Chapter 1: The Isekai Genre | A Whole New World - Scott The Woz
Chapter Text
"Scott."
Guh… what?
"C'mon, this our stop."
Someone was talking to him. Who the heck was trying to wake him up?
Whuh? God, what time is it …
A digital-sounding woman's voice joined in.
"Now stopping at, Shibuya. Shibuya. Doors will open on the left."
Scott Wozniak opened his eyes.
This wasn't his room.
This wasn't anywhere else in his apartment, either.
He blinked slowly, trying to get a sense of things through his grogginess. The guy who woke him up sat to his right, holding onto one of the poles as the train they were apparently in slowed to a stop.
"How… did I get here?" He managed.
Scott was f*cked. Completely and utterly f*cked.
He had no idea how it happened, but he went to bed last night in Ohio, just to wake up on a train in goddamn Tokyo . The guy he'd sorta been bewilderedly following the whole day seemed to know him, or at least be acquainted with him. Scott did admit he looked a little familiar, but he just… couldn't place where from. He was apparently going to go to high school at Shujin Academy, despite not only having a diploma already, but an entire degree.
Yeah, Scott did realize in hindsight that going into fishy names had ended up being pretty limiting (not that he really wanted to have a career outside of rambling about stupid Nintendo games anyways), but this was a bit much.
He was so shocked by the situation unfolding around him that it took him the whole day to finally get himself together enough to comment on it. He sat on the futon in the attic of a tiny cafe, his new roomate, Ren Amamiya, trying to make the room a bit less like the state of his Glover room, when it finally happened.
"What the f*ck was that?!"
He'd been able to pick up the bare minimum of context throughout the day, but the question still stood. From what he could tell, Ren and Scott (as in Scott Will-Eventually-Take-A-Look-At-The-First-Mega-Man Wozniak (working title), not some other Scott they somehow mixed him up with, which only confused him even more) independently tried to intervene when they saw a woman being harassed, only for the drunk asshole to trip and wrongfully sue them both for assault back in their hometown, which was, by the way, not in Ohio.
Yeah, Scott didn't remember doing any of that. Not here, not where he actually lived, or anywhere else, for that matter. Scott had some weird experiences in his life before now, like saving an entire alternate timeline from sports game oppression and going to space on a rocket made of Wii shovelware to fight a blue rectangle that he ended up continuing to deal with anyways, but this… this was a totally different beast.
So when Scott had exclaimed, "what the f*ck was that," it was a pretty big question. Ren hadn’t said much the whole day either, and it wasn’t like he was expecting a truly enlightening answer, but he said only one word in response.
“Mood.”
Scott didn’t know how to respond to that, either. So he didn’t. He wasn’t the quiet type by any means, but what are you supposed to say in a situation like this?
God, all this… stuff was tiring him out. F*ck it, he’d figure this out in the morning. Try and explain that ‘hey, I dunno how you didn’t notice, but I’m not exactly a high schooler.’ But for now, he claimed the top bunk and gave up on trying to figure sh*t out for the night. After the day he just had, it didn’t take long to fall asleep.
Scott jolted awake to the sound of a soft piano tune. The room around him was tiny, and every inch of the walls and ceiling were upholstered with a fine blue velvet. It was one hell of a contrast compared to the crappy bed he was on, a rusty cart in one of the corners, and most notably, the cell door on the one wall that wasn’t totally blue.
“Rise and shiiine…” Came an irritatingly smug voice.
Not again…
For the second time in a row, Scott had fallen asleep in one place only to be somewhere completely different by the time he was awake. Was this just something that happened to him now? Not only that, but the shade of the blue surrounding him on every wall was just like the shade of the border surrounding his peripheral vision. It almost felt like the room itself was mocking him.
Because that’s just what he needed right now.
“Hey. Scott. I’m talking to you.” The same voice said, its smugness replaced with just plain irritation.
It was coming from beyond the cell door behind him. He made himself sit up, hearing the clanking of metal chains as he did. Because that might as well happen at this point. Scott squinted, trying to make out the figure behind the desk(?) in the room beyond the cell.
They sighed. “Glasses are on the cart.”
After fumbling for a second, he finally got a good look at the voice’s owner, and-
Oh God not her again.
There, at the desk in the center of another room that was just as infuriatingly blue as the cell, was none other than Dr. Anna May.
She smirked, clearly seeing that Scott recognized her.
“Welcome to the velvet room.” Anna said in a half-assed impression of… Morgan Freeman? Batman? Too half-assed to tell, really.
“Wow. Couldn’t have thought of a name like that in a million years.” Scott deadpanned back. “What do you want? I’ve kinda got a lot on my plate already.”
Anna rolled her eyes. “And who do you think put all of it on your plate in the first place?”
“I dunno, I was sorta thinking God had finally had enough of my bullsh*t.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, dumbass. It was me. The situation you’re in is because of me.”
“YOU?!” Scott sent an incredulous point towards Anna, more metallic clanking sounding out as he did.
“Yes, me! Who else was going to show you the beauty of the masterpiece that is Persona 5?!”
Scott returned a blank stare at that.
“You know, Persona 5? Joker in Smash Bros. is from it? The closest thing to divinity the PS3 and PS4 can run?”
“...Joker’s the one with a gun, right?”
Anna groaned. “Look, I’ve put you into the world of Persona 5. I’ve backed off on your other transgressions after you had proven your worth in combat. But this isn’t just an anime-themed video game.”
“Proven my- what?” She didn’t hear Scott ask that, or maybe she just didn’t give a sh*t. At this point, who knows.
“Persona 5 is a masterpiece. It’s a work of fine art, storytelling, and jazz wrapped up onto a single disc of pure beauty. It moves all who play it, but since you so refuse to see its light, I have no choice but to make you experience it this way. It’s for your own good.”
As if on cue, a choir joined the piano music that seemed to come from… somewhere.
“For my- the hell does that mean?!” Scott stood up and started rattling at the cell door, hoping its state of disrepair would mean he could just break it open. It didn’t. “Let me out!!!”
“Oh, I’ll let you out… once you beat the game.” Anna smirked again, in a way that made that statement come out in the most infuriating sickly-sweet tone possible. “Try not to get any bad endings, okay? For your own sake.”
Suddenly, the sound of an alarm bell started. Scott tried to cover his ears, but his arms were suddenly too heavy. Simultaneously feeling like he was nailed to the spot and like he was tumbling through the abyss, he heard Anna tell him one last thing before everything went dark.
“Oh, and I’ve put in some protective measures on the fourth wall so the console you’re running on doesn’t explode, but try not to push it, alright?”
Scott bolted upright in a cold sweat, only to be painfully reminded of his claim to the top bunk as his forehead slammed against one of the rafters.
“GAH!” Christ, that hurt. He heard Ren stirring in the bunk below him, presumably woken up either by the smack from his noggin or his cry of pain. It was 50/50 which one ended up doing it.
He was in the same attic as the night before. That (hopefully) eliminated the possibility of him somehow sleep-teleporting, but if his conversation with Anna May had been more than just a dream, this situation wasn’t much better.
Because why have bullsh*t when you can have dogs*t.
After fumbling around for his glasses again, Scott’s eyes fell on the school uniform jacket hanging on one of the posts of the bunk bed.
I just had to get stuck in a game that’s gonna make me go back to high school, didn’t I?
Chapter Text
It had taken way too long to figure out the subway line transfer, and to top everything off, it suddenly started raining as soon as it seemed like they were gonna make good time. Scott, all too familiar with colder temperatures, had decided to add a hoodie over the uniform’s shirt and under the jacket that morning, but it was coming down too hard for a hood to really make any difference. So, he and Ren were stuck under some random shop’s awning.
While Ren tried to figure out a route to school that’d get them the least bit soaked as humanly possible in this weather, Scott messed around with his own smartphone. He hadn’t had one before, he’d always just carry his landline around. But, if he could figure out spaceship docking in Wii Play Motion, he could figure this out.
Seemed like pretty standard smartphone fare, the IM app on it was pretty over-the-top, but maybe that’s just how IM apps usually are. The pop-up ads were being a pain in the ass, though. He didn’t even know what “bigass red eye” could even be trying to sell him.
He was snapped out of his focus of trying to get rid of the pop-up when Ren said something beside him.
He didn’t catch what it was, but by the time he looked up Scott was able to catch a look at the guy with a huge chin in the car, with a girl wearing some impressively wavy blonde pigtails in the passenger’s seat. He missed the context of the moment, but he thought he saw the girl looking really… uncomfortable? Before Scott could really tell, the car was already on its way.
Before he could really process that, another kid ran up. Just missing the car as it pulled away, he kicked a puddle in frustration.
“Damn, screw that pervy teacher!” He shouted, apparently not caring that the rain was beating down on him. He turned and glared at him and Ren, who were both sending blank looks back.
“...What do you guys want.” The kid with short bleached hair spat at them.
“To get back to my hometown and go back to talking about stupid Nintendo games for the rest of my life.”
Wait, that’s not what I wanted to say...
“Cut the shit, are you gonna rat me out to Kamoshida?”
Ren responded this time. “Kamoshida?”
“You know, the guy in the car? Huge chin? Does whatever the hell he wants like he’s the king of some castle?” Blonde kid asked, holding the back of his hand a good few inches under his chin to convey how weirdly big Kamoshida’s was in comparison.
“Castle…?” Ren tilted his head a bit.
“I mean, not really, but… wait, you two really don’t know Kamoshida? You are from Shujin, right? That’s the second-year uniform you’re both wearing.”
“That sounds right…” Scott said.
“C’mon, that ‘sounds’ right? What, are you transfer students or some shit?”
“...Yeah.” Scott said hesitantly. Screw it, he’s rolling with this for now.
“Oh. That explains why you don’t know the guy, I guess.” Blonde kid’s face softened a bit, at least looking a little less hostile. “Well, whatever. I think the rain’s letting up a little, we should probably get going. Any longer and we’d really be cutting it close… c’mon, I know a shortcut.”
“Famous last words…” Scott mumbled to himself as he pushed himself off the wall.
He stumbled for a second, feeling light-headed like he stood up too fast, but managed not to fall face-first into a puddle.
“Man, my head hurts… I hate Mondays.” Blonde kid muttered a few paces ahead.
The shortcut blonde kid had mentioned was through an alley cutting between buildings. There wasn’t as much rain getting through thanks to that, but Scott was still going to need to give his glasses a good wipe by the time they got to Shujin.
“Hey!” Scott called over to Ren, after narrowly dodging kickback from a puddle he’d stepped in.
Pink kickback.
“Sorry, I didn’t think it’d…” Ren turned back, trailing off as he saw the last traces of pink turn back into normal puddle colors.
Scott and Ren shared a look. Or, they were going to, before blonde kid said something at the end of the alley.
“The hell?!”
By the time the other two caught up to him, the rain was gone.
And so was the school.
At least, Scott was assuming Shujin wasn’t a huge medieval-looking castle. He was pretty out of it the day before, but he was pretty sure he would have noticed something like that. Pretty sure.
The sign still said Shujin Academy, though. Scott couldn’t actually read Japanese, but since yesterday he’d somehow be able to understand whatever he was looking at. Pretty weird, but the castle was just a bit higher on the weirdness priority list here.
“I mean, I guess we should go in and ask…?” Blonde kid scratched the back of his head. Scott knew that was a stupid idea, but it wasn’t like he had anything better to suggest.
So they crossed the huge drawbridge and entered.
“What the hell…?” Scott said, looking around at the massive entry hall before them.
“Right, where’d the school go? It’s not like we took any wrong turns…” Blonde kid added.
“And the sign still read Shujin.” Ren fidgeted with his bag strap.
“Right so, it’s Shujin, but not Shujin. Because that really makes sense.” Scott said sarcastically.
“Hey, I don’t know what’s happening either! You don’t gotta be a dick about it!” Blonde kid spat back.
Something was moving towards them.
“Uh…”
“Yeah, I go to Shujin! But I’m pretty sure that doesn’t mean I’m an expert in buildings up and randomly changing into something totally different!”
“No, it’s…”
Someone in a huge suit of armor was making their way towards the three of them, but blonde kid had his back turned to them.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so! So how would you expect me to-”
“BEHIND YOU!” Scott interrupted.
Blonde kid turned around to see the armored guy staring him down.
“Oh.”
He backed a little closer to Scott and Ren.
The suit of armor leaned forward, clearly glaring at them despite the fact that its eyes were impossible to see under the mask below its helmet.
“H-hold on, can we just talk this out for a sec?” Blonde kid put his hands up.
“Yeah! Sick costumes, but pranks have their limits, y’know?” Scott added.
Ren stayed silent.
Another suit of armor joined the first one, and the clank of metal in the distance probably meant there were more on the way.
Blonde kid leaned towards the other two. “We should probably run right now, right?”
“Yeah, that’s probably a pretty good idea.” Scott said, and Ren nodded in agreement.
“Okay. Yeah. Cool. So RUN!!!”
Blonde kid didn’t need to tell Scott twice, but two more suits had already cut off their way to the exit.
Behind him, blonde kid let out an “AGH!”
Scott turned around, one of the guards had knocked him down. Two more were closing in fast. They were surrounded.
“Hey, you’re gonna break something doin’ that!” blonde kid yelled, but just got another kick in response.
“TAKE THEM AWAY!” Scott couldn’t tell which guard said that, but the voice was wrong in a way that was hard to describe, and getting knocked out thanks to a tragic case of shield-to-the-head wasn’t really helping.
“...ey, come on, wake up!”
Ngh…
“C’mon, lemme know you guys aren’t dead!”
“Hey all, Scott here…” Scott managed, slowly getting his eyes to open.
If the cell in the velvet room was dingy, this one was just straight-up a health violation. I don’t care where you are, cuffs that rusty just hanging out on the walls cannot be up to code.The place was super leaky too, Scott noted as a droplet of water nailed him right in the forehead. He sat up, using the wooden bench-thing above him to support his arm. Ren apparently had been on it, since Scott heard him groan with the wood as he put his weight on it.
God, this hurts.
He was aching all over, and that was definitely a goose egg forming where that guard’s shield hit him. Being passed out on a cold, hard, and slightly wet floor definitely wasn’t helping that.
“You guys alright?” Blonde kid asked them.
“Depends on what counts as alright.” Scott said.
“I’m okay, you?” Ren asked blonde kid.
“Oh, thank fuck… Yeah, I’m fine. The hell do we do now?!”
As if the situation weren’t bleak enough, a blood-curdling scream came from the distance. Blonde kid and Ren ran up to the cell door to see if they could figure out where it was coming from, and Scott followed as quickly as he could get up.
They couldn’t tell where the scream came from, but they were treated to some echoing pleas for mercy for their efforts. Jesus, this is what happens in Persona 5?!
“Whoa, whoawhoawhoa… you’re shittin’ me, right!?” Blonde kid was starting to panic.
“God I really hope we’re being sh*tted right now.” Scott was starting to freak out a little, too. Could he die in here? Do doctors know how to treat murder via video game injuries? Would he even have a body?!
“Wait, how did you do that?” Blonde kid’s freakout had been put on hold, which thankfully stopped Scott’s own whirling thoughts in their tracks.
“Do what?” Scott asked.
“You know, the uh… say shit again.”
“Sh*t?”
“Yeah, how the hell are you doin’ that?!”
“Focus, you two!” Ren interjected, snapping his fingers to get their attention. “Someone’s coming.”
Three guards approached the cell, and they took turns speaking. Their voices sounded just as wrong as they did the first time.
“Your punishment has been decided upon.”
“Your charge is unlawful entry,”
“And you are all sentenced to death.”
“Say what?!” Blonde kid exclaimed.
“No one does as they please here. It is my castle, after all.” Someone new spoke up. The guards stepped aside as he approached the cell door and sneered at the blonde kid.
“No way... Is that you, Kamoshida?”
Wait, that was Kamoshida? This twig of a guy, who had a cape covered in hearts and nothing but a pink man-thong under that? The glowing yellow eyes were goddamn creepy, but everything else about him just screamed “I’m a loser with a superiority complex!”
“I thought you’d be thieves, but I didn’t expect to see you here. Didn’t learn anything last time, eh Sakamoto? Maybe it’ll get through your thick skull by round two. Perhaps the rest of your little trio need to learn the ropes around here too…”
“This shit isn’t funny, asshole!” Blonde kid (Sakamoto?) rattled the cell door, pissed the hell off. He sorta reminded Scott of Rex Mohs back home…
“You dare speak to your king like that? Don’t you realize the situation you’re in?!”
God, this guy was pissing Scott off more and more by the second.
“What the f*ck even makes you king? That tiny crown?! It looks like it came out of some kid’s Halloween costume!” Scott spat.
The glow in Kamoshida’s eyes flared. “Oh, You’d like to be executed first, is that what you’re saying?” His sneer grew, starting to look almost inhuman. “Well, I was hoping to off Sakamoto first, but since you’re so eager, why don’t we switch things up with a two-for-one?”
This guy was off his f*cking rocker. No, not just that, this guy jumped off his rocker, sprinted a mile away from it, and stole a sh*tty crown from a Spirit Halloween.
And he and his guards were coming into the cell to kill him and Sakamoto.
“You, kick down the feisty four-eyes over there. You two, restrain Sakamoto. I’d like to give him a little special treatment before the end.”
The guard didn’t need to think twice. Before Scott could process the madman’s orders, he was already on the ground, wincing from the pain.
He couldn’t move, but he had a pretty damn good view of Kamoshida turning Sakamoto into a personal blood dispenser. Calling him names that got worse with each punch, before finally motioning the guard to throw him down next to Scott.
“What, neither of you are gonna fight it anymore? You were so eager a second ago… Ah well, I’ll still enjoy killing you. Especially you, Sakamoto.” Kamoshida growled, giving Sakamoto a good kick to the ribs.
This is so f*cked up…
“Stop it.” Ren interrupted.
“Hm…? You don’t get who I am still, do you?” Kamoshida turned, shoving himself into Ren’s face.
“...” Ren’s glare spoke volumes, even though he stayed silent.
“Grh, that look in your eyes really pisses me off.” He went back to glaring at Scott and Sakamoto. “I’ll be focusing on these peasants’ execution first, but don’t worry. You’re dying next.”
Sakamoto whimpered next to him, and Scott couldn’t even manage that.
This… this can’t be it, right? This has to be scripted, the game’s only just started… right???
One guard picked up Sakamoto by his neck and readied his sword. Another did the same with Scott.
My neck’s falling asleep…
But just as the guards readied their blades…
“THAT’S ENOUGH!”
Ren’s voice boomed through the cell. It was the first time Scott had heard him say anything louder than basically just above a whisper, and it was powerful.
“Oh? Well, if you’re that eager to go first…” The guards let him and Sakamoto fall to the hard floor. Scott fought to stay conscious, which was kinda hard, but he was managing at the very least.
The guards that had been holding up Scott and Sakamoto restrained Ren, his glasses falling off as one bashed him with its shield. Kamoshida motioned at them to go through with the execution.
But before they could, a gust of wind tore through the tiny cell. Scott barely kept his own glasses on, but a moment later he both regretted and was grateful that they were still on.
There was a mask on Ren’s face. He felt at it for a second, and then tried to remove it. Scott could only guess it was somehow attached to his face, because when he did, it came with a gross ripping sound and blood. A lot of blood.
That was the part Scott regretted seeing.
What came next, though, was nothing short of badass. From the mess of blood that was Ren’s face, blue flames erupted. They enveloped his entire being until they became another being entirely, rising out of him. Where the flames had been, Ren wore a black leather trenchcoat with pronounced collar and cuffs, pointed boots, and a snazzy pair of red gloves. From the other being of blue flame emerged something huge. It wasn’t a person, that much was clear from its wings and flaming face, but it also wore a top hat and red jacket to contrast Ren’s.
All Sakamoto managed to say was “Wh… What the?”
Scott couldn’t help but agree.
“W- who the hell are you…?” Kamoshida managed, cowering at the sight of the new addition to the room.
“I AM ARSENE, PILLAGER OF THE TWILIGHT!” That statement had been addressed to the room in general, but now Arsene looked down to address Ren. He looked back up at the being, managing to tear his eyes away from the sick new outfit he suddenly had on.
“IF YOU SO WISH IT, YOU SHALL BE GRANTED THE POWER TO BREAK THROUGH THIS CRISIS. WHAT SAY YOU?” The being sounded… almost amused. It was hard to tell with its face made of fire.
Ren simply nodded. Kamoshida, recognizing the threat, pulled himself together.
“Grgh… GUARDS!” He shouted, shakily standing up as he did. Two of the three suits of armor jumped up at his command. “Start with them.” He said, pointing at Ren and Arsene.
The plates of the armor the guards wore suddenly started to buckle, before the whole suit burst in an explosion of some black and red substance. Scott started to shield his face at the sight of the stuff, but it faded into a fine dust before it had the chance to hit anything. Now where the armor once stood, two imp-like creatures with pumpkin heads that glowed like jack-o-lanterns charged for Ren.
In one final burst of blue flame, a sleek knife appeared in Ren’s gloved hand. It was really something to watch, but it was clear Ren wasn’t experienced with a knife. Neither was Scott, so he couldn’t blame the guy, but the way Ren kept missing the imp guys was giving them an opportunity to start running circles around him.
Something moved in the corner of Scott’s eye, the last of the three guards had stayed down longer than the first two. It, too, burst into a pumpkin imp behind Ren. Who was focused on the first two. He hadn’t noticed the new fighter, which was now readying to strike with his lantern…
“LOOK OUT!” Scott shouted, but the third imp was already swinging.
With another blue flare, Ren dropped to the ground. Arsene vanished, along with the sick outfit.
Kamoshida sneered. “Finally, I was getting impatient. Finish him off!”
“NO!” In a sudden burst of strength, Scott was on his feet, standing over Ren’s unconscious form. He outstretched his arms to shield him.
“Look, I’m not from here. I don’t know you, I don’t know this town, and I’m still not entirely sure what I’m even doing here. But I’m not just going to stand by watching some asshole kick the sh*t out of some kid, no matter where I am! So yeah, I’m stuck here. But if that means I have to fight my way out, then I GUESS I’LL FIGHT!”
“Is that so?”
Scott’s head exploded with pain. He gasped, and then gritted his teeth, trying not to give into the urge to clutch it so that his shielding position wouldn’t be compromised.
“You know you do not belong here. Not in this town, nor this world, yet you still wish to fight its injustices?”
“Gh… Yeah, of course I do!” Scott grunted. He felt like his brain was gonna explode from the inside of his head.
“You were never meant to face them. This entire situation shouldn’t even concern you, yet you still find yourself unable to leave it be?”
“Duh! Look, could you do me a favor and quit bashing the inside of my goddamn head? I’m trying to help this guy!”
“Oh, I can do much more than that, for someone of your determination. You may be able to talk the talk, but the other self residing within you will assist you in walking the walk!”
“Wait, what does-” A fresh burst of pain ripped through Scott. He couldn’t stop himself from letting down his shield to clutch his head this time.
“I am thou, thou art I… Call my name, you who are committed to justice, regardless of your chains to it or your lack thereof! Now, get your face ready…”
The pain dulled. Something was on his face. Something that wasn’t supposed to be there, something he had to get off. His glasses had fallen off at some point while he was distracted with his talking migraine, but they’d been replaced. He pulled at the frame of the goggles(?) on his face. Christ, they were on there tight, but they had to come off. Scott pulled harder.
Come on… Oh, there it goes-
He ripped the mask off, and it burned like hell. He looked down at his hands, covered in blood.
Okay, yeah, that happens- wait is that face blood?
“AAAGH!!!” Yeah, that was the pain ripping off his goddamn face catching up to him. But it wasn’t there for long.
For a second, everything was blue. A really, really bright blue. A name entered Scott’s mind, and he called it out.
“COME, DAROACH!”
Above him, he could feel Daroach manifest. He didn’t even need to look back at him to know what he looked like, Scott just knew.
Daroach took the form of a huge mouse. He himself was smaller than Arsene, but the huge cloak that was a light purple, as well as the wide-brimmed boater hat made up for it. Underneath the cape was a pinstripe suit resembling that of a barbershop quartet, split down the middle with a red and blue color scheme, with a big purple bow tie keeping the cloak in place. In one clawed paw, it twirled a wooden cane, with a deep red layer of wood stain on the end that went on the ground.
As it unfurled its cape and took up a threatening yet playful stance, a gust of wind came off of it, catching the pumpkin imps by surprise.
“Hey- don’t just stand there, DO SOMETHING!” Kamoshida commanded, and the pumpkin imps readied their lanterns, the fire inside them glowing brighter.
“Sorry, was always more of a watermelon guy, myself.” Scott summoned a cane identical to the one Daroach held, appearing in a burst of a blue flame that came as naturally as breathing.
With a smirk and a hat tilt, he put them all on ice one by one, before shattering them with a single BONK each from the cane. Before Kamoshida could blink, Scott had already twirled and swung his guards into submission, and he wasn’t done yet.
“Hey, blondie! Get the keys! I’ll take care of Ren.” With one smooth motion, Scott used the hook of the cane to pick Ren up by the collar, and over his shoulders. Any other day, he probably wouldn’t have been able to carry an entire person on his back, but the power coursing through him seemed to make it easy. Or maybe that was adrenaline.
“R-right, you mean these?” Sakamoto scrambled to his feet, nabbed the keys and followed Scott out of the cell. Slamming it shut as he exited, he then twisted the lock shut and threw the keys into the channel of water in the middle of the dungeon. As they ran down the hall of cells, they heard Kamoshida’s voice fade into the distance.
“GODDAMN THIEVES! YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS!!!”
Neither of them looked back as the loser king kept screaming.
Notes:
Screw it, giving you guys chapter 2 today too. Chapter 1's pretty short anyways, and this is really where things actually get going.
If you realize I forgot about the iPhone Scott uses in Raid Shadow Legends, no you didn't ♥
Chapter 3: Name Something You Take From Room to Room (A CAT!!!)
Chapter Text
Sakamoto and Scott hid behind a pile of barrels after getting a few hallways’ worth from where they had just locked up Kamoshida. Right when he was trying to catch his breath, Scott’s new outfit vanished in another burst of blue flame.
Oh crap this kid’s heavy-
Scott was brought crashing down onto the floor as the weight of Ren’s unconscious body caught up to him. He really hoped there weren’t any guards around to hear that.
“Hey!”
Sh*t, was that another guard? Scott was stuck under Ren, but tried to look around for the source of the voice. Thankfully, it was already pretty close to floor level.
What the hell is that thing.
In the cell closest to their cover of barrels, was a cat-like… person? No, that’s not the right word. It looked more like something that could be an early-game enemy, when Scott thought about it.
“Let me outta here, will ya?” It stood on two legs, waving its other toe-beaned paws in front of its yellow neckerchief and what looked like a black mask. Though, the ears also seemed to be perfectly moveable on top, so maybe this cat just had a really weird face?
“F-for real?!” Sakamoto gasped. “Is that a talking cat? Or am I losin’ it?!”
“No, that cat is definitely talking. Or we’re both losing it, probably shouldn’t rule that out.”
“I am not a cat! I am Morgana!!!” it yowled. “Now come on, the keys are right there!”
Scott looked up and saw a hook high up next to the cell, with a big keyring hanging from it. Yeah, there was no way that lil’ guy was gonna reach those alone. Though…
“Why should we? For all we know, you could be one of the guards, after that armor explodes off ‘em.” Scott asked.
“If I were a guard, why would I be locked up?!” Morgana rattled the cell door as best as he could with his lil’ paws.
“Well, we did manage to lock the king in a cell a minute ago…” Scott thought back.
“Ugh! Look, you’re just regular people who got lost here somehow, right? I know how to get to the exit of this place. Let me out, and I’ll take you there. Or would you rather get ripped to shreds by the guards?”
“Okay, that might be a good point.” Scott nodded, or at least tried to as best as he could while squashed onto the floor.
“Alright, alright…” Sakamoto poked his head above the barrel pile to make sure the coast was clear, before snatching the keys from the hook and unlocking the cell. Morgana waltzed out, with a little spring to his step.
“Ah… freedom at last! Thanks, you two. Now, before I get you outta here, we aren’t gonna get far with your friend knocked out…”
“Wh- we aren’t just gonna leave him behind!” Sakamoto shouted.
“Hey, quiet down! I never said that’s what we were doing!” Morgana scowled back at him. “Just a sec…”
Placing one hand-paw on the back of Ren’s uniform jacket, Morgana closed his eyes. For just a second, the spot he touched glowed a light green. The second after that, Scott heard Ren groan above him.
“Holy shit, you’re a magic talking cat?!” Sakamoto exclaimed, earning a shushing hiss from Morgana.
“I said to be quiet, are you trying to get guards to swarm us?! And, like I said, not a cat!”
Ren sat up, rubbing the back of his head. “What happened…?”
“Scott got you out of there, you okay?”
Ren nodded.
“I’m glad, but we should really start making our way out of here!” Morgana interjected.
“Is that a talking cat?” Ren asked, pointing at Morgana.
“Why do I even try…?” Morgana rolled his huge blue eyes. “Just follow me, and quit calling me a cat!”
They didn’t get far before they were spotted. They only made it across one drawbridge (which Scott had to lower because Morgana couldn’t reach the switch) before they were cut off by a pair of guards, startling Sakamoto so much he tripped and fell backwards at the sight of them. On the other hand, the slick outfits and masks flared back onto Ren and Scott.
“Heh, amateur. So, you two can fight? Back me up then, will ya?” Morgana bounded over Sakamoto, taking up a battle stance. “COME, ZORRO!”
With another burst of blue flame, another large being like Arsene and Daroach appeared above him. This time a topheavy sharp-looking fellow (both figuratively and literally) with an ornate belt and a slim one-handed sword.
“W-whoa, you too!?” Sakamoto gasped.
“Alright, let’s shut these guards up! Watch and learn, newbies!” Morgana flashed the other two party members a smug grin as the guards scrambled to their battle-ready forms.
“How are we supposed to learn how to fight these things from you? You’re tiny!” Scott said, readying his whackin’ cane.
“Hey, size isn’t the only thing that matters here, you know! Watch carefully, got it?”
With another shout, Morgana raised his paw. With a flick of Zorro’s sword-wielding wrist, one of the enemies (another pumpkin imp guy) was engulfed in a personal whirlwind. Its flame wasn’t out by the end of it, but the sudden weakness of what was left of it seemed to leave it dazed. With a smirk, Morgana ran up and slashed the enemy in two with a sword that should have been way too big for him to wield, making the halves of the shadow dissipate.
“You need to find an enemy’s weakness, something that’ll daze them enough to give you another opening to attack! This is amateur hour stuff, but you are both amateurs.”
“I mean, you’re right, but you don’t need to say it that much…” Scott grumbled, taking the chance to size up the other enemy as it freaked out about its fallen comrade, or more likely, about how outnumbered it was.
It looked like a walking plant, with the petals blooming on its head and the roots it used as fingers. Now, Scott had never been into Pokemon, but he’d played the games enough to A: remember he doesn’t even like them, and B: know that grass types are weak against fire-types. I mean, it was one of the first weaknesses it taught you, it’s kinda hard to miss.
Calling upon Daroach’s power again through his mask (don’t ask Scott how he knew how to do it, because he didn’t know where he got that either), he quite literally lit a fire under the plant thing’s ass. It started running around in a frenzy, only to run face first into Scott’s outstretched cane. It was pretty hilarious, which would come across better in a medium that lent itself more to comedic timing. Still, the enemy dissipated on impact.
Only a few seconds after the last guard was taken out, Ren and Scott were back in their normal clothes with another blue flare. Morgana looked at them thoughtfully.
"Hmm, you guys must have both awakened your powers really recently. Normally, you don't revert like that… but it should stop happening over time."
He turned towards Scott. "Nice job there, though! Your persona seems pretty powerful, makes me excited to see what your friend here has!" Morgana nodded towards Ren at the last part of that statement.
“W-wait, persona? That what those big guys are called?” Sakamoto said, shakily standing up now that the enemies were gone.
“Well, yeah! We all wear a mask in our hearts after all, so when it’s removed, it-” Morgana started explaining.
“Uh, I’m pretty sure taking somethin’ off your heart would just kill ya. I don’t know shit about anatomy, but I’ve seen enough movies to get that that thing’s a pretty big deal.”
“Not the literal organ, moron! Look, blondie, we don’t have time for lectures. That all can come later, you all need to get out of here now. Exit’s this way, let’s get moving!” Morgana said, already bouncing towards a stairwell by the end of his sentence.
“I ain’t just some ‘blondie!’ It’s Ryuji, ya mean cat!” Ryuji called after him as he and the other persona-users caught up.
Jesus, this place is big.
Scott, Ren, Ryuji, and Morgana had been running through dungeon hallways for what seemed like way longer than necessary. He already wasn’t happy about his situation, and now this castle was really starting to get on his nerves.
Ryuji suddenly skidded to a stop in front of Ren and Scott, and Scott had to narrowly avoid slamming into the guy as a result.
“Hey! Don’t stop so sudden-” Scott started, but trailed off when he saw what Ryuji was gaping at.
“...ly.”
Oh my God…
There was an unconscious person in a cell. Other than Morgana’s, all the cells they’d passed before now had been empty, but this one, which was even smaller than many of the others, held a boy in some sort of sports uniform. Scott guessed he was around the same age as Ren and Ryuji, but it was hard to tell since he was face-down.
This… this was f*cked up. He’d seen some pretty dark sh*t in video games plenty of times, but being right there just… shook him. For a brief moment, the fact that Scott was stuck in a fictional world briefly left his mind for the first time.
“What are you guys waiting for?! We don’t have time to be making pit stops!” Morgana doubled back from where he ran ahead, and hissed at them with an urgent tone.
“This ain’t a pit stop, there’s another guy here!” Ryuji shouted.
“How many times do I need to say it, keep your voice down! We can’t stop to worry about-”
“You there!”
Crap.
Apparently a guard heard their bickering. Adjusting his gloves as the slick outfits reappeared on them, Ren stepped forward.
“My turn.”
After the armor burst to reveal two fairies (in one suit?), Ren summoned Arsene.
“RAVAGE THEM!” Ren yelled, again allowing his voice to hold an impressively powerful tone.
Arsene tilted his hat, and quickly knocked both fairies down with one hit each. Clearly getting the hang of his newfound abilities and knife, he used the opening to finish them off.
He turned back to the rest of the group, and shot them a small smirk and a thumbs-up This time, his outfit took a bit longer than Scott’s to vanish again.
“Whoaaa!” Morgana mewed. “Looking cool, Ren! Now c’mon, we seriously need to get out of here!”
Scott and Ryuji hesitated, but eventually gave in and went back to following Morgana.
“Ohhh my God, the entrance hall! We’re saved!” Ryuji laughed as soon as the familiar room was in sight.
“Hold on, you’re not actually out of the palace yet!” Morgana reminded them. “Over here!”
“Uh, I’m no door expert, but I’m pretty sure that’s the front door.” Scott pointed at the door across the hall from where Morgana was going.
“Phantom Thieves don’t use the front door, moron! Now hurry up!”
The room Morgana had led them into did not look anything like an exit.
“How the hell are we supposed to get out in here?! There ain’t even any windows to climb out of!” Ryuji asked.
“Vent shaft, up there.” Ren pointed above a bookshelf. Sure enough, there was a ye olde vent cover covering a decently-sized tunnel.
“Precisely. Like I thought, you’re a natural! This tunnel leads right out the front, and the drawbridge doesn’t actually ever go up. Cross it, and you’re home free.” Morgana mewed.
“So, we just gotta get the metal thing off it? Leave it to me!” Ryuji smirked, revving up and getting a running start to jump the bookshelf and yank the grate off.
CRASH!
Yeah, that bookshelf was gonna need replacing. When Ryuji put his weight on one of the shelves, it cracked in half. Ryuji came crashing down onto the checker-tile floor, which was now littered with sh*tty romance novels.
He had grabbed onto the grate before that though, so it popped off easily under the stress of all of Ryuji’s body weight. Scott had to give him credit for still getting it done, even if he ate sh*t in the process.
“Hell yeah, we’re outta here!” Scott cheered.
“Save the celebrations for when you’re actually out! Now c’mon, scram before that crash attracts another guard!” Ryuji was already climbing back up the shelf, and Scott was impatiently waiting for him to get into the vent so he could too.
“What about you?” Ren asked Morgana.
“I’ve still got business here. We’re splitting up here, for now at least.”
“...Don’t get caught again.”
“As long as you three are careful on the final stretch without me!” Morgana smiled up at him.
With a nod, Ren climbed into the vent after Scott, and they ran across the drawbridge and out of the castle as fast as their legs could carry them.
Chapter Text
"You have returned to the real world. Welcome back!"
Ren, Scott, and Ryuji all caught their breath, finding themselves right next to where Kamoshida had been in his car earlier. Jesus, it felt like that happened forever ago. Scott assumed (or at least hoped) that it was the same date as then, so that meant they were only gone for a few hours. By now, it was probably almost noon.
Scott went ahead and said what was on all of their minds.
"What the f*ck was that?!"
"Right?! I mean, I wasn't just hallucinating all of it, right? You both saw all that?!" Ryuji added, still panicked.
Ren nodded.
Scott shrugged. "I know I said not to rule out us both losing it, but all three of us at once? Seems pretty unlikely."
"...Is Shujin still that castle?" Ren asked, looking in the direction of the shortcut they took earlier.
"Guess there's only one way to find out…" Ryuji muttered, starting to retrace their steps.
The teacher with a messy dark brown bob cut and denim skirt sighed as soon as she saw Ren and Scott enter the faculty office.
“Unbelievable, where were you two all morning? You do remember that you’ll be expelled from here if you cause any trouble, right?”
“We got lost.” Ren said apologetically. Well, that was technically true.
“For four entire periods?” Miss Kawakami (based on the nametag sitting on the desk) raised her eyebrow.
“We got really lost.” Scott said, stuffing his hands into his uniform jacket’s pockets. It was weird, he knew he wasn’t really supposed to be going here, but the teacher’s glare made him feel guilty about their tardiness anyways.
“Whatever, I don’t want to know. We’ll be ending classes after fifth period today to accommodate for the delays caused by the subway accident, but don’t be this late in the future.”
“The what-now?” Scott asked.
Kawakami sighed again. “It’s been all over the news… seriously, if this is how oblivious you are outside of class, I loathe to think of the tests I’ll need to grade from you. Why me…?” She said, continuing to lament as she got all her papers together and motioned them to follow her into the hall.
“Look, when you introduce yourself to the class, keep it quick, okay? No smart-alecky comments, just a standard greeting and nothing else. Got it?”
They nodded.
“Good. Now, try not to screw up your one period of the day…”
“Alright, Ren Amamiya and… Scott Wozniak-Working-Title? Whatever, they’ll be in the class from this day forward. They got caught up in some paperwork loose ends, so they’re in a bit late. Go ahead, you two.”
“I’m Ren Amamiya. Nice to meet you.” Ren said with a slight bow.
“Hey all, Scott here. And uh, just Wozniak’s fine.” Scott said with a wave, then mirroring Ren’s bow just to be safe.
Whispers started from all over the classroom. They were clearly trying to keep it hushed, but most of them weren’t really succeeding.
“Whoa, it’s those criminal transfers! They actually showed up?”
“Didn’t they gang up on someone and beat him up? That’s what their deal is, right?”
“A quiet kid and a goofball… but what’re they like when you piss ‘em off?”
“I bet the quiet one’d spaz out at the drop of a hat, but that other one’s way harder to read… though, that sorta makes him scarier, y’know?”
“Scott’s an American name, right? He might be a gun nut, you hear of the crazy shit happening in American schools lately?”
Miss Kawakami loudly tapped her papers on the lectern. “Settle down, class. Now, there’s a couple of open seats in the second from the back row, I don’t care which of you takes which. Ask whoever’s next to you to share their textbook, ‘till you get your own, at least. Now hurry up so I can get started.”
This blows.
That thought had been running through Scott’s mind as soon as class started, and even though he only had to sit through one period, it felt like it dragged on forever. But, it was finally over, and he was so ready to get the hell outta there and start looking for other ways out of this goddamn game.
...Thing was, he didn’t know where to start. Where can you start with something like this?
Ren was close behind as Scott left the classroom. He’d need to figure out a way to shake him off once he had a grasp on what to try doing. He couldn’t drag any of the game’s characters into this.
That train of thought was interrupted and then derailed by Miss Kawakami addressing them both from the doorway.
“By the way you two, I’ve been told that Sakura sounded pretty mad about this morning when the office called him. I’m guessing he doesn’t want you wandering around on the way home, either. Try to get the route down this time.”
Scott internally groaned. Not starting on a breakout that night, then. Wasn’t much he could do under the watchful eye of not one, but two of the game’s characters.
This really blows.
“Oh, and you were cutting class with Sakamoto, right? He’s really not somebody you should be hanging out with, look where that got you just-”
As if on cue, Ryuji strode up to them from the other side of the hall.
“Speak of the devil and he shall appear...”
Ryuji ignored her, leaning in between Ren and Scott.
“Meet me on the roof. Like, now. I’ll be waitin’ for ya.” He whispered, before turning around and going right back in the direction he came from.
“Shady… Seriously, you can see why he’s a bad influence. Don’t go getting buddy-buddy with someone like him. Got it?”
Miss Kawakami didn’t wait for an answer before walking off too.
...He didn’t even do anything?
Scott wasn’t really paying attention to what Ryuji was saying. The main reason he decided to go up to the roof was partly so he wouldn’t have NPCs on his case, but he also wanted to see how far the render distance went, which was a lot easier to do in a higher place. He wasn’t a speedrunner, but he knew enough about them that one of the usual strategies in a lot of games was to break boundaries by going through them before they even rendered. If the render distance was small enough, maybe he could bust himself out on a bike or something.
Now that he was up here, yeah, that wasn’t gonna happen. He looked out as far as he could between the other tall buildings in the area, but he couldn’t see a single edge anywhere. The rendering had to stop somewhere, though. The PS4 is a modern console, but it still has its limits, right? But the more Scott looked, the more he realized that looking out into the distance looked just like it did in real life.
I guess being in the game changes the rules, huh...
Scott gave up on that strategy. It was clearly a dead end, so he decided he might as well tune into the rest of whatever Ryuji had to say.
“Y’know, maybe we could go back to that castle… nah, too crazy. Couldn’ta been real, maybe some science student had a sample of that swamp gas stuff they always talk about in horror movies, and accidentally dropped it?”
“Really?” Scott deadpanned. “You’re gonna apply horror movie logic to f*king real life?”
Huh? I wasn’t gonna- didn’t this happen earlier, too?
Scott was going to say “you’re gonna apply horror movie logic to f*cking Persona 5.” He didn’t hesitate or anything, that’s literally what he was starting to say. Still, what he heard come out was totally different. Sounded like a sh*tty dub even, reminded him of the time he dubbed over some older footage to talk about E3 2017 a few years back.
He was about to drop the title of the game he was stuck in, hadn’t Anna said something about protection measures for the fourth wall or something?
“Well, whatever.” Ryuji stood up and continued before Scott could fully tune out again. “I just wanted to thank you guys. Dream or not, you saved my ass from Kamoshida in there. So, since we’re basically a sorta squad of troublemakers, I’ll see you around, yeah?”
And just like that, he was already out the door and heading down the school’s stairs.
Jesus, that guy’s fast.
In the attic of Cafe Leblanc, Ren was out like a light, but there was one thing Scott needed to figure out before he’d be able to get any rest.
"Velvet Room: 0 map results."
Great.
That had been Scott’s one other real idea for busting out of this goddamn game. If he could find Anna and ‘prove his worth in combat’ again or whatever, that would have probably been a good shot at getting out.
That’s the way anime conflict works, right?
...I mean, that sounds right.
Whatever. He was too wiped from that crazy day of running around a goddamn castle and summoning a huge mouse to fight sh*t for him. Honestly, Scott wasn’t sure if he really had a good grasp on everything that happened that day.
Getting chewed out by Sojiro didn’t help, either.
Wasn't a lot he could do that night, so he put down the smartphone on the top-bunk mattress under him and let the fatigue caused by the day's events catch up to him.
--4/12--
This still blows.
That was becoming a mental catchphrase at this point. Here he was, stuck in a video game, and rather than doing something cool like hanging out with Mario in space, he was packed like a sardine into a can with wheels that acted as a train. Still, if Scott started skimping on his lore-assigned status as a student, he'd be getting watched by a hawk by a ton of NPCs. Rolling with this now meant time to work on finding a way around Anna May's sentence later.
Still didn't stop the whole situation from f*cking blowing, though.
"So a conductor really rammed into a station at top speed? He have a death wish or something?"
Someone near him in the cramped train car was talking loud enough for Scott to eavesdrop.
Didn't that teacher lady mention something about that?
"That’s the thing, though! I'm pretty sure he suddenly lost his marbles at the wheel! Brain just gave up or something!"
"Seriously? I mean, there's so much depressing news around I sorta don't blame the guy…"
"Yeah, if that's the reason, I guess it's no wonder this stuff keeps happening…"
Huh. Well, it wasn't like Scott was planning to lose his marbles before he got back to the real world, so he was probably fine.
Guess you don't need to watch the news when you get exposition delivered to you through gossip.
The school day finally ended. Seemed like time dragged on in class just as much as he remembered it did when he was really in high school. That, and the material seemed crazy advanced for anything that was pre-college. How the hell was he supposed to know what some dusty ancient Greek guy's take on souls were?
But, just when Scott thought he was home free (possibly literally if he got lucky), Ryuji ran up to him and Ren at the school gate.
"Hey! Glad I caught ya, I wanted to ask a favor from you two." He dragged them both to the side of the school gate, and kept his voice low.
"I haven't been able to get that castle outta my head, right? I mean, Scott was right about swamp gas making no goddamn sense, and I can't think of any way that could have just been some weird shared dream!"
"Told you." Scott stated.
"Yeah, yeah, ya don’t need to rub it in…" Ryuji groaned, but regained his serious composure quickly.
"But seriously, the whole thing is wrapped around that asshole Kamoshida! I can't just sit around and ignore that, remember that other kid we saw in a cage yesterday?! I say we retrace our steps, get back there, and bust him out."
Ren didn't need to think long about Ryuji’s proposal. "I'm in." He said with a nod.
Scott took a bit longer, though. He didn’t particularly want to go back to that castle, but at the same time, maybe he could find a way out of the game from there. At the very least, he could probably get information on this game’s world that might help him get back home.
That, and this was probably part of the game’s story. He was gonna get dragged into this one way or another.
“F*ck it, I’ll come.” Scott eventually relented.
“Still have no goddamn idea how you’re doing that with your mouth, but good to have ya on board!” Ryuji said, clapping Scott on the shoulder.
Scott shrugged off his hand. “Right, so your plan is to retrace our steps, right?”
“Yeah, we take that shortcut again, and we should be there! I think.”
“You think?” Scott raised an eyebrow.
“C’mon man, this isn’t everyday stuff! Ya think we could tone down the passive aggressive shit?” Ryuji complained.
“...Maybe.”
“Fuck it, good enough.”
“Huh? That was the same route as yesterday, how’d we end up back here…?” Ryuji wondered aloud.
Yeah, that was just the normal Shujin Academy building in front of them.
Scott was 100% sure there hadn’t been any wrong turns getting there, his sense of direction he got from playing so many video games meant he would have noticed it. That meant there was something else to this.
“Hey Ren, can you hand me your phone for a second?” Scott asked, turning to Ren.
“Huh? Why?”
“If stupid Nintendo games have taught me anything, it’s that when you’re stuck on a puzzle, you check your inventory for a solution before anything else.”
“Oh yeah! Your phone said something about returning to the real world when we got out, right?” Ryuji added.
Seeming to realize where Scott was going with this, he handed it over. Scott swiped through the installed apps, looking for something out of the ordinary.
“You had your phone out yesterday too, so maybe… hey, what’s this eye app about?”
“It keeps coming back when I try to delete it.” Ren explained with a shrug.
An app with plot armor? That’s gotta be it.
Scott tapped the icon, and was greeted with four boxes. Each one was accompanied by a large microphone icon, all with labels that made no goddamn sense.
Well, two of them did make sense. Name and location, pretty self-explanatory. After that though, Scott was totally lost. What were ‘concept’ and ‘distortion’ supposed to mean?
“There’s gotta be fast travel for places you’ve been to already…” Scott muttered, looking for other menus to check out. Despite this thing’s icon, the UI was not easy on the eyes. That being said, he was sorta getting into this. Even if he wasn’t about to admit that to himself... or to anyone else, for that matter.
“Here we go, navigation history!” Scott turned the phone around, pointing at his discovery. There was already a single entry in the log. “Now, from here it’s gotta be easy…” He said, turning the phone back to himself.
“Hey, I dunno if we should really rush into-” Ren started to say.
It was too late for protests. Scott already found and pressed the button next to the keywords that got them to the castle from yesterday, and the app made that clear when it interrupted Ren.
“Kamoshida… Shujin Academy… Pervert… Castle… Beginning navigation.”
Notes:
I Don't? Think??? Any of those classroom murmurs really need content warnings??? But feel free to comment if I'm totally wrong abt that lmao, I can always add one after the fact!
Also, I'm working on some companion art for next week's update, would you guys rather I have it as like, a beginning or end of chapter thing, as a side fic dedicated to art for this AU, or just linked in from my tumblr?? I'm not too sure what the Standard is here, so if anyone has a preference, feel free to speak up!
Chapter 5: It May Be Hard to Find a Place to Start, So...
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The world around them started to waver. It almost felt like something had come from the phone in his hand in a wave that made him lightheaded for a second. Looking around, it seemed like all of the buildings were almost trembling, but the Shujin building was the main attraction here. The entire thing seemed to violently ripple before the distorted look of the building melted away, with a familiar medieval-style castle taking its place.
Now that was trippy.
“Yo, those clothes are back!” Ryuji exclaimed, pointing at the other two.
Sure enough, the leather trench coat and snazzy gloves were back on Ren, complete with the same bird-like mask that showed up on his face before Arsene showed up. Ren took off the mask and observed it as he turned it around in his hands, so it apparently wasn’t attached to his face this time around.
Ryuji had also pointed at Scott, though. He realized he hadn’t stopped to really get a good look at the getup the last time they were here, so he took the chance to look himself over now.
First things first, he took off his own mask as well. Not just to look at it, but also to figure out what colors were on him. Being colorblind, he was gonna need that.
However, for the sake of the reader, as well as the author who isn’t colorblind, we’re just gonna ignore that for the costume description.
The top was a jacket that reminded him of the barbershop quartet-esque suit he had for whenever he needed to do an upbeat introductory musical number or talk about The Guy Game. Unlike that jacket, however, the light stripes were two-colored, being a light red on Scott’s left side and a light blue on his right. The dark red stripes were still there, but they had become a side act, since this time the lighter stripes were far bolder than the dark red ones were.
At the end of each arm was a comically large sleeve cuff, which were both a light purple that matched the shirt underneath the jacket, with a darker purple bowtie tied at the collar. A boater hat like the one he remembered was on his head, but this one had a dark red ribbon circling the base of the circular section above the brim.
The pants were khaki colored, and featured two brightly-colored pouches on each leg. They each resembled the strap that came with Ring Fit Adventure, with red and blue joy-cons inserted into them. The pouches on each thigh matched the color above it, but the ones near the calves decided to mix things up and alternate their colors from the others.
On his feet, some seriously heavy-duty shoes replaced his usual sneakers. The shoes themselves were a darker brown than the khaki pants, while the treads carried on the two-color theme by brightly matching, again, the two sides of the jacket above it.
The mask, which thankfully came off easily like Ren’s did this time, was somewhere between a pair of goggles and glasses. The dark purple frame was thick, not just in terms of the thickness of the mask itself, but also in terms of the part around each lens. Lenses that were, apparently, prescriptions that matched his normal glasses. Sorta made it hard to get a decent look at the outfit’s details while it was off, but Scott managed. Unlike his normal glasses though, they were tinted with, say it with me now, a red and blue that matched the orientation of red and blue on the rest of the outfit, with a red left lens and blue right lens.
Come to think of it, the large, round lenses sorta reminded Scott of Daroach’s big ears. Whether that was actually an intentional design choice or something that just happened to line up, he wasn’t sure.
Scott put the mask back on just in time to see Ryuji looking at each of them up and down, taking in the snazzy getups.
"Jealous?" Ren asked with a small smirk.
"N-no!" Ryuji stammered, totally jealous. "I'm just tryin' to figure this out, same thing happened yesterday!"
"These are pretty sick, but are we gonna ignore the elephant in the room here?" Scott asked, motioning to the castle.
"I was gettin' to that!" Ryuji shouted in response.
Ren put his hand to his chin in a classic 'thinking' motion. "This means everything that happened yesterday was real, too."
"Hey!" A familiar voice interrupted their musings. "What are you guys doing back here?!"
"Us?! What are you still doing here?" Ryuji said, jabbing his finger in Morgana’s direction as he popped out from behind a corner.
"Like I told you, I still have business here. The shadows were making a commotion about the front courtyard, so I decided to check it out. Figures I'd find you three idiots back here when you barely managed to escape in one piece!" Morgana explained, giving them an eye-roll at the last part.
"Hey, I'm semi-competent at the very least!" Scott crossed his arms.
At that moment, a scream of agony rang out from somewhere inside the castle.
Scott’s stomach turned at the sound. He’d forgotten just how sh*tty things were here for a second, but that reminder socked him in the gut now.
Ryuji was just as shaken as Scott, if his face was any indication. "What the hell was that?!"
Morgana shifted a little on the spot. "Probably a slave they're torturing. It's especially loud today, but you'll hear that every now and then around here."
"How the f*ck are you so calm saying that?!" Scott shouted.
Ryuji, on the other hand, steeled his face in determination.
"Where are they?" He asked Morgana.
"You want me to take you to them? Why?"
Ryuji just glared in response, one that sent the crystal clear message of "why the f*ck do you think?!"
"Whatever, you've probably got your reasons. I'll guide you there, on one condition."
"And what's that?" Ren asked.
"You two have to come with. Ren and Scott, right?"
With a simple nod, Ren confirmed he was in.
Scott sighed. "Yeah, I guess I'm in."
He knew his time would be better spent finding a way out of the game, but maybe he'd find something here.
Besides, he couldn't just hear a scream like that and simply walk away. Scott wasn't normally very confrontational, but there were things he couldn't stand for. These things included having humanity's right to Madden revoked, the entire state of Ohio being plagued with a minor blue annoyance, and this.
In short, if he really needed to, Scott would step up.
And now was one of the times where he needed to… even if he knew none of this was real anyways.
Morgana was clearly pleased by their willingness to come along. "Glad that's settled! Now, follow me before any guards start checking out the racket out here."
"Phew… are they gone?" Ryuji asked while catching his breath.
The four of them had all made their way back to where they'd seen that kid prisoner the last time, just to find it was empty. Ryuji just had to run off and get noticed by guards while he was trying to check other cells, because of course he did.
Thankfully, Morgana had an idea. There was a small side room right across from where the previously-occupied cell was, and they had just enough time to duck in and out of sight before they got jumped.
This room was different than the others, somehow. It just had a different… feeling to it. Scott had no idea how to describe it, but it was definitely special somehow.
"What's with this room?" He asked, turning his gaze to Morgana, who had taken up a position standing on top of a large table in the center of the room.
"Well, how do I put this… it's a gap in the ruler's cognition. Well, maybe not a gap, it's really closer to a weak spot."
"Huh?"
Morgana sighed. "Right. Idiots. Okay, in the simplest of terms, shadows won't find us here. I call areas like this safe rooms, personally."
"You shoulda just led with that." Ryuji grumbled. "Anyways, I'm pretty sure those guards are still out there. I'm hearing a lot of metal scrapin' around, anyways."
"They're probably checking the rest of the area. No need to worry, shadows don't even know rooms like this exist in the palace."
"Wait, they don't? Aren't they guarding this whole place?" Scott took one of the chairs that surrounded the table. Sh*tty chairs, but they still worked like a charm when it came to holding asses.
"Maybe it'd work best if I started with the basics. After all, we're gonna need to wait out those shadows anyways."
"You keep saying 'shadows,' what do you mean by that?" Ren asked.
"Well to start, the ruler of this palace is also a shadow, not just the guards. A palace is the cognitive form of a location according to its ruler, existing alongside the real location and ruler. This castle represents the distorted desires in Kamoshida’s heart, in which he sees the school as if he were its king."
"Wait, this is all how Kamoshida sees Shujin? You're serious?" Ryuji chuckled, before his expression totally flipped into seething rage. He punched the stone wall beside him. "THAT PIECE OF SHIT!!!"
Scott flinched at that. "Jesus, how much do you hate this guy?"
Ryuji scoffed. "Oh, hate is nowhere near enough to describe how I feel about him. All the shit I deal with is thanks to that asshole!"
"You can't lose your head over this kind of thing. I don't know what happened between you two, but charging in thinking of your past instead of a strategy isn't going to help anyone." Morgana said, a serious look on his face. "Speaking of, I'm sure you two have been wondering about those outfits?"
"How the hell does that relate?" Scott raised an eyebrow.
"You'd be surprised. I mentioned earlier how this castle is all thanks to distortion in Kamoshida’s cognition, right? If you're not careful, that distortion could affect you, too. You need a will of rebellion to hold onto yourself, and to protect yourselves with. Your personas are manifestations of that rebellious spirit, and your outfits represent it as well."
"Look, I still don't know what the hell you're talking about, I'm just gonna think of it as a snazzy outfit and leave it at that."
"Well, I guess that works too." Morgana shrugged.
"Hold on," Ryuji half-raised his hand. "How come I'm not getting crap from this distortion stuff?"
"Well, it's mostly risky in the long-term, not counting the shadows that would likely kill you first. Plus, the way you fly off the handle at any mention of the ruler of this palace probably helps."
"Thanks… I think."
"Hold on, what about you, Morgana? What's the deal with… uh…" Scott said, vaguely motioning up and down the cat-like… thing.
"I'm a human just like you guys, duh!" He sounded offended by the question, tail bristling a bit as he answered.
"Yeah, no. You say you're not a cat, and you're definitely not human, so what the hell are you?"
"I really am a human! I just… lost my true form. From what I can tell." Morgana sounded really unsure about that, like he almost didn't even buy it himself.
"Sorry, from what you can tell?" Ryuji raised an eyebrow.
"Well, yeah! My true form got distorted, and I may or may not have lost all my memories too, but that's fine! I'll just keep investigating palaces and mementos until I can figure out how to get it back!" Morgana was nervous saying that. It was so obvious he had no idea how to get his 'true form' or whatever back, even Truth or Lies' sh*tty microphone could probably pick it up.
Actually, I’m probably overestimating Truth or Lies’ ability to actually function...
Morgana quickly changed the subject. "Whatever, we should be focusing on the infiltration! I got kicked around by Kamoshida too while I've been in here, so I'm definitely making him pay!"
"Oh, yeah!" Ryuji's face lit up, and he shrugged off his schoolbag. "I was thinking we could use some more stuff to get through guards with, so I got this!"
With that, Ryuji dug his hand into the unzipped bag and took out an entire f*cking pistol.
"W-WHOA!" Scott nearly fell off his damn chair. "Where the hell did that come from?!"
"Relax, it's just a model! It just makes sounds, doesn't even shoot caps or anything!" Ryuji waved his hands to reassure them, but the way-too-realistic model gun was sorta making that effort counterproductive.
"Wh- then that’s just a toy!" Morgana mewed.
"I mean, it could still scare 'em off, right? Oh, and I got some bandages, too!"
"Well at least one of those things is useful…" Morgana grumbled.
"Hold on, I'm not done yet!" Ryuji scowled at him. "So, since there were two of you, I balanced things out by getting both a small gun and a big gun!"
At this, Ryuji pulled out a f*cking RPG. Not the game genre, the gun. Rocket Propelled Grenade. A really small one, but it still barely fit into his bag.
"JESUS CHRIST, MAN!!!" Scott actually fell off his damn chair this time.
"What?! This one's a model too, y'know!" Ryuji shouted back.
"I am so glad shadows can't hear you idiots in here." Morgana said with a huff.
"Dibs on the small one." Ren said quickly, taking it from Ryuji before Scott could protest.
"C'mon, you're really sticking me with the clunky one? What the hell, Ren!" Scott protested anyways.
Ren shrugged. "Dibs are dibs." The small smirk on his face as he said that really annoyed Scott.
Morgana’s ears suddenly perked up. "Hey, shut up a second!"
"What?! Like I'm just gonna accept lugging this thing around everywhere!"
"No, like, actually shut up! I think the shadows are talking out there!" Morgana bounced off the table, and pressed his ear to the door. The other three hesitated, but followed suit after a moment.
The warbled voices of three guards could barely be made out, even with Scott taking off the boater hat to get himself closer to the door.
"...No luck for you either, huh?"
"Yeah. Damn intruders must be somewhere else, then. Keep on yer toes, they could be anywhere. If you spot 'em, kill 'em on sight."
"I guess we just go back to the training hall, then? Back to keeping an eye on the slaves?"
"Probably, yeah! That's our regular post right now, at least…"
"We best be extra vigilant with thieves around. Come on, let's get movin'."
The sound of metallic clanking started, and then faded into the distance. Morgana motioned to open the door out of the safe room.
Making sure the coast was clear before he spoke, Ryuji broke the silence.
"So they’re in some training hall, yeah? You know where that is, Morgana?"
Morgana nodded. "If I'm remembering right, it's just up ahead. Sounds like it'll be pretty heavily guarded though, you sure you're up to this?"
"Of course we are!" Ryuji growled.
"Alright, then. follow me."
Notes:
Happy Friday!
Check out my Tumblr (also Vexilanimous) for a better-quality version of the art at the bottom,
and as always, thank you for reading!
Chapter 6: TIP - Treat Every Gun As If It Were Loaded (This is Fun As Sh*t!)
Notes:
Remember when I said in the chapter 1 notes that all of the content and trigger warnings from Persona 5 (and Royal) would transfer over, since this is following the same plot for the most part? Yeah, this is where that comes into play. If you've played Persona 5, you know exactly what I'm talking about.
If you haven't, I wouldn't recommend reading anything past chapter 5. I mean, I'm not your dad, but I *highly* suggest either playing the game yourself if you can, or watching a playthrough. I'll try not to make this first arc a total downer, but I can't just downplay it either, y'know?
Please read safely, and I'll see you next week!So, if you really want to keep going and don't know what's to come...
TW: Physical abuse in non-graphic depictions as well as mentions. Some verbal abuse near the end of the chapter. Basically, Kamoshida being Kamoshida.
Chapter Text
"Two guards, twelve o'clock!" Morgana hissed, holding out his paw so the others wouldn't round the corner and expose themselves.
"Right, so we just need to beat them up, right?" Scott whispered, pulling out the whackin' cane.
"Underestimating enemies like that's a great way to wind up dead. I mean, we can probably take them, but we can't just rush in blindly!"
"Man, I wish I could back you guys up…" Ryuji sighed. "All I got's a couple toy guns, though…"
"Actually, come to think of it… Ren, Scott, you two still are holding onto those, right? I've got something I wanna try out." Morgana turned back to them with a mischievous grin on his face.
"Huh? What are we gonna do with guns that don't even shoot anything?" Scott asked.
"Just try firing them! I think this'll work, anyways…"
"Well, that's reassuring…" Scott grumbled.
Engaging the guards, which turned out to be a little fairy and another one of those plant lady things, Ren took the lead on Morgana’s little experiment. He pulled out the model gun, steadied his aim, and pulled the trigger…
“YAH!” The little fairy yelped in pain as a bullet that shouldn’t have existed tore a hole into one of its wings. It fell to the ground, making the plant thing yelp in surprise.
Seeing the opening, Scott readied the model RPG on his shoulder. That’s how they’re supposed to work, right? Whatever, at least he didn’t need to use a ton of effort on aiming with one of these things. His finger started to squeeze the trigger.
Well, here goes nothing…
TSS! Pffsh… BOOM!
Oh yeah, the model RPG definitely worked. Packed a real punch too, leaving the plant hanging on by a thread and the fairy blown away altogether. With a swift slash from Morgana, the team claimed their easy victory.
Scott regained his balance after almost falling over from the blast wave, just in time for Morgana to turn to address them.
“Heheh, surprised?” He asked them with a smirk.
“Surprised?! Of course I was f*cking surprised, why didn’t you say anything before I almost bowled myself over?!”
“Sheesh, that’s one way to react to getting a whole new tool in your repertoire. Though, I guess using this in hallways and smaller rooms wouldn’t be the best idea…”
“Now you figure that out…” Scott groaned. “Whatever, let’s just keep going.”
Ryuji joined the rest of the group from his hiding spot at the wall. “Holy shit, that was crazy! How the hell did you guys do that?! I mean, Ren was shootin’ bullets that weren’t in there, and I’m pretty sure the rocket part of that RPG is supposed to be glued on, yeah?!”
“Aren’t you the one who bought them?” Scott asked him.
“Well, I’ll do my best to bring the concept down to your level, Ryuji. So-”
“What’s the deal with you guys and the passive aggressive bullshit?!” Ryuji shouted, clearly tired of the whole thing.
“Keep it down!!! You want even more guards fighting us?!” Morgana hissed. “Anyways, everything in this world runs on cognition, right? Kamoshida sees Shujin as a castle he rules over, so that’s what Shujin in this world becomes. So, if you’ve got a gun that looks real enough to trick shadows, it doesn’t matter if it’s a model or not! Shadows think it’s something that can hurt them, and suddenly, it can! That was merely a theory ‘till just now, though.
“You rag on us for being loud, and then you tell me to set off a f*cking RPG?” Scott’s sarcasm was directed at Morgana this time.
“Well… uh. Look, I’m not an encyclopedia! It works, don’t look into it too hard!”
“It does work, I’ll give him that.” Ren said, taking a closer look at his model pistol.
“Come on, what are we standing around for?! We’re almost to the training hall, let’s go already!” Morgana yowled, already bouncing towards the door ahead.
“Oh yeah, I sorta forgot we were doing that.” Scott admitted.
It didn't take long to finally reach the training hall. Just a few turns and another beaten guard later, they were faced with its entrance.
The door itself was a bit larger than others they'd seen, but that wasn't the headliner here. No, the thing that stuck out was the huge banner draped above it.
Ryuji scoffed. "Kamoshida’s training hall of love? The hell is that shit supposed to mean?!"
Ren hesitantly placed his hand on the thick wood the door was made of.
"I guess we're about to find out."
Scott was gonna be sick. The first sight the group was greeted with as Ren pushed the door open was a big barred wall overlooking a court.
Again, the situation he was in briefly left Scott’s mind. Lined up on each side were more boys in sports uniforms, who all had a guard beating them with some sort of… thing. He didn’t have the brainpower to really figure out what each guard was holding, all of it was already dedicated to sheer f*cking horror. And this time, another emotion seemed to join the party. Rage.
He knew that was the point of the game making him come here, but they'd still done a damn good job of making him hate this guy.
"So, those rumors were true for the volleyball team too, huh…? Always had a feeling..." Ryuji said quietly, but he didn't stay quiet for long.
"THAT FUCKING BASTARD!" He suddenly yelled, kicking the bars in front of him.
"When are you gonna get it through your thick skull that we need to be quiet?!" Morgana hissed.
"Seriously?! You can see how f*cked up this, right?!" Scott gave up on staying quiet, too.
Ryuji started rattling at the door that led to the court. "Maybe there's like, a lock we can shoot off or something?"
"Don’t…" A weak voice floated over from inside. A boy who wasn't getting abused at that very moment leaned against the wall, hunched over in pain.
"What…?" Ryuji gasped.
"We stay obedient, we don’t get executed. Unlike you, once they get ahold of you all…"
"But… you can't just stay here!" Ryuji was practically pleading to the boy.
"Wait, that was your plan? Have me lead you to the slaves so you can let them out?!" Morgana interrupted.
"Well, yeah! These guys are trapped here getting treated like shit, we can't just leave them like that!" Ryuji turned, shooting a glare at Morgana that could cut steel.
Morgana rolled his eyes. "Again with the stupidity… it's kind of impressive by now, really." The damn cat spoke with the most irritating condescending tone.
“You’re shittin’ me, right?! I recognize these guys, I’m pretty sure they’re on the volleyball team Kamoshida runs!”
"No, they're not. They're more cognitive manifestations, not real people."
Like you're one to talk...
Ryuji looked ready to start yelling at Morgana again, but he let the cat continue. For now, at least.
"These are just like the castle itself, they represent how Kamoshida views the real-world versions of these people. The real person is also out there, just like the real Shujin Academy, so there's no point in trying to free them. They aren't humans who wandered in like you all are."
Morgana paused and got a good look through the bars that made up the wall.
"Still, that still means whoever these people are, Kamoshida treats them as slaves in the real world as well. More likely than not, they're being abused just like their cognitive counterparts in here." Morgana did look sickened at that idea. At least he wasn't heartless about the situation.
Not like that was providing much comfort, but it was better than the alternative.
Ryuji didn't stand down, though. "I can get some good photo evidence here. Could get the cops to… huh? My camera app ain't workin'!"
Ren furrowed his brow and pulled out his own phone. "Mine isn't either." He confirmed after a few seconds.
Sure enough, pulling out his own phone revealed that opening the camera app also immediately closed it. Didn't even have the courtesy to throw up an error message of any kind, even if it was just some stupid code he'd need to look up to get any information at all.
“The Navigator worked fine, but the camera’s off-limits?” Ren put his phone back into his pocket.
“Navigator?” Morgana turned to look at him. “What are you talking about?”
“I mean, we had to get here somehow, right? It’s some app.” Scott pulled up the navigator that was apparently on his phone too, and showed it to him.
“Interesting… wait, no, I’m getting distracted. We’re really risking getting captured again standing around like this, we should seriously get going!”
“Wait, before we go, I wanna memorize these guy’s faces. We can still work with this.” Ryuji said, turning back to the barred wall and taking a good hard look at the boys inside.
“...Got ‘em. Think there’s anyone else around here?”
It had taken some time (and a lot of nagging from Morgana), but they finally made it through the whole training hall so Ryuji could memorize who was getting abused. Scott tried to memorize a few as well, but it was impossible to focus on that task when he was also witnessing kids getting f*cking cannon-volleyballs shot at them.
Now, they just needed to get out in one piece. Things were looking promising, but right when they crossed the entrance hall to get to that vent they came in through, someone stood in their way.
There he was again, that Kamoshida guy, with guards at both sides and a sh*t-eating grin on his face. One of the guards even sported a suit of ornate gold armor.
“You knaves really came back here? It must take an impressive level of foolishness to risk crossing my path again.” He sneered at them.
“Oh yeah?! When I find the guys you’ve been beating the shit out of, you’re gonna get what’s comin’ to ya! I’m gonna wipe that stupid smirk right off!!!” Ryuji retorted, stamping his foot for emphasis.
“Oh, Sakamoto… How far the mighty have fallen. Once the star of the track team, now just a tiny traitorous dog making a racket when its bite really won’t do a thing…”
“Traitorous?” Ren asked with a growl.
“Why, the infamous ‘Track Traitor,’ of course! You’re saying you went along with him coming here without knowing the kind of person he was?”
Suddenly, Morgana’s condescending tone didn’t seem so bad anymore. Kamoshida’s words were really grating at Scott’s ears, and his nerves.
“Like that matters, coming from a piece of sh*t like you!” He yelled.
“You mean, it’s totally fine that he let his selfishness become the downfall of his entire team? Even after all that, he’s still going on his merry way, without even a little remorse for his actions?”
“It’s not like that!” Ryuji shouted, voice cracking a little.
“Hmph. I’m wasting my time here. Guards, kill them. Once you finish, get this garbage out of my sight.”
The suits of armor sprang to life for a moment before they burst apart. This time, instead of some small magical thing, what emerged were a trio of huge horses with two long, curved ram horns on each one’s head. The golden one was still on standby, at least for the moment.
“Ryuji, take cover!” Morgana shouted, before charging in with Scott and Ren.
They all were grouped close together, and one of the horned horses took that to its advantage by cutting off the spot they’d come from. They were surrounded.
Sh*t.
Summoning Arsene, Ren tried attacking one of the shadows with the dark energy his persona seems to specialize in.
The horse thing barely flinched.
“Gah, that one’s got some natural resistance to curse attacks!” Morgana realized. “Well then, how about a taste of ol’ reliable…”
Morgana got in what should have been a good swing against the enemy, but it just stood there, looking at its gash, wholly unimpressed.
“Uh oh.”
In the blink of an eye, the shadow had pivoted on its front hooves, and delivered a swift kick straight into Morgana’s… whole torso. More than his tiny chest, that was for sure.
Seeing the little guy flying right into the range of another enemy, Scott did some split-second strategizing and called upon Daroach, shooting a fireball at the thing before it could act.
Well, it did work to distract it away from Morgana, but now it was glaring at Scott.
Sh*t!
Scott readied the whackin’ cane, but he was pretty sure his light weapon wasn’t gonna do much damage to the huge f*cking horse. Ren clearly saw Scott’s fear there, as he shot his pistol into it. Again, the shadow just looked at the fresh gash in its shoulder and didn’t even flinch at it. Now it was pissed at Scott and Ren.
The two thieves shared a glance before the horse charged. Taking out one per horn, they joined Morgana on the castle floor.
Scott’s chest hurt like a bitch. He really hoped nothing was cracked in there, but he’d have to worry about that later. A soft chuckle came from Kamoshida a few feet away, the kind of chuckle that sent chills down your spine. After motioning to the guards to hold their attack, he approached them and dug a slipper-wearing heel into Morgana’s back.
“Pathetic.” Kamoshida sneered.
Ryuji, who could only watch the fight as it unfolded, fell to his knees in fear.
“You came here on a whim, right? Seems fitting for an impulse against me to spell the end of your miserable life, after everything that’s happened.”
“I-I didn’t…” Ryuji started to stammer, but Kamoshida didn’t bother listening.
“I mean, after I was kind enough to supervise the track team after the old coach was fired, you dared raise your hand at me?”
“Kindness my ass!” Ryuji said, finally mustering up a shout. “You physically abused the whole team, ‘cause of some dumb grudge!”
“And what of it? The track team was nothing but an eyesore, an obstacle in my own pursuits. Your little outburst let me drive my volleyball team to new heights! Or would another broken leg help the point come across?
“Dammit…” Ryuji hunched over, pounding the floor with both fists. “I’m gonna lose to you again… first you make it so I can never do track again, but you trashed the team too! Is that seriously not enough for you?”
“So that’s what happened…” Morgana managed, just prompting Kamoshida to dig his heel into his back even harder. “Ngh!”
“Silence! I’ll be dealing with you three first, and then…”
Kamoshida shot a warped, maniacal grin at Ryuji. “I’ll have the pleasure of dealing with you, Sakamoto.”
“Ryuji!” Morgana called out.
“Don’t let him win!” Ren grunted.
“Yeah, stop letting this asshole walk all over you already!”
Ryuji raised his head up from when he pounded the floor.
“Yeah… yeah, y’know what? You’re right.” Ryuji’s face was steeled in a renewed look of determination. “I already lost all the shit that’s important to me… I’m not letting you take anything else.” He growled as he slowly got to his feet.
