Chapter Text
“I don’t want to die.”
He really doesn’t but what other choice does he have now?
After all, he dragged himself into this mess, didn’t he? Now he has to pay the price.
If all goes well he’ll be gone and the yilling patriarch, after he finishes Mo Xuanyu’s revenge, will roam free once again(, that is going to be none of his problem, he won’t exist anymore-,).
Ah, he feels a bit guilty for dragging his senior into the mess of his life now that he thinks of it. He supposes that it can’t be helped, he has always been a parasite to everything in his life but so what? He, he just doesn’t care anymore. Nothing that he thinks or does will matter after this.
He has already set up all of the talismans. Now onto the array, now that’s gonna be tricky. He just hopes he doesn’t pass out from blood loss and mess up all of his hard work.
It’s okay, it’s okay, just stick to the plan Xuanyu. It’s alright Xuanyu, you know what you need to do,
Just do what you planned to do. Do think, you know what you are supposed to do, just stick to the godsdamn plan-.
Alright, alright, take the knife Xuanyu, four cuts, you do four cuts and think of who you want dead.
Four cuts, A-yu, four. But maybe he can-. Just four Xuanyu, we talked about this, you know who you actually want dead, so stop and just do it before you actually manage to change your mind-.
Ah, thought Mo Xuanyu, even my own thoughts deem me useless and think me worthless.
Right, right,
Three cuts for the Mo family, one for his aunt, one for his cousin, and one for his uncle.
He knows that they deserve to die, they are the reason of his torment, and he doesn’t feel remorse for sending them to their deaths.
Alright A-Yu, you do this just one more cut-.
But he can’t, his hands are still shaking, Xuanyu is still afraid of him.
He has to calm down or he’ll mess everything up-.
Okay, okay, he waited a bit, and now his hands aren’t shaking as much.
Inhale. Exhale.
Fouth cuts, the final cut, for-, for his half-brother, Jin Guangyao.
Inhale. Exhale.
It’s time, now or never.
“My name is Mo Xuanyu.
My mother was born from a concubine of the Mo clan. Having recieved fancy of a cultivation sect, she gave birth to me when she was sixteen.
I was accepted into cultivation when I was fourteen. Yet..due to poor aptitude and other worldly matters, I was send back home.
Since then, mother and I have been humiliated by the entire Mo clan. Notwithstanding the disgrace, mother passsed away.
I, Xuanyu, am left with nobody by my side.
But I beg for the rebirth of your sinister spirit, to help grant my long-cherished wish.
I will use my flesh as a lure, in sacrifice for your spirit, my soul as compensation, to return to the earth.
Here I summon the sinister ghoul-
YILING PATRIARCH
WEI WUXIAN!”
In a split second his soul is teared up, he can feel unbearable pain in his whole body, and yet he can’t feel anything.
Is- is this what death feels like?
…
…
…
...
“Back come souls. None gone to the ghost realm.”
…
...
...
…
Did he manage to do it? He doesn’t know, he doesn’t care. He’s dead now, at least he’s supposed to be. But if he’s dead, how’s he even thinking about this-?
…
…
It’s cold here, cold you feel when you are empty inside when you don’t feel anything- Wait, is he feeling cold or just numb? Is he feeling anything at all?
…
…
…
If this is Diyu, then it’s much different than what he was taught.Or maybe he just ended up in the void, who knows at this point?It wouldn’t be surprising considering that he, he, he-he did something that escapes his mind that is probably the reason that he is not currently in the realm of dead or that reincarnated, that is the reason that he is stuck here-!
…
…
He can not see anything, it's not the type of not seeing that you have when you close your eyes, or is it? He’s been here for so long that he forgot- Is this truly what nothingness is? Wait, do blind people see like this? Did he become blind or-? Point is he can’t see anything.
But that is alright. He can’t hear anything either, or feel, at least he thinks so.
…
…
“Nee …, do you know what it takes to break a human soul?”
...
...
He starts to think that he doesn’t have a physical form. He doesn’t feel real.
He realized that he doesn’t get tired or hungry or anything else that body needs to function. It’s weird but not unpleasant as one would think.
...
Maybe he went insane-,but everybody already knows that you are a lunatic, why keep denying it when you know that, you did summon him, that’s proof of your lunacy, so just make peace with it-but he keeps thinking that he is actually seeing something, some blurry structures, some smudged paint of purple and blue and white and- Colors, o many colors are there all of sudden. Sometimes he sees humanoid figures, sometimes he thinks that they are talking to him, he doesn't know then-, at least he thinkshat he doesn’t know them-, but it is nice that they are around, even if they are probably only fragments on his imagination, it’s nice to have some company.
