slight gaping of Jungkook's pussy lips and his little fingers covering over them.
“Jungkook, do you want to get on your hands and knees so I can see the baby properly? Or if it’s better like this you can stay, but it might be a good idea for me to have my hands.”
Jungkook chokes on a mouth full of air as he pushes through the rest of the contraction feeling the head move under his hand. His throat burns but it's nothing compared to the skin around his hole, slowly stretching to let his baby out. The strain there feels impossible, and Jungkook has to force himself to lower himself onto his knees, staying upright but he has his own balance now. Seokjin helps him spread his legs more and he yelps, the skin taut. Seokjin disappears for a moment, but comes back with a cold flannel, pressing it to Jungkooks perineum and before feeding him some of the water from the melted ice chips. Jungkook sags forward in relief, hands back on the tile in front of him.
“Stay.”
“I’m staying right here, does this feel good?”
All he gets in response is a wordless nod. Seokjin keeps the flannel pressed close while he reaches around for his phone, wiping his hand on the closet driest towel before picking it up, finally shining it where he’s been dying to see.
Jungkooks pussy is swollen and stretched around the head impossibly tight, a layer of coarse black hair showing through the gap.
“Oh Kook, I can see the baby, they have hair!”
Jungkook hums, crunching on a lone surviving ice chip before bending over slightly, grunting.
The contraction is amazing to watch, as Jungkook pushes the head shows more, his pussy opening and stretching. Seokjin is in awe. For a second Jungkook seems to freeze, his moan gargling into a scream before suddenly the skin pulls back and half the head is out, fluid rushing down Jungkooks legs as he sobs. Seokjin drops his phone, no longer caring where it lands, as long as he has light.
“Jungkook! You’re so good, the head is nearly out!”
Jungkook wails again, his head pressed down to the towels as he squirms, trying to get away from the pain. He screams, feeling the worst pain he’s ever felt in his life. He pushes with an amount of strength he didn't know he possessed, only stopping when Seokjin reaches down to squeeze at his shoulders, his voice finally breaking through the haze.
“Jungkook, stop pushing! Just breathe. You don't want to tear, okay? Little pushes, let your body do the work.”
He can't stop, he wants it, no— needs it out. He screams again. Forces himself to pant and stop pushing, bites the towel underneath him with his jaw clenched tight and just tries to hold on.
“Good boy, good boy, Kook, that’s it. You’re so close.”
It feels like the pain is never going to leave his body, he can feel the head lodged between his legs, his pussy pulled open so wide he can't breathe, can't think. He arches his back, tossing and turning until there's a burst of pressure and Seokjin is saying something but he doesn't care, doesn't care about anything but pushing but there's no more contraction, and a lot less pressure. He heaves in a breath and tries not to be sick on himself. He feels Seokjin's hand move up his thigh and jerks back from the feeling.
“Don't touch!”
Seokjin gently strokes over his back instead, the other hand still pressing the flannel against him.
“I'm not touching sweetheart, you're getting them out all by yourself.”
Jungkook stays completely still for a second, marvelling in the slight rest his body has seemed to decide he can have. He can feel Seokjin’s hand moving between his thighs again but realises he’s just checking for the cord when he feels the sting of Seokjin’s fingers, but it’s over quickly. There's a lump between his legs and— that’s his baby. The heads out. That’s his baby. The head is out.
“The head is out.”
“Yeah, sweetheart, the head is out. They’re face up, I can see them!”
“Cord.”
“No cord, baby, I just checked. Everything is safe. Just a few more pushes and they'll be here.”
“Towel.”
“I have a clean towel right here, don't worry.”
Jungkook can’t feel his face as the last contraction wraps around him, it feels like a band is squeezing him tight and everything is heightened as he feels himself being stretched once more, he thinks he calls out but he's not sure, the towel is between his teeth again and the contraction doesn't seem to stop, reaching a peak before—
Crying. The burn disappears. Jungkook open-mouth sobs in relief. Seokjin is crying behind him, big happy tears before he helps Jungkook turn over, laying the baby on his chest before rushing to cover the both of them in clean towels.
“Jungkookie,” Seokjin whispers, his voice lilting over the high pitched cries, “we have a baby girl.”