“How cute. Words aren’t going to get you anywhere, though. You’re still going to watch as your little friends die because they sided with scum like you.”
“...You’re the scum.”
“What was that?” Kamoshida sneered.
“All you do is use people and hurt ‘em so you can get ahead. You’re the scum here, Kamoshida.”
“You insolent little- guards, silence him!”
“NO!” Ryuji yelled, pointing right at Kamoshida. “You’re not keepin’ me quiet anymore! So get that shit-eating GRIN OFF YOUR FACE!”
A wave of power burst from Ryuji. He suddenly dropped to his knees again, clutching his head and trembling.
Scott couldn’t hear anything, but…
Is that…?
The guards watched him curiously as he writhed on the floor, but that didn’t last long. Supporting himself on his elbow, the other three thieves watched as Ryuji stared up at Kamoshida, through a new mask. Getting to his feet once more, Scott watched in awe as he grasped at one side of the silver mask that looked like the top half of a skull…
And ripped it off.
Chapter 7: What Are You, a Doorway Pirate?
Notes:
Short chapter this week, but the next two are real long! So look forward to it! :)
TW: Kamoshida continues to be Kamoshida. (Sexualization of a minor (Ann) that mirrors canon, everyone else is rightfully very pissed)
Chapter Text
Kamoshida had to shield his eyes as blue flames were unleashed from Ryuji, and Scott took the distraction as a chance to get to his feet. Seemed like Ren and Morgana had the same idea, since they weren’t too far behind.
The blue flames started to thin, revealing a whole new Ryuji. He wore a leather jacket similar to Ren’s but shorter, with a deep red neck scarf hung over it, contrasting the bright yellow gloves sporting studs at the knuckles. Behind him was a skeleton pirate, who rocked a similar outfit that added a hat and an arm cannon into the ensemble. That wasn’t the coolest thing about it though, far from it. No, the sickest sh*t was the fact that the pirate was riding a miniature ship like it was a goddamn skateboard.
All Scott could say was “Whoa.”
Kamoshida’s cocky attitude faltered. “H-him too?!”
Ryuji raised his head, revealing a smug-as-hell smirk. He was about to turn the tables on the loser king, and he was gonna enjoy it.
“Damn, you guys have been feeling like this the whole time? This fuckin’ rocks! And with this power… it’s finally time to serve up a hot plate of payback! Now, who wants some?!”
“Your mockery will be the last mistake you make!” The guard with gold armor finally burst into its true form as a shadow, a lancer on horseback. The horse it rode on didn’t have horns like the others that were still around, but it was even bigger than them. The lancer looked pretty tough, too.
Still, Ryuji looked even tougher. As he let out a battle cry, his smirk grew even bigger.
“Let’s go, Captain Kidd… BLAST ‘EM AWAY!”
From Captain Kidd’s arm cannon, a ball of lightning started crackling to life, hitting one of the horned horses and knocking it off its feet (or hooves, maybe). Turning his attention to the second of three riderless horses, Captain brought down a spontaneous lightning strike straight into it, doing a kickflip with his miniature ship as he did so.
Holy sh*t, that’s the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!
Making quick work of the final horned horse with another bolt of lightning and a sweet ollie, Ryuji finally set his sights on the Lancer. It was clearly nervous under that thick armor it wore.
“S-so fast, how did-”
“Shaddap and die already!” Ryuji summoned his own weapon, a heavy lead pipe that appeared with a blue flare. He took a huge jump into the air, bringing both the weight of the pipe and his fall crashing down into the very center of the lancer’s helmet. It rang like a bell, the sound and the impact disorienting it.
“That’s our opening, go all out!” Morgana called to the rest of the team.
Scott grinned, starting to charge alongside Ren and Morgana. He felt himself speed up with the power of his persona, the castle around him becoming nothing but a blur as he whacked with an impossible speed, a speed that the other three were matching. Finally skidding to a stop near Ren and Morgana, with the enemy shadow behind him, Scott turned just in time to see the lancer f*cking explode, launching Ryuji away from it, and making him land face-first alongside the rest of the party.
Scott winced. That’s gotta hurt.
Ryuji had already jumped back to his feet though, so hopefully it didn’t hurt that much.
“Phew… how about that, you bastard?!” Ryuji spat as he caught his breath.
“That was awesome! Looks like you had the potential too, Ryuji!” Morgana mewed.
“Heh, you think I care about a few measly guards? You still aren’t getting it, are you?” Kamoshida’s infuriating cockiness was back. Could this guy seriously not tone it down for five seconds?!
“King Kamoshida~!” Wait, someone was coming from the the entrance hall’s upper level. Looking up to the stairs Scott saw-
Wait, what?!
That was the blonde girl in Kamoshida’s car yesterday! Come to think of it, wasn’t she also in the desk in front of Ren’s? Either way, here she was now, in purple lingerie and goddamn cat ears?!
Actually, no. This was wrong. Well, of course it was wrong for all of the obvious reasons, but at the same time… Scott had only really seen her the one time, but she didn’t look anywhere near happy around Kamoshida. This one was skipping towards him, seemingly completely fine with… all of this.
“Takamaki?!” Ryuji shouted. “What the hell are you doing here with this perv?!”
“Hold on, I think that’s another… what was it… cognitive person?” Scott said, holding out his arm before Ryuji could charge in and tackle the guy.
"Yeah, I think she is! Nice catch, Scott!" Morgana mewed.
Kamoshida placed one hand on Takamaki’s shoulder, God that was so gross to look at.
“Let me guess. Jealous?”
“No, this is just sad.” Scott said with a grimace.
“Sad? This is my castle, where servants are begging to serve me, hand and foot! How is that sad?”
“You bastard!” Ryuji spat, disgust clear in his voice. “We’ll see how goddamn smug you are when we expose all the shit you’ve done, and the shit you’re still doing!!!”
“Oh, feel free to visit whenever you’d like. This’ll be our little game of cat and mouse, with your feeble attempts at exposing me ending with your deaths!” Kamoshida started cackling maniacally.
“Right now, though? I need some private time after dealing with you lowlifes. Guards!” Kamoshida snapped, and another row of guards immediately appeared out of nowhere in front of him.
“Crap, he’s trying to wear us down! We gotta go, guys!” Morgana yowled, already bouncing towards the room with the vent shaft out.
“Wait, we’re just gonna run?!” Ryuji protested, but was already catching up anyways.
“I dunno about you man, but I’d rather not die today!” Scott said over his shoulder.
“We’ll be back.” Ren reassured him. “We’re taking this guy down.”
It was one hell of a run, but all four of them managed to make it back to the palace entrance in one piece.
“Are you okay?” Ren asked Ryuji, who had his hands on his knees and was panting hard.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Standing up straight, he turned to the other three thieves behind him. “More importantly, I wasn’t wearing this last I checked!” Bright yellow gloved hands motioned up and down Ryuji’s self.
“More importantly?” Scott asked with a chuckle.
“I told you this before, moron! The outfit represents your will of rebellion protecting you from distortion!” Morgana explained, irritated he had to go over this again.
“So it’s pretty much required, huh…”
“It looks good on you.” Ren pointed out, and Scott had to agree.
“Is that a compliment…? Whatever, at least it’s not whatever the hell Scott’s got going on.”
“Hey! I’ll have you know I’ve got a suit a lot like this back home, and it has its uses it works really well for!”
“What the hell are you wearin’ something like that for…?” Ryuji wondered as he scanned the getup through his tinted mask lenses. Well, he did before he suddenly shook his head. “I’m gettin’ off track. This mask… it’s a skull, right?”
“Top half of one, yeah.” Scott nodded.
“What’s the deal with that…?” Ryuji absentmindedly tapped at the mask.
“It’s based on what your personal definition of rebellion- actually, I don’t think there’s a point in repeating myself to you, is there?”
“...Yeah, you might be right.”
“Okay, new explanation, don’t worry about it. That should cover a lot of other questions you think of as well.”
“Hold on, I’ve got something.” Scott half-raised his hand. “After all the bullsh*t that happened in there, isn’t the real Kamoshida gonna be, pun intended, royally pissed at us?”
“Now that’s a good question!” Morgana grinned up at him. “No, the real world’s Kamoshida is none the wiser. His shadow are the parts of his personality that he suppresses, either from the world around him or from himself. They’re two sides of the same coin, looking in totally different directions.”
“Oh, thank fuck… I was thinkin’ about that too, what a relief.” Ryuji sighed.
“So that means we’re good to leave now.” Ren confirmed.
“Well… yeah. But you’re gonna help me out now that I’ve helped you, right?”
“Huh? Where’s this comin’ from?” Ryuji looked down at him.
“What, you guys thought I was being so patient just for goodwill’s sake?” Morgana tilted his head, looking back up at him.
“You hadn’t said a damn thing about this till just now! You didn’t hear him say anything like that, right guys?”
“This is the first I’m hearing about this.” Ren nodded.
“Yeah, you really expected us to be reading between lines while running for our lives?” Scott crossed his arms.
“Erm… yes?” Morgana shrugged, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“We’ll think about it.” Ren said noncommittally.
“You’ll think about it?! But this is my real form we’re talking about! I don’t know if I can get through Mementos alone, you’re really fine leaving me behind, stuck as a stupid cat?!” Morgana was hopping mad, literally. He was bouncing up and down, and unless Scott was seeing things, he was pretty sure he was literally steaming too.
“We’ve got our own shit to deal with.” Ryuji shrugged, before crouching down to get closer to Morgana’s eye level. “Still, thanks for the help, cat. You’re pretty gutsy, for a cat.”
“I’m NOT a cat! Don’t you three walk away from me, this conversation isn’t over!”
Yeah, Morgana’s rant was already fading into the distance as they exited Kamoshida’s palace.
Chapter 8: You've Got Nothing Else Going On, So You All Might As Well
Notes:
Apparently, AO3's rich text editor doesn't support color text highlights. That kinda blows, so do me a solid and imagine that the IM name tags match each member's chat icon color, and Scott's matches the blue border's color.
If I find out later that text highlighting is indeed possible, I'll come back and add it! For now, thank you for reading!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Oh my God, we’re finally out of there... “ Scott finally got to untense his shoulders for the first time since they got intercepted in the castle’s entrance hall, possibly even earlier than that.
“Right? I’m damn tired…” Ryuji groaned. “How you holdin’ up, Ren?”
“I could use a nap…” He admitted.
“I hear that. But this is about to get real exciting, y’know? I’ve got all those faces fresh in my brain, if we can get even one of ‘em to open up about that prick, that’s it for him!” Ryuji had a huge grin on his face, and a determined twinkle in his eyes.
That was, until he realized something. “Actually, you guys are in, right? I know I’ve been draggin’ you guys around a ton, but I can’t just let this whole deal go, either.”
Ren didn’t even need to stop and think about that. “Of course I’m in. You thought I’d quit after all that?”
Scott needed a second, but it didn’t take him long to decide. “I guess I’m in too, yeah.”
“Hell yeah!” Ryuji cheered, pumping his fist. “You guys are in Yongen-Jaya, right? The train’s gonna be crowded as hell for a while, so let’s get some grub! It’s on me, on one condition.”
“And what condition is that?” Ren asked.
“I gotta know what you guys’ deal really is, especially now that you guys know my bullshit past. Besides, I’d be willing to bet money that Kamoshida was the one gettin’ all those rumors going, no other way shit like that would get leaked that fast.”
“Why am I not surprised.” Scott deadpanned. “I’m cool with that, but Ren’s… better at telling the whole story.”
Well, seeing as Scott was only there in lore terms, that technically wasn’t a lie.
Ren hesitated, but only for a moment. “Yeah. I can tell you.”
“Hell yeah then, I’ll show you a place.”
“You WHAT?!”
If the place wasn’t already super crowded, that comment from Ryuji would probably be loud enough to turn a few heads. Ryuji paused his face-stuffing after Ren got to the assault charge, so suddenly that the cutlet he’d been in the middle of picking up was just chilling in midair, waiting for the chopsticks to finish the job already.
“Yeah, and now we’re here on probation.” Ren sighed. He’d barely touched the beef bowl he ordered, now that Scott thought about it. He was sorta too busy fumbling with his chopsticks to notice earlier.
I guess we’re both homesick, huh…
Scott’s chopsticks slipped in his hand again, making the clump of rice he’d been trying to pick up fall into the bowl again.
...Wait, what am I thinking? He’s not real, he doesn’t get homesick. How’d I forget that?
“I woulda punched the guy in the face in a situation like that, you’ve got some crazy restraint.”
“Pretty sure that’s just a you thing.” Scott interjected.
“Even if it is, a guy like that still deserves it.” Ryuji said. “Anyways, that still doesn’t explain your deal, so spill.”
“That’s true... we’re on probation together, but I still don’t know much about you, Scott.”
“What do you mean, ‘my deal?’ I don’t think I have a different deal from Ren here.” Scott’s chopsticks slipped again.
“Sh*t…” He muttered under his breath.
“Seriously, dude? I may be stupid, but I’m not an idiot. Your pasty white ass is handling those things worse than a tourist. You haven’t been in Japan long, have you?”
Oh. He wasn’t expecting to get called out on that. Well, if it came up anyways…
“Yeah, you’re right. I’ve lived in Ohio basically my whole life, ‘till just now.”
“So what got you movin’ to Ren’s hometown? Folks moved for work or something?”
...Sure, that’s what he was gonna roll with. “Yeah.”
“Man, that’s another layer of bullshit for ya, then. You just got here, and then right after that you gotta up and move for probation junk? That sucks!”
“...Yeah. It really does.”
--IM LOG--
-Untitled Group Chat-
[Ryuji] yo!! Im texting you guys so ik i got the chat ids right, youre seeing this?
[Scott] I don’t see anything
[Ryuji] you smartass, you SO can!
[Ren] Group DM? Good idea.
[Ryuji] yeah! This way we can keep each other posted all at once
[Ryuji] anyone have any witty name ideas? I’m not good at that sorta thing
[Ren] Hmm…
[Scott] Oh, i’ve got one!
[Scott] Team F*cked
[Ryuji] jesus, you do that in texts too?
[Scott] Do what??
[Ryuji] whatever, im never gonna figure out what's up with that am i.
[Ren] Team F*cked… That’s not bad, actually.
[Ren] We all got fucked over somehow, it’s pretty accurate.
--Ren changed the group DM name to Team F*cked.--
[Ryuji] youre keeping the thing?
[Ren] It’s a little funnier that way, at least to me.
[Scott] I still have no idea what you guys are talking about
[Ryuji] we can get back to that later if we really need to, rn i wanted to go over the plan of action
[Ryuji] idk if you heard, but theres no class tomorrow
[Ryuji] weve got some bullshit volleyball thing kamoshida runs so he can show off instead
[Ryuji] that means weve got the chance to wander around and ask people stuff without lookin weird af
[Ren] Good timing, that’s perfect.
[Scott] You’re the only one who was memorizing faces, though
[Scott] What are we gonna do to help?
[Ryuji] i bet class number and some basic features will be enough
[Ren] I guess we’ll see how it goes.
[Ryuji] idk about you guys, but im so tired i could nod off like rn
[Scott] Yeah, i’m beat too… Maybe it’s cause of that other world? That sounds like a likely explanation for something like this, at least
[Ren] Sounds plausible to me.
[Ryuji] alright, no stayin up all night then! We gotta keep our brains sharp so we can get some actual info tomorrow
[Ren] Yeah, I’m in bed right now.
[Scott] Lmao yeah, i’m texting all this even tho I’m literally in the bunk above Ren
[Ryuji] same brain then! Good, let’s expose the shit out kamoshida
[Ryuji] uh, starting tomorrow though
--LOG END--
The lights were already off in Leblanc’s attic, so Scott had to fumble a little before finding his charger and plugging in his phone.
Stuck in a video game and it still makes me charge my phone…
Finally finding it and clicking it into the port, he let himself fall back onto his pillow.
Still… stuck in a video game. For three whole days. God, I hope I find a way out soon…
“Hey, Scott.” From the bunk below him came Ren’s voice, speaking carefully.
“Yeah?”
“How come you didn’t mention anything about your real home before now? If you’re alright with me asking.”
Real home…? He doesn’t know just how on the nose that is.
“I don’t know. I mean, it's not like it really came up, but…” He trailed off. He didn’t know what he was actually gonna say there.
“You didn’t want to get yourself worked up over this dumb situation?” Ren guessed.
“...Yeah. Something like that.”
"Well, don't feel like you need to bottle all of this up, Scott. You can talk to me. I mean, we're in this together, so it'd be a real dick move if I didn't."
In this together...?
I mean, yeah. Keep telling yourself that, I guess…
"...I'll let you know." Scott lied.
--4/13--
Okay, now that they managed to sneak away from their match at the beginning of the day, the real task on Scott, Ren, and Ryuji’s minds finally got started.
Scott didn’t think this would be easy by any means, but…
“Hey, are you okay? What happened?”
“Kamoshida did that to you, right?”
Ren was thinking about how he phrased his questions, but Ryuji had absolutely no tact whatsoever. Scott reached up and smacked him on the back of the head.
“Asking ‘em straight like that isn’t gonna make them want to open up, dumbass.”
“Saying that we want ‘em to open up doesn’t help either, dumbass!”
“Guys.” Ren interjected before a full-on slap fight could break out.
The student they were talking to picked at the edges of the bandages on his face. “N-no, this is all from practice! Why would you three even want to know? Are you gonna do something?”
“We’re gonna expose Kamoshida for the abusive shithead he is!” Ryuji said proudly.
“You don’t have any proof though, right? You can’t prove something that isn’t happening, so just leave me alone!”
“Whoa, we aren’t gonna tell anybody where we got anything from! You don’t gotta worry!”
“I don’t know what you’re really trying to pull, but I’m not getting involved. Period.” He was trying to sound matter-of-fact, but his voice was trembling as he spoke. That said, they already screwed this one up.
“Hallway. Now.” Scott stated, specifically looking at Ryuji.
“But-” Ryuji tried to protest.
“We’re regrouping.” Scott said, shutting those protests down. “Come on.”
“The hell was that?!” Ryuji asked as soon as they were in the hallway.
“Really? What the hell was that? Bein’ that pushy isn’t gonna work here! Besides, there’s no way we were gonna get anything from him.”
“And what makes you so sure of that?”
“Segments like this always make you jump through hoops before you get anything you can actually use. It’s always some big chain of he-said-she-said that eventually gets you what you’re trying to find out.”
Ryuji just glared at him for a moment, before reaching up and flicking him in the forehead.
“Ow! What was that for?!”
“This ain’t some damn game we’re playin’ here! Take this seriously, man!” Ryuji scowled at Scott.
Easy for you to say…
“Hey, we aren’t going to get anywhere with you guys arguing the whole time. I say we split up, so we can fit more questions in before the day’s over.” Ren said, putting his arm between them to break the shared death stare.
"Fine. Okay, I've got one in mind that I’m not a hundred percent sure of the guy’s class number, but I've got a couple I do know for sure. Ren, There's a guy in 3-C, and Scott, I'm leaving the guy in 1-B to you. That's on the third floor with the other first-year classes."
"Alright, got it." Scott set his sights on the stairs to the third floor. Actually, before he left…
"Hey, Ryuji?"
"’Sup?"
"Try not to scare anyone else off, will ya?"
Ryuji just rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
There he is.
The guy reading something on the bulletin board between rooms had some bruises and a bandaged arm. Gotta be the 1-B kid.
"Jeez, that looks painful. Your arm okay?"
"H… huh?" The kid turned to look at him.
"I said that looks painful. The heck made you need a bandage that big?"
"Oh… I'm fine, just something from volleyball practice…" He went back to fixing his gaze on the bulletin board.
So far so good… okay, time to reel this one in!
"Something like that from volleyball? Seems really big to just be some sport thing, though."
"I guess you'd be surprised. Though, Mishima's definitely getting worse in those special coaching sessions-" He cut himself off. He knew he wasn’t supposed to say that, but he hadn't caught it in time.
Gotcha, you slippery fish.
Before the volleyball victim could try to cover his ass, the intercom above them crackled to life with a few mellow bell tones.
"Attention Shujin Academy, All scheduled games have ended. Please stay safe going home."
The kid tried to look surprised. "W-wow, day's over already? I better get going!"
"Hope the arm gets better soon!" Scott tried to call after him, but if he'd heard him say that he didn't show it as he practically ran for the stairs.
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] dammit, times up.
[Ryuji] i struck out, what abt you guys
[Ren] No luck.
[Scott] Same, but i do have a new lead!
[Scott] Where are we gonna regroup? i'll fill you guys in there
[Ryuji] courtyard work for you guys?
[Ren] Sounds good.
[Scott] Sweet, meet you there
--END LOG--
The courtyard between buildings looked unbelievably dreary under the overcast sky. It was the sort of dreary you'd normally only find in some bummer movie, where the FX guys had a field day with the color correction. This may have been a video game world, but Scott’s current status as effectively being a sentient NPC apparently meant there wasn’t a perceivable difference between this world and the real one. Which meant this dreary-ass atmosphere was one hundred percent natural.
Scott had to look around for a second, but he caught sight of Ren waiting near the vending machines. Untying his usual light blue hoodie that had been tied around his waist over the gym uniform and putting it on as he walked, Scott made his way to him.
"Ryuji isn't here yet? I figured being on the top floor meant I'd be showing up last." Scott said as he walked into the cranny they were regrouping at.
"Dunno what's keeping him." Ren shrugged.
"Hey," Someone was coming in behind Scott, but that wasn't Ryuji’s voice. Scott turned around to see…
Oh sh*t, that’s her!
Standing in front of them was the same girl Scott had seen in Kamoshida’s car, and they all saw as the scantily-clad cognitive being in the castle. The gym outfit was baggy over her slender build, but she was pulling it off like it was a trendy oversized sweater. Scott couldn’t tell what emotion was on her face, though. There definitely was one, but it was weirdly hard to tell if it was one of concern, anxiety, or maybe even one of just being so tired. Hell, maybe it was a combination of two of those, or possilby even all three.
"You're the transfer students, right?"
"Wait, how’d you know?" Scott asked.
"Well, you do both sit right behind me. Even if you didn't, there aren't many other Americans to guess about, are there?"
"Oh. Yeah, that makes sense." Jeez, with all the crazy sh*t around Kamoshida and that cognitive version, Scott had sorta forgotten she was also in the same class.
"We're waiting for someone, I don’t think now's really a good t-" Ren fidgeted with his bangs nervously.
"Don’t worry, I don't need any more than a second. I just wanna know what the deal is with you guys, there’s no way you were that late just from some paperwork. And with all those rumors flying around-"
"What do you want with 'em, Takamaki?" Ryuji finally showed up, stopping a few feet behind her.
"What do you want? They don't even share a class with you." Takamaki shot back.
"What, is hanging out with someone outside of your class banned here?" Scott interjected.
Takamaki groaned. "Look, just- you guys are planning on doing something to Mr. Kamoshida, aren't you?"
"What?"
"Oh, I see. So the rumors about you two goin' out aren't just hot air, huh?" Ryuji said. "If you had any idea what he's really like deep down, you'd dump him in five seconds flat. And those five seconds would all be spent saying the words 'it's over.' Trust me."
"Deep down…? What is that supposed to mean?" Takamaki was trying to sound offended, but somehow, it didn't sound all too genuine.
Ryuji hesitated. "...Never mind. You wouldn't know what I was talking about anyway."
"Look, I don’t know what it is you're planning. What I do know is that people are already talking about you three asking people questions randomly. No one's going to help you, so just save yourself the trouble."
"It wasn’t random-" Scott started, before Ren elbowed him in the arm. "Ow!"
"I can't make you do anything, but I just wanted to come and warn you. Like I said, just needed a second." And with that, she turned around and walked away without waiting for an answer.
"Jeez, what's her deal…?" Ryuji muttered "She wasn't like that in middle school…"
"She said 'warn,' right? Should be worried about that?" Scott asked.
"Dude, we can summon huge monster things to shoot lightning and shit. Whatever she means, I'm pretty sure we can handle it. That ain't what we're here about anyways!"
"You said you had another lead?" Ren tilted his head a little as he asked.
"Yup, the kid you sent me to question accidentally let a name slip, we’re looking for a guy named Mishima!" Scott said with a grin.
"You do realize this is just another lead though, right? We still got jack shit on proof."
"Well, yeah, but we've done a good bit of asking around by now. If we don't get our proof from Mishima, it's gotta be wherever we're going next."
Ryuji flicked Scott on the forehead again.
"Oww! What is it with you guys and roughing me up?!"
"You're doing it again, dude! This is serious shit we're doing, act like it already!"
"I'm not sure if he can be serious." Ren pointed out.
"I mean- wait, what are we standin' around arguing for?! We gotta find Mishima before he goes home!"
Notes:
This has been a birthday upload from me! Actually, I think I'm going to make today's a double update to celebrate... 👀
With that in mind, that makes next week's update fairly short. Despite that, I will say it's going to be the biggest update so far...If you know, you know.
Look forward to it!
Chapter 9: That's How This Goes... Right?
Notes:
This is the second part of a double birthday update! If you just got here and missed chapter 8, go read that first!
Chapter Text
“Hey, there he is! We aren’t too late!” Ryuji cheered as they saw a boy sling his school bag over his shoulder.
Everything below his spiky blue-black hair was bruised in at least one place. With that, and the huge bandage on his arm, the sight of the guy made Scott’s stomach turn again. The situation was already f*cked up enough, but this kid looked more banged up than Scott was after defeating the Supreme Leader of the Dick Vitale timeline. And he was banged up pretty badly from that fight.
How is nobody looking into this…?
“Hey, we gotta talk.” Ryuji said, in a stern way that made Mishima’s eyes widen.
“S-Sakamoto? What do you want? And you’re with those…”
“Relax, we just wanna talk.” Ryuji said in a tone that was absolutely not helping his case.
“Please excuse Ryuji, I’m starting to wonder if he was raised by wolves." Scott added.
“Hey!” Ryuji turned back to pout at him.
“Scott and I only just started here, but seeing how badly some of the volleyball players are hurt was really worrying us. Is everything okay on the team?” Ren said, succeeding far more than Ryuji at sounding genuinely concerned.
“Of course they are!” Mishima said quickly.
“C’mon man, what’s he doin’ to keep you quiet about the ph--” Ryuji started, but Scott smacked him on the back of the head again.
“What he meant to ask is, where’d you get all those bruises?”
“P-practice! Seriously, that’s all!” Mishima was obviously lying, but how were they going to convince him to-
“What’s going on here?”
Sh*t.
Kamoshida, the real one, had just emerged from the hallway that led to the entrance of the school, and he did not look happy.
“Mishima, are you ditching practice? You know it’s about to start.” He looked down at the boy, who was trembling now.
“S-sorry, I’m not f-feeling well today…” Mishima whimpered.
“If you let little colds keep you from practice, that crappy form’s never going to get better, you know. Or would you rather quit altogether?”
“Are those ears on your head just for show? He said he’s not feeling well.” Ryuji growled, stepping towards Kamoshida.
“You better back off there, Sakamoto. Any little thing could get you expelled by now.”
Ryuji took half a step back. “Bastard…” He mumbled.
“Same for the both of you.” Kamoshida now glared at Ren and Scott. “You both know you were warned that you’d be out of here if you so much as take a step out of line.”
“We’re just passing through.” Ren said.
“Yeah. Nice playing today.” Scott didn’t even try to make that sound genuine, it wasn’t like Kamoshida was going to care.
“Flattery isn’t going to get you anywhere if you get expelled. Come on Mishima, you’re keeping the rest of the team waiting.” Yeah, he didn’t care.
Called it.
“...Okay. I’m coming.” He sounded so… hollow. Like he was already dead inside.
Jesus…
Kamoshida shot the group a dirty look, before he nodded at Misima and started to make his way back down the hallway he’d come from. The volleyball player hesitated.
“There’s no point in trying to prove it.” He half turned his head and spoke over his shoulder, with that same haunting tone in his voice.
“What?” Scott wasn’t expecting that. This was the moment where you were supposed to finally get some key information, this conversation was too eventful to not be.
Right?
“The parents, the staff, they all know… they’re not doing anything, but they know. So even if you did prove it… nothing would change.”
Scott couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “So you’re just going to do nothing…?”
“Don’t pretend you know what I’m going through. And Sakamoto… you should know best that this whole quest you’re on is pointless.”
Mishima walked away.
Scott could feel the shared feeling of horror in the air.
Ren was the first one to break the silence. “...What are we going to do now?”
“I dunno… but I’ll figure it out. Maybe I can get one of those other guys to talk if I try again.” Ryuji stated.
“...Is there anything we can do?” Scott wondered aloud.
“There’s gotta be something. And if there isn’t… I’ll just make it myself.”
--4/14--
-AFTERNOON-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] yo, i still need to take another crack at those other guys but i had another idea
[Scott] Damn, ryuji had a thought?
[Ryuji] shaddap!!!
[Scott] Lmao
[Ren] What’s your idea?
[Ryuji] oh yeah
[Ryuji] so i was thinking, maybe takamaki knows something
[Scott] Cause she's dating the guy we're after?
[Ryuji] no, but maybe thatll give her some extra info
[Ryuji] i thought of it cause her bff is on the starting lineup
[Ryuji] shiho suzuis her name, i remember them hanging out even back in middle school
[Scott] Is she really gonna be up to helping us though?
[Scott] Didn’t sound like that yesterday
[Ryuji] yeah its a long shot for sure
[Ryuji] i dunno… maybe ill try it later
[Ryuji] ill see what i can find between classes, and then well regroup when the days over
[Ryuji] same spot good?
[Scott] Sure
[Ren] Works for me.
--END LOG--
Scott hadn’t really realized how joined at the hip he and Ren were since he got there. Other than splitting up to question the volleyball guys, They'd been side by side pretty much the entire time. But Ren was making a stop at the school store to try to nab some snacks before they ran out, so Scott was going to the courtyard ahead of him.
It's sorta like how Terry and Jeb are, come to think of it…
Man, he really needed to quit stalling and start looking for ways out already. It had already almost been a whole week since he found himself in here…
Scott was so wrapped up in his train of thought that he almost ran straight into someone next to the courtyard door. He barely managed to stop in time, but he kept himself from colliding with her.
"Sorry, I spaced out for a second…"
Scott trailed off as the girl turned, looking like she had been distracted a moment ago too.
But, she had a huge bruise on her head just above her eye, a few scattered bandages, and a knee brace sleeve that looked just like the one Rex always wore on his arm…
"It’s okay, I was in the way… are you alright?"
Sh*t, am I staring?
"Oh, uh, sorry. It's nothing. Are you okay?" He said, motioning to the same spot the girl's bruise was on his own forehead.
"Oh… yeah, I’m fine."
That same hollow voice…
"Hold on," she seemed eager to change the topic. "Aren’t you one of the transfer students?"
"Geez, do I really stick out that much?" Scott said, trying to crack a smile for her.
"Hehe, I guess you do, no offense. It's just, don't listen to all the rumors flying around."
"I haven't really been paying attention to 'em. Don't really see a reason to." Scott shrugged.
"Good. I know it's not any of my business, but I'm glad you're holding up."
"Eh, I've had worse. Sorta learned how to tune out stuff like that after a certain Chibi-Robo incident."
Shiho laughed a little. "You really are a goofball, huh… not in a bad way like people are saying, though. I know someone who's always getting misunderstood because of her looks, so I just hoped you weren't going through the same thing…"
There was a beat of silence as Scott tried to think of something to say back.
As aware as he was of the reality (in more ways than one) of his situation, he couldn't help but feel really grateful about someone at this damn school that wasn’t a main character being a decent human being towards him. Hearing nothing but stupid rumors about you beating up some guy you haven't even really met as you walk through the hallways of a school you shouldn't even be in will do that to you no matter where you are, Scott guessed. He knew it was for worldbuilding or whatever, but it was still crazy to him how nobody even tried to wait till he was out of earshot before sh*t-talking him.
Actually, it sorta caught him off-guard to suddenly hear something that wasn’t some bullsh*t accusation. Scott hadn't even realized he had no idea how to actually respond until the silence officially became awkward, and that hadn't even hit before he saw that Shiho's face was suddenly apologetic.
"Sorry, I guess I started rambling a little there… I should be getting to practice, though. Wozniak-kun, right? I'm Shiho Suzui. It was nice to meet you!"
She gave a half-hearted smile and a wave, and then walked off.
"Just call me Scott…" Scott mumbled, but it was just to himself since Suzui was already too far away to hear him.
Ren suddenly emerged from the crowd in the hallway. "So they only had one melon bread left, but if you want- hey, Scott, are you alright?"
"...Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, did you say melon bread?"
"Yo…" Ryuji greeted them, leaning on one of the vending machines and looking very dejected.
"No luck, huh?" Ren asked, setting down his bag on the table and unwrapping the melon bread.
"That obvious? Yeah, even when I could get someone to talk, they were all spittin' the same script Mishima did yesterday. Seriously, this is just turning into a big fat dead end!"
"And there's not much else we could do… We don't have any concrete evidence that's outside the castle, and sneaking around for some is too risky…" Ren murmured, before taking a bite.
Scott quickly glanced at the both of them. "You guys seriously don't get it? It's obvious what we need to do now!"
He just got blank stares in response.
"We need to do something in that castle! I mean, I don’t know what yet, but I know it's gotta be something there!"
"Very smart deduction… for an asshole!"
"Hey!" Scott glared at Ryuji.
"H-hold on, I didn’t say that!" Ryuji said, whipping his head around looking for who really spoke.
"Come on, it was too high-pitched for Ren’s voice, and there's no one else out here, so-"
"Okay, I'm just gonna retract that compliment now. You all are still assholes, though."
A black cat with white paws that looked like little socks was trotting up to the table they were gathered around, before hopping up and… glaring at them?
"You really thought you could leave me behind like that and get off scot-free? Did nobody teach you basic manners as kids?"
"No way…" Scott’s brain finally caught up with his eyes.
"Is that…" Ryuji started.
"MORGANA?!" They all exclaimed simultaneously.
"...Well, that was weird. What, are you guys all sharing the same tiny brain? Whatever, my point is it was a real pain in the ass finding you guys!" Morgana mewed up at them.
"Wait, if you need that weird Nav app to get from the castle to the real world…" Ryuji gasped. "Does that mean you've got a little kitty phone?!"
"What are you, five? But to answer your question, you don't need an app when you're as good as I am."
Morgana paused.
"...Even if I did get a little lost once I was actually here in this world." He admitted.
"I'm not the only one hearing this, right?!" Scott asked, frantically looking to the other two who walked on fewer than four legs.
"Meow?" Ren smirked as he did a cat impression.
"Ren, am I gonna have to start flickin' your head too?!" Ryuji shouted. "I am not losing it, that is definitely a talking goddamn cat!"
"I am not a cat!" Said the cat." This is just how I looked when I came here, got it?!"
"Yeah, yeah. Whaddaya want, cat?" Ryuji asked.
"I am NOT- actually, you know what? It's not even worth the effort. Look, you were talking a moment ago about how to punish Kamoshida, right? I could tell you how you could go about that."
Morgana nodded his head towards Scott. "Scott here was actually right on the money on how we'd do it."
"Just as condescending as ever…" Ryuji sighed.
"Told ya." Scott smirked. "Whatcha got for us, Morgana?"
"Well, it all has to do with the fact that the castle is a manifestation of Kamoshida’s distorted viewpoint, and the desires that come with them. So, what would happen if the castle were to vanish?"
Ren furrowed his brow. "Would he lose that viewpoint too?"
Morgana did a little trill. "Exactly. You and Scott really pick things up fast, huh?"
"Wait, so what does that mean exactly?" Ryuji asked.
"Destroying a palace like that essentially makes the ruler in the real world have a change of heart. While his morals would get a total reset, his past actions and memories remain unchanged, so more likely than not, he'll confess all of his crimes himself!"
"There’s no way they can ignore something from Kamoshida himself!"
"Exactly. In addition, even if it were possible for a palace to be searched for evidence, it would all be destroyed with the rest of the place anyways. It doesn't leave a single trail that could lead back to us."
"Well, what are we waiting for?! What's this master plan you've got?" Ryuji exclaimed.
"If you were to agree to this, I'll gladly tell you. First, however… I do need to mention this."
"...Mention what?" Scott raised an eyebrow.
"A palace is a manifestation of all a ruler's warped desires, but I’m still unclear as to what extent his desires would be affected. There's a chance instinctual desires could be lost as well."
"What does that mean?" Ren asked.
"Every one of us humans need desires to survive. The desire to eat, get out of bed, find companionship… it's all important stuff. If those desires were to be erased as well, it'd be like the person had completely shut down. If the people around him aren't careful in the case that this happens, he could die."
"Wait, what?!" Ryuji shouted.
"That’s only a worst-case scenario, however. I doubt it's a likely one, anyways." Morgana clarified.
"Doubt ain't enough to try it! Wouldn't him dying be our fault if that happened?"
"I mean, don't you really hate this guy?" Morgana tilted his head a little.
"Yeah, but I'd rather not fucking murder someone, you know?!"
"Alright, how about this. I'll give you three some time to think. Be sure you're certain of what you'd like to do by the time I'm back."
Morgana then took his leave, hopping back off the little outdoor table and slipping away through some bushes.
"Man, that’s one hell of a bait-and-switch..." Ryuji muttered.
Chapter 10: Shiho Suzui
Notes:
Here it is. The moment all the Persona 5 enjoyers have been waiting for.
If you haven't played/seen someone play P5 At Least through this moment, I'd highly recommend doing that before reading this chapter, even more so than chapter 6. This moment is *much* more powerful in the source material, and while I am proud of how this chapter turned out, I can't in good conscience call it a worthy replacement to this specific part.
Again, I'm not your dad, so if you really want to proceed and don't know what's coming up...
TW: Non-graphic depiction of a suicide attempt, *heavy* implications of pedopilia and rape.Please read safely, and if you think you may be at risk of suicide yourself, help is out there and readily available no matter were you are in the world. - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
Chapter Text
Christ, Shibuya station was one hell of a place to be in around rush hour. Scott didn't think the laws of physics allowed for this much bustling to happen at this density, especially when he was coming from a state where the only thing you'd find crowded together is corn in a field. He’d never gotten why kids would so easily get separated from their parents in movies, games, and Heavy Rain… until now, that is. Hell, Ren's glasses that loved reflecting light practically made him a walking lighthouse, and even then it was pretty hard to get to the Yongen-Jaya train without losing each other at least once.
Is this how Shibuya is in real life too?!
Taking that into account, it was a goddamn miracle that they didn't lose each other as they both heard Takamaki’s voice on their way to switch lines.
"H-hold on, that's not the deal you made with me! Do promises mean nothing to you?! This has nothing to do with Shiho, anyways!"
She suddenly pulled the phone she'd been talking on away from her ear, looking at the screen. She must have just been hung up on, and now she was tearing up.
Shiho? Yeah, Ryuji mentioned they were friends, right?
Scott and Ren had both stopped dead in their tracks when they heard Takamaki, but Scott had been first in approaching her.
"...You okay?" He hesitantly asked.
She's gotta be another party member, right? I probably have to approach her here anyways…
He couldn’t help but feel real worry, though. Takamaki looked like she was ready to double over and start sobbing at any second.
She turned, startled before recognizing him. She definitely would be sobbing right now if she was alone, Scott could tell that much.
"Oh, it's you… were you listening to that?"
"I mean, not on purpose… but you didn’t look like you're doing too good, so…"
"...How much did you hear?"
"Not a ton, but I heard you mention a Shiho… that's Suzui, uh, is 'chan' the right thing to use here…? Whatever, all I know is I bumped into her earlier, and she's nice. And… f*ck, what do I say here?"
"You know Shiho…?" The girl's eyes went wide for a moment, before Takamaki shook her head and tried to hide whatever the hell she was feeling. "Seriously though, it's nothing. Just a little disagreement."
She said that, but the way she was trembling conveyed far more than her words did.
Ren spoke up from behind Scott. "Let’s go somewhere quieter. I'll treat you to something."
"Yeah, Ren'll treat! Hey, that was a plural 'you,' right?" Scott said, grinning at Ren like an excited kid you didn't have the heart to say no to.
Takamaki let out a weak laugh, but a laugh nonetheless. "I really don't get you guys…"
The three of them ended up in a diner that was surprisingly quiet for being on central street at rush hour. The sunset's light streaming in from the windows matched the bright orange upholstery the booths had.
Other than water, no one actually ended up ordering anything. The staff were probably gonna be giving them stink-eye worse than if they were buying Jelly Belly Ballistic Beans at Gamestop, but f*ck it. They weren’t real staff in the first place.
It was weirdly silent for a minute. both in the diner overall, and at their little table in the corner of the place. So little, Scott had to grab an extra chair from another table just to sit.
Just as Scott was debating whether he should speak up first, Takamaki beat him to the punch.
"So… I'm sure you've heard the rumors about me and Kamoshida being… a thing. But it's not like that, or… I really don't want it to be like that. H-he said that if I didn't come to his place tonight, and I’m sure you can guess what he meant by that… he was going to take Shiho off the main team."
Ren and Scott didn't say anything.
What could I even say to that…?
"I didn't even want him to have my phone number in the first place, but… he said that he'd have her front and center if I just cooperated with him. Shiho has always dreamed of being a pro volleyball player, so I always thought of it as just being for her sake, but…"
Takamaki was choking up now.
"I can't do this anymore! I don't want to let Shiho down, but I also don't…"
She crumpled the paper napkin in front of her in her hand.
"What do I do?! I mean, I hate him, and I want this to stop, but I'm also so stuck… I can't let Shiho down, she's my only friend… she's the only one I have left in that awful school!"
She let out a sob.
"I'm sorry, I… I don't know why I'm telling you all this, we don’t even know each other…"
"Maybe that's why." Ren guessed, in a voice that was soft both in volume and in tone.
"Maybe… I mean, I know there's no way in hell it'd happen, but… I wish he would just let the whole thing go. Just… change his mind or something."
"Well, you never know, especially when it comes to major things like this." Ren said, a hint of sternness suddenly appearing in his words.
"I appreciate the thought, really. I can see the rumors saying you guys are violent jerks are all total lies, but come on. That's not going to happen."
"...Well, I never thought I'd basically beat Chibi-Robo Zip Lash, but it did happen eventually." Scott added.
He was still kinda hesitant on actually going all in on this game’s plot, if he could squirm his way out of it. But he still found himself telling her that maybe, just maybe… things would turn out okay.
"Hope all you want, I guess." She shrugged, before slinging her bag over her shoulder and scooting out of the booth. "Still, thank you guys. It felt good to not bottle this all up for once. I'm going to go home and figure out how to convince Kamoshida to keep Shiho's position some other way."
She started to walk out, but stopped and turned.
"And… do me a favor and keep this between us. All of it. If I said it in here, it's a secret. Got it?"
Ren nodded. "Of course."
"I already took an oath to only ever talk about stupid Nintendo games, so my lips were already sealed."
Takamaki snickered. "God, you're so weird. Like, a good weird, though. But yeah, see you."
And with that, she turned around again and left the diner, the little bell thingy sounding as she opened the door.
There was a bit of an awkward silence for a moment. Scott wasn't sure what to say, which was a rare moment for him to put it lightly. While he tried to figure it out, Ren suddenly stiffened in the chair next to his.
"Oh man, Sojiro's gonna kill us…" Ren realized, seeing that the orange creamsicle-colored sunlight had started slowly dimming as they talked.
--4/15--
-MORNING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] guhhhh i cant think of anything else we could do abt that asshole kamoshida
[Ryuji] been thinkin abt it all night and all morning, still got jack shit
[Scott] Yeah, i really don't think we're gonna have any branching quest paths here.
[Ryuji] dammit… im too frustrated to even try to get on your case about not takin this shit seriously
[Ren] Guys, we are literally in class.
[Ren] Scott, you are terrible at hiding your texting by the way.
[Scott] Who cares?? We’re in the back rows, people have goddamn potlucks down here
[Ryuji] seriously though, are we gonna have to go back to that damn cat
[Ren] Oh yeah, he just snuck into my desk.
[Ryuji] he WHAT???
[Scott] Holy sh*t yeah, i see him!
[Ryuji] think he could show you how to actually hide your class texting lmao
[Scott] No, he couldn't!
[Scott] He doesn't have thumbs!
[Ryuji] i hate to say it but thats actually a real good point
[Ryuji] fuck im gettin off track again
[Ryuji] he said its only a worst case scenario that he totally shuts down, right? I mean, i still dont wanna up and kill him
[Ren] Yeah, though Morgana’s saying he thinks it's a really slim chance anyways...
--END LOG--
"Hey, what’s that?!"
Someone in the front row stood up, interrupting Mr Ushimaru's lecture on judgy branches or whatever.
Scott looked up.
"Is she about to jump?!"
Wait, is someone-
He followed everyone's gazes.
Is that-?!
"Suzui?!" Scott stood up.
"SHIHO!" Takamaki bolted out into the hallway.
Scott stuffed his phone into his pocket and followed close behind, and Ren didn't hesitate to leave the classroom either. He knew the teacher was yelling at them to sit back down, and at least one other student was bolting out too, but he wasn't listening.
Holy sh*t… holy sh*t, holy sh*t!!!
It was her. The same girl he almost ran into yesterday. The one other NPC- no, person- aside from Ren and Ryuji that didn't seem to hate his guts. The one who thought he was funny despite whatever lore he'd been stamped with.
The one who sounded completely hollow when she said she was fine.
She was standing on the edge of the roof, already on the other side of the chain-link fence around it. The slight breeze out made her ponytail flutter, and even from the back, it was plain to see what she was feeling. And hollow couldn't even begin to describe it.
Before Scott could yank himself from the spot he found himself stuck to.
Where would I even go?
Before Scott could tear his eyes away from her.
What could I even do?
Before all that, even though Scott was screaming at his whole body to do something, anything.
Suzui dipped forward
and let herself fall.
Oh my God…
"Shiho… NO!"
Takamaki's shoulder banged into his as she made a break for the courtyard.
He didn't care that it hurt, and clearly Takamaki didn't either, but it did snap him out of the complete and utter shock that left his thoughts empty and whirling at the same time.
And one important thing was still on Scott’s mind when he did snap out of it.
Breaking out of Persona 5 could wait. There was something else he had to do that was a much higher priority than that now.
Kamoshida, I am coming for you, and your sh*t.
And I am gonna kick your ass.
The door to the PE faculty office slammed open.
Suzui was getting rushed to the hospital, with Takamaki accompanying her when the paramedics said they needed someone else there.
Mishima had told Scott, Ren and Ryuji everything. He told them the rumors about physical abuse were all true, that Kamoshida called people who were underperforming to his office when he was in a bad mood, that Mishima had been asked to tell Suzui to meet him there, and that lately, he was also…
Scott still was definitely still freaking out on the side, sure. Freaking about how this is apparently what happens in the game Anna May deemed so essential that she stuck him into this mess, about seeing that in person regardless of setting, and especially who it had to happen to out of everyone in this goddamn school… But first and foremost, he was f*cking livid. And so were the others right behind him, two of them being the usual suspects (Ren and Ryuji) and the last one being Mishima.
“What the f*ck did you do to her?” Scott growled.
You want serious, Ryuji? Well, I guess you’re getting it.
“Hm?” Kamoshida asked all too casually, sitting at his desk like nothing happened. Like he hadn’t made anything happen.
“You heard me.” Scott’s tone was completely flat. Ren and Ryuji were both staring at him with their jaws dropped.
“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re referring to.” Kamoshida stood up from his chair, now facing them instead of the desk against the wall.
Regaining his focus after hearing something that was that obviously bullsh*t, Ryuji suddenly kicked over a stray metal chair.
"Don’t you DARE play DUMB with me!" He shouted.
Mishima was shaking hard, but spoke up anyways. "What you did… No self-respecting teacher would do any of this! I can only imagine what you did to her after you made me get her…"
"You're acting all high and mighty, when you were the one who leaked the criminal record of these transfer students, Mishima? A bit hypocritical, isn't it?" Kamoshida’s understanding-sounding tone was so fake, it was making Scott sick.
"Because… because you made me!"
"And even if, hypothetically, I was doing everything you're baselessly claiming? You wouldn't have any proof of it to speak of." Kamoshida smirked, like they were all fish in a barrel to him.
"You son of a BITCH-!" Ryuji revved up a punch, but Ren grabbed his arm.
"Hey, what the hell, man?!"
"That's what he wants." Ren said with a glance towards his raised fist.
I don't blame you, Ryuji…
"No, by all means, go right ahead!" Kamoshida laughed. "I certainly don't mind needing to defend myself if it really has to come to that."
Scott’s knuckles were turning white as he balled his hands at his sides.
I really don't blame you.
Ryuji yanked his arm from Ren’s grasp, but lowered it instead of taking the bait. Kamoshida turned back to his desk, but kept talking over his shoulder.
"Everyone in this room will be expelled."
Where the hell did that come from?!
"You can't just do that!" Mishima cried.
"And why not? After all, you’re all threatening to spread slander about me, not to mention the threat of violence by at least one student present… no doubt about it, you’re gone after the next staff meeting."
And then he f*cking cackled.
He cackled like life was a villain’s exposition cutscene, and he was the star of the show.
That’s not too far from the truth, huh? I mean, it does make my decision here easier…
"You're gonna eat those words." Scott plainly stated.
"Wait, you mean…?" Ryuji's eyes went wide.
"Yeah. We still have that up our sleeves." Ren nodded.
"You really think there’s still something you scum could possibly do? Well, you're all already gone anyways. Do your worst, if you feel like killing some time before you're all thrown out with the rest of the garbage."
"Come on." Scott said, before promptly turning around and walking out of the loser king's office.
It is going to be way more satisfying to beat the sh*t out of him in person than it ever could on a controller.
Chapter 11: Hi, My Name is Jick, My Friends Call Me Todd, But uh, My Real Name is Scott...
Chapter Text
They still had to finish classes that day. After everything that had happened, teachers were still scrambling to make sure all the students went back to their classrooms rather than simply leaving.
There was no way Shujin would have a normal atmosphere after that, though. The teachers eventually gave up on trying to keep people from pulling out their phones in class to swap photos of the scene (yes, they were actually doing that), or from keeping the ones who had seen it in the moment from tuning out the class while they were clearly in shock.
But now, class was over. The three soon-to-be thieves congregated in the courtyard again, meeting next to the vending machines like they had been doing for a few days now.
Now they just needed to get themselves ready for whatever they needed to do to destroy the castle in Kamoshida’s heart.
Morgana hopped up onto the table again.
"So, based on the looks you all have, I'm guessing you've made a decision?"
"Yeah. We have." Ren stated.
"Honestly, I was already fine with it before this. And now…" Scott trailed off. He didn’t need to finish, they all knew what he was saying.
"Let’s get his ass." Ryuji growled, punching one of the vending machines behind him.
"Hold on, we’re not beating him up! No, we have to steal the treasure at the palace's core."
"The hell kinda mumbo-jumbo is that?" Ryuji muttered.
Morgana ignored him. "Palaces are manifestations of distorted desires, and the treasure is desire numero uno. It powers the rest of the place, essentially acting as its foundation."
"And when you take away the foundation, it falls apart?" Ren guessed.
"Precisely." Morgana mewed.
Scott took his phone out of his pocket. "Okay, now that we know what we're doing, let's get in there and-"
"Is it true you’re getting expelled?"
Takamaki? Sh*t, how much did she hear?
Standing behind their group was Takamaki. Before, she seemed almost perpetually conflicted, but all traces of that were gone now. Instead, she stood tall with a fire in her eyes. "Actually, that's not what I want to ask about. Look, it sounds like you're planning to do something to Kamoshida, and earlier I said no one would help you, but things have changed. I want in."
Ryuji scowled at her. "This is none of your goddamn business."
"Sorry, wanting to avenge my best friend is none of my business?! I'm not gonna just lay around and-"
"We don't need anyone gettin' on our way!" He stomped his foot for emphasis.
There was a tense moment of silence.
"...Fine." Takamaki eventually said. "Let me know if you decide to change your mind."
"Wow. That was cold, Ryuji." Morgana winced. Cats can visibly wince, apparently.
"What was I supposed to do?! We can't just let her in that deathtrap!"
"I suppose you're right, but I really hope that's not how you usually treat ladies…"
"We don't have time for this, Morgana." Ren interjected. "We need to get going."
"You're right about that, too." Morgana nodded. "Let’s go somewhere a little more hidden to begin our infiltration."
"I think I know a place, if that's where we're starting." Ryuji said. "Follow me."
"Okay, we just say Kamoshida, the school, and castle, right? And then we get Twilight Zone'd?" Ryuji asked, pulling out his phone.
They were back in the dark alley they’d first found the castle from, after a miserably failed attempt at saving time on the walk to Shujin. Somehow, the ground still hadn't completely dried since the rain a good few days ago. Made the place really damn musty.
"If I'm understanding this right, yeah." Ren confirmed.
Ryuji let out a short hum. "Metaverse Navigator, it says… it's on my phone now, too. Not to kick a horse in the mouth or anything, but where the heck did it come from?"
"I don't know, but I do know that's not how the saying goes."
"Eh, I've heard it both ways." Ryuji said with a shrug.
"You have not!" Scott interjected. "Everybody knows it’s 'don't gift a horse in the mouth,' duh!"
Someone stifled a laugh.
Scott whipped around, trying to figure out who it was.
...But nobody was there. People passed through on the street the alley led into, but none of them could have been in earshot for that.
Am I hearing things?
"Guys, focus!" Ren snapped his fingers. Damn, he could do that really loudly.
"Exactly, this is our first heist as Phantom Thieves! We need to get this right, got it?!" Morgana hissed from Ren’s bag.
“Alright guys, let’s do this.” Ryuji said with a smirk as he let the MetaNav do its thing.
The alley around them trembled once again as the school was replaced by Kamoshida’s castle.
“Okay, let’s get this over with.” Scott muttered, already making his way up the drawbridge.
Ren and Ryuji followed him at first, but they were all stopped when Morgana scampered in front of them and held out his arms.
“Hold on, what’d I say about charging in like that?! Do you guys even get what a phantom thief is?!”
“Uh…” Scott looked down at him blankly.
“Jeez, you actually don’t? That was supposed to be rhetorical… but whatever! As phantom thieves, we stealthily and stylishly steal treasure!”
“Uh, how can you be hidden and stylish at the same time?” Ren asked.
“Oh, you’ll see what I mean as we go, Joker. In fact, our first order of business is about just that!” He mewed.
“Joker? Like, the guy from Batman? When’d he get here?” Scott’s eyes widened.
“What? No! It’s a codename I came up with for him.” Morgana nodded towards Ren. “There’s no telling what effect yelling our real names in here will do to the real Kamoshida. This is the deepest, darkest part of his heart manifested, but it’s still part of his psyche. He doesn’t know any specifics, but if we get stuck in his subconscious, that may cause a problem.”
“Wait, you didn’t think to do this before we started sneaking around a ton of times?!”
“Look, it’s not a huge risk, but it’s a good thing to start making a habit of.”
Ryuji raised an eyebrow. “You just thought using codenames would sound cool, didn’t you.”
“T-that’s just a bonus!” Morgana spluttered out.
He totally thought of the cool factor first.
“Joker… I like it. Like a trump card, in Old Maid or something.” Ren said, adjusting his mask with a smile.
“Exactly! Now, for Ryuji… let’s see, how about Bruiser?”
Ryuji pouted down at Morgana. “You thought of a cool name for Ren already, but not me?!”
“Hey, you got anything better, be my guest. Also, we need to be absolutely thorough about codenames, you call him Joker anytime we’re here, got it?!”
“Yeah, yeah… Hmm, how about Skull? ‘Cause of the mask.” Ryuji said with a grin.
“A total lack of nuance… it’s perfect!” Morgana mewed happily.
“Shaddap!!!”
“Now, for you…” Morgana turned towards Scott, looking him up and down (or, in Morgana’s case, up and farther up).
“How about… Heterochromatic?”
“...What the f*ck does that even mean?” Scott furrowed his brow.
“Two-colored! Like heterochromia, eyes that are different from each other.” Morgana explained.
“Ragtime might work.” Ren contributed.
“Ooh, or Slapstick!” Ryuji cheerily added.
Scott paused, taking in the many suggestions. All he could say after processing them all was simply, “...Really?”
“Well, then come up with your own damn codename!” Ryuji shouted.
Scott heard something. Like… something scraping on pavement. A shoe, maybe?
He turned around again, tuning out Morgana berating Skull for being overly loud again. He focused on where he thought it had come from, but he didn’t hear anything else.
“Scott?” Ren asked, nudging his shoulder a bit. “You doing okay?
He turned back to the rest of the group.
Sh*t, they all were staring at me for that?
“Yeah, just thought I heard… whatever, I’ll think of a stupid f*cking bullsh*t name.”
Scott put one gloved hand on his chin. Heterochromatic was an unbelievably stupid codename, but he did like the idea of something themed around the two-color motif of this outfit. Or, he at least liked it more than f*cking Ragtime.
Okay, what’s something with two things I could use?
Naturally, his first thought was about stupid Nintendo games. This is still Scott we’re talking about here.
Well, there’s the Nintendo DS, but DS is nowhere near cool enough… though, DS does stand for dual screen. So maybe Dual?
No, it’s still missing something. Nothing about that’s fightin’ words, so…
Hang on, fightin’ words…? That’s it!
“Call me... Duel!” He said with a grin.
“Whuh? Dual? Like, the colors? Seems kinda weird, if ya ask me.” Ryuji said, tilting his head a little.
Scott’s grin fell. “No, like du-EL! You know, like a one-on-one fight? It’s a pun!”
“None of our fights have been one-on one, though.” Morgana added.
“You’re the one who said Heterochromatic, you don’t get to talk sh*t about my cool new codename!”
“I like it.” Ren smiled, and shot Scott a thumbs up.
“See?! Finally, someone who gets it!”
Morgana sighed. “Well, if it works, it works. Okay everybody, from this moment onward, we’re only using codenames! Don’t screw this up, got it?”
“Hold on, we skipped over you!” Skull interjected.
“Kamoshida doesn’t know me. There’s no need for me to have a codename.”
“Nah, that’s no fair! You’re, uh…” Skull faltered in his rant, realizing he didn't actually have any ideas.
“Mona.” Joker stated.
“Yeah, Mona!” Ryuji jabbed a finger in Mona’s direction like he hadn’t totally just blanked on his rant’s entire point.
“I mean, if you insist.” Mona said with a shrug. “Now are we doing this or not? We’re really making a racket bickering about this out here. We need to go before the shadows get here and check it out.”
“Yeah.” Joker nodded. “Let’s go take Kamoshida down.”
“A break room? We just got here, though.” Skull pointed out to Mona as he turned away from the hazy door at the end of the hall.
Huh, is that what it looked like last time, too?
“It’s safe room, not break room.” Mona corrected. “And we need to really iron out our plan before we do anything else.”
“Come to think of it, a solid plan is a good idea.” Joker pointed out.
“Fiiine, I guess we can work out a plan or whatever… Let’s just make this quick, alright?” Skull said.
“Good.” Mona nodded, before pushing open the door.
This safe room was different from the first one. That one had matched the sh*tty dungeon vibe of the area around it, while this one was an equally small but much fancier sitting room.
Mona hopped up to the large table in the room’s center. Seemed that was a common layout in both safe rooms, despite the stark contrast.
“I was going to let you guys put this off a bit longer, but I can sense the number of shadows on the prowl has gone up since we were last here. So, our current objective is to secure an infiltration route, or a path to the treasure.”
“And how do we do that?” Duel asked, crossing his arms.
“Basically, we’re not making any moves for the moment. We’re here to stake the place out, learn its layout, and actually figure out the location of the treasure. As for actually carrying out the theft, we’ll be crossing that bridge when we get to it.” Mona concluded.
“You mean, you dragged us in here to lay out a solid plan, and that solid plan is to make a solid plan? How do you even know all this crap works, Morgana?” Skull grumbled.
“It’s Mona, remember?!”
Duel hummed. “Actually, he’s got a point. Kinda weird that you know all this, but you say you can’t remember anything else.”
“I don’t see a reason not to trust him.” Joker said with a shrug.
“I mean, yeah, he seems fine, but what if he doesn’t really have a goddamn clue what we’re doing here? We don’t have any of proving he’s anything more than some f*cked up cat that decided he’s better than everyone else.”
“Do we have any other options?” Joker asked.
Duel didn’t have an argument for that.
But, the beat of silence gave them a chance to notice something.
Joker was the first to point it out. “Hold on, I think I hear something…”
“Really?” Mona’s eyes widened, hopping off the table to get closer to the door.
“I wonder what the Princess was doing out there…?” Came a shadow’s wobbly voice, probably a guard.
“Does it matter?” Another shadow responded. “We’re supposed to guard the place, not ask questions. We returned her to King Kamoshida, so we’re done.”
“That’s not what I’m wondering about, it’s just… I could have sworn that was an intruder we were tracking down before it turned out to be her…”
“What the hell are they talking about?” Duel whispered.
“I’ll go find out!” Mona said, waiting for the guard’s voices to fade with distance before slipping out of the safe room.
Joker fidgeted with his bangs. “We’ve been in this safe room, what were they tracking?”
“Yeah, and what the hell do they mean by Princess...?” Skull added.
“I dunno, but I’ve got a bad feeling about- OW! ” Duel started, but was interrupted when the safe room’s door swung open, smacking him in the face.
“This is bad!” Mona yowled, scurrying back inside.
"What is it?!" Joker asked.
"No time, you'll figure it out when we get there! Now come on!!!"
The hall they ran down was weirdly empty. They were still ducking behind corners before going into new rooms, but they hadn't seen a single shadow as they followed Mona.
What could even freak out Mona that much? And where the hell are all the guards?!
A distant voice echoed from the hall they were approaching.
"Seriously, this isn’t funny anymore! I'm gonna call the cops, got it?!"
That voice sounds kinda familiar…
They turned, not even bothering to check the place before sprinting past what were thankfully empty suits of armor, if the one that had collapsed was any indication.
"Who are you people, anyways?! What the hell is- YOU?!?!"
"Oh shit, is that-" Skull started, before Mona interrupted him.
"We don't have time for questions, Skull!"
With surprising force, Mona burst the doors open. They were greeted with a large room, covered in overly pink wallpaper, flanked by red curtains, and a frankly way overdone painting of King Kamoshida above a restraining… thing, which held…
Oh sh*t.
"TAKAMAKI?!" Skull shouted in surprise.
Takamaki herself looked equally shocked.
"SAKAMOTO?! What the hell are you wearing? Are those the transfer students over there, too?!"
"My, my…" King Kamoshida licked his lips. Ew. "Seems we have an audience for this imposter's punishment."
"What do you mean, imposter?! and Who the hell is she?" Takamaki shouted, jerking her head in the direction of the cognitive clone of herself. "Seriously, have you gone insane?! Cut this shit out already!"
"Yet another slave who thinks they can talk back to me. Oh Ann, what am I to do with all these troublemakers~?" He said in an awful sarcastic flirty tone that made Duel shudder.
The cognitive version of Takamaki, still only dressed in lingerie, swooned a little at Kamoshida’s side. "That's sooo unforgivable. They should totes be executed!"
"I think you're right! All these intruders, coming in like they can do what they want in the world of my desires… it's a mentality like that that made what’s-her-face jump, you know."
The real Takamaki froze. "What…?"
"Well, you wouldn't throw yourself upon me, so I had to make do with having your best friend fill in! You seriously didn't think I would just let that go, would you~?"
"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" She cried, pulling on the cuffs and making them rattle.
"We gotta get in there!" Mona yowled, but two of the guards next to her crossed their swords against her neck.
"Move even a single muscle, and she's dead. Got that?" King Kamoshida shot them that inhuman sneer again.
Takamaki’s rage quickly faded, leaving her whimpering. "P-please… don't kill me…"
"Perhaps… I'll rip apart those clothes of yours before I dismantle the rest of you…"
The cognitive Takamaki bobbed up and down. "OMG , you peeerv~!"
Skull stomped his foot, but didn't move forward. "Dammit, what do we do?!"
"I…" Duel started, but Takamaki started whimpering again.
"I guess… this is what I get for what happened to Shiho, right? God, I'm so sorry…"
Hold on, this is just like when…
"You're just gonna let him get away with this sh*t?!" Duel shouted across the room.
"Huh…?"
Duel elbowed Joker’s side. "Quick, say something motivating!" He hissed.
"What?!"
"Just do it!!!"
"Okay, uh… Takamaki, aren't you going to fight back?!"
Takamaki was quiet for a moment.
"...You’re right. You're both goddamn right. I won't let you just walk away from what you've done…"
She yanked her head up and glared right at Kamoshida.
"YOU SICK, SAD EXCUSE OF A MAN!"
A wave of power tore through the room, rustling the curtains for a brief moment.
Takamaki’s eyes widened with a gasp.
I knew it!
She writhed in pain against the restraints, crying out every few seconds, before two blue flares appeared at her wrists, breaking the cuffs off.
She stumbled a little with the sudden release, facing down as she steadied herself.
“I hear you, Carmen.” Came Takamaki’s voice, low and pained, before suddenly standing straight up, revealing the red cat-like mask on her face.
“I’m not HOLDING BACK ANYMORE!!!”
And then she ripped it off with a scream of pain and rage.
Out of the resulting blue pillar of fire jumped Takamaki and her persona. Takamaki, now dressed in a tight-fitting leather… what would a full-body outfit like that be called? Jumpsuit? Whatever, the important thing was that she kicked a sword out of one of the guard’s hands, before jumping up high and doing a sick ground-pound type move with it, dissipating the cognitive clone of herself that she was targeting.
Her persona landed behind her, nearly fully squashing the dude under her foot. Well, not really a dude, he looked more like a mannequin modeling a suit with a big heart-shaped head. In fact, she was holding another one by a string in one hand. Her other hand held up the skirt of her huge dress, which resembled one a flamenco-style dancer would wear. She smirked a cheshire cat smirk (sorta literally, the persona's face looked a lot like a cat's) as Takamaki threw the purloined sword aside.
"Y-you bitch!" Kamoshida stammered, stepping back and letting one of the golden-armored guards shield him.
"Hell no, I’m not some bitch you've got wrapped around your finger anymore." Takamaki said with a snarl. "You destroyed my best friend, and that'll be the last mistake you ever make."
"Enough of this! You'll all pay dearly for your disrespect!" The golden-armored guard spat.
"Funny, those are my thoughts exactly. I'm ending this reign of tyranny, Kamoshida, and there's NOTHING you can do to stop me!"
Seeing the guards start to shudder and transform, Joker ran to Takamaki’s side in a battle-ready stance, with the other thieves following closely behind. She stared down the huge demon on a floating toilet that had erupted from the golden guard.
...Duel couldn't help but stare at the thing in befuddlement for a second. Good thing Takamaki actually had her head in the game.
"LET’S DO THIS, CARMEN!"
Before the demon had the chance to make any moves, Takamaki's persona lobbed a fireball at it, knocking it down to the ground.
"Whoa, your fire's way better than mine!" Duel shouted over the commotion, a little jealous.
"Shut up and fight, moron!" Mona yelled in his direction, while he got in as many hits as he could while the demon was disoriented.
"Sh*t, right!"
Resolving to be jealous later, he lobbed a fireball of his own square into the demon shadow's face. It wasn’t nearly as big as Takamaki’s, but it was enough to knock the shadow and its toilet completely off its feet, making it crash to the floor on its side.
"RRRRAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Takamaki channeled her rage into the whip she now held, and Duel only barely managed to dodge its wide arc before it hit home, causing the sh*t-taking demon to finally give up the ghost and disintegrate.
She turned her gaze back to Kamoshida.
"W-what the hell… You…" He started to splutter, before clearly thinking better of it and simply turning around and running out the door.
"Get back h-!" Takamaki started, but suddenly fell to one knee in exhaustion.
"What the hell are you even doin' here, Takamaki? Actually, how the hell are you even here?!" Skull started yelling.
Mona glared up at him. "Hey! Treat her with some respect!" He took a breath, and turned back to Takamaki. "Are you okay… Ann, was it?"
"Yeah, that's my-" She started, looking to the cat at her side, before her brain caught up with her. "Wait, what is this thing?! A talking monster-cat? Actually, first, where the hell are we?!"
Duel rubbed the back of his neck. "That’s… a bit of a long story. And one I would really rather not tell in here." He winced at the huge tacky oil painting in the room.
She put one pink-gloved hand on top of Mona's big head. "How do you expect me to wait for an explanation?!" She said with a grunt, using him to get herself upright. As she looked down while standing up fully, her eyes widened.
"W-what the hell am I wearing?! I don't remember putting this on!"
As she tried to cover up the large boob window in the suit, the sudden movement made her stumble again.
"What is going onnn!?" She wailed.
"Calm down, it's gonna be okay." Joker told her, fidgeting with his bangs and trying to avert his eyes from that damn boob window. Mostly failing, but the effort was commendable.
"How the hell do you expect me to be calm in a situation like this?!"
"There’s gonna be reinforcements coming any minute now, we need to get out of here!" Mona yowled, jumping to get their attention.
Skull goaned. "But we just got here, we're already leavin'?! Dammit, fine. Takamaki, gimmie your arm. Duel, you take the other side."
"Hold on, why me?!" Duel protested, but was already helping her up anyways.
"We're the fastest dudes here, even if I'm kinda rusty. Now c'mon, let's move!"
"Yeah, yeah…" Duel grumbled, starting the mad dash to the palace entrance at Skull and Takamaki’s side.
Notes:
As usual, thanks for reading, and have a very happy Halloween!
I wonder what the Scott the Woz special will be like this year...
Chapter 12: So, Welcome to Being F*cked.
Notes:
So, that Animal Crossing update, huh? I've got the brain rot for both this AU and for ACNH, so I made... a few pro designs. Just a few.
MA-0408-8413-9541
See them in action at: https://youtu.be/1cwbmUNRwisSome of them aren't in this AU, don't worry about it.
Chapter Text
“Got one you want?” Ryuji asked, surveying the choices in the vending machine in front of them.
Takamaki hummed. "These are all carbonated, right…? I guess the Dr. Salt NEO then."
"Scott?"
"Uhh… Mountain Dew?" He said with a shrug.
"...Do you mean Fountain Dew?" Ren asked with a chuckle.
"What? No, I- Is it seriously named Fountain Dew in Japan?"
Oh yeah, forgot that was a thing that happens.
…That is never gonna stop being weird as f*ck, is it.
"Whatever, Fountain Dew it is." Ryuji said, pressing a few buttons "What about you, Jok- uh, Ren?"
"Surprise me." Ren smiled, adjusting his glasses and making them reflect the light from the train station around them.
"Heh, you got it."
Kachunk! Kachunk! Kachunk!
"Hold on!" Morgana yowled, popping his head out of Ren's bag. "Aren’t you gonna ask me what I want?!"
"Whuh? Cats can't drink soda, though." Ryuji squinted, definitely trying to remember if that was actually the case.
"Oh yeah, your name's Morgana, right?" Takamaki asked him. "Feels so weird, talking to a cat… or, not a cat, if I'm getting all this straight."
"Don’t worry about getting everything straight right away, especially after everything that happened so quickly."
"Wow, what an unbiased guy." Scott deadpanned, cracking open the can of Fountain Dew with a hiss.
Morgana ignored him. "The most important thing is that you're alright, Lady Ann. Are you holding up okay, emotionally?"
"Lady Ann…? Whatever, It's hard to believe that all happened, I think my brain's still trying to catch up. Plus, my persona… that power, I don’t know what to make of it."
"It’s your will of rebellion! Now you can protect yourself in that world, while I back you up!" Morgana meowed happily.
"You also said that you're trying to make Kamoshida turn himself in, right? That’s actually possible?"
"We don't got a choice." Ryuji started to explain, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Nobody else is willin' to speak up, and nobody's gonna listen to us. This is the only option we've got left, even if we have no clue if it'll work."
"I'm in."
"Wait, you're what?" Ryuji stared at her.
"I said, I'm in. Like Morgana said, I can fight now. There's no way I'm letting that bastard get away with what he's done, so either I'll be joining you, or I'll do it myself."
"Are you taking yourself hostage here?!"
"You saw her, she'd be great." Ren said with a soft smirk.
"Yeah! I dunno what it is, but her fireballs are way bigger than mine for some reason."
"Yeah! Besides, I'll be protecting her." Morgana said with a trill.
"Good to know you have our backs, Morgana." Scott glared in his direction.
"I'm not letting Kamoshida just carry on like nothing happened. Not just to Shiho, but to everybody he's ever hurt. This ends now." Takamaki said, in a solemn yet determined way.
Ren raised his own soda can.
"I guess we're a team now, huh? Well, here's to making that bastard pay."
Scott, Ryuji, and Takamaki raised their sodas as well.
"Good to have you on the team, Takamaki." He nodded in her direction.
"Hey, if whatever that was doesn't put someone on a first-name basis, I don’t know what will. Call me Ann."
Scott let out a sigh of relief. "Oh thank Christ, I can finally stop worrying about f*cking up your name…"
--IM LOG--
-Ann + Scott-
[Ann] hey, I wanted to thank you for saving me back there.
[Ann] I'm not sure how I totally forgot to do that??
[Scott] Oh, no problem!
[Scott] Mostly just some quick thinking on my part if I'm gonna be honest with you
[Ann] what do you mean?
[Scott] Basically, same sh*t happened to ryuji a couple days back
[Scott] We got cornered and he was freaking out, but ren sorta shouted something out about not giving up to that prick
[Scott] And i sorta did a followup shout bc he was totally right, f*ck that guy
[Scott] Well ryuji realized that too and bam! Persona time
[Scott] So im not the only one you should thank is what i'm saying.
[Ann] oh, don't worry! did that already
[Ann] lol, they both said the same thing
[Ann] oh, hold on, Ren wants me to click smth…
-Team F*cked-
-Ren added Ann to the group.-
[Ann] team fucked?
[Ann] what's with the thingy?
[Scott] Why the f*ck do people asking that?? What are you even talking about???
[Ann] oh, i get it
[Ryuji] lmao yeah ren thought it was funny
[Ryuji] and he was fuckin right!!!
[Scott] Is nobody gonna fill me in on this sh*t…
[Ann] lollllll
[Ren] You seriously don't realize when you do that?
[Scott] Do what???
[Ren] Guess not.
[Ren] Anyways. Morgana’s staying with us in Leblanc now.
[Scott] Wait, you're not gonna say what 'that' even is???
[Ren] Apparently, he knows how to make lockpicks and other tools.
[Ren] I don't know how he's going to teach me without thumbs, but I'll do my best.
[Ryuji] scott holy shit maybe morgana can teach you how to hide your texting in class after all
[Scott] ...Is it really that obvious?
[Ann] yeah you're not fooling anybody Scott
[Ann] i'm a whole row ahead of you, and i saw it clear as day, lmao
[Ann] i'm guessing miss Kawakami is too tired to actually call you out on it
[Scott] Jesus…
[Ren] Also, Sojiro mentioned a customer a minute ago, and it made me think of something
[Ren] She's a doctor here in Yongen, and apparently kinda shady.
[Ren] If we're going to be fighting for our lives in that castle, we're going to need first aid.