And he sometimes hears things, whispers, so many godsdamn whispers, in a launguage that he doesn’t fucking understand. Sometimes it feels like someone is talking to him but he doesn’t hear anything. Sometimes there are too many voices screaming at him, and sometimes while they are screaming, he, he, he just isn’t hearing anything.
He still doesn’t know what to think of them. He still doesn’t what to think of any of this.
…
…
“Of course, of course, souls are not a fragile thing like minds, but under certain circumstances, they can break and-"
…
...
There's a figure that he sees more often than others. A small figure, a small blur of white, black, and green? At least he thinks it’s green, he doesn’t know,¸¸ that figure is confusing. It talks to him sometimes, he isn’t hearing what it is saying but he somehow knows that it’s saying something to him.
One time it tried to give him some red thing, some glowing red thing, he-, he doesn’t remember what happened then, he thinks that he denied, but-. But, he just can’t remember, for love of Heavens, he can’t remember-.It just stopped visiting him after that. That, that makes him sad. He lost the only thing that he could call familiar presence.
It, it doesn’t matter now, nothing matters now, anymore, nothing, NOTHING-.
It’s just unfortunate, that’s all. He’s fine. (He’s not. He’s not fine at all-.)
(Why did he even think that it won’t leave him, did he really think that that person will stay with him? Nobody ever stayed for him, everyone would leave him, because he was a stupid, dirty, useless human undeserving of kindness-.
Everyone left, his father, his family at-, his brother, his friends at-, at-, at-at Landling (WhAt’S LAndLiNG, aNd WhY dOeSn’T hE wAnT To ReMeMbEr aNYThiNG aBoUT iT-), his mother, his mother’s familly at-, Mo Village-, (SHUT UP, HE DOESN’T WANT TO REMEMBER-), he just, he is just used to it by now.)
( It was just nice to have someone be here with him, in this place, is it even a place tho-?, but good things never last, not to him, never to him.)
…
“Child, would you like to live again?”
…
He is starting to see more clearly these days. He can see structure in form of cubes that are surrounding him, he can see the blue of the sky and he can see all of the pretty flowers (, what are flowers even doing here?).
Voices have calmed down too, mostly, so that’s a bonus. He still doesn’t understand them, but that’s alright, he has grown used to them, after that person left it’s nice to have something familiar after it left him alone. He has also managed to realize that some voices are actually speaking multiple languages at once. There can also be heard Chinese in there, so he may actually understand what they are saying in the future. And he may be able to make conversation in the future. At this point he doesn’t care if they are his hallucinations or not, he’s actually going to have someone to talk to. His social skills were horrible when he was alive, but they are going to be stuck here for a lot of time, eternity maybe, probably, and they have already been with him for a long time, so, they are stuck with him whether they like it or not-.
It’s peaceful here, he likes it here. If this is his afterlife, he’s alright with him. It’s...nice. It feels like a home. He would like to stay here? He’s happy here?? (He doesn’t remember why he’s happy about being in this place, is it because he did and he’s dead, and he doesn’t have to live in that horrible place anymore? He doesn’t know, he doesn’t, he doesn’t, he can’t remember aNYTHING-)
It’s peaceful here, it’s a nice afterlife after all.
(He is trying to ignore the feeling that’s telling him that it’s too peaceful. Trying to ignore the fact that it’s so peaceful that it’s disturbing.)
…
..
.
He starts seeing monsters. (Maybe they were there before, but, he sighs, he doesn’t remember.)
Or maybe they are demons. Who knows. He for a certain fact knows that he doesn’t.
He, he is really starting to annoy himself with his not knowing.
GET A GRIP ALREADY-, ah, he doesn’t remember his name either-.
.
.
.
.
Some demonsters look familiar, like something someone told him about. He eventually remembers that his A-Niang used to tell him stories about. Some look like mogwai, he avoids those. He thinks that he sees yaoguai. And sometimes he sees monsters from old fairy tales his mother and someone else he doesn’t remember used to tell him. He’s glad they ignore him so that he can continue to exist (is he really only existing?).
There are other life forms, but he doesn’t recognize those. But it’s alright, they too, usually leave him alone. At the times they do notice him, well, let’s just say that he considers himself lucky that he is only a spirit now. (When did he come to terms that only his soul is left-?)
..
..
..
..
Eventually, he is back in that eternal darkness. Voices left along with colors and doesn’t blame them in the slightest. It’s just that he’s lonely again, and it’s again so so cold. He feels numb again.
t’s not fair. Why is he always the one to suffer, why does he always get the short end of the stick? Why does everybody leave him? WhY DoeS EveRyBoDy hAte HiM-?
