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Utahime knew how vain her wish was. To know him better, see his pain, things he kept hidden under a sly grin. Gojo Satoru wasn’t an intimate man, most of the time. He was touchy, shameless, maddening. He could be honest when he wanted to, but those moments were rare, and they didn’t contain anything other than his plans for changing the current jujutsu world’s power dynamic or knowledge over some other curse users.
Some nights she would wake up to the sounds of him snoring into her left ear. That side of the bed was his, not by choice but simply because she preferred the right and he was fine with whatever therefore leaving her left ear to persistent torture. Irritation over waking up to that would quickly fade away when the realization of him sleeping peacefully in their bed hit Utahime like a bug crashing into the windshield of the car. At first, she thought all the sugary things he ate during the day was keeping him up, too much energy in his body to fall asleep.
But later when they were watching a movie, his hand in her hair, hers wandering on the veins under the delicate skin of his arm, and the main character was crying about her weird sleep schedule he said “I had the same issue since I was a child, but you don’t see me whining. Aaah Hime I’m so easy going right?”. His lack of sleep made a lot of sense at that moment. A tiny kid, with immense powers and six eyes, seeing and feeling too much for his own good. After that, she tried to find ways to decrease the unnecessary stimuli in the bedroom. All blackout curtains that would literally blind her somehow made it easier for him to feel comfortable.
Little moments they shared felt more intimate each day, maybe more revealing. He would smile with a shade of red creeping into his cheeks when she’d compliment his very basic cooking skills, she loved how he’d threw his knowledge over very trivial things, like how fast cheetahs could run or how lions couldn’t climb trees like leopards.
She’d find it endearing, how he knew and remembered things like that. When he didn’t want to talk about anything, he would talk about wild animals all the while resembling a little child with curiosity in his eyes and Utahime would listen to him, holding her hand to her cheek, eyes filled with adoration. It was something he would tease her about if it was a normal day, as in when he was the all-powerful Gojo Satoru, the honoured one.
But occasionally, he’d remember that he also is a human being with a heart. He’s Satoru with his own regrets and losses. He would talk about animals and the things he found fascinating about them more those days. It started to happen more often after the Kyoto Sister School Event. Utahime knew the boy was alive and what Gojo was planning to do with him. So, it wasn’t a surprise for her. Yet something was wrong, and he was getting quieter as the days passed. Utahime wanted to talk to him about it, but he was usually unreceptive, fled the conversation by talking about something else.
Tonight, was one of those rare nights where he was sound asleep even though there was a little bit of warm light creeping into the room. She sighed, blinking a couple of times hearing his loud snoring, lifting her hand from his chest she started to caress his unruly hair above his forehead. She thought his hair looked funny most of the time. The way it would stick to the air when he had his blindfold on and how it would fall apart, stick to his face when he took it off. He was cute like this. Innocent, pristine and unaware. The thought of him being pure made her laugh a bit loud which woke him up. He shook his head like a puppy then looked into her eyes, his heaven blues boring into hers, they looked less intimidating in this low light, observing her smile calmly.
“Aah Hime, I know how lucky you feel to have me in your bed, but couldn’t you let me sleep a bit more. I’m exhausted after how you used me a couple of hours ago. You ungodly woman!” he tried to sound offended but his grin made it impossible to do so. How he found the energy to tease and make fun of her right after he woke up baffled Utahime. Her soft gaze now turned into a fake scowl. “I was having a moment, trying to love you but nevermind. You look like an upside-down goat with your hair all messy like that.”
She turned her back to him, trying to free herself from his arms which he didn’t allow. Gojo scooted over to her in bed, leaned right into her ear and said, in a serious, husky tone “That makes you a goat fucker Utahime Senpai.” She gasped. Utahime was waiting for him to feign sadness and talk about how handsome, amazing, powerful, and cute he was. Not this. Nothing like this. He had the courage to call her senpai too. Dumbass…
She couldn’t think of anything to say so she laughed harder, with him being awake she didn’t have to hold her voice down. Gojo turned her back to the bed and climbed on top of her, his feet dangling off the end of the bed. Head on her chest, one hand on her side and the other holding her hand. She was kind of buried with his weight, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. She loved being toasted like this, though she’d never admit it. “I honestly wasn’t expecting that dummy.” she said, voice soft, smile on her face. He snuggled up into her neck, his smile evident from his tone. He chuckled. “I know, I am unpredictable like that. Which is very charming don’t you think? You don’t have to answer Utahime, I already know but I would like to hear your thoughts now that you woke me up with your annoying voice.”
She started playing with his hair near the back of his head She knew playing with that spot made him sleepier than usual. He was tired yet she was keeping him up. Some feeling akin to guilt swelled up in her heart. Voice toned down, somewhat grave, “I know you’re tired Satoru. And I know some things are wearing you down and you don’t want to talk about it with me or maybe anyone else, but I want to be there for you, for anything. I mean it. Whenever you want to. You don’t have to carry all those responsibilities on your own. You know being the strongest doesn’t mean you have to be alone you jackass.” Her tone was back to being soft and fluffy by the end and he sighed, content. A couple of minutes passed with silence. Gojo was playing with her fingers, she was still playing with his hair, kissing the top of his head lightly when she felt like it.
“There are things I want to change, you know. Something is going on and I’m not sure if we’re ready to face that. I don’t know what that is, but it feels like the balance of this world changed greatly when Itadori became Sukuna’s vessel. There are unregistered special grade curses. Higher-ups are still fucking with people like they’re just toys.” He stopped, pressing a tight kiss to her neck. “I don’t want to make any mistakes, like the ones before.” He was talking about Star Plasma Vessel Mission. Utahime felt him tense above her, hands slightly clasped. She knew it was hard for him to open up like that, she decided not to press harder.
Utahime caressed the back of his hand with her thumb, held him tighter into her, kissed the top of his head again then reached for his forehead. He laughed, lifting himself from her body he moved upwards, resting his forearms on the sides of her head. Looking directly into her eyes, gaze soft and intimate, warmth radiating from their naked bodies, a genuine smile on his lips. “Did you know that otters hold each other’s hands when they sleep so that they won’t be separated by the tides.” He softly bites the soft flesh of her left cheek then presses an annoyingly wet kiss there. She’s sure he licked his lips just for the fun of it, yet she still laughs and holds both of his hands. “Should we do the same? To not lose each other.” She asks reaching to kiss his lips, he follows. “You don’t need to find excuses to hold my gracious hands Utahime” nearly singing her name.
She doesn’t answer, too busy peppering kisses in between frowns. He goes back to his previous position, face buried in her neck, one hand on her shoulder, other on her tummy, which shocked Utahime because he would never miss a chance to squeeze her boobs just to make her shout at him. But tonight, is an unusual night. And for the first time in a while Utahime feels hopeful that she can share his burdens, make him feel better. She moves her left hand to his shoulder and puts the other on top of his, to hold each other. Making sure they won’t be separated by the tides. Sleep finds its way into their bodies. Before he drifts, he lazily opens his mouth after kissing her chin, voice muffled but still comprehensible
“I’m happy here Hime. I know we won’t lose each other.”