[Ren] And somehow, I doubt 100 Yen bandages are gonna do the job. Morgana has healing abilities, but those apparently tire him after too many uses.
[Ren] I'm going to check her clinic out soon, hopefully tomorrow.
[Ryuji] oh yeah!! i should show you guys the place i got those model guns too
[Ann] model guns??
[Ryuji] yeah in that world they just. work
[Ryuji] irl they dont even shoot pellets, but in there theyll fuck shit up
[Ryuji] even tho a lot of the shadows are uh. a little more tolerant of bullet wounds than your average joe schmoe
[Ann] weird… but useful, right?
[Ren] Yeah, just be careful around Scott’s. He got stuck with the RPG Ryuji got us.
[Scott] Cause you stuck me with it!
[Scott] Joke’s on you guys anyways, cause i like it now.
[Ren] Good, maybe the model place will have something that looks like it'll do more damage, too.
[Ren] At least, I think looks are what sells it for the shadows.
[Ryuji] ig well find out fr soon
[Ren] Yeah, I don’t know how long it'll take at that clinic to get something that’ll work for us.
[Ren] I'll come if I can, but you guys may need to scope it out without me.
[Ann] sorry, but I'm out too... i'm visiting Shiho in the hospital tomorrow
[Scott] Oh, i got this.
[Ryuji] ya do??
[Scott] I played Call of Duty on Wii and DS, i know what sorts of guns are out there.
[Ann] oh boy…
[Ryuji] ...ill keep an eye on him
[Scott] Huh? Why??
--END LOG--
--4/16--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
Central street was just as busy as ever. Actually, now that Scott thought of it, he hadn’t really been around Shibuya outside of transferring at the station, minus the night they talked to Ann. Whatever, the point was that Central Street was just as busy as Scott expected, knowing the station's usual traffic.
Though, even though it was overwhelming as hell, he couldn’t help but be mesmerized at the bustling metropolis around them. I mean, Japan's awesome, it’s the country that made Wario! Plus, the way everything was so close together was totally new to Scott. Back in his Ohioan hometown, it was basically required to drive if you wanted to go anywhere, and if you wanted to hit both the Kohl's and the Kroger, you better be ready to cross the entire damn town to make that happen. But here? The only thing between you and whatever the hell you wanted was like, a block's worth of walking, max.
Which sorta made the fact that the model gun place was super out of the way far weirder. After Scott actually managed to find Ryuji in the sea of people near Shibuya Station, he led him down Central Street and down an alleyway.
Scott spoke up. "Are you sure about this place? I mean, last time you led me down an alleyway we had to do a whole ye olde prison break."
"No, it’s fine! I was here like, last week, no fucked up castles in sight."
"...How long had you been at Shujin before you first saw that place?"
"Shaddap! We're here, anyways."
Sure enough, they arrived at a building that seemed at least reasonably storefront-ish, even though the inside was hard to see through the tinted windows and many posters hung over them. A flickering green neon light said what was presumably the store's name, "Untouchable."
"Alright, let’s do this." Ryuji said, a bit nervous.
Scott stopped him by holding out one arm.
"I'm the one doing all the talking here, got it? Like I said, I know a good bit from playing first-person shooters, and I was also a customer service guy for a while. I get this stuff."
"Uh, okay I guess-"
"I might have run the place I was working at into the ground within like a week, but I still get this stuff."
"Wait, what?!"
But Scott was already pulling the door open.
As he did, one of those motion-sensing tinny speakers announced their arrival, rather than a real bell like you'd generally associate with shops.
"Welcome."
The gruff-looking guy behind the counter with just the slightest bit of a beard on his chin didn’t even look up from his magazine when he said that. He looked pretty hardcore, with the pair of those big ear mufllers sitting around his hat and his general casual-yet-military vibe his outfit had.
This would have been majorly offset by what was clearly a lollipop in the guy's mouth, if he weren't somehow making it look badass, like some hardened cowboy protagonist and his trusty toothpick. Actually, the fact that he could even do that only made him more intimidating.
Like, seriously. Scott had been in some pretty scary shit before without freaking out, and this guy was giving him the heebie-jeebies just by… well, existing.
Is that even something someone can program into a character?
"You two gonna buy something, or are you just here to block the door all day?"
Scott jumped when the guy spoke up again, raising an eyebrow at them. Ryuji was clearly intimidated here, too, so at least he wasn't alone on that front.
Still, they were there for a reason.
Scott cleared his throat awkwardly before getting a little closer to the counter this guy was behind. It doubled as a glass display case, showing off a bunch of different models the place stocked. Damn, these looked real.
Actually, these look more real than some of the guns I've had waved in my face in person before. Weird.
Often, you could match a character with a gun in any given game based on their personality. Not exactly the easiest thing to explain, it was one of those things you'd just know .
And since he and Ren were both set on gun type already, he just needed to pick for Ryuji and Ann, so…
Well, for Ryuji, it's pretty obvious what he's gotta use.
Scott eyed a certain section of the display case before finally getting up the guts to say something.
"So uh, these shotgun models look pretty different from each other. Is there, like, any huge difference between them besides looks?"
The guy looked up from his magazine and up at Scott.
"So, you’re a newbie to the enthusiast scene?"
Sh*t, was it that bad a first question?!
"...Uh, yeah."
The worker exhaled.
"Good. I thought blondie here was bringin' in another casual. The regulars never like it when someone who isn’t serious starts putzin' around. Seems like you actually give a damn, even if you don't know all the details yet."
Oh thank Christ.
"H-hey!" Ryuji sounded offended.
The worker (or maybe owner, by the sound of things) ignored him.
"I'll be happy to give you some pointers." He said, specifically in Scott’s direction. "Got anything in mind, or just goin' for something that looks nice?"
-EVENING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] ughhh im finally back
[Ryuji] fuck rush hour. All my homies hate rush hour.
[Scott] Can confirm! It sucks ass!
[Ryuji] okay but holy shit guys. Scott didnt screw up the model store run.
[Ryuji] i thought for sure he was gonna say smth video gamey and idk, get us kicked out or smth!
[Scott] Jesus, that's what you think of me??
[Ryuji] cmon, you heard the way he was doggin on the "casuals" or whatever
[Scott] ...Meaning you?
[Ryuji] nyeh!!!
[Ann] i mean, that's good to hear!
[Ann] got anything good? :0
[Scott] I mean… sorta? I wanted to set both you and ryuji up so i couldn't get a super fancy one for both of you
[Scott] But, I'm sure i can fix that later. Shadows drop money when they explode, and there might be random spare items we can sell off
[Scott] Istg though if we end up needing to grind…
[Ann] you mean get a job? lmao
[Scott] Sh*t, you can do that?
[Ann] um, yes???
[Ryuji] WAIT DONT
[Ann] ???
[Ryuji] he said that the one time he held a job the ran the whole place into the goddamn ground after just a week!!!
[Ann] ...damn. yeah let's let Ren handle any side income then
[Ann] oh yeah, Ren how'd your thing go?
[Scott] Oh, he's afk right now
[Scott] Morgana’s actually teaching him how to make lockpicks and sh*t, somehow
[Scott] From what I can tell though, it went okay! There's some of those pharmacy paper baggies hanging out on the table up here
[Ann] so with whatever ren's making over there, that's all our bases covered, right?
[Ryuji] im pretty sure yeah!
[Ryuji] time to storm the place babeyyy
[Scott] F*ck yeah!!!
[Scott] Hey, now that we've got palace talk outta the way
[Scott] You said you were visiting suzui today, right?
[Scott] ...How is she?
[Ann] her condition's stable
[Ann] but she's in a coma…
[Ryuji] damn…
[Scott] I'm sure she's going to be alright.
[Scott] Antagonists never get the last laugh. Especially if i have anything to say about it here.
[Ann] I mean, this is the real world…
[Ann] but I do really appreciate the sentiment.
[Ann] even if you have a really weird way of saying it lol
[Ann] didn’t you say you met Shiho?
[Scott] I mean, once
[Scott] Almost bumped into her, but she took the chance to tell me to not let all the rumors get to me
[Scott] Which like. I haven't. But it was still good to hear somebody say that
[Ann] she's always been one to look out for people, even if she doesn't know them at all…
[Ann] that's what makes her so great, really
[Ann] plus, I know it's hard to tune out gossip like that totally… been there done that
[Ann] god, I'm so worried…
[Scott] Hey! C'mon, we can't kick Kamoshida’s ass if you're too busy worrying about suzui!
[Scott] I mean, it's fair to be, but y'know what i mean
[Ann] ...yeah, you're right.
[Ann] thanks
[Ann] lol, she really made you care that much abt her after one conversation? sounds abt right
[Scott] ...Maybe
[Scott] Whatever, the sooner we pull this off the better, right
[Scott] We should probably hit the sack pretty soon, make sure we're in peak condition for it
[Ryuji] true
[Ann] I'll try to keep my anxiety from keeping me up!
[Scott] Okay, cool.
[Ryuji] alright, then lets regroup tomorrow on the rooftop before we go hit the castle
[Ryuji] i think this was just in dms but me and ren decided thats gonna be our sickass thief hideout from now on
[Ann] you got it!! >:)
--END LOG--
Scott’s phone-holding arm landed on the mattress under him with a thud. Man, this had been a long day. It didn’t feel like it should have only been April 16th after everything that happened, but that was what the home screen on his phone had been telling him.
He was really doing this, wasn’t he? He was really going to explore that dungeon- or palace- and steal a treasure that would somehow make that bastard into a good person. It didn’t feel real. Well, it wasn’t real, but it didn’t feel like it really was happening around Scott.
I mean, at least it’s not turn-based this way…
Chapter 13: I Just Learned an Easy Way to Get Stuff On the Cheap! (Steal it!)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--4/17-DAYS UNTIL EXPULSION:14--
-DAYTIME-
Yeah, he was really doing this.
It was early in the afternoon when they met on the roof of Shujin Academy, which was somehow perfectly accessible despite it being a Sunday. After going over the plan with Ann and setting up her and Ryuji with the model guns, Ren pulled up the Metaverse Navigator and pressed the keywords in his search history.
Honestly, it hadn’t truly sunk in that Duel was really in on this operation until that moment. The huge castle loomed over the five of them, looking just as ominous as ever.
Wait, five?
“Mona, four party members is the maximum here, right?”
Mona looked at him and tilted his head. “What? Why would we only bring in four people when we’re a five-person team now?”
“We’re about to go into a dungeon, you only bring four people into a dungeon."
“Palace.”
“Same thing.”
“It’s really not, and while there’s the possibility of you guys tripping over each other in the event that things get too crowded, that’s easily avoided with some good old fashioned teamwork. Seriously, where’d you get four from?”
That was odd. Duel could have sworn that Persona 5 was a game with parties of four. Though, he’d never played it before… all this, so maybe he was just wrong about that?
“If you say so.” He said with a shrug.
“Though, we have one thing we actually do need to establish before we go any further.” Mona continued.
“What’s that?” Ann asked.
“Well, we need a codename for you, of course!” he mewed.
Ann gave him a puzzled look. “Codename?”
“Mona thought it would sound cool.” Duel explained.
“T-that wasn’t the only reason!”
Joker spoke up. “I’m Joker, and they’re Duel, Skull, and Mona.” He said, pointing at each thief when their codename was brought up.
“Ooh, I’m down! You guys have any ideas?” Ann said with a smile.
Skull hummed, looking her up and down. “Let’s see… Kitty Woman?”
She scoffed. “Hell no! Any ideas from anyone who isn’t Skull?”
“Catgirl?” Joker added.
“Lady Cat...” Mona swooned.
“Uhh…” Duel thought for a second. “Tums.”
Ann just stared at them.
“Duel, I appreciate the break in template there, but those are all terrible codenames.”
“You can just think of your own codename, Mona suggested Heterochromatic for mine earlier.”
“You are never gonna let that go, are you?” Mona grumbled.
“Wow, and I thought Lady Cat was bad… well, I know I don’t want to just be some little housecat, gotta be something big. So…”
She let out a hum.
“How about Panther?”
“Huh? Why Panther?” Skull asked.
“Sounds way more vicious and intimidating than catgirl, right?”
Joker nodded. “I can see it. Alright, Panther it is.”
“Great, now can we stop waiting around and go steal Kamoshida’s treasure, or find an infiltration route or whatever?” Panther asked, starting to sound impatient.
Mona grinned. “Of course. Alright team, it’s game time!”
“Let’s move out.” Joker said firmly, making his way to the front of the group. Damn, he was a natural leader.
Wait, is he staring at a wall?
Well, this was odd. Duel had only known Joker for a short period of time, but didn’t come off as someone who was easily distracted. That was why he was clearly going to be the protagonist leader of the group.
He walked ahead and in front of Joker, waving a gloved hand (specifically the red one) in his face.
“Hellooo, Earth to Joker?”
Nothing. The guy didn’t even blink.
Summoning his whackin’ cane, Duel lightly tapped the front of Joker’s head.
After what seemed like a few too many taps, Joker suddenly shook his head and blinked a few times.
“Huh?”
“You alright, dude? You were off in another world for a sec there.” Skull said.
“Oh, uh… it’s nothing, just spaced out for a second.”
“He’s so mysterious… perfect for leading a team of mysterious phantom thieves!” Mona mewed.
How the hell did Mona get to that conclusion?
“Uh, yeah. I can be the leader if you guys want me to be. Alright, come on.” Joker was clearly hiding something there...
Actually, I don’t give enough of a sh*t to worry about it.
“Finally, we get to really kick some shadow ass!” Skull cheered, following Joker’s lead as he resumed making his way to the infiltration point.
“Another shadow in that hall, dead ahead!” Skull said, making sure to keep his voice down.
They had been going around the castle for a while now, trying to get a feel for the layout of the place. By now, they’d found a spiraling staircase up to a second floor, which clearly marked the team’s progression by being much more royal-looking than the first story. That floor had a nice entrance hall, but the rest of it was mostly really badly lit and grimy. Only a little bit better than the dungeons, really.
By contrast, this floor was, so far at least, all lined in nice wallpaper and fancy lighting fixtures, with the occasional plush chair for good measure. Duel thought it was weird to have a ton of random chairs out like that, but Mona clearly had other thoughts about the setup.
“Hmm… this looks like the perfect spot to show you guys how to ambush! Alright, watch carefully!”
The cat then ducked behind one of the chairs, scanning the area to make sure the shadow that was standing nearby had its back turned. When he was certain it was, he started doing some sort of duck and weave maneuver from chair to chair. At least, that’s what Duel could guess he was doing. He was going fast, seeming to melt into the shadows (the literal shadows, not the guards) as he moved. When he was finally close enough, he revved up with a little butt wiggle and pounced onto the top of the shadow’s head, yanking its mask off the rest of the armor.
“Okay, move in!” Mona mewed back to the rest of them as the shadow’s guard form burst apart, revealing a single fairy monster. “While we’re at it, somebody knock that thing down!”
“On it!” Joker shouted, summoning Arsene and taking it by surprise with a mass of dark energy.
Mona smirked, and pulled out a slingshot. “Alright, now follow my lead!” He turned his attention to the dazed shadow and notched a… slingshot bullet, aimed in its direction. “This is a hold up, got it?!”
Seeming to get the idea behind what Mona was doing, Joker pulled out his pistol and pointed it right at the enemy. Skull and Panther did the same with their Shotgun and Automatic, so Duel brought out the RPG and readied it on his shoulder.
“Seriously? A slingshot?” Scott hissed at Mona.
“Save it!” Mona hissed back, before returning to a demanding tone.
“Alright, you wanna live? Then give us any money or valuables you’ve got on ya!”
The shadow’s face went pale.
“U-um… I actually don’t have anything…” It stammered.
Mona was caught off guard at that. “Wait, what? You don’t?!”
“N-no! I realized halfway through my shift that I’d left my wallet at home! Honest!”
“Uh… that’s a real blow to this lesson.” Mona admitted. “But that means we can’t let you go, got it?!”
Joker clicked down the hammer on his gun. “Sorry, that’s just how this goes.”
“I-I suppose it’s only fair, isn’t it? I get that, I really do…” The shadow trailed off.
“What? You got somethin’ else we can take?” Skull raised an eyebrow.
“No, it’s just… I remembered something! I’m not just some guard for this Kamoshida guy, I’m a being that resides in the sea of humanity’s souls! How’d I forget that?!”
“Uh…” Mona was at a loss for words.
“You! Black coat guy! My name is Pixie, and from now on, I’m a part of you! That’s pretty valuable, isn’t it?”
Mona was about to protest, but the shadow suddenly began to glow and change shape.
“Huh?!” He managed.
The glowing shape started to solidify, taking on the form of… Joker’s mask?
Before Duel could really think about what the hell could even be going on here, the shape launched itself towards Joker’s face and fused with his existing mask in a big blue flash.
And, just like that, the battle was over. There wasn’t a shadow to actually fight anymore.
“What the hell was that?!” Mona yowled, clearly flustered at not knowing something.
“Yeah, did that shadow just, like, turn into your mask or something?!” Skull asked, eyes wide.
“Well, uh-” Joker started, before he suddenly looked at the hallway that turned ahead of them. “Wait, quiet!”
Another distorted voice characteristic of the guards drifted down the corridor.
“...Of course when my day off finally happens, we start getting intruders pokin’ around, and I gotta be on duty… Can’t wait till the King finally executes those pricks…”
Before they could duck behind any sort of furniture, it turned the corner and spotted them.
Sh*t.
“YOU! You assholes are the reason my break’s down the drain! You’ll pay for this!!!”
When this guard burst apart, it became one of the large horned horses Duel remembered from the close cal with Skull in the entrance hall. In this corridor, it didn’t fit nearly as well, making things kinda cramped for it.
Skull stepped forward, cracking his knuckles. “Alright guys, I know just what to do with these dicks. Captain Ki-”
The horse swatted Skull to the side easily with its huge head. He stuck to the wall for a moment like a damn cartoon character after hitting it with an impressive SMACK.
Duel sighed. “Dammit. There goes this thing’s weakness.”
“Au contraire.” Joker said with a smirk as the shadow stared them down, as if to ask ‘who’s next?’
“What’s with the Spanish?” Duel asked, but Joker was already in motion and summoning his persona.
“PIXIE!” He shouted, making everyone around him put on a confused expression as to just what he was doing here.
Sure enough, a persona appeared. But this time it wasn’t Arsene, it was the fairy they had just fought a moment ago. It was tiny in comparison to Joker’s usual Persona, but it snapped its fingers and sent a bolt of electricity in its direction, which was apparently just as unexpected for the horse as it was for everybody else.
Seeing the downed enemy, Mona pulled himself together enough to signal for an all-out attack. After taking it by surprise, finishing it off in one fell swoop was no problem for the team.
As it finally burst into black goo and smoke, Joker smirked and adjusted his gloves, clearly ready to move the hell on already.
Mona’s eyes glittered. “That was incredible, Joker! Did you just absorb that shadow as another persona? How’s that even possible?!” He mewed, bouncing around like he was a paddleball.
“I think that’s what happened, yeah. Not entirely sure how, though.” Joker said with a shrug.
“Can you keep doing that?! That’d be such a great asset in battle! You’d be ready for anything the enemy could ever throw at you!”
Joker thought for a second. “I think I can, yeah.”
“Wow! With a power like that on our side, stealing this treasure’s gonna be a real piece of cake!” Mona cheered. “Onwards and upwards, everybody!!!”
“Hey, I think that’s a map in there!” Duel told the group, peering between the bars that surrounded another room they found themselves in after continuing to wander around the palace.
“What do we need a map for?” Skull tilted his head a little.
Mona sighed. “You’re useless, Skull… a sense of direction is just what we need right now! Now, how do we get in there…”
Duel stepped back, surveying the area. “Well, looking at those goat heads with chains on ‘em, this is obviously a ‘hit the right switches’ puzzle. Question is, how are you supposed to tell which is which? The right ones are supposed to be different somehow.”
Joker hummed behind them. “I have something...”
“What? You figure it out?” Duel asked.
Instead of answering him with words, Joker pulled the chain directly in front of them, before making his way to the other side of the bars and pulling another.
Ka- CHUNK!
The bars all lowered smoothly.
“Nice going, Joker!” Mona mewed, bouncing up onto the table in the center of the area to get a better look at the yellowed map sitting on it.
Panther and Skull followed him as Joker approached from the other side of the room, but Duel hesitated and took a closer look at a couple of the switches.
There isn’t anything different between this dud and the real thing, how the hell could he tell which ones would work?
“Doesn’t look like this map is complete. There’s no treasure location on here, and it looks like there’s supposed to be another sheet to go with it.” Mona said, turning the thing around in his paws.
Panther crossed her arms. “The maps are stored separately? That’s a real pain.”
“I know, right? Who does that?” Skull nodded.
“It’s definitely another security measure. Still, half a map is better than none!”
Joker nodded. “Looks like there’s at least one more floor above here. If this place keeps going after that, we might find the other map somewhere around that area.”
“Sounds like a plan!” Panther grinned.
Holding the map in front of him and making him look tiny in comparison, Mona jumped off the table and started leading the others in the direction of the staircase up.
“Hey, I gotta ask you something.” Duel called after Joker as he was about to catch up to the others.
“What’s up?”
“How’d you know which switches to pull? I solve these sorts of puzzles in games all the damn time, and I couldn’t even figure out what to look for there.”
Joker fidgeted with his bangs. “It’s weird, I just sorta… had a feeling. I’ve been having those in here ever since we went in today. I think it might be a new ability or something.”
“So I’m not losing my skills! Thank Christ, that’s a huge relief.” Duel said, letting out a breath. “As far as protagonist abilities go, that’s a pretty cool one!”
“Protagonist?” Joker asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Hey!” Skull called back to the two of them. “Are you guys just gonna stand around chatting all day, or are we gonna steal this damn treasure?”
“Coming.” Joker nodded, and the two of them started walking over to the other thieves.
“Sheesh, what’s with this place and puzzles?” Skull groaned. “First that weird lock with some round key we gotta find, and now this shit?”
Duel wasn’t listening, instead focusing on the shelves in front of him as he scanned the titles in that corner of the library they’d stumbled upon.
“Okay, let’s see… the Glorious Life of Kamoshida, the Kamoshida Way, Kamoshida: A Living Legend… Definitely the King Book. It’s the only one we’ve got left, anyways.”
Joker nodded, and slotted it into the empty space between two books. Just like the other two they’d already put in, it slid in and made a clicking noise somewhere when fitted in all the way.
Just as he expected, a low rumbling came from the wall beside them. The bookshelf to their left slowly swung out, revealing a secret room behind it.
“Easy!” Duel bragged.
“Quit braggin’ about how smart you are! I’ve seen your homework, and even I could tell that shit was all wrong!” Skull retorted.
“Wh- why were you looking?!” Duel cried.
“So I could copy it, duh!”
“We aren’t even in the same class! What good would that do?!”
Panther’s quiet, shaky voice cut right through their argument.
“...Shiho?”
Skull and Duel turned, and what they saw made them both go pale.
The secret room was a shrine.
Not like a reasonable type of shrine like the one dedicated to Madden 08 in Duel’s closet back in Ohio, no. This was much, much worse.
Books were haphazardly stacked in the corners of the secret room, which was clearly also acting as overflow storage. That wasn’t part of what made this room so disturbing, but the way they made the place feel even smaller than it was really wasn’t helping.
A restraining device like the one the others had found Panther in was in the center of the room, sitting on a very nice-looking red rug that matched the ornate wallpaper that made the room different shades of deep, rose-like reds.
There were a couple other restraining devices of a different type pushed off to the sides, those big wooden things with two hand holes and a head hole you always see in cartoons. Below them, a long line of candles circled the half of the rug that faced the wall, and what was on those walls sent chills down Duel’s spine.
Around the one overblown oil painting of Kamoshida himself were countless photos held up by pins.
And they were all photos of Suzui.
They were candid, she probably had no idea these were taken if they existed in the real world as well. They were all of Suzui as she looked normally, rather than some cognitive variant like the fake Panther that bastard was all cozy with.
And that wasn’t a good sign for the idea of these only existing in this palace.
Whichever it was, by the time Duel tore his eyes away from the sight he could see Panther trembling.
He turned back to the room, gripping his whackin’ cane so tightly, his knuckles were probably going white under the brightly-colored gloves he wore.
“He is so paying for this sh*t.”
He could hear Panther take a deep breath behind him. “Yeah. Let’s take him down.”
“There’s probably something important in here if he kept it this hidden. Let’s find it, and get the hell out.” Joker stated, clearly just as disgusted as everybody else.
“Yeah, let’s.” Panther agreed.
“Yo, over here!” Skull called them over. “Found a map and a round thingy!”
Mona approached where Skull was looking, next to a shelf on one side of the room, and took a closer look.
“Looks like it. This medal looks like it could fit into that other lock, too.”
Panther uncomfortably crossed her arms. “That’s great and all, but let’s inspect it more literally anywhere else. I don’t want to be in here any longer than I have to.”
“Of course, Panther.” Mona nodded. “I think I sense a safe room a little ways ahead, we can examine it there.”
“Hold on, before that.” Duel said, tone uncharacteristically serious. “Joker, lemme borrow your knife.”
Joker shrugged, and pulled it out by the blade, pointing its hilt in Duel’s direction. “Sure, I guess. Just return it before we need to fight anything.”
“Yeah, don’t worry. I only need it for a second.” He muttered, accepting the knife.
Without saying another word, Duel walked up to the oil portrait of Kamoshida that was the centerpiece of the shrine room, and sliced a huge gash into its canvas that went right through the king’s face.
Notes:
Another long one this week, and the first palace is finally truly underway! It was really hard to establish Joker's abilities as a wild card without things screeching to a total halt, so I tried to make it especially comedic to make up for it. I don't know how the hell guns work by the way, so apologies if my writing is a bit inaccurate in that area! Anything specific I say about them is going to be based on watching stuff like Supernatural with captions on, lmao
But yeah, see you guys next week, and thank you as always for reading!
Chapter 14: It’s Not Like Real Life, Where Pushing Something Off Till Later Will Get You in Deep Trouble...
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--4/18-DAYS UNTIL EXPULSION:13--
-MORNING-
Scott yawned. Morgana had suggested they head back from the palace after they confirmed that the second sheet they found completed their map, which he thought was dumb… until he actually got back to Leblanc and almost fell asleep sitting up over Sojiro’s dinner curry. Even after falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow the previous night, Scott still felt like he could nod off at any moment.
...Which he realized he had done when something nailed him in the face.
“WOZNIAK! Pay attention! Other teachers might let this crap slide so they don’t need to deal with you, but I’m not tolerating disrespect from anybody, got it?!” Mr. Ushimaru yelled from the front of the classroom.
Oww! The hell did this guy throw?!
Blinking the sleep out of his eyes, he looked down at his desk and found a stick of chalk nestled in the spine of his social studies textbook.
He nailed me that hard with chalk???
“Hmph, whatever. Now, back to the executive branch…”
Scott rubbed at the spot on his forehead that he obviously couldn’t see, but he just knew was turning red right about now. Mr. Ushimaru took out a fresh stick from a box next to the chalkboard’s eraser and just carried on teaching like nothing happened.
"Jeez, that looked like it hurt…"
"Getting chalk to the face from Mr. Ushimaru is a bit of a rite of passage at Shujin, isn't it?"
"Makes sense he's goofing off… apparently he's getting expelled on May 2nd!"
"Seriously?! That was fast, what did he even do?"
"I dunno… but the other criminal transfer and Sakamoto are both getting kicked out too, must've been something really, really bad for all three of them to be behind it!"
"I bet they beat up another guy! That's what happened the first time, yeah?"
"QUIET DOWN!" Mr. Ushimaru boomed, shocking the entire room into silence before he continued.
Well, he was definitely awake after all that. It was still hard to focus on the lecture, and it wasn’t like he really wanted to in the first place. It was just… all the stupid rumors getting spread around were starting to get really old. He knew they were just NPCs following a pre-programmed role, but…
No. I'm not letting it get to me. I mean… I owe Suzui that much.
-AFTER SCHOOL-
Yeah, there was no way Scott was gonna be of any use inside the palace that day. He was still tired as hell, ready to doze off at any given moment.
Ann had looked like she was the same way, and Ren was definitely even quieter than usual, even if he was harder to read. He could only guess, but he was willing to bet Ryuji had gotten hassled for sleeping in class too.
So they didn't go that day. The date of the next teacher meeting was May 2nd, and that was when Kamoshida would be making his move. For now, they had time to pace themselves. If they went in like this, they would no doubt get swept easily.
And given how he had no idea how that would go in here, now being a part of the game’s inner workings or something… Scott really didn't want to find out what would happen to him after a game over.
So, Scott wandered the backstreets of Yongen-Jaya for a bit. Ren was already getting stuck on shifts with Sojiro at Leblanc, and he could tell he was gonna be next on the chopping block. For now, he was gonna keep an eye out for ways to bust out of Persona 5 to take as soon as Kamoshida was dealt with. He admittedly had no clue what he was looking for, but… he'd know it when he saw it. He was at least sure of that.
...That said, he wasn’t seeing anything, either. It was weird, all gripes aside, to get plucked from the area of buttf*ck nowhere, Ohio, and dropped into buttf*ck everywhere, Japan. Not even just as a matter of size, either. Everything was different around here, whether it was in function or just by looks. The train system was a real pain in the ass to figure out for sure, and Scott still couldn't finish anything without it getting cold whenever chopsticks were involved.
But at the same time, it was weird just how normal everything was. Yeah, he was basically on the other side of the goddamn globe, but here he was, contemplating his choice of snack foods in the supermarket like he wasn’t also fighting shadows in the depths of Kamoshida’s heart or whatever the hell that place was on the side.
...Yeah, he didn’t recognize any of this stuff. He figured he might as well take a detour when he saw this place, but the only name he recognized here was Kit-Kat. Somehow, those were saved from the copyright-free name edits he kept noticing so many other names. That said, that wasn’t exactly saying much when many of the flavors were completely different than what he'd expect in, well, any American candy.
Matcha, chocolate orange, red bean… this stuff works in a Kit-Kat?
"Oh, hey Scott." Someone said behind him, startling Scott out of his train of thought so hard he jumped.
"Heh, it's just me."
Turning around, Ren stood behind him with a shopping basket in one hand.
"Jesus, don't sneak up on me like that! I thought Sojiro was making you work the cafe?"
"We're almost out of carrots for the curry. Apparently he forgot to pick up more while he was running around setting up for us." He explained.
Scott relaxed his shoulders that were still tensed up. "Oh. Yeah, that makes sense."
"What about you? You looked like you were making a life-changing decision or something."
"Oh I, uh…"
God, it felt weird just talking to an NPC like a normal-ass human. Then again, the thought of just straight up not making conversation was even weirder.
"I… Don’t know any of these brands." He admitted.
"Oh yeah, you're from America. Ohio, right? Is that even a real state?"
Scott shrugged. "Honestly, I'm not one-hundred percent sure it is."
"You're not…? Actually, I'm just going to need to get used to you saying weird things, aren't I?"
Scott didn’t know how to respond to that, but thankfully Ren moved on from that point.
"I'm not really that familiar with standard American snacks, but Calbee chips are a safe bet. They've got the standard lightly salted stuff, but there's also the soy sauce mayo chips or the seaweed salt chips if you're looking for a gateway to some of the other stuff here. Looks like the fortune butter chips are on sale right now, too."
Scott made a face. "I hate deals."
"You… huh?"
"I'm always getting catfished by 'em! One minute, I think someone's just making small talk, next thing I know, I realize they're one of those buy one, get one free specials!"
Ren just looked at him for a second.
“Don’t you need to go get those carrots? Sojiro’s gonna chew you out if you take too long, y’know.” Scott asked, meeting his gaze.
“...Yeah, you’re right. Good luck avoiding deals.” Ren really sounded like he was really trying to get what he was talking about, which had been weirdly rare ever since he'd gotten here. He gave Scott a friendly wave, and left him to his snack conundrum as he went in the direction of the produce.
...Was that supposed to be some kind of bonding moment?
Nah, there’s no way to program something like that with a guy who isn’t supposed to exist.
Scott looked back at the shelves of chips, picking up a standard bag before his eyes fell on the seaweed salt variety stocked next to it.
...F*ck it, I’ll take Ren’s advice on this.
--4/20-DAYS UNTIL EXPULSION:12--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
“Okay, let’s go.” Ren said, firing up the Nav and pressing the search history entry that led to Kamoshida’s castle.
The downtime had done wonders for Scott, and it also gave him time to stop by Untouchable and sell a ton of random crap he’d picked up in the palace. The owner (who Scott had learned was named Iwai) seemed suspicious about where stuff had actually come from, but still allowed him to pawn it off without any questions.
“You should be grateful I’m taking this stuff.” Scott remembered him saying. He actually was grateful, since he was able to use the money to upgrade the team’s guns. He even got himself a new RPG model that was actually the size of an RPG, Which was even clunkier than the smaller one Ryuji had gotten, but it would definitely be dealing more damage.
Now, as the real(-ish) world melted away and they made their way back to the furthest safe room they’d found so far, Duel was actually getting kinda fired up. They got to their starting point quickly, since it took far less time to make progress when you actually knew where the f*ck you were going.
Once they arrived, Mona got the palace map back out and spread it out on the table in the center of the room.
“Okay, The treasure’s in this central tower here. There’s an area on this building’s roof that’ll lead to it, so we’re starting to get pretty close to it. Our objective today is finalizing our infiltration route, got it?” He explained.
“Seems pretty simple to me.” Duel nodded.
The other Thieves made various noises of agreement, and Mona smiled.
“Good. Now, let’s head out!”
The roof of the east building annex they had managed to make it to seemed to act as a courtyard of sorts. That said, it didn’t contain anything a courtyard should have. There weren’t any chairs, tables, plants, any of that sort of thing. Other than some crates tucked into a corner by the windows that looked into the central tower, the place was totally barren.
No guards, either. That’s a nice change of pace.
Mona’s eyes glittered. “The treasure’s at the top of the tower up there! We’re getting so close I can taste it!” He mewed, dashing across the open area towards the tower door.
“Hey, Mona, wait up!” Joker called, following the cat’s mad dash for the treasure’s location.
The others followed close behind, and Skull got in a “Don’t just run off without us, ya damn cat!”
As the others caught up, Mona was bouncing with excitement at the thought of finally getting his paws on some treasure, but Duel wasn’t as ecstatic.
Hold on, a big checkpoint like this, and no guards? There’s no way that’s right…
Sure enough, his suspicions were confirmed as soon as Joker pulled on the door’s handle.
Not only did the door not budge, but it was clearly trapped. Duel was the first to see three shadows rise up from the ground out of nowhere, and he could tell the others could see just as well as he did that these shadows were bad f*cking news.
Red aura?! Sh*t, that’s bad!
The shadow’s true form that appeared before them when their armor burst apart was… also wearing armor. Duel frowned, getting distracted by that for a moment.
...Now that's just redundant.
Actually, they didn’t have time to think about the weirdness of that, they had to get ready to face off against the three armored men on horseback getting ready to skewer them with their lances. These guys were different from the one they faced when Skull first got his persona, almost looking like the subordinates of the earlier shadow. These guys had a dark bluish-grey suit of armor rather than the bright red fur-trimmed armor they had fought before.
They surrounded the thieves, using the wall to corner them.
“We’ve gotta get these guys to back off, or we’re dead meat!” Mona shouted.
Skull smirked, and readied his shotgun. “Leave it to me, I’m gonna make these guys eat fuckin’ lead!”
BANG!
The sound of pellets clattering to the ground rang out around them, and the shadows paused, completely unscathed. Even through the armor, it was very clear that they were glaring at Skull in a way that, without speaking a single word, said ‘really?’ clear as day.
Skull lowered the shotgun.
“Well, I’ve done all I can do.” He said with a shrug, before getting swatted to the side by the center shadow’s lance and hitting a wall again, this time with a THWAP instead of a SMACK.
“SKULL!” Panther cried, before turning back to the shadows with a fiery rage. “You’re paying for that, ya hear me?! CARMEN!”
Panther and Carmen shot an impressively-sized fireball targeted again at the central shadow, and this time it did seem scathed… but barely. The horse the shadow was riding (or were they all one thing? Duel actually wasn’t sure, come to think of it) had the tips of its mane become slightly singed, but it was still entirely unimpressed.
“...Oh.”
THWAP!
Aaand Skull and Panther are both on Team Wall now. Great.
“Well, we know their natural resistances for next time, I guess…” Joker said nervously.
“If there’s a next time!” Mona yowled. “Like I said, we gotta make these guys back off fast, or we’re done for!”
“Wait, if this is just a matter of trying different attacks ‘till something works…” Duel muttered thoughtfully, before suddenly changing to a shout. “DAROACH!”
My fire attacks may be ass compared to Panther’s, I’ll give her that…
With a twirl of Daroach’s cane, a large chunk of ice quickly formed between the lancer and its mount before it violently burst, knocking them both backwards.
But I can make up for it in ass-kicking flexibility!
“Okay, you guys finish off that guy, I’ll knock down the other two!” He called over his shoulder as he adjusted his mask-glasses and called upon Daroach’s power again.
“Good going, Duel!” Mona mewed in relief, before pouncing on the downed enemy with his scimitar.
By the time the other two shadows were downed, Mona was already finished with the one that had been in the center.
Seeing an opportunity much like the battle when Skull awakened his persona and when Joker first showed off his slick persona-switching schtick, Duel grinned.
“Mona, Joker, get in here! We’re going all out!”
With the familiar increase in speed and whacks-per-second, here went back and forth between the two guards as the other two did similar damage with their blades. After the first one finally dissipated, his grin got even bigger as he went in for the big finish, rapidly twirling his cane above him before hammering it down on the enemy, taking it out with a final BONK.
“Bye all, Scott’s out!” He cheered to the remaining black sludge and the dust coming from it.
There was a beat of silence, before Duel turned back to Mona and Joker behind him.
“What?”
Mona stifled a laugh. “Duel, what the heck was that?!”
“What do you mean, ‘what was that?’ It was a witty celebratory one-liner!”
“...I don’t get it.” Joker admitted.
“Seriously?! I introduce myself with ‘hey all’ like, once a week!”
“Since everybody was so goddamn worried, me and Panther are fine!” Skull’s voice called sarcastically from the side of the courtyard.
“Good. I was just about to check on you two, actually.” Joker said with a smile.
“Yeah, yeah. Is that door still locked?”
Mona hummed, and jumped up to tug on the pull handle that previously set off a trap. Thankfully that seemed to be a one-and-done deal, since no more shadows popped up. However, it still didn’t budge an inch. After a few good seconds of pulling hard on the handle, Mona dropped down to the floor.
“No good. I think it’s locked from the inside.”
“Can’t we just break a window or something?” Duel asked.
“I doubt it.” Mona shook his head. “The windows are part of the palace structure, so it’ll be held together by the treasure. If it could break, it’d most likely just reform before anyone could have the chance to go through.”
“So we need another way in, is what you’re saying?” Panther asked, scanning the area around them.
“This might be a route.” Joker said, pointing at a stack of crates nestled in the corner to the left of the door that were piled in a way that made them easily climbable, giving access to the top of the wall above them.
“Alright, let’s give it a shot!” Mona mewed with a nod.
“Mona, I’m pretty sure this isn’t a f*cking path!!” Duel exclaimed, looking on at the castle wall that alternated in height. This would be fine on its own, but the lower points were lined with f*cking spikes.
“Sure it is! Just don’t make your jump too short!”
“Easy for you to say, you’ve got cat legs to jump with!”
Mona let out a small groan at getting called a cat again, but had clearly given up on correcting him. “Jumps like this are easy when you’re a phantom thief. Anybody wanna show Duel here he’s being a worrywart?”
“Worrywart my ass! Those spikes could f*cking skewer us!”
Skull stepped forward. “Well, it’s not like there’s any better path. I’ll give it a shot!”
“I’ll be pre-ordering tickets to the funeral, then...” Duel grumbled, crossing his arms.
Skull touched both hands to the wall section below him, readying himself in a position Duel recognized from the track events in Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games. After a couple deep breaths, he sprinted down the short remainder of the section, before jumping as best he could while favoring one leg.
Duel wasn’t sure what he expected, but Skull suddenly becoming a shadowy blur that touched down safely on the next raised wall section definitely wasn’t it. He landed in a similar position to the one he started in, and wasn’t f*cking dead. He shot up, and quickly turned back to the others.
“The hell was that?!” He shouted.
“You don’t know?!” Duel shouted in response.
Mona rolled his eyes. “Like I said, easy for a phantom thief. Now come on!” He repeated, before bouncing to catch up with Skull.
Joker hesitated, but easily made the jump in a similar manner as the two before him, and Panther followed close behind.
Which just left Duel as the last one to cross.
“You’re seriously making me do this?!” He yelled to the others.
“Hurry up, dude! Seriously, that was freakin’ easy!” Skull shouted with a grin.
Duel cursed a few times under his breath, before getting a running start and actually making himself jump.
He tried his hardest to make himself not look down, instead focusing on the non-spiked stone surface ahead of him.
Don’t get killed, don’t get killed, don’t get killed…
As that thought played on a frantic loop in Duel’s mind, something odd happened. He felt himself become weirdly light, and for a single excruciatingly long and terrifying second, the world around him was nothing but a blur of speed. His heart skipped a beat, thinking he’d missed the wall entirely and was about to be flattened rather than impaled.
But, before he knew it, he was standing in one perfectly not-killed piece on the section he was aiming for.
Mona smirked. “Told you. Just keep doing that, and you’ll be fine. Now, let’s go already!”
Jesus christ…
Notes:
This part was also real tricky to pace...
I may have noted this in the past, but the idea behind Scott's phantom thief form and fighting style is that he's pretty evenly skilled in both physical strength and magic attack strength, although he's not as hard-hitting in either as someone like Ann or Ryuji are in their respective strengths. A jack of two trades but a master of neither, pretty much. He also uses both fire and ice, similar to how Crow utilizes both bless and curse on a weaker scale than Joker and Violet do.
I'm not exactly making battle animations for this fic, but imagine him as being very slapstick-like in his attacks. Scott the Woz videos are already full of that sort of humor, but turn it up to 11 for his fighting style in the Metaverse! It's some real Bugs Bunny-type shit, which is crazy difficult to write, but I can try, dammit!As always, thank you for reading, and I'll see you next week! Crazy that we're up to 14 chapters already, huh?
Chapter 15: I Actually Toned the Logo Down, I Didn’t Want to Get Too Laid...
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
After a frankly ridiculous number of jumps along the castle walls that freaked out Duel every time without fail, the thieves finally encountered an open window into the central tower. When he was finally on solid ground that didn’t threaten to impale him every few feet, Duel put his hands on his knees and let out a huge sigh of relief.
“Christ, my nerves are so fried…” He said in a half-whimper.
The room they were in was small, with the same black-and-white checkered tile floors they’d seen in other areas of the palace. Paintings lined the walls near the top of the room where the window they came in through was, but the room seemed to mostly be a storage closet of sorts.
Duel stood up straight again, stretching a bit as he did. “Okay, the treasure’s in here somewhere, right? Let’s get the rest of this over with already.”
When Ren pushed open the large doors out of the closet, the environment around them did a complete 180.
The hell…?
The walls and floors had deep pits in some places, while others jutted up and out in pillar-like structures. As they did, a substance just like what the shadows turned into when defeated rolled off its sides in waves. The statue placement was not only more random, but somehow less tasteful at the same time, with them being giant headless busts of, well… busts.
“The fuck is all this?!” Skull cried.
“Looks like the distortion’s even stronger here than usual. That means we’re getting really close!” Mona said, scanning the area.
“That’s great, but…” Panther pointed upwards. “How are we gonna reach a door that’s like, 10 feet off the ground?”
“Can’t find out without taking a look.” Duel said, walking in its direction after making sure the coast was clear.
As soon as he was close enough to stop and look for mechanisms or switches or whatever, a staircase unfolded itself out of thin air, leading straight to the door above.
Duel flinched, narrowly avoiding one of the steps smacking him in the face as it fell into place.
“Well, that answers that question!” He called back to the other thieves.
The team made swift progress in ascending the central tower, after fighting a bunch of shadows in their way, solving a puzzle in order to turn off a trap involving giant swinging axes, pretty standard late-dungeon stuff. They even found an elevator shortcut that led all the way back to the entrance hall.
Well, the dick slime miniboss wasn’t exactly standard, moreso f*cking gross, but overall it was pretty much what Duel had been expecting. Now, they stood in front of the largest door they’d seen here by far, definitely several stories tall on its own at least.
Mona’s whiskers twitched. “I can sense it, the treasure’s just up ahead! One, two rooms away at most! C’mon guys, let’s get our paws on some treasuuu-” Mona cheered as he made a running start for the huge door, leaping up to bust through it, and-
“OW!!!”
“I think it’s locked.” Joker pointed out, fidgeting with his bangs.
Mona rubbed his forehead with his paw, his eyes becoming a cartoonish swirl for a moment. “Bluh… yeah, you think?”
“...And the lock’s too high up for me to pick.” He added, pointing up at the keyhole that was barely visible at like, 15 feet off the ground.
Skull’s eyes widened. “For real?! How the hell do they use it like that?”
Duel put one hand to his chin. “It’s a lock we can’t reach, it’s not really that deep. We just need another way in, like…” He paused, looking around the area. “There.”
A gap was there on the wall, fairly high up. However, that wouldn't be an issue with the bust statue just below it, its pose letting it act as a perfect step stool with the way it… accentuated certain parts.
"Weird as hell, but a path's a path, right?" He finished with an apologetic shrug.
"Then what are we waiting for?! Let's go, treasure awaits!" Mona trilled, already ascending the statue as he spoke.
Panther sighed. "He doesn't waste any time, does he?"
"How the hell has nobody caught those damn thieves yet?!"
Shadow Kamoshida screamed at his army of guards, which had been clearly called in here for an assembly of sorts. None of the guard shadows said a word in response to their king's question, which clearly was not the right move.
"WELL?!" The guy looked like he was gonna burst a vein on that huge head of his.
One of the guards near the back mustered up the courage to speak.
"W-we're truly sorry, Your Majesty! It's just- a-and I mean no disrespect by this- they're just too fast, and I think they've been destroying any guards that do spot them!"
Kamoshida snarled. "I don't want any of your damn EXCUSES! Just get out there and KILL THOSE THIEVES!!!" he bellowed, waving a pointing finger into the crowd, frantic as hell.
Little did he know, getting his guards out wouldn't do any good, as those ‘damn thieves’ looked down on the screaming king from the upper-level catwalk in the throne room.
He's screaming too much to even hear us, what a dumbass!
Duel snickered to himself, as quietly as he could. Getting caught here would end badly, he didn’t need any gaming instincts to be sure of that.
As soon as Kamoshida started laying into the other shadows again, Joker quietly turned the handle on the room right behind him, with only a single staircase separating the two of them. He clearly didn't expect them to get this far, because it wasn't even locked. Under the cover of the king's screaming fit, the five of them all slipped inside, and the entire castle was none the wiser.
The team stood in, without a shadow of a doubt, the palace treasure room. The entire floor held a pile of gold and jewels that could easily fill a swimming pool for Scrooge McDuck, with enough left over to fill a Jacuzzi to go with it.
"What are we even looking for here?" Duel asked Mona.
There’s no way we can carry anywhere near all of this, there’s gotta be some specific item somewhere.
"I'm glad you asked, Duel! We'll be stealing what's floating in the air there." He responded, pointing one paw a few feet off the ground at the center of the room.
Wait, what?
The floating thing Mona was pointing at was nothing more than a hazy glow. You could call it a cloud, but that would be an extremely generous description of its… there-ness.
Skull waltzed up to the treasure and stuck his hand into it. It went straight through. Then he tried waving his hand in the treasure, but all that did was make the haze waver a little.
"Seriously?! How the hell are we gonna steal somethin' we can't touch?" He grumbled.
"By making it something tangible, of course!" Mona mewed, a huge grin on his face while he stood on the central pile of gold to use like a pedestal.
"You see, 'desires' aren't something you'd think of as physical, right? So, what we need to do is send a calling card, a warning that his desires are going to be stolen. You can only steal physical objects, so we'll be able to nab it after that!"
"Seriously? Why didn't we just do that at the start, so we could steal it now, then?" Panther asked.
"Another fantastic question, Panther." Mona continued with a swoon. "The impression we make with a calling card only lasts for about a day, before the target writes it off as a weird prank or something. After that, no matter how many cards we send, the treasure won't manifest again. So, that's why we secure a route first, to make sure the actual heist goes as smoothly as possible!"
Mona crossed his arms, looking pretty pleased with himself.
Joker put a hand to his chin. "I think I get it… so we just create a warning back in reality, make sure Kamoshida sees it, and then we steal it before the day’s out?"
"Correct." Mona nodded. "You'll probably have to start once your classes end, however. There may be no real way no trace this back to us, but we should still make sure you guys get as little attention as possible."
"Yeah, good luck with that…" Duel mumbled, thinking back to all the rumors flying around in the Shujin hallways, and those were probably the least of it if they weren't bothering to wait until he and Ren were out of earshot before bringing it up.
"Well… no more attention than usual should suffice. But we can go over more details at the hideout, can't we? We've got our infiltration route, so let’s head out for now!"
"Got it." Joker said with a nod.
--4/21-DAYS UNTIL EXPULSION:11--
-MORNING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] is it just me or can you guys not focus for shit today either
[Ann] it’s not just you…
[Ann] if i weren’t totally exhausted from exploring the castle, i don’t think i would have gotten any sleep :(
[Ren] Speaking of, we should make sure we’re well rested before we do anything calling-card related.
[Ann] no complaints there...
[Ren] If we’ve only got a single shot at this, then we’ve got to make sure it goes off without a hitch.
[Scott] No pressure or anything! Just a make or break situation with a tight-ass time limit!
[Ann] i don’t want to worry any more than i need to until then, thank you very much! >:0
[Ann] but now that you bring it up, i wonder… what are we even going to put on it? it’s a warning of sorts, right?
[Ryuji] leave that to me!!!
[Ryuji] ive got some choice fuckin words for that bastard >:)
[Scott] What about the other side of the card?
[Ann] wym?
[Scott] A card’s got two sides on it, what are we gonna put on the other side?
[Ryuji] would it really matter? Pretty sure thats free real estate right there
[Ren] Morgana says the warning’s the only thing that matters, yeah.
[Scott] In that case, I can make a sick logo
[Scott] I’ve got some drawing experience under my belt that’ll come in handy!
[Ryuji] dude seriously??? Thats perfect!
[Ryuji] okay, then im on writing duty, and scott does the logo
[Ryuji] any objections to that?
[Ren] None from me.
[Ann] nope, that’s good with me!
[Ryuji] thats settled then!!!
[Scott] This is gonna be the coolest f*cking calling card you guys have ever seen
[Ann] i don’t think i’ve ever seen a calling card before, actually…
[Scott] Then it’ll still be the coolest by default!
[Ren] That’s a good point.
[Ren] Okay, let me know when the card’s good to go, and then we can pick the day it all goes down.
[Ryuji] let’s steal that bastards heart!!! >:D
--END LOG--
Scott put his phone back in his pocket, but didn’t turn his attention back to the lecture. There was no way he was gonna be able to pay attention anyways, so he started doodling ideas for the calling card logo in his notebook instead.
I’m gonna need to get rid of this page later, kinda a literal paper trail… Jesus, I’m seriously thinking like a thief now?
He started by drawing a character head with spiky hair and the boater hat his phantom thief attire came in.
Hell no, nowhere near cool enough for a calling card.
Scott quickly amended the design, shading in the hat with his pencil and adding a section to the top, turning it into a top hat.
Yeah, that’s more like it…
After adding a dark mask to the character and a sinister smirk, as well as taking a few tries to get the eyes right, there it was.
Holy sh*t, that’s a good logo.
Actually, no, it was still missing something. Scott thought back to the announcement trailer of Joker (or rather Ren, come to think of it) as a DLC Smash Bros. fighter. Didn’t they have a tagline or something too?
Oh, yeah!
He added the tagline below the character. Now the logo was done.
“Take Your Heart!”
Hell. F*cking. Yes.
Notes:
I ALMOST FUCKIGN FORGOT TO UPDATE, SHIT
Thank fuck I realized before the day was out, especially right here at the climax of the Kamoshida arc!
Also, I actually doodled a little something emulating Scott's art style to replace the the first card logo Ryuji makes in the game! Just 'cause I thought it'd be neat :)
Chapter 16: Seizing the Castle of Lust
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--4/25-DAYS UNTIL EXPULSION:7--
-MORNING-
Scott didn’t need to wonder how Ryuji was planning on delivering the calling card for long. Up front and center on the bulletin boards that were the first thing you saw walking into Shujin Academy were a cluster of bright red postcard-size pieces of stiff paper, each printed with Scott’s logo and Ryuji’s message, which was created by cutting up what were clearly screenshots of existing websites and photoshopping together the characters he needed, much like a stereotypical ransom letter. Some of the cards were pinned up the other way around, so the logo got its own share of the spotlight as well.
People had already crowded around the board, making the area abuzz with confused and slightly worried murmurs.
“A calling card? Like, the ones in some detective movies?”
“I know someone who gets here really early for volleyball stuff, and he said these were already here when he showed up! Did somebody break in?!”’
“What’s with this other side? ‘Take your heart?’ What’s all that about?”
The size of the cards and the large crowd already there made it hard for Scott to get a good look at the card, even he had no idea what Ryuji had put on it. He actually had to stand on his toes to get a decent view of one.
Mr. Suguru Kamoshida, the utter bastard of lust.
We know how shitty you truly are, and that you carry out your sick and twisted desires on students who are defenseless against you.
That’s why we will be stealing away these desires, and making you confess all of your sins.
This will be happening the same day you read this, so if you think you can do anything to stop us, have it ready.
- The Phantom Thieves of Hearts.
Damn, Ryuji wrote this?
Well, that arrogant challenge at the end there is definitely his style.
By the time Scott was done reading the card, even more people had entered the school and noticed the cards, only making the murmurs get louder.
“Desires? Sins? What did Mr. Kamoshida even do?”
“Wait, are those rumors about him abusing the volleyball team actually true?! I didn’t think there was any way that could be real…”
“What does it mean, ‘stealing away these desires?’ Are they gonna, like, steal something he pre-ordered on his off time?”
“Dude, that makes no sense. I dunno what that does mean, but it’s not that. Besides, what’s up with this logo? Looks like something a guy would doodle in class or something.”
“Psst, Scott!”
Wait, that last voice was familiar.
Ryuji was hugging the corner of the wall behind Scott, trying to get his attention and looking suspicious as hell doing it.
Thank Christ no teachers have checked this out yet…
“C’mon, group meeting!” Ryuji hissed.
Scott rolled his eyes, but let him lead the way to where Ren and Ann were waiting partway down the hall.
“Whaddaya think? Not half bad, am I right?” He said, rubbing his nose and grinning. “Took forever to find shit online to reference, but it was so worth it.”
“Yeah, not bad.” Ann said, crossing her arms. “Not exactly great, either. Points on some of the bigger words, but it definitely still reads like a dumb teenager wrote it, trying to sound like an adult.” She said with a shrug.
Scott raised an eyebrow. “Come on, it’s not that bad! I probably would have written something pretty similar if it were me.”
Morgana’s muffled voice came from Ren’s bag. “Precisely. The logo could use some work too, while I’m on the topic.”
“It 'could use some work?!' That was my latest masterpiece!” Scott argued.
Ryuji leaned back on the table against the hallway’s wall. “Jesus Morgana, who pissed in your kibble this morning?”
“Like I would ever eat any low quality crunchy crap like that! Look, the important thing is that Kamoshida sees the card himself, where is he?!”
“WHAT IS THIS?!”
With perfect dramatic timing, Kamoshida’s voice boomed through the school’s entrance and nearby hallways, startling the group huddled around the board.
“Which one of you put these up?! You’re looking pretty shady, did you do this? Or was it you?! Someone better own up to this!!!” He said, frantically accusing random students that took his arrival as the cue to get the hell out of there and into their classrooms for shelter. Similarly, Morgana froze in Ren’s bag to keep it from squirming, even though he had never actually poked his head out.
As the crowd dispersed, Kamoshida turned his glare to the few people still hanging around, which happened to just be Scott and the others.
“I bet you scum are behind this, aren’t you?!” He shouted, looking even more like he was gonna bust a vein on his head than his shadow self did a few days earlier.
Ren innocently tilted his head. “Huh?”
“What are you accusing us for?” Scott started, making eye contact with Kamoshida before he continued. “You don’t have any proof to speak of, right?”
The teacher’s eyes widened, looking like they were about to pop out of his head, but a second later he squeezed them shut and took a deep breath.
“I have better things to be doing than wasting my time reasoning with petty criminals. Doesn’t even matter, you’re already being expelled no matter what you do.”
As he turned, something weird happened. The school around them briefly wavered, and when Scott blinked, the Kamoshida before them wasn’t the PE teacher, but the shadow King, sh*tty crown and all.
Tilting his head upwards, he glared at them from over his shoulder with those freaky glowing yellow eyes.
“Steal it if you can, scumbags.”
The way he sneered at them, clearly agitated but still smug as all hell, made Scott’s hair stand on end. There was a palpable tension in the air, hanging over the entire school like humidity on a summer day. It was no longer a general vibe you’d get in specific situations, this was damn near physical.
Scott blinked again, and he was once again a PE teacher walking away from them, as if the sh*t they’d just seen hadn’t even happened. To anyone who wasn’t in on the plan, it probably didn’t.
As Kamoshida got farther away, Morgana finally poked his head out of Ren’s bag.
“No doubt about it, that calling card worked. A reaction like that, there’s no way we didn’t have an effect on his palace!”
“So we’re stealing the treasure today?” Ann asked, gripping the strap on her school bag tighter.
“Yes. It has to be today, or the treasure will turn into haze again and never be able to reform.”
Ren fidgeted with his bangs. “So we’ve only got this one chance, huh?”
“One chance is all we need.” Scott stated, with a determined glare in Ren’s direction.
...At least, I hope that’s all we need.
-AFTER SCHOOL-
“Infiltration tools?” Joker called out.
“Check.” Mona mewed, patting one of his belt pouches.
“Guns ready?”
“Check!” Duel confirmed.
“First aid…” Joker patted down the many pockets on his phantom thief jacket. “Check.”
Skull groaned. “Come on, at this rate the day’s gonna be done by the time you guys go over all this shit again!”
“You know we’ve only got one shot at this. Leaving any of this stuff behind could easily mess up the entire operation.”
“Whatever… is that all of it?”
“Hmm…” Joker silently counted on his fingers. “Yeah, that’s all of it.”
“Thank fuckin’ god…” Skull sighed in relief.
Duel tapped a foot impatiently on the wooden drawbridge below them. “We’re taking the secret elevator behind the entrance hall, right?”
“Yeah. We’ll probably need to take out some guards stationed there, but they’ll be spread out over the entire castle today. They won’t be anything we can’t handle, either. After that, it’s a straight shot from the part of the central tower the elevator stops at to the treasure.” Joker recapped.
“We’re really stealing his desires, huh?” Panther asked in a flat tone.
Joker looked up at the castle looming over them, that was seeming to almost pulsate with the same tenseness Duel had felt all day.
“Yeah. Let’s go, keep your guard up!” With a smirk, Joker adjusted his gloves and signalled the thieves to move out.
“Uhh, am I the only one here getting the feeling that this is a trap?” Duel asked, looking around at the entirely empty and unguarded throne room.
“Does that matter? We’ve got a treasure to steal!” Mona mewed, before excitedly bounding up the stairs behind the throne itself, which led to the room the treasure resided in.
Panther started chasing after the cat. “H-hold on, don’t go in alone!”
Duel shot a nervous look over in Joker’s direction, but he just shrugged in response before he chased after the others, quickly catching up to Mona and Panther with Skull trailing close behind.
The treasure room was almost the exact same as it was before the calling card, aside from one important change.
There, floating in the center of the room, was the treasure. It was no longer the hazy mass of nothing they’d seen a few days earlier, now taking the form of a huge golden crown. Adorned with intricately set heart-shaped gems near its base, a female symbol motif surrounding a red velvet center, all rising up to a decoration at the top that placed another heart on its own pedestal of gold.
...There was also a certain cat clinging onto the side of it, furiously nuzzling it.
Jesus, I can hear him purring from here!
“Mona, I don’t think that’s catnip…” Joker pointed out, fidgeting with his bangs.
Mona either ignored Joker or didn’t hear him, instead continuing to rub his face all over it.
Duel sighed. “C’mon, Mona. Are we getting this thing out of here, or did you just wanna break in to see it?” He tilted his head to one side, while lightly poking at the back of Mona’s huge head with the end of his whackin’ cane.
Mona froze, seemingly snapping out of a trance, before letting go of the crown and landing on the golden coins below.
“I… forgive me, I’m not sure what came over me there.” Mona said, straightening his neckerchief and utility belt. “Why’d I have to do that in front of a lady?! Stupid Mona, stupid!” He added under his breath, seemingly to himself.
“Umm, moving on…” Panther piped up, very ready to change the subject. “We just need to take this crown out, right? But it’s so big…”
Mona cleared his throat, and put on his authoritative (otherwise known as condescending) tone. “That’s right, you guys will need to carry it together.”
“What’s with the ‘you guys?’ Aren’t you gonna help too?” Skull asked, looking down at the cat.
“Can’t, I’m too small!” He mewed with a smug smile on his face.
“You dick…” Skull mumbled under his breath.
Christ, this thing weighs a lot.
Even with four people with their strength enhanced by their personas here in the Metaverse, the treasure was heavy. Getting down the first set of stairs back into the throne room was already an ordeal and a half, and that was before Skull went and opened his big mouth.
“Well, we gotta carry it the whole way out, but at least we didn’t hit any bullshit tr-”
“Skull, don’t f*cking jinx it!” Duel interrupted, but of course, Skull didn’t get the hint.
“Jinx what?! I was just gonna say it was cool that we didn’t get slapped with any traps!”
Dammit.
“Kamo-shida, he’s the man! If he can’t beat them, no one can~!”
At that very moment, a high-pitched and cutesy voice cheered from somewhere above them.
A look of realization dawned on Skull’s face just a little too late. “...Oh.”
Suddenly, the weight of the crown had been lifted from their arms, and it hit the floor with a CLANG. It took Duel a moment to figure out what had happened, but finally put it together when he caught sight of the volleyball lazily rolling away from where the crown had landed.
He knocked over something that heavy with one spike?!
In a blur of red and glowing yellow, Kamoshida’s shadow soared over their heads, pulling off an unnaturally long jump from the catwalk lining the walls of the throne room. He stuck the landing, and set down the giggling cognitive Ann he’d been carrying bridal-style.
“You’re not going anywhere with that crown.” The king sneered down at them from the top of the stairway that led to the treasure room.
He raised his arm, and the treasure jiggled a little on the floor in front of the thieves before suddenly being yanked off the ground by some invisible source that flung it in Kamoshida’s direction. Somehow, by the time Kamoshida caught it, it had become a completely normal size for a crown.
“Wait, we didn’t even need to team-lift it like that?!” Duel cried.
Kamoshida scoffed. “You’re making a pathetic attempt to steal this crown from me, and you’re worried about it being heavy? This crown proves that I’m the King of this world, you really thought I'd let you just walk out of here with it?!”
“I dunno, maybe?” He shrugged.
Panther smacked the back of his head. “Are we seriously going to ignore the girl standing right next to him?! That’s really how that son of a bitch sees me, isn’t it!”
“Ow… I mean, we were just as grossed out when we saw that the first time, if that helps.”
“What do you mean, ‘THE FIRST TIME???’”
“HEY! Quit your damn arguing!!!” Kamoshida suddenly roared at them, making the thieves turn their attention to him again.
“Listen well, cause I’m only saying this once. Since you’ve been such a pain in my royal ass lately, you’ve all got the honor of being executed by ME. Right here, right now.”
Skull stomped one foot. “Not if we kick your ass first, dipshit!”
“HA! I’d like to see you brats try! Makes it even more fun to finally punish you lesser beings!”
“Nobody is lesser than you.” Joker growled. “You abuse, manipulate, and blackmail people for your own personal gain!”
“Oh, come on. I earned the right to do that! I’m Kamo-motherfucking-shida, remember?! Everyone knows I’m a cut above the rest of humanity, that’s why I'm King!”
“Cut the shit, you ain’t above anybody!” Skull shouted. “All the shit you do, you’re no better than a goddamn monster!”
The king let out a low chuckle. Then it got louder, eventually coming a maniacal cackle. Dark red and black energy started forming at his feet, rising up to surround him like fire on a log.
“Finally, something you little shits get right… Yeah, I am a monster! A monster who rules this ENTIRE WORLD!!!”
Kamoshida’s voice, which sounded distorted enough as a normal shadow, began to warp even more, and it wasn’t long until his form joined in. As he continued to cackle, he grew larger. Horns sprouted from his head and formed a large curl around his now-pointy ears. His entire body turned a bright pink, and his tongue, which grew to impossible lengths even for something as big as he was becoming, turned purple. He clearly didn’t have room in his mouth for it, leaving his chin all gross and wet while the tongue itself lashed around wildly.
“I’m allowed to do whatever the hell I want, and right now, I want to kill you all! Enjoy the last moments of your pathetic excuse of a life, you thieving scum!”
“Sorry, but we don’t plan on losing to someone like you!” Duel taunted.
Letting out a warped scream of rage, Kamoshida stabbed downwards with a golden butter knife that appeared in his right hand.
“GO!” Joker commanded, and the thieves split up. Two groups took cover behind bust statues on opposite sides of the throne room, with Duel ending up where Joker and Mona were.
“Mona, what’s the plan here?!” Duel hissed, keeping quiet as Kamoshida started randomly smashing the statues that lined the area, not wanting to make that selection any less random by drawing any attention to themselves.
“Okay, I don’t think we have any choice but to fight him.” Mona said.
Joker’s eyes widened. “What about the mental shutdown thing?!”
“If we make sure not to kill his shadow, he should be fine! I think.”
“You think?!” Duel cried as quietly as he possibly could.
“You have any other ideas?! ‘Cause I’m all ears if you do!”
“The treasure’s on his head, you think there’s any way we can just steal it off him?” Joker wondered aloud.
“Wait, seriously?!” Duel asked, daring to peek around the statue to check.
Yep, there it was. It was back to the size it was when they’d tried to just carry it out of the throne room, to accommodate Kamoshida's larger monster head.
“Hrrm… if someone sneaks up to the terrace while everyone else draws his attention with attacks, that could work! Good thinking, Joker!”
Duel nodded in understanding. “Okay, I’m on it!”
“W-wait, Duel, are you sure you’re the best man for-” Mona started, but Duel was already making his move before he could catch the rest of it.
He quickly made a mad dash for the statue Skull and Panther were hiding behind, gave them the quickest summary of the plan he could put together, and started thinking about his route as the other two joined Joker and Mona in keeping Kamoshida occupied.
Okay, there was part of the terrace railing that had been taken out as collateral damage while Kamoshida had been smashing statues trying to find the ones used as cover, with some rubble conveniently piled up to make getting up there easier, but it was way too easily spotted in Kamoshida’s current position to really work. Duel thought he was gonna need to figure out another route, but to his surprise, Skull had apparently noticed him and reacted by doing something smart.
“Hey, ya stinky pervert! Over here!” He shouted from the opposite side of the throne room, bringing out his shotgun and unloading it into the monster’s chest.
“Hey, nobody touches my perfect abs!” it screamed, materializing a whip in its other hand and cracking it in Skull’s direction. Duel didn’t waste another second, and took the opening.
Okay, I have to do this fast!
As he reminded himself of that fact, the light feeling Duel remembered from the frankly terrifying jumps along the castle wall returned to him. He still wasn’t expecting it, but after all the times he had felt that last time, it didn’t disorient him either. After a mere split second, he kneeled on the pile of rubble below the railing.
Skull was still keeping Kamoshida on him, pretty effectively based on what Duel could hear (mostly raspberries and name-calling, but it was working to piss Kamoshida off), but he couldn’t afford to dawdle, either. With some split-second decision making, Duel kept going.
Weird super-speed thing, get me up there!
He thought as hard as he could while also beginning his jump. As he started to push himself off, the piece of debris he stood on shifted. Duel faltered a little, but still managed to get pretty high into the air… but not high enough.
Duel’s stomach sank.
Sh*t!!!
In a move he couldn’t even have expected from himself, and in a way that felt more like instinct than mere reflexes, Duel hooked his cane to the floor of the terrace above him. His arms made a motion like they were whacking something, but they instead allowed Duel to use leverage to flip himself up and onto the terrace in one smooth motion.
He landed on his ass hard, but he couldn’t leave himself out in the open, either. He quickly took cover behind a thicker part of the railing that was still intact, with the bonus of some potted plants on either side of the post.
After a deep breath, he poked his head above the railing to plan out his next move.
Okay, that thing’s heavy as hell, I don’t think just throwing myself over there’s gonna cut it. I need to jump with more momentum than that… wait.
Oh yeah, now that was a plan. Duel brought out the model RPG, which he could now put away and summon with a burst of blue flame just like his cane (he didn’t know how, but he didn’t exactly care either) and got himself up on the thick post of the railing. Its wide and flat top easily supported him, and he needed a little elevation to pull this off.
“H-hey, weren’t there five of you before?! Where’s the guy in the ugly pinstripe suit???” Kamoshida suddenly shouted.
Ugly?!
“Right up here!” Duel called over his shoulder with a grin, facing the wall closest to him and pointing the RPG right where it met the terrace floor.
Before Kamoshida could be given any time to react, Duel squeezed the trigger. After a very quick hiss, he was blown backwards by the shock of the explosion, slamming his back straight into the crown with enough force to knock it right off Kamoshida’s head.
Okay, maybe blowing a rocket up right in my own face wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had.
That’s what Duel was thinking as he flew through the air. He definitely hadn’t thought this through, made perfectly clear by the ringing in his ears and the waves of pain coursing through him. His vision was fading hard, but if the new pain slamming into his back meant anything, he’d just hit the throne room floor.
Duel was going to black out any moment. He made a note to himself to not attempt to do a rocket jump with his squishy human body again, if he could at all avoid it...
Even the blue border looks kinda faded after that…
There was a flash of minty green. The border snapped back to its normal bright blue.
Another green flash. Suddenly not on the verge of passing out anymore, Duel’s vision and hearing slowly came back to him.
“...Don’t you fucking dare die on me, Scott! Don’t you-”
“Joker…?” Duel mumbled as his vision returned fully, revealing the leader of the team on the verge of tears above him.
Joker’s eyes widened upon Duel’s aliveness being confirmed, and he suddenly let out a huge sigh of relief.
Turning his head hurt like a bitch, but Duel had to check if Kamoshida was getting ready to murder them for real. Instead, the demon-ified shadow simply stared at the ground, utterly depressed about his treasure getting separated from him, allowing for Mona, Skull, and Panther to keep kicking the sh*t out of him. While they did that, Joker focused on healing Duel, presumably with the Pixie persona he’d gained earlier that now flitted about above his head.
“Okay, just to be safe.” Joker muttered, and snapped his fingers. Another flash of green light surrounded his vision, and the majority of the pain he was still feeling lifted off of him like a weight off his shoulders.
“Uh… thanks.”
Joker stood up before helping Duel get up from his position leaning against one of the still-intact statues, handing back the hat that had been blown off his head.
“GRAAAAAHHH!!!” Shadow Kamoshida suddenly cried as the other three paused their assault. He collapsed forward, which Skull narrowly dodged, and began to shrank. His horns vanished back into his skull, his bright pink skin became a natural tone again, and his huge tongue finally returned to a manageable size for the human mouth.
The treasure on the floor suddenly shrank at the same time, which Joker started to make a move for, but his position from retreating to heal Duel was far enough away for Kamoshida to be able to snap back into action and snatch it first.
He got back on his feet, seeming to try to make a run for the door before realizing his path in that direction was well and truly blocked by the thieves. Instead, he made a dash for the window, seeming to let the fact that a window isn’t a real exit slip his mind. He skidded to a stop, and started frantically pacing around the tiny balcony the window actually did have.
“Give it up.” Joker plainly stated, approaching Kamoshida.
Skull was right by his side. “Yeah, there’s nowhere to run, even for a hotshot athlete like you.” He growled.
“I… I’m just getting rewarded for all my work! You see how I’m always getting hounded by Shujin for good results, and even before that…” Kamoshida spluttered.
“We don’t want your bullsh*t excuses!” Duel spat.
Panther stepped forward. “You know, you’re seeing the exact same view you forced Shiho into with your actions. She felt cornered, like the only thing she could do was jump… is that what you’re going to do?” She was clearly trying to sound calm, but her voice trembled ever so slightly, especially at the mention of Suzui.
Ann…?
Duel looked over at her, and saw her expression.
The only light in her eyes were the fires of pure unbridled rage.
Kamoshida didn’t say anything.
“WELL?!” Panther screamed, using Carmen to lob a fireball in his direction. It narrowly missed him, but it was clear that this was on purpose. “You forced so many of your victims to suffer in silence, you have no RIGHT to do the same here!”
“N-no! You’re right, I’ve lost, j-just forgive me! Please!” He said quickly, and tossed the crown in Joker’s direction. He easily caught it.
“Now just… just finish me off, and the real one goes down with me. It’s your right. You’ve won, after all.”
Kamoshida hung his head, looking even more pathetic than usual.
For a moment, Panther said nothing. She was thinking it over.
It was only a second, but it felt like the silence had been hanging there much longer before she gave him an answer.
“...No. If I kill you here, you’ll never be able to confess your crimes.”
Kamoshida’s head hung even lower, and he started to sob.
“But… I’ve lost! What am I supposed to do after that, I’m… what’s a loser like me supposed to do with his life…?” He whimpered.
“You atone for what you’ve done.” Joker said, his words quiet yet stern.
Kamoshida froze, his sobs suddenly stopping. Slowly, he picked his head up, looking at each of the thieves. And then he smiled.
A real, warm, and genuine smile.
Not the sick and twisted smile they’d always seen from him before.
“You’re right. I’ll return to my real self.”
The shadow began to emit a soft glow, accompanied by tiny beads of light that twinkled like a firefly at night.
“This time… I’ll get it right. This ti-”
And just like that, shadow Kamoshida vanished.
Panther turned back to the rest of the group. “Did we- did we do it?”
Instead of anyone replying to her, that question was answered by the castle floor under their feet beginning to shake.
“We can talk later! This place is collapsing right now!!!” Mona yowled, making a break for the exit from the throne room.
“Dammit Mona, wait the hell up!” Ryuji called after the fleeing cat, as he and the rest of the phantom thieves started to get the hell out of there.
There was a moment of stunned silence between the four as the castle shook, watching as the humanoid cat ran off out the door. and in that moment, all four of them screamed as they shortly followed.
"DAMN CAT, YOU DIDN'T THINK OF TELLING US THIS UNTIL NOW?!" Ryuji screamed, trudging along from the back. attempting to catch up at a reasonable pace.
"Oh god we're going to die, we're going to die, we're going to die!" Ann kept repeating as she kept running just behind Ren.
"Hell no!" Scott shouted from a few paces behind, "We just need to get the f*ck out of here, that's it!"