WHY
WHY
WHY
WHY
WHY
WHy-
.
.
.
He is hearing a voice. He doesn’t understand a thing it’s saying, but, but he knows that he will be safe there, he knows. For first time since his death, he knows, he knows something.
“..., Come child, …, you shall be given a new life,…, ..Yu-, return to the world of living-, … Let yourself live-…"
He sees the light, and then he sees a hand outstretched to him. This time, he wants to take it, unlike the first time something was offered to him in this place, he wants to take this, this is his chance for, for, for something.
He takes the hand, and then he’s pulled into that blinding light.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
21st day of the Seventh Month of the 2978 year post-Archon war
If you asked Raiden Ayiko what he thought of Custia, he would tell you that she is an annoying acquaintance, who he wishes he has never met.
'Honestly, what was she thinking inviting him here, to the outher realm', thought Ayiko, the outher realm is at the point what one would call prison of things lost in between worlds, 'so, a multiverse's trash can'. Don't get him wrong, he does hate the Outher realm unconditionally, but he despises Custia even more. 'One would think that she would get the message and realize that their alliance was a one-time thing and it was made in heat of moment against the common enemy, the whole enemy of my enemy is my friend type of nonsense.’
What a disgusting place the Outer realm is. To even get there, you have to When you pass through that unsavory mirror you’ll find yourself on a meadow surrounded by grim-looking woods. The sky would be gray with far and few black clouds floating in a distance. In the meadow’s dying grass you would be able to find a couple of red spider lilies and chrysanthemum. And trees would, By some miracle, be alive, even if they turned gray for some reason. It's none his Business anyway, how she rules her realm nor what happens in it.
Ayiko has been walking for hours now. Another reason to hate Custia for. The forest seems to have a mind of its own, despite Custia claiming otherwise. The trees keep moving when they aren't looked at. The path changes every time he comes here. He thought that Custia would take a hint and when she actually needs him for something, would welcome him somewhere at entry. ' Considering the fact, Celestia would strike her down if she even dared to set a foot into Teyvat.' Ayiko sighed, 'though it is not surprising with all that happened back then.' But nonetheless, he will strangle her one of these days for the phooey she subjects him to, maybe, probably.
Ayiko sighs for an indefinite time since coming to the Outher realm and continues to follow that wrecked path. 'The forest is quiet today.' Ayiko thought perplexed, 'by now screams of tormented Souls should have been heard. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen any poor humans cursed by Limos', sigh, ' What exactly have you done this time Custia?'.
After a while, he reached a lake.Finally, some sign that he was close. just needed to get to the island in the middle and he can get this over with. Looking around the shore, Ayiko saw a tiny boat couple of meters away in the water. The boat looked like it saw better days, its paint was mostly peeled off, the gray and brown shades of colors smudged into a picture of something ancient that could collapse at any moment. But if it hasn't done that until now, it should now either, probably.
Taking the hem of his robes, making sure that they don't get soaked, he started making his way through the water to the boat.
Custia,being a provocateur she is, just had to decide to reside on an island in the middle of that lake. If she really ruled this realm, she could have chosen any location to be her domain. But she is afraid, she's afraid of something n the forest. At least, that's the most reasonable explanation Ayiko managed to come up with. Even before she was unofficially banished from Teyvat, she was known to visit the Outher realm. Nobody knows what she did there or who did she meet. Or anything of sorts. The only thing that is known is that her going there was the beginning of her downfall.
Ayiko sighed, it's Not that it Isn't partly his fault that things are the way they are right now, it's Just that Custia Got the short end of the Stick and He managed to Get away with only light tap on the fingers,per se. None of that matters now though. They all made those decisions on their own accord, so they have no right to complain. And while he doesn't want to admit it, it's part of the past now and they have to deal with the consequences of their actions.
Seeing that he's made it to the shore, he pulled himself out of his musings and started to calm himself. Custia was his (former) ally, he had to at least try and get along with her. She is unrepeatable and all, but she did call on urgent notice, so it should be important. Right? Ayiko can just hope so, considering that when the word is about Custia, nothing surprises him anymore. She couldn't have done anything that horrible.
Either way, he’s going to need a smoke, or eight, after this.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ayiko, takes back all that he said before. She is still as insane as she was years ago.
Custia, the insane goddess from a fallen kingdom, was still as irrational about her ideas when he first met her.