"Less talking… more... running!" Ren said between breaths. His eyes glued on the hallway ahead, they had to get to an exit eventually.
"Wait, what about that elevator?!" Scott shouted, struggling to make himself loud enough over the palace that was literally falling apart around him.
"It’s worth a shot!"
Running ahead of Morgana, Scott used his keen gamer senses of direction to get to the door in the central tower, which led to an elevator that went directly down to the entrance hall. Not pausing to open the door that was conveniently already shaken off its hinges, the others followed him in just in time to see the pulley system that held the elevator in place collapse with the section of ceiling above it.
He started to skid to a stop. "Sh*t, elevator's out, abort, abort!!!" Cried Scott, turning tail and going the other direction before the rest of that area decided to peace out too.
"Of course that didn't work, what did you think makes that elevator move?! Palaces don't have a backup generator!" Morgana yowled from behind them, as he started to catch up to the ones with longer legs.
Scott's hat suddenly got shoved down into his face by something on top of him. "Gah!"
Morgana gave him a smug meow from ahead of him.
Wait, ahead?!
Getting the huge boater brim out of his vision revealed Morgana, now in his normal-ass cat form, perched on top of Ren’s shoulder getting a free ride.
This goddamn cat...
Everyone kept on running as the path began to collapse in front of them, forcing them to quickly dodge and weave the rubble as best as they could. Scott took a quick cursory glance behind him, noticing that he was just faster than Ryuji who kept glancing at his knee. He didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to know what was going to happen next. Whipping out his cane, he leaned back and stretched the handle part back.
“Oh, no you don't! Grab on!!” he said between breaths. Ryuji seemingly snapped out of it, and just as he grabbed the handle of the cane, he dragged it in front of him, taking Ryuji along with it and causing him to slam into his back. The two stumbled for a bit before regaining their balance and running ahead, just as a blinding light surrounded the group.
Notes:
Shoutout to Archive of Our Own user TheCommonCold for predicting the rocket jump all the way back in chapter 5 👀
(I'd actually just written this chapter when they commented that, it was wild)And that's the Kamoshida boss fight!!! The arc isn't quite over yet, but damn it's wild how close we are?? Hope you enjoyed the extra-long chapter this week, the next one's on the shorter side but it'll be a fun one, so I'll see you all then! :)
Chapter 17: We’re Gonna Make History, And to a Lesser Extent, Food!
Notes:
I'm hitting you all with a surprise bonus update, since I had something super cool to share and didn't want to wait till next week to plug it!
EDIT: Link died :(The Kamoshida arc isn't quite over even though his treasure's been stolen, so take some comic relief before it closes out! :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The fatigue of being in the Metaverse (and possibly almost f*cking dying in there) hit Scott like a frying pan as soon as they had made it out.
“God, that hurt my skin and body so much…” He mumbled, leaning against the wall of the alley they’d entered from.
“Man, I hear that…” Ryuji groaned between pants.
Ann, who had apparently been checking her phone (Scott was too exhausted to really be paying attention) turned her screen around.
“Guys, look at this! The castle’s search history entry on the Nav changed!”
“Wait, seriously?” Ryuji’s eyebrows flew up. “Lemme see!”
Ren leaned in for a closer look as well. “Destination deleted. Interesting phrasing there.”
Scott nodded sagely. “Well, the place was deleted, I’ll give them that.”
“Would have been nice if we had planned an escape route for that, by the way!” Ryuji complained, glaring at Morgana.
“Hey! This was my first heist too, remember?” The cat shot back. “More importantly, where’s the treasure?!”
“It’s right here.” Ren said, taking a gold medal out of his pocket and holding it up with a grin.
Ryuji squinted. “Huh? Why’s it a medal now?”
“This is the source of Kamoshida’s desires in the real world. To him, this medal was a symbol that gave him the authority to do anything he wanted, just like a king's crown." Morgana explained.
Ann nodded. “Clinging onto his past glory, that makes sense. So, this means his heart’s been changed, right?”
“It should, yes.”
“Should? We’re gonna get expelled if this doesn't work, remember?!” Cried Ryuji.
“Like I said, my first heist too! But considering how his shadow was acting right at the end, I’d say that more likely than not, we succeeded.”
“Is there any way to check?” Ren asked, tilting his head a bit.
“Unfortunately, no. We’ll need to be patient, but that doesn’t change the fact that this operation was a great success! C’mon, cheer up!”
“Easy for the cat that isn’t getting expelled to say…” Mumbled Scott.
Ren sighed. “Well, if all we can do is wait, we should be using that time to rest. I’m sure you all feel just as exhausted as I do now.”
“Yeah, you’re right…” Ryuji yawned. “I’m gonna head out, do the train before I get so tired I fall asleep on the way home.”
“Same here, but keep in touch, okay?” Ann said with a smile.
After saying their goodbyes (from Ren and Morgana) and their general mumbled noises of acknowledgement (from Scott), the only ones left in the alley were Ren, Morgana, and Scott.
“Morgana, could you give us a sec?” Ren asked, looking down at the cat that was in the middle of licking his paw.
“Sure, I’ll walk around a bit.” Mewed Morgana, who stood up and stretched before strolling off to who-knows-where.
Scott looked at Ren. “We’re not going back yet?”
Ren simply flicked Scott’s forehead in reply.
“Oww! What did I do this time?!”
“Seriously? What the hell were you thinking, launching yourself like that?! You could have died!!!”
“I wasn’t really thinking much, really. And I’m fine now, right?”
Ren chuckled despite himself. “Yeah, you really weren’t, huh? Still…” his expression hardened again. “Our personas may get healing abilities, but I doubt those will work on a corpse. Don’t… don’t do anything stupid like that again, okay?”
“Alright, Jesus… we’re done with Kamoshida anyways, I don’t think there’s gonna be an ‘again' to f*ck up.”
“Something tells me you don’t need any superpowers to be tempted to do something incredibly stupid without thinking it through.”
Scott laughed. “Yeah, guilty as charged. Now can we go already? Pretty sure my legs are gonna give out any second now.”
“Yeah. Hope Morgana didn’t wander off too far…”
“While we look, you wanna hear about another time I did some stupid sh*t that almost got me killed?”
Ren looked alarmed. “Another time?!”
“Yeah! It all started when Nintendo announced you couldn’t buy Wii Shop Channel points anymore…”
--4/27-DAYS UNTIL EXPULSION:5--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
“We’ll need to be patient,” Morgana had told them.
Kamoshida was on ‘sick leave’ right now, but if his game mechanic instincts were correct, he’d be back up and confessing his sh*t on the deadline of May 2nd. Which was still almost a week away.
Plus, I’m waiting in real time…
Actually, now that Scott thought about it, he could go back to searching for ways to break out of Persona 5 now that he was done with all the Kamoshida stuff. Well, he could do that, but… he could witness that confession in the flesh if he waited.
In the digital flesh? In the code? I actually have no idea…
...Scott decided he could think about that later.
For right now, he was faced with something he had very little experience in.
Employment.
Sojiro had decided to call Ren after school let out that day, telling him that he was going to use the slow day at the cafe as an opportunity to start putting Scott to work. Ren was already learning the ropes of coffee, which left Scott on curry duty.
"Okay, first off, finely dice both of these onions." Sojiro told him.
He'd insisted on walking Scott through the recipe the first time, so he could make sure it was made right.
Scott rolled up his sleeves. "Okay, that's easy enough, where's the saw?"
"The… huh? Is this your idea of a joke?"
"What? No, what do you cut onions with around here?"
Sojiro looked at him.
"...Look, I don’t care if it takes months to teach you how to make decent curry, I'm not going to let you worm your way out of earning your keep around here just because you aren't an experienced cook."
Scott looked up at his curry mentor. "Hey, I don’t know what made you think I'm trying to do that, but I'll have you know I have earned one entire stamp from the DS Chef himself in Personal Trainer: Cooking! I can do this!"
Sojiro almost looked impressed at Scott's resolve, but still hesitated before saying anything else. "...Alright. Let's see what you’ve got, kid."
Scott’s ears were still ringing.
There was half-made curry everywhere. It stuck to the walls, the fridge, even the ceiling in some spots.
It all happened so fast... he wasn’t sure what caused it, but the resulting curry explosion left student and teacher alike in a state of complete shock… at least from what he could tell through his mostly-covered glasses. And Sojiro’s mostly-covered glasses.
There was one thing Scott was one-hundred percent sure of, even in a situation like this.
The color of the walls in the Leblanc kitchen that were in range of this incident would never be the same again.
"...Maybe I could just stick you with all the cleaning work around here." Sojiro finally managed.
Thank f*ck Ren offered to help Scott clean up. Leblanc closed early that day, and Sojiro stepped out mumbling something about needing a smoke, meaning Scott would have had to deal with the fallout alone otherwise.
Things were mostly quiet at first, with an occasional word or two being exchanged as they maneuvered around each other in the tiny kitchen. It was pretty goddamn tense until Ren finally broke the silence.
"Hey, Sojiro may talk a big game about kicking us out if we cause any trouble, but… something tells me there's no way he'd ever actually do it. So don't freak out about that."
"Yeah, I figured. But thanks."
I mean, there's no way he ever kicks out Ren when normal people play.
Jesus, that would be bad if it turned out he could, actually…
"Okay, good."
Another awkward silence. Ren was the one who broke it this time as well.
"I was probably kinda harsh on you the other day about the whole 'almost getting yourself killed' thing, but you were seriously a great teammate the rest of the time."
"You think so?" Scott asked, looking up from his especially stubborn glob he was trying to get up to see Ren’s smile.
He chuckled. "Well yeah, you figured out some of the mechanisms in there so fast it even impressed Morgana. You act like it was no big deal, but I don't know if we could have pulled it off without you."
"You could." Scott stated matter-of-factly.
It is a fact, I wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place.
"See, this is what I'm talking about. Give yourself more credit, Scott. I’m sure Ann and Ryuji feel the same way."
There's no point in arguing about it, is there?
"Okay, okay! You're right, I was a puzzle-solving shadow-smacking machine in there!" Scott allowed himself to brag a little.
"Man, you really turned that around on a dime, huh? But seriously, that’s more like it."
Scott scrubbed in silence for a moment.
"...Thanks." He finally got out.
Getting stuck here blows, but…
I guess I could think of worse protagonists out there to get trapped in a game with.
--5/1-DAYS UNTIL EXPULSION:1--
-EVENING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] guuuuhhhhh im so goddamn nervous!!!
[Ryuji] the board meeting or whatever is tomorrow and we STILL havent seen kamoshida like at all
[Ren] We’ve done all we can, no use freaking out about it now.
[Ryuji] i know its just
[Ryuji] even though hes probably not an asshole anymore hes still being a dick by making us wait on him this whole time >:(
[Ann] yeah, i’ve been really antsy lately…
[Ann] but i agree, you shouldn't give up yet!
[Ann] even though that doesn’t make the wait any less crappy :(
[Scott] Oh, i know it worked
[Ryuji] wait seriously??? Did you see kamoshida???
[Scott] What? No, i just know theres no way it didnt work
[Ren] You’re sure?
[Scott] Yeah!
[Scott] Call it… Intuition
[Ryuji] dude i appreciate the effort but
[Ryuji] intuition isnt gonna make me any less nervous
[Ryuji] actually, i think im kinda more nervous now…
[Ren] Ryuji, you better not be panicking over there.
[Ren] Think of it this way, if you calm yourself down and sleep well tonight, you won't be half asleep to see Kamoshida confess his sins, hehe… :)
[Ryuji] yeah, thats true…
[Ann] maybe we should talk abt something else for tonight? like you said, no use in stressing abt it rn!
[Ren] Good idea.
[Ryuji] oh yeah!!!
[Ryuji] i was wonderin, what should we do with the medal??
[Scott] You guys didnt sell it yet?
[Scott] Its dungeon loot. What else are you gonna do with it, use it as a coaster??
[Ren] Yeah, I agree with Scott.
[Ryuji] lmao great minds think alike
[Ryuji] i was actually checkin listings of this stuff online earlier
[Ryuji] we could probably get like, 30k for this bad boy?
[Ann] for an olympic gold medal, that’s a bit of a letdown…
[Scott] Youre kidding, right?? I dont even get that kinda money from evading taxes!!!
[Ann] ?????
[Ren] Wait. Scott, are you thinking of US dollars?
[Ren] Because I'm pretty sure Ryuji's referring to yen here.
[Scott] ...Ah.
[Scott] Okay i still dont know sh*t about this economy, but i am Pretty Sure that blows.
[Ann] OH that makes way more sense! yeah, remember to chop off two zeroes, Scott! rough, but it works as an estimate :)
[Ann] actually, hold on. won’t Kamoshida realize he’s missing this thing? if he hasn’t already
[Ren] Morgana says it’s a clone of the original medal.
[Ren] I’m not fully getting his explanation, but that’s the gist of it.
[Ann] oh! wow that’s convenient :0
[Ryuji] if we are gonna sell it though we should probably do it asap
[Ryuji] it looks just like the real medal right? So walking around with it when kamoshida is known to fuckin hate us doesnt sound very smart
[Scott] Does that mean you’re gonna start carrying it around, ryuji?
[Ryuji] shaddap!!!
[Ryuji] you and morgana are always picking on me! >:(
[Ren] Scott, be nice to Ryuji.
[Scott] Jesus, are you my babysitter now or something??
[Ren] If I have to be, yes.
[Scott] Fiiiiine
[Scott] Ill go easy on ryuji. Mostly.
[Ryuji] good enough for now i guess…
[Ann] lmao
[Ann] seriously though! what are we gonna do with 30k yen?
[Scott] That’s like… 300 america dubloons, right?
[Ryuji] how tf are we supposed to know, youre the american here
[Ren] It is a lot of money, expectations aside…
[Ren] Morgana suggests a fancy dinner, to celebrate our success.
[Ryuji] ooooooh!!!
[Ryuji] i like the sound of that! Plus wed be getting rid of this dirty money fast >:)
[Ann] Ryuji, you sound like one of those heist movie characters lol
[Scott] Well yeah, this was a heist...
[Ren] Ann, Ryuji, do either of you have suggestions? Me and Scott still don’t know the area too well.
[Scott] Hey, speak for yourself!
[Ren] ?
[Scott] I dont know this area at all!
[Ann] lmaooo
[Ryuji] i dont have any ideas, swanky shit aint really my usual style
[Ann] i think i know a place?? me and Shiho were going to go there but we didnt really have the cash…
[Ann] and i would hate to make her think she kept me from going, so…
[Ann] i’ll just need to eat double the fancy food in her stead! :D
[Ryuji] hell yeah!!!!!
[Ren] Okay, let’s get the details hammered out after I actually sell this thing.
[Ren] I think I know a place that’ll take it, too…
[Ren] Scott’s the one who’s handled stuff there before now, so we should probably go together.
[Scott] Should be fine
[Scott] This guy will take f*cking Anything, ive brought in banged up helmets and shields, entire sets of silverware, a few of those gross nude candlesticks
[Scott] Sometimes hell bat an eye at the weirder or fancier sh*t but he still takes it! No clue why, maybe hes a secret model gun blacksmith and melts the stuff down for material
[Ryuji] ...jesus christ dude
[Ann] when did you pick up all that stuff???
[Scott] Eh, picked up whatever looked shiny as we went through rooms and halls and sh*t, yknow how it is
[Ryuji] no??? We dont???????
[Ren] I mean, we are thieves…
[Ren] But we’re getting sidetracked here.
[Ren] When we have a chance after school, let’s meet on the roof and hammer out the date and such.
[Ann] yeah!! hopefully it’ll be a real celebration when everything else is said and done :)
[Ryuji] annnnnn whyd you have to bring that up!!!!!!!!
[Ann] ah, sorry Ryuji!!!
Notes:
Fairly short, but perfect for a bonus update after a really long chapter! :)
See you next week, for real this time hehe
Chapter 18: Change of Heart
Notes:
TW: Mentions of all the bullshit Kamoshida's done. (Physical abuse, sexual harassment and abuse, and pedophilia.) Man, fuck that guy.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/2-DAYS UNTIL EXPULSION:0--
-MORNING-
“What’s with this assembly? I didn’t miss the notice for it, did I?”
“No, this is definitely unscheduled… anyone know what it’s about?”
“Uh… maybe it’s addressing the calling card thing somebody put up a week ago? I mean, Mr. Kamoshida hasn’t been here since…”
“No, that’s gotta be a coincidence. He probably just got sick with something, my money’s on this being about the girl that tried to kill herself.”
“They’d hold an assembly for that? ‘Don’t kill yourself’ isn’t something you need to have a whole speech for…”
Scott stood with Ren and Ryuji, off to the side of the gym where the sudden morning assembly was being held. Yet again, people weren’t even trying to hide their gossip. Even at their spots leaning against the wall, it could be heard loud and clear.
Wait, where’s Ann?
He scanned the crowd, and it didn’t take long to spot her big blonde pigtails in a sea of brown and black. She was shifting nervously, looking down as she fidgeted with one of the strings on her hoodie.
She’s worried about us, plus she’s dealing with all the people sh*t talking her best friend…
Scott let out a deep breath.
Hang in there.
Finally, Principal Kobayakawa of Shujin Academy approached the mic on the podium that sat on the raised section of the gym. He tapped it a couple times, followed by cupping his hand around it when a shriek of feedback made the entire room wince.
He cleared his throat. “Alright, let’s begin this school-wide morning assembly. A tragic event took place here very recently, as I’m sure you all know. We have been informed that the student in question is thankfully in stable condition, but it will take a long time for her to recover fully.”
Kobayakawa jumped a little as a door slammed somewhere in the practice building, apparently loud enough to be heard in the gym. After wiping his very bald and very wet forehead with a cloth, he managed to continue.
“E-each and every one of you has a bright future following the path of adulthood ahead of you, and I humbly request that you each take some time in the near future to truly think about the importance of the gift of life-”
The right-side door of the gym burst open, and the one who came through it was none other than Suguru Kamoshida.
He looked like he had suddenly decided to sprint all the way here, as he was gasping for air with his hands on his knees. He stood like that for a moment, trembling violently the whole time, before he finally straightened himself up.
“Mr. Kamoshida, what are you do-” Principal Kobayakawa started to splutter, but he was interrupted.
“I have been reborn.” He spoke in a low and subdued tone, but it was loud enough to make his words be heard through the entire gym.
Sounded like it was loud enough for the entire crowd to hear on purpose.
“That is-” Kamoshida gulped. “That’s why I’m here today to confess everything I’ve done. To all of you.”
Principal Kobayakawa stood in shocked silence as Kamoshida quietly took a position on the stage section, in front of the podium.
“I have willingly and repeatedly done things that no teacher should even think of… no, what no human should even think of doing. I’ve verbally and physically abused my students and my team, and I… I have sexually harassed female students of this school.”
He let out a sob.
“I am the reason why Shiho Suzui attempted suicide!” He cried out, falling to his knees and starting to weep.
“I thought of myself as a king, and Shujin Academy as my castle to rule! I sentenced three students to expulsion for reasons of personal opinion and nothing more, and I am officially retracting that, but… That doesn’t forgive anything I’ve done to innocents and minors! It doesn’t forgive me for being the monster I am, a hateful and arrogant piece of scum…”
Kamoshida’s palms and forehead hit the stage floor, like he was begging for forgiveness, but…
He clearly didn’t want to be forgiven. He knew he didn’t deserve it.
“Now that I've come to my senses and have made sure the knowledge of my actions won't go with me... I am going to take responsibility for what I’ve done… and kill myself.”
He sounded… pathetic.
The whispers around the gym all buzzed to life in that one moment. Other teachers tried to make excuses, saying he was still sick, but nobody paid any attention.
The principal ran behind Kamoshida from his spot at the podium. “P-please, Kamoshida, get off the stage! You…”
One voice suddenly cut through the sea of murmurs in the crowd.
“You’re just going to RUN?!” Ann shouted.
Everyone froze. Students, teachers, Kobayakawa and even Kamoshida himself…
All eyes were on Ann.
“Even after everything that made Shiho want to die… she’s still alive! Do you seriously think you can just RUN from ANY of this?!”
“You’re right… you’re absolutely goddamn right.” Kamoshida growled, slowly lifting his head from the floor.
“I need to be punished under the law, for every single one of the crimes I’ve committed. I can’t just run, like Takamaki-san said… I’ve done horrible things to her, too. I put Suzui-san on the team, and I tried to make her repay me with… I tried to make her sleep with me.”
The chatter started again, even louder this time. It only quieted down slightly when Kamoshida kept speaking.
“I am a disgrace to instructors and teachers everywhere... I will be resigning, effective immediately, and I will be turning myself in to the authorities.”
He looked out at the crowd in desperation.
“Somebody, I’m begging you, please call the police on me!”
Holy sh*t…
Everybody was kicked out of the gym as soon as the teachers could get their sh*t together, but Scott, Ren, Ryuji, and Ann were lagging behind in the hallway.
How the f*ck is anyone supposed to go back to class after that?
Ann stood, still looking in the direction of the gym, with wide eyes.
“He… we actually changed his heart…?”
Scott smirked. “I told you guys he’d do that today! Sh*t, that was incredible, I can’t believe I just saw that happen with my own two eyes!”
Everyone else was silent.
“C’mon, why am I the only one celebrating this?”
“...Was this really the right thing to do?” Ryuji muttered, not looking up from the floor.
Ren fidgeted with his bag strap. “I… It was. Of course it was.”
Scott threw his hands in the air. “Seriously, have you guys gone f*cking nuts?! What, out of all the sh*t we just saw, ended badly?!”
“I mean, nothing, but… I dunno, maybe it’s happenin’ so fast, or maybe it’s something else, but I just don’t feel right.” Ryuji sighed.
“Hey, there you are!”
Before Scott could respond to Ryuji, a familiar face ran up to them.
“Mishima? What is it?” Ren asked.
The kid still had plenty of bruises, but they looked like they were getting lighter. Even after just a week of Kamoshida being unable to hold volleyball “practice,” he looked completely different, in a weird sort of way. He was starting to stand up straighter, there was a light in his eyes that was totally missing before, he just looked… alive.
Mishima did a deep bow in Ann’s direction.
“Takamaki-san, I’m so sorry!”
Ann blinked. “I… huh?”
“We all stayed quiet about Kamoshida’s actions. And even on the day he… I-I had a hunch that whatever he wanted Suzui-san in his office for was worse than usual, and I still-”
“Stop.” Ann cut him off. Mishima flinched, looking terrified.
“There’s no use in blaming yourself." She said, now in a softer tone, after seeing a reaction she knew all too well by now. "Like you said, it was Kamoshida’s actions, and it’s all in the past anyways.”
His still-healing face softened, looking like he was going to start crying tears of joy any second, but he quickly shook his head and turned to Ren and Scott.
“Amamiya-san, Wozniak-san… I did something terrible to you too, leaking your criminal records like that.”
Ren looked right at him. “Kamoshida made you do that. Like Ann said, the fault falls entirely on him.”
“I know that, but… I’m going to make it up to you. All of you. I promise.” His eyes were shining with a sense of responsibility, gratitude, and probably a few tears.
“Come on, you really don’t have to-” Scott started, but was rudely interrupted by a teacher that spotted them as he passed one of the hallway intersections ahead.
“What are you still doing out here?! Everybody, get back to your classrooms at once!”
“Ah, shit!” Ryuji’s eyes widened.
Ren adjusted his glasses. “Come on. We should go before we get into trouble again.”
-AFTER SCHOOL-
"Yo! I got us some celebratin' soda, even though the real party's still happening later." Ryuji called from the door to the school's roof, with an armful of soda cans. He placed a can of Fountain Dew on the table where Scott sat down.
Still weird that it's not Mountain Dew here, but it does taste the same, at least…
"I even remembered the kinds you got at the train station earlier! Man, that feels like forever ago already, huh? All the way back when we got… hey, where's Ann?" He interrupted himself mid-sentence, realizing he didn't have a spot to set down the can of Dr. Salt NEO.
"She went to visit Shiho. I don’t think it's supposed to be a long visit, so I'm guessing she'll be back soon." Ren responded, opening his soda.
Ryuji took one of the empty chairs and crossed one leg over the other knee. "Yeah! I bet she's excited to tell Suzui that Kamoshida fessed up, huh?"
"We really did that, huh…?" Ren muttered, looking up at the sky that was starting to turn pink.
Scott cracked open his cold soda and motioned it to the other boys. "Yeah, and he's not some braindead zombie, either! I still don't get the hesitation you guys were having earlier."
"Okay, okay, it was the right thing to do. And I mean, once I thought about it… we had a way to stop the shit he was doin', it probably would be way more wrong if we just… didn't do anything, y'know?" Admitted Ryuji.
Scott grinned. "Exactly! Now you get it!"
Morgana poked his head out of Ren's bag, yawning. "Oh, your school's done already…?"
Ren chuckled. "Yeah, it has been for a while now."
"About time." Morgana grumbled, hopping out of the bag and stretching his long kitty body. "I bet if we simply repeat that process, fighting a shadow till it wears itself out without killing it, and then convincing it to return to the real self… that's a guaranteed safe change of heart."
"Repeat?" Ren asked, tilting his head a little. "We finished our mission."
"Perhaps, but you still haven't helped me with mine, remember?"
There was a beat of silence.
"Did you seriously forget about that?!" Morgana yowled at them.
Ryuji looked away. "Uh…"
"Yeah, I definitely remember something a little like that…" Ren lied.
"Oh yeah, we did say something like that, didn't we?" Scott mused.
Morgana hissed. "You assholes!"
"Hey, guys!" Came Ann's cheery voice, along with the creak of the rooftop door.
"Ann! I got ya some Dr. Salt for post-heart stealin' pre-buffet celebrating!" Ryuji called with a wave as she approached.
"Not so loud, idiot!" Ann hissed, in the universal 'not so loud, idiot' tone. She broke into a huge grin a second later though, so her good mood wasn't going to get soured that easily.
"But seriously, thanks a bunch for the soda! Isn't this the same one you got me right after I joined you guys? You remembered!"
"Ann, you’re bouncing like a little kid. Are you going to tell us what you're so excited about?" Ren asked, starting to grin a little himself.
Her eyes glittered. "Shiho regained consciousness for a bit!"
"For real?!" Ryuji cried, surprised but clearly excited.
"Yeah! I even got to tell her that Kamoshida confessed to everything! And she… ah jeez…" Ann was starting to choke up with tears of joy.
"She apologized to me, I guess she found out about his 'deal' with me somehow… and I was just about to apologize to her when she said it!"
"Hey, like you said earlier, this was all Kamoshida’s fault. Stop blaming yourself already!" Scott wasn’t trying to show it, but he was f*cking overjoyed to hear Suzui was alright.
Look at me, getting all emotional about an NPC…
I mean, I know I'm supposed to feel that 'cause she's well written, but still!
"I'm so glad to hear it, Lady Ann." Morgana mewed happily.
"So, is she coming back here? I can't imagine it'd be a great school to get back to, with all the gossip and the… well…" Ryuji trailed off, but he didn't need to finish that sentence anyways.
Ann shook her head. "No, her mom's already looking into transferring her to another school. While she was awake, it sounded like Shiho thought that would be best, too."
"Can’t blame her. That's one less decent f*cking person around here, though…" Scott sighed. "This school’s got a real shortage of those."
"But she's okay. You'll still be able to see her anytime from here on out, as well." Ren said warmly.
Ann's smile reappeared on her face, and she wiped her eyes. "Yeah… that's the important thing here."
Ryuji did a fist pump into the air above him. "Hell yeah! Man, I am glad we didn't kill the guy, though. I'm kinda surprised you could hold back at that last part, I dunno if I coulda done that…"
Morgana swooned. "Right! You're so kind, Lady Ann…"
"Huh? It wasn’t about holding back, though."
Ren furrowed his brow. "Then… what was it about?"
"Well, if he confesses everything himself, he's gonna spend the rest of his life with that on his shoulders, y'know? Grovelling for forgiveness for all that time, atoning for his crimes that he knows can never really be really atoned for? I mean, that's why I told him not to kill himself earlier today, if it's over that fast it's not nearly painful enough for him."
Ren stiffened, and everyone else just stared at her with their jaws dropped.
"It’s sorta worse than death, if you think about it!"
She ended the explanation with a warm grin, but the words behind it were ice-cold.
"Holy sh*t…" Scott managed.
Ryuji just nodded in agreement, jaw still on the floor.
Ren nervously changed the subject. "H-hey Morgana, I was wondering something. Why was Kamoshida the only one with a palace like that?"
Morgana was obviously grateful for the shift in tone. "O-oh, well… the simple answer is, he isn't."
"Wait, he’s not?" Ryuji asked.
"Well, yeah. Kamoshida wasn't the only one out there with distorted desires like that. Why, you interested?"
Ren shook his head. "Not right now. He's still fresh on people's minds, it'd be risky."
That wasn’t a yes or a no, was it…
Ryuji shrugged. "I mean, it's not like anyone's gonna be able to figure out it's us."
Ann winced. "Yeah, uh… people are already starting rumors that you guys ganged up on Kamoshida to make him confess. So, maybe don't assume that."
"Wait, seriously? Have they seen us?!" Scott motioned at his lanky build.
"I dunno, I guess they just thought Kamoshida couldn't take 3 guys in a fight, even if they were you. It's not like they were gonna buy the Phantom Thief thing, y'know?"
Scott pouted. "I guess not…"
"Ren and Ann are right about laying low for now. Palace talk can always wait, after all. What can't wait is the celebration for our first successful heist, remember?" Morgana interjected.
Ryuji blinked. "Oh yeah! Damn, I almost forgot about that! Ren’s still got the medal, right?"
Ren nodded.
"I recommend selling it as soon as you possibly can. Accidentally revealing you have something on you that looks like it was stolen from Kamoshida is dangerous, even if it's just a clone."
"We've already got a place in mind, remember? The guy who buys f*cking anything?" Scott pointed out.
"We'll get it done. Ann said she had a restaurant in mind, but I don't think we've picked a date yet." Ren said, putting a hand to his chin.
Ryuji tilted his head a bit. "Can't we just do it, like, tomorrow or somethin'?"
Realizing something, Ann raised her hand. "Oh! What about at the end of the holidays? Then we won't be feeling the impending dread of going back to school!"
"Uh… holidays? It's May." Said Scott, raising an eyebrow.
Ryuji's eyebrows went up. "Oh shit, I guess Scott wouldn't really know about Golden Week, huh? I dunno how you missed it was comin' till now, but whatever."
"Golden week ends on the 5th, with Children's Day. So we'll meet up then." Ren explained. "Any objections?"
None were had across the board.
"Good. It's starting to get late, so Scott and I should get back to Leblanc before Sojiro chews us out again."
Oh sh*t, he's right… when did the sky turn orange?!
Notes:
Only one more chapter of the Kamoshida arc to go, folks! Hard to believe we're already here... time really flies, huh? Last week I got to plug another fic inspired by this one, and this week I've got actual fanart to show off too??? It's insane, I never thought my wacky self-indulgent "fine, I'll do it myself" AU would get this, but I'm overjoyed it is! (Plus another link I some how forgot to share previously. smhing my head at myself.)
https://starlit-doodles.tumblr.com/post/669798326748741632/fell-into-a-rabbit-hole-recently-fanart-of
https://sketchypeppers.tumblr.com/post/669880823097524224/shoutouts-to-vexilanimous-for-singlehandledly
https://lbkc.tumblr.com/post/666521762806251520/i-read-vexilanimous-stwp5-crossover-fic-todayTo both of these incredible artists, my heart is full of love and light. Thank you :)
Chapter 19: Oh Boy, Food *and* Plates?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/5--
-DAYTIME-
"Is this for real?!"
Ryuji’s eyes glittered at the huge lobby around them. Ann met up with them at Shibuya Station at the designated time, and led them to a gilded hotel that stretched high into the sky. At first, Scott thought Ann had taken a wrong turn somewhere, but she just waltzed in without even a little hesitation.
"We're eating… at a hotel?" Scott asked tentatively, squinting up at the absolutely massive and massively shiny chandelier above them.
Ann grinned. "Yeah! Their buffet's open to the public, not just guests! But uh, lemme check in before you guys rush the place…"
Ann skipped over to the reception desk, and started talking to the lady behind the desk.
"Did she… did she make reservations?" Scott asked, still pretty distracted by the sheer swankyness around them.
"I guess so. It does make sense for a high-end place at the end of Golden Week, after all." Ren said.
"I am so glad we actually remembered to sell that medal…" Scott mumbled.
“Remember what she said after Kamoshida confessed?” Ryuji shivered. "She probably woulda killed you if you forgot, dude…"
"Forgot what?" Ann asked, rejoining the group.
"Nothing! We didn't forget anything!" Ren stated quickly.
"Jeez, the glitter getting to you guys already?" Ann teased. "Anyways, the buffet's actually on the second floor, c'mon!"
If there was one huge silver lining to this whole Persona 5 situation Scott was in, it was the fact that so much of the food here was freakin' delicious. And this… holy sh*t, this was unlike anything he'd had in his entire goddamn life.
...He hadn't even gotten to eat anything yet, and this was already what was running through Scott’s head. What was gonna be like when he actually sat down?! And that was when his eyes landed on something that made him finally get what people meant by 'love at first sight.'
Lobster mac and cheese? That exists??
Hell. F*cking. Yes. Scott thought it was impossible to improve upon his second favorite side dish at any Thanksgiving (the only thing above it being pretzels), but it seemed like today he was going to be proven wrong. Hell, by the time his thought process finished, he was already scooping generous helpings of the stuff onto his plate.
"Absolutely barbaric. He's spooning that delicacy like a maniac!"
"Come now, darling. It's not so wrong to make the most of a trip here when you have the chance, is it?"
"Hmph, perhaps. I will say, having our party crashed, as it were, by hooligans like him is not my idea of a fine dining experience."
"Yes, well… It's just for today, dear. These teenagers must run on home at some point."
"I look forward to that."
A middle-aged, stereotypically rich-looking couple stood on the other side of the seafood table, staring at Scott. He paused his scooping.
"Uh, you guys do realize I'm right here, right? And I'm not a kid!"
"Why, I never! When I was your age, We treated our elders with respect!"
"Now, now. If we don't impede this boy's lunch, he'll finish and leave faster."
"Of course, of course. I suppose we shall just lay low at our own table for now."
“I mean, you sh*t talk a guy’s addiction right in front of him, and act all surprised when he snaps back?” Scott mumbled under his breath. “Not like it really matters…”
Scott returned to his spot at the table they were sitting at. “Hey, I’m back. Sucks that this place doesn’t make their lobster mac with noodles compatible with no-fork spaghetti, but what can ya do?”
“Dude, is that just a mountain of one pasta on your plate?!” Ryuji asked before quickly tearing off another bite of chicken leg.
“You’ve got nothing but meat, Ann’s got nothing but cake, and you’re gonna call me out for only getting one thing?”
Ann scoffed. “I didn’t even say anything! And at least I have different kinds of cake, you’ve got a ton of the same kinda meat over there, Ryuji.”
“Hey, they’re all made different, that’s a huge deal with this stuff! This one’s honey roasted, this one’s in a kebab, this one’s ‘Seuss Veede,’ and I don’t even know what the hell that means-”
“She wasn’t asking for a list, Ryuji.” Morgana interrupted, partly muffled as he was still working on his latest bite.
"Actually, you know what?" Scott put a big forkful of his lobster mac in his piehole. "You all haf your sh*t, an' I haf mine, an' I'm gonna enjoy this godamn mounten of delishus!"
Ryuji’s eyes widened. "Holy shit, it even happens with his mouth full?!"
"You should see him back at Leblanc when we've got homework." Ren chuckled. "Whenever he can't copy mine, he's muttering to himself about how much the assignment 'blows,' and they’re still at full volume."
Scott swallowed. "Again, what are you guys f*cking talking about?!"
Scott couldn’t help himself from having a good time. He ate way more than his stomach should have been able to fit, and laughed about stupid sh*t with the teammates he stole Kamoshida's heart with. Yeah, they were fictional characters, but they could hold a damn good conversation anyways! The dirty looks from the snobby rich people making up the rest of the place's customer base were kinda annoying, but none of them were real either, so who gives a f*ck?
After what felt like an eternity, every single plate they had grabbed was finally empty. The table before them was a wasteland of ceramic surfaces, and surrounding it were the victors of an entirely self-imposed war on their stomachs.
"I think I just went up a few belt sizes…" Ren whimpered.
Scott weakly nodded. "Kirby makes it look so easy…"
"We've still got a few minutes left here, anyone else want a tart to finish things off?"
"Ann, Don’t even bring up something like that…" He groaned, leaning his head back and staring up at another chandelier that hung in the buffet area. This place seemed to have a lot of those.
Guess it's back to looking for a way out, huh? Not like I was really getting anywhere before now, though…
…
Actually, wouldn't that be kinda pointless? Even if I got close to a clue, Anna May would probably just patch it out before I could try anything.
It'd probably be a better idea to just… bide my time. See if anything presents itself, just try to speed through the story in the meantime…
And these NPCs are pretty cool, I guess it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to stay a little longer.
…
"Scott! You okay, man? Shit, you’re not in a food coma right now, are you?!" Ryuji’s voice brought him back to reality, where the entire party (including Morgana) were staring at him expectantly.
"...What?"
"Damn, I was joking, but maybe you really were for a sec there…"
Ann rolled her eyes. "Zoning out for like, two minutes isn't a food coma, Ryuji."
Ren got the discussion back on track. "We were just talking about the possibility of continuing as the Phantom Thieves. I mean, we all know Kamoshida isn't the only bastard out there, and we have the power to actually do something about that."
"Yeah, we can't just sit on our asses now that we've got this! So, whaddaya think? You in too, Scott?" Ryuji asked, looking like an excited puppy.
He blinked.
“You want my opinion on this?”
Ren nodded. “Of course we do. You were just as important to the team as every other one of us was.”
Actually, you know what? Yeah. I can make this work.
Scott shrugged. "Sure, why not?"
"Then it’s official." Ren stated with a smile and a nod. "From this day forward, we're officially-"
BZZT! BZZT! BZZT!
Ann's phone suddenly started vibrating loudly on the table.
"Way to kill the mood, Ann!" Ryuji teased with a grin.
She winced as she checked the screen. "Jeez, it actually kinda did… that was the timer for the table."
"Aw, what?! There's no way that was a whole hour!"
"You were just groaning about how stuffed you were a minute ago!"
"It’s a real shame we have to leave such a lovely location so soon..." Morgana grumbled.
Scott stood up and stretched. "Honestly, my reserve of fuel for getting f*cking blasted by gold sh*t has gotten pretty damn empty. I gotta give my eyes a break…"
"Yeah, I could use some air…" Ren agreed, standing up and slinging the Morgana bag over his shoulder.
So, I'm actually going all in here, huh? Living in that cafe attic for… however long this game goes, going to f*cking high school again… That part definitely blows.
But I mean, it's not really an RPG this way, not even turn-based… and getting to f*ck up Kamoshida’s shadow and see him break down right there…
That was pretty damn powerful, I'll give this game that.
I mean, If I find a way out randomly I'll take it, but this is basically happening in the country that made Wario! If I'm gonna be stuck here, I can at least have some fun, see the sights…
Scott was totally lost in his thoughts as he and the other now-official Phantom Thieves of Hearts stepped out of the hotel's elevator and made their way to the door. That is, he was until some guy in a suit shoulder-checked him as he and his groupies headed for the buffet themselves.
"Hey, watch where you're going!"
As one of his men pushed the elevator button, the bald man that hit Scott glared at him through a pair of tacky-ass orange shades.
"Hmph. They’re just letting any toddler walk in here these days, huh?" He turned back to the one who pressed the button. "Any updates?"
"Why do people keep thinking I’m a kid?!"
"Hey Scott, you coming or-" Ren’s voice came up from behind him, but he stopped that sentence in its tracks before he was finished.
"I'm a busy man, I don't have time to 'watch where I'm going.' Do it yourself."
"It doesn't even take time to watch-" Scott started, before another groupie walked up and shoved him back.
"He said he’s busy."
"Don’t bother, we have far more important things to attend to." The elevator in front of them dinged. "Come on."
The middle aged guy in a suit f*cking pouted. "Yes, sir."
"Dicks…" Scott mumbled under his breath, before turning back around and starting his walk back toward the hotel doors, with Ren catching up a moment later.
"That voice… didn't it sound sort of familiar?" Ren asked, furrowing his brow.
"Huh?"
He frowned and shook away his concern. "If that didn't ring any bells, then I’m probably just imagining it… sorry, let's get out of here."
-EVENING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ann] hey, guys!
[Ann] take a look at this!
[Ann] http://phantomaficionados.tumblr.com
[Ryuji] whoa, the hell is this
[Ann] somebody mentioned it under some old post lol
[Ann] I’ve been getting loads of comments on my Instagram the last few days from people sorry they spread rumors abt me and Kamoshida
[Ann] which I wasn't really mad about anyways, 99% of my anger was abt what the bastard did to Shiho
[Scott] I mean, the rumors stopping is a bonus, right?
[Ren] Yeah, It's something you won't need to deal with anymore either way.
[Ann] yeah, but we're getting off track here!!!
[Ann] seriously, check out the link!
[Ryuji] i just did!!!
[Ryuji] you guys gotta take a look, its a wholeass fansite for us!
[Ren] Really? Let me take a look, too.
[Scott] Phantom aficionado's website? we've already got a goddamn fan club??
[Ann] I guess so!
[Ryuji] there's even a poll at the top here
[Ryuji] jfc only 6% of people think we're for real???
[Ren] That’s actually better than what I was expecting.
[Scott] Are you kidding??? that score Reeks, we gotta get it up!
[Ann] yeah! I guess we just have to change more hearts, right?
[Ryuji] i mean yeah but if nobody knows who tf the guy is that were targeting itll do jack shit
[Ann] yeah, if we go big we can help tons of victims at once!
[Ann] also look at this
[Ann] if you check the #message cards tag, there's a ton of comments people sent in!
[Ann] stuff like "now I can start holding my head high again," and "I'm real glad my homies on the team won't keep coming over with bigass bruises, I was getting really damn worried for em"
[Ren] Wow… I guess I never really thought of any outsider perspectives on this before now.
[Ren] It’s weird suddenly getting all this praise, but it's… kinda nice.
[Ren] Even if it’s indirect.
[Scott] I mean, there's also a sh*tload of messages saying we're fake
[Scott] Like, "tf is up with this blog lmao?? cringe"
[Ryuji] bruh this one’s calling us a viral marketing thing? hell no???
[Ann] but guys!!! there's a big picture here!
[Ann] all those anons saying that us even just existing gives them strength… that's incredible!
[Ann] if more people think we're real, more people get helped even if they aren't involved in any cases, yknow?
[Ryuji] hell yeah!!! This just proves we gotta keep goin!!!
[Ryuji] okay so we gotta take down some bigwig right. But we can't just pick anybody, yknow
[Ren] Yeah… maybe a unanimous decision system should be what we use?
[Ann] I like the sound of that!
[Ryuji] fine by me
[Scott] Yeah, that works
[Scott] See? We’re already using it!
[Ren] That settles it, then.
[Ren] Starting tomorrow, let's start looking for our next target as Phantom Thieves.
END OF ARC 1 - KAMOSHIDA
Notes:
And that's a wrap on the first arc!!! God Damn, it's hard to believe we're already at this milestone, but here we are??? I want to thank every single commenter, bookmarker, and everyone who leaves kudos, you guys keep making my day time and time again! I really just started writing this mostly for myself, and mostly just posted it in case, like, a couple other people could enjoy it, so it's insane that there's more than a couple fans out there!
I'm probably going to be take a week or two off from uploading. I like to keep a good buffer of content going to use as a safety net in case I hit a slump or something, and I plan on using the extra free time I'll have over the holidays bang out a few more chapters so that I can get more stuff out in the long run! In the meantime, take the spotify playlist I use for writing vibes as a consolation prize, hehe
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1GS0lEguPRDN48IJvYvJrW?si=af5c1a9ae53849ea
Some of these songs are dead on for what I've got planned, but many others are there for the General Vibes. Which one is which? I'll never tell :)
(Seriously, I won't. Feel free to theorize and comment those theories, but I'm shit at subtlety and would hate to accidentally spoil something 'cause of that.)Oh, and one last thing... I've noticed some weirdness with the fanart I've received, in that it doesn't appear in any main tag searches on Tumblr. I have no clue why that could be happening, but I figured it'd be worth noting! Basically, if you just so happen to draw something for the AU, please tag me! Unfortunately, Tumblr being Tumblr means I probably won't see it otherwise ;u;
Chapter 20: Mementos
Notes:
And we're back! Hope you all had a great holiday season, I know I did. :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/7--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
"Yeesh, I am never gonna get used to these crowds…" Scott muttered, standing with the rest of the group in front of Shibuya station at Morgana’s request.
Ren nodded. "Tell me about it…"
"Hey, we aren’t here to stand around and complain, you know!" Morgana mewed, jumping out of Ren's bag and taking a seat on a ledge where the stairs down into the station began. "We’re here to finally get you guys started with my mission!"
"Oh yeah, that!" Ryuji said.
"You're forgetting it on purpose by now, aren't you?!"
"What is this mission of yours, anyways?" Ren asked, tilting his head a little. “You never told us what it was.”
"It'll be easier to show you, actually. You guys have the Phantom Thieves Aficionados site on hand? Just bring up any posts with a full name, I’m sure we'll find one for this demonstration easily."
"You mean like, ones that aren’t big shots? Yeah, I guess I can look around…" Ryuji got his phone out of his hoodie pocket and got scrolling.
Looks like I was right to bookmark it.
As soon as it got brought up in the group chat, Scott could tell it was going to be important somehow. I mean, an entire in-universe website dedicated to their party? Especially after going up so quickly, it had to serve some purpose, either in the game’s mechanics or its plot. Thanks to having it readily accessible, he actually stumbled onto the post they needed first.
"Hey, here's one with a name. 'I don't know what to do about my ex who's stalking me, named, uhh…'"
Scott squinted at the screen. The message, like everything else written down in this game, was in Japanese. Even though he was somehow able to just get something after looking closely at it for a second, this name was really giving him trouble.
"Jesus Christ, this is a mouthful. Natsukiho… Nanokahara?"
"You’re one to talk, Wozniak." Ryuji mumbled. "Neither of those names even sound real."
"Oh! Here's the post Scott’s talking about!" Ann interjected. "Looks like the guy's name is actually Natsuhiko Nakanohara."
Morgana's ears perked up. "Good! Now, if you could open the Nav for us, dear leader."
"Oh, sure. Are we jumping right into a palace or something?" Ren nodded.
"I am so glad I'm not gonna be the one trying to spell that name…" Scott muttered.
Morgana ignored Scott. "Well, yes and no. Again, it'll be easier to explain if i show you. Put in the keyword 'Mementos.'"
Ren got typing. "Got it, what about the other two-"
"Candidate found. Beginning navigation."
Ryuji got up from where he'd been sitting on the ground. "Wait, that’s it?"
The brief wave of lightheadedness that came with entering the Metaverse was becoming something Scott was used to by this point.
After quickly shaking his head to clear it, Scott noticed the huge crowd that constantly plagued this area had just… vanished.
I mean, that makes sense. We are the only actual people on this side of things, after all…
Even though their clothes (and Morgana’s form) hadn’t changed yet, he could tell they weren't in the real Shibuya anymore. The Metaverse just felt different, in a similar way to the safe rooms feeling different from the rest of a palace.
Actually, it feels more like that here than like an actual palace.
"So, you said this isn't Nakanohara's palace, right? Or, that it is and it isn't." Ren asked Morgana.
He seemed lost in thought. "Just as I thought, you only needed the one keyword to get to Mementos!"
"Heyyy, earth to cat!" Ryuji said. He waved a hand over Morgana's face, making the cat glare at him.
"Call me a cat one more time, and I'll tear that hand apart."
Ryuji yanked it back to his side and out of the cat's range. "Jesus…"
"To answer your question, Ren, that's correct. This is a palace, but it's entirely different from Kamoshida’s or any others with its own ruler. Now come on, Mementos starts underground."
"Wait, how are we gonna get underground?"
"...You’re kidding, right?"
"I'm kinda wondering, too…" Ann admitted.
"What are we literally standing right next to?"
"A stairway down into- oh! Okay, yeah, that makes way more sense than drilling into some not-palace." Scott pointed out with a nod.
"Exactly, now let's get going already!" Morgana mewed impatiently, hopping down the stairs before anybody could say anything else.
"Finally! Took you slowpokes long enough!" Mona groaned at the bottom of the staircase.
"Says the guy with cat legs…" Skull mumbled from behind Duel.
This place, Mementos if he heard right, was weird. Hell, the level they were on wasn't even that large and he could tell that much.
Most of the room was taken up by those metal panels you step on when you get onto an escalator, feeding into an entire row of them that were completely motionless. Duel couldn't see very far down, but something told him that every floor after this one would be f*cking huge. A couple decently-sized monitors were on either side of the way down, but they only showed static. Stringy things Duel could really only describe as fleshy growths creeped out from the corners, covering most of the wall and making the normal-ass siding underneath hard to see. Same went for the two load-bearing pillars in the room, and even the escalator they’d need to descend from. It was no wonder the escalators didn't work, with all of this gunking them up.
"What's this place's deal? It's definitely got, uh… an aesthetic." Duel asked, turning towards Mona, who was standing with two legs on one of the stopped escalator railings.
He looked down, and then at Joker, Skull, and Panther.
"Oh hey, our clothes changed."
Panther's eyes widened. "Wait, the shadows know we're here already?!"
"Oh yeah, they knew instantly." Confirmed Mona. "Don't worry, I've never seen a single shadow come up to this floor. Even if they did try to actually search you all out, these ones aren't the sharpest tools in the utility belt to begin with."
"You still haven't explained what this Mementos place is, Mona." Joker pointed out.
"Right, of course. Well, Kamoshida had a palace because his desires were distorted enough to create it, right? Well, distorted desires aren't an uncommon thing, at least not on the scale of a palace ruler. An otherwise honest person could become jealous about something, for example."
Duel started tapping his cane against the floor impatiently. "And how does that relate to this place, exactly?"
"Right. To sum it up, Mementos is the general public's palace, or the collective unconscious." Mona concluded.
"The collected what-now?" Skull asked with a blank stare on his face.
"...Actually, just thinking of it as the general public's palace is more than enough."
Duel put a gloved hand to his chin. "Ohhh, I get it… this is where we do sidequests in between big palaces, right?"
Mona looked at him blankly. "I mean, if I'm understanding that right, I guess that's one way of putting it. The long and short of it is, we can change the hearts of those that deserve it, but don't hold strong enough distortions to have a palace of their own."
"Sidequests, got it." Duel said with a nod.
"I guess we should get going, then. Mona, show us the method as we go, okay?" Joker said with that respectable yet commanding tone.
"Of course! One more thing before we go, however. Mementos is large, even compared to Kamoshida’s entire castle. Walking isn't gonna cut it."
"Wait, it's not? What are we doing instead?" Panther asked, crossing her arms in puzzlement.
Mona smirked. "Oh, I am glad you asked, Panther."
He hopped off the escalator base he was standing on, and took up a position in the side of the room nobody was standing in.
"Everybody, stand back." Mona commanded, before doing some weird series of poses.
"Morgana… TRANSFORM!!!"
With another hop and a puff of smoke, Mona vanished, leaving in his place a…
"Holy sh*t, did Mona just turn into a f*cking car?!" Duel cried.
"Indeed I did. Now get in already!" He responded, now sounding slightly tinny through some sort of speaker system.
"How the hell are you doin' that?!" Skull asked.
"For some reason, the concept of cats turning into buses is extremely widespread with the general public. This is more of a van, but I guess it's close enough to work!"
"Wha- why?!"
"I dunno, are you guys seriously gonna stand around questioning that?! I can't move without somebody driving me, you know!"
"Wait, you can't?" Panther asked. "Uh, I don’t have my license yet…"
Joker fidgeted with his bangs. "I don't either, but I could probably figure it out…"
"I've got a license." Duel stated. "No idea if it works over here in another country, but it's not like there’s any cops down here."
"Uh… are we sure we want Duel to be the one drivin' us around?" Skull asked nervously.
Joker looked at him. "Why not?"
"I dunno, I've just got a bad feelin' about this…"
Mona honked in frustration. "Guh, I don’t care who drives, let’s just go already! You guys have stalled my mission for long enough by now!!"
"Relax! Even if there were cops down here, I've got the ol' reliable 'just sh*t my pants’ excuse to get out of any speeding tickets, guaranteed!" Duel reassured the other thieves with one of his trademark big grins as he climbed into the driver's seat.
Joker gulped. "Okay, maybe you've got a point there, Skull."
"Uh, Duel? Where are you taking us? Because we just passed Nakanohara's area, and I'm pretty sure there's no way you could have missed the huge distortion hole in the wall." Mona said, now utilizing another speaker system on the inside of the car.
Now that they were actually getting into the meat and potatoes of Mementos and there wasn’t the benefit of a nearby stairway that went directly to the surface, the place was unbearably muggy. The Monabus did have air conditioning, which made the place tolerable (not THAT tolerable, it was really struggling to keep up in this environment), but Duel was really f*cking happy they didn’t need to walk everywhere down here.
"Oh, I know. I'm gonna find all the items in the area first, the boxes we're picking up have stuff that's actually useful! Plus, I'm guessing there's gonna be treasure chests around here to crack open."
"Okay, but… we're here to change Nakanohara's heart, remember?"
“We’re still doing that, don’t worry! But as as we get into newer dungeons, sh*t’s gonna get harder, so I’d really rather be well stocked than f*cking dead, y’know?”
Skull groaned from the back seat of the Monabus. "Duel, oh my fucking God, I am begging you to turn around and just get to Nakanohara. It already took forever just finding that spot!"
"Relax, it's not gonna take that long! You guys got any road trip games while I look around?"
"I don't." Joker shook his head. "The first major trip I've taken in my life was our silent train ride here."
Panther perked up. "Ooh, I've got one! How about I Spy?"
"Oh yeah, guess that works." Skull shrugged. "Uhh... I spy somethin' red."
"Is it this whole floor?" Mona deadpanned through his speakers.
"Yeah, it’s Mementos."
"Wait, seriously?!"
Panther scoffed. "If you aren't planning on taking this seriously, then I'll pick something."
Panther let out a long 'hmm' as she glanced around the area through Mona’s windows. "I spy, uh…" She trailed off, deep in thought.
"Uhh."
That wasn’t as thoughtful an 'uh' as before, this one was more nervous.
Looking up at the rear-view mirror, Duel saw her tensed up, neck craned around trying to get a good look out of the back (or… butt window? This bus still is Mona, after all) windshield. "What?"
"I spy something really big and scary with two super huge guns headed straight for us!!!" Cried Panther, her voice getting more panicked with each word.
"Wait, that must be the Reaper! We've been in this area too long, and we're no match for it!"
"The WHAT?! You didn't think about mentioning that earlier???" Duel shouted into the dashboard, looking utterly insane to anyone who didn't have context.
"I thought we were going to make this quick! Come on, we gotta get to Nakanohara's segment and out of this monster's way!"
"Of f*cking course that's how you de-aggro it." He grumbled, noting an upcoming fork in the road that was on the same side as one they'd passed earlier.
At least, he was pretty sure it was on the same side. Then again, Duel did not want to even attempt to straight-up speed past this Reaper if he could help it, because he knew that couldn't end well.
"Okay everyone, hold on tight! Mona, where’s the drift button?!"
"The WHAT?!"
"Whatever, still making this work!!" Duel said through gritted teeth, before yanking Mona’s wheel to the side, hard. The bus violently swung to the side, flattening the rest of its passengers against the side of the vehicle, and even making Duel’s hat fly off his head and smack Joker in the face. The entire crew aside from Duel screamed as the bus made what was definitely the sharpest U-turn they'd ever seen, but he managed to make it without smashing into any walls.
Mona's tinny speakers came on again, his voice shaking like he'd just seen a ghost. "Duel, what the hell?! You’re gonna smash my handsome face in doing that!"
"You wanna get away from this thing or not?! Hold on, we’re looping back!"
Duel pressed his foot harder into the gas pedal, getting as much speed as he could now that they were actually going in a straight line. Spotting a familiar-looking wall growth he found especially gross, Duel knew he was still on the right track.
Getting back on the path they’d been on when the Reaper started to chase them and taking another sharp right turn, Duel spotted the red glow coming from another hall that ended with the entrance to Nakanohara's segment of Mementos.
"Okay, we're going in!" Duel shouted to warn the others, finishing right as the Monabus plunged into the warped red light.
Notes:
So yeah, now we're back to weekly Friday updates! I've got a good few more chapters locked and loaded, including some more major cases of canon divergence now that we're not establishing every little thing, hehe.
It's really good to be back, and I'll see you all next week!
Chapter 21: And You Gotta Get *Really* Mad if They Don’t Wanna F*ck You.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
For a moment, the world around them was nothing but a red and black blur, but it seemed to spin around them anyways. The same lightheaded feeling that came when entering the Metaverse hit Duel again, but this time it was much stronger. If he weren't sitting down and buckled in, he probably would have fallen over. Even in that single second, which, to be fair, felt way longer than any second should reasonably feel, he was reminded of the sinking feeling you get when staring down from a high place as a tiny part of you almost feels tempted to jump out of pure curiosity.
But, just as quickly as the feeling had overwhelmed him, it was over. Mona’s wheels hit the floor on the other side of the segment's entrance, sending a small shockwave through his passengers with the impact. Duel, more on instinct than anything else, slammed his foot onto the brakes, sending the Monabus screeching to a halt.
The driver's side door popped open, and Duel fell out of the van face-first as soon as he managed to find the real seat belt button among the four out-of-focus ones that Mona apparently had decided to add to the van.
"Mhh…" He managed.
The sound of the other doors popping open drifted into his ears, along with a few wobbly-sounding footsteps onto the floor behind him.
"Duel… I'm not sure if you are the worst driver ever or if Mona is the worst navigator ever. But like, let’s never do that again, yeah?" Skull said from somewhere in the area behind him. Duel had no clue where, he was still face down on the f*cking gross Mementos pavement.
Still, he held up one thumb (at least, Duel hoped it was going up) in the hopes that Skull would actually see it.
"How about we chalk it up to that being part of the learning process of Phantom Thievery and leave it there?" Came Joker’s voice, who thankfully didn't sound as out of it as Duel was right now.
Guess I should actually get up…
He summoned the whackin' cane and used it to support his weight as he stood back up. He had to fumble around for his mask-glasses, which thankfully weren't broken, and he somehow found them fairly quickly.
Man, I would be pretty boned if I got stuck without glasses down here… hold on, where’d my hat go?!
"Looking for this?" Joker said, holding Duel’s hat towards him with a small smile. "It hit me in the face during the U-turn."
"Oh, thank Christ…" Duel mumbled, putting it back on. "Wait, sh*t, where's the Monabus?!"
"I'm down here…" Came a shaky voice down in the middle of the group.
"Wait, when'd you turn into a cat again?"
Mona took a deep, agitated breath before saying anything. "I’ve elected to not claw your face off only because Joker doesn't sound like he would be happy about that idea. Don't push your luck."
"Jesus…" Skull mumbled, rubbing the back of his head.
"So are you guys just gonna stand there, or…?"
Someone's distorted, hesitant voice came to them from further into the area.
"Oh, right! I totally forgot why we came here for a second there!" Panther said, eyes wide.
Duel shook his head, clearing away the rest of the lingering dizziness, before looking deeper into the room the distortion led them to. It was long, looking like it probably went on forever, though the tracks twisting and distorting in more obstructive ways as the room went effectively made it fairly small, at least compared to the rest of what he'd seen of Mementos so far. He was reminded of something around the size of the school gym, though this place seemed a bit narrower than that.
"Right, let's talk to his shadow. This should be a fairly similar process to your fight with Kamoshida, on a much smaller scale. We fight 'til he wears himself out, then we convince him to return to his real self and make things right." Mona explained.
Joker nodded. "Sounds simple enough."
Nakanohara started to look uneasy as the group approached him. "Wait, who the hell even are you?! What do you even want from me?"
"You're Nakanohara, correct? We know you've been stalking your ex-girlfriend."
The shadow’s emotions instantly shifted from vague unease to a jealous rage on hearing that. "What the hell? Why’s it your business what I do with my property?!"
Skull cringed. "That’s a yikes from me, dude."
"Your property? What about her feelings, you sick fuck?!" Panther spat.
"After she used me like a damn toy and then threw me out? She didn't care about my feelings, why should I care about hers?!"
Skull jabbed a finger in Nakanohara's direction. "You seriously think that’s a good excuse?! Well, tell all the scumbags you know that we're changin' your heart, and they're up next if they're treating people the same way you do!"
"Drama queen…" Mona mumbled.
The shadow seemed almost offended. "Seriously? All the horrible people in this world, and I'm the one you're targeting?! Why the hell is Madarame still out there with all that shit he gets away with, if you’re so keen on changing the bastards out there?!"
Skull's expression went blank. "Uh… who?"
"Not like there’s even a point trying to talk to you guys from your high horses… alright, if you want my heart, come and get it!" Nakanohara spat at them, before f*cking melting.
What the hell…?
The red and black glob he left behind started to rise back up and take a new shape, however. As it started to solidify, Nakanohara's shadow took on the form of what looked like a cartoon demon, with orange skin and dark purple hair that covered its eyes. He grinned a sharp, toothy grin at them while pointing one of his new huge claws in their direction.
Ah. That makes way more sense than just melting.
"You think I'm just gonna let you take away what's rightfully mine?! 'Cause I'd actually rather just kill ya!"
"He's coming! Stay on your guard, we don’t know what he's capable of!" Mona warned.
Nakanohara was very much not capable of killing the Phantom Thieves, despite his big talk just a few minutes ago.
Duel twirled his cane on one finger. "Seriously? I know this is our first sidequest, but this guy was a f*cking breeze."
Skull hummed. "I guess that freakout with the Reaper guy back there got our blood pumpin'?"
"Focus! He's about to go to the normal shadow form!" Mona reminded them, motioning to the cartoon devil that was panting with his head drooped.
The huge head, claws, and other fighting-form features all began to bubble away and slide off as it once again became that weird shadow goop, before finally drying out and becoming more of the fine dusty haze that seemed to cover every inch of Mementos. Left standing there, like he was in the center of one of those gourmet desserts where they melt a dome of chocolate onto something smaller inside, was Nakanohara's completely human-adjacent shadow.
"I… I was wrong, wasn't I?" He said quietly, looking down in shame.
Duel raised an eyebrow. "Ya think?"
"Right, obvious question. It's just… when someone else just threw me away like a piece of trash just like Madarame did, I think I lost sight of what a working relationship is in the first place."
"Regardless of what someone did to you in the past, you shouldn't have involved someone who wasn't part of it." Joker explained, the same way he told Kamoshida that he needed to atone for what he'd done.
The shadow nodded. "Yes, that's clear to me now. I'm going to return to my real self and move on already." He hesitated, and actually looked at the thieves. "Uh, actually… if I may, you said you're trying to change hearts?"
"That’s the long and short of it, yeah." Skull shrugged.
"Then I'd like to ask you to change Madarame's heart. I know it's a tall ask after what I've done, but…" Nakanohara finally looked up at them as he started to glitter just as Kamoshida did before him.
"Wait, you never told us what-" Joker held out a hand, trying to tell the shadow to just hold on and give them some context, but he was already gone.
Unlike Kamoshida, however, this shadow left something behind when it vanished. A pearl brooch hung in the air in a white halo of light, slightly bobbing up and down.
“That’s the bud of a treasure!” Mona explained. “Not as major as the ones from a palace with one ruler, but it might have some special effect!”
“Some special effect, huh…?” Joker muttered, plucking the item out of the air. As soon as his hand secured it, the halo of light vanished. “Might be useful. Anyways, we’re done here now, right Mona?”
“Morgana… transform!!!”
From near the distortion, or door, or whatever the hell their way in and out could be called, the Monabus appeared again in another puff of smoke.
“Do you have to do that every time?” Duel asked incredulously.
“Don’t question my methods! Anyways, there’s one other thing I want to check before we leave. It’s not gonna take long, at least if Duel doesn’t decide to drive around in circles again.”
“Hey, you were the one who didn’t tell me this place has a time limit! And f*ck no, I am not picking a fight with that thing if I can help it.”
“Good, we’ve been running around here way too long already!” Sighed Panther, making her way to the Monabus and climbing into the back seat.
Duel groaned, but dragged himself back into the driver’s seat. “Can you guys at least put some of the blame on Mona too?!”
Joker feigned a thoughtful expression. “Hmm… nope.”
Of course not…
By some f*cking miracle, it didn’t take any time at all to find the platform that continued down. After the team descended the escalator that was just as motionless as the ones at the entrance, they found themselves on a floor that was far less expansive than the last one.
It was nothing more than a long room similar to one Nakanohara’s shadow resided in, with the trains rushing past them on both sides at blinding speeds acting as walls. More fleshy growths crept up the supporting pillars, but the main feature of the room was the wall at the very end that was covered in intricate designs that glowed an eerie red. The thing was kinda mesmerizing, the way it got more complex as each quarter got closer to its respective corner, while the huge four-pointed star shape in the middle just stood out on its own.
As cool-looking as it is, a wall is a wall. What the heck is Mona looking for here?
“Uh, Mona, what’re we doing here at a dead end?” Panther asked the cat, clearly thinking the same thing.
“Creepy as hell, too…” Added Skull.
Mona trotted up close to the wall. “Don’t be so quick to judge, Panther. If I’m right, this is no mere wall.” He mewed over his shoulder, before placing one paw on the glowing surface.
A low rumbling noise started, which was probably associated with the ground trembling under them.
“W-woah!” Skull cried, holding out his arms to steady himself against the surprise tremor.
The four-pointed star at the center of the wall’s glowing design was pulled back a bit before rising up, as the four corner sections rotated into the wall and out of the way of what was now clearly another set of escalators down. There was even a flickering electronic sign conveniently marking it as such, in both Japanese and English.
The shaking stopped. Every Phantom Thief’s phone (aside from the phoneless Mona) buzzed from inside of their pockets.
“A new area has been confirmed in the depths. Updating guidance information.”
Joker put a hand to his chin. “Huh, I guess this wasn’t a dead end.”
“Nope, just as I thought!” Mona mewed, clearly pleased with himself. “This wasn’t moving the last time I was here by myself, but there’s no way I’d believe the very bottom of Mementos was somewhere normal like this.”
Duel scoffed. “Normal? You sure your eyes work, Mona?”
He ignored the comment, but still shot a glare in Duel’s direction. “The point is, now I know for sure that there’s more to this place.”
“Uh, there is no way I am up to more goddamn Mementos today.” Skull grumbled.
“What? No, we’ve done what we set out to do here today. We can always come back and explore the new levels later.”
“Thank God…”
Joker nodded. “You heard Mona, let’s head back for now. I’m sure we could all use some rest.”
"Yeah, I hope I can stay awake when I'm working on reviewing stuff for the midterms coming up…" Mumbled Panther.
Duel froze. "The what."
Notes:
Next week, the fact that we're in Royal in particular is gonna start to come into play...
There's gonna be some *interesting* character interaction, to say the least! :)
Chapter 22: So, Tell Me Where It All Began...
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/13--
-AFTERNOON-
You know, when I decided I was gonna stick around in Persona 5, I don’t think I was factoring goddamn exams into my decision…
Scott’s brain felt like it had just run a marathon. He hated exams in high school and college already, but here? These were even harder.
It's Larry on Jeopardy all over again…
Needless to say, the school assembly that was scheduled for the second-to-last day of these stupid f*cking midterms was very welcome. Scott didn't care that he'd probably have to listen to some bullsh*t similar to the last one (before it was interrupted, at least), he was fine with anything that wasn't test-related right now.
Weirdly, it seemed like he was one of the only ones with that attitude. The students around him complained about the timing, some even going over flashcards as they waited for the damn thing to start.
Thankfully for them (and less so for Scott), principal Kobayakawa came out onto the stage in the front of the gym without too much of a delay.
He cleared his throat, decided to skip the fluff and got straight to the point. “I’ve called this assembly in response to the concerns many of you have raised. All very well-warranted concerns, after… well, all that’s happened. The mental health of the student body is extremely important to the teachers and staff of Shujin Academy, so we’ve brought in a therapist to help any of you who may think you need it.” He turned to someone off-stage. “Doctor, if you would introduce yourself?”
Principal Kobayakawa took a few steps back, and the therapist approached the microphone with a purposeful stride.
This guy was definitely a far cry from the one other therapist Scott knew of. It was a stark contrast from Jerry’s sweater that seemed to perpetually have the collar of his shirt tucked in weirdly, and Jerry’s general… Jerry-ness.
This guy also seemed to struggle with keeping his attire straight, but like, in a much more suave way. His tie was loose and a little crooked, but he seemed to have more of an ‘actual licensed therapist with a real PhD, rather than whatever the hell PhuD is’ vibe to him. He had a long white lab coat over the light blue button-up that went nicely with the darker blue tie over it. All of this was topped off (and topped off was a very good way to put that, ‘cause this guy was f*cking tall ) by his dark brown hair that threatened to not only get in his way, but also to get into his big glasses.
He faced the crowd of students with a soft, warm smile as he started to speak.
“It’s very nice to- huh?” The guy quickly realized that the mic was set far too low for him after the short principal had been using it a moment ago. “One moment…”
He tried fiddling with the microphone stand to make it extend more, but ended up needing to settle with just tilting it farther up. “Well, I’m sure that’ll work fine… I’ll get back on track.”
“It’s very nice to meet all of you. I’m Takuto Maruki, and I’ll be here to help through the month of November.”
As the crowd of students started to buzz with excitement, especially from the girls saying he was cute, Dr. Maruki tried to bow.
Wait, the microphone’s there-
He bopped it with his head, and had to quickly catch the stand before it fell onto the floor.
Scott let out a sensible chortle at that.
After managing to steady the microphone stand, Maruki straightened himself back up and continued. “Please, don’t stress about formalities with me. I’m simply here to lend a helping, or perhaps a counseling, hand to anyone who’s at all interested. And hey, if calling me Doc makes it easier to talk to me, I’m all for it. Whatever you need, I’ll be…” He trailed off, seeming to realize something.
“...Actually, whatever you need isn’t really the best way to say it. I mean, I can certainly try if you’d like me to, but I probably shouldn’t be your go-to for something like, I dunno, filing your taxes. Wait, do you guys do that already by high school? I forget when exactly that becomes a thing people need to do…”
Principal Kobayakawa sighed. He once again approached the microphone, making Maruki instinctively step back to give him room.
“If you’re ever interested in Maruki’s services, you’ll find him in the nurse’s office after school hours. I won’t keep you from your studies longer, but do give this some consideration.”
-AFTER SCHOOL-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] lmao this schools trying to pretend they care abt our mental health all of a sudden?? Too little too late dipshits
[Ann] yeah, I guess they’re trying to save some face now that national news is slamming Shujin left and right?
[Ann] still feels super forced on the school’s part :/
[Ryuji] so like. Are you guys going. I mean it sounds like bullshit imo
[Ren] Oh yeah, I think we actually have to.
[Ren] Ms. Kawakami said that counseling appointments would be mandatory for “certain students.”
[Ren] I can’t think of anybody else that could possibly be referring to, other than us and maybe the volleyball team.
[Ryuji] wait, for real??
[Ryuji] that really sucks
[Ann] I’ve actually already been!
[Ryuji] huh, when?? School just ended!
[Ann] yea our class didn’t any more exams for today so when I heard Ms. Kawakami say that I sorta figured I’d get it out of the way
[Ann] it wasn’t bad at all though?? Dr. Maruki actually is really nice
[Ann] and there were snacks! :)
[Ryuji] you didnt tell him about the phantom thieves, right???
[Ann] of course not?? I’m not stupid!
[Scott] Huh. Guess ill get it out of the way too
[Ryuji] seriously?? You trust this whole counseling schtick???
[Scott] Dunno, i guess ill find out?
[Scott] I mean, ive been in therapy before so i sorta know how it goes
[Ryuji] wait for real??
[Scott] Yeah, i played a few games that were sh*tty enough to traumatize me
[Ann] wait, like, video games…?
[Scott] They were Really Bad video games.
[Scott] But yeah, i sorta know the ropes for this stuff
[Ren] I see, alright. Scott, I’ll count on you to do some recon, since you have a frame of reference to go on.
[Ren] Ryuji, no matter what he finds, you’ll still need to go.
[Ren] It could draw attention to ourselves if you fight it.
[Ryuji] fiiiiineeee……..
[Ryuji] but only to keep us from getting caught
[Ryuji] ...and bc apparently there are snacks
[Ann] yup! a good variety too! ^u^
[Ann] I only remember the sweet ones tho
[Ryuji] scott can you do me a solid
[Scott] Yeah i can figure out what salty snacks he’s got
[Ryuji] thanks man, youre a lifesaver
[Ann] uhh… aren’t Lifesavers sweet?
--END LOG--
After getting a bit turned around while trying to find the nurse’s office, Scott stood in front of the door to the office that this Dr. Maruki would be in.
Well, no point in standing around out here…
Sliding open the door with one hand and knocking the frame with the other, Scott entered Dr. Maruki’s office.
“Ah, Wozniak-kun! Here for a session?” The therapist beamed at him from a chair in front of a low coffee table, and set the juice box he’d been sipping a second ago down onto it.
He shrugged, looking at the room around him. “I mean, it doesn’t sound like I have much of a choice- wait, am I interrupting something?”
It had taken him a second to notice, but there was a girl sitting in a chair across from Maruki’s. She sat all prim and proper, taking the last bite of a snack cake before crumpling up the wrapper and getting up to toss it in the trash. “Ah, don’t mind me!” She said with a slightly embarrassed smile. “I was just finishing up, anyways. I seem to have let time get away from me!”
“Uh, sure.”
“You know, I’m sure you’ll like Dr. Maruki. I’ve been his patient before I even came to Shujin, and he’s excellent at what he does!”
Scott raised an eyebrow. “Is it the snacks?”
The girl giggled. “Well, they certainly don’t hurt! Oh, I shouldn’t keep you, though! I’ve got to get going if I’m going to be on time for gymnastics, after all!”
She gave herself a quick once-over, making sure her uniform was still on straight and double-checking her thick deep red ponytail in the reflection of the glass on the door’s window. Then she turned back around, gave Scott a quick bow, and dashed out the door with a wave. “Goodbye!”
Scott tilted his head a bit in thought. “That’s gotta be some important character later on, right...?” He muttered to himself.
The school counselor looked up from a folder he’d been sorting through and up at Scott. “Hm? Did you say something?”
Oh yeah, forgot that there was someone else here.
“Uh, nope. Didn’t say a word. I’m supposed to be kinda forced do sessions here, right?”
“Ah, right. I know the school’s requiring you to talk to me, but it wouldn’t be very helpful if I tried to make you talk about things you don’t feel comfortable sharing, you know? So, if you do have something on your mind, I’d encourage you to talk about it, but it’s also perfectly fine if you’d rather make some small talk, or just grab a snack and leave. Ah, speaking of…”
Dr. Maruki reached over to a small set of metal drawers he’d scooted up close to his chair and slid open the top drawer, revealing a plethora of individually-wrapped treats inside.
“I would like to say that if you’re on the fence about talking to me about something, even just getting it off your chest is extremely helpful, Wozniak-kun. Bottling things up, thinking you can’t let anyone else know what we’re worried about… it does more harm than good in the long run.”
Stuff I can’t let anyone else know about, huh…?
I mean, it’d be a real waste of time if all I could tell the others was ‘I got a bag of Doritos.'
“Alright, alright. And just call me Scott.”
“Of course. Why don’t you pick a snack and get comfortable, Scott?”
“So, whenever you’re ready, tell me where it all began.” Dr. Maruki said, pen and clipboard at the ready. Scott fiddled a bit with one of the sticks in the Jagariko he ended up picking out of the snack drawer, thinking.
“Uh… well, I actually need to figure out how to put all this. See, last time I went to therapy, it was for something specific and straightforward. If there were a list of things that aren’t anything like that at all, what I’ve got going on now is pretty close to the top.”
“Oh, this isn’t your first time? Well, I’m in no rush. Take all the time you need to think it through.”
Scott sighed. "Alright."
"Well, I dunno exactly what you know about me already, but I'm sure you can tell," Scott motioned vaguely at himself, "that I'm not from around here. I'd actually never left America before until, well, recently."
Dr. Maruki nodded, thumbing through a few sheets on his clipboard. "Yes, I was actually given a rundown of your circumstances by the school. I know a few things, at the very least."
"Yeah, that sounds about right." Scott grumbled, though he wasn't too mad about it either.
Not like there's much on me in Persona 5 to leak…
“It doesn’t go too far back, if that makes you feel any better.” The therapist smiled apologetically. “The recent move is news to me, actually. I’m very impressed about how quickly you’ve seemed to pick up Japanese, you’re already just as fluent as any native speaker.”
Japanese???
Scott decided not to gift a horse in the mouth. “...Yeah.”
“Still, I imagine a change that sudden and that significant has been difficult for you.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s what I’m here about. I mean, to put the whole thing into a nutshell that you can actually wrap your brain around.”
Dr. Maruki jotted down some notes on the top sheet attached to his clipboard. “And how have you been holding up so far? You’ve been here for about a month, right?”
"Sh*t, I guess I have. And I mean, it was definitely rough at first, but I guess I'm doing okay-ish now? I mean, I still feel like I shouldn't be here in the first place, felt that since the start. At first I wanted to try and worm my way out of this somehow, but then I realized that was never gonna happen, so I guess I'm just gonna… make the most of it?"
For a second, Dr. Maruki’s eyes were wide as saucers, like he'd just heard something no human mouth should be able to pull off. Still, he quickly recomposed himself and continued to write down notes.
Did I say something weird…?
"That’s a good attitude to have! Making lemons into lemonade, am I right?" Dr. Maruki beamed at Scott, looking genuinely happy for him. "Though, may I ask why exactly you feel as if you shouldn't be here?"
"That’s… okay, I'm not going to go into specifics, so I guess just make your own theories about this part if you want."
Dr. Maruki nodded in approval, and waited for Scott to continue.
"I'm here because… somebody decided that something I did, or I guess didn't do, was way more of a huge deal than anyone with any goddamn morals would think. The only reason I'm here in Tokyo and at Shujin is some petty retaliation to that, partly just because it was a dick move and partly 'cause of the fact that it didn't even require a ton of effort to pull off."
The therapist thumbed through his other papers for a moment, nodding. "I think I get what you're saying, and I can see why this is how you're looking at the unfair situation you’re in. But just as some food for thought, you've already befriended Sakamoto-kun and Takamaki-san along with your fellow transfer student, have you not?"
"Uh… I guess I have."
"If you did somehow find a way to, as you said, worm your way out of it, wouldn't that leave your new friends out in the cold? They would have no idea where you went, and I can tell they'd get really worried if something happened to you. I've only really passed your group in the hall, and even I can see how obvious that is."
Hard to be worried when you're not real…
...I definitely can't say that out loud.
"Hey, maybe you're right about that." Scott shrugged.
"Just something to think about. In the end, does it really matter what things are 'supposed' to be? Like you said, you're making the most of this, and you've got friends that have your back. If you ask me, that's much more important than the circumstances behind any of this." He tilted his head to the side a little with a small smirk.
"Man, it is crazy how different you are from the therapist I had before!"
Dr. Maruki jotted something down. "Is that so?"
"Yeah! I would see this guy Dr. Jerry Attricks back in Ohio, definitely a fan of making his points loud and clear, with an emphasis on loud. I mean, turns out he's not actually a licensed therapist per se, but the guy still really helped me out."
"...Sounds like he's quite the character."
"Oh, no kidding, but I couldn't have gotten over those Nintendo games from 2015 without him!"
Dr. Maruki just looked at Scott for a second.
"Come again?"
"Oh yeah, I guess you wouldn't know about that, huh? Well, to make a really long story short, I basically played three really bad Nintendo games from 2015 to prove a point about no developer being perfect. Yeah, pro-tip, don't underestimate a sh*tty game's ability to traumatize you."
He hesitated at Scott’s obvious and clear explanation, before writing down yet another note.
Big notes fan, huh?
"...Well, It's good to hear you were able to work your way through that, Scott. I suppose it makes sense to go to an unusual therapist for an… unusual problem."
"Yeah, it really worked out! I mean, there was a bit where sessions with me were making him crazy, and It just so happened that right when I suppressed everything and had basically forgotten who I was to avoid playing the third game, thinking I was a therapist instead of, y’know, me, he'd put a therapist wanted ad in the local paper… yeah, it was a whole thing." Scott explained, laughing a bit at the end.
"Oh!" Something seemed to click in Dr. Maruki's mind when he heard Scott laugh. "Are you pulling my leg right now? That's certainly one heck of a scenario."
"I know, right? Sounds crazy, but that's what happened! He still came through, made me finish what I started for that sweet, sweet closure. Now he's actually got his own therapy joint called the Think Barrel, it's got a drive-thru and everything!"
And just like that, whatever had clicked together came back apart. At the same time though, he grabbed the napkin in front of him and held it up to his clipboard.
"You don't think Dr. Attricks would mind if I did something with that name? I mean, I'm not going to open an office right when I need to be on duty here, but say I get an opportunity in the future…"
"I don't think he's going to fly over here to fight you about it, if that helps. Too busy with the war against shapes."
Dr. Maruki nodded, writing something on the napkin (which Scott could actually take a guess at this time). "Well, we've been talking for quite a while now. How are you feeling after talking things out like this?"
Scott thought for a second. "Pretty good, actually. Man, you weren't kidding about how much that helps, huh?"
"On the surface, it seems like it wouldn't do all that much, I’ll admit." The therapist gave him another big, warm smile at that. “Even so, thanks so much for giving it a shot, Scott. Feel free to stop by anytime, even just for casual talks."
"Wouldn't that take time away from the other kids here?"
"Well, it's actually been pretty slow around here… I know I only just got here, but I've only seen two other students today. So, maybe stop by, keep me some company, maybe share more anecdotes…"
"Uh, sure?"
"Great! Take it easy, then!"
-EVENING-
"Oh hey, welcome back." Ren greeted Scott as he came up the stairs. He'd taken the train home during the session with Dr. Maruki, and seemingly spent the whole time studying if the empty coffee mug next to him was any indication.
Oh yeah, midterms still aren’t over…
Scott's face fell a little as he realized that, to which his roomate chuckled a little.
"Forgot about exams for a sec, huh?"
"Is it that obvious?"
Ren shrugged. "You've got a really expressive face. Honestly, it'd probably be harder to not see what you're thinking about half the time."
Seriously? Even if I try to hide it?
"Like, right now you're trying to make your face hide how shocked you are."
"Jesus Christ, Ren…"
He smirked, clearly pleased with himself.
Still, Scott was too tired to keep thinking about that, so he just shrugged it off. "Whatever, read my mind all you want. I'm going to bed."
"You aren't going to study at all?"
"Nah, I've got this." He mumbled, hanging his school bag on one of the bunk bed's posts.
Ren furrowed his brow. "...You sure?"
"'Course I’m sure, what're you talking about?"
"Well, it's your funeral." He said with another shrug, and turned back to the desk.
"Gee, thanks buddy..."
Notes:
In case it isn't clear, Dr. Maruki would love to study Scott. In the most polite way of saying that possible, that is.
But yeah, we're finally getting into a bit of Royal territory! That one lil' word in the title's finally coming into play, heheh
I'm going to be sprinkling in Maruki Segments(tm) like this every now and then, so look forward to it! For the very near future though, next week is when the Madarame arc really gets rolling, so I'll see you all then! :)Oh, and thank you so much for 100 kudos?! I have no idea how that happened, but I'm super grateful!!! I'll do my best to keep delivering fun stuff for you all! ^-^
EDIT: I wanted to address a certain comment that I got that I'm also deleting due to Major Persona 4 spoilers in it. As crazy as it is to me, some people are getting into Persona as a result of this fic (and vice versa?? It's Wack). No hard feelings, I just want to make things as beginner-friendly on both ends of the source material! I do appreciate the comment either way, though!
Anyways, yes Scott did mention playing the first 5h or so of P4G on Twitter a while back (I actually started writing this fic before that, and took that tweet as a sign to start posting it hehe), but for now, I'll just say that for this AU, I Do Not See That Tweet. And that's all I will be saying on the matter at this time. :)
Chapter 23: A New Target Appears, Maybe
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/14--
-MORNING-
“...I’m telling you, there’s no way I’m that easy to read! It’s gotta be that thief spidey-sense sh*t you’ve got going on.” Scott insisted to Ren as they walked.
They were on their usual commute to school, making the transfer at Shibuya station. It was just as crowded as always, but it was hard to miss Ryuji’s blonde hair up ahead at the platform.
“Okay, watch this, ‘cause I’m gonna prove it.” He turned and waved. “Hey, Ryuji!”
“Yo…” He responded with a far weaker wave and a yawn.
“Okay, look at me and guess what I’m thinking about.”
“...Huh?”
“Just do it.”
“I mean, sure, if you really want me to.” Ryuji squinted, looking real hard at him. “Uh… you trying to prove somethin’ to Ren?”
Scott’s jaw dropped.
Ryuji snorted. “Dude, have you seen yourself? Of course you’re easy as hell to read.”
While Scott was at a loss for words, he saw Ann approaching the group.
“Morning… man, what I’d give for a mocha right about now…”
“Ann! Thank Christ, a third opinion! Okay, look at my face, guess what I’m thinking.”
She squinted at him. “Are you seriously only figuring out how easy you are to read now? ”
Scott’s smugness shattered, leaving him with a huge now-incredulous grin. “Am I seriously that much of an open book…?”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing! I mean, I don’t think you’d be nearly as funny if you… weren’t…” Ann started in a reassuring voice, but suddenly trailed off.
Ryuji looked at her. “You good, Ann?”
“Umm…” Before really responding, she turned around and tried to get a decent look at the crowd on the platform, as the train finally pulled up.
“Oh shit, we better get in before it fills up!” Ryuji cried, trying to get into the crowd forming where the doors would open.
“Uh, yeah.” She shook her head, trying to shake off whatever was going on. “I’m probably just imagining it, anyways…”
“Nope! Not imagining it!” Ann suddenly cried as she stared down from the escalator out of the Aoyama-Itchome station near Shujin.
“What is it?” Ren asked her from his spot on the escalator.
She shuddered. “There was this guy staring at me at the station, and I thought he was just a run-of-the mill weirdo, but he got off the train right when I did, and that is not a Shujin uniform.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound good.” Scott nodded, looking down and trying to figure out who Ann was talking about.
Ryuji yawned again. “Probably just got off at the wrong station.”
“Wow, Ryuji. Thanks so much for caring.” She deadpanned, scowling at the sleepy blonde.
“Didn’t say I wasn’t gonna do anything.” He said back, starting to walk up the last bit of the escalator. “Come on, I got an idea.”
“I really don’t like this idea, Ryuji!” Ann hissed to the backside of a store’s sign as she stood in the middle of the sidewalk.
“It’ll be fine! Who’s gonna try anything with three whole guys backing you up?” He hissed back.
“Four guys!” Morgana corrected, ever-so-slightly poking his head out of Ren’s bag.
Oh yeah, sorta forgot he was here.
Ann stiffened. “Shut up, here he comes!”
There was a tense silence as Ren kept an eye on this mystery stalker, and the other two guys focused on staying hidden behind the really cramped sign.
“Almost… almost... now!” He signalled to them just like he would when trying to ambush a shadow.
Before this creep could get his hands on his fellow thief, Scott and the others blocked his path.
Scott smirked at the guy. “Ha, busted!”
The one they’d intercepted was f*cking tall. With a build that was somehow even lankier than Scott’s, however, he wasn’t going to have any size advantage going for him if he tried anything. He had no idea what other school uniforms in the area looked like, so the only hint to his identity from that was that he wasn’t from Shujin, and Ann already pointed that out. Whatever the case, he wore a white button-up with a small black logo on one side of the front, and simple-looking black pants. His blue-black hair was long, even going partway down his neck, and it needed to be swept in one side in the front so as not to get in his eyes.
The guy looked at each of them, a little confused. "...Busted? Did I do something wrong?"
Ann scoffed, and shoved her way in front of the guys so she could jab a finger in his direction. "Did you do something wrong?! You've been following me all morning, ya creep!"
"I assure you, I mean you no ill will-" He started, but a black car suddenly pulled over and rolled a window down right next to where they stood.
After a few honks from the driver, an old man in the back seat called out in their direction. "There you are! You worried me, rushing out of the car like that! I'm just glad I didn't lose you there! Found yourself a muse, eh?" He said, addressing tall guy with a smile.
"Just a moment, Sensei." He called back, before turning back in Ann's direction. "I apologize if I worried you. I saw you from my Sensei's car near Shibuya station, and I knew I couldn't just sit there and hope we'd bump into each other again someday. It was difficult to catch up with the thick crowds, however…"
"Umm…"
"You're the one I've been searching for all this time! Please, I humbly request that you be the model for my next art piece!"
“I- huh?!” Ann eked out.
The boy (an artist?) held one hand to his chest as he continued. “My work has always lacked something, a certain fiery passion. But you… you exude the spirit of the passion I’ve always needed!”
“More like ‘I exude an extremely suspicious vibe!’ Who does this guy think he is?!” Morgana yowled from Ren’s bag, but the artist was too laser-focused on Ann to even notice it as a cat’s voice, let alone as a talking one.
“Hold on.” Scott interjected, stepping between the two of them. “Before you keep going with whatever the f*ck this is, can we at least get a name?”
“Yeah, I’d like to know that, too!” Ann shouted.
The artist blinked in surprise, like he’d forgotten Scott was even there. “Of course. I apologize, I seem to have gotten ahead of myself. I am Yusuke Kitagawa, of Kosei High’s second year. The fine arts division, to be specific. I’m studying under Madarame-sensei as well, staying at his residence.”
Ann’s eyes widened. “Wait, Madarame as in the artist featured on Good Morning Japan yesterday?!”
“So you know of him?”
“Who doesn’t?! Isn’t he known internationally for his Japanese-style art?”
Ryuji half-raised his hand. “Uh, I don’t.”
“Yeah, you do. That one guy in Mementos mentioned him.” Scott muttered, trying not to let the guy in the car that was probably Madarame himself hear him.
“Oh shit…” He replied under his breath.
As if on cue, he called out of the car window again. “Yusuke, finish up over there, will you?”
“Of course, Sensei! I’ll be there in a moment.” Yusuke called back, taking something out of his pocket as he turned towards the others. “Madarame-sensei is hosting an exhibition in Shibuya near the station, beginning tomorrow. Please, stop by and tell me if you’d be willing to be a model for me then. I’ll be there.” He gently placed a ticket in Ann’s hand.
That wasn’t his only ticket, though. “I’m sure none of you have any interest in the arts, but if you would really like to come as well, you are welcome to.” Yusuke shoved the other three tickets in Scott’s direction, nowhere near as carefully as he had with Ann.
Welcome kinda sounds like a stretch here…
When he turned back to Ann, his smile returned as quickly as it had disappeared. “I hope I see you tomorrow, then. For now, however, I must be going.”
And with that, Yusuke entered the car Madarame had pulled up in and was gone.
Ryuji crossed his arms. “...Damn. That guy was almost as easy to read as you, Scott.”
“Hey!”
“Are you actually going to go?” Ren asked, finally saying something for the first time in a few minutes.
Ann stared at the ticket in her hand. “I… I think I might? Probably, anyways.”
“Seriously?!” Ryuji looked shocked.
Morgana popped his head out of Ren’s bag again. “Look, that Yusuke character is exceedingly shady, but don’t you guys still have classes to get to?”
“Oh, shit!!!” Ryuji realized, dashing off in the direction of Shujin academy.
Right, classes…
Ren looked at Scott. “Forgot about exams again?”
“You’re the worst.”
“Come on, you know you love me.” He said with a grin.
--5/15--
-DAYTIME-
“Remind me why exactly we’re spending the first Sunday of being freed from testing hell at some stuffy art exhibit?” Ryuji asked the rest of the Phantom Thieves as they stood in line to get into the exhibition space that Yusuke had given them tickets to the previous morning.
Morgana popped out of Ren’s bag. “Because a proper Phantom Thief needs to know the fine arts! You can’t go to all that trouble to steal something that’s not even an original, right?”
“Dude, don’t come out here!” Ryuji hissed at the cat. “You’re gonna get us kicked out!”
“How else am I gonna make sure this Yusuke guy doesn’t try anything with Lady Ann?!”
Ann rolled her eyes. “I can take care of myself, you know. And Ryuji, the tickets were free, remember?”
“We’ll be keeping an eye out for her.” Ren reassured their contraband. “That’d be way harder to do if we’re kicked out for bringing a pet.”
Morgana scowled at Ren’s phrasing. “I’m not your pet-!”
“Yeah, yeah, can we go over this later?” Scott grumbled, pushing Morgana’s head back down into Ren’s bag.
“Ugh, fine! You better not let Lady Ann out of your sight, ya hear?!”
“We won’t.” Ren said, before zipping up the bag.
Ann sighed. “Well, I guess I appreciate the backup…”
“Yeesh… also, we aren’t only here ‘cause of Phantom Thief training, or whatever Morgana was talking about. Right after the target of our first sidequest name-drops a guy, we get invited to an art exhibit of an artist with the name name? No way that’s a coincidence.” Scott pointed out.
Ryuji flicked his forehead in response. “Enough with the sidequest talk, dude.”
“Ow! This again?!”
“He’s got a point, though. Madarame isn’t exactly a common name, there aren’t too many other people Nakanohara could be talking about.” Ren said, putting a hand to his chin in thought.
“Ugh, I guess we can do a quick pass-through, find out more about this guy. Don’t gotta be happy about it, though.”
“That’s the spirit!” Ann said with a jokey grin.
Suddenly, the ticket guy at the front of the line called out “Next!”
Oh sh*t, we’re already at the front?!
Ren adjusted his glasses and smiled. “Let’s do it.”
Notes:
And with that, the Madarame arc is officially underway! This chapter was a blast to write, and so was next week's, so I hope you all enjoy 'em too!
I took quite a few cues from the Art of Box Art vid for this arc, and while Madarame's palace is *very* tricky to write in terms of mechanics, the interactions with the palace's design and symbolism was very cool to write for Scott!
Thanks for reading, and I'll see you next week! :)
Chapter 24: Oh Sh*t, I Just Realized This is the Box Art for Wario World…
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
As soon as they were past ticket check, a familiar face that somehow managed to find them in this huge crowd approached them.
Then again, he's basically a watchtower with feet at that height…
"You're here!" Yusuke greeted Ann with a warm smile, before he saw the rest of the group with her. "You're… all here."
Ryuji gave a half-assed wave. "Yo."
"Contrary to popular belief, I don't hang out on the couch and rip up sh*t I got for free in my off time." Scott deadpanned, but suddenly dropped the sarcasm. "I actually only do that with tax forms!" He said with a cheesy grin.
Yusuke looked at him for a moment, then sighed. "Yes, I suppose that's a good point. I gave you free tickets, so here you are… well, just don't bother the other guests. I'll show, erm…" He turned to Ann as he trailed off, seeming to blank on something. "I don't believe I ever caught your name."
Ryuji stifled a laugh. "Took ya that long before ya thought to ask?"
"I'm Ann Takamaki. And, well, if the pupil of the great Madarame is offering me a tour, I gotta accept that!" She said, sounding excited yet nervous.
Yusuke gave her another warm smile. "Of course, follow me."
Once he had turned away, Ann quickly whipped back around and wordlessly signalled to the others, first holding each of her hands around one eye to create something similar to the image of someone holding binoculars, and then pointing at herself before she finally followed Yusuke before he could notice her hesitation.
In a nutshell, she was saying "watch out for me."
Ren gave her a thumbs up just in time for her to see it before they were both gone.
"Okay, what’s the game plan here?" Ryuji asked, turning to Ren.
"I guess we just try to look at art while we keep an eye out for Ann? I mean, we did get free tickets, plus we'd look pretty suspicious if we didn't."
"Guess you're right… where the hell do we start?"
Scott wasn’t an expert in art theory by any means, but he wasn't anywhere near clueless, either. In the realm of video game box art, he could critique with the best of 'em. The stuff here didn't have a set game they were made to convey, so it was a bit harder to really read these paintings, but he was managing.
The landscape he'd been drawn to, hung in a corner of the exhibit space, was nothing less than an explosion of color and intent. It was odd, so many of the pieces here felt off to him for some reason. He couldn’t quite figure out why, but Scott was sure he’d felt it before. Something felt… empty, in a good number of these pieces. But in a corner of the exhibition space there hung a painting that had none of that.
Hold on, does the plaque say anything about it?
"Piece 42 - Oil on canvas
A tranquil senset filled with just as much warmth as the colors used."
Scott frowned.
Tranquil? For this piece? There's no f*cking way that’s what it’s supposed to be. Actually, where’s the title? Isn't fine art supposed to be all about that symbolic sh*t?
"Scott! You wanted to see this one, too?" Ann's voice suddenly greeted him.
When he turned around, sure enough Ann was there, with Yusuke following close behind.
"I saw it on Good Morning Japan, when they were interviewing Madarame! Amazing, right?"
Scott nodded. "Yeah, it's crazy good. Definitely sticks out more than anything else here, what’s it doing in this tiny corner?"
"I…" Yusuke started, before suddenly shaking his head and clearing his throat. "There are many and far more striking pieces at this exhibit, why on Earth are you interested in this one?"
Scott looked back at the painting. "How do I put it… there's this sense of tenseness to it. The way there's this explosion of movement centered on the sun in the back there, plus all the reds and oranges here, it's like a f*ckton of just pure emotion coming off this thing in waves, y'know? And like, it's a landscape, yeah. But this is the sorta landscape you'd see a character's reaction in as everything they know and love is suddenly stripped away from them."
Neither Ann or Yusuke said anything to that. When Scott turned back to them, they were staring at him, jaws dropped, like he'd grown a second head while he was talking.
"...What?"
Ann was the first one to compose herself. "Wow, that was… is Scott Wozniak secretly some expert undercover art critic?!"
"Quite, that was… remarkable. I didn’t think you were the type to have an eye for art like that."
Scott shrugged. "When you make a hobby out of not shutting the f*ck up, I guess you just figure out how to say stuff."
Yusuke hesitated for a moment, looking past Scott and furrowing his brow at the painting.
Well, that's not suspicious at all.
Clearly, Ann had noticed too. "You alright, Kitagawa-kun? You look like you just saw a ghost…"
He tore his eyes away from the bright canvas. "My sincerest apologies, Wozniak-kun. I obviously underestimated you."
"Just call me Scott."
Yusuke looked surprised. "By your first name? We’ve only just met…"
"Oh! 'Cause that's how you're used to things back in America?" Ann guessed.
"Well, if you insist, Scott. I suppose Wozniak is a bit of a mouthful, in any case."
"Ha, wait ‘till you hear my middle name."
“Hey! Madarame’s kid, right?” Somebody that wore a nametag with the venue’s logo approached them. “The old guy’s gettin’ ready for the TV interview, could you gimmie a hand with this stuff?”
Yusuke quickly tried to shake off whatever he had been feeling just a moment ago, and began to rush to the man’s aid. “O-of course, one moment!”
He’s not doing a great job of it…
“What was all that about…?” Ann asked.
Scott shrugged. “No idea, but we’ve got bigger sh*t to worry about.”
“Wait, what?” She turned a concerned look towards Scott.
“If I get into that crowd at the right angle, I could be as seen on TV a second time and officially be 50% closer to being okay with death!”
“...Right. I got so distracted by Kitagawa-kun's weirdness, I forgot just how much weirder you are for a sec.”
“Seriously?! The interview hasn’t even started yet!” Scott exclaimed, trying to stand up enough on the tips of his toes to let at least the top of his head get in the cameraman’s field of view.
Ren, who had seen Scott and decided to regroup with him, shrugged. “I guess that’s what happens when you try to get in the background of a guy who was just on Good Morning Japan. Who knows how many new fans that got him?”
“Bet that Yusuke guy could get in frame no problem, dude’s a freakin’ beanpole.” Grumbled Ryuji.
Ann snickered. “Seriously? You too?”
“Shh, it’s starting!”
“...We’re here at the grand opening of Ichiryusai Madarame’s latest exhibition, right here in Shibuya. Now, I’m sure everybody’s dying to know the answer to our first question. Madarame, your work is so expansive, capturing so many styles and techniques, how on Earth do you manage to do it?”
The woman leading the interview tilted her mic towards the same elderly man as the one in the car the previous day, with the same grey hair tied into a low-hanging bun, and dressed in traditional yet modest-looking Japanese clothes (though Scott admittedly wasn’t an expert on what could be considered ‘modest’ around here, the light olive green robe over everything was certainly well-loved, to put it nicely).
He gave the interviewer a kind smile. “Well, putting the will of an artist into words is difficult. For some, that's the reason they paint in the first place. But I suppose I can, at the very least, try.”
“However you’d like to say it, we’d love to hear it!”
“It’s something that comes naturally to me, much like the four seasons. They are vastly different, yet they coexist in harmony, much like my work.”
“Do you have a method to it at all?”
“The whims of the muses take me where they must, but I can say that it is important to distance oneself from materialistic desires. Do that, and the spirit of beauty will be allowed to wander freely within your work.”
She nodded. “I see, I see! By getting rid of the world’s clutter in your mind, you create room for artistic possibility, is that correct?”
Madarame nodded. “Precisely, I’m not an artist after luxury and fame. For example, while my atelier may be considered a ‘drab shack’ by some, it is more than enough to pursue my passion.”
“Wait, a shack?” Ryuji started muttering to himself. “Wasn’t that in-”
“SHH!” Some woman in the crowd near him shushed him, ironically louder than the noise Ryuji was making in the first place.
The interviewer continued. “There you have it, folks! It’s hard to believe that a world-famous artist like the one and only Madarame would live in a mere shack, but that seems to be the truth! Who would’ve thought, right?”
“Guys, group huddle, I think I just figured somethin’ out.” Ryuji murmured to the rest of the team, shooting a glare at the lady that had shushed him that said ‘hold your damn horses.’
Ren and Scott shared a glance, before following Ryuji as they awkwardly shoved themselves through the crowd that had somehow gotten even thicker during the course of the interview.
“I think I almost f*cking drowned in there…” Scott gasped, along with the other two guys (and cat) that made it out of the sea of people alive. “After all that, you better have something on the level of Resident Evil PSP finally coming out!”
Ryuji smirked confidently. “No goddamn clue what that is, but I’ve got somethin’ good. Hold on, lemme pull it up…”
It was easy to see where he was searching from where Scott was leaning against the railing on the window, especially since Ryuji was sitting on the floor and holding his phone at a very convenient snooping angle. “Is that the fansite?”
“Uh, yeah, have you not been checking it?”
“I mean, last I checked, it was all anon hate. I mean, maybe there’s a few useful submissions in there somewhere, but most of it’s like the one I saw that said, and I quote, ‘fake and gyaaaay.’”
“Well, get ready for a real good submission. I saw this before we even knew who Madarame was, but then he said he lived in a shack, and it hit me all at once! Alright everyone, get ready for- hold on, where’s Ann?”
“YOU LOST ANN?!” Morgana yowled, his head bursting out of the top of Ren’s bag like a fuzzy geyser.
“Come on, us getting out of there alive was already damn lucky!”
“This is Ann we’re talking about, remember?” Ren pointed out. “I dunno if that’s gonna matter for long once she finds us again…”
Oh Sh*t.
Scott pointed in the direction of the exhibit. “Uh, guys?”
“Did you guys seriously just ditch me?!” Ann shouted at them.
Ren straightened up. “Well, I realized something and called a group huddle, but we couldn't really see each other through all those people, and we thought you heard me, so-”
“It was Ryuji, actually.” Morgana interrupted.
The group huddle-caller jumped at hearing his name. “Morgana, what the hell?! Uh, I’ve got intel! That’s good, right???”
Ann squeezed her eyes shut and took a deep breath. “Fine. What is it.”
After a sizeable sigh of relief, Ryuji got serious. “Okay, with everything we know about Madarame so far, there’s a real good chance this post’s about him.”
“Really? You’re sure?” Ren asked, tilting his head to the side a bit.
“Yeah, enough lines up for it to be damn near certain. Listen to this.”
-Submitted by Anon on May 10th, 2016-
A certain well-known figure in Japanese art, in truth, is nothing more than the carefully-crafted public face he shows on television. The real man behind this deception plagiarizes the work of his pupils, taking their originals and passing them off as his own. In addition to this, the pupils he houses in his shack are treated terribly. Rather than teaching, this master bosses them around, pressuring them to make more work that he can steal. And even then, no matter what is done in an attempt to please him, they are treated inhumanely. That is, until the moment he is seen in public, where the performative smile takes up residence on his face once more.
“Whoa, this guy’s eloquent.” Ann mumbled, looking like she was still processing the post.
Ren put a hand to his chin. “Well-known Japanese artist that has appeared on television, in a shack, with a convincing smile… this could be something.”
Scott’s eyes widened. “Holy sh*t, of course! I knew I wasn’t just some feeling I was pulling out of my ass!”
“What do you mean?”
“So a ton of the pieces in there felt like they were missing something, right? Something I couldn’t really figure out until now, but it’s the same vibe as all the box art on games these days that’s all cooked up by business guys, just to make sh*t as marketable as possible!”
“Hold on, where are you going with this?” Ann asked.
“Assuming that post’s real, a ton of the art in there was made ‘cause Madarame was making his pupils flesh out his exhibits, right? Just like all those ‘white guy with gun walking towards the viewer’ covers, the paintings in there aren’t something an artist wanted to make, they were made to! And it doesn’t even sound like these guys are getting paid, either!”
“Wait, since when are you an expert in art shit?” Ryuji raised an eyebrow.
“No, he’s probably onto something! You guys should have seen him at that bright painting in the corner, he even impressed Kitagawa-kun with his analysis!”
“Hold on, with how he reacted… Yusuke must have painted that one!” Scott realized. “Look, I don’t know sh*t about paintings that aren’t wrapped around a video game, but I’m pretty sure piece descriptions don’t usually say the complete opposite of what the piece obviously conveys, right? There wasn’t even a title that was totally literal, like, I dunno, sun f*cking explodes, it was just ‘Piece 42!’ A piece that emotional, the actual artist could write out damn pages about it, and that’s why it’s so short! It’s not Madarame’s art at all, it’s his!”
“While this does all seem to line up far too well to just be a coincidence, this is all circumstantial stuff. We need to be absolutely sure about what Madarame’s doing before we make any sort of move.” Morgana mewed up at Scott.
Ryuji frowned. "Well, I dunno about you guys, but I got no clue how to hunt down a not-shadow with just a name to go on. So askin' Nakanohara's probably out."
Ren put a hand to his chin. "In that case, that Kitagawa-kun is likely the one we should be talking to, then. He lives under Madarame's roof, and if this all does end up being true, he could be in need of help."
"How are we gonna do that, though? It's not like we know where this shack is, and not much I can think of that'd help us find it, either." He furrowed his brow, frustrated at the lack of a clear road forward.
Ann’s eyes lit up. "Oh, guys! After the interview, guess who came up to me and gave me his contact info and address, so I could tell him my verdict on the modeling offer?"
"Wait, for real?! Good goin' there, Ann! We'll go there after school, get this guy to talk to us, and boom! We got our plan for Madarame!"
"W-wait, you guys are gonna make me model tomorrow?! That's way too sudden!"
"What? No, I was thinkin' more like, you scoping the place out before you committed to anything."
"Oh. Well, I guess that works, then."
Notes:
Art of Box Art is now one of my favorite episodes solely thanks to how I get to write Scott in this arc. Likewise, this is one of my favorite chapters of the arc.
You've still got chapters I'm really proud of ahead though, don't worry! :)
See you all next week!
Chapter 25: The Public Face of Ichiryusai Madarame
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/16--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
Scott let out a huff as he stepped out of classroom 2-D. Ren wasn’t there, he’d dashed off as soon as class was over and before Scott could even get his sh*t together. Now he was walking down the hallway on his own, heading for the vending machines in the courtyard that they’d agreed to meet up at.
Something about checking on something important before we head over to Yusuke’s? Eh, at least it’s a break from being joined at the hip with that guy. Ren’s cool and all, but I dunno how Jeb does it…
“Excuse me.”
Jeb… back in Ohio. Ugh, keep your head in the literal f*cking game, Scott! Getting all sappy isn’t gonna help anything!
“Wozniak-kun, I presume?”
His line of thought snapped, and he was brought back to Earth upon hearing someone say his name. There was a girl standing right in front of him that he probably would have run right into if he’d been walking for just a few more seconds.
“Huh?”
“Seems you’re taking your studies at least somewhat seriously.” She stated.
The girl was making direct eye contact with him, or more accurately, stared like she was trying to look directly into his brain for something. Her abnormal brown-yet-deep-red eye color was not helping, and neither was her rigid and official-sounding tone of voice.
Scott stared right back, albeit in puzzlement instead of… whatever you could call this. “...Do I know you?”
“I suppose not. Makoto Niijima, student council president. You’re not in a hurry, are you?”
Scott hesitated.
I mean, Ren’s gonna be late to the meeting anyways, so…
“Uh, I guess not. Why, do you want something from me?”
“Oh, just trying to make sure you feel welcomed here at Shujin Academy, despite any criminal record you may have.”
Now Scott was even more confused. Why would she wait a whole-ass month to check on something like that?
“Uh… thanks??”
Makoto continued. This was starting to sound more like an interrogation than an actual attempt at conversation.
“Sure is a shame the details on that were leaked, isn’t it? If I’m understanding the situation correctly, hadn’t Kamoshida forced one of the students on his team to spread it around? You must have been pretty mad about that.”
“...Do you start all of your conversations like this?” Scott asked.
She ignored that remark. “And not only have you been hanging around with your fellow criminal transfer, but two of the known victims of Kamoshida’s actions, specifically Sakamoto and Takamaki. In fact, it was all right when that mysterious ‘calling card’ was posted in the entrance and Kamoshida was turning himself in all of a sudden, wasn’t it?”
Oh sh*t.
Scott now realized this Makoto reminded him of someone. Liza Lotts, real lawyer of the cop and serial killer Officer Steel Wool, who had a very intense ‘questioning tone’ that sounded much like what Scott was hearing now. She was even not-so-subtly dropping details that could incriminate Scott if he said the wrong thing in response.
I don’t have friends with ties to the Supreme Court to back me up this time, though. I’m gonna need to be really careful about this.
“Me and Ren are in the same class, our desks are right next to each other, and we both transferred here at the exact same time. How could we not get to know each other?”
“Still, you two with the other centers of gossip at this school… it’s quite an interesting combination.”
Scott tried not to let on too much as those damn red eyes stared him down.
Okay, I can do this. I won the case against Steel Wool, I can win… whatever the hell this is just as easily.
“Yeah, seems really suspicious for a not-suspicious guy, right?”
She looked almost taken aback by that.
“...That was the worst thing I could have said there, wasn't it.”
Straightening herself back up and clearing her throat, Makoto made her closing arguments.
“Well, I suppose the truth of the matter will make itself clear over time. After all, I am responsible for finding out the ones behind the recent calling card prank, especially after all the anxiety this incident has stirred up. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
Despite her phrasing, she didn't wait for an answer before she excused herself. Halfway down the hallway, she turned back towards Scott.
“Oh and, I’m sure there’s no need for you to hear this, but the rooftop will be locked for all students who don’t have express permission to use it. Just so you’re aware.”
And with that, she casually made her way up the stairs to the third floor.
…
That… probably isn’t good.
"Wait, what does the student council president even want with you?" Asked Ryuji, as the whole group made their way down Central Street.
Ren looked up from his (normal) navigation app. "Whatever it is, I doubt it's anything good."
Madarame’s shack was in the general area near Shibuya, which made sense for a rich and famous artist. However, it seemed to be pretty out of the way when Scott had managed to catch a glimpse of Ren’s phone as he put in the address Ann had gotten from Yusuke the other day. They were going to be walking for a few minutes, and his run-in with Makoto earlier was really bugging him. He might as well talk about it while they had a second.
"She said she was looking into the 'calling card prank,' trying to find out who did it." Scott shrugged. "If you ask me, that whole exchange reeked of foreshadowing."
Ryuji winced. "Oh, shit. That's real bad."
"Let me guess, she's really smart and could screw us over if we don't play our cards right."
Ann nodded. "She's always got some of the highest test scores in the school, and she takes her work as student council president really seriously. One time, she launched a full-scale investigation 'cause a cigarette butt was found on school grounds."
"Of course she did."
"It would be a good idea to strategize how we'll handle her when we have a spare moment. That'll have to come later, though." Ren stopped walking, and looked up at a building in front of them. "This is it."
Jesus, that definitely is a shack.
The place they'd ended up at looked like it would fall apart if it got with even the slightest of breezes. The entire two-story building was held together by panels of rusted metal sheets, topped with a light blue tin roof that clashed horribly with the terrible-looking walls. It really looked right at home in something like a Fallout game, or some FPS with a severe case of early 2010 browns.
"You're sure this is the place?" Ryuji asked, giving Ren a skeptical look.
"Yeah, I'm sure. It even says Madarame right on the nameplate."
Scott turned his gaze to what Ren was pointing at, a small metal sheet that wasn’t part of the wall. Sure enough, the word that popped into his head as he looked at the characters was the name Madarame.
Morgana popped his head out of Ren’s bag. “Lady Ann, I'll entrust ringing the doorbell to you. We’re goin’ in.”
Ann's eyes widened. "Wait, me?! I mean, yeah, he wants me to model for him, but I can't do that if this whole place collapses on top of me 'cause I pushed a button too hard!"
"Don’t worry, we'll be backing you up." Ren smiled.
Ann sighed. "I don't have much of a choice, do I…?"
As the guys followed close behind her, she shuffled her way towards the shack. While she seemed to be wondering if just her being near it could make it topple over, Ann took a deep breath.
"Here goes nothing…"
She slowly pressed the doorbell's button, and immediately jerked her hand back when they could hear it had chimed somewhere inside.
The sh*tty speaker below the bell crackled to life, and Yusuke’s voice came through.
"Yes? If you're here to speak with Madarame, I'm afraid he's currently-"
"No, no, It's just me! Erm, 'me' being Takamaki."
"O-of course, I'll be right out!"
Scott frowned. "So there seriously are real artists living here...?"
Suddenly, the shack's sliding door flew open, revealing Yusuke on the other side. "Takamaki-san--"
He cut himself off, looking between the three guys behind her. "I see you brought Scott with you. As well as… these two."
Ryuji gave him a sarcastic grin. "'Sup?"
"Hey!" Scott said with a slightly less sarcastic grin.
Ann spoke before any of the guys. "Sorry, but I'm not really here to accept your modeling offer just yet. We actually wanted to ask you a few questions first…"
Yusuke looked at her in puzzlement. "Questions?"
Ryuji took a step forward before Ann could keep going. "Yeah. We wanna know if it's true that Madarame steals shit from his students so he can say it's his. We also wanted to ask if he's abusing y-- Ow! The hell, Ren?!"
Ren, quickly realizing just how well this was going to go over, had smacked him on the back of the head before he could finish.
Yusuke shot him a glare that could cut steel. "I can't believe this. You're serious?"
Ryuji sent back a glare of his own. "Yeah. We read about it online."
Scott thought he saw Yusuke looking like his eyes were about to pop out of his head from panic for a moment there. But, as quickly as that shock appeared, it disappeared.
"You- you came all the way to ask me something based on that alone?!"
Yusuke burst into laughter.
"He's not joking." Ren stated.
He managed to calm himself down enough to speak again, though it took a while. "But that is absolutely ridiculous! An artist as legendary as my sensei has no need to plagiarize, and your allegations of abuse?!"
Scott sighed. "Look, Yusuke. You were saying earlier you were impressed by my 'eye for art?' Because as I was looking through the pieces of that exhibit, most of them felt off somehow. I don’t really know what it is, but I can tell you the sh*t feeling of knowing you're just gonna get your work snatched away and exploited by someone else definitely fits the bill."
For a moment, Yusuke looked like he'd been stabbed in the heart by Scott’s words. He shook it off quickly, however, and an expression of pure rage took its place.
"Madarame accepts his pupils into his home so that they may pursue beauty with a roof over their heads! When my parents had both passed away when I was a mere child, Madarame was the one who took me in, and you have the audacity to come here and ask me if the man I owe my life to is treating me inhumanely?! My Sensei does what he does out of charity, so don't you dare speak about my master like that ever again, or I will-"
"Yusuke?" Another voice from the door cut him off. "What's the ruckus all about? Everything alright out here?"
The artist jerked himself back from tearing into Ryuji, and whipped around to look into the entrance of the shack.
"S-sensei!"
Sure enough, there was Madarame. Showing a concerned smile that seemed to calm Yusuke down, he straightened himself up.
"Sensei, these three are here with baseless, slandering rumors. I simply could not stand to hear-"
"Oh, there's no need for that."
"H-huh?" The pupil looked shocked by his teacher’s words.
"I'm a cranky old man, of course not everybody in the world likes me. In fact, what I see here is a group of new friends who happened to hear some lie getting spread around, and came because they were concerned for your wellbeing. More than anything else, I'd say that's admirable."
"Of course, Sensei. That's… you're right." Yusuke took a deep breath, before turning around and giving the group a deep bow. "I let my emotions get the better of me once again, and I am deeply sorry for that. I should have considered where your questioning may have been coming from before shouting at you all."
Madarame smiled. "I do appreciate the sentiment of you sticking up for me, though. I'll get out of you kids' hair, if you’ll excuse me."
And with that, he turned around and headed back inside the shack.
Seeming to realize something, Yusuke pulled his phone out of his pocket. "Perhaps this will convince you of my Sensei's authenticity. This is his best-known piece, entitled 'Sayuri.' It's also the reason why I became an artist in the first place. Unfortunately, it is no longer possible to see its grace in person... the original piece was stolen sometime in the past. But, hopefully this will suffice in showing you that he is truly an amazing artist."
When the student flipped his phone around to show the others the image on the screen, Scott’s eyebrows flew up.
Damn…
The piece was a traditional Japanese-style portrait of a woman. A hazy backdrop with a halo of light in the center framed the subject, who was looking down at… something. If there was something else she could be looking at aside from her red dress and the black hair that draped over her shoulder, it was obscured by purple fog.
The way she was looking at whatever it was, however, was the real star of the show here. The expression on her face… it was subtle, but it exuded… actually, what the f*ck did it exude? It exuded a lot of it, in any case.
Seems like he wasn’t the only one.
“Holy shit…” Ryuji mumbled in amazement.
Ren nodded, seeming to be unable to find the right words to use.
“It’s beautiful…” Ann breathed out.
Chuckling at their reaction, Yusuke put his phone away. “Precisely. In fact, when I first saw you that day, I was hit with the very same emotion I always feel when seeing this painting. That’s why I simply needed to catch up to you.”
She blinked. “Wait, me?”
“Yes. That’s why I would be eternally grateful if you were to model for me. If I may finally be able to achieve even a fraction of the beauty in the piece that made me who I am today…”
He took another deep bow.
“...I would be eternally indebted to you, Takamaki-san.”
Ann struggled to find the words she could respond to that with. “W-wow, that’s… some really big praise, I…”
“No need to come to a decision at this very moment. As much as I would love to get straight to work on this, I do have matters that I must assist Sensei with. I am sorry you came all this way for naught.”
“N-no, it’s fine! I’ll keep in touch!”
“That's wonderful, though I should really get back to Sensei for now. Let me know what your final decision is, will you?”
With an apologetic smile, Yusuke stepped back into the shack and slid the door closed.
“Okay, I’m just gonna get this out there. Those two seemed really chill, right?” Ryuji said, crossing his arms as he leaned on a section of railing by the sidewalk.
Ren nodded. “Maybe the Madarame that was mentioned in Mementos is somebody else entirely?”
Scott thought he heard a soft ping sound from somewhere.
Huh…?
“Seriously? This better not end as a one-hit-wonder...” Complained Morgana, perched on the railing near Ryuji.
Scott furrowed his brow. “I dunno… there’s a good chance we’re getting red herring’d, but this guy still doesn’t totally add up to me.”
“What do you mean?” Ren asked, tilting his head a bit toward him.
“I don’t get how the f*ck an artist could willingly live here, for one! I mean, there’s gotta be other options for cheaper housing around here, but he lives in this shack that’s breaking the laws of rust physics with just how much of it there is? Clearly nobody's even tried to spruce it up, it’s like he’s here to scream ‘I’m totally super humble, I swear’ from the rooftops!”
Another ping sounded. Scott started looking around him for the source.
The hell…? There it is again!
Ryuji looked up at the shack again. “Yeah, I’m no expert on any of this fine art shit, but it seems weird to ‘pursue beauty’ in a place that’s ugly as hell. Like lookin’ for clothes in the soup store, y’know?”
Ren hummed. “It’s nothing solid, but you may be onto something.”
“Oh, weren’t you saying something earlier about the exhibit feeling off to you, Scott?” Ann asked.
“Yeah, so much of the stuff there had this weird hollow vibe going on, like it was made just to exist, y’know? That, and the way this guy’s got so many styles going on is suspicious as hell. I mean, it’s not as obvious as the stolen assets from in a ton of NES box art, but it feels way too varied for me to not wonder if it’s plagiarism!”
A third ping.
“Damn, Scott! You’re real popular all of a sudden! Ryuji said with a grin.
“...What the f*ck are you talking about?”
“Your phone’s making some weird dingin’ noise! Text notifs, right?”
Wait, was that where that sound was coming from?
Scott got his phone out of his pocket, only to find it wasn’t even locked. At some point it had turned on by itself, which would be fairly normal on its own, but what the screen was open on officially made the situation weird as hell.
“Hey Ren, you said I might be onto something?”
He turned around his phone and revealed the half-set Metaverse Navigator to the others.
“Whoa, what?!” Ryuji bolted back upright from his leaning position.
Ann gasped. “Wait, Madarame actually does have a palace?! But he’s just a little old guy!”
“Seems he’s more than just that, if this is any indication.” Ren said, taking a closer look at the keywords. “Madarame, shack, plagiarism… looks like the app was picking up our conversation.”
“Now this is getting interesting!” Morgana mewed. “All we’re missing is what he sees this place as due to his distorted desires!”
Ryuji narrowed his eyes. “What, like how Kamoshida had a castle?”
“No candidates found.”
“Looks like it’s something different this time around. Morgana, how are we supposed to find this last keyword?” Ren turned to the cat perched on the railing.
“That’s one you guys are on your own with. You’ll need to throw around guesses till you find the right one.”
“Sounds like it’ll take a while…”
“Well then, we better get started!” Ryuji cracked his knuckles. “Okay, let’s start with… a prison?”
“No candidates found.”
“What about a jail?”
“No candidates found.”
“Farm?!”
“No candidates found.”
Scott sighed and turned his phone back towards himself. “This is embarrassing to watch… it’s a dungeon based around an artist, it’s obviously gonna be a gallery or a museum!”
Scott’s phone ping ed one last time, accepting the final keyword.
“Beginning navigation.”
Notes:
Yeah, Makoto and Scott interactions down the line will likely be Very Funny to say the least, hehe...
Next time, we're taking the first peek into Madarame's palace! See yall next week! :)
Chapter 26: A Look Behind the Curtain
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
After the world around them rippled in the usual way (or about as usual as you could get with a smartphone app that puts you in a completely different reality), the view they were left with was… definitely different, to say the least.
The sky was a deep navy blue, with the occasional wispy cloud which, despite being far up in the sky, seemed to swirl around the centerpiece of Madarame’s cognition. Centerpiece was severely understating it, actually. The neighborhood that had been around the shack on the other side was completely missing, so that there could be space for the massive line of cognitive beings leading up to the equally massive museum building.
"This is how he views that shack…?" Panther muttered, sounding almost skeptical.
And Duel couldn't blame her. This museum was the polar opposite of that rust-covered shack, which almost seemed to brag about how sh*tty it was.
No, this place was swanky as all hell, and it made damn sure you knew it. Nearly every inch of the rectangular sections that made up this place was covered in gold that was engraved with intricate, swooping designs, which really made it glow under the spotlights shining up onto it. Actually, it glowed a little too much. Even through the color-tinted lenses of his mask, Duel had to squint just so he could see the place without blinding himself. Any part that wasn't gold (which wasn't much) was either a tiny window, or the blue and white checkerboard brickwork that surrounded the museum's main entrance.
Skull blinked at the massive disorderly line. "Shit, how long's it gonna take just to get in here?"
"Not that long. Remember, the Phantom Thieves don't use the front door?" Mona raised a (now large, mascot-like) eyebrow at him.
"Oh. Yeah."
Summoning his whackin' cane, Duel pointed something out. "We’re getting in through there, right?"
The (also golden) wall surrounding the museum was designed to alternate in height, creating a wave of rectangular sections. Even at the lower sections it was too high to jump over with their enhanced Metaverse movement, but a truck with a large container also covered in intricate golden designs was sitting just under a dip that could be easily crossed from the top of the truck.
“Looks the perfect way in to me. Nice catch, Duel.” Joker said with a smile.
“Plus, all the guards are gonna be busy with this huge line right about now! Perfect timing for an infiltration.” Mona chimed in.
Panther tilted her head to one side. “Why a museum, though? What could that have to do with abuse or plagiarism?”
“How should I know?” Duel shrugged. “We’re here to find that out, right? So let’s get going already!”
“Alright, rope’s secure. Everybody good to go?” Mona asked, dusting off his paws after finishing the knot tying their way out to a nearby pipe.
Joker nodded. “Yeah.”
“This is our first real target, of course I’m ready!” Skull grinned.
“Let’s go find out what Madarame’s really like.” Added Panther.
Duel peered down through the open window that would serve as their infiltration point this time. It wasn’t that far of a drop thanks to the room below having a raised section, and there didn’t seem to be any shadows ready to catch them as soon as they got in, either.
He took a deep breath.
“I guess I’m about as ready as I’ll ever be for this sh*t.”
When Duel looked back up, Joker was looking at the rest of the Phantom Thieves with a mischievous grin on his face.
“Alright team, let’s do it.”
The first thing Duel noticed when his shoes hit the ground was just how quiet this place was. Now that there were thick walls between them and the crowd outside, which was one of the only sources of real sound here so far, his surroundings were just… eerily silent.
“Whoa, look at the paintings!” Ryuji exclaimed, cutting through the silence like a saw through a wet game.
The framed canvases on the walls were portraits, each and every one. Even in just this room there were a plethora of paintings of men and women, young and old. No two portraits were of the same person, either. Skull probably wasn't pointing that out, though. No, he was most likely talking about how the paintings all wavered in an unsettling manner, like a half-forgotten memory put on display. The effect was definitely stronger because of the fact that none of these paintings had faces. They almost did, but what stared back of them was closer to a foundation of a full face than it was to the real thing.
"This is the Metaverse, it only makes sense that something like this would be possible." Mona mewed back to Skull.
"I mean, yeah, but especially weird stuff like this is probably weird for a reason, yeah?"
Joker walked towards one of the portraits. "Let’s take a closer look, then. This one says… Yamamura, age 25."
"Wait, is that all it says?" Panther asked. "There’s no title or description?"
"Nope, just a name and an age. I'm no expert here, but that seems off to me."
"I mean, this is supposed to be Madarame’s museum, right? Wouldn't these all be by him?" Wondered Duel, getting closer to another one of the portraits. "Azuma Natsumi, age 15. This one's got a full name, at least."
"The hell does that mean?" Skull crossed his arms, impressively deep in thought by his standards.
"Well, we aren’t going to figure out much by stalling in here. Come on, maybe we'll figure something out in the rooms ahead." Mona suggested, already making his way to the entrance of a larger gallery.
Stalling...? But we’re standing.
Joker nodded, and walked over into the next room over as well. As Duel and the other two Phantom Thieves followed, he made note of any other paintings with plaques he came across. Strangely, many of the pieces here just totally lacked any sort of description, not even some vague sh*t like everything else Madarame displayed at his real exhibit.
"Nakao Meiko, age 20."
"Yasuo, age 23."
"Fujioka Keiji, age 17."
So they're all pretty young, looks like…
Panther was taking in more of the room as a whole, rather than just looking at plaques. "There’s so many of them…"
"Yeah, what could this even represent?" Muttered Skull. "I mean, don’t seem to have anything to do with plagiarism or abuse… eugh, I do not like the way that one's lookin' at me."
"With how young most of these guys are, maybe they're all..." Duel had started, but trailed off when the group passed into another room with a more lopsided entrance.
Up on the wall directly ahead of them was a huge portrait of Natsuhiko Nakanohara. This one actually had a face, but it seemed to waver more than the rest of the piece did.
Skull looked up at it, even more confused than he was a moment ago. "Yo, it's the guy who was shit talkin' Madarame back in mementos! Nakanohara, right?"
"Natsuhiko Nakanohara, age 24." Joker read aloud. "It’s him, alright."
"Guys, over here!" Panther called from further down. "It’s him!"
"Huh? It's who?" Skull asked, before looking to where she was pointing.
"Ah, shit."
"Yusuke Kitagawa, age 16."
This one was the most defined painting here by far. Up in that decorative frame, Yusuke’s image smiled down at them with vibrant colors and a relaxed pose. His face was completely solid, and only the background behind him seemed to waver at all.
Duel nodded. "Okay, I think I got it. These have to be portraits of the old guy’s students, right?"
"Huh? But ain't Yusuke the only one?"
Joker put a hand to his chin. "If that's the case, maybe it's including past students of his. But why do they all appear like this…?"
"Even then, there's so many paintings here. Can one guy seriously teach this many students in one lifetime?" Asked Panther.
“It’s not like we’re gonna figure that out by standing around here! Seriously, let’s keep going!” Mona complained.
“Yo, sorry for the holdup, found us a brochure-slash-map- the hell is that?” Duel cut himself off when he saw the huge sculpture extending into the air of the next large room they’d found.
He hadn’t been too far behind the Phantom Thieves, but of course the one time he’d noticed something the others hadn’t and hung back to check it out, he was late at seeing the next big clue to show up.
The sculpture was huge and extravagant, a dazzling golden whirlpool that reached high into the already impressively-sized space. Caught between the swirling beams of metal were countless other forms, human in shape. They weren’t alive, but the despair they all displayed with their far more dull metal features meant they might as well have been.
“Read the plaque.” Skull said through gritted teeth. Not directed towards Duel, but to whatever the hell was written about that sculpture that could piss him off that much.
So something at least mildly annoying, knowing him.
Duel stepped forward to get a closer look.
“-The Infinite Spring-
A conglomerate work of art that the great director Madarame created with his own funds.
These individuals must offer their ideas to the director for the rest of their lives.
Those who cannot do so have no worth living.”
“Okay, that’s just a little f*cked up.” He deadpanned.
“This has to be about plagiarism, right?” Asked Panther, still taking in what she was seeing.
Joker nodded. “If I’m reading this right, he sees his pupils as nothing more than a stepstool to money and fame.”
“So he’s a goddamn phony, is what you’re saying!” Shouted Skull, stomping one foot in frustration. “He always goes on about the ‘pursuit of beauty’ or whatever, usin’ all that flowery bullshit just to hide all this! How the hell could someone like that be an artist?!”
“Easy, it’s ‘cause he isn’t one.” Duel stated. “At this point, I’d be surprised if any of the works with the name Madarame on it are his.”
“Slow down there, Duel. This palace may make one hell of a case against him, but there’s still a ton of things about him we don’t know.” Said Mona.
Skull whipped his head around to face the cat. “What else is there to know?! I mean, have you seen this place?!” He motioned to the Infinite Spring. “His bullshit is literally on a plaque here!”
“It’s not about proof, I’m not blind! More likely than not, we’ve just found our first major target. Still, palaces are entirely based on the rulers that create them, remember? If we charge in on assumptions alone, we may as well be infiltrating this place blindfolded.”
Joker furrowed his brow. “Mona has a point. We still don’t know any details about the whats and the hows of this guy. Madarame obviously plays his cards very close to his chest, there’s no telling what that means for the security of this palace.”
“Oh, there’s no way something like that isn’t gonna show up in a puzzle around here.” Added Duel. “The cat’s got a point.”
Panther shifted awkwardly. “We’re going to have to get that information from Kitagawa-kun, aren’t we?”
“Most likely, yes.” Confirmed Joker. “Wait, are you going to…?”
“Do the modeling thing for him? Yeah, unless you’ve got another way in.” She said with a shrug.
“...Well, if you’re comfortable with doing that, I guess that’ll be the plan."
Mona grinned. "Still, this is great! We may just be about to carry out our first mission as official Phantom Thieves, so you guys better not screw it up!"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mona." Duel said, sending a look down to the cat.
"Well, if there's nothing else we can do here, let's go back and get digging."
-EVENING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ann] guhh! info stop being so hard to dig up challenge
[Ren] No luck on the internet, huh?
[Ann] nope. :/
[Ryuji] nothing new on the fansite either
[Ryuji] not a single post abt art shit other than the one i showed you guys earlier
[Scott] Youd think a world famous artist would be way easier to get sh*t on…
[Ann] sifting through stuff like tabloids saying Madarame got his talent from aliens or whatever makes it real hard =_=
[Ryuji] lmao no way theres any article saying smth like that!
[Ann] https://www.thebull.co.jp/the-rumor-come-out-does-madarame-is-aliens
[Ryuji] oh my god
[Scott] This is the biggest reach ive seen since the f*cking grab-it, who tf came up with that??
[Ren] Just so you all know, Scott is currently snickering like an idiot over here.
[Scott] Youre just gonna out me like that???
[Ryuji] okay while that is fuckin hilarious, somethins been bugging the hell outta me
[Ryuji] if yusukes really getting treated like shit by that guy, why tf would he try to hide it??
[Ren] Maybe it's that we're not exactly close friends with him.
[Ren] We met just a few days ago, after all.
[Ann] he was so insistent about him not being like that though!
[Ann] wouldn't it be more natural if he just got all quiet in a situation like that?
[Scott] Maybe hes like ryuji there?
[Ryuji] shaddap!!!
[Scott] Still, there’s no way he isnt actively covering for the guy
[Scott] The way he panics for a second when you bring up something madarame might be doing before switching to anger? He totally knows about what's happening behind the scenes.
[Scott] And you guys thought i was easy to read!
[Ryuji] i mean, youre still easier
[Scott] >:(
[Ren] Didn’t Kitagawa-kun say that Madarame took him in when he was young?
[Ren] Maybe he really does feel indebted to him…
[Ryuji] even while the guys stealing his shit?????
[Ann] and we don't even know the extent of the abuse side of things…
[Scott] Devotion can make you do some f*cked up stuff!
[Scott] I once met a guy like that who was like that to some old sports game
[Scott] Yeah that was one hell of a day for me.
[Ryuji] i guess that could be whats up???
[Ryuji] still feels weird that he aint doing shit though!!
[Ann] well, since he was raised by Madarame…
[Ann] I guess it’s not like he has anything to compare it to
[Ren] Whatever the situation is, the thing we need to focus on is getting him to tell us what’s going on.
[Ren] I’ve got a backup plan if that ends up being a bust, but…
[Ren] Whether or not it’s something we’ll actually be able to do is currently up in the air.
[Scott] Ill do my best to crack him!
[Scott] After all, im the one hes complimented for knowing what the f*ck a paint is.
[Ren] Yeah, I'm pretty certain you're going to be the one he's most likely to talk to.
[Ryuji] dont scare the guy off though!!!
[Scott] Im pretty sure youre the one who needs to worry about that.
[Ann] well, I know at the very least I'll be there too, but could all of you come along?
[Ann] I mean, Kitagawa-kun seems to legitimately just want an art model, but I'd be way more comfortable in a group y'know ;-;
[Ren] Of course. Actually, I was already guessing you'd want us there.
[Ryuji] plus we could snoop around while the guys drawin!!!
[Ren] Possibly, but if Madarame happens to be there at the same time I'd say it's too risky.
-dude shit-
Ryuji added Ren to the group.
Ryuji added Scott to the group.
[Ryuji] ik it seems like a dick move to make a gc just for not having ann in it but like
[Ryuji] you guys were the first people willing to even talk to me after all the bs with kamoshida and the track team
[Ryuji] guh thats way too damn sappy
[Ren] I get what you’re trying to say, don’t worry.
[Scott] Whatd you make it for, though?
[Ryuji] oh yeah lmao
[Ryuji] ok so this is another thing thats been bugging me
[Ryuji] to yusuke, are we just a buncha thugs??
[Ren] I’m not as sure about how he sees Scott, but…
[Ren] Yeah, it seems like that’s the case.
[Ryuji] dammit. Yeah i figured
[Ryuji] it’s just!! Hes gettin shoved around and doesnt wanna do anything abt it!!!
[Ryuji] and thats rlly the worst part of this whole deal??
[Ryuji] i mean yusukes just a dude??? But here madarame is fuckin him up so he can push himself up even higher!!!
[Ren] Yeah, it’s terrible...
[Ryuji] right??? Its makin me sick just thinkin abt it!!!
[Scott] Well, hes wrong about you guys.
[Scott] Im sure he’ll come around sooner or later!
[Ryuji] shit i hope so
[Ren] I guess we’ll see tomorrow.
[Ryuji] guess we will…
--END LOG--
Scott put his phone down and let his head hit the pillow of his bunk bed. Christ, he forgot how tiring being in the Metaverse is. He wasn’t as crazy tired as he was the first few times he’d been to Kamoshida’s castle, though. Was he getting used to traversing the Metaverse or something?
Used to is way too strong a term for this.
He hadn’t even finished dragging the blanket over himself before he was suddenly assaulted by a miniature fuzzy black hole, in the form of Morgana jumping from the windowsill up to the top bunk. Scott blinked at him.
“Uh… whatcha doing up here?”
“Well, I’ve been sleeping on Ren since I moved here, but I felt like shaking things up.” He mewed matter-of-factly.
“Don’t I get a vote on this?!” Asked Scott, a little incredulously.
Morgana smirked. “You keep insisting I’m a cat, right? This is what cats do.” He was already making himself at home on Scott’s stomach, after walking onto him with surprisingly heavy steps.
“So that’s a no, then.”
“Yeah, that’s a no.”
“...If you do this, I’m just gonna keep calling you a cat, you know.”
“I can deal with that.”
Admitting defeat, Scott pulled the rest of the blanket over himself (now a difficult task with Morgana on it) and sighed. “It’s better than getting woken up by possessed Wiis in the middle of the night, at least…”
The top bunk in the Leblanc attic still didn’t feel familiar per se, but it didn’t feel like a complete stranger of a location, either. But that’s just what came with the decision to roll with the situation he was in. He’d kick the second palace’s ass, and be one step closer to getting the hell out. He closed his eyes, letting his mind wander before falling asleep.
How many huge dungeons like that could even be in this game? Probably like, three or four? Some reasonable number like that.
Notes:
I don't have anything in particular to say this time, other than, as always, see you next week!
Chapter 27: With a Beret on Top, and Anxiety on the Bottom
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/17--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ren] Hey, slight change of plans.
[Ren] Let’s all wait until we get to Shibuya before actually meeting up.
[Ryuji] huh? Why???
[Ren] Spotted the student council president interrogating Mishima in the courtyard.
[Ryuji] what, as someone who was all up in the kamoshida bullshit??
[Ren] Probably.
[Ren] But it’s possible she’s figured out that he’s the one running the phansite.
[Scott] He What???
[Ann] wait, that’s his blog??
[Ren] Yeah, he approached me after class to tell me. I tried to play it off, but it didn’t do much.
[Ren] He knows I’m involved, but I don't think he really knows who else is in the team.
[Ren] ...Did I forget to tell all of you that earlier?
[Ryuji] thats a pretty big thing to forget, dude!!
[Ren] Point is, we don’t need to give her any more reasons to believe we’re grouping together as more than just friends.
[Scott] Yeah, id Rather Not get interrogated again.
[Scott] This is probably gonna surprise you guys, but I’m not great under pressure like that.
[Ryuji] no that sounds right
[Ann] yeah, that’s not news.
[Scott] Guys!!!
[Ann] so the idea is to get to Shibuya separately, so we don't have her on our tail?
[Ren] Exactly.
[Ren] How about we meet at the same walkway where we read that post about Madarame?
[Ann] works for me!
[Ryuji] hell yeah, see you there!
--END LOG--
"...I see you invited your friends here, once again." Yusuke pointed out, shooting a dirty glance at Ren and Ryuji, and a slightly miffed one at Scott.
"Hey!" Scott said with a wave, looking around what seemed to be a small studio.
Most of the floor in this room was just empty space, but a large easel stood tall and proud in front of a low stool. On the wall behind that was a shelf absolutely covered in art materials. Palettes, pencils, erasers, inks and ink pens… plus every kind of paint imaginable. Or at least, every type Scott could remember from the Art Academy games.
"I thought it'd be awkward if it was just the two of us, y’know?" Ann nervously explained.
Ryuji set down his bag on the hardwood with a bit of a thud and sat down in a nearby chair. "Yeah, and we're here to make sure there isn't gonna be any funny business."
Yusuke blinked at that. "Funny business? I'm not attempting to 'score' with her, if you’re thinking something along those lines."
"Hey, you're the one who brought it up, not me."
After rolling his eyes and deciding to leave the matter alone, the artist looked over his selections of pencils before eventually settling on one to use before taking a seat in front of the easel. "Pose however you'd like, Takamaki-san. I shall go wherever you guide me."
"Uh… sure." Ann sat on another stool in the room, and put on a casual yet kinda elegant sitting position. With one leg crossed over the other and a hand on her chin, she spoke without turning. "Ready whenever."
"Understood." Yusuke simply stated, and the sounds of pencil lead scraping against canvas began to fill the room.
Ren leaned a little closer to Scott from the chair beside him. "Okay, you're up. Try to be tactful about this."
"I'm not Ryuji, it'll be fine." Scott muttered back.
"Using more tact than Ryuji isn't exactly a high bar to jump."
Ryuji huffed. "You guys know I can hear you, right?"
Scott leaned forward in his chair, turning to face Yusuke.
Alright, here goes nothing…
"So, this shack's where the world-famous Madarame does all his artwork, right? It's gotta be cool as f*ck, seeing those actually getting made!"
"..."
He just kept going to town with that pencil, glancing at Ann every few seconds for reference.
"Uh… ya hear him?" Asked Ryuji.
"..."
"Hellooo? Earth to Yusuke?"
"..."
He wasn't even reacting.
Morgana poked his head out of Ren’s bag, which he held on his lap.
"This is bad… is he ignoring us?!"
Ren shook his head. "No, I don't think that's what this is... It looks more like he's so immersed in his work that he doesn't even realize anyone’s talking to him.
"Well ain't that a kick in the pants…" Ryuji grumbled, crossing his arms.
Morgana groaned. "I can't just wait around in a tiny bag waiting for this guy to finish! I'm going around the shack, maybe I'll find something useful."
Despite the (to him) meowing cat hopping out of Ren’s bag and heading to the door, Yusuke stayed completely immersed in his work. That level of focus was actually pretty impressive.
"...Don't get caught." Ren warned.
The cat scoffed. "Who do you think you're talking to?"
"Didn't we find you trapped in a dungeon cell when we met?" Scott pointed out.
Morgana opened his mouth to retort, paused when he realized the guy was one-hundred percent correct, then closed it before silently leaving the studio.
"So… what do we do?" Ryuji wondered aloud. It already looked like he was getting fidgety, judging by the way his leg was bouncing.
Ren shrugged. "I think all we can do is wait." He looked calm, but Scott had a feeling that he wasn’t a fan of the situation either.
Bluh... where’s a Sega Nomad when ya need it…?
Being patient is the worst.
Scott had just been watching Yusuke work this whole time, fidgeting with his hoodie strings being his only method of staying sane in all this quiet. He wasn’t sure how much time had passed exactly, but he noticed the artist was getting more and more agitated as it went.
Eventually, he gave up with an irritated sigh, slumping in his seat. “No good…” He muttered to himself.
Ann blinked, sitting up a little. “Sorry, did I do something wrong?”
“No, it’s not you, it’s…” He took a deep breath. “It’s just not coming out how I pictured... perhaps I'm having trouble focusing because your friends are watching me work. I suppose we’ll have to try again on another day.”
“What the hell, man?!” Ryuji exclaimed, shooting up out of his chair. “We’ve been waitin’ around for this long just to get shooed off?!”
“...You three didn’t need to stay, you know.” Yusuke said, shooting a glare at Ryuji. That only seemed to piss him off even more, of course.
“Um, actually… they kinda did.” Ann stood up from the stool she was modeling on the whole time. “We also came to ask you more about… well, about the rumors going around about your Sensei.”
“Again with these rumors?” He grumbled, rising from his seat.
Scott stood up as well. “The way you wanted us to avoid that one painting back at the exhibit, Piece 42 or whatever? That’s ‘cause it’s your work, right?”
Yusuke sucked in a breath, and was generally failing miserably at hiding his shock at Scott figuring that out. “That’s not…”
“You ain’t foolin’ anybody, dude.” Ryuji pointed out. “You know he’s right, it’s written all over your face.”
“So it really was yours… I knew it.” Breathed Ann.
The artist hesitantly took a step back from the four thieves, but Ryuji just took another step forward. He was trying to get in Yusuke’s face to make him crack.
“I dunno what that messed up geezer’s tellin’ you, but using you to put more shit in his exhibits isn’t cool. And by the way, there’s no point in trying to hide shit from us.” He said through gritted teeth.
“I have… no idea what you mean…” Stammered Yusuke, convincing a total headcount of nobody.
Ann sighed. “Ryuji, calm down.” She said, tugging him back by the shoulder before turning her attention back to the artist. “But he’s also right. He’s making you feel like you can’t go against him, right? That’s why we’re trying to figure all this out, so we can help you!”
“Enough of this! Look, it is true that that piece is my work.” He admitted, avoiding their gazes. “But don’t misunderstand. I gave my Sensei permission to use that piece of my own free will, due to his current slump. It is not a case of plagiarism, but of a pupil assisting his master in a time of stress.”
Scott crossed his arms. “Is that really why he’s put it up with no mention of the guy who actually painted it, though? You’re his student, people coming around are still gonna eat that sh*t up!”
Yusuke didn’t respond to that.
“Why the hell are you even still here?!” Ryuji exclaimed, motioning to the room around them. “All the other guys Madarame was teachin’ left, right?! What are you stickin’ around for?!”
“What would I leave for?! Nobody is being hurt here, I’m simply helping the man to whom I owe my life! I don’t know why you’re so insistent on this self-centered righteousness, but I will not be pushed into it!”
Ren just looked at him. “And you’re okay with this situation? You’re okay with him stealing your art for his own gain?”
Another shocked look from Yusuke. He hesitated before speaking again, in a low, trembling voice.
“...You two are no longer welcome at this atelier. Leave, and never come back.” He said, glaring at Ren and Ryuji.
“Seriously?! You know they’re right!” Scott cried.
The artist shifted the focus of his glare onto Scott. “I was hoping you’d be more reasonable, as another with an eye for beauty. But since this is the hill you’re choosing to die on… you three are no longer welcome at this atelier.”
“You gotta be f*cking kidding me!!!”
Ryuji pushed Scott aside to get up in Yusuke’s face again. “Right, we aren’t done talkin’ to you!”
“Ryuji!” Ann scolded. He backed off a little in response, but not by much.
After squeezing his eyes shut and taking a deep breath, Yusuke pulled out his smartphone. “I have no choice but to report you to the police, then. I asked Takamaki-san here, but you three could very easily be considered trespassers. I could even take you to court if things truly got that dire.”
Ann’s eyes widened. “W-wait, hold on! Can we all just calm down for a second?!”
The artist looked at his model, thought for a moment, and then nodded. “Alright, how about this. I won’t report you three, but I have one condition you must agree to, Takamaki-san.”
“...What condition is that?”
“I want you to continue being a model for me.”
“Wait, didn’t you say it wasn’t working out?” Ann asked, tilting her head a little in confusion.
“Yes, well… I was attempting to keep things modest for your sake. But under these circumstances, I don’t have a thing to worry about.”
Modest?! I don’t like where this is going...
“Now, I’ll be able to pour my heart and soul into creating a nude painting worthy of being called my magnum opus!” Yusuke said, barely able to hide the joy in his voice at the opportunity.
There was a beat of silence as everyone’s brains caught up to what had just been said.
“NUDE?!” Ann cried.
Scott followed that up with a hearty “WHAT?!”
“THE HELL?!” Ryuji exclaimed.
Ren was the only one of the group that didn’t immediately yell out. “...Isn’t that blackmail?”
Yusuke scoffed. “You have no right to take the moral high ground with me, after going this far with the slander you keep spewing at me. Additionally, you three will not be ‘tagging along’ like you did today, just to be clear.”
“H-hold on, you want me to model nude?! As in no clothes?!?!”
“That is my condition, yes. Ahh, I’ll need to restock on supplies to prepare!”
“Waitwaitwait, can we just slow down a little?! You’re seriously just going to spring that on me?!” Ann managed through her flusteredness.
“Oh, of course not. There’s no need to rush this, I can work around your schedule. Though, I do request that we do this before Sensei’s exhibit ends. If I don’t have a new piece for him by then, there will be…” He cut himself off.
Ann waved her hands furiously in front of her. “No, that’s not what I’m talking about! Listen to me for a second!”
There was no way Scott wasn’t gonna try to put a stop to this bullsh*t. “Yeah!! Besides, you don’t know what she’s already had to deal with!!!” He shouted.
The artist somehow managed to miss Ann’s point yet again, and didn’t even seem to notice that Scott had said anything at all. “There’s no time to continue today. Sensei will be returning home soon, but contact me and we’ll arrange when we will be picking this back up.”
“Hold your horses, dammit!” Ryuji shouted. “You can’t just make Ann do something like that!”
Ren held out a hand, cutting him off. “We don’t have anything we can do here, and things will only get worse if we stick around. Come on, let’s go before he calls the police.”