There on a makeshift throne made out of Bones and marble. (Where and how did she find that marble anyway? This place is a wasteland!),
And of course, she was giggling like a madman. ' She did something that I'm going to need to clean up, again', he thought irritated.
„Please“ a giggle, “don't step on“, another giggle, „my Dendrobiums,“ another giggle, it took me 15 years to adapt their roots to the soil here“, spoke Custia for the first time since Ayiko came.
„They grow where the blood is spilled, the fact that they do not grow is your fault entirely, and besides how am I not to step on them?They cover the whole ground“ Ayiko said actually said annoyed, „Furthermore, please tell me you didn't invite me here just to look at your garden.“
And right on cue, Custia started laughing like a madman. Started trashing around. That sound of creaking Bones, „Stop it you sound like your skeleton is trying to crawl out of your body.“ It never gets any less disturbing.
„Right, right“, Custia said trying to subdue her laughter.“Whatever you say, lord Raiden.“
The said lord just stood there in silence, waiting for the undead to stop laughing.
After some time she did stop, but she stayed silent and stared at Ayiko as he did her. Not a sound could be heard during their staring contest. Until Custia started talking.
„Are you angry I called you on such short notice?“
„It would be an understatement.“
A chuckle. „My, my, you know that I can always come to see you at your home if it's so inconvenient for you to come here. Right?“
„You should know that if I see you anywhere near estate I will actually shoot you. And I'll try to make it right in between eyes.“
Custia laughed once again. „At least get the once that can kill me this time around, please. Last time it took me 3 months to grow that tissue back.“ The whitehaired girl said while rubbing the middle of her forehead.
Ayiko sighed, he had enough of this. „Why did you even request my presence..?“ At that Custia looked like she remembered something. „ohhh, I didn't tell you, did I?“, she said sounding sheepish. Then she laughed again and said; „Ehh, it is easier to show you anyhow.“ Just as she said that in her hand apeared a red gemstone which was glowimg omniouly, in her hand. „You rememeber this lil' buddy, right?“, Custia said, refering to now floating rock.
Ayiko's eyebrown nawored,
she didn't-. „Custia, you did not-.“
"I did“, Custia said way too smug.
„You really are trying to get us killed“, Ayiko said mortrified.
„No, not really~“, 'the little girl' said in a Song-Song voice.
Having said that,Custia started staring with her ever-present unnatural smile on her lips. Her interlocutor glared at her and said, „If planning your downfall like your nation, why drag me into this?“
For first time since this conversation started, Custia stopped smiling, a frown that goes well with her permanently fish-dead eyes appered on her face. „I misscalculad-, Όχι, I overestemated power a core without a Herrscher. While it is still able to bring back the Dead, it's powers are still unstable. It cannot do everything it could before it cracked. So, a minor inconvience happened while i was trying to do some, resurecting.
„I'm going to assume, the ressorecion went astray?“, the Younger man said with a raised eyebrow.
Custia sighed, „I suppose you could say that.“
„Well? Are you going to get to the point or not? I do not have whoče day to play interigation with you.“
„Yess, but you are going to get anrgy at me, agiannn“, Custia whined.
„Why dId you even call me then?“, Ayiko said becoming again once again.
„wellll“, Custia said dragging out sylimles, „I have tryed fixing souls i found in sea of Quanta“, said she nonchalantly.
„And I managed to fix one“, she said way to happy to be genuine.
„Hold on, you did what-„
„ButThereWasn'tEnoughOfSaidSoulToMakeABeingInOGFormSoIPastedItTogetherWithHonkaiEnergyButHonakiIsJustAGlue“, Custia said in one breath, „So yeah, I have now a kid around 7 I think, around the Island“,Custia deadpanned.
„You created a child that is now running around your cursed realm?!", Ayiko whisper-yelled in Horror.
„First of all, it Isn't my child so I don't care. Second of all, He's on my island nothing is Gonna kill him I mean unless he trips and dies or eats those Dendrobiums, oh shit I forgot humans need to eat to survive, you know what“,
„YUYU, COME BACK HERE“, Custia screamed on top of her lungs, Ayiko didnt react to that because he was to stunned to properly process this situation.
A small child with black hair and grayish purple eyes emarged from forest. The child looked in Custia's direction and then noticed Ayiko and waved in his direction.
Ayiko finally, getting over internal shock, blicked in child's direction and then looked in Custia's.
„Custia…“ „Ayiko!“
Ayiko sighed, „Please tell me you aren't asking what I think you are thinking…“, Ayiko said in despair.
„Yep,I'm asking you to adopt him! The other Option is him staying here and we both know that's bullshit.“
Ayiko knew this was going to be a mess,
but not this big.
„Don't worry though~“, Custia said too Happy, „his soul didn't have that much fragments to remember his past life. And,and, you can say that you found a Survivor from a branch family and decided to adopt him, after all Inazumian couldn't apose shit the Raiden clan says. So , you can do that without any limitations. And for a bonus, when your time comes, you'll have someone to run the clan, considering that your sisters and whatever-that-harbringer-is-to-you can't.“
„Well, when
your time comes, you'll make a fine a fine crossroads demon.“
Custia laughted once again, „hahajahqjqjqjqjqj, you are adorable. So, do we have a Deal?“
Ayiko looked defeated while he said, „Another deal with a devil i suppose.“
„Also, he doesn't know any launguage besides Liyuen.“
"Custia-".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It’s all going to turn out just fine. He won’t worry. It’ll all-
“Ayiko, why do yOU HAVE A TODDLER IN YOUR GRASP?!”, passively-aggressively screeched a female voice. ‘Or maybe not.’, thought Ayiko almost depressively.
“My my, I know he looks a bit young, but I assure you, he’s beyond the age one is considered a toddler.”, Ayiko said calmly. If he manages to calm her down and explain everything to her, she’ll help, probably. Knowing her she’ll either help or just stare at him blankly with her dead-fish eyes for a handful of minutes and then proclaim that she doesn’t associate with lunatics and exclaim to never contact her again.
“TODDLER OR NOT TODDLER, THE FACT THAT YOU KIDNAPED A FUCKING CHILD STILL STANDS.”, Yuna exclaimed angrily, it would be endearing if she wasn’t yelling at him in the early hours of the morning in front of the front gates of their estate.
“Yuuna please retain yourself from cursing in front of said child. Ane-Ue and I haven’t cursed in front of you while you were a child, or ever for that matter. Honestly, where did you even learn such language.”, Ayiko said calmly. The main objective now was to calm her down. Then he’ll think about the future. Forget smoking, he’ll need a drink after this, a strong one at that. ayiko mentally sighs. ‘ The last time I was at wine cellar was 15ish years ago? Ahh, I can only hope Kawakawi-san kept that in order.’
“You know damn well that I-”, Yuuna started but suddenly cut herself off. Ah, she probably figured out what I was trying to do, thought Ayiko. Yunna stayed quiet for a couple of seconds and suddenly her face turned the same red colour that she turned every time she was angry during her childhood. ‘At least some of the traits she had before are still there. If she wasn’t about to yell at me, I’ve would have probably mentioned that to her... Wait for a-’ Ayiko's train of thought was interrupted by Yuuna once again yelling. „OJ, STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT.“, Yuuna yelled, „ I'm not eight anymore, it's not gonna work this time. So spill, what is this child doing here.“ She seemed almost calm now. She's going to understand, she's grown up. She can control her weird emotional outbursts now. That's only a side effect of the abyss, a small part of his mind giggled.
Ayiko sighed for the first time out of his mind today out loud. „It seems little Yuuna“, Yunna at being called a little Yuuna visibly flinched, „has finally grown up beyond the point where she can be tricked like that, I suppose“, Ayiko said softly. „I do not appreciate being called little, brother, especially considering you are only 7 years older than me and we are not considered mortals anymore“, Yunna interjected before Ayiko can continue.
„Maybe one day I will, but in meantime, you'll be little Yuuna to me.“
„Yeah, yeah, no matter how many times I tell you not to, you continue to do as you please. Can't make you do shit. So, are you going to explain why you have this brat here, or am I supposed to pinpoint the timeline myself and 'make narrative based on my own bias' as you people keep saying I do? “
“I suppose you are. Fine, but walk with me. The garden looks lovely during the nighttime. I’ll explain everything to you.” And then he finally started walking through the gates into the garden with the child still in his arms. Yuuna, still fuming, followed a step behind, after they closed the said gate.
And so, he started explaining the story from the beginning to her. For a long time, she didn't frown as much as she did at those moments. He had known that she knew about, well everything concerning the matter of Custia and related, even if she wasn’t even in Teyvat during that time.
‘At least I met this sister today instead of the other one. Now I have time to think of a convincing lie before I meet up with Ane-Ue', thought Ayiko.
“Ugh, now I feel like I’m an accomplice and am obliged to help you with covering up the truth”, Yuuna now sounded wear. “Great, another thing to add to my list of crimes again heaven”, a young violet-haired woman mumbled almost inaudibly.
Hearing that Ayiko just smiled sadly.
And so, they both thought at the same time; this is going to end up a giant mess.