“You’re giving up?!” Ann cried, staring with wide eyes as Ren made his way to the studio door.
“I didn’t say that. Come on, we’re regrouping.”
After shuffling out of Madarame’s atelier (with Ren scooping up Morgana near the door before he could start yakking and letting Yusuke realize a cat had been snooping around), Scott the other Phantom Thieves stood awkwardly just outside the entrance of the shack as their brains finished catching up with everything that just happened.
The first one to break the silence was Ryuji, who clapped his hands together and spoke.
"So, what's the game plan here?"
"Yeah, what the heck is our game plan here?! There's no way in hell I'm posing nude for that guy!" Ann cried.
Morgana stiffened from his spot in Ren’s bag. "D-did you just say nude?!"
"Oh, right! Okay, so basically Yusuke got pissed for still askin' him questions about Madarame, and he was gonna call the cops, but-"
Ann flailed her arms in Ryuji’s direction as a clear signal to shut the f*ck up. "Don’t say it out loud! Hearing it once was bad enough, you moron!!!"
Ren Fidgeted with his bangs. "What if we changed Madarame’s heart before it came to that?"
"Madarame's? How's that gonna help?" Ryuji asked.
"Well, Kitagawa-kun said he needed to submit a new piece before the exhibit's over. If I’m right about this, and this is the piece he intends to let him use… changing his heart will remove the need for it to be completed."
Madarame would be using this... for an exhibit? Of a world-famous artist?! A painting specifically of...!
Scott just shook his head. "Sh*t, this is wrong on so many levels…"
"I mean, yeah, but we shouldn't let our personal issues influence whose hearts we change, right? I mean, at least now that we're official." Ann said hesitantly.
Morgana blinked. "W-wait, so you're fine with letting a portrait of-"
"Hell no!!!"
"I mean, modeling bullshit or not, Madarame’s usin' Yusuke! He said it himself, and I bet he's only fine with it 'cause that bastard's got the guy wrapped around his finger with some bullshit story making him think he owes him his life!"
Morgana hummed. "It’s clear something bad is happening here, but we still don’t have enough details to begin our infiltration confidently. You barely got anything out of Yusuke, after all."
"Not our fault the guy's got focus like a laser!" Said Scott.
"The question is, where can we go from here? Yusuke's the only pupil left of Madarame’s, right?"
"I've got a possible backup plan in the works already. Looks pretty likely that it'll work out, too." Ren pointed out.
Ryuji grinned. "Sick! Okay, let’s get goin' after school tomorrow, yeah?"
"Ah sh*t, right!" Scott said, realizing something. "When that student council president was leaving, she told me the school roof was gonna start being locked from here on out."
"Damn, she knows we've been hangin’ out up there?!"
"In that case, we'll need to relocate our hideout. How about the walkway we've been meeting up at in Shibuya Station?" Asked Ren.
"Moving around our hideout, eh? That's the sorta thing I'd expect from our leader!" Mewed Morgana.
"That’s not really a hideout per se, but…" Scott shrugged. "I don't really give a sh*t, either."
"By the way Ren, what's this backup plan? Didn't you mention it in the group chat earlier, too?" Ann asked.
"Oh, it's-"
An unfamiliar voice interrupted Ren before he could actually explain anything. "Hey, excuse me!"
There was a woman jogging over to them, enthusiastically waving as she did. She had brightly-colored sunglasses that were bouncing on the top of her black hair, cut in a bob that hugged the sides of her face. She was in a really casual outfit, with jeans and a layered tee that backdropped the camera hanging around her neck. Once she reached them, she slowed to a stop and caught her breath.
"You guys aren't fans of Madarame, are you? you definitely don't look the stalkery type, at least. But if you're around here often, you kids mind if I ask you something?"
"Sure, you lost or somethin'?" Ryuji asked her.
The woman paused, then laughed. "Oh, you mean 'cause of the camera? Nah, I'm no tourist. I'm actually a journalist, looking into some fishy rumors surrounding Madarame.”
She leaned forward, which combined with her facial expression made her look like she was about to drop the hottest f*ckin’ gossip at the sleepover.
“Some say the work he's best known for, Sayuri, actually got stolen by some past student of his, to get back at the old guy for abusing them. You have any idea where I can find an ex-pupil of Madarame’s? Doesn't need to be exactly the one I'm looking for, either. Any tiny lead's still a lead!"
The group exchanged glances, all looking for ideas on how to get the f*ck out of this awkward, not to mention risky as hell, situation.
Ann decided to fall on the grenade of replying to her. "Whaaat? What makes you think we'd know any of Madarame’s pupils? Isn't he, like, super duper famous?"
The woman just looked at her.
Sh*t, she was actually pulling the pin on that grenade.
Thankfully, Ren swooped in to save the situation. "Actually, we were just passing through. We don't know anything about art stuff, sorry."
Narrowing her eyes, the journalist glanced at Ren, then to Ann, and back to Ren. Then, she just shrugged.
"Not even a tiny lead, then…? Well, guess it's back to square one. 'No body, no crime,' as the saying goes… thanks for your time." She turned around with a sigh, but quickly turned back around.
"Hey, if you hear anything with those young ears of yours, gimmie a call! And I mean anything, at this rate I could really use a backup scoop…"
She pulled a business card out of her fanny pack (an interesting combination, to say the least), and gave it to Ren.
"...Will do." He said, definitely not intending to ever actually contact her.
The journalist grinned. "Great! Hope to hear from you soon!" She enthused, already skipping off to who-knows-where.
And now that they had some privacy, the other Phantom Thieves slowly turned toward Ann.
"...What?" She asked nervously.
"Ann." Ryuji started, taking a deep breath before continuing. "You're great, and an awesome teammate and all that, but that was the worst acting I've ever seen in my life."
Notes:
Again, I don't Think this chapter needs any specific TWs?? But feel free to comment if something needs to be added!
Hoo boy, it's That part of the Madarame arc. I was never a fan of how this happened while being treated so lightheartedly right after the Kamoshida arc, but it isn't something I can remove entirely... I've got a plan, though. :)
You guys are all incredible, thanks for reading, and I'll see you next week!!
Chapter 28: A New Target Appears!
Notes:
TW: Suicide mention, vague references to Kamoshida's actions in the last arc.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
-EVENING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] wait shit ren, you never actually got to say what that backup plan of yours was!
[Ren] Oh, right.
[Ren] Remember how I said Mishima is actually the one running the Phansite?
[Ryuji] yeah!
[Ryuji] unlike you apparently lmaooo
[Ren] Nyeh.
[Ren] Anyways, I actually was checking on this yesterday.
[Ren] Ryuji mentioned trying to find Nakanohara's real self so we could ask him about all of this ourselves, so I contacted Mishima about it.
[Ann] whoa, really??
[Ren] Yeah. apparently running the site has its benefits.
[Ren] ...Or something. I'm not really sure how he's tackling this.
[Ryuji] damn?? If he pulls that off, were seriously in luck!!
[Scott] So, were finally gonna get to the palace?
[Ren] I suppose it depends on what happens, but…
[Ren] If he's got good information, then yes.
[Scott] God, finally!!!
[Scott] I am so f*cking tired of waiting around!
[Ann] hey, if it helps us out when we do infiltrate, it'll be so worth it!
[Scott] Honestly, that reasoning weve been rolling with seems super half-baked.
[Scott] My moneys on us dropping that after this one
[Ryuji] oh yeah this shits the actual worst. But unanimous is unanimous
[Ann] hopefully we can make some progress real soon :)
[Ren] Good news, we might be getting that progress as soon as tomorrow.
[Ann] oh???
[Ren] Yeah, just got an email from Mishima.
[Ren] Apparently he didn't even need to track the guy down, Nakanohara just contacted him via the Phansite himself.
[Ryuji] sick!!!
[Ren] We're going to be meeting in Shibuya station tomorrow, if everything goes smoothly.
[Ren] There's a hallway off to the side down there, which turns a corner at some point. I'll be on one side, and Nakanohara will be on the other, facing the other way. He's agreed not to look.
[Scott] Jesus, you're really committed to the whole hero from the shadows thing, huh?
[Ren] Heh, I guess I am.
[Ren] But there's also the fact that he won't be able to go and report us this way.
[Ren] You guys can totally come, but maybe I should do all the talking. Not as many voices to identify us by.
[Ryuji] man, thats so cool???
[Ryuji] it sounds like somethin straight outta a spy movie!
[Ann] it does!!
[Scott] Whatever gets ann out of going back to that yusuke guy to model for!
[Scott] I mean, yeah theres such a thing as tasteful artistic nudity, it's how michaelangelos david can appear in animal crossing with his cock and balls out for everyone 6 and up!
[Scott] But forcing someone into it?? Youre kinda throwing taste out the window doing that!
[Ann] Scott, I really appreciate the thought, but let's not bring that up if we don't have to ;u;
[Ann] besides, if Nakanohara can get us that info, we can avoid the possibility altogether!
[Scott] Yeah, just a real sh*tty way of handling this on yusukes part.
[Ryuji] no kidding!!
[Ryuji] okay, lets see what nakanoharas got to say about that geezer!
--END LOG--
--5/18-DAYS UNTIL EXHIBIT ENDS:18--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
"This doesn't feel nearly as cool when you're just waitin' around for the intel guy to show up..." Ryuji admitted, squatting a little further down the hallway Ren stood at the corner of.
Ann looked impatient as well. "When is he supposed to show up, again?"
"Any minute now." Ren said, sneaking a glance behind him and into the main hallway of Shibuya station.
“Been a ton of hoops to jump through just to start one dungeon...” Grumbled Scott, leaning on the wall near Ren.
“Shh, here he comes!”
Scott heard the sound of footsteps approaching them, but stopping just before turning the corner of the hallway.
“...Is this the right spot?” Came a hesitant voice.
Ryuji stood up and looked ready to say something, but Ren quickly reminded him of the plan with a finger to his lips before addressing Nakanohara from around the corner.
“Yes, it is. You wanted to discuss the possibility of a change of heart in somebody?”
The man took a shaky breath. He was clearly nervous, even if neither party could see each other. “That’s correct. This isn’t something I can just post in a public setting, so...”
“Go on.”
“Right, of course. You’ve probably heard of the man I want to see changed. He’s Ichiryusai Madarame, the famous traditional Japanese artist.”
Ryuji and Ann exchanged worried yet excited glances, while Ren kept his cool. “Could you go into a little more detail on why exactly you want to change his heart?”
“Yes. I can. He takes on students simply so he can confiscate the work they do and claim them as his own. He treats us terribly in the process, like we’re just tubes of paint to be squeezed dry by him. I know this, because I was once a pupil of his. And I saw how a friend of mine, another student with a few more years of experience under his belt, just couldn’t take any more of the things he’d put us through only for the one thing that gave him joy to get snatched away from him.”
Another shaky breath, now with a tiny hint of a sob.
“He took his own life, and that’s what made me finally leave Madarame’s atelier. But there’s still one student suffering because of him, a kid in high school. The thing is, just before I left, I asked him why he was so dead set on staying there.”
So that’s gotta be Yusuke, right?
It looked like everyone else had come to the same conclusion. Ren looked especially concerned about this, the way he knitted his brow. “And did he tell you?”
“Yes, and what he said surprised me. He told me, ‘if I could leave, I would.’ So I think he’s in danger, just like my friend was in the past. I can’t be a painter now, not after Madarame pressured the art world into essentially blacklisting me, but he’s still got the possibility of a bright future ahead of him. I don’t want his story to end... like that.”
There was a beat of silence. Seemed like Nakanohara had said everything he could. After thinking about it for a moment, Ren spoke.
“Alright. We’ll see what we can do.”
“Y-you will?!”
“Yes, we can take it from here. Now, you can’t get involved any further, it’s official Phantom Thieves business now. Do you understand?”
“...Yes. I do. Thank you so much for hearing me out.”
And the sound of footsteps started again, now moving away from the group.
Nobody dared to say a word until the sound had completely faded into the mess of noise that was the usual bustle of Shibuya station.
“...So, what are we thinking?” Ren asked tentatively.
Scott shrugged. “You already know what my take’s gonna be.”
“Yeah, same here. Seriously, hearing about this makes me even more sick of that guy!” Ryuji added, kicking at a spot on the floor in frustration.
Morgana hummed. “Well, it’s not exactly an ideal amount of intel, but…”
“We’re going in.” Stated Ann, uncharacteristically serious. “We don’t have time to go around for information if there’s even a tiny chance Kitagawa-kun could…”
“My thoughts exactly, Lady Ann. We’ll have to make it work, for Yusuke’s sake.”
Ren nodded. “Of course. In that case, it’s unanimous.”
“It’s about f*cking time!” Scott groaned. “Come on, let’s go kick this dungeon’s ass already!”
As soon as they reached Madarame’s shack and slipped into the Metaverse, Mona took the opportunity to hop on top of a fence and lay out the game plan. “Okay team, same tactic as before! First, we secure an infiltration route, then we send a calling card and steal the treasure before the day’s out!”
“Yeah, yeah, we know all that stuff already.” Skull crossed his arms.
Joker fidgeted with his bangs. “It’s probably good to go over it again. After all, this target is a bigger deal, his palace could be far more complex to match.”
“Yeah, don’t quote me on this, but I think the idea of difficulty curves... is that they curve.” Added Duel.
"But, now that we've got that out of the way…" He started, but the leader of the phantom thieves suddenly trailed off and turned to the wall behind the truck they used to get in.
Skull blinked. "Joker?"
No response.
Duel narrowed his eyes and approached him.
Well, that seems just a little… weird-like.
The guy was just staring at the wall he'd just turned toward, as still as Shaun's glitched talking animation in his run of Heavy Rain. His face was completely blank with glazed over eyes. In short, the lights were on but Joker wasn't home.
Plus, the hell's up with this deja vu?
Shaking that last bit off of his mind, Duel positioned himself in front of Joker’s face and readied a forehead flick like what he and Skull liked to pull with him sometimes.
He was just about to give out the flick of a f*cking lifetime when Joker suddenly shuddered and jerked back to the position he was in a moment ago, complete with a sudden return to facing the rest of the group. "...We should get going. We didn't come to the Metaverse just to stand around."
"Dude, you alright?" Skull asked.
"...Yeah. I'm not sure what that was, but I guess it's over."
He seemed pretty genuine, but Duel still felt like something was fishy.
...Eh, probably just some kinda lag.
"Well it's over, can we quit loitering in the f*cking parking lot of this guy’s psyche and kick some ass already?" He asked, impatiently tapping his foot.
Joker turned back around a little startled, apparently unaware that Duel had moved since he had signed out of his own brain.
Or program. Or controls. Whatever's in there, at least.
That said, he quickly composed himself. "Yeah. No more roadblocks now that we're going ahead with this mission."
"Joker, I may only know fishy names, but I am pretty sure that's a roadblock." Duel said, crossing his arms.
Things had been pretty smooth sailing, if not a bit uneventful, so far in this infiltration. The shadows they ended up needing to fight were definitely stronger here, but also nothing they couldn’t handle. They’d encountered new security systems equipped with lasers that would trip an alarm if touched, but by utilizing the weird movement powers they could use in the Metaverse, they didn’t trip a single one. Even Skull was being careful, which was weird as f*ck to see.
That was, it was smooth sailing up until now. The group had just hit a huge wall in the form of a large and ornate door that was surrounded on all sides by a sea of security measures. The main attraction was the setup of what could no longer even be called lasers, rather, they were entire panels of infrared light that created a massive barrier by linking themselves in what seemed to be a honeycomb pattern. At least, that’s what Duel thought the setup looked like. He didn’t exactly have a third-person camera to utilize here, so he couldn’t be 100% sure.
“Whoa, the shit is this?!” Skull cried.
Mona smirked. “A good sign, that’s what! Security this tight means there’s something important just up ahead.”
“Yeah, that’s not gonna matter if we can't get in!” Panther pointed out.
Scanning the area, Duel put a hand to his chin. “What if we use the weird super-speed sh*t to avoid them? Like, jump where the lasers aren’t.”
“Too risky.” Said Mona, shaking his head. “You guys still don’t have a ton of experience under your belts, it’d be really easy for you to mess up somewhere.”
“So you do it and turn it off for the rest of us.” Panther proposed.
The cat stiffened. “Erm... I-I can’t just leave you behind like that!”
“So you can’t do it either, huh?” Muttered Skull, crossing his arms.
“H-hey, I totally could!”
“Wouldn’t matter anyways.” Joker called out to them, pointing to a sign near one of the lasers that seemed to act as a notice posted for the security guards of the museum. “Come look at this.”
“Notice to all personnel: Due to suspicion of intruders in the museum, The sections beyond this point have had their security tightened. This door will only open if done so by an authorized guard, who is stationed in the security room on the other side. This door will not open under any circumstances from the outside, so make the proper arrangements if your shift is assigned to a location past this point.”
“Any circumstances?” Skull asked. “How are we gonna get in, then?!”
“Any backup systems we could try and find, Mona?” Joker looked down to the cat, who was deep in thought.
Mona hummed. “I doubt it. If the palace ruler is so sure something will never open without his presence, that’ll apply to the cognitive door as well.”
“This thing’s based on a real door somewhere?”
“I saw one with a very similar design while sneaking around the shack yesterday. But now that you point that out, there may just be another angle we can look at this from...” The cat trailed off.
“Huh? What are you thinking, Mona?” Questioned Panther.
“It’ll be easier to explain back at the hideout. Come on team, we’re pulling back for now!”
“Did we really have to wait to get started until we got to the hideout?” Asked Scott with an exasperated groan.
Morgana glared at him from Ren’s bag, which he had set onto the floor of the walkway beside him. “Of course! What kinda Phantom Thieves discuss their intricate plans outside of their Phantom Thief hideout?”
“Actually, why the hell are you calling it a hideout? Because you can call Shibuya Station at rush hour a lot of things, and 'out' is one of them, but even I’m positive ‘hide’ isn’t on that list.”
Seriously, the place was f*cking packed. It was just after school when they’d entered the palace, which was busy enough already, but now it was the middle of the going-home rush. They were lucky they got a few square feet of the area to themselves, really.
“That’s not what we’re here for.” Ren reminded the group.
Ryuji’s face lit up. “Oh, yeah! You’re thinkin’ you’ve got a way past that door, right?”
The cat nodded. “Indeed I do. Remember how I said that it’d be impossible to force open due to the palace leader seeing it as unopenable? Well, why don’t we just show him ourselves that it isn’t?”
“...Wait, what?”
“Oh, do you mean we get the door open in the real world and make sure Madarame sees it?” Ren asked, tilting his head to the side a little.
“Ren’s right on the money, as always!” Mewed Morgana. “We blow open the idea that the matching door in his shack is totally sealed off, and the door in the palace blows open with it!”
Nodding, Ann leaned back on the railing. “I think I get it, but how are we going to do that?”
“All I need is a hairpin and some time. The main hangups there are buying that time, plus luring Madarame over there when the time is right.”
Ren hummed. “We’re going to need to keep Kitagawa-kun busy somehow. And the only one who won’t get immediately get the cops called on them is...”
All eyes turned to Ann, and she froze.
“Nonono, I thought we were gonna avoid this!!!”
“I mean, it’s not like any of us can get in there.” Ryuji shrugged. "We can probably come up with a way to keep you from actually needing to go n-"
“T-there’s gotta be some other way!”
"Y'know, we might be giving up early on this." Scott crossed his arms, going through the factors at play in his head again. "I mean, we haven't even really thought about any other plans!"
"See?! Scott gets it!"
"Plus, you guys all saw how Ann totally broke down trying to lie to that reporter, Yusuke and Madarame would both totally see through her sh*t."
"That's… you know what? I don't care, as long as that gets me out of this."
"Kinda hard to come up with other shit when you're totally banned from the place…" Pointed out Ryuji.
"I mean, duh, but maybe we can make it seem like whoever shows up is someone anti-us! Like, some kinda disguise!"
"Actually, that could work… but what would we disguise ourselves as?" Ren wondered aloud. "Ann has an easy in, but we'd need to come up with something else if we go with this."
"Yeah, kinda sucks we can't use how Yusuke’s expecting Ann to show up at the shack…"
Ryuji stood up straight from the spot he'd been leaning on the railing.
"Ah, shit."
"What? Did you think of something?" Asked Ren.
"I gotta pretend to be Ann."
There was a beat of silence. Or, about as much silence as there could be in the middle of Shibuya during rush hour.
"Wait, what?!" Ann cried, being the first to break the semi-silence.
“Well, yeah! Ann’s got a way in but can’t act for shit, right? I mean, I’m no grifter, but I can lie pretty good if I really have to.”
Ren blinked. “Will Yusuke seriously fall for that...?”
“C’mon, you got a better idea?” Ryuji deadpanned, although it was clear he really was legitimately open to other suggestions.
“You’d do that, Ryuji?!” Gasped Ann, definitely surprised but also overjoyed to be dodging that bullet.
“If we’ve got a way to still get this justice done while not makin’ you do something like that, especially after what that bastard Kamoshida’s done... I’ll do it.”
“Well, in that case, I can help make this work! You can borrow some of my clothes, and with some contouring, I’m sure I can make your face look a little more rounded...” She looked up and down Ryuji, thinking about what the most convincing course of action would be.
“Whoa, you might actually be able to pull this off.” Ren admitted with an approving nod.
“Ryuji, you may be a brutish moron, but I salute you for your chivalry!” Mewed Morgana, putting a paw to his little kitty forehead.
“Gee, thanks.” He deadpanned back.
“That said, this is going to be risky. Remember, Yusuke’s probably gonna call the cops if he figures you out.”
Scott shrugged. “Making Ann lie is pretty damn risky, too.”
“Can we please drop that?!” She snapped.
Ren fidgeted with his bangs. “That’s a pretty solid baseline, but we’ve still got a good few details to hammer out. So for one, we still need a way to buy some time for Morgana to get the lock open...”
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] man... idk about you guys but im still really nervous about this
[Ren] I’m surprised you’re willing to do this, crossdressing for a mission.
[Ryuji] its not about pride or anything, you know?
[Ryuji] ann went through some pretty messed up stuff with kamoshida
[Ryuji] itd be a huge dick move to just make her go through with something like this!!
[Ann] aww Ryuji, you’re so considerate! ;u;
[Ren] That’s true, of course.
[Ren] Still a bit surprising, though.
[Ryuji] i mean, youd do the same thing right??
[Ren] Probably, if it really came down to it.
[Scott] Whats the big deal?
[Scott] I mean, skirts are just pants with one less tube
[Ren] Well, you aren’t wrong about that.
[Ryuji] hey, good point!
[Ryuji] damn scott, youre real open minded about this stuff
[Scott] Huh?
[Ann] is that just how things are in America now?
[Ann] if that’s true, that’s really cool! :0
[Scott] What do you mean??
[Ren] Regardless, we owe you one for this, Ryuji.
[Ryuji] cmon, you dont have to make it a big deal!
[Ryuji] seriously, dont. Youre gonna make me even more nervous!!
[Ren] Roger that.
[Ann] don’t worry, I’m gonna have you looking just like me!
[Ann] I even stopped by a cosplay store and picked up some blue circle lenses! :D
[Ryuji] circle lenses? What the heck are those??
[Ann] they’ll make it look like you’ve got blue eyes like I do!
[Ryuji] oh yeah, didn’t even think about that part
[Ren] Looks like you’re in good hands here.
[Scott] Plus, our stalling tactic is gonna make it even harder to tell!
[Ann] yeah! good thinking on that one, Ren!
[Ren] No problem.
[Ren] Oh yeah, did Kitagawa-kun get back to you on when “you’re” coming over?
[Ann] yeah! we set up for tomorrow!
[Ann] I said I had a couple things I needed to get done before coming over, so we’ve got time for Ryuji’s makeover after school :)
[Ryuji] my lifes in your hands, ann >:I
[Ann] I’ll equip you best I can!!! >:D
[Scott] And ill be backing you up!
[Ryuji] you better save my ass if somethin goes wrong!!!
[Ren] Alright, we should all get some rest.
[Scott] Jesus, i think morganas rubbing off on you
[Ren] Well, we’re going to need the energy for Operation: He’s the Woman.
[Ryuji] dont call it that..........
[Ann] oh, like that American comedy? :0
[Ann] I wonder if Scott’s seen it!
[Scott] Nah, I haven’t
[Scott] Too busy owning too many copies of Premium Rush
[Ryuji] yeah that sounds about right.
Notes:
And here it is! The first major canon divergence in the fic!! Like I said in the last chapter's end notes, I never liked how this bit was treated so lightheartedly right after the first arc. I thought about how I could move the story forward while avoiding it as much as I could, and this is what I came up with!
Also, I just want to say Madarame's palace is really difficult to write for mechanically speaking. I mentioned this in a comment at one point, but I just wanted to reiterate it since this chapter essentially skips over the entire first chunk of the palace. I tried to go extra nuts with the storytelling and using the palace symbolism in the narrative to make up for this, though!
See you next week, everyone! ^-^
Chapter 29: Before You Get Judgemental, I’m Only Posing as a Girl to Get Justice
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/19-DAYS UNTIL EXHIBIT ENDS:17--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Scott] Okay, morganas in position
[Scott] Hows it going for you guys?
[Ren] Me and Ann are ready.
[Ren] When this door pops, we’ll be in and making sure it stays open.
[Scott] Neat Sh*t!
[Ren] I guess it's up to Ryuji now.
[Ren] Man, it feels weird to be in the Metaverse, but texting our real names...
[Scott] Im gonna be in a phone call with him, hes on speaker and im muted
[Scott] Pretty much a wire.
[Ren] Did you think of a panic word?
[Scott] F*ck yeah i did!
[Scott] The panic word is Zip-Lash
[Ren] ...Can I ask why?
[Scott] Cause the word sends me into a moderate to severe panic attack whenever i perceive it! :)
[Ren] Duly noted.
[Ren] I'll let you focus on keeping an ear out for Ryuji, but keep me posted, okay?
[Scott] You got it!
--END LOG--
Scott closed the IM app and returned to the phone app that was already in the middle of a call to Ryuji’s phone. He put it in his hoodie pocket, before turning back to the guy, who was still right in front of him.
"God, it's so damn hot in all these layers... screw summer, man." Groaned Ryuji.
“Dude, it’s May.” Scott said, giving Ryuji a look. "Still, it’s a guaranteed way to stall for time. Just don't get heatstroke and you'll be fine!"
"Yeah, I'll try not to..." He grumbled, turning and emotionally preparing himself for the trials to come.
Scott's eyes suddenly widened. "Oh, wait! Before you go... take this."
After taking his school bag off his shoulder and rummaging around through the mess of papers inside for a moment, Scott handed Ryuji a blonde wig with two large pigtails attached.
He stared at it for a second. "Dude... why do you have this?" Ryuji asked with genuine confusion on his face.
Scott blanked, and then looked down at the wig in his hand.
"...Sh*t, why do I have this?"
"Hey, whatever makes it work! This has gotta be convincing, for Ann!"
"F*ck yeah, let's kick that door's ass!"
Positioning himself at a conveniently-placed bush near the window Morgana had slipped in through, Scott took his phone back out, double-checked that he was still muted, and popped in one of the cheap earbuds he’d gotten at the Triple Seven that weren’t made by Madcatz, but sure felt like it.
“I must say, I’m truly appreciative that you came today. I wasn’t sure if your friends were scheming anything, after the... tussle a couple days ago.”
Yusuke’s voice filtered through the call, slightly muffled and distant-sounding but still apparently loud enough to be picked up by speakerphone.
“Oh, don’t let those worrywarts get to ya!” Ryuji said reassuringly, in an imperfect impression of Ann. Though, given the circumstances, it wasn’t terrible either.
Damn. That’s impressive.
“Oh, and just to make sure you’re aware, Sensei will be returning in around half an hour. I’m sure he won’t intrude, he understands the pursuit of beauty well enough to respect our privacy while you’re here.”
“Perfect!” Muttered Ryuji under his breath, albeit to no one in particular.
“Did you say something?”
“Uh, nope! Probably just the place creaking.”
“Yes, it does tend to do that... back to the matter at hand, however.”
Yusuke hesitated, but it didn’t take long for him to speak up again.
“Did you, erm... put on a few pounds?"
Right, that was the other big part of this plan. They'd thrown as many layers of clothes as they could fit onto their stunt double, so it'd take forever for him to take it all off. If all went well, Morgana would be done by the time he'd gotten through that, and Madarame would be back home and lureable.
“Oh, really? Wow, I...” Ryuji was clearly thinking as fast as his little brain could handle. “Maybe all that cake’s catching up to me? Can’t be that much, though...”
“Actually, forget I asked. Are you ready to begin?”
Letting his shoulders relax, Scott released a breath he didn't realize he was holding.
Nice save.
Scott heard Ryuji gulp. "Y-yeah! I just gotta... get undressed, yeah?"
"That’s correct. I'll look away until you give the okay, if that will help."
"...I'd really appreciate that."
The sound of creaking floorboards reached Scott’s ears.
"Alright, just tell me when."
"Will do! Let me just..."
Sounds of rustling fabric filled the call, along with a good few muttered curses happening under Ryuji’s breath.
"S-sorry, the clasps and stuff on girl's clothes are always sooo hard to reach!"
Scott winced at the forced and pretty sh*tty attempt at sounding like a girl that loves dragging out vowels. His normal talk seemed to be decent-ish, but that seemed to be it.
Thank Christ Yusuke’s also an idiot.
After a moment of silence, only broken by the sounds of Ryuji struggling, a realization suddenly hit Scott.
...This is gonna take a while, isn't it?
"You can turn around now, Kitagawa-kun!"
Scott jolted back to focus when the endless sounds of fabric and cursing finally got interrupted. He picked the phone off the ground where he'd set it down earlier and took a look at the call time.
Damn, it took that long??
Around 25 minutes had passed, based on Scott's memory of when Ryuji had gone in. By now, Ryuji would be down to the base Ann disguise she’d put together out of some random clothes she owned that happened to fit okay on Ryuji. For phase two of this plan, he’d have to manage to convince Yusuke to move to the door that Morgana was hopefully already done lockpicking.
Knowing Morgana, that estimate of 15 minutes he had earlier is definitely on the low end of things...
"Erm... Takamaki-san, you aren't... I’m sorry, were you wearing all of that??"
"Right, before I really get down to it... don't you think we should do this somewhere a little more private?"
"P-private? The only ones in this atelier are you and I..."
"Well, yeah, but Madarame’s gonna be home any minute by now, right? He might walk in on us, being in a room without a lock and all..."
"Well, the only room here with a lock is Sensei's storage space-"
"Great! We'll do it in there, then!"
He could hear Yusuke hesitate, pausing before finally responding, "But, no one other than sensei is allowed into that room under any circumstances... in addition, I don’t have a key."
"C'mon, the old guy’s probably got a spare somewhere! Like in a fake rock or somethin', y'know? Hey, maybe we'll get lucky and find out he forgot to lock it today!"
"Perhaps, but I really shouldn't intrude on Sensei's private affairs..." Yusuke sighed, Scott could hear the sounds of things shuffling, he could only assume it was the two current people moving around.
"W-well, I don’t think I can do this if the geezer could just walk in at any moment!" Ryuji audibly pouted as he gave his ultimatum.
Come on, Yusuke...
"...Alright. I can't guarantee I can get in, but I suppose it's worth a shot if it's what you need."
Yes!!!
"Oh, thank goodness! C'mon, let’s go already!"
The clunking sounds started to fill Scott’s ears once more, along with creaking wood.
"H-hey, wait for me!"
Right then, Scott instinctually pressed himself up against the fence behind the bush he was behind. It took him a second for his brain to catch up to what made him do that in the first place, when it finally registered that Madarame was walking up the block and towards the shack.
Oh sh*t, there he is! Okay Ryuji, it’s now or never!!
Fortunately, the old man hadn't even glanced his way as he approached, and eventually slid open the front door, still totally oblivious.
"Dude, you're still not done?!" Hissed Ryuji, making Scott return his focus to the call.
"You try doing this without your thumbs!" Came a retort in Morgana’s voice.
“Oh my goooood, Morgana, why did we trust you with this again??”
“Do you want to try and unlock this door?!”
“Noted.”
Scott squinted at the phone.
The lock still isn’t even OPEN yet?! God dammit, Morgana!!!
Scott suddenly heard a new voice from aftar on the phone, "Ah, Yusuke! I see you've invited your muse over." Madarame said, a bit faint, but still audible from the call.
"Gah, finally!" Morgana mewed, followed by a loud click.
Wait, is that-?
"S-sensei, I-"
The sound of a sliding door being loudly dragged open.
It is! Scott let out yet another sigh of relief.
F*ck, that cat really cut it close...
"Yusuke, are you breaking into my PRIVATE ROOM?!" Madarame's sudden shift from his usual demeanor made Scott immediately jump.
"Sensei, please, it's not what it- whoa!"
The art student was cut off, and if their strategy was going as planned, got dragged into the locked room by Ryuji.
"Sorry dude, gotta make sure this thing stays open for a bit. No hard feelings, yeah?" He explained, completely dropping the Ann impression.
"Wait, you're not-!" Yusuke was flustered as all hell, and probably pretty confused for good measure. Scott couldn’t blame him, though.
"Yeah, yeah, you can yell at me later. Where’s the damn light switch..."
A softer, but still fairly significant click rang out.
Both of the boys stayed silent. Scott didn't even know where Morgana was, either. If he was there, he wasn’t saying anything either.
The f*ck did they find in there, a dead body?!
"GET OUT!!!"
It was like night and day. Madarame sounded completely different all of a sudden, now that the guise of a kindly old man seemed to have been dropped. Hell, Scott couldn’t even see sh*t and he still could guess at what the guy looked like right now. (Definitely not happy, that’s for sure...)
"Sensei... what is all of this?" Yusuke asked, the confusion of his voice was gone, and all that remained was a meek, yet somehow calm tone.
There was a moment of tense silence, with everyone seeming to be at a loss on what to do.
"Well, if you've seen this room, I suppose I can't keep hiding this from you. Yusuke..."
Madarame sighed.
"I am in crippling debt. As far as options go, there's either going bankrupt and leaving you without a home and education, or I create and sell counterfeits of the Sayuri for the sake of being able to continue as an artist. I couldn't bear the thought of no longer being able to teach you, so I went with the latter."
Ryuji clearly wasn't impressed. "Yeah, I don't buy it. Makin' this many phonies ain't just for 'getting by.'"
"Yes, well... most of these were attempts at recreating the original, stroke by stroke. Then, I was approached by a distributor one day, who knew what they were but didn't care. I knew that with the art block I'd been suffering ever since that young man stole the Sayuri... I couldn't go on without finding some way to make a reliable income."
Yusuke sighed. "Well, it's not ideal, but... if your intentions were just-"
"Hang on…" Ryuji began, cutting him off. "How’d you even make copies without havin' the original to check?"
"There was a very highly detailed photograph in an old artbook I was featured in." Madarame said quickly. A little too quickly.
"Yeah, right. Books are effin' tiny compared to these big-ass paintings, and you're telling me you still made legit-looking copies off of that? I dunno shit about art, but isn't the idea that a forgery still has to get the tiny details right to get anywhere?"
"Sensei...?"
"Actually, while I'm at it, the hell's up with this one? There's a bajillion Sayuris here, why's this the only one covered up?"
"DON’T TOUCH THAT-!" Madarame went back to roaring with anger, but apparently it was already too late, as noted by a very audible and sharp gasp from Yusuke, who remained silent for a moment.
"That’s... the original Sayuri." Breathed Yusuke. "That’s the original, but... you just said it had been stolen."
"No, it’s merely another forgery!"
"No, I know the legitimate Sayuri when I see it." There was a sternness to Yusuke's voice. it wasn't obvious at first, but it was there. "It was the reason I became an artist, and thus the piece I've studied the most. And what I see right now is the original, legitimate, breathtaking Sayuri."
Yusuke sighed once more before continuing. "So I ask again... what is all of this?"
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow the f*ck down, if what Scott was hearing meant what he thought it meant, then not only was Madarame taking the credit and fame from his students' work, but he was making his own underground replica black market? For his own piece? Which was supposed to be stolen, but he still has it?!
That’s such a roundabout way to do it. Just evade taxes like the rest of us if you want money, Jesus!
Madarame’s voice cut through the silence that Scott hadn’t even noticed while he was distracted by his whirling thoughts. A scheme that elaborate does that to you, apparently.
“To think I’d actually need to use the private security company I hired to be on call... not even for the paparazzi, but for a troublemaker and my own student. They’ll be here within two minutes to take you in.”
“What?!” Yusuke cried in disbelief.
Morgana’s voice finally made a cameo again in the call. “That’s our cue to get the hell out of here!” He mewed.
“Shit, for real?!” Some rustling sounds came through, presumably Ryuji taking his phone out of his pocket. “Zip-Lash, dude, Zip-Lash!!! I’m making a break for it out the front, maybe we can get far enough before the-”
“Ryuji, I’m literally already running right next to you.”
Scott had already been in action before the panic word even came out or Ryuji’s mouth. Seeing him dash out the front, he’d jumped to action by hanging up the phone call, pulling up the MetaNav and going to the search history.
Ryuji looked surprised, but decided to focus on the main issue at hand. “Okay, that’s sick, but how the hell are we gonna get out of here?!”
“We use the app on a device we all have on us at all times to literally hop dimensions, how the hell do you think we’re gonna get out of here?”
“Cool, cool, so GET US OUT!!!”
“Beginning navigation.”
The now-familiar computerized voice said its usual line, and the two of them briefly stumbled from the light-headed wave that came with slipping into the Metaverse.
Scott turned the MetaNav screen towards Ryuji. “There, I just guaranteed nobody’s gonna follow us!”
“Where are you two going?!” A familiar voice shouted out behind them.
“You were saying?!” Yowled Morgana, who was running alongside the other two (or, apparently three) of them.
“I should really stop saying stuff like that...” Groaned Scott.
Notes:
Real proud of that chapter title. It's just so (chefs kiss) y'know?
BUT YEAH, next chapter. Hoo boy. When I said I went extra nuts with symbolism and such to make up for the bland-ish mechanics of Madarame's palace, next chapter is partly what I meant. Oh, and another cool thing that'll happen is coming up. So look forward to that. :)
See you all next week!
EDIT: SHIT I knew I was forgetting something I wanted to point out!!! The reason Scott has that wig is because Anna May thought this divergence was funny and wanted to help out, in her own weird way. Okay Cool hope that clears shit up lmao
Chapter 30: Oh F*ck, I Thought You Were Another Door!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"AAAAA-"
WHAM!!
So, there was good news and bad news here.
The good news was that they'd definitely gotten away from the cops, security guys, or whoever the hell Madarame had called on them.
The bad news was that, for some reason, instead of just appearing at the palace entrance like usual, the group had just fallen into the place from several feet up at a spot in the middle of the museum. Duel in particular hitting the shiny pavement face-first. It wasn't a great experience.
"Hey, you alright?"
Ah, that was probably why they landed here. Joker's voice reached Duel's ears from above him, so it seemed like they'd entered the palace at the same point that the others were already. Convenient!
Duel rolled over and let his eyes get used to the gold reflections he was currently getting blasted with before saying anything.
"Things could be better." He grumbled.
Joker smiled at hearing that, and held out a hand to help him up with. "Could be worse, too."
Duel gratefully took it. "Can't argue with that..."
"GAH, get offa me!!!" Skull suddenly cried. He shoved Yusuke, who had apparently caught him as they'd fallen into the Metaverse, to the ground in a way that forced the artist to let go of him just in time for Duel to see.
Oh yeah, Yusuke followed us in...
Now freed from Yusuke's bridal carry, he began to stand up, but suddenly started whipping his head around him looking for something.
"Wait, where's Mona?!"
Another red and black splotchy portal opened up above Skull's head, spitting Mona out in just the perfect spot to bonk him on the head with perfect comedic timing.
"Found him." Said Duel.
Mona's head bobbed back and forth, his eyes briefly replaced with cartoony swirls. "Muh... how about we try not to get the cops called on us next time?!"
Groaning and rubbing his head, Yusuke sat up from where he'd been shoved down, and finally got to take a good look at his surroundings.
And then at the Phantom Thieves.
"What- who are you people?!" He cried, his brain finally seeming to catch up to his eyes.
"It's us, Kitagawa-kun! I know it's kinda hard to tell with the outfits on, but it's really us!"
He stared at Panther. "Takamaki-san...?"
Skull kicked at a crack in the pavement. "Ya just had to try and follow us, huh...?"
"I mean, it sounded like the old guy was ready to get his own student-slash-adopted-son arrested just as much as he wanted to take us in. He didn't exactly have many other options." Duel pointed out.
"Scott?? And, uh..." Yusuke stared blankly at Skull, apparently realizing he had no idea what his name was.
"Call me Skull 'til we get the hell outta here."
"Right, right..." He nodded, not getting anything he was being told right now. "And where is here, exactly?"
Joker was the one to step forward and explain things this time. "Right now, we're in Madarame's heart. This place is his true feelings and desires, manifested into physical space."
"What...?"
"Yeah, I still only half get what the hell's goin' on here. Best I can do is say this is how your Sensei sees the world." Skull added with a shrug.
"No, I understand that part, it's just..."
"Wait, you do?"
"A place so dominated by gold and displays of wealth that it becomes entirely overwhelming and oppressive... can't be Sensei's heart."
Yusuke stood up, and looked around the area with a grim look on his face.
"This is all wrong. The way the clouds swirl over this place like it's the center of the world, the completely unbalanced use of gold that only serves to blind the viewer rather than being used to highlight what you think deserves an extra glimmer..."
Turning towards the large tree in the courtyard made up of liquid gold that seemed to constantly shift, the artist's shoulders drooped slightly.
"The way that something as full of natural beauty as a tree has seemingly become so tainted by greed, its branches attaching to this building combined with the way it seems to always be in motion makes it look like a siphon draining what should be a treasured material from god-knows-where. It's all wrong."
His eyes dropped to the pavement.
"It barely even resembles a tree at this point..."
The others stood in silence, half processing how he managed to get all that from one courtyard, half trying to think of something to tell him. Eventually, Skull sighed and clapped a hand on his shoulder from behind.
"Look, man. We both saw that storage room of nothin' but phony paintings. He lied to your face about the Sayuri getting stolen when it was literally in the same goddamn room, I think it's a pretty safe guess that he's lyin' about other stuff, too."
"Yeah!" Mona mewed, approaching Yusuke. "Look, no matter how you try and deny it, the fact of the matter is that this is your Sensei's cognition. This... is how Madarame sees the world around him."
Yusuke was looking real unsure about himself by now. "But... he raised me. For more than the last ten years, he's been the reason I have a roof over my head, and I can't just throw that gratitude away just because I'm seeing some... incriminating things." Finally looking down at the cat who was addressing him, he blinked in surprise. "Is that... a miniature mascot costume of some sort?"
The cat winced. "God, that's even worse than just calling me a cat..."
Duel finally stepped forward to make a comment.
"Look, man. Even if you think of this guy as a saint for what he's done to help you, it's still really clear he's got some major skeletons in his closet. He's obviously up to some shady sh*t, and that's not gonna just vanish because he's the guy raising you. I mean, why do you think we've been so pushy about figuring him out? Spoiler alert, it's ‘cause people f*cking up their students is wrong as all hell no matter who they are to you."
Yusuke turned stared at him, his face an odd mixture of shock, relief, terror, and a ton more of the entries you see on those face charts of emotions.
Before he could think of a response, however, Mona's ears suddenly perked up. "Wait, we shouldn't be hanging around here! I'm sensing some enemies from a good ways away, but it won't take long for them to catch up to us!"
Joker nodded. "Roger that, Mona. Everyone, we're going to need to be extra careful since Yusuke's with us." He signaled to the others to get moving, and they didn't waste any time following.
"What are you all...?" Yusuke asked, struggling a bit to keep up but managing so far.
Skull shot a glance back in Duel's direction. "Do we tell him?"
"If you can sum it up in, like, three sentences, you can tell him while we're running!" Mona called back in response.
"How about we focus on getting out of here alive first?!" Panther interjected.
"Yes, I suppose that would be-" Yusuke started, but cut himself off and froze mid-sentence, eyes fixed in shock on one specific painting of a woman... or more specifically, the name listed under it.
"Yusuke! What's the holdup?!" Shouted Duel, slowing himself a bit as he caught up with the impressively long-legged boy who had been ahead of them.
"What... is she doing here?"
Duel huffed. "We can go over it later! I'd rather not end the day with a manslaughter, thank you very much!"
As he ran past, Duel summoned the whackin' cane and used the hooked end to yank Yusuke out of the cognitive painting's thrall like a cartoon character that just put on the sh*ttiest performance of all episode. He stumbled as he stared back at the painting, but managed to steady himself and continued running with an understanding nod, easily overtaking Duel again.
They ran past the Infinite Spring sculpture, which had gotten another horrified glance from Yusuke as they moved, making him nearly run straight into the shadow guards that sprang up and blocked the exit as they approached.
"Dammit!" Grunted Joker. "We're so close-!"
Mona stepped back in surprise. "Wait, they knew we were gonna make a run for it... is this a trap?!"
"An artful tactic, no?"
A low, distorted voice approached them. An older, male-sounding voice that sounded real similar to...
Duel whipped around to face the speaker, and sure enough, there stood what had to be Madarame's shadow. He shared the same glowing yellow eyes Kamoshida had had, and this one wore extravagant golden robes that seemed to shine just as brightly. He wore makeup that made his face a powdery white color, with bright red lips and filled black eyebrows that made him look like something straight out of Okami. Plus, he had the bonus of a taller-than-life hair bun suspended over the top of his head.
"Eugh." Skull winced, recoiling a little at the sight of him.
Panther scoffed. "Artful? That tactic was dirty at best!"
"Even more boasts of excessive wealth... this is revolting." Muttered Yusuke, looking at his Sensei's shadow in horror. He did still look like he couldn't believe what he was seeing... but it wasn't in the same way as a moment ago. If anything, it was clear that the thing he couldn't believe was how long it took for him to acknowledge it.
"You're lucky you didn't see the last guy. Pretty sure his look scarred me for life." Duel said.
"Still gross as all hell." Stated Skull. "First a pervy king, now a snobby shogun, or whatever the hell you are?!"
"I am the greatest master of the arts in history, Ichiryusai Madarame. And this..." The shadow motioned to the room around them with a grand sweeping motion with both arms. "Is my museum."
Yusuke took a labored step forwards, still seeming to be winded from sprinting under the added strain of being in the Metaverse. Nevertheless, the pleading look he sent in his Sensei's direction was full of emotion.
"This... this is all some sort of act, isn't it? It has to be, right Sensei?!"
The shadow stared him down, and then burst out into laughter. Wicked, maniacal, laughter. "What, like the ratty clothes and run-down shack is any more believable? That's the act, thank you very much!"
"Some setup you've got going. I assume the rumor about that painting getting stolen is bullsh*t you stirred to sell more of your bootlegs?" Duel spat.
Shadow Madarame looked at him, slightly impressed. "Oh my, I thought you'd all be too naive to understand my genius scheme! Well, you're quite correct. I approach the suckers of the art collecting world and feed them some crap about how I finally located the real Sayuri, but can't go public with it, so I thought I'd sell it to you for a special price! They all eat it up!"
"Oh, I've got tons of naivety to go around, don't you worry!"
"Well, not like that matters. None of you could ever think up a scheme as genius as mine!"
"I literally just thought of it too, dumbass."
Meanwhile, Yusuke looked like he was about to faint. He whimpered in disbelief, and his legs gave out under him in sheer despair and exhaustion. Thinking fast, Duel caught him and let him lean on his shoulder.
"How the hell can you say all that with a smile?!" Skull shouted. "You're no artist, all you do is con people!"
The shadow shot the group a sick, twisted smirk. "Well, the con artist still is an artist, is he not?"
"But people look up to you! People are inspired by your work, and you are seriously alright with lying to their faces like this?!" Cried Yusuke, starting to sound angry.
Madarame shrugged. "It's all marketing, at the end of the day. Supply and demand, buzzwords, an established brand... it's all the same as any other industry!"
"I see Yusuke was right about this place being a manifestation of your never-ending greed." Growled Joker. "And I'd expect nothing less from the eye of a real artist."
Yusuke turned his gaze downwards. "I have been living under your roof, for nearly my entire life, and I was completely fooled... I'm so ashamed of myself."
Duel looked over his shoulder at him. "What?! Don't be, he's the scumbag here, not you!"
Madarame laughed again. "Right! Don't blame yourself, Yusuke! After all, it's much easier to train and manipulate a child to bend to my will than an adult! Plus, if I say one bad thing about them, they'll have no career ahead of them! No professional experience and a smear on your record from a widely-recognized master like me?! They don't have a single card to play against me!"
The student squeezed his eyes shut. "You arrogant, disgusting wretch." He said through gritted teeth.
"Well, think whatever you want. Now, guards, escort them out of the museum. In fact, escort them out of the realm of the living while you're at it, will you?"
"I have to say, it's a bit funny." Chuckled Yusuke, removing himself from Duel's shoulder and staggering forward. The shadow guards seemed to hesitate, being suddenly intimidated.
"I knew, deep down. I knew somewhere within me that you were lying to my face, day after day. I knew your eagerness to display the work of others as your own wasn't right. I knew. But you were the one who raised me, so I turned a blind eye to all of it. I even lied to myself, as backwards as that sounds. But here I am, hearing the truth with my own two ears in a place far stranger than the surrealist works of painters like Salvador Dali."
His eyes wandered up to the Infinite Spring sculpture that stood tall and proud behind Madarame. Yusuke smiled, despite the situation they were in and what he was facing.
"That's why it's amusing, that I'm finally being grounded in the least grounded place I've ever seen in my life. I know what you sound like when you lie, even if I chose not to listen until now. I can't bring myself to do that anymore. Not even for the man I looked up to all this time."
He made himself stand up straight, and despite the fiery rage he expressed, his gaze towards Madarame was as cold as ice.
"No, I'm now ready to face your true, repulsive self head-on, Sensei!"
A wave of power tore through the room, just like when Skull and Panther gained their personas. He wasn't entirely sure, but Yusuke's almost felt stronger, making him reposition his feet or risk getting knocked over. A few of the shadow guards even staggered back a bit.
Yusuke himself, however, dropped to his knees, clutching the sides of his head. Shadow Madarame's eyes widened in panic.
"Guards, what are you waiting for?! Get rid of these damn thieves already!" He shouted to them, and they sprang into action. Shedding their forms as suited security guards with heart-shaped masks, the party was faced with a horde of bird dudes led by one big, scary, uh... zombie blacksmith? With one leg?
Whatever, they didn't have time to figure out what it was, unless they wanted to get f*cking killed while working it out. Joker summoned his knife and positioned himself in front of Yusuke.
"Everyone, don't let Yusuke get hurt while he's vulnerable!" He shouted to the others, making a sizeable gash in one of the bird dudes that had swooped for him.
Duel summoned his cane. "Got it!" He said, summoning Daroach and lobbing a fireball at the approaching blacksmith. It swatted the thing away, undeterred.
"Sh*t, fire's out for the big one!" He yelled over his shoulder.
Mona hopped into the air, and shot a miniature cyclone at the blacksmith with Zorro. "Yeah?! Then let's see how it likes my wind!" He mewed smugly.
The enemy rolled its eyes, and held up its hammer. When it was about to hit the thing, it swung down and sent it right back to the cat.
"Oh." His smile fell, before taking his own attack straight to the gut and getting thrown to the side by it with a yelp of pain.
Almost getting distracted enough to get nailed in the face by one of the bird guys, Skull glanced over at the cat on the ground. "Mona!"
Joker grunted. "This isn't good, we've got one less person shielding Yusuke from this. Let's hope he gets up soon-"
"COME, GOEMON!!!"
The shadows froze, staring at the pillar of blue flames that suddenly burst into existence behind the Phantom Thieves with a combination of curiosity and fear. The thieves themselves whipped around, looking expectantly at Yusuke and his awakened persona.
Goemon took the form of what looked like a samurai, but it seemed to wield (and smoke at the same time) a ginormous pipe rather than a sword or bow. Its face was mostly a pearly white, with the exception of the jet-black eyebrows and solid red eyeliner below its absolutely massive pompadour. It wore deep navy robes, and closed out the outfit with the f*cking tallest platform sandals Duel had ever seen in his life.
Yusuke himself, now donning a similarly navy-colored outfit with an impressively large collar, tall white boots, and cyan gloves ahead of his puffy sleeves, raised his head up high. He took a battle-ready stance, steadying one leg and stamping the foot of the other, and held out one hand.
"You... I only have one thing to ask you." He began softly, before raising his voice to a booming shout. "How many lives have you ruined before they truly began? How many children did you take in, not out of the goodness of your heart, but to use them for money and fame? How many did you throw away when they were no longer profitable for you?!"
Madarame just glowered at him.
"Well, there's no real need for you to answer. Now that I know the man you truly are, I will bring you to justice, NO MATTER WHAT!!!"
A long katana materialized in the air with another puff of blue fire, its hilt right where Yusuke had been holding his hand out. He grasped it, and placed his other hand on the sheath of the sword.
The palace ruler's eyes widened at the sight of the sword, and turned to bellow at his guards some more. "What the hell are you all doing?! Kill them already!!!"
Startled into action, two of the bird dudes went above the other thieves and dove straight for Yusuke. Remaining completely calm despite this, he simply unsheathed the sword, swinging out in a wide arc. A blast of cold air filled the room, and somehow, with some crazy attack that was too fast for Duel to even see, the two halves of each bird dude were already dissipating in mid-air as the remnants of an ice attack showered down to the floor.
"Holy sh*t..." Was all he could get out. Joker nodded in awe.
"Well... let's see what you got, Yusuke." He said with a smile, stepping aside and letting him take the center stage.
Yusuke smirked at the remaining shadows, and stepped forward.
"With pleasure."
Notes:
YEAH BABEY YUSUKE PERSONA TIME!!! Now we get to Really get into the Scott and Yusuke friendship, or as I like to call them, weirdos in arms. And I am HYPE about that!!
Also, heehoo palace symbolism go brr. That bit in the courtyard was real fun to write, hehe
See you all next week!
Chapter 31: I Like Pissing Off Corrupt Artists. Sue Me! (I Should Really Stop Ending Sentences With That...)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Jesus, first we get someone who's way better at fire, now we've got someone who's way better at ice than I am?!
Yusuke made very quick work of the remaining bird guys, before single-handedly finishing off the blacksmith with a physical attack that had been enhanced by Goemon, possibly thanks to the bit of damage they'd dealt to it earlier.
Still, the follow-through of his swing was apparently more than he could handle after just awakening his persona, which had sapped his energy that already wasn't great thanks to having been in the Metaverse for a while now. He stumbled, and fell to one knee.
Madarame's shadow scowled down at him. "You'll regret this day for the rest of your life, Yusuke. Any hope you ever had in making it as an artist, all destroyed. And it was by your hands, no less. Remember that." And with that, he walked away without another word.
The student tried to lurch forward towards his master, but only succeeded at almost making himself fall flat onto his stomach. "Madarame!" He shouted, but the master didn't look back. Yusuke finally let himself droop his shoulders, too drained to keep them up.
"Dammit, I need to go after him! I need-"
"Wait! You aren't going to catch up to him like that, Kitagawa-kun!" Panther cut him off.
"But-"
"Yeah, we can come back." Said Duel, approaching Yusuke and holding out a hand to help him up. "Going after him now's just gonna make him turn you into his personal blood dispenser."
The student let out a low, annoyed grunt, but took Duel's hand anyways. "...I suppose so."
"Never mind Madarame, we need to scram before more guards show up!" Mona yowled up at them.
"Yeah." Joker said with a nod. "Besides, we're going to need to explain things to him, once we're out of here."
"...That would be useful, wouldn't it?" Yusuke admitted.
Maybe we should have sprung for somewhere with bigger tables...
After getting the f*ck out of the Metaverse, Ren had suggested filling Yusuke in at the same cafe he and Scott had talked to Ann in just before she joined the Phantom Thieves. Instead of a tiny corner table, the group had opted instead for a full booth. Which definitely wasn't meant to hold five people and a cat-filled bag. Thankfully, Morgana got a spot on the table itself, but the cafe OGs weren't as lucky.
Ann was given a slight advantage in the form of the spot on their side of the booth closest to the end of the table, and Ren got the middle spot, which was cramped but still looked manageable. Which, of course, left Scott squished up against the wall. Wasn't great, but he would just have to deal. At least Ryuji and Yusuke had some breathing room on the other side of the booth...
"...And that's basically all of it." Ren said, concluding his summary of who they were and what they'd done before now.
Yusuke nodded, surprisingly composed about all this. "And that's what led that PE teacher to turn himself in? Incredible."
Ryuji grinned. "Yep! That was aaall us!"
"Phantom Thieves that steal the hearts of evildoers and make them confess what they'd done... my mind's still catching up to that even being possible."
"Well, here we are." Ren stated with a smile.
"You know, it's odd... when I had finished the piece of mine that was to be on display at Sens- Madarame's exhibit, I had more of an emotional attachment to it than I normally allowed myself to form. I knew full well what it would be used for, but I went above and beyond with it. So, when it was finally time to put the venue together, and I put my piece on the wall alongside a completely misinterpreted description..." Yusuke sighed before continuing.
"I was so close to facing the truth that night, but I still passed it off as a silly emotional outburst come morning. But I had seen murmurs of the thieves that had been behind that teacher's confession, often accompanied by a link to a fan-made website for you all. And, in that moment of clarity, I sent in a message to vent my frustrations with. And now, by some twist of fate, I'm right here sitting at a table with the Thieves themselves."
Ann's eyes widened. "Wait, that was your message?!"
"Yeah, that's why we started poking around in the first place. They check that site, you know." Scott pointed out, raising an eyebrow in Yusuke's direction.
"You should really be doing that too, you know." Added Ren, before turning back to Yusuke. "But yeah, it's true. We'd actually received another tip before that, which gave us a name, but your message really convinced us to go take a look."
Yusuke just blinked, and then let out a light chuckle. "I see. Well then, I'm eternally grateful to you for seeking out the truth."
"So you knew what Madarame was doing? Why'd you push us away like that, then?" Asked Ann.
The artist sighed. "Of course I knew, I'm not a complete fool. I was fully aware of the plagiarism, of course, and for years now strange people would come over and do hushed dealings with Madarame that I was not allowed to ask about. As for why I pushed you away... it's because I knew you were right. I wasn't ready to admit it, but I knew everything you were saying was true."
"What I don't get is, why didn't you?!" Ryuji exclaimed, exasperated but not angry at Yusuke.
"Keep it down, moron!" Morgana hissed at him, slightly poking his head out of Ren's bag. "People are gonna start eavesdropping if you yell like that!"
"You keep it down! We'll get kicked out if anyone realizes we've got a-"
"Hey." Ren shot a warning glance at the two of them. "But Ryuji's got a point. Why didn't you want to face the truth?"
Averting his gaze, Yusuke looked ashamed as he answered. "He's my artistic hero, having painted the piece that inspired me to become an artist myself. That, and I owe him greatly for all he's done for me over the years."
"You mean, for basically being your adoptive dad?" Asked Scott.
Yusuke nodded. "Yes. I never actually knew my real father. I don't remember anything about my mother, but from what I can tell, she was acquaintances with Madarame. He assisted my mother until she died suddenly in some sort of accident when I was three years old. Since then, he's taken up the mantle as my guardian. I didn't want to think someone I loved as a father could ever do something so horrible, and convinced myself that those transactions I saw must have had a reasonable explanation, but when I saw that storage room..."
He clenched his hand on the table into a fist. "To think that not even his greatest work was safe from that greed he kept so well-hidden... he's a disgrace to the art world, misusing the Sayuri like that." He said through gritted teeth.
"So, what will you do now?" Ren asked, tilting his head to the side a bit.
"In the long run, I'm not entirely sure. That said, I'd like to ask you something on that subject matter. You were pursuing Madarame in order to change his heart, correct?"
"That's right."
"Then allow me to join you in your efforts as the Phantom Thieves. Now that you all have allowed me to finally face the truth, I want that man to face consequences for what he's done. That is, if you'll have me."
"Of course you can join us!" Ann grinned. "What kind of jerk says no to that?"
"Yeah, be a real dick move to just make you sit out on this. I mean, this is your old teacher we're talkin' about!" Added Ryuji.
"He'd be a great addition to the team! Now we've got two whole ice users, and Yusuke's a real strong one at that!" Morgana mewed in agreement.
"Yeah, yeah, his ice is way better than mine, no need to rub it in..." Scott grumbled.
"We'd love to have you." Ren smiled, and held out his hand for Yusuke to shake.
"Wait, before we make this official..." Scott pushed Ren's hand down and glared at the new party member.
"Can video games be art?" He asked in a deadly serious tone.
Yusuke thought for a moment. "I'm not exactly familiar with the medium, I must admit. However, I believe anything can be art if an artist's passion is present in the process of creating it."
Scott nodded in approval, and let go of the leader's arm. "Okay, he's cool."
Ren rolled his eyes and chuckled, and sealed the deal with a handshake. "Welcome to the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, Yusuke Kitagawa."
-EVENING-
The little bell above Leblanc's door rang as Ren and Scott walked in, making Sojiro look up from his crossword puzzle.
"Ah, you're back. You two better not be out there causing trouble, got it?"
Scott furrowed his brow, annoyed. "Huh? I just walked in, and you're already chewing us out? It's not even that late yet!"
"Yeah, well, it's late enough that the cafe's closed already. Besides, I don't want either of you forgetting that if you cause any trouble at all, you're both getting kicked to the curb."
"We understand that, don't worry." Ren said before Scott could argue any more.
With a shrug, Sojiro just went back to his crossword. "Sorta my job here to worry, you know..." He grumbled. "Oh, and Scott, you're on dish duty tonight. Been a pretty busy day, too."
With a sigh of exasperation, Scott made his way towards the stairs to the attic. "Lemme put my stuff down..."
"Thanks, kid. Oh, and no touching anything other than the sink and the dish washing stuff, got it? Not after last time."
"Yeah, you say that every time I do dishes..."
Instead of heading up the stairs at the same time as Scott, Ren hung back for some reason. He stared at the TV near the kitchen, eyes damn near glittering.
How the f*ck is he doing that with a face that stoic?!
"Ren, you coming up? As much as I hate to admit it, I'm not responsible for any kitchen-related injuries you get while I'm in there."
Ren snapped out of whatever trance he'd been in. "Oh, uh, I'll be right up. Just gotta make a quick call..."
Scott simply shrugged. "Whatever."
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
Ann added Yusuke to the group.
[Ren] Hey, welcome to the team chat.
[Ann] yeah!! this is where we keep in touch outside of in-person meetings
[Ann] which, by the way, our current meeting spot's the walkway overlooking the crossing in Shibuya station :)
[Yusuke] Thank you for having me.
[Yusuke] I was a bit worried things would be tense, after I tried to push you away like that...
[Ren] Of course not. We aren't going to turn our backs on anybody in need of our help.
[Ryuji] uh can i just make clear though
[Ryuji] were dropping the nude painting thing, got it??
[Yusuke] If you insist...
[Yusuke] I'm still not sure why you showed up instead of Takamaki-san, however.
[Ann] you aren't???
[Yusuke] I'm not. Life and figure painting involving nudity is entirely non-sexual.
[Yusuke] Isn't that common knowledge?
[Ryuji] no the fuck it isnt?????
[Ann] and even if it was! it was really scary just to get hit with that ;-;
[Yusuke] ...I suppose I failed to take that into consideration.
[Yusuke] My apologies, Takamaki-san. I didn't mean to cause you discomfort like that.
[Yusuke] I was blinded by the potential of the piece I'd be able to make with you as my model...
[Ryuji] man. you dont think about anything other than art, do ya?
[Yusuke] I must admit, Ryuji, that must have taken a lot of courage to do that for a friend, despite the risks.
[Yusuke] Also, you make an impressively convincing Ann.
[Yusuke] That said... Takamaki-san, if you ever find yourself able to do it comfortably...
[Ann] drop it!!!
[Yusuke] Fair enough.
[Yusuke] Oh, and I should probably mention that Madarame is planning on pressing charges on all of you.
[Ryuji] wait what??????
[Scott] Man. What a message to get back from dish duty to
[Scott] I guess now that the modeling thing is off, we needed another threatening deadline breathing down our necks to replace it...
[Ren] That's pretty extreme...
[Ren] Wait, does this include me? I wasn't even at the shack when you guys found the counterfeit paintings.
[Yusuke] It does, yes.
[Yusuke] Thankfully, he doesn't think that I am conspiring with you.
[Ann] he doesn't? that's a relief :)
[Ryuji] so what does he think??
[Yusuke] He believes I ran after Ryuji in pursuit, acting as a head-start for the security team.
[Yusuke] There's a complaint towards the security company for incompetence being filed as we speak, actually.
[Yusuke] He finds it ridiculous that they couldn't catch a couple high school students, if I understand right.
[Ryuji] heheh, he has no idea what weve got up our sleeves >:)
[Scott] So, lemme guess. Hes gonna wait till the exhibit ends to actually sue our asses
[Scott] Something, something, public image, something, something, scandal?
[Yusuke] Yes, actually. That's exactly right.
[Scott] Then our deadline's still the same.
[Ren] Seems like it.
[Ryuji] so our plans the same too then!
[Ann] yeah, but things will be way worse if we mess up now!
[Ann] especially for Ren and Scott, they don't have any wiggle room for something like that :(
[Ryuji] shit. Yeah that's also true
[Scott] Look, as long as its not a tax audit, im still pretty confident.
[Ren] That's one way of looking at it.
[Yusuke] Oh, I wanted to ask.
[Yusuke] What was the... cat-like thing at the diner?
[Scott] Cat
[Yusuke] Well perhaps, but it was talking.
[Scott] Yeah, he does that
[Ren] He's the one that looks more akin to a miniature mascot while inside a palace.
[Yusuke] They're the same being? Interesting.
[Scott] Oh and other times he turns into a bus!
[Ryuji] just dont call him a cat to his face, hell get pissed :/
[Scott] Yeah, he insists hes a human that got f*cked up by the metaverse
[Scott] And that whatever f*cked him up also gave him amnesia
[Scott] He looks like he isn't lying, but I'd be really surprised if he was Actually Right
[Yusuke] I see...
[Scott] There's absolutely some twist were gonna get about what the f*ck he is lmao
[Ren] I think we should cross that bridge when we get to it.
[Ann] yeah, no point in borrowing future trouble :)
[Ryuji] yeah, too tired to really think about it anyways
[Yusuke] Same here. I'm unusually exhausted tonight...
[Ren] Being in the Metaverse will do that to you.
[Ren] We've gotten somewhat used to it, but you should rest up.
[Ryuji] OH FUCK
[Ann] what is it??? did the security guys find your house??? or did the student council girl follow you home???
[Ryuji] IVE STILL GOT ON THE MAKEUP FROM PRETENDIN TO BE YOU???
[Scott] You didnt notice??
[Ann] wait that's it???
[Ann] don't break up stuff like that!!! you scared me half to death!!!!! >-<
[Ryuji] but like that means the whole diner saw me in full makeup right???
[Scott] That depends on how many people were looking in our general direction!
[Ryuji] oh god..............
[Ann] I put a pack of makeup wipes in one of the front pockets of your bag while I was setting you up. it gets everything off pretty cleanly for me, and I used all my usual makeup on you.
[Ann] dammit Ryuji!!! how am I gonna sleep now that you got me freaked out like that??? >:(
[Ryuji] i dunno, white noise???
[Ann] gaaah!!!
[Ryuji] uh im hitting the hay
[Ryuji] gnight!!!!!
[Ann] get back here!!!!!
--END LOG--
--5/20-DAYS UNTIL LEGAL ACTION:16--
-LUNCHTIME-
...There's no way that's right.
Exam grades were out, and Scott was near the very bottom. Even with the grade rankings aside, he'd only barely passed. But how'd that happen?! He was so confident in his answers! Ren winced next to him, seeming to finally spot his name after needing to search pretty far from the above-average grade he'd gotten.
"Come on, you don't think I'd really flop that hard, right?! They probably got my exams mixed up with Dumbass-In-Tests McGee."
"Can't mix your exams up with somebody that doesn't exist." Ren stated with a shrug.
Look who's talking??
Scott just sighed. "Whatever, all that matters is I passed. Do we get the tests back? I wanna count the points for myself."
"I think Miss Kawakami is going to pass them out later today."
"Good. I'm not letting any score get shafted by someone else f*cking up! NES Jeopardy or not!"
"...Good luck with that."
-AFTER SCHOOL-
"There's no way that's right!" Scott exclaimed as he skimmed through his tests. Page after page of incorrect answer marks, notes saying things like "what?" and "huh?" and even the occasional "???"
After putting away her own graded exams in her binder, Ann turned around in her seat to look at Scott. "What, do you think Miss Kawakami misgraded something?"
"Well, yeah! How else am I supposed to explain these totally correct answers that are mysteriously marked wrong?!"
Ren looked at Scott in puzzlement. "Seriously? What were your answers?"
After letting out an irritated groan, he started reading off a random question from the top sheet in his hand.
"Okay, there's this one from biology, right? ‘Although the line connects A to C, it looks like it leads to B instead. What is this phenomenon called?" I put the obvious, ‘some really funky sh*t,' and it was marked wrong!"
Neither of them had any idea what to say to that. "...And are all of your tests graded like that?" Ren eventually managed to ask.
"Yeah! On math, there was the one about how many colors you'd need to paint Japan so no two touching areas were the same color? Apparently you only need one, because ‘at least two' isn't right?!"
"Well, you aren't exactly wrong about that..." Ann admitted.
"Exactly! And what's more, I didn't even write any of the answers that got marked right! Like, I distinctly remember putting down that evil is born from jackasses, but now it says ignorance?! It's not even my handwriting, lemme find it..."
As Scott started shuffling through his test papers looking for the social studies exam, a small note that apparently had been nestled into the pages fluttered to the floor.
He slowly picked up the small slip of teal paper. "...Huh?"
Ren stood up to look over his shoulder as he turned it over to reveal the English text written in purple gel pen.
"You're welcome.
- A.M."
"...Odd." Was all Ren stated, fidgeting with his bangs. "Any idea what it means?"
Scott squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Of course she did. Whatever, don't worry about it."
"If you insist..."
Notes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8d-KCSOJkc
Scott: Is he cool?
Ren: Yeah, he's cool.
Scott: What's your stance on video games being art?
Yusuke: Um, yes?
Scott: Yeah, he's cool.Anyways lmao. This chapter's a bit all over the place, but i'd say it has some good moments hehe :)
I feel like I had something else to say about this one... but I guess I'll have to add it in an edit when I remember it gjfdlfgjds,,
For now, see you all next week!
Chapter 32: I'm Leaving the Door Open Now! I Dunno, Air is Fun, Been on a Good Streak Lately
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/21-DAYS UNTIL LEGAL ACTION:15--
-AFTERNOON-
Man... this place never lets up, does it?
The view of the famous Shibuya crosswalk from the walkway they'd been meeting at was just as busy as it always was. Every day. All the time.
That said, now that some of the initial shock of being thrown into this sprawling metropolis (or a fictional version of it, at least) had started to wear off, this view now evoked a bit of a different feeling. Instead of thinking 'holy sh*t that many people can fit in a small area' as he stared down at the damn impressive crowds, his thought process was more along the lines of 'holy sh*t this is kinda mesmerizing.'
The way Anna May set this up, it's really hard to not forget that none of this is real, huh...?
He sighed, and thought back to the note that somehow had gotten nestled in with his graded exams the other day.
Well, still fake enough that I don't need to worry about flunking out of the school where everything in this game happens. Silver linings, I guess.
"Apologies, everyone. Did I keep you waiting?"
Getting his head out of the clouds, Scott turned from the glass wall he'd been looking at the crosswalk through and saw Yusuke approach them.
Ren shook his head. "No, not at all. You think you're rested enough to go into the palace?"
The newbie nodded his head. "Yes. I slept soundly these past couple of nights, and I'm finally ready to finally take action."
"That's the spirit, man!" Ryuji said with a grin. "I mean, being in the Metaverse and getting a persona ain't a small deal. You got some pretty good turnaround on that!"
"Oh, before we go in!" Morgana's head popped out of Ren's bag, and the cat rested his paws on the leader's shoulder. "Yusuke, we went over the bare minimum of a summary of how all this works at the diner, but do you have anything you're unclear about?"
He thought for a moment. "Well, I think I understand the idea of personas and palaces, as well as the methodology you use. The one thing I am unsure of is, how are we getting back to that strange world?"
Ryuji smirked, very eager to be able to explain something for once. "Alright guys, I got this. Yusuke, there's an app for that."
"Jesus, you sound like a geriatrics patient saying it like that." Said Scott, scoffing.
"Shaddap!"
Seeming to realize something, Yusuke's hand shot to his pocket. "Could that have anything to do with... this?"
He turned the screen to the thieves and pointed to a specific app on his home screen, and Ren nodded.
"Yeah. It seems to appear on your phone by itself if you've been to the Metaverse.
"Hold on, that ain't it. Didn't it just appear on its own for you, Ren-Ren?"
Ren hesitated to respond, perhaps unsure of where the app came from as well.
"...Ren-Ren?" He eventually asked.
'It's a nickname! Ya like it?"
"We're getting off track, guys. I dunno about you all, but I'd rather get to the infiltration before midnight!" Morgana interjected.
"Oh. Yeah, we should probably get goin'."
Yusuke nodded. "Yes, let's. If we are going to enter from Madarame's shack, you all will need to be careful to not let him see you. I've never seen anger like that from him before, and I'd rather not find out what he's willing to do now that I have..."
"We'll go into the Metaverse with enough room to stay hidden. It doesn't need to be activated inside the palace's location, after all."
Ren nodded, and pushed himself off the railing he was leaning on. "Exactly. Alright everyone, let's do it.
"This place is no less abhorrent from the outside."
Yusuke stared up at the museum that represented all of what he'd now admitted to trying to turn a blind eye to. His cyan-gloved hands balled up into fists at his sides, and his face was no doubt grim as f*ck under that ornate mask that took the form of a traditional Japanese depiction of a white fox.
Actually, now that I'm looking at it...
Before Duel could bring it up, Joker beat him to the punch.
"Hey Yusuke, before we go in, we need a code name for you. Any ideas?"
The newcomer tilted his head a bit in confusion. "Code name?"
"They sound cooler." Explained Skull.
"That is not the reason, and you know it!!!" Mona yowled, pointing one paw in his direction. Who knew pointing out how stylish something was could piss someone off?
"Well, they aren't exactly hurting our aesthetic either." Joker admitted, a bit sheepishly as he fidgeted with his bangs.
"Before this breaks out into a whole fight, That's Joker, Skull, Duel, and Mona. And I'm Panther." She explained, pointing to each of the thieves as she named them. "Now, what should we do for you...?"
"I see..." Yusuke nodded. "Your attire obviously inspired those names, but I suppose we'll have to start at the drawing board for mine."
Skull scoffed. "Yeah, yeah, very funny. Like what you've got on doesn't make it totally obvious."
He returned a blank stare to Skull before actually responding. "...What do you mean?"
"Wait, you aren't shittin' us?"
"Why on earth would I do that? What are you even talking about?"
"Yusuke. My dude. My guy." Duel deadpanned, walking over to him and putting one hand on his shoulder. "Have you looked down at yourself in the past five minutes or so?"
"I haven't, why do you- oh!"
"Now ya get it."
The artist seemed to look over the outfit on him, twisting and turning himself a bit so he could see parts like the back or the katana resting on his belt. After a bit, he finally gave a satisfied nod, seemingly to the outfit itself. The way the faux fur tail behind him swung about from its tether on Yusuke's belt (which Duel hadn't even noticed earlier in the midst of all the ass-kicking) was making him look like a puppy chasing his own tail.
"Yes, that does make thinking of a code name much easier. Well then, how about... Da Vinci?"
Skull's face fell. "Dude, that isn't even related to your damn outfit..."
"I am open to suggestions, if you have any better ideas."
Panther hummed. "Well, the obvious choice would be Kitsune, wouldn't it?"
"Gesundheit." Said Duel.
"Nah, that's too obvious. How about Abura-age? Like, the stuff that goes on top'a kitsune udon?" Skull asked.
"Clown." Joker stated simply, without following it up with any sort of elaboration.
He shook his head. "No, not Clown. It could be too easily mixed up with the Joker alias you use."
That's the part you're objecting to?!
He couldn't just let this atrocious brainstorming session languish, so Duel finally threw his own hat into the ring.
"How about Ye Olde Star Fox?"
Mona grimaced. "Well, it's still better than Tums..."
"Yeah, and that was better than f*cking Heterochromatic!"
"Let it go already!" The cat had to take a deep breath before continuing. "How about we just go with Fox? I mean, it's simple and a bit obvious, but it still sounds nice and fitting for him."
"Fine by me." Fox stated with a nod.
"Wait, really? I was thinkin' you'd want something all grand and artistic sounding." Said Skull, a bit puzzled.
"While the written word is a medium in which countless creators have managed to capture beauty in, I am not one of them. My artwork is visual, first and foremost."
Fox went quiet, and stared up at the museum for a second.
"...And besides. We have more important things to be doing."
It took a bit to return to the courtyard that held the door they had to open by means of the real world. Everyone other than Fox let out a sigh of relief when they saw that the laser panel system was still down, and that the door still sat wide open.
Joker turned around to address the team. "Okay, everything past this point is pretty much uncharted territory for this place. Panther and I have seen a little bit of the room ahead, but I can't say I'm anywhere near familiar with it."
"If my senses don't deceive me, I'd say we're officially halfway through to where the treasure resides!" Added Mona. "I'm guessing the security systems are gonna keep getting more complex, but hopefully they won't need to be opened in the real world like this door did."
Nodding, Joker turned back towards the huge open door with a flourish. "With another team member being here to help, this'll be a piece of cake. Now, come on!"
What a showoff...
Duel entered the next section of the museum with the others, but not before lightheartedly rolling his eyes at the cheesy pep talk.
"Duel, can I ask you something?"
While hugging a wall and double checking the way ahead was free of guards, Fox had suddenly piped up behind him.
The question caught him off-guard, and Duel hesitated before saying anything back.
"...Me?" He questioned, turning back to Fox and pointing at himself.
Fox chuckled softly at that. "I don't see any other Phantom Thieves that go by the code name of Duel around here."
"All clear." Joker called to the others, signalling them to follow him. "More than one Duel, huh? I'd like to see that."
"Yeah, yeah, dumb question. What's up?"
"Mona told me that the paintings here are all... how he perceives his pupils, correct? And as objects, no less..." Muttered Fox, looking at one of the portraits that covered so many of the palace's walls.
"That sounds right, yeah. But if this is about 'em, why aren't you asking Mona about it?"
"I did, at first. He simply said that he was a handsome navigator, not a mind-reader... but you have an eye for art, so I thought you might be able to confirm my suspicions. Why do you think so many of the portraits here lack any sort of face, even though one is clearly supposed to exist?"
Duel thought for a moment at that. That was a good point, actually. Initially he wrote it off as a way to simplify the textures the devs would have had to make, but if one of the characters was addressing it, then it probably wasn't a simple matter of optimization.
"If I had to guess, maybe it's that he barely remembers his past pupils? He's gone through so many, they might all be blurring together for him." He finally responded.
Fox sighed, and nodded. "Just as I thought, then. That was my theory as well, but I wasn't sure if my emotions were at all clouding my view."
"That's good to know, but where's this coming from? You look like a guy who just got a haunted memory card with nothing but f*cking Odama saves."
It was true. Fox was staring at some of the portraits, ever-so-slightly trembling. He squeezed his eyes shut, and took a deep breath.
"I was thinking about how despicable a mindset that is. To plaster the walls of his heart with trophies of the dreams he's hunted down."
...Is that it?
He couldn't be sure, but it seemed to Duel that Fox wasn't saying everything on his mind.
...But at the same time, it wasn't his place to ask about it, either.
This isn't my place at all, dammit!
"Yeah, it's f*cked up." Was what Duel finally settled on saying.
"Hey!" Skull's surprisingly distant voice called out to the two of them. "You slowpokes comin' or what?!"
Skull stared at the brochure map of the museum in his hands as they walked. "Is it just me, or have we gone through every damn corner of this section and found no way forward?"
Joker hummed, furrowing his brow. "No, I think you're right. This is all familiar, and I don't think there's any hallways I was saving for later..."
"But there's gotta be more, right?" Asked Panther. "I mean, this map's still got more sections on it!"
"Then it has to be around here somewhere, and all we need to do is find it."
"So the real question is where that path is, or perhaps even what that path is." Fox muttered, one hand on his chin.
Okay, simple enough, just some sorta hidden pathway puzzle! So we're looking for something that isn't a doorway or portal but could act as one, that won't look out of place here...
"Shit, where'd Fox go?!" Cried Skull, whipping his head all around looking for his teammate that was mysteriously not walking with the rest of the group all of a sudden.
Panther's eyes lit up. "Oh! He's just back there!"
Sure enough, Fox was a few paces back in the direction they'd been coming from. He was staring up at an absolutely massive painting, a bamboo garden landscape in a sea of portraits considering what they'd seen so far.
Jesus... it's so crooked, it's clipping through the f*cking floor-
Oh sh*t, of course!!!
"Guys, I know how we're gonna get through here!" Duel grinned, and dashed over in Fox's direction.
"Duel?" He blinked at him, puzzled. "What do you mean? Did you think of-"
He skidded to a stop a few feet back from the front of the huge painting, with a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Watch this!"
After getting a running start, Duel leapt into the air in the painting's direction, getting some impressive air for someone who wasn't at all a sh*t giver in terms of physical activity.
"Heeere we go!!!" He exclaimed in mid-air.
The other Phantom Thieves had caught up just in time to watch him eat sh*t on the side of the canvas... until he didn't.
If you had asked Duel to describe how it felt to enter the world of a painting Mario 64 style, he probably would have no idea how to put it. For a minute, before figuring it out thanks to being somebody who makes a hobby out of not shutting up. It was probably something akin to your stomach dropping just as a rollercoaster starts its descent after hanging out at the peak of the first section. Actually, it was pretty similar to the feeling of entering a subsection of Mementos for a sidequest, but mostly just the disorientation without the whole feeling of dread that came with it.
Duel managed to land on his feet somehow, although he had to stumble around a little to keep his balance. Once he was sure he was solidly on the... ground-adjacent surface, he turned back to the others with a triumphant smirk on his face. The view out was a bit wobbly, but Duel knew they all had to look shocked at the crazy sh*t they'd just witnessed.
After a red glove poked through the surface of the painting tentatively, Joker stepped into the painting as well as the others followed close behind.
"Damn..." Mumbled Skull as he looked around the painting's world in awe. "How the hell'd you figure that out, Duel?!"
"Come on, any stupid Nintendo game talker is legally obligated to have played Super Mario 64 before they're licensed to say a damn thing about 'em."
"You have a license for that?" Joker raised an eyebrow.
"Of course I do! The f*ck kind of person you take me for?!"
"Come on, let's move it along!" Mona interjected, annoyed.
Joker looked down at him. "Oh, good idea. Well, that path looks like a good place to start."
Turning where Joker was pointing, Duel finally looked around and got a sense of what hell this painting actually was. Despite the entrance method, the area looked way more like he'd just stepped into the world of Okami rather than Mario 64. The path ahead slanted upwards, possibly thanks to the crooked angle the frame hung at, nestled at each side of the bamboo planted all around. In the distance, a solid sunset-orange sky topped the place, and the horizon held countless rolling hills.
"Looks promising to me." Said Fox, but as soon as he stepped towards the path, a booming voice with no clear source echoed out all around them.
"Bah! A ragtag group of grubby kids dares to set foot into my perfect bamboo garden?! You shall not get away with this!"
"Uh, do we need to be worried about that?!" Skull cried in Mona's general direction.
The cat rolled his eyes. "Relax, that's probably just one of Madarame's thoughts. There's nothing else in here, as far as I can tell."
"Then we should be good to go." Joker stated, taking the lead down the path between the rows of bamboo.
"Where could this path lead...?" Fox wondered aloud, taking in every inch of the painted scenery around them. It almost seemed like the world around them began to waver more as they got further and further from the frame that led back out, which looked like a window back into the main museum planted in the middle of the ground.
Just as Duel looked away from the spot they'd started at, the entire painting around them shifted. It was like that sudden falling sensation you sometimes get while trying to fall asleep, before suddenly jolting back to being totally awake. But when the jolt hit, the group found themselves in a completely different-looking part of the garden, with a brand new off-kilter rectangle looking back out into the museum.
Skull sighed in relief. "Shit, I thought we were just gonna start fallin' for a second there..."
"Did we just fast-travel...?" Muttered Duel, realizing this area looked like an ending to the bamboo garden after the first section looked like an entrance.
"Hey guys, come look at this." Seeming to be completely unfazed, Joker called the group's attention to the new exit from the painting. Apparently, he'd walked over to it to take a look while everyone else reoriented themselves. "I think this frame is in a different location than the first. Hold on, I'll make sure."
Without even hesitating, Joker hopped out of the painting utilizing some Metaverse-powered super speed.
"JOKER!" Mona suddenly yelped, and he scampered towards the frame. "Oh man, this could be bad! He has no idea where that thing leads, he could have just gone into a huge swarm of shadows-"
"Uh, Mona?" Skull was trying to stifle a laugh, but wasn't exactly succeeding. "He's giving us a thumbs-up from the other side of the frame."
The cat stiffened, and slowly looked up at their completely un-swarmed leader. "Oh. Erm, we shouldn't dawdle like this! Come on!"
"Shit, we gotta do more of these?!" Skull groaned when they came upon a massive dead end, which also happened to be a dead end dotted with paintings on its towering walls.
The area looked to be a gallery section that was still under construction, if the scaffolding everywhere was anything to go off of. They had entered onto a catwalk partway up the wall, which conveniently gave them easy access to one of the paintings that hung right beside it.
"Looks like we need to get up there." Joker stated, pointing to another doorway. It was way higher up than the catwalk was, and didn't even have a real way to get to it. There was a separate scaffolding structure near it, but it was too far away from the one they could actually get to to reasonably jump across.
"That's gotta be our way through, just gotta jump on through!" Duel stated confidently, nonchalantly approaching the painting nearest to them.
It didn't take as long for the other Phantom Thieves to catch up to him once he was in the painting this time. The first thing Duel noticed when he entered this one was how f*cking hot it was. A sandy desert surrounded them on all sides, with the only other thing inhabiting the place being a couple painted camels chilling in the distance.
"Woe is me! This world's appreciation for the arts has completely dried up! How am I supposed to create something nobody knows how to recognize the beauty of?! It is nothing but a pointless endeavor!"
Once again, Madarame's disembodied voice boomed out all around them.
"Mona, anything nearby?" Joker asked.
"Nope. This must be another random thought we're hearing."
Skull blinked. "So he's blaming the rest of the world for his own lazy ass?! The hell kinda backwards thinking is that?!" He exclaimed.
"I don't know, but I'd rather not stay here to think it over." Groaned Joker.
Oh Christ, that leather trench coat's gotta be an oven...
"Joker's right, let's get on with this sh*t!"
"What is art, in the grand scheme of things? Its value is intangible, like the value of visiting a temple. People arrive, give up some of their hard-earned cash to receive nothing in return, and then leave entirely satisfied. My work is the same, now with a bonus frame and canvas included!"
The next painting was a mountain peak, with nothing but a lone shrine gate marking the way forward. Fox stared up at it, fists clenched.
"Sorry, did he just imply that art's really worth jack sh*t?!" Duel asked incredulously. "What about the emotional value? Does this guy just not feel anything when he looks at a f*cking masterpiece?! Don't tell me it's all marketing buzz to him!"
Fox nodded sadly. "My thoughts exactly, Duel."
He couldn't help but feel sorry for the ex-pupil. "Come on. Let's get the rest of these over with."
It's way less fun jumping around paintings Mario-style when you keep hearing this guy try and justify the sh*t he does to himself.
"The ungrateful youth of today are too short-sighted to realize they are in the best years of their life until it has already wasted away! Instead of it simply languishing and wilting, I nurture it and harvest its fruits for myself. Any plant must be pruned to grow!"
This one was the mouth of a cave blanketed in lush green vines. It was beautiful, as was the view outside into the bright blue sky, but the thoughts of the artist (or of the one who claimed to be the artist, at least) spoiled everything else about the place.
"He just admitted to using young people for his own gain..." Panther observed, voice shaking with a quiet rage. "That bastard."
The venom in her voice sent a chill down Duel's spine. He was ready to move the f*ck on.
"A ship must utilize the natural forces of nature to travel, from the wood used to build it to the wind used to sail it. It cares not for whatever sea life might lay below it, for they are so far apart that it doesn't matter in the slightest. To succeed in life, you must be able to use whatever resources you must, and you cannot slow down for the sake of those beneath you. Only those who can handle these harsh truths can make it to the helm of life's ship!"
This one was a small fishing boat in the midst of a storm. Thankfully the boat didn't actually rock like one would in real life, but it was getting cramped. Duel was willing to hazard a guess that the several tentacles enveloping half of the boat weren't attached to something friendly.
"Another one about usin' people around him... he's not even seeing 'em as people by now, either!"
"Art is nothing more than a path to achieving money and fame! Beauty for beauty's sake is nothing but a fairytale, the lifestyle that comes with my work's success is the true artwork here! The luxurious mansion I live in, the indulgent life I live... nothing is more beautiful than that!"
Fox said nothing, and simply walked as quickly as he could to this painting's exit. It was a lovely tree-lined road in the middle of autumn, the reds and oranges of the season adorning both the trees and the path.
That said, Duel wasn't really interested in the worlds these paintings held anymore. He doubted any of this was even Madarame's work given how different they all were, yet the sick sh*t going through his mind was being broadcasted loud and clear wherever they turned. He definitely didn't lag behind as Fox and the others all made for the doorway they'd been trying to get to the entire time.
"Man, I could seriously use a breather..." Skull mumbled under his breath, shoulders slumped.
Panther added in a tired groan. "I second that..."
It was all too understandable where they were coming from. Just existing in the Metaverse was f*cking exhausting, and after being forced to hear the disgusting stuff going on in Madarame's head... Duel was damn ready for break too.
"Good thing there's a new safe room right there." Joker pointed out, sticking his head out from the screen they were hiding behind.
All Fox did to respond was nod. When the nearby guard finally turned his back, the whole damn team dove for the small oasis they could finally let their guard down in.
As soon as everyone was inside and the door had clicked safely shut, Fox basically collapsed into one of the chairs. This alarmed pretty much every single person there, aside from the one that was currently one mask's thickness away from being completely face-down on the large table in the center of the room.
"Sh*t, man down!" Duel cried in the leader's direction, though by the time his slow ears caught up with his mouth and brain, he realized the guy was already in motion.
"Yusuke?!" Asked Joker. "What is it?" He was clearly trying to stay calm for everyone else's sake, but it was clear to Duel that he wasn't exactly succeeding on any more than a surface level.
Fox groaned softly from his spot on the table. "Don't worry, I'm quite alright..."
"That sure as hell don't look alright to me, dude!!!" Shouted Skull.
He finally managed to prop his head up onto his elbows, and shook his head. "No, I really am. I've worked through far worse, I can keep going."
Panther gasped. "There's no way you've worked through that, is there?!"
"Of course I have. If I am to pursue true beauty-"
Skull suddenly cut him off by slamming his fist onto the same table Fox was using as a full-body support, making him jump. "Dude, what the hell has that geezer been doing to you?! Nobody works like that!"
All Fox could muster into a reaction was a slightly surprised blink. "...They don't?"
"Hell no?! Not even Konami pulls that sh*t with their employees!" Duel added, completely shocked at what he was hearing.
"What is a... Konami?"
"They're a pretty well-known but now sh*ttily-run video game developer and publisher, especially for sh*t like the Metal Gear-" He cut himself off. "Actually, y'know what? I'm not telling you a damn thing until we're all out of here!"
"I really don't understand why you're all so ready to retreat. I can assure you, I'm fine-" Fox tried to stand up from his seat as he talked, but was cut off when the arm that had been supporting his weight slipped, making him fall pretty hard back into the chair.
Joker sighed, and offered a supporting shoulder to Fox. He gratefully took it, and managed to finally get back onto his feet.
"Yeah, there's no way in hell I'm letting you continue like this." Said Joker, with a stern glare to go with his stern words.
The team newbie froze, his face drained of all color. "You... aren't?" He asked shakily.
"No, we're all going to go back, get some rest, and come back when we're ready to. And I mean ready."
"...Oh. That's what you meant." Was all Fox could manage.
Duel could barely believe what he was seeing, which was obviously not something he was alone in, but still...
He seriously never knew people aren't supposed to work like that...?
Notes:
Happy April fool's! The joke I'm hitting you guys with today is the fact that this AU exists. /lh
God this palace is so hard to write. It's just so... first non-tutorial dungeon, y'know? I'm trying to make up for it in interactions, symbolism, and by expanding on things left mostly untouched by the game, but. Man there's only so much I can do.Which is why we see the extra bit about the cognitive paintings and Yusuke's exhaustion at the end there! I never liked how the game just sorta glosses over the abuse stuff once the plagiarism is totally uncovered, so. Here I am. We're a "Yusuke unlearning bullshit Madarame drilled into him to Maximize Productivity(tm)" household.
Also, I wanted to thank you all for all the positive attention! This fic is up to 150+ kudos and 25+ bookmarks, which like. God Damn that's a lot. I say this a lot, but I really didn't have that in mind when writing this, so it's wild to see people showing up to my funny little white guy in an RPG ramblings.
Thank you all again, and see you next week!!
Chapter 33: There's a Major Difference Between a Video Game Player and a Video Game Talker. Guess Which One I Am!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/22-DAYS UNTIL LEGAL ACTION:14--
--DAYTIME--
Scott was experiencing stupid Nintendo game withdrawal. He hadn't played any since he'd gotten stuck here an entire month and a half ago (Christ, time flies...), and more importantly, he'd barely talked about them this whole time! Yeah, he had to fix that.
It wouldn't be as good as talking about them, but he did manage to find an arcade in Shibuya thanks to some quick searching. Actually, just getting there was proving to be more difficult than finding it, thanks to the thick crowds going through Shibuya station on a Sunday. Navigating through all this sucked, but the stairs up to the square were even worse, so Scott was trying to go through the underground walkway and take the other set of stairs further in. Those not only went right up to the heart of central street, but they should also spit him out right next to the arcade he was going for (that is, if he's reading his map app right).
Maybe I should've chanced the main stairs...
Just then, above the hordes of people, he saw a beacon of sanctuary leaning against a section of wall. Deciding to take the opportunity to get the f*ck out of the crowd, Scott squeezed his way through and to the side, where Yusuke stood.
He blinked in surprise. "Scott?"
"Sh*t, I forgot what it was like to not be squeezed to death for a minute there..." Leaning against the wall, Scott took a moment to catch his breath. "Mind if I remind myself how it feels to have personal space here?"
"Of course not, take all the time you need." Yusuke said with a warm smile, before turning back to continue watching the crowd.
"What are you doing here, anyways?" Asked Scott. If he was gonna take a breather with Yusuke right there, he was at least gonna make it an interesting breather.
"Oh, merely people-watching. I find it quite relaxing, watching the commutes ebb and flow like the tides."
After turning his gaze back to the crowd, Scott could see what Yusuke meant. This place really did have a certain flow to it, which was weird to realize after being in the middle of its chaos.
"I figured you'd understand." Yusuke mused, snapping Scott out of the near-trance he'd found himself in. "You seem to have a natural knack for these things, after all."
He shrugged. "I guess so? Really, all I do is think about why things in video games are good when I'm talking about them. Apparently, that carries over to mediums without as much Luigi in 'em."
"I can't say I'm at all knowledgeable on the subject. Is Luigi someone who designs these games? A pseudonym of sorts, perhaps?"
"Jesus Christ, you seriously don't know Mario and Luigi?! They're the most iconic video game characters of all time!"
Yusuke put a hand to his chin. "Mario... that's a name you mentioned yesterday, correct? Around when we were going into the paintings to proceed."
Holy sh*t, it's worse than I thought...
"Yeah! In Mario 64, you get to different worlds by jumping into paintings around Peach's castle. That's the hub of the game, and the way everything is set up means you can get a good idea of what a world's gonna be like even before you jump in!"
"I see... that explains how you thought to try entering one. It's quite a novel concept, creating art within art."
"Right?! I'll never get people who don't think video games are art. Plus, Mario 64 seriously paved the way for basically every other 3D game that'd come after it, so it's even more impressive!"
"So this Luigi is the Da Vinci of his time. Interesting... they're both Italian names, as well. I wonder, is it really a coincidence that they're both so influential?"
Scott blinked up at Yusuke, who somehow looked completely confident that what he just said was correct. "I... maybe."
The artist let out a small chuckle. "It's strange... it's only after you realize what someone is truly like when you see the obvious."
"What?"
"Ah, it's nothing much, but I've realized something lately." Yusuke's face shifted to a grim expression. "In all the years I studied under Madarame, I heard him speak of his pursuit of beauty more times than I could possibly count. But I have never once heard him explain what beauty truly is for him. He did not attempt to even once, if memory serves."
Scott furrowed his brow. I mean, that wasn't surprising to hear, but it still sounded strange. "Not that I don't believe you on that, but... where's this coming from?"
"You may not be a practiced artist like Madarame is, but you are talking about this 'Mario 64' with more passion than he ever did with any painting. After all, I can't remember a single time when he was truly taken by the beauty he claims to so desperately search for, even after all these years."
...Not a single time?
He wasn't really sure what to say. His talks on the subject came so naturally to him, that he'd often just sit down and talk to nobody in particular just so he could let all his takes out somehow. The thought of constantly experiencing works of art like that, and just feeling nothing?
That was completely foreign to Scott.
Yusuke sighed. "But, I'm sure you didn't come here to hear me talk about Madarame. I would like to say though, it's good to see such a genuine passion for art from somebody else for a change. Especially now that I'm the only one left under that ruse of a shack's roof, it's a well-needed breath of fresh air."
He looked so incredibly sad, even though he talked about being grateful.
Dammit, there go my heartstrings again... why's this game have to go and keep doing that?!
Scott finally managed to say something. "...I could keep going if you want? I mean, there's way more game bullsh*t where that came from."
"As intrigued as I am about this subject, I presume you came to Shibuya to do something in particular? I don't want to keep you from whatever that is."
Looking back at the crowd, Scott noticed that it seemed to have thinned out a good bit as they talked. "...Yeah, I did."
Jesus, how long were we talking?!
"I'm sure the high tide of commutes will return again at any moment." Yusuke pointed out, though he looked a little bummed to end their talk there as well. "That said, we should pick this back up another time."
I don't want to just cut this off, but...
Scott sighed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. See you at the palace?"
The artist nodded. "See you at the palace, Scott."
His usual big grins hadn't been appearing nearly as often as they used to before he got sucked into this mess, but Scott still couldn't help smiling a little as he made his way through the rest of the underground walkway.
But, I guess I got to talk some stupid Nintendo games today after all. Thanks for that, Yusuke.
-EVENING-
"Ah, you're back."
Sojiro greeted him from behind the counter like he usually did, and the now-familiar scents of coffee and curry hit Scott in one big wave as he walked back into Leblanc. How the boss managed to make that scent combo actually pretty good would likely forever remain a mystery to him, but it was starting to become a bit of a homely scent for Scott. Even if he hated the thought of admitting that.
Well, maybe 'homely' wasn't the right word for it. It was more of a sign that he didn't need to worry about getting sucked into the Metaverse, or being witness to something incredibly f*cked up about Persona 5's plot, or even just the idea of being in another goddamn crowd, at least for the rest of the evening. Finally letting his shoulders relax after they had apparently been tensed up for God knows how long, Scott let out a tired but relieved sigh.
As he did, he noticed something resting on the floor near the door. After picking it up to get a better look, Scott saw it was a decently-sized cardboard box addressed to Ren. Big enough to hold a well-padded DVD case-sized game, or maybe a simpler collectors' edition, but definitely not Call of Duty: World at War levels of big. Good, that meant he hadn't fallen for the allure of the free 'canteen...'
"Huh, what'd Ren order?" He wondered aloud.
Sojiro shrugged. "Hell if I know. Take it up to the attic, will you? Don't want it getting in the way of any customers."
Always about the customers...
After responding with a vague noise of general agreement, Scott put the box under one arm and headed up.
Ren looked up from his homework as he reached their living space. "Oh, hey Scott-" He started to greet him, before stopping his sentence dead in its tracks when his eyes fell on the box Scott held. "Is that for me?"
"Uh..." Taking it out from under his arm, Scott scanned the shipping label again. "Nope, it's for Ren Amamiya. What, is 'Me' a regular here or something?"
Ren tilted his head to the side a bit, face completely unreadable. "...Can I have it?"
"Oh, yeah." Realizing he was just standing there holding it himself, Scott walked towards the work desk Ren was sitting at and put the box on its surface.
Ren's expression broke into a wide, giddy grin as he looked down at the box. "I didn't think it'd show up this fast!" He paused, and turned back in Scott's direction. "No looking."
"Huh? Why not?"
He just stared back with that same grin, now with an added mischievous glint in his eyes.
Scott didn't have the strength or the sh*ts given needed to argue. "Yeah, alright, I won't look."
With the sounds of rustling paper and plastic being unwrapped serving as ambient sound, Scott got into his pajamas and made himself comfortable in the top bunk. He was really tired tonight, way more so than he usually was. Maybe the crowds were just especially bad that day?
I mean, I did end up seeking f*cking refuge from them.
He clicked the charging cable into his phone, fell back onto his pillow, and stared up at the rafters.
It's back to goddamn high school tomorrow, too. That really sucks.
...Actually, do I even need to really try at that stuff? If Anna's messing with whatever I turn in, doesn't that mean I can just sorta coast?
Assuming that actually was her. Not like I know anyone else with the initials A.M.
Scott blinked heavily. Actually, he was too tired to think about that now. Hell, he was about to fall totally asleep despite the lights still being on in the Leblanc attic.
Closing his eyes fully, Scott let the scent of coffee and curry that permeated the attic just as much as it did the cafe, as well as the sounds of Ren tinkering with something, lull him to sleep.
A soft piano melody pulled Scott back out of his deep slumber.
That sounds... familiar...
Slowly opening his eyes, he was met with what was definitely not the Leblanc attic rafters. A heavy metal chain hung down from a deep blue ceiling that matched the walls around it that were upholstered in a fine... velvet...
Sh*t.
"Good to see that you're progressing, Scott."
Letting out an exasperated sigh, Scott sat up in spite of his unusually heavy chest and fumbled for the glasses on the nearby cart. He quickly found them, put them on, and confirmed his suspicions about who exactly was talking to him.
"What do you want, Anna May."
Anna pouted from the desk sitting past the cell door Scott found himself behind for the second time. "That's Doctor Anna May to you! How else would I be able to pull together a scenario like this?! And besides, aren't you curious about the note I left you?"
"What, you're reading my thoughts now? Is nothing sacred to you?!"
"Of course things are sacred to me. Persona 5 is sacred to me. That's why you're here."
"Okay, dumb question. Just get it over with so I can leave your exposition dungeon. I gotta say, kudos on managing to pick the color that'd piss me off the most to cover this place in."
Anna blinked in surprise. "What, you don't like blue?" She asked. "Truth be told, I'm just borrowing the look of the Velvet Room to use whenever I need to talk to you. It's fitting for how this area's normally used!"
"...Never mind. Just get on with whatever you wanna say."
"Jesus, you may have a persona that can do ice, but you don't need to give me the cold shoulder like that!"
Scott silently glared at her, and she sighed.
"I'll get on with it. Scott, to put it bluntly, you are a complete buffoon."
"Hey, I'm only a half-buffoon, thank you very much!" He retorted, allowing his cold shoulder to go down just long enough to say that.
Anna rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Point is, if I let your assignments get graded as you turn them in, you would have been kicked out of Shujin before exam results were even out. We can't have that, so I do a bit of... editorializing."
"So you're telling me I don't even need to really try on schoolwork?"
"Pretty much. Your grades aren't integral to the rest of the experience, and I don't really care if you can't answer a single question correctly on any of your tests. Just turn in whatever, and I'll take it from there."
"You could have told me that when you pulled me in here, you know."
Scott's captor shrugged her shoulders. "Hey, it's not like you asked."
"Yeah. Cool. Can you send me home now?" Asked Scott.
"No."
He let out a labored sigh, even though he sorta expected that answer. "Okay..."
"Now, before I get you back to sleep..." Anna leaned forward, and twirled some of her long and brightly-colored hair around her pointer finger as she spoke. "Any questions? That aren't about sending you home, of course."
Scott thought for a second. "Actually, yeah. What the hell even is this place? And what's with the chains?! This isn't the We Dare trailer, you know!" He smacked one of the chains with the back of his hand, making the sound of metallic clanks fill the room again.
"Good to see some real cooperation from you, Scott!" She smiled, which at least looked somewhat genuine. "Like I said, I'm just borrowing the look of this area for my purposes. The real Velvet Room is entirely separate from this one, and has a very different use overall. So no, this isn't the We Dare trailer or anything similar in... theme. I'm the guardian of virginity, remember?"
"That was a whole lotta words for a whole lotta nothing, do you not know what an answer is?" Deadpanned Scott, raising an eyebrow.
Anna huffed. "Okay, fine. This place is essentially my control room, I can pull you in here whenever you're asleep, between dream and reality, mind and matter, yadda yadda yadda. I just keep things running smoothly from here, including but not limited to making you not flunk every class. That's what I have to do the most, but still. Oh, and I watch over your progress from here, too."
Scott blinked. He looked down at himself, then back at Anna. "...Whenever I'm asleep? You know I'm awake, right?"
After rolling her eyes again, Anna snapped her fingers. A giant screen-like rectangle appeared above her head. It wasn't any sort of monitor powered by electricity, there was just a completely independent live feed hanging there in midair.
...A live feed of Scott fast asleep in the top bunk back in Leblanc, which now had the lights off for the night. His image snored softly, with Morgana curled up and sleeping on his chest.
Two of me?! No way, that's gotta be some sorta illusion-
Morgana's head suddenly shot up on the live feed, interrupting Scott's train of thought. Well, it wasn't the image of Morgana waking up that did that, but it actually was thanks to the unusually heavy spot in his chest that he'd been feeling since he got here shifting slightly when he did.
"The f*ck?-"
After quickly shaking his head, Morgana's image stood up, paced around on top of Scott for a second (definitely stepping right on at least one of his guts in the process), before finally plopping back down and curling up again.
All of which Scott felt.
"...Weird." Was all he could think to say.
Anna snapped her fingers again, and the image disappeared. "Now do you believe me? And before you ask, no, there are no entrances or exits to this area other than my ability to teleport myself and others in and out. You can't kick my ass again and force me to send you back home."
"Quit reading my thoughts!" Scott shouted. "I don't want anyone that isn't me rooting around in my brain!"
"Relax, I only hear them whenever you think that directly has something to do with me. Trust me, I don't want to hear whatever else is going on in that cranium of yours. So, now that that's out of the way..." Leaning back at the desk chair Anna May snapped her fingers again.
The same alarm bell that sounded just before he woke up on his first full day in Persona 5 sounded again, and the same overwhelming spinning feeling he had the first time hit him again. At least he wasn't standing this time.
"Oh, and Yusuke uses an assault rifle for his ranged weapon. You might wanna get him set up with that, since you're the weapons guy and everything!" Was his captor's parting message as Scott's consciousness faded. Or returned. Whatever.
Scott inhaled sharply as he shot up in bed, damn near launching Morgana off his chest. The cat's quick reflexes thankfully kicked in, allowing him to scamper off Scott before any claws got involved. Even in the low light, he could see Morgana staring at him, wide-eyed.
"What is it?!" He cried, in that weird whisper-shout for when you want to sound urgent but don't want to wake up anyone nearby.
After his brain managed to reorient itself in its half-awake daze, and fully registering that he was, in fact, in the same attic bunk bed he'd been sleeping in for the last month and a half, Scott sighed and flopped back onto his pillow.
"Nothin'. Don't worry about it." He mumbled.
Morgana walked back onto Scott and gave him a concerned look. This time, he stepped on a different gut. "That... didn't look like nothing. What, had a nightmare or something?"
"...Yeah." Scott stated simply.
Not exactly a lie, anyways...
Notes:
Behold!!! The Scott and Yusuke dynamic! God they're so fun to write together, especially Yusuke's a little confused but he's got the spirit of what gaming's all about. He's really doing his best djflksdf
Also!! Velvet Room 2: Electric Boogaloo is finally out! Complete with more "yeah I have cats irl how can you tell?" moments! Hell yeah!!!This chapter's a bit all over the place as well, but I think it works pretty well with how spending free time ingame already works! That said, we're going back to the palace next time, so I'll see you all next week!
Chapter 34: This Palace's Background is Making Me Sick...
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/25-DAYS UNTIL LEGAL ACTION:11--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
"You really didn't need to wait for me, you know." Said Fox.
They were finally back in the palace, after experiencing a slight delay in the form of a certain someone working himself way harder than he should have, especially for a newcomer. Things were always far quicker when they were retracing their steps, so other than getting interrupted by a shadow or two, they made it back to the deepest safe room they knew of in good time.
"And ditch one of the other thieves in the process?" Joker asked, clearly rhetorical. "No, we're not gonna do that. Mona, you think we're getting pretty close to the treasure?"
Mona nodded. "Yeah! I can sense there's still a bit of distance between here and its location, but I think if we're lucky, we can secure the infiltration route today!"
"Good. Let's try to get that down this time, then. That said..." He turned toward Fox. "If we end up being unable to solidify our route today, that's alright. I don't want anyone hurting themselves because they're ignoring their body. If anyone here feels like they're getting close to their limit, let me know."
Fox averted his gaze. "...I will."
"Good. Alright, let's do it."
Once he poked his head out of the door and was 100% sure the coast was clear, Joker stepped out of the safe room and motioned for the rest of the team to do the same. As everyone else followed, Duel approached Fox.
"He's not pissed at you, y'know." He pointed out, following the rest of the team at the same time as he spoke.
Fox blinked, interrupted from the train of thought he seemed to be on before Duel spoke up. "He isn't?"
"Nope. This is definitely about Madarame, probably for raising you to think it's a good idea to constantly work yourself to the bone like that."
"Oh." The guy looked a little embarrassed, even though none of this sh*t was even on him. "That's yet another important detail I failed to notice, then..."
Duel rolled his eyes. "Like that's even possible to notice with Ren. He's a big fan of being subtle with his emotions, I can't even read him half the time, and we live in the same goddamn attic!"
Letting out a deep breath, Fox nodded. "Must be quite the learning curve, then. Thank you, Duel."
He shrugged. "I dunno, I'd say chopsticks have been way more learning curved. I swear, I'm never gonna manage to get a handle on- GAH!"
Apparently, they were in a new area of the palace now. That said, Duel had no idea what that area was like, since his eyes had just been blasted by the golden light that filled the place. All the other areas had been relatively dim in comparison, with most of the headaches they induced being the result of what little light was present being reflected anywhere you looked.
This place, though? Completely blinding.
Once Duel's eyes adjusted slightly, he managed to get a decent view of the new area, even if it was while squinting hard and shielding his eyes with one arm.
"Uh... I don't think I remember this clusterf*ck of stairs on the map." He pointed out.
"That's ‘cause it wasn't!" Mona mewed. "Is the distortion here seriously that bad?! I mean, it obviously is, but jeez..." He trailed off.
Duel got what the cat was trying to get at. The place was nothing short of surreal, and it only got weirder once his eyes started adjusting to the light and returned to being able to actually see things.
Since the golden light came from all around them, this would have been merely a blinding void if it weren't for the odd, disjointed portrait-displaying structures populating it that hung in midair. They were of all different elevations, some with staircases leading up to them, and others looking completely inaccessible by normal means. Plus, just as many of the stairways scattered around simply led nowhere, abruptly ending with either a tiny landing or even no landing at all to show for it. Lines of paper screens hung in the air as well, going in all different directions, twisted in a way that looked oddly like strands of DNA.
"It's even worse than the more distorted parts of Kamoshida's castle..." Joker muttered, also squinting.
"Where the shit are we even supposed to go from here?" Asked Skull.
"I guess the only way to find out is to start looking." After eyeing a certain stairway next to where they were standing that looked like it actually went somewhere, the leader started walking.
"Looking is a generous way to put it, I can barely see through all this gold..." Panther mumbled, clearly not a fan of this section, though she followed Joker without any further complaints.
Yeah, I'm with her on that...
Traversing the area was tough, even by Phantom Thief standards. They constantly had to jump from structure to structure, or deal with changes in elevation on whatever even surface they were on, and there were still shadows patrolling the area despite the clear OSHA violations this place was f*cking riddled with. Even after all that bullsh*t, the only thing they were rewarded with was a dead end.
"Perhaps there's another possible path that we missed?" Fox wondered aloud. "Perhaps it's hidden in the surrealist decor."
Joker furrowed his brow. "None of the other platforms I could see as we went looked like we could reach them."
"Yo, guys?" Skull hesitantly interjected.
Duel crossed his arms. "Come on, it's not gonna be that obvious. My money's on there being a hidden switch or lever someone's gonna have to shoot. That, or some good old fashioned platforming!"
"...Platforming?" Asked Joker.
Instead of responding with words, He summoned his rocket launcher and rested it on his shoulder.
"No, you can't rocket jump to another platform!"
Looking a bit disappointed, Duel dismissed the RPG with another puff of blue flame.
Skull spoke up again. "Hey, we might not need to go that far-"
"That said, Duel might be onto something with the secret button idea. Something that'd make the platforms move, I'd bet." Mewed Mona. "But as for where that button is, I have no idea."
After suddenly letting out an irritated groan, Skull bent down and pulled at something. Apparently a corner of the ornate wallpaper had started to peel off, and the rest of it fell away with one firm tug, revealing a large doorway the wallpaper had been hiding.
Is it still wallpaper if it's not over a wall? Wouldn't that make this, I dunno, doorpaper or something?
He turned back to the others, crumpling up the wallpaper and tossing it behind him into the golden void. "Jesus, it's a good thing I noticed that, or we woulda been here all day lookin' for some mystery switch." Grumbled Skull.
"Sh*t, how'd I forget about passages behind walls?!" Duel exclaimed, smacking one hand to his forehead.
Joker just smiled and let out a small laugh. "You're probably right about that. Thanks, Skull."
He shrugged. "I just got lucky, y'know..."
"Are we gonna go see what's up next or not?!" Groaned Mona.
Looking up at the impressively tall doorway, Duel had no idea what to expect. Instead of being able to look through at whatever was on the other side, there was nothing but blue light.
Well, no time like the present!
Duel was the first volunteer to go through door number one and find out what was on the other side. He wondered if it'd be a $12 billiards table (if he was keeping up the game show allusions) as he was hit with the same stomach drop that'd happen whenever they jumped from painting to painting in the previous area.
...Well, this is anticlimactic.
It was just another platform in this distorted to sh*t area. In truth, Duel wasn't sure why he was expecting anything more. At the very least, he was happy he didn't fall down the stairs the door led directly into.
"Looks like we're getting to warp outside of paintings as well." Commented Joker, after getting to the other side of the passage himself.
"Not like it means much when you can barely tell which way's up..." Duel mumbled, proceeding further onto the new platform.
...Hey, what are these doing here?
Standing on oddly ordinary easels considering the rest of this palace were two Sayuris. Sort of.
"Sheesh, the geezer's just airin' out his phony laundry now? What are these shitty copies doin' here?" Asked Skull, glaring at them.
"Hold on a moment, Skull." Fox stepped forward, and scanned each painting. "One of these is a forgery through and through, but one of these, despite not being the Sayuri, is completely one-to-one with the original. It's laughable how obvious the false one is, I must admit."
"Wait, for real?" Skull stepped forward as well, and got a good look of his own. "How the hell are you supposed to tell which one's which?"
Duel blinked. "You're f*cking with me, right? You can't tell?"
Skull just stared blankly at him in response.
He let out an irritated groan. "Come on, the one with the red dress is obviously the real one! Cause it sure as f*ck ain't the one in blue!"
It was shocking to Duel that he seriously couldn't tell which one was real. Sure, other than dress color they looked the exact same, but that's a pretty big thing to not notice.
It's seriously a miracle that he pulled off tricking Fox, huh...?
After glancing back and forth between the two paintings a couple times, Skull finally thought of something to say.
"Uh... I knew that! Just makin' sure you could tell! And you passed with flyin' colors!"
He shot Duel a completely unconvincing thumbs-up, which he rolled his eyes at.
"Hey, look." Joker interjected, pointing at the painting. All of a sudden, it had begun to glow a bright golden color.
"Wh-"
Duel was cut off by the painting (or whatever it was now, he wasn't sure if it was even still shaped like a painting when this happened) launching itself up into the air and whizzing to another glowing doorway. After it passed through the one it was apparently aiming for, the glow that filled it changed from a deep blue to another shade of gold.
He sighed. "Of course we can't even get one not-gold thing around here."
Joker tilted his head to the side a bit. "Did that change something?"
After taking a few steps toward the affected door and giving it some thought, Mona nodded. "I think that door's destination just changed. It's hard to be sure, but I definitely sensed the distortion around it shift."
Duel reciprocated the nod. "Another dungeon puzzle, got it."
"Dungeon... puzzle?" Asked Fox.
"Oh, he just says shit like that sometimes. You get used to it." Skull told him.
They weren't exactly checking any unchanged blue doors before going for the painting puzzle that always appeared near them, but they kept getting to brand-new platforms when they did, so Duel felt it was pretty safe to assume that they were progressing.
Even if it doesn't feel like it when we're getting smacked with puzzle after puzzle like this...
"So the real one was behind a fake wall this time? This palace is really mixing things up."
Just as they had been doing each time before, the real(ish) painting turned into a hazy ball of light and shot off somewhere. This time, it had flown straight down as soon as it got to the edge of the platform, and it was impossible to see where it went against the similarly blinding gold void.
"Aw, what?!" Cried Skull. "How are we supposed to follow that?!"
Panther hummed. "I guess we just go around 'till we find a door that changed? I don't think we changed all the ones coming here, at least."
"I guess that works... real pain in the ass, though."
"Well, then we better get looking." Joker stated, confidently striding off to start looking.
As everyone caught up to follow him, Fox approached Duel again.
"I'm quite curious, when did you gain such a keen eye for spotting forged works? That's a fairly specialized skill."
He shrugged. "Oh, y'know, you pick up a few things when you're trying to get not scammed by Crazy Redd."
Fox stared down at him. "...I do not know, actually."
"Oh. Yeah, I guess you wouldn't..."
"Let's put a pin in that topic for now, next to the topic of the great Luigi. I actually wanted to tell you my theory for the symbolism behind these... 'dungeon puzzles,' as you called them."
Tilted his head to the side in curiosity, Duel looked up at the artist. "Yeah? Lay it on me."
Fox put a hand to his chin as he continued. "At its most basic description, the way ahead here is revealed only when the truth is separated from the counterfeits. We're peeling away the layers of lies to clear a path, essentially."
Duel nodded as he listened. "So it's the same sh*t you've been doing. Yeah, I get that."
Fox returned a blank stare at that. "I'm not sure I follow."
"Madarame's really good at lying. I mean, you know that now, but before you really accepted that, you couldn't really see the other messed up stuff he did."
Fox looked taken aback upon hearing that. "That's..." He paused. "I think you may be onto something there."
"Which means you gotta quit beating yourself up for the sh*t Madarame did." Duel concluded, shooting a bit of a smug grin.
Yeah, he knew there wasn't any arguing with that point. It was clear Fox was trying to anyways, but he also seemed to be reconsidering his old line of thinking.
"Could be wrong, though." He added with a shrug. "It's probably a bit of a reach when we're coming from a puzzle to solve to get deeper- oh sh*t we're here."
He'd been following the rest of the group so absent-mindedly that he hadn't even realized they'd left that surrealist lightshow and were now back to a more normal-looking area. Or at least, as normal as things could get in the Metaverse. Looking up the corner they were all huddled in, Duel realized he knew exactly how deep into this palace they were.
"Wait, we're already at the treasure?!"
The room ahead was a large hall with a square platform in the center. Since things were a little more solid here, the lights were relatively dim. Like the other parts of the museum, most of the light came from what reflected off the golden walls. Guards paraded around the platform, which was itself surrounded by infrared lasers. Hell, shadow Madarame himself was even standing in front of the thing, apparently helping the guarding effort. That made sense, since what floated a few feet off the ground in the same white, hazy blob they'd seen last time had to be none other than the treasure.
Fox looked mesmerized at the sight. "Is that...?"
Eyes glittering, Mona bobbed up and down in excitement. "Heheheh... sure is! Now all we need's a calling card to make it really appear!"
"Hold on, Mona. Shouldn't we figure out how to get around all these guards and security measures before we call the route secured?" Asked Joker.
The cat stiffened, realizing he was getting too excited again. "Er... yes. We should definitely do that.
Duel looked back at the rest of the team. "Wait, we're not even done yet?!"
Panther chuckled. "Weren't you just surprised we were 'already' at the treasure?"
"...Shut up."
Craning his head around the corner to get a better look, Joker stared up at a crane stationed right above the treasure platform. It seemed this part of the museum was being renovated as well, since it was surrounded by scaffolding.
"I think I know where to start looking for our way in."
-EVENING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] oh my goddd its so nice to finally rest my goddamn eyes!!!
[Ann] right??? this palace is even more taxing than just existing in the Metaverse on its own! @_@
[Yusuke] Indeed. The never ending sea of gold assaulting your eyes with nothing to break it up...
[Yusuke] No real artist would willingly let their heart develop into something like that.
[Ryuji] i mean you arent wrong but i dont think he picked the wallpaper dude.
[Scott] Eh, he sorta did
[Scott] Picking out golden wallpaper, letting yourself be consumed by greed...
[Scott] Same sh*t, different planes of reality.
[Ryuji] i dont get... any of that
[Scott] Close enough!
[Ryuji] is it??
[Yusuke] So, all that's left is this calling card, yes?
[Yusuke] How does that process work?
[Ren] We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
[Ren] But basically, whenever we're ready, we'll make the card and deliver it somehow, making sure it's guaranteed to be seen by the palace ruler.
[Ren] Of course, it'll be once you are well-rested and ready to go. We only get one shot at this, after all.
[Ren] Aside from that, I'll make the call of when to send it, since I'm going to need to prep tools and medicine before that.
[Ren] And I'll make sure Scott's had the chance to get equipment good and ready.
[Scott] Oh sh*t right, that's on me!
[Ren] But for tonight? The top priority is to get a good night's sleep.
[Scott] Did morgana tell you to say that?
[Ren] He did, but he's also right.
[Ann] trust me, after all that, I'm sleeping well tonight!
[Yusuke] I do want to point out the first day Madarame will be free to press charges with minimal public scrutiny is June 5th.
[Yusuke] Which is an opportunity I'm sure he'll take.
[Ren] Don't worry, I'm taking that into account.
[Ren] The absolute latest day to send the calling card and carry out the plan would be the 4th, which would mean we'd need to have it ready to go by the 3rd.
[Ren] That said... Kamoshida was out of work for a while before coming in last-minute, ready to confess. I'm going to try for as much wiggle room as I possibly can.
[Scott] Honestly, I'm like 99% sure the deadline is always when the confession's gonna happen.
[Ryuji] hard to be sure when its only happened once dude.
[Scott] Just... trust me on that.
[Scott] Still would be great to get it over and done with. I need some f*cking time to Chill, dammit!!
[Ryuji] now thats somethin i can be 100% sure on!!!
[Ann] I hear that!!
[Yusuke] Same here.
[Ren] Well, for now, I just wanted to say...
[Ren] Good work, everybody. Here's to another infiltration route secured.
--END LOG--
Ren looked up from his phone, and towards Scott's spot on the top bunk bed. "Did you seriously forget you're the weapons guy of the team, Scott?" He asked with a chuckle.
"Can you blame me? There's been a ton of sh*t happening lately." Scott shot back, looking up from his own phone.
"That's true. Good thing we've got a bit of downtime to prepare with, right?"
He shrugged. "I guess so. I mean, you guys are already kitted out-"
Scott stopped that sentence short when he realized he had forgotten something.
"Oh, and Yusuke uses an assault rifle for his ranged weapon. You might wanna get him set up with that, since you're the weapons guy and everything!"
"Sh*t, I totally forgot about that tip!" Scott exclaimed, not even realizing he was saying it out loud until it was already out.
Ren tilted his head to the side a bit. "Huh? What tip?"
Dammit, Scott! Now was a pretty good time to actually shut up, you know!
"...Nothing! There's no tip! Who said anything about tips?" He blubbered out, sounding even more suspicious in the process. "Whoa, look at the time! I'm hitting the hay, g'night!"
"...It's 8PM."
Scott tried to think of something to say, failed, and instead opted to get under the blankets without actually responding.
Nailed it.
--5/26-DAYS UNTIL LEGAL ACTION:10--
-MORNING-
"Alright everyone, settle down."
Scott looked up from his random doodling in the margins of his notes (which he only still did so people wouldn't bug him for goofing off, didn't mean he had to try with them) as Miss Kawakami's perpetually-tired voice went through the classroom.
"Okay, before we actually begin with class, I have an announcement to make. The entire student body will be meeting up on the 30th at Inokashira Park to pick up litter."
Several students groaned, and general mutterings about how much of a pain in the ass this was gonna be started to float around the classroom. And Scott couldn't help but agree.
Dammit, I already spent enough time on the Pollution Patrol to even out any sinning for at least another year... besides, this environment isn't even real!
Sighing, Miss Kawakami pinched the bridge of her nose. "Look, if you're going to complain, at least don't direct it at me. I'm not the one setting this up, you know. And either way, it's a good thing to get done."
The rest of the classroom seemed to begrudgingly agree to save their complaints for now.
"Thank you. Alright, you'll need to be in your gym clothes for this, so don't forget them here. And again, that's May 30th, so next Friday. Now that that's out of the way...
Scott's phone vibrated in his hoodie pocket. Seeing Ren and Ann were both checking their phones in the seats next to him, he could take a guess as to what the notification was as he brought up the IM app.
It's like clockwork with that guy...
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] ggguuuuuuuuhhhhhhh did you guys hear the same bullshit i just heard????
[Ren] I'm guessing you're referring to the cleanup at the park that just got announced.
[Ryuji] yeah you heard it
[Ann] more damage control from the principal, more likely than not...
[Ryuji] i mean yeah, its so freakin transparent!!!!!
[Yusuke] As somebody with an outside perspective on the Shujin situation, I can confirm it hasn't been seen in the best light lately.
[Ryuji] they should probably try not hiring pervy bastards to teach kids next time! >:/
[Ren] Hopefully they've learned their lesson.
[Scott] Yeah, something tells me they havent.
[Ann] you're probably right, Scott... but I also really hope you're wrong ;-;
[Ann] no offense!
[Scott] None taken
[Ryuji] but yeah its just like how they hired that doctor to cover their asses!
[Ryuji] they scandaled themselves, i got zero sympathy for that >:(
[Ann] I don't think scandal is a verb, Ryuji...
[Scott] No, hes right, its absolutely a verb
[Ann] ...you ever go down to see Dr. Maruki, Ryuji?
[Ryuji] ah shit i forgot!!!!
[Ren] You should probably get that out of the way.
[Ren] Even if it's just to get the school off your back.
[Ryuji] i knoooowwwww
[Scott] Hey, for what it's worth, he's pretty cool!
[Scott] Not a hardass like the rest of the staff here at least
[Ryuji] not exactly a high bar...
[Scott] Definitely a very different therapy experience than what im used to
[Ann] really?
[Scott] Yeah, theres nowhere near as much volume for one
[Scott] And a significant lack of a monster to fight after a few sessions
[Scott] But ive only been in once so there's still time!
[Yusuke] Ah, yes... we all have our inner demons we must face. Quite poetic, Scott.
[Scott] No, i mean a Literal Monster
[Scott] Eh, i guess i get that outside of therapy around here anyways
[Yusuke] ...Ah.
[Ryuji] yeah you get used to that from scott
[Scott] And i apparently have to get used to you saying sh*t like that :/
[Ryuji] sure do!!! >:)
[Ren] Oh, before I forget...
[Ren] I don't think it'd be wise to send the calling card and heist too close to the cleanup day. We'll all be too exhausted to participate.
[Ryuji] i think you mean we have a reason to do it close to the cleanup day
[Ren] There's the real possibility of us getting in trouble for missing it, so no, I don't mean that.
[Ren] Plus, it'd draw attention to us that we really don't need.
[Ryuji] shit. Yeah ig youre right.
[Ren] Don't get me wrong, Ryuji, I hate this too. =_=
[Ren] But we don't have a choice in the matter, either...
[Ryuji] bluuhhhh... dont sweat it tho
[Ryuji] we could do some mementos shit today though! Keep ourselves in shape without goin too hard
[Scott] Sorry, cant come!
[Ryuji] aw
[Ann] really? do you have plans or something, Scott?
[Scott] Sorta, yeah
[Scott] Got some sh*t i gotta pick up at untouchable
[Scott] And id rather not wait till i forget again!
[Ren] Ah, I see.
[Ren] Enjoy that, then. :)
[Scott] I mean ill try??
[Yusuke] Untouchable... can't say I'm familiar.
[Ann] it's where Scott gets all our gear!
[Ann] what are you gonna get? I'm kinda curious... :0
[Scott] Youll see!!!
[Scott] Especially you, yusuke >:)
[Yusuke] You make that sound oddly foreboding.
[Yusuke] I shall be at the edge of my seat for now, then.
--END LOG--
Notes:
God that section in the palace depths was so hard to write... but next week's the park cleanup scene, so it's all good! I can't think of any major notes I have about this chapter, so... see ya next week! :)
Chapter 35: This is a Used Water Bottle. Could ya Tell?
Notes:
This chapter was was a big collab between myself and Caramellody! Pretty much the whole flow and structure was by her, I mostly did things like rephrase stuff and add some tidbits of humor, lol
Thanks for your help, fam!!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/30-DAYS UNTIL LEGAL ACTION:6--
-EARLY MORNING-
It was another totally normal morning, disregarding the inherent weirdness of Scott's current general situation. That, and they had to get up even earlier than usual since Inokashira Park was a longer trek from the nearby Yongen-Jaya station than Shujin Academy was. And they were going to be picking up trash there instead of doing normal school things.
Okay, maybe it wasn't a totally normal morning, but Scott had seen weirder.
"You have a whole day where you just clean up?" Scott asked, tying his blue hoodie to his waist. Ren nodded, as he put on his own gym uniform sweater.
"Do you not have cleanup days?"
"Eh, I mean we've got Earth Day for the one day in the entire year, but that's usually during break. If it isn't, most teachers pretty much just tell us to use less water."
"That's...not even cleaning up."
"That's what I'm saying!" Scott exclaimed.
Morgana sighed. "If you keep talking like this, you're both going to be late."
Scott gave a look to Morgana before picking up his bag and looking back at Ren. "Hey Ren, you think I'd be able to win against Morgana in a fight? Hypothetically speaking. No persona, just full on hand-to-hand combat."
"Okay then, so who would win? One Ryuji, or twenty Morganas?"
Scott looked at Ren, "What?"
"Answer the question, Scott." Ren said, with an intense look that didn't match the topic at hand at all.
Scott sighed, "Depends on who's faster. If Mona gets the first hit? Yeah, Morgana could win. At the same time though, Ryuji has Morgana's weakness, so he's definitely no slouch either."
"So....draw?"
"Sure."
"Hey! I know I'm so much better than being stuck in a stalemate with Ryuji!" Morgana complained.
"Well then, maybe you should try not being weak to electricity next time a fight between you two breaks out." Scott said with a shrug in Mona's direction, to which he simply huffed and slid back into Ren's bag. Ren himself, on the other hand, had gotten silent as he tapped Scott on the shoulder and pointed to the scene ahead of them.
"I'm sorry, But I have somewhere I need to be." a female-sounding voice stated.
"You go to Shujin, don't you? Word is some violent stuff has been going on over there. You need someone to talk to about all that?"
Once he looked where Ren was pointing, Scott immediately recognized the student. She was the one from Shujin he had seen from time to time, most notably at Dr. Maruki's office earlier that month. If he was remembering right, she had just been finishing up a session of her own when he'd walked in.
The two saw as the redheaded (crimsonheaded? It wasn't a ginger red, but more of a red red) shook her head, her voice was polite, yet had a level of sternness. "I appreciate your concern. However, I'm going to be late if I stay here any longer. If you would excuse me."
She bowed before walking away, only to be stopped by the man, who grabbed onto her wrist and yanked it towards him.
"Ah!"
"Oh, don't be so modest." the man said, looking at the student. she looked back at the man, wincing at the sight of him.
"Look, Like I said before..." She was desperately trying to keep her stern tone, but as the man leaned into her, it started to falter. The figurative red flags were waving like crazy.
"If you're so busy, I can put my number on your phone, that way you can call me when you're finally free." He stared at the girl with a creepy grin on his face, which she naturally recoiled at. Scott looked at Ren, whose face was unreadable, but he could tell the guy was ready to step in at a moment's notice.
The red-haired girl could only look at the ground, clearly terrified. "Please, stop..."
It was at that point Ren walked in, giving enough of a presence to distance the two, or at least enough to keep the man out of her face. The man, however, did not let go. That said, his attention was focused solely on Ren. He said nothing, but stared right at the man in question with a damn near murderous vibe.
Almost as if his body was moving on its own, Scott found himself walking over to the student, bumping into her just enough to make sure the man's grip was free.
"Hey, uh...." Scott realized he didn't have a name to this face yet, and thought fast. "Hey there! You're on your way to the cleanup too?" He said, in his best attempt at trying to look like he actually knew who this girl was. He darted his eyes over to Ren a couple times in hopes that she understood what he was doing, and thankfully succeeded, if the way her face lit up meant anything.
"O-oh! Wozniak-senpai! Ah, yes! I am! I think I got a bit turned around, you know me and directions... but uh, yes!"
The man looked at Ren, who seemed to have had a conversation of their own before looking back at the girl. "What do you think your deal is? as if you're anything special!" Was all he said before he stormed off. The three of them simply sighed in relief once the man had faded into the Shibuya crowds. The girl then looked at Scott and Ren, eyes wide again before bowing at the two of them.
"Oh, thank you so much! I'm really sorry for all the trouble!"
Ren looked at the student, "Are you okay, Yoshizawa?"
The girl, apparently named Yoshizawa, nodded. "Y-yes. I'm a little shaken, but I'm fine." She then paused. "A question... for both of you. What... made you two step in for me?"
There was a moment of silence, Scott and Ren looked at each other before looking back at Yoshizawa.
"I mean, you saw how all the other bystanders reacted. They just walked away. After all, they were probably busy, and I'm probably keeping you two back..." She clarified.
"Well, I don't know about Scott here, but I just couldn't not step in after seeing that. It was clear you were in distress."
Scott nodded. "Yeah, same here. I mean, Ren probably could've handled it on his own, he has a vibe when it comes to confronting people." Ren raised an eyebrow, but Scott could only shrug in response. "But y'know what they say, the more the merrier. Besides, you saw that guy! He totally crumbled at the sight of two people on your side."
Yoshizawa nodded in agreement. "I see... well, I apologize for asking something so strange. You two are headed for the cleanup as well, right?" The two of them nodded before Yoshizawa's eyes widened once more, with what looked like realization this time.
"Oh, that's right, the cleanup! I completely forgot my gym clothes at school! I'm so sorry, I haven't even thanked you two properly yet... I'll fix that when I arrive, I promise!" And with one more quick bow she ran off in the opposite direction.
"Well, that happened..." Scott said, he then turned to Ren, "Say, you knew her name?"
Ren made a face. "Partially? Back when Kamo-shithead was still around, he basically used me as an 'example' to her about being a problem kid or something like that. So, you know, the usual. That's when I heard him call her Yoshizawa." He sighed, Ren's eyes looking slightly pained by the recollection.
That was weird.
"Hey, uh, are you okay?" Scott couldn't help but ask.
Ren seemed to snap out of whatever funk he was in, his eyes looking like he was almost shocked at the question itself. "Uh, yeah? Why do you ask?"
I ask because a blank slate main character shouldn't be feeling any emotions over a recollection. especially one I'm not controlling.
"Nothing..." Scott said, "We're... gonna be late if we just stand here, right?"
Ren nodded, "Right, we should probably get going."
-MORNING-
"Hey, what took you guys so long? Cleanup's gonna start any minute now."
The two of them arrived at the meetup place at the campsite. Ryuji was also wearing his gym uniform, though Ann still had her school uniform on.
"Nothing much." Ren said, and Scott simply nodded in agreement.
Ann looked at the three guys, apparently surprised. "Did you guys really just... wear your gym clothes the whole way here like that?"
Scott tilted his head slightly. "What, like it's weird?"
Ann sighed, "No... that's not what I meant."
"I mean, ain't it normal?" Ryuji asked, "And uh, you're not gonna be joining in on the cleanup wearing your normal class uniform, are you?"
"Of course not!" Ann said, rolling her eyes, "I brought my gym clothes in my bag. But now there's a line to the bathroom, so I can't really change ‘till that thins out."
Ryuji shrugged. "Fair enough. Sure sucks having to wait in a line though, huh?"
"Ah, the weather's pretty nice out... it's almost like the sky itself is mocking us." A new voice came in, as Mishima walked up to the group.
Oh yeah, sorta forgot that guy existed for a second.
Ryuji's head slowly turned to look at Mishima with a level of indifference, "A simple ‘hello' or ‘good morning' could've blended yourself into the convo way better than that, my guy."
Scott couldn't help but let out a brief chuckle.
Even the player characters can tell an NPC when they see one, huh?
Mishima seemingly ignored Ryujis's comment before continuing. "Some Kichioji clean-freak must have hung a ton of paper dolls praying for clear skies today, just to be petty."
"And there he goes..." Ren muttered.
"Is that what's going on?" Scott asked, kind of confused. But before Mishima or anyone else could answer, they noticed a familiar face walking up to them.
"Ah, good morning everyone." Dr. Maruki said, waving at those in the circle. "You all look quite lively today!"
"Oh, are you going to join in the cleaning today, Doc?" Mishima asked.
Maruki nodded, giving the group a warm smile. "That's the plan!"
Ryuji squinted. "In that getup?"
Maruki shook his head. "Oh, no, I'm not doing the actual cleaning. I'm a part of the catering team." He said. "I do hope you guys are ready for what I'm cooking up!"
Ren smirked. "You'll need to make sure that the cooking setup has a clearance of at least twenty feet away from Scott."
"Hey!"
Mishima looked at Ren. "W-was it that bad?!"
"Uh… I mean I'm not dead? So, I guess it could have been a little bit worse."
Scott was glaring daggers at the black-haired student. "I thought we agreed to keep that between us?"
"I don't remember agreeing to anything other than helping to clean up the shrapnel."
"Yeah, ‘cause it was one of those unspoken things!" Scott crossed his arms, pouting. "I didn't even want to offer to help with the cooking in the first place…"
Maruki simply chuckled, "Well, it seems like you all are having a fun time together already. I guess I'll see you all soon then." With a simple wave he began to walk ahead, meeting up with a group of students who were nearby a setup row of tables. Ryuji rolled his eyes.
"Well, look at Dr. Popular, getting showered with love from staff and students alike." He said.
Mishima simply shrugged. "Well, we all know the Phantom Thieves will become even more popular one day." He said, in a hushed voice.
Scott rubbed the bridge of his nose, "I'd be more surprised if it wasn't the case, y'know?"
The sound of a megaphone began to ring faintly from afar, "Good morning, Shujin Academy students and staff." Scott quickly recognized it as the student council president's voice. "Please pick up all the trash located in the areas assigned to your group. Once cleanup is completed, there will be a lunch of miso soup with pork and vegetables." She continued, although it became significantly less audible as Ann clapped her hands together. "Oh! Pork and miso soup! That sounds really good."
Mishima looked at Ren and Scott. "Oh, right! Groups were already chosen at random, with mixed genders and classes. Four to a group, looks like."
"Random, huh?" Ren asked, tilting his head a bit. "Let me guess, the probability that any of us are in a group together is pretty low."
"Eh, not really?" Mishima said. "Scott and I ended up sharing a group together. We're sharing it with one of the third years too, Okumura-san I believe?"
"Okumura…" Ann mumbled to herself. "That name sounds... really familiar…"
Before that train of thought could even continue, Makoto's voice rose up once again over the crowd. "Now that announcements are over, please make your way to your assigned area and meet up with your group."
Ryuji sighed. "Look, if we do it fast enough, we can call it done, get that free soup, and get the hell out of here. No big deal!"
-AFTERNOON-
Scott didn't think Mishima was the worst person to hang with. But he'd definitely be lying if he said he was the best.
He sighed as he picked up a water bottle. "Man, Ryuji seriously underestimated the amount of junk here."
"It can't just be from kids either. It's also got to be from those no good rotten adults." Mishima said with a huff.
Scott looked back at him. "I mean, you're not wrong? But at the same time, a lot of these were just around the trash bin. The more probable scenario was just that they tried to toss it and missed."
"You think so?" Mishima asked, almost shocked by the relatively simple answer.
"Hell if I know." He replied with a shrug. "I just know that if I'm outside at the park and I aim for the trash bin and miss, I'm probably not gonna want to bother to get my hands dirty picking it up again. Lazy? Yeah. But still, not actively malicious. It's already most of the way to the right spot, anyways."
"That is… really insightful. Especially for you, Scott!"
"...Thanks?" Scott didn't even want to begin questioning whether that was meant to be a backhanded compliment or a botched attempt at being genuine.
The two continued their work for a bit just as another student walked up to the two, holding a bag of her own.
"Sorry to intrude, but would you mind if you could give me the cap on that bottle you're holding?" She said, pointing at the bottle in Scott's hand. He looked up and nodded before handing it to her. Mishima looked at the girl as she put the cap inside her jacket pocket.
"Oh! Are you a collector?"
She simply shook her head. "No, not exactly. See, recycling companies can take these and repurpose them into vials for vaccines."
"Oh, really? I had no idea that was a thing!" Mishima said, his eyes lighting up. "Well, the more you know, huh?"
"I guess it's neat to know that?" Scott mumbled, shrugging a little. Mishima looked back at the student.
"Well, if anything, it goes to show there's some justice in the world after all."
The student chuckled, "I... think I lost you there."
"Don't mind him." Scott said, nodding his head toward Mishima. "He can, and does, get lost in his own tangents. Oh right, I think I actually separated out a few others that I found earlier." Scott shuffled around his pockets, managing to pull out a solid set of like 5 plastic caps before handing them to the student. "You never know what weirdly specific rules you have to follow just to recycle sh*t."
"Ah, Thank you so much!" The student seemed to suddenly realize something. "Oh! I'm sorry, I know we're in the same group and all, but I didn't catch your name."
"Uh... Scott, Scott Wozniak. Have... you not heard of me?" He paused, instantly realized he stopped at the worst moment, and hastily continued. "Not that you need to have heard about me, it's just that with all the rumors floating around I would've assumed you were told of me and Ren at some point by now, you know?"
"I see! And yes, I know what you mean, Wozniak-kun." she said, "I suppose there just hasn't been as much talk about it among the third-year students."
So, she's a third-year, then? I guess that explains why she didn't immediately run away or anything when she figured out who I was.
Scott looked around, noticing Mishima had kinda started to wander off on his own, going on his own monologue while picking up trash.
"Oh, but please don't misunderstand!" She quickly added. "Don't think I'm going to be shocked by this and start avoiding you. Especially with how nice you've been in the time we've been talking, and rumors are just rumors, after all…" Her voice trailed off for a bit, before snapping back quickly to look back at him. "Right, I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Haru Okumura. As I mentioned a moment ago, I'm a third-year!"
"Nice to meet you, then." He said. "I uh, guess we should finish up? You know, get some food and call it a day?"
Haru nodded. "Of course, of course."
Once everything in their area had been cleaned up, most of the people in his group had gotten their soup and split off. Mishima and the other student in their group had run off somewhere, which left Scott and Haru alone at one of the tables nearby.
"Ah, Wozniak-kun, if I may ask... you're not from Japan, correct?"
"What gave it away? My chopstick anti-skills?"
Haru chuckled. "You are fumbling with them a bit. the lower one is held like you would if you were holding a pencil. And you actually don't move that one, either. From there, you add the top one and move that one to control them!" She paused her soup-eating to give a brief demonstration as she talked through the steps.
Scott pouted a little. "Easier said than done..."
"It's all about the practice, I'm sure you'll get it eventually!"
Scott rolled his eyes, "Maybe, but it'd probably take me like three years." He sighed. "But yeah, it's pretty much just like you said. I came from Ohio and got wrapped up in probation for something I'm ninety-nine percent sure I didn't actually do, so here I am. Stuck." The altered story had almost became second nature to him by now, despite only having mentioned it once or twice. Besides, he couldn't really say ‘I got sucked into a video game and am trapped for who the hell knows how long' to a supporting NPC. He physically couldn't, let alone conceptually.
"I'm so sorry to hear that..." She said. "You are here now, you might as well make the most of it, right?"
"Yeah, I guess that's what I'm trying to do. What about you? What's your deal?"
"Oh!" Haru looked up from her food, "Well, my father's a very busy businessman, so I don't see him a lot, but I can use that extra time on my hobbies! I like gardening, so I was planning on asking the school if I could set up a school garden upstairs on the roof. There isn't any other purpose it's currently being used for, after all. It would be a perfect spot for growing fruits and vegetables!"
"The rooftop, huh?" He said, remembering how the student council president seemed to have a burning need to tell him it was closed off. "I mean, good luck trying to convince Miss Prez to allow that when she just started locking the place." He said, letting out a laugh.
"I'll convince the student council somehow! I'm sure of it!" She enthused. Despite her overall polite demeanor, there was a level of determination in her that didn't seem like it'd come from a simple supporting character.
That probably means she's gotta be one of the party members, huh? Wonder if she's next on the roster.
He looked back at Haru, and pointed his chopsticks at her with a smile.
"Knock ‘em dead, tiger."
-EVENING-
"I will say, I consider myself lucky that I got put with people who actually did their job." Scott said from the Leblanc attic's futon, where Morgana was curled up asleep next to him. "I'd be pissed if I had to carry back all that junk on my own."
"That's good. My team completely ditched me at the end there." Ren grumbled as he adjusted his bag. "Rumors sure are a bitch... But, at least it's not all doom and gloom."
"Really?"
"Well..." Ren began. "Kasumi came by after the cleanup to try and properly thank us. I think she assumed we'd be assigned together, so she got a little bummed that she didn't get to see you, but she sends her regards. She'll probably go out of her way to really thank you later, that's what she kept insisting she'd do."
"Kasumi?" Scott asked.
"Kasumi Yoshizawa's her full name." Ren clarified. "Granted, it sure took her a while to tell me that. Found that out through her pocketbook when she dropped it."
"Well, that's quite the backwards way of finding that out, huh?" Scott noted as he leaned back on the couch.
"She's a gymnast, I think her skills might be a great help for traversing palaces."
"Don't we already have movement skills, or whatever you'd call it?"
"We do, but I still think it'd be worthwhile." Ren nodded, deep in thought. "She had to jump to grab something earlier, and she practically flew with how much air she got. It was like how we jump in the Metaverse, but for real. It was really impressive."
Scott sighed. "Sure, I guess, but isn't there something a little more pressing going on regarding palaces?"
Ren nodded, and pulled out his phone. "That's true. Once the Madarame job's done, I'll actually have time to look into it."
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ren] Hey, You think we're ready?
[Ann] for the palace? I'd say we should be?
[Ryuji] i mean the path to the treasures all set, all we have to do is make it appear
[Ryuji] which means all that's left is the calling card, yeah?
[Scott] Yeah, pretty much
[Yusuke] If I may interject.
[Ren] Yeah, shoot.
[Yusuke] I would like to request if I could personally write the calling card in question.
[Ryuji] oh totally, go for it man!!!!
[Yusuke] I could also rework the calling card design as well. Give it a bit of refining, you know?
[Yusuke] Besides, if I designed an entirely new one, Madarame would instantly recognize my artistic stylings.
[Ann] ohhh, of course! Yusuke's an artist too! you can fancy up a new logo for us!
[Scott] What? Mine wasnt THAT bad!!
[Yusuke] Oh, it's a wonderful concept for certain. However, I think I have a few ideas as to how to add to it. Give it that certain je nais se quois, as it were.
[Scott] You know what? I just realized something, you're right. Go for it.
Ren looked up from his phone, "What, are you jealous or something?" he said, giving Scott a small, but goofy smirk. Scott just rolled his eyes.
"Nah, I realized it changing was inevitably going to happen at some point anyway." He said, getting up from the couch. "Since we got Yusuke, him being an actual artist and all, it makes sense that he'd want to take a jab at it."
He made his way up to his bed, but not without realizing Ren was giving him an indecipherable look. It seemed he was deep in thought, a little too deep for Scott's liking.
What is it with him and the weird looks today...?
Well, that didn't matter. They were going to steal another treasure soon, which meant he was about to be one huge step closer to getting the f*ck out of here! Plus, it'd have the bonus effect of him never needing to walk into that sensory hell ever again. Christ, he really hoped the next one wasn't gonna be like that. He could seriously go for some dinge right now.
But for now... watch out, Mada-ripoff. The Phantom Thieves and I are gonna be kicking your ass.
He smirked up at the ceiling, and drifted off to sleep while thinking of whatever head honcho they'd have as the final dungeon in, like, another two or three palaces.
Notes:
I dunno if this is actually a more widespread thing, but in my small Midwestern hometown there's a ton of weirdly specific rules about what we can and can't recycle. We were pretty late to the party in getting single-sort recycling too, so that used to be a real pain in the ass...
Point is!! That's what Scott was talking about with those other bottle caps. 'Cause he's from Ohio. Also he and Haru are friends now that's pretty neat fkdsjds
BUT YEAH boss fight next week!!! The arc won't be quite over, but we're getting close! :D
Thanks again to Caramellody for co-writing this chapter, and I'll see you all next Friday!
Chapter 36: Repossessing the Museum of Vanity
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--5/31-DAYS UNTIL LEGAL ACTION:5--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
Madarame's exhibit was just as busy as it had been on day one. People oohed and ahhed at the works on display, talked about elements of the painting, usual art exhibit stuff. Scott and the Phantom Thieves, however, weren't here for any of that. Other than Yusuke, who was currently taking questions as a pupil alongside the man himself, the group hung near the back of the exhibit. He didn't know about the others, but the suspense was killing Scott. The calling card had already been posted for a good half hour, but apparently none of Madarame's associates or any venue staff had seen it yet.
"Seriously, how's it taking this long...?" He grumbled.
Ryuji nodded. "Yeah, you'd think this guy has like, an army of bouncers 'n shit, especially after the shit we pulled earlier."
"To be fair, I wouldn't want to be the one to tell a guy like Madarame that sorta thing. Or any boss, really." Ann pointed out.
Ren didn't even look bothered by the wait. "Someone has to come up and tell him at some point. It'd be even worse for them if he stumbled upon it himself."
"Damn, that's some good thinkin', Ren-Ren!" Ryuji grinned in his direction. "The card's already got a few Tweets up about it, someone's gotta be tellin' him any minute."
"Hey, quiet down a sec. That guy's pulling Madarame off to the side."
Sure enough, when Scott looked where Ren was pointing, a very anxious-looking man in a suit was showing Madarame something. He was probably with the venue, if Scott had to guess.
"We found this plastered all over one of the walls outside. It's, uh..."
Not seeming to notice how nervous the staff member was, the 'artist' gave him one of those warm smiles he was so good at faking. "Well, don't just stand there, tell me what it says!"
The man gulped nervously.
Sir Ichiryusai Madarame, a wretch that has committed the sin of vanity, and one who has allowed their talents to waste away in search of monetary gain.
Your name is an inspiration to countless young artists, but you use that to exploit them and rob them of their work, as if they were tubes of paint to be squeezed dry. As a consequence of what you've done to so many of your pupils, we have decided to make you confess your sins with your own mouth. Today, we will be taking your distorted desires, and will not fail to do so. Please be prepared for this.
-The Phantom Thieves of Hearts
Madarame was enraged. "Who did this?!" He bellowed, causing many of the exhibit attendees to turn towards him.
"S-sir, please quiet down! You don't want people to eavesdrop with something like this, do you?"
Scott scoffed to himself.
Little too late on that one, bud.
The target growled. "Look, just find out who put those up. The security cameras had to have picked up an image of who it was!"
"We already checked! There was nobody in sight other than some stray cat!"
With a huff, Madarame snatched the card to read it for himself. After not seeing that it really said something like 'oh Madarame, you're so funny and attractive,' he crumpled it up and shoved it back into the other man's chest. "Then at least take the rest of them down, for God's sakes! How the hell did your cameras miss something like that in the first place?!"
"O-of course, sir. As soon as I take down all the other cards, I'll be calling maintenance straight away to fix them. But, erm..."
"What now?!" He demanded.
"Well... this is most likely a simple prank, but there are already pictures of it circulating online. What should I say if the press contacts us...?"
Madarame's eyes bulged in anger. "Why would we need to say anything?! Are you insinuating that this baseless drivel is the truth?!"
"N-no sir, o-of course not! But in the event-"
"JUST TAKE THE DAMN CARDS DOWN!"
People were staring now. Hell, some had even started recording the outburst, despite the venue guy doing every damn thing he could to keep this low-key. Once he was done reeling from the artist's enraged yelling, he meekly nodded and dashed outside.
The many spectators to this event started to murmur among themselves.
"Calling card...? Didn't I hear about something else like that recently?"
"Yeah! That sleazy PE teacher got one before he totally spilled the beans!"
"So is this from the same person? The 'Phantom Thieves' or something?
"But... this is the first I'm hearing about what's on the card, maybe it's just a hoax?"
"A hoax making somebody that mad? Seems like a reach to me..."
In that moment, just like when Kamoshida's card had been delivered, the room wavered. Standing in Madarame's spot in the distance was the gold-clad shadow, though if the crowd was any indication, the only ones seeing this were the ones that were actually behind the card.
"Those brats have gone too far... fine, if it's certain death they want, it's certain death they'll HAVE!"
Scott felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end again. The same palpable tension hung over the area like humidity's f*cked up cousin.
So yeah, it was pretty safe to say the calling card worked.
Then he blinked, and the Madarame he saw was back to the real one again.
Yusuke must have seen this too, and he rejoined the rest of the Phantom Thieves as his old teacher was left to curse whoever posted the cards, to an audience of no one in particular.
"I presume that's the card's intended effect." He said as they all ducked into one of the nooks of the exhibit venue.
"Sure is!" Morgana grinned as he popped his head out of Ren's bag. "Ahh, fresh not-school-bag air... Thank goodness for secluded corners, I was about to suffocate in there!"
"Drama queen..." Mumbled Scott.
"Come on guys, focus. Remember, now that he's seen the card, we've only got one shot at this." Ren reminded them. "You're ready to do this, right Yusuke?"
Yusuke solemnly nodded. "I shudder to think of a future where he does not properly atone for what he's done. After thinking long and hard about what I'm doing here, I've come to the conclusion that I owe this to the man I once thought my Sensei was." He paused, and turned to give a pained look back to the panicking artist with a sigh. "Even if I eventually find out that that man never existed."
"Well, we're all backin' you up, dude! Whaddaya all say we get this party started?" Ryuji asked, shooting an encouraging grin to Yusuke.
"Yes. Let's end this, once and for all." He still sounded sad, but when he turned back around and saw Ryuji's huge smile, it seemed he couldn't help but smile a little back.
Ren smiled a little himself, and pulled out his phone. "Alright team, let's get this done."
"Beginning Navigation."
"This knot's on tight, right? ‘Cause if it isn't, and I fall right down into those lasers, we blow this whole operation!" Mona hissed at Duel.
"Shut up, this is... way harder than it looks!" He hissed back.
Out of all the jobs involved in this plan, Duel, of course, had to get stuck with the most finicky one. Everything revolved around the crane right above the treasure, so Joker was on standby at the crane controls. He was waiting for Panther to turn out the lights, which they found earlier would only stay off for a few seconds before the backup generators kicked in. There was a guard stationed at those controls, so Skull was leading it on a wild goose chase to give Panther the opening. Fox was going to be sending the signal to Panther to go ahead, as he was stationed very close to the crane's hook and at a perfect angle from the light controls to actually make that signal visible. He was also standing guard, making sure that Mona and Duel weren't attacked from behind, which would be very easy to do on these narrow plank paths hanging from the ceiling. These things were absolutely a huge safety hazard, but it was the closest surface to that crane they were ever gonna get.
Since Mona was the grabber of this literal crane game, Duel, of course, was the one tying him to the hook. The fact that his weapon could easily reach over and get ahold of it pretty much automatically doomed him to that, in fact.
It was a grueling process, making sure the knot was on right and that Mona himself was secure to the rope. To rub salt into the wound, The fact that these safety hazards were just hanging there from nothing but a single rope for each corner that wasn't even thicker than the one Duel was using made it a living hell to keep his balance on.
Finally, after far too many skipped heartbeats and close calls, he let go of the crane's hook and let it swing quietly back to its natural center, and finally let out a huge breath that he hadn't even realized he was holding.
Well, mostly quiet aside from the mischievous giggle sesh Mona was having with himself. He looked like a crane game that was self aware, knew it was rigged, and took pride in that fact. Duel just hoped that rigging was gonna be in the player's favor for once.
"You look pretty pleased with yourself." He deadpanned.
Mona grinned at him. "Of course I am! This is a huge moment for us, y'know? The dastardly heist plans, the sky-high stakes, we're seriously for-realsies Phantom Thieves here!"
That depends on your definition of realsies...
He huffed. "You waited until the second big heist to say that?"
The cat rolled his eyes. "Just tell Fox we're ready, alright?!"
"Fine... don't blow this, Mona."
Duel turned and flashed a thumbs-up to Fox. He nodded, and waved down at the window of the security office Panther was waiting in. The room suddenly went dark, and the mechanical sounds of the crane lowering filled the room not too much later.
Everything's going smoothly, then...
Wonder when that's gonna quit being the case.
After a few painstakingly long seconds, the lights came back on. Mona was already finishing his ascent back up with the crane, with the top of the treasure clutched tightly in his paws. It was definitely a painting of some sort, no doubt about that. It was covered up with a fancy purple cloth, so which piece it was was a complete mystery, but it was painting-shaped. And there's only one thing shaped like a painting out there, as we all know.
"Heheheh... ta-da!" Mona enthused, clearly pleased as punch.
"You better not drop that." Said Duel, solidifying his balance again. Thankfully, getting Mona off the crane hook was going to be exponentially easier than getting him on was, since all he had to do this time was hook the rope with his cane and go.
They all reconvened in the room with the crane controls quickly, aside from Skull who had to shake off the guard he was keeping busy. Didn't take long for him to finally show up, though.
"Hell yeah, you guys got it!" He said as he caught his breath.
"Of course we did!" Mona replied, now off of Duel's cane and using the extra cloth to tie the treasure on his back so that he could carry it out hands-free. Or paws-free. Whatever. "Now let's go, I don't wanna wait to see what this treasure is for any longer than I absolutely have to!"
A stray walkie talkie on one of the shelves in the room suddenly crackled to life and relayed shadow Madarame's voice.
"All personnel, the piece is missing! I repeat, the piece is missing! Lock every single door, get them cornered once and for all!"
Yep. There's the snag.
The sound of heavy-duty electric locks clunking into place resounded both from nearby and from far away. Skull's face drained of color.
"Wh- where the fuck do we go now?!" He cried.
Duel put one gloved hand to his chin and thought for a second. He went over other games he'd played, and their escape sequences.
Well, our normal lockpicks won't work for story sh*t like this, that's for sure. So if we aren't gonna go the Skyrim route...
As he thought, he slowly scanned the room for anything that could spark an idea. And he found one, which Joker already seemed to be staring at as well.
He turned towards the leader. "Window?"
The leader nodded back. "Yeah, window."
Panther didn't look so sure. "Are we even gonna be able to get it open?" She asked.
"Yeah... yeah, I think we're good." With a grin, Duel summoned his rocket launcher and readied it on his shoulder.
Mona's eyes widened. "Wh- you're gonna get guards swarming here with that kinda noise!"
"The crane wasn't exactly silent either, remember? Speed's what we're going for here, and one tiny explosion isn't gonna draw more attention to the one f*cking room with crane controls than we already have!" He retorted.
"He's got a point. We've already got the treasure, so we should be able to get out before the wall reforms." Joker said with a shrug.
"What?! But-!" The cat faltered, apparently blanking on reasons to object to this plan.
Panther groaned. "Look, we've got a plan already, now let's get the hell out!!!"
"You got it! One blowin' sh*t up, on the house!" Realizing something important, Duel turned back towards others before he set up his shot. "You guys are gonna want to stand back. Maybe take cover. Either one's fine by me."
There was an awkward moment of silence as everyone stepped backwards.
"Cool, cool. Alright, let's f*ckin' DO THIS!!!"
Duel squeezed the trigger, and the rocket made the usual hissing sound as it exited the barrel.
Pffsh... BOOM!!!
The sound of breaking glass and crumbling stone was deafening alongside the explosion itself but when the dust settled and the moment of truth came, that didn't even matter.
"Alright!!!" Skull cheered. "Now let's get the hell outta here!"
"Yeah, before any guards show up." Added Joker, who was already in movement.
The courtyard?! That's only halfway in!
They'd been scaling down the side of the odd-looking but conveniently traversable exterior of the museum for what felt like ages, and they still weren't out yet! That probably had to do with the fact that they hadn't fought any bosses yet, but still...
"Gaaah, I can't take the suspense!!! I'm finding out what this treasure is now, dammit!"
Mona suddenly yowled that out of nowhere, breaking Duel's train of thought.
"Wh- Now?!" Cried Skull.
The cat pulled the tied-up painting off of his back and yanked the cloth wrapped around it open, like it was an N64 on Christmas morning. That said, the great work of art the group was greeted with was... anticlimactic, to say the least.
Duel squinted, trying to read the single group of letters painted onto the white canvas. "He-he-no-no-mo..." He mumbled to himself, wondering why he wasn't getting any words from it.
"It's a henohenomoheji. A simple doodle of a face composed of Hiragana characters." Joker explained.
"Oh. Yeah, that makes way more sense than just some nonsense word."
Fox stepped forward for a closer look. "This... cannot be the real treasure, can it?"
"Wait, this wasn't ever the treasure! It feels totally different, he must have swapped it before we showed up!" Mona yowled.
"For real?!" Cried Skull. "I mean, I know we're here stealin' his shit and all, but that's just a dick move!"
Hold on, then how...?
Duel looked back over his shoulder and back at the top of the museum. Sure enough, the wall was reforming, just a lot slower than Mona thought it would when the idea of breaking a window was brought up in the first palace. Maybe the cat was just wrong about that one detail...?
Turned out, swapping the painting wasn't the only dick move Madarame had in store for them. A group of three metal poles suddenly shot out of the ground, and created a triangular fence made of pure electricity. The group's thief instincts damn near threw everyone out of its path, though Mona just barely had enough time to get out of the way, yelping a bit when the very tip of his tail got singed.
"Hm. You brats move quick."
The distorted voice of Madarame's shadow echoed out from behind them. Duel and the others spun around, revealing that he had already caught up to them, two guards at each side.
"Well, it was worth a try." The shadow added with a resigned shrug, despite the fact that the smug smile he wore was anything but resigned.
"I gotta say, nice to see something you presumably painted for once." Duel said, motioning to the fake treasure that was now stuck in the middle of the electric field. "Unless one of your guards actually painted it, of course. That'd explain the quality!"
Madarame huffed. "You say that like it's a bad thing. In the fine art industry, counterfeits are completely acceptable. Expected in some cases, even!"
"Industry...?" Fox asked through gritted teeth. "What happened to you, Madarame? Was it the fame? What made you stoop this low, not giving a damn what it would mean when your own foster son found out?!"
"...I suppose there's no harm in telling you, since you're all about to die." He responded with a soft chuckle. The casual responses Madarame was giving in response to all of this... it made Duel's skin crawl. Which, of course, meant he kept talking like that.
"Well, Yusuke, the only reason I took you in at all was your mother. Her passion for painting, despite the grief for your father's passing... I invested in that."
"The hell do you mean, ‘invested?!" Demanded Skull.
Madarame sneered at them before nodding to one of the guards. "Show them the painting. Let their last moments in life at least hold the gift of seeing something this valuable."
One guard nodded, and held up the painting he had been holding under one arm.
Wait, what?!
Duel could hear Fox gasp in shock at his side.
The painting was the Sayuri... but it wasn't the one everyone had known and loved all these years. Everything from the center up was still the same, the long, flowing black hair and the crimson red dress. And the powerful expression... that was still there too. But the purple fog that once covered the remainder of the canvas was completely missing. Under it, the woman depicted in the piece cradled a baby in her arms. That was what the powerful expression had been towards this entire time.
The other major difference was that Madarame's signature that once sat on top of the fog was missing. His sneer, on the other hand, only grew deeper.
"That is the genuine Sayuri, painted by your mother, Yusuke."
Fox was reeling. "N-no, that's impossible! Mona, that's another false treasure, is it not?!"
"No. That's the real deal. I can sense it." Mona responded.
"M-mom...?"
His voice trembled so much, Duel was worried Fox was going to start sobbing on the spot. And he, on at least some level, understood why.
After all, everything he knew and loved had just been stripped away from him, his entire life up until that point having been revealed as having been a forgery the whole time.
"A self-portrait of a sickly woman soon to pass away, burdened with the knowledge that she would be leaving behind her young child, placed on a canvas so that it could be passed on to her son as one last piece of her that would see him grow up." Madarame explained the painting like he was making a sales pitch. It was making Duel angrier with every word.
"And you just stole it from its rightful owner?!" Panther spat.
"I could tell it was on the cusp of being a smash hit! If I just staged it a bit and added my own signature, I knew the bumbling critics of the fine art world would eat it up!"
"Staging?" Asked Joker. His words were dripping with a quiet, venomous rage.
"Why of course, that's why I painted over the baby in the piece. That resulted in your mother's expression becoming a mystery, something to keep it in people's minds!" The shadow let out a laugh. "And I was absolutely right! Critics and the public alike flocked to it, like ducks to water!"
Skull scoffed. "Of course. That's how you were able to flip fakes of that painting without giving two shits about it. You don't even like art in the first place, you're just usin' it and people that have legit passion for it to get stupid rich!!!"
"Yes, well, think what you like. It doesn't matter at all. Since you've ceased being useful to me, I suppose I'll just have to move on and find a replacement to take your place. After I kill you, that is."
"...Is that what you did with my mother, as well?"
His words were quiet, but Fox managed to cut through the air with them regardless.
"Well... when I witnessed her having a violent seizure, I realized that if I let her die, nothing would be able to stop me from using her work as I so pleased. There was nobody else that knew she had painted it, after all. Of course, I had to take in her son to keep him from discovering the truth himself, but it was worth it!"
Duel couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You let her just die?! What the f*ck is wrong with you?!"
Madarame ignored him, like the question was beneath him. "When I found out that the apple hadn't fallen far from the tree, that you had an incredible talent for art just like she did... that small consequence turned out to be a happy little accident. That's how I came up with the idea of stealing the talents of kids that can't fight back in the first place, actually!"
"You will NOT use Bob Ross' words to talk about the sh*t you've pulled, asshole!!!"
At Duel's side, Fox lightly scoffed. When he turned to look at the guy, he was smiling.
"Fox...?" He asked.
"Thank you."
"Wait, what?!"
Fox ignored him, because he was already in badass monologue mode. "There was a tiny piece of me that wanted to resume my normal life with you, even after I found out what I did earlier. However, that piece is gone now. And not only due to what you've said today, either."
He was looking down now, fists balled at his sides. "Because... even after all of that... you couldn't even bother to remember my mother's face. I saw her, as a cognitive painting here. You killed her, made yourself rich with her work, and didn't even pay her any sort of respect once she was gone." His gaze went back up, staring daggers into the shadow's glowing yellow eyes. "I no longer have room in my heart to forgive you, Madarame."
There was a moment of tense silence. And then Madarame's shadow laughed. "You fool! You think that would even be possible now?! You know too much, there's no way any of you are leaving this museum alive! I'll finally be rid of you brats!"
His laughing got louder, and the same red and black aura that surrounded Kamoshida just before his boss fight began to rise up through him.
"You NEVER had a chance against me! You all sealed your fates when you stepped into this museum today, when you challenged THE GOD OF FINE ART!!!"
And then the guy f*cking split apart. With one big wet squelching sound that made Duel wince, the shadowy aura hit its peak, and a wave of power tore through the courtyard. He had to shield his face at that, but when he was able to lower his arm and see the form this boss would take, he couldn't say he was surprised.
Four floating paintings stared them down, each one making up one three-dimensional facial feature to complete the full visage. Two paintings made up the eyes, while the remaining two were the nose and mouth respectively. They were all painted(?) in the same visual style, but their frames were all mismatched. The whole thing was extremely uncanny.
That said, they didn't have time to thoroughly analyze this art. Because it was trying to kill them, and that tends to make it pretty difficult to stand there and really take in what that art was meant to show you.
Well, he's probably gotta start hitting us with spells, so I guess standing around would still get that done!
Madarame's voice was even more distorted in this form, and his cackling wasn't pleasant to listen to. "I'LL PAINT YOU ALL OUT OF THE PICTURE!!!"
After taking a deep, calming breath, Fox unsheathed his katana and charged towards the boss. He slashed the mouth painting since it was the easiest one he could reach, but the wet-looking paint seemed completely undisturbed by it. It simply melded itself back together, and if Duel wasn't mistaken... the paint was actually more vivid than it had been a moment ago.
There's no way that's a good thing.
If physical attacks were a no-go, then they'd have to rely on magic attacks during this fight. With how tiring it was to summon his persona a ton of times in a row, that could easily get really bad really quickly.
...But, he felt something stir inside of him as he thought that. And this time, it wasn't expired Campbell's Super Mario soup catching up with him.
This... he knew what this was. He didn't need to stop and think about it, there was something brand new rising out of the recesses of his soul. And it was begging to be used, especially now that Duel needed it.
Yeesh, that's such an overly fancy way to put it... but if it works, it works!
The split second it took for him to realize what he just felt had passed, and his body damn near moved on its own as he ripped off his mask and unleashed the new skill.
"MARAGI!"
A now-familiar swell of power surged through Duel as Daroach manifested behind him. His cape had been held close to him as he appeared, face mostly covered by the boater hat on top of his head. That was, until the both of them smirked. With one smooth arm motion, Daroach's cape burst open, letting loose a fireball for each painting he was targeting.
As they all hit their targets, the swell of power in Duel crashed right back down. It was far more noticeable this time since it was way more than he was used to dealing with at once... but he could tell that it hadn't sapped as much energy as casting the single-target fire spell four times would have. Still had to catch his breath afterwards, though.
"Oh, come on!" All of a sudden, the sound of Mona's voice brought him back to the moment. Sh*t, he didn't have time to catch his breath, he had to keep-
Wait, what the f*ck?!
That was weird... as Duel looked back up, he realized that the fire had brought the mouth's vivid hues back down to what it had been at the start of the fight, and the nose had taken some light damage, but...
Why are the eyes the vivid ones now?!
"Does each painting have its own set of elemental affinities?!" Mona cried in disbelief. "Wait, no, the eyes are identical there."
"That's not much better, dude!!" Skull shouted back, in between swings at the nose painting. Which actually seemed to work, unlike the mouth.
Duel couldn't help but groan in light of this new information. Right when he got a sick new area-of-effect spell, he hit a boss that they'd be totally useless against!
I guess that's just my luck, considering it's sh*tty enough for me to be here in the first place... still stings, though.
All of a sudden, something slammed into Duel's chest, knocking him over. He'd been too absorbed in his own grumblings to see it coming, but now that it was actually on him, it was pretty hard to miss.
Is this... paint?
He wasn't a paint expert, but that's what it looked like. Though, it wasn't thick and near-solid like acrylic paint would be, since whatever this was was quickly soaking through his Phantom Thief attire.
"Eugh... hey, Madarame! If this ends up gunkin' up a washing machine later, you're footin' the bill, got it?!"
The painting of his mouth burst into laughter. "What, and pay even a single yen from MY coffers to clean up the blood of something so far beneath me?! I don't THINK so, vermin!"
Duel looked down at himself again, and then back up at the shadow. "...This is paint." He said in confusion.
The eyes both rolled with exasperation as the boss wordlessly lobbed a fireball at him. He tried to just zip out of the way, but his movements were oddly sluggish all of a sudden, and it ended up being a pretty direct hit.
He didn't ever get long-lasting burns from fire attacks here, which was pretty nice, but that never stopped it from making his skin and body hurt like hell. Unlike Panther and Fox, he wasn't particularly weak or even resistant to fire and ice. Hell, wind and electricity seemed to always hit him with a completely average impact... except this time. When that fireball hit home, pain tore through Duel's entire body, not even bothering to stop at the surface. He couldn't stop himself from falling over, his legs were too busy being in f*cking agony to keep him standing up.
"DUEL!" Joker cried.
Fox whipped his head around to see what had happened, only to be treated to a gunky shot of paint getting onto him as well. Madarame quickly followed that up with an exploding ice attack that somehow blew the guy right off his feet for a moment. He was a fairly sturdy guy in the Metaverse, especially compared to Duel, but this was even weirder because Fox usually barely flinched at ice attacks. He seemed to have some natural resistance to them as someone who mainly used ice himself.
The f*ck...?
"ZORRO!" Mona shouted as he scampered over to Duel, and a good chunk of the pain he was feeling simply lifted with a flick of the persona's wrist. It wasn't enough to get rid of it completely, but it was enough for him to be able to get back up on his own with the support of his cane. Still, that odd sluggishness stuck to him.
Stuck just like...
"The paint...?" Wondered Duel, only half-realizing that he'd said that bit out loud.
After a brief moment of confusion, Mona's eyes widened. "Of course! The paint's messing with your own elemental affinities, avoid that stuff like the plague!" He called over to the others.
Skull tilted his head to the side a bit. "Uh, sure? I dunno if a pile of paint cans warranted a whole announcement like that."
"Not the cans, the paint he shoots at you! Honestly, Skull..."
Panther jumped back, skilfully dodging a shot of that gunk that had been aimed at her. "What, he's just got that stuff laying around? How's nobody tripping over it?"
"Cease your pointless evading! It's only a matter of time until you succumb to my greatness!"
Apparently, Madarame was so self-absorbed that he hadn't even been paying attention to what they were saying.
"Everyone, stand back. I've been waiting for a good time to try this thing out."
The leader of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts stepped forward with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. He had an idea, and clearly, he knew damn well it was a good one.
"Ohhh, I'm sooo scared!" Madarame's shadow said with a mock-whimper. "You're all just scrambling like the pests you are, and you're going to have pitiful deaths to match, understand?!"
Joker ignored him. After taking a deep breath and patting one of his pockets with a smirk, he just took off.
In one smooth maneuver, he swiped one of the cans of the weakening paint that just conveniently sat out in the open off to one side and popped the top with his knife, pulled his gun out of his pocket, and shot upwards.
...Or, no. That wasn't a gun Duel was looking at. Instead of any bullets coming out when he pulled the trigger, a thin cable with a hook at the end shot out. It latched itself onto one of the higher limbs of the weird golden tree as the cable began to retract, sending Joker soaring over Madarame as he held onto the handle.
In other words, that there was a grappling hook.
As he zipped above the boss, he sent the whole bucket of paint cascading down onto him. Judging by the enraged howl he let out at this, he somehow hadn't expected this to happen. Even though he left his stash of weakness juice right out there in the open. Dumbass.
"NOOOOO!!! Who gave you brats the right to touch my paint?!" He bellowed at the group, which included Joker as he stuck the landing, complete with a dramatic turn to face Madarame.
"...Really? It's sort of in the job description." Joker deadpanned back.
The boss was twisting and turning his still-dripping eye paintings in a frenzy, assessing the damage of what just happened. Yeah, he clearly wasn't a fan of what he was finding.
Still, he tried to steel his expression when he addressed the Phantom Thieves. "You're all still going to die here no matter WHAT you try to pull! You're wasting your effort!!!"
Well, he's not convincing at all, I'll give him that.
"Mona, did that paint weaken his defenses like you theorized?" Fox asked.
The cat nodded. "Sure did. Any element should really hurt any of those pieces now!"
"Hell yeah! Joker, that looked so freakin' awe-!" Cheered Skull, before getting interrupted by another fireball that he barely managed to dodge. "Shit!!"
"You... you WON'T be getting away with this!!!" Madarame screamed at them, though he seemed to already be panting after that attack.
Still have this gross sh*t on me... we better finish this up before something hits!
"Yeah, yeah, less talking, more fighting, I got it. DAROACH! MABUFU!!!"
Duel yanked his mask off again, following that same new feeling he'd felt earlier. Curiously, this time the projectiles were made of the same exploding ice that Fox used regularly, and that the boss had used earlier.
Or not so curious, considering the whole two-element thing is sorta my gimmick.
Wait, the same ice as the boss? Can he seriously not even get his own original attacks?! I mean, I guess I can't either, but... sh*t, quit getting distracted!!
The shadow was still reeling from the attack. "N-no, this isn't how this works... I'm the world-renowned master artist Ichiryusai Madarame! You aren't allowed to defy me!!"
"Save it." Fox growled. He approached the paintings, one hand on the sheathed sword at his hip. With his thumb, he pushed the blade out an inch or two, then grabbed the hilt with his other hand.
Duel blinked, all four paintings suddenly had huge gashes in them that were somehow made by Yusuke's sword.
Wait, what the f*ck?! When'd he do that?!
"He's almost out! Someone give a finishing blow to all four paintings, stat!!" Mona yowled, making Duel remember something.
He totally forgot to give it to Fox earlier, but he had that model assault rifle from Untouchable in his weird blue fire inventory that came with the fit. After summoning it, he ran over and tossed it to its intended owner. "Here, use this!"
Fox caught it with a smile. "Ah, this will do very nicely. Thank you, Duel."
After taking the gun, he smoothly unloaded his ammo into the paintings. He fired it all at once, moving his aim Rambo-style and pretty much painting the canvases with a broad brush stroke of bullet holes.
They all promptly clattered to the floor and melted into some disgusting-looking slurry of paint and shadow goop. It quickly reformed back into the usual human-looking shadow Madarame, clutching the Sayuri and trembling in fear.
"N-no, don't kill me, please..." He whimpered.
Fox just glared down at him.
"I-I mean, the public doesn't value real art, I'm just giving the masses what they want! That's just how the art world works, it's not my fault!"
He grabbed Madarame's collar, and lifted him slightly off the ground.
"A man with a lens as distorted as yours has no right to decide what the art world 'is.' Return to your true self and confess everything you've done."
"You... aren't going to kill me?"
"Do you swear you'll confess?!"
Fox's grip tightened when he shouted that. He couldn't blame the geezer for being terrified. But, he could still blame him for everything else.
Madarame meekly nodded.
"Then we're done here."
He shoved Madarame to the ground, and yanked the Sayuri from his grasp.
We... we did it!!!
"So, y-you're calling the other one off? With the black mask?" He called out to Fox, just as he was turning his back on his old master.
That made him pause. "Other one?"
Madarame nodded.
"Someone... other than us? Here? Is that possible?" Joker asked, seemingly to himself for the most part.
"We don't have time to stand around and figure that out, this palace is gonna start crumbling any second!" Mona reminded them. "Morgana... TRANSFORM!!!"
A tremor ran through the ground right after the Monabus landed, like he'd actually reminded the palace to do that. Hell, maybe he had. Duel still didn't really get cognition sh*t, so he had no way to know.
"Yusuke, w-what should I do after I confess...?"
Madarame suddenly piped up behind them, still on the ground and looking pitiful.
The student looked down at him, and plainly spoke.
"...Put an end to all of this, and use your own artwork for once."
And that was the last time Fox ever looked back at his Sensei before leaving for good.
Notes:
I don't think?? this chapter needs any content or trigger warnings??? But if I'm wrong about that, you know the deal, just lemme know in the comments.
BUT YEAH that's the Madarame boss fight! This was damn hard to figure out how to port to text, but I got there in the end heheh... and it was super fun writing the real treasure reveal with Scott there to react!!There's still a good chunk left of the Madarame arc, but since the next one gets set up right about now I'll get to jump right into the action! >:) I have a good feeling about this next palace having more to actually Write in it lol.
Anyways, see ya next week, and thanks as always for reading!! :D
Chapter 37: Well, After Living in a Shack for Thirteen Years, Pursuing Beauty and Learning from a Master Artist... It's a Little Weird Saying That One of Those Things is Gone.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Yusuke hadn't taken his eyes off the treasure the entire walk back to Shibuya station. It felt like a bad idea to hang around the shack, considering Madarame's real security guards, the paparazzi, nosy fans...
Basically, they didn't know what could happen. And they didn't feel like finding out.
But once they got to their usual hideout at the walkway in Shibuya station, they finally got a chance to breathe... and talk about everything that had just gone down.
"So, I'm guessin' there'll be no way to know if that worked ‘til it happens this time, too. Like with Kamo-shithead." Ryuji said. "Man, I could go for somethin' cold right now... you guys wanna do the after-palace tradition?"
For the first time since they'd left the palace, Yusuke looked up from the treasure. "Hm? What after-palace tradition?"
Ann chuckled. "What, you mean the soda? Also, is it really a tradition if we've only ever done it once?"
"Well, yeah! I'm sayin' we should make it a tradition! Yusuke, whaddaya want from the vending machine after every palace?"
He blinked. "Every palace? Well then, I suppose... some canned iced tea."
Ann's eyebrows flew up. "Whoa, I didn't take you as an iced tea fan, Yusuke!"
"The many designs printed onto each and every can are always beautiful. Actually, I often find the cans more refreshing than the tea itself."
"...Do you eat the cans??" Scott pointed out, though he had to stifle a laugh first.
"Can eatin' or no can eatin', it's Fountain Dew for Scott, Dr. Salt Neo for Ann, fancy-lookin' iced tea for Yusuke, and somethin' random for Ren, yeah? Alright, I'll be right back." After standing up from his spot where he sat and leaned against the railing, Ryuji walked into the crowd and vanished.
"A valiant warrior embarks on a journey to acquire elixirs of refreshment..." Muttered Yusuke, barely audible over the station's hustle and bustle.
"After every palace, eh?" Ren asked. "Does that mean you want to keep being a Phantom Thief?"
The artist nodded. "If you plan on continuing, I'd like to humbly request that I be allowed to join you. You all gave me the strength to face what I'd been turning a blind eye to for years, and I have the chance to pay your kindness forward... I would be a fool not to take it."
Scott raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were already on the team...?"
"Of course you can be on the team!" Mewed Morgana. "You're such a great fighter, I probably would have begged you to stay if you weren't gonna."
Yusuke gave them a relieved smile. "I'll do my best to keep up with you all, then."
"Yo, I'm back with the-" Ryuji stepped back out of the mass of people and into their tiny haven on the walkway, with an arm full of soda. And one iced tea. "Aw hell, did you guys seriously have some heartfelt moment without me?!"
"Oh... oops." Embarrassed, Ren looked down and fidgeted with his bangs.
He broke out into a grin. "Nah, don't sweat it, Ren-Ren! I'm kinda shit with emotions anyways. Just gimme the option next time, y'know?"
Yusuke stared back down at the treasure. "I... am just now realizing that My hands are too full with the Sayuri to actually take the lovely can you retrieved."
"It's cool, Mona'll guard it."
The cat smirked. "That's right, you can trust me to guard anything important! I'll protect this painting with my lif-"
He stopped himself when Ryuji set the iced tea down next to the bag Morgana was in, and looked at it incredulously.
"Wh-! You're making me guard the can?!" He yowled
"You did say anything important..." Scott said with a shrug.
Come to think of it, Scott hadn't gotten a good look at the treasure since they'd left the palace. Now that the group wasn't trying to escape without dying, he could really take in the pure, unaltered work of art.
Oddly, it was identical to its form in the palace for the most part. The ornate frame it was once in was missing, but that was the only difference.
Then again, you don't really need to distort this thing for it to fit the description of 'treasure,' huh...
And that also meant that the tacked-on purple fog wasn't there, unlike the publicly-known version of the painting. The added context made it abundantly clear what the woman's face was saying, despite the subtle expression. Her gaze was one of adoration for her child, but it was also incredibly sad... Scott wasn't sure how Mom Kitagawa pulled it off, but was even more powerful to look at it like this, mystery be damned.
"...It's a good painting." He eventually managed to say.
Yusuke nodded solemnly. "yes... though it's impossible for it to ever go public. It won't ever receive the recognition it deserves."
"It got your recognition, even if it took far longer than it should have." Ren pointed out.
It took him a moment to process that thought. "You... do have a point. Just based on this piece, it's obvious she wasn't aiming to become famous."
"It's a shame the genuine painting at his shack is altered. In a weird way, that's the only genuine Sayuri now." Added Mona.
"Better late than never, right?" Scott asked, cracking open his soda can. "I mean, it's pretty f*cked that it took this long, but it's yours now, Yusuke."
"...Indeed. I suppose that's the most important thing here, when you think about it."
The team's leader looked at each of the thieves with pride. "So, with any luck, that's our second successful operation under our belts. Great work, everybody." He said with a trademark small smile.
"Yeah, and here's to a ton more!" Ann cheered, raising her soda into the air.
"I don't have any hands free to contribute to this toast, but... here's to me leaving Madarame as well. I'll be staying until I can confirm how the change of heart went, but after that, I will be leaving that dilapidated shack for the final time." Yusuke paused, and turned to look through the large windows of the walkway, in the direction of Madarame's shack.
"From now on... I'll paint for myself. Not for someone that will only take my work for his own gain."
And then, he looked back down at the Sayuri.
"I'll pursue my own beauty."
-EVENING-
"Ah, you're finally back. You both sure look tired."
Like usual, as Ren and Scott returned to Leblanc, Sojiro greeted them. Between that and the cozy scent of coffee and curry hitting his nose...
Aaaand that's the Metaverse fatigue setting in. Yep.
"Jesus Scott, you're gonna fall asleep standing up. Get upstairs before I have to peel you off the floor, will ya?"
"Mmh..."
A tired nod was pretty much all he could give before trudging up the steps to Leblanc's attic and collapsing on the futon.
"Why am I so tiiiiiired..." Scott complained.
"Heh, I mean, we did steal our second-ever treasure today. That's a big deal." He heard Ren respond, his trademark small smile damn near audible.
"That, and the stress of being in a palace is extra taxing after the calling card is sent. I'm sure you've noticed that suffocating sense of tension that appears, it's exhausting just to think about." Morgana chimed in. "I doubt getting hit with that paint did you any favors, either."
Scott groaned. "Yeah, yeah, don't remind me... I really hope it's not there next time the outfit poofs on..."
"In that case, might I congratulate the two of you for another job well done! Not only do we have a second major target under our belts, but a whole new team member to boot!"
"Hey, let's not jump the gun here. We don't know yet if Madarame's was successful or not." Added Ren.
"Eh, don't worry about it." Scott's eyelids were getting heavy as he spoke. "I'm sure he's gonna fess up on the deadline date. Intuition n' sh*t."
"Maybe you're right about that. I mean, you predicted that'd be when Kamoshida came and confessed, and sure enough, he showed up. What are you, some kinda oracle?"
"Don't..." A big, long yawn came out of Scott's mouth. "Don't worry 'bout it."
"Alright then, I won't."
Something stung the middle of Scott's forehead. When his eyes fluttered open, he saw Ren standing above him with a cheeky grin and one recently-flicked-with hand suspiciously close to the scene of the crime.
"Instead, I'm gonna worry about making sure you actually use your bed. C'mon sleepyhead, off of the futon."
"But-"
Ren raised an eyebrow. "Want me getting Morgana in to boot you off this thing? You know how he is about sleep."
Yeah, Scott knew that all too well by now. To him, staying up late was even more criminal than their actual crimes were.
"Fine..." He finally relented, dragging himself into pajamas and into the top bunk.
Of course, that damn cat barely gave him time to pull up the sheets before jumping right up onto him and curling up. "You know, if I had a human body, which of course would be my real one, I wouldn't be making it stay up far too late at night or making it sleep on futons when a perfectly good bed is available."
Scott had to awkwardly maneuver the blanket around him to actually finish pulling them up. "Uh-huh. And you're always sleeping on me and Ren because...?"
"To motivate you both in my mission to regain that human body, of course!"
"So you're just doing it to give us a hard time, is what you're saying."
Morgana grinned. "More or less, yeah." A pause. "Still, what was that Madarame was saying about a black mask...?"
"I'm not worrying about foreshadowing until it becomes relevant." Scott tilted his head up a bit to look at the cat. "Besides, why the f*ck are you asking me? Ren's the leader guy."
"You've got a point though, Scott." Said Ren. He turned out the lights in the attic, and crawled his way into his bottom bunk. "We've got nothing about this mystery intruder other than the fact that they're not one of us, and they have a black mask. Other than keep our eyes peeled from here on out, there's not much we can possibly do with that."
"Exactly." Scott's head flopped back onto his pillow with a sigh. "Do we even need to do that, actually? I mean, we didn't spot a guy that's probably got a dark design motif in a palace where every wall was made out of f*cking gold. If they can sneak around that, how the hell are we supposed to catch 'em red-handed?"
A pause. "...You know what?" Ren asked. "Why don't we also put off planning our next course of action till when we're actually needing to."
"No complaints from Scott..."
Morgana yawned one of those huge cat yawns. "Yeah... that's a good idea, Joker."
--6/1-DAYS UNTIL LEGAL ACTION: 4--
-EARLY MORNING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Yusuke] Hello, everyone. I'd like to keep you all updated on Madarame's condition, so...
[Yusuke] He hasn't suffered a mental shutdown, at least. However, he's not said much, or left his room.
[Yusuke] However, he did say... that he was sorry.
[Ryuji] thats gotta be a good sign!!
[Scott] Oh yeah, weve got this in the f*ckin Bag
[Ren] That does sound promising.
[Ren] Kamoshida took several days off of work before he came in to confess. This could be just like how he was during that time frame.
[Ann] yeah exactly!! I was abt to say that lol
[Yusuke] That is reassuring.
[Ann] Kamoshida's change of heart made him like a totally different person! I'm guessing people can't really change that fast...
[Ann] even though we sorta are totally doing that.
[Scott] Yeah! I mean, he told you he was sorry
[Scott] Hes totally got a Bigass Confession revving up as we speak
[Yusuke] Thank you, Scott. I appreciate the enthusiasm.
[Yusuke] And Ann's insider opinion, of course.
[Scott] You bet! I can enthuse about sh*t All. Day. Long.
[Ren] It's true, I've timed it.
[Yusuke] I'd like to witness that.
[Yusuke] It would keep my mind busy as I stress about Madarame's change of heart...
[Scott] I've enthused to less
[Scott] For weaker reasons, too!
[Ann] if you ramble to yourself just to get it out somehow, are you enthusing to nobody or one person (yourself)...?
[Scott] I have never thought of that before, and i dont plan on starting now.
[Ryuji] my man!!!!!!!
[Ryuji] but yeah thanks for keeping us up to date bro
[Ren] Seconded.
[Yusuke] It is my pleasure.
[Yusuke] I'll return when I have something new to tell you all.
[Ryuji] lookin forward to it!!!!
--END LOG--
"Look alive. Miss President's walking over." Ren suddenly stated, looking past Scott.
Wait, here?! They were at the train platform, not at school! Makoto had been keeping her distance for a bit, so Scott guessed she was running out of other angles to investigate. It made sense to resort to approaching them, but...
School hasn't even started yet, is she seriously just that committed to student council sh*t?
Apparently so, because she didn't waste any time at all with any sort of smooth transition into the topic.
"I wanted to ask you two... why did Kamoshida change so suddenly?"
"You really do start all of your conversations like this..."
Makoto rolled her eyes. "Just answer the question."
After a moment of feigning thoughtfulness, Ren shrugged. "Not sure. He grew a conscience, I guess?"
It was clear she wasn't buying a single piece of his bullsh*t, but she nodded anyways. "I see, I see... awfully fast for a change so drastic though, don't you think? What about you, Wozniak-kun?"
Scott was shifting awkwardly in the spot he was standing. "...I plead the third."
She blinked, looked at Scott for a second, and then finally spoke. "...One, this isn't America, you can't plead any of the amendments in the Bill of Rights. Two, the fifth amendment would be the one you'd want to cite here, the third amendment is about quartering soldiers in times of peace. Three, even if you did have the right constitution and the right amendment in mind, those are outlines of things the government cannot do to you. And I'm not the government."
"I still plead the third."
The train finally pulled up to the platform.
About time!!
"Well, we better get in there before it totally fills up. See you, Miss President." Said Ren, before turning to mutter in Scott's direction. "We have got to figure out how to keep you from breaking under pressure like that."
"The hell are you talking about? I handled that as smooth as Devil's Third's development- oh. I see what you mean."
Notes:
"For the millionth time, the American Constitution protects you from the government, not the Makoto." - Makoto Niijima, 2016
BUT YEAH Yusuke's gettin' tf out of there finally!!! Best of luck, bestie!!! Can't wait to write more of your weirdass chemistry with Scott :) Also Makoto's dynamic with him is fucking Incredible, finally Scott meets someone with a brain cell! It's a new experience for both of them!
See you next week for the change of heart! :D
Chapter 38: Jesus Christ, Somebody Get That Guy Some Tissues
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/5-DAYS UNTIL LEGAL ACTION:0--
--EARLY MORNING--
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Yusuke] Everyone, turn on the local news.
[Yusuke] Madarame was on the phone with some of his media contacts last night, and he just rushed out to do "something important" this morning.
[Yusuke] I believe the change of heart is about to take place.
--END LOG--
"Hey Boss, could you turn to the news channel? Apparently something's going on."
Ren had beaten Scott to the punch of asking that. They both eagerly checked their phones when they felt them buzz, wondering if Scott's theory about the confession happening at the last second would end up being correct again. Seemed like now was the moment of truth.
On the other end of things, Sojiro wasn't as curious as those two were. When Ren asked, his first reaction was to grumble to himself about it. "I swear, if it's another mental shutdown case... all I'll hear about all day..."
He still picked up the remote and switched the channel from TV shopping as he grumbled though, so it worked out. Besides, this wasn't even a mental shutdown. The screen was displaying an empty table covered in microphones, the only backdrop to speak of being a gray curtain.
"...And we'll be reporting with live video from this sudden press conference called by Ichiryusai Madarame as soon as it starts. We weren't given a set time, but we're told it'll be any minute now. Don't change that channel, folks!"
Based on how he wasn't grumbling under his breath anymore, it was safe to say that Sojiro was actually kinda interested now that it was shown to be about something else.
"Madarame? Like that one artist guy who's got an exhibition going on over in Shibuya?"
Ren nodded. "Seems like it."
Sojiro crossed his arms and leaned into the back of the counter. "I guess I'll listen in, then. About time something different happened around here."
Morgana's head even popped out of the bag Ren had set on top of the counter.
"Oh, we're just getting word that it's about to start! Yes, here he comes, sitting down at the table! He appears to be... wait, is he crying?"
Sure enough, Madarame came into view as he sat down in front of the myriad of microphones, barely keeping himself from bursting into tears on the spot. He must have already been crying, based on his red cheeks... in fact, they were actually still wet. The flashes of countless cameras not visible to them made that very clear.
"I..."
The man started, then had to stop to compose himself. After stifling a few sobs, he leaned back into the microphone closest to him.
"I-I have committed crimes that are u-unbecoming of an artist."
He couldn't possibly stop the tears anymore. Instead, he simply powered through them and continued his confession.
"I will not hide this from the world any longer. The truth behind my varied styles is... is plagiarism. I am a disgrace to the Japanese art world, a complete embarrassment."
The 'power through the tears' strategy was quickly breaking down. He put his head in his hands, and kept going without lifting it.
"Even Sayuri is not my own work! I know I'll never be able to truly atone for the sins I've committed, I am so, so sorry!!!"
He was full-on weeping now. He banged his fist on the table, completely unable to bear the weight of what he'd done. Tears streamed down his face like a god damn waterfall, and his expression was one of absolute anguish...
"T-this conference is over! I must go and turn myself in to the police immediately!"
Everyone was stunned to silence as Madarame abruptly stood up and ran off stage. Ren, Scott, Morgana, Sojiro, even the news anchor that had been doing a voiceover before the confession began... nobody knew what to say.
And I'm technically part of why it happened in the first place! How is it so shocking again?!
The news anchor finally managed to get himself together. "U-uh, that was... we'll keep you all updated as details are released."
Yeah, that's journalism code for "What the f*ck was that?!"
"...Damn." Said Ren, doing a very good job of looking completely unphased. Actually, was that even an act?! "Anyways, we're gonna be meeting up with friends today. We won't be out too late."
"...Sure, kid." Sojiro was in too much shock to really respond.
Yeah, I can't blame him.
-DAYTIME-
"That was effin' INCREDIBLE! Just like how it went with Kamoshida!"
As always, Ryuji was being way too loud.
"Quiet down, you moron!" Morgana hissed from Ren's bag. "This place has a ton of ambient noise, and you're still managing to make us stand out!"
"Ah c'mon, don't worry about it! Not like anyone's gonna walk over and go 'hey, what was incredible?'"
Yusuke raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps not, but people may begin to eavesdrop on us. That could possibly end up being far more dangerous than someone that actually approaches us."
"Alright, alright, I'll be quiet..."
"Now that we've got the weekly reminder for Ryuji to not blow our cover out of the way, check it out!" Turning the phone around to show the screen, Ann scrolled through an article about the confession and landed on a photo of the cards they'd posted. "Tons of news sites are talking about how this came right after the calling card!"
Ren leaned forward to read out the caption. "The Phantom Thieves strike again, back with a brand-new and vastly upgraded card design. Could this be more than an odd prank coinciding with unexplained events?"
C'mon, that was just uncalled for. "Well, there's no need to rub it in..." Mumbled Scott, pouting.
While Ren looked at him again, Ryuji was beaming up at the rest of the team from his spot where he sat on the floor. "Y'know what this means, right? We're startin' to get famous! Ain't that sick?!"
Ann scoffed, and raised an eyebrow for good measure. "You do remember we're only going for fame so that we can give others courage, right? Not to boost our own egos."
"Of course I know that! That's why I'm excited! Jeez..."
Ren adjusted his glasses. "I don't think there's any need to limit our goals to getting back at society and giving others courage. Not talking about the fame, but..." Turning his gaze to the clear sky above Shibuya outside the window, he spoke with serious determination. It was impressive, with how soft his tone still was. "A power like this... I think we could do even more good. Even more widespread than Madarame's change of heart, if we keep aiming higher."
"That's gonna be your job as usual, Ryuji! You are good at finding people to moan about, after all." Mona added with a teasing smirk.
"Dude, that one wasn't even funny. Still up to the task, though! I'll let ya know as soon as I find somethin', so get yourselves ready!"
"We'll be counting on you, then." Ren said with a signature small smile and thumbs-up.
...To tell the truth, Scott was really only half-listening at this point. He'd noticed something, looking out into the crowd.
"You guys think there's way too many cops around here for a Sunday afternoon, or is it just me?"
Ryuji blinked. "Huh, you're right. Do they just have too much time on their hands or something?"
Not enough dinner parties to murder at or courtrooms to lie in, eh?
Regardless of their empty schedules or lack thereof, it probably wasn't a great idea to stay here. After all, this was a friend group entirely made up of victims of those who experienced a change of heart. Seemed like Ren had come to the same conclusion.
"We should probably continue this conversation elsewhere." He said, expression as indecipherable as ever.
Yeah... why the f*ck are we meeting right out here in the open again?!
Yusuke sighed. "That'd be for the best. I suppose I should be going and packing my things."
"Packing? You goin' somewhere?" Asked Ryuji.
...Scott, on the other hand, saw this coming. After all, Madarame was probably going to prison, and no independent person, artist or not, would leave things the way they are right now.
"You're moving out of that crusty-ass shack, aren't you?"
"Yes, that's exactly right. How on Earth did you know?"
"It's crusty as ass. No one in their right mind would ever willingly choose to stay there." He deadpanned back.
After a moment of hesitation, Yusuke let out a small laugh. "Precisely. The fact that it's falling apart with drafts in every room, combined with its complete lack of a pleasant visual aesthetic and the memories I now associate with it... ‘crusty as ass' is quite apt."
Ren tilted his head to the side a bit. "Do you have anywhere else to go?" Okay, Scott may not be able to read Ren's expression half the time, but right now it was incredibly easy to read.
No idea how Sojiro would react to some mystery friend crashing in his cafe's attic, though. Hopefully he's got a backup already...
Thankfully, Yusuke nodded. "Yes, I do. Thanks to my fine arts scholarship, I can stay in the Kosei High dorms free of charge. Though, it's not going to be the ideal location for my pursuit of beauty... Takamaki-san, would you object to the idea of me staying in your home for the time being? I'm sure your sense of style would be a sight for sore eyes."
"Hell NO!!!" She flinched backwards at the mere idea, but quickly composed herself and continued. "I'll... be taking that as a compliment, though."
It was clear that Yusuke didn't have any ulterior motives in suggesting this, his comment on style was very obviously genuine... but turning him down was probably Ann's best move here. Still, the guy looked disappointed.
"Ah... that's alright. Well, I suppose I should get my belongings together and make the arrangements to stay at the school dorms."
"Damn though, you've got a scholarship? Like, you're just so damn good at art that the school's fine with you livin' there rent-free?" Ryuji was pretty damn impressed. "Oh, you need someone to help you lift shit into your room?"
The artist thought for a moment. "I don't believe that will be necessary. I'll be packing fairly light."
Ren smiled. "Well, the group chat is open if you change your mind."
"You're all too kind..." Yeah, Yusuke clearly wasn't used to people giving a sh*t about him. He was smiling at them, but there was this underlying anxiety to it. The kind of anxiety that always comes with brand-new situations, whether they're good or bad.
"Hmm..." It was clearly a jokey one, but Ren was putting on a look like he was deep in thought. "Nah, I think we're just nice enough."
--6/6--
-EARLY MORNING-
Another day, another packed schedule of classes...
Out of all the sh*tty things that came with staying in Persona 5, going to school was by far the worst part about it. At least Scott could phone in all of the classwork, but it was still mind-numbingly boring to sit at that goddamn desk all day. He let out a sigh, and pulled the Shujin Academy uniform jacket over his light blue hoodie as usual.
"Uh, Scott? What are you wearing that for?"
Ren was standing behind him while Scott loaded his books into his school bag when he asked that.
"What do you think? It's the school uniform-"
He'd started his response before actually turning around, so the sight Scott was met with when he finally was facing Ren completely blindsided him.
Ren Amamiya was wearing... a polo.
Oh dear God.
"Wh- did I accidentally slip into a timeline where Wii Play Motion doesn't exist???"
"...What?" Oh Christ, Ren was tilting his head to the side in confusion. Bad sign. Very bad sign.
Scott frantically dug his phone out from his pocket and googled Wii Play Motion. A Wikipedia page describing the game and its existence appeared. He breathed a well-warranted sigh of relief.
Crisis averted!!!
"I'm saying the switch to summer uniforms is today. You don't wear the jacket again until we switch back to winter ones again."
Wait...
That's a part of the uniform?!
--6/7--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] hey you guys see what got posted on the board today??
[Ren] I'm guessing you're talking about the "request for information."
[Ryuji] yeah!! Apparently principal kobayakawa put that up
[Yusuke] Sorry, but could someone explain? I appear to be out of the loop.
[Ann] it was a notice looking for info on anything suspicious!
[Ann] it's addressed to the whole student body, and anyone with any info is supposed to go to the student council with it
[Scott] Ah christ it's mini liza again
[Ryuji] mini who?
[Scott] Nothing, never mind...
[Scott] But its supposed to be for info on us, right? Whats with the vagueass "anything suspicious?"
[Ren] Maybe they're trying not to draw attention to the fact that they're investigating the Phantom Thieves for some reason?
[Yusuke] Yes, it does seem odd that a high school would be investigating this... even if it was also the site of the first change of heart.
[Scott] I feel like leaving it vague is just gonna make people speculate More, though
[Scott] Like "oh thats pretty vague, must be about some juicy sh*t" yknow??
[Ann] something tells me our principal isn't capable of realizing that...
[Ryuji] right!! Get his ass ann!!!
[Yusuke] Won't any relevant information on the Phantom Thieves be drowned out by concerns about the rising crime rate in Shibuya?
[Scott] Huh???
[Ryuji] yeah i would also like to ask
[Ryuji] huh?????
[Ann] you guys haven't heard?
[Ann] Shibuya's been dealing with a ton of phishing scams
[Ann] I think it has something to do with the mob??
[Yusuke] Precisely. Individuals are being approached on the street and asked if they would like a well paying part-time job. Often high schoolers.
[Yusuke] If they foolishly accept, whoever is running this gets incriminating photos of them even before they have the chance to realize what is happening, let alone to back out.
[Ren] Ah, I think I did hear about this...
[Ren] Nobody knows who's running the operation behind the scenes, and the police aren't exactly making much progress in finding out.
[Scott] Well thats pretty f*cked!
[Scott] Yeah, looks like the principal and the student council are really shooting themselves in the foot here...
[Scott] Or like. Playing paddleball backwards idk
[Ryuji] youd think that miss prezd figure that out, since shes sooo smart with her straight As... >:/
[Ann] ah wait while everyone is online i wanted to ask!!
[Ann] what are you guys doing for the social studies trip?
[Ann] minus Yusuke, sorry :(
[Yusuke] It's quite alright.
[Ren] I was thinking I'd do the TV station.
[Ryuji] guhhhh why you gotta bring that up........
[Ryuji] whys this shit gotta be required?? Maybe i could ditch it...
[Ren] Sorry, but the extra attention you'd get that way would be risky...
[Ren] If you also chose the TV station, we could at least go together.
[Ryuji] thats okay... i GUESS.....
[Ann] oh hey, that's the one I was thinking on picking!
[Scott] Yeah, same here
[Scott] Ive always wanted to be on tv... i used to record my own comedy show as a kid and put em on dvds with cases i drew the covers for and everything!
[Scott] Also i wanna make up for lost time after i couldnt get in the background of the madarame interview >:/
[Ryuji] its weird, but the idea of you making your own comedy shit just... Works
[Yusuke] Indeed. You have a natural disposition that would lend itself well to comedy.
[Yusuke] I am a visual artist first and foremost, but I just get that sense from you.
[Ren] Yeah, you seem like someone who was made for comedy television.
[Scott] Thank you????? Im taking that as a compliment.
[Ann] looks like we all decided to do the same thing on our own!
[Ann] mostly lmao
[Ryuji] well excuuuuuse me for rebelling. I kinda thought that was our whole thing!! :/
[Scott] is typing...
[Scott] Theres a time and a pl
--END LOG--
"Sir, I appreciate the idea, but I would have really preferred it if you had consulted me before posting that."
Scott looked up from his phone. He'd been on his way to the courtyard to get something from the vending machines, texting as he walked, when a very familiar voice reached his ears.
Is that mini-Liza...?
This was the principal's office he was passing. She was probably talking about that request for information.
She didn't even know that was going up? Looks like Ryuji might be onto something...
He slowed to a stop. The door hadn't been shut properly, so it was pretty easy to hear what was going on inside. Looks like Scott was going to be doing some stealthy thief sh*t on this side of things, too.
"Well? I'm sure you've gotten a good few clues on how to locate the Phantom Thieves by now!"
That was the principal's voice. It was irritatingly smug, apparently blissfully unaware of what Makoto was probably there to talk about.
"No, sir. That's the thing, we've been getting tips, but they're all about a separate issue entirely. I've received multiple reports of students being threatened by a criminal organization. What are we going to do about that?"
"What? No way that would ever happen to students of our fine academy!"
"What reason would anyone have to submit false tips? Even without concrete proof, we don't have time to sit and deliberate about whether we're going to do anything or not."
"You think there's anything I can do? I've already got my hands full with this Phantom Thieves case!"
"I'm still investigating that, but surely it can be treated as a lower priority issue until we resolve this one."
"There's no 'we' to this. If you'd like to take action in regards to this alleged criminal threat, I certainly won't stop you. However, I am simply unable to address any other matters at this time."
"B-but, Sir!"
"Now, now. Your sister could have handled both matters with one hand behind her back, surely you're just as capable as she is. It runs in the family, after all."
A moment of tense silence.
"Yes, Sir. I have nothing else to report, so if you'll excuse me..."
Scott froze. He wasn't exactly sticking his head into the room he was snooping on, but he was hanging out suspiciously close to it...
Okay, just act natural and look at your phone. Maybe she won't even notice you!
As Makoto walked out of the principal's office, she looked tired as all hell. Not on a literal level, but more like on an emotional one.
She stood there with her fists balled at her sides for way too long. Just staying silent while also giving Scott five f*cking heart attacks per second, before she eventually shook her head and brought herself back to reality. After letting out a deep sigh... she finally walked off without noticing Scott.
After letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, Scott couldn't help but think about what he just overheard. First and foremost, this principal blows. Now that that thought was out of the way, he wondered what that conversation could possibly end up foreshadowing.
...Wait, no, still refusing to worry about that stuff until it's relevant. Besides, I can't be saying awake and stressing about this the nights before- oh f*ck, that damn cat's got me caring about sleep now too!!
Notes:
The change of heart's taken place, but we aren't quite done with the Madarame arc yet! That's still a few chapters away, but until then, we've got some setup for the next one already taking place! :)
I always found it weird that we, as the player, didn't get to see Madarame's confession live rather than as a clip rerun for the news. So I fixed that!Extra notes: summer uniform time, babey!!! Scott actually just wears his hoodie over it bc being in a polo is, quote, "f*cking terrifying." I'll post some art to my tumblr shortly after I publish this!
Next week, we're going to the TV station that was mentioned in the IM log! Those who already know P5 should be very excited for that moment... so I'll see you all then! :)
Chapter 39: That's Where Nick at Nite Goes, Not Me!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/9--
-AFTERNOON-
Unfortunately, the TV station trip reeked. The things they walked them through were all explained on an elementary school level, or hell, maybe even lower. Sh*t like 'the editing room is where footage is edited.' Riveting stuff. But, of course, as soon as the cameras started actually rolling, everyone was capable of doing high school-level 'hands-on experience.' Or, as people with brains called it, manual labor. But the first day's events were over now, and Scott, Ren, and Ryuji stood around in the hallway as they waited for Ann to get back.
"I swear, if any of those sleazy crew guys tried anything with Ann while we were stuck with those damn cables, I'll rip their goddamn hearts out."
Jesus Christ, Ryuji.
From out of the corner of Scott's eye that he was using to give him an alarmed stare, he could see Morgana's head pop out from Ren's bag.
"Ryuji!! We're all normal students today, remember?! Don't say stuff that'll get people suspicious!"
"Not like there's anyone here to eavesdrop on us in the first place!"
"We don't know that! This hallway has a ton of tight corners, there could easily be someone else around here!"
Clearly too tired to deal with their bullsh*t, Ren interrupted the argument. "Ryuji, I wholeheartedly agree with you about the TV crew. But Morgana's also right, it'd be a better idea to use the group chat for comments like that when we're out and about."
Of course, Ryuji's stubborn ass couldn't let the subject go completely, so he settled on pouting without putting up any more real fuss.
"Oh! Lady Ann's back!" Morgana mewed, seeming to instantly move on from the squabble that had just been taking all of his attention.
Yeah, she looked just as tired as the rest of them. "God, day one of this trip's finally over... just another whole day to go." Sh*t, Ann actually sounded even more tired than she looked, by some miracle.
Scott crossed his arms and scowled. "Seriously... if this were Ohio, this'd be over already. Field trips never went this long unless they were some major event!"
"Well, we might as well spend some time in the area before we go home, try and salvage the day. Any requests?" Ren asked, tilting his head slightly to the side.
Before anyone else could even process that question, Morgana was already piping up. "Oh, oh! What about that one place that looked like a huge pancake? They gotta have what they're shaped like, right?"
Ryuji somehow was able to decipher what the cat had just said, probably thanks to thinking of that comparison in the past. Seemed like a Ryuji thing to do. "Oh, that's Dome Town! That round part's actually a baseball stadium, but there's an amusement park around it!"
Looked like Ann may not have thought deeply about the similarities between a stadium and a pancake, but she did clearly know about Dome Town based on the way her eyes lit up.
"Yeah! I hear the rollercoasters are actually pretty hardcore, too! Kinda surprising, since it's in the middle of a commercial district."
"Rollercoasters? You mean they made that one Mac photo booth background a real thing?" Asked Scott. Seemed like the day was redeemable after all, despite everything that had come before it.
Morgana was obviously disappointed by the lack of pancakes involved, but wasn't dissuaded by that, either. "That sounds pretty fun, too... I'm still in if everyone else is!"
"...You do know you're just gonna puke in Ren's bag if you try to ride anything, right?"
"Oh, those uniforms... are you all from Shujin Academy?"
A soft, proper voice suddenly chimed in. When Scott turned to look, a young man with shoulder-length light brown hair was standing there. It was hard to put into words why, but his appearance definitely matched the sound of his voice. He wore what looked like another school uniform, but it wasn't one Scott actually recognized. It somehow looked fancier than Shujin's though, with that brown wool jacket, neatly tightened striped tie, the crisp-looking button-up underneath... were the black gloves a part of the uniform too??
Then again, maybe he's the one making the uniform look fancy...
"Ah, look at me, just waltzing into your conversation without introducing myself! I'm Goro Akechi, I figured it'd be nice to greet you all. After all, you and the other Shujin students attending this trip will be making up my live studio audience tomorrow."
Ren tilted his head to the side a bit. " Your studio audience? Are you the special guest they're filming on Good Morning Japan tomorrow?"
"Ah... they say special, but I've only appeared on TV a small number of times before this. So, I'd hardly call myself special." The boy, Akechi by the sounds of things, showed them all a sheepish smile at that. He almost looked embarrassed, jeez. "Ah, but I can't talk long. I've got a briefing on tomorrow's recording in a few minutes. I'd much rather be out having pancakes like you're all planning to... I'm actually a bit jealous."
"...Pancakes? What are you talking about?"
"Hm? I thought I heard someone mention the idea of going to get delicious pancakes. I didn't mishear you, did I?"
Ryuji narrowed his eyes, scanning Akechi up and down like some kinda human version of Eye Toy: Operation Spy. "Yeah man, we aren't gettin' pancakes."
"M-my, perhaps I was more hungry than I realized if my mind is tricking me like that! I'll have to remedy that after the briefing, then."
There was another completely indecipherable expression on Ren's face. He really was a fan of those, huh?
After an awkward moment of silence that felt like it went on for way more than just a moment, Akechi finally decided that this conversation was a bust and that he had to get the f*ck outta there before things got even more slightly uncomfortable.
"Well, I suppose I should get going, wouldn't want to be late for that briefing! I'll see you all tomorrow!"
And with that, he shuffled off down the hallway. Jesus, that sound of his dress shoes against the hard floor was absolutely not easing the tension.
Well, there was also something else about that brief exchange that felt off to Scott. He wasn't sure what exactly, but it sure was something. After a short moment of trying to pick out what was off, he just decided to shrug it off instead.
Foreshadowing season is in, seems like... still not giving a sh*t, though.
--6/10--
-AFTERNOON-
"Alright, we're cutting back from commercials! In five... four... three... two...!"
An excited chatter had filled the air before suddenly going quiet when the cameras began to roll.
It was the second day of the TV station trip, and by some minor miracle, there was something actually interesting going on this time. Scott had sorta known it was coming, but it didn't really hit him until they had actually taken their seats in the studio audience.
They do sweeping shots of this sorta thing, right? I'll finally have a documented recorded achievement that isn't immediately undermined by Toys R Us not actually closing!
Just like he'd said yesterday, the special guest (regardless of what he said, the excitement in the air clearly cemented him as special) the host's assistant was currently introducing was Goro Akechi. His smile and wave were so insanely pleasant, damn.
After going over how this wasn't Akechi's first rodeo on here, and that he was invited back, yadda yadda yadda, the assistant finally got to the point.
"So, back for another interview, we have the high-school detective that's been a real hit with girls all across Japan! Please welcome Goro Akechi!"
Parts of the audience around Scott cheered excitedly, which mostly (but not completely) consisted of, like the introduction said, girls. So that's why he was a celebrity.
He's a high-school detective, though? What is this, a Nancy Drew game?
"Thank you for having me again. I suppose I can't dodge the title of celebrity any longer, but do you truly think I have fans across all of Japan? Very flattering, either way..."
The role of Talking-To-Akechi-McGee then passed to a man that seemed to be the host of this show.
"I'm sure we'll start getting complaints if we stall this question any longer, so I'll ask you this right off the bat. What can you tell us about any cases you're working on?"
Another warm smile. "You certainly aren't beating around the bush, are you? I'm actually working on investigating the recent scandal surrounding Madarame, particularly around the potential involvement of these so-called Phantom Thieves of Hearts."
"Oho, so you've got Phantom Thieves on the mind as well! Tell me, what exactly do you think about them? Do you think they really exist?"
The smile faded, and a thoughtful look took its place. It was clear he'd been thinking about the details of this case day in and day out, to the point that he had completely settled on an opinion on the matter. The detective put a hand to his chin as he continued.
"Well, the part of me that laments the fact that Santa Claus isn't real sincerely hopes they exist. They're self-proclaimed heroes of justice, akin to the heroes you'll often see in comics, especially in America. Who wouldn't hear about them and hope deep down that there are people out there with superpowers that are using their abilities for good? That said..."
Akechi's expression changed again. This time, it was a deadly serious one. A subtle one, sure, but somehow that only amplified its expressiveness.
"...I am a detective first and foremost, and fantasies aren't part of the job description. Keeping this in mind, there's only one real conclusion I can draw... at least based on the assumption that they are, in fact, real."
"And that is...?"
"That they should be tried in a court of law."
The other Shujin students all broke into low murmurs. From the seat in front of him, Scott could already hear Ryuji getting pissed. He was practically growling, and having a very hard time keeping himself from jumping up and cussing Akechi out.
Scott himself, on the other hand, was just confused. He spent all that time hyping up the idea that they exist, only to pull this...? What the f*ck was his play here??
"That's quite the turnaround from your comments earlier! Tell us, why exactly do you believe that?"
As he continued, Akechi leaned forward and knit his fingers together, letting his elbows rest on his legs.
"The most obvious thing is the fact that by picking and choosing whose hearts they'll change, which seems to be what's going on based on the wording of these calling cards, they're taking things into their own hands by bypassing the law. Becoming the judge, jury, and executioner. Without the checks and balances of our legal system, I can hardly call what they've done justice."
"You do have a point... what would you say to those advocating for the Phantom Thieves, saying that they're changing the evil ways of their victims?"
"I'd ask them this: if one's forceful change of heart is the reason they're confessing their actions... is that truly their confession? In my opinion, that's just manipulation. Don't get me wrong, the actions of Kamoshida and Madarame are both unforgivable crimes. But if it weren't for the countless other testimonies from their victims and the piles of physical evidence, their cases could very well just be thrown out. Coerced confessions aren't admissible evidence in a court of law."
"That's quite the take on the matter, I wonder what our live studio audience thinks!"
Hearing the host bring up the audience, the assistant announcer lady piped up again. "Alright, those of you that think the Phantom Thieves exist, please press your buttons now!"
Oh yeah, they'd passed those out earlier. They were pretty simple wireless devices that resembled the buzzer Scott had used on Say That Answer. In fact, he heard a very firm click coming from Ryuji in front of him, along with some incredulous swearing mumbled under his breath.
For a moment, Scott hesitated.
Do I know they exist? Yeah, of course I do. Do I think they exist...? Eh sure, f*ck it.
He pressed the button with a very satisfying click of his own.
When the time window for buzzing in was up, the number of people here who believed in the Thieves was displayed proudly on a display in the center of the set's background.
"Eighteen, eh? That's just about a third of our audience today! Akechi, what are your thoughts on that?"
"My, that's actually a bit higher than I expected. But the real question is, what are the opinions of those who believe they're real?"
"Well, let's find out, shall we?"
The assistant picked up a nearby wireless microphone, and started looking around the audience for someone to ask. Of course, the one she ended up settling on was Ren.
Sh*t, now's my chance! Lean into frame, lean into frame!!
"Hmm... you! What do you think of the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, assuming they're real?"
Ren hesitated. It was easy to read his expression as thinking of how to phrase what he knew he wanted to say, but Scott wasn't so sure. It was extremely hard to really tell, but it looked more like he was scrambling for something that was supportive without sounding suspiciously supportive.
"...They do what the justice system doesn't."
Quite a few people snickered at that, Scott included. Actually, Akechi was included as well. He looked oddly happy about being hit with a diss.
"Well, you certainly don't mince words, do you? Not to mention that only narrowly avoiding being an entirely direct jab at me... I have to commend you on your artful execution there."
"Not to mention it going completely against your opinion that they should be tried!"
"Indeed. Say that, if you don't mind me asking another question that is, the heart of a person you're close to suddenly changed. Someone like that friend of yours that's currently trying desperately to get into frame from the seat behind you, for example." He chuckled as he said that bit. "But, if he were to suddenly change on a fundamental level, to the extent of barely being recognizable... would you suspect the Phantom Thieves were responsible for it?"
"No, I wouldn't." His answer was firm. "After all, they've only targeted criminals who have done truly terrible things. None of my friends are like that."
"And how can you be so sure of that? Considering the fact that we've only seen two of their targets so far."
"You mentioned the wording of their calling cards earlier. They specifically outline what a person has done that warranted their actions, does that sound like a group that would change someone's heart if they were innocent? No, it's clear to me that they only act with purpose."
By now, the entire audience was watching them go back and forth in awe. Holy f*ck, Ultra Smash wished it could make a back-and-forth packed with this much suspense.
Everyone seemed to expect Akechi to continue their verbal volleying, but he instead simply smiled and let out a single chuckle. "Very interesting... well, I shouldn't take up too much time with the audience commentary. I will say that I liked that little debate of ours, but there is something else I wanted to go into while I'm here."
The assistant returned to her seat, and the host raised an eyebrow.
"Oh? What would that be?"
That contemplative look returned to Akechi's face. "Their modus operandi, or how exactly they change hearts. If it's truly the case that they have some form of supernatural means to do what they do, would that mean it's possible to apply that to other crimes? The Phantom Thieves' intentions aside, we have absolutely no idea what they can and cannot do. It's entirely possible that unsolvable crimes would begin popping up left and right, not to mention how easy it is to imagine using this power to frame an innocent person."
"I see... goodness, that's a worrying thought!"
"Oh, there's no need for that. This is nothing more than a hypothetical, of course. But for a detective like me, it's too risky to not look into it. As I said, I'm already working with the police on this matter, so you can rest assured that it will one day be resolved." He sighed.
"But for now... the mere existence of the Phantom Thieves and their abilities is a threat to our everyday lives."
The interview ended pretty shortly after that. Or... maybe it didn't. To tell the truth, Scott was having a hard time paying attention from then on. No matter how much he thought about it, Akechi's arguments didn't make any sense. Why the f*ck was everyone buying this?!
At first, he figured it was just people following the popular guy. But that theory was thrown out pretty quickly after the group met up at one wall of the filming area.
Specifically, it was when Ann asked a certain question.
"...Is it just me, or did Akechi have a point?"
"Wh-" Scott couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You're sh*tting me, right? He didn't make a single point that was actually solid! The only thing that could be considered anything close to that was the bit about coerced confessions, but that's still about as stable as my finances!"
"No clue what the hell you're talkin' about, but I agree! The hell is his beef with u- erm, the Phantom Thieves?!" Ryuji exclaimed. God, he had to get those slips on lock before they came back to bite them in the ass.
"Yeah, I don't know what his deal is! All of his arguments were nothing but hypothetical sh*t he pulled out of his ass, for one thing. He couldn't point out anything that they've actually done that's wrong. I mean sure, the confessions are forced out, that's true. But the thing is, there's no way there'd ever be a case where there isn't a single piece of physical evidence! And he should know that, he's a f*cking detective!"
Ren nodded. "Plus, it's not like the law is some perfect moral code. Scott and I know that all too well, actually." He fidgeted with his bangs as he continued.
"It almost sounds like he's hellbent on making the Phantom Thieves look bad, but he clearly can't bring up a solid reason for that. So why...?
"Hmph." Apparently, Ryuji knew exactly why. "It's clearly some kinda dick-measuring contest. Like, he's the cops, and they're the robbers. His high and mighty ass probably thinks it's some sorta game!"
"Ryuji, gross!!"
"Shit, sorry Ann. You guys get what I'm sayin' though, right?!"
Ren nodded. "Yeah, and you may very well be right. It's also possible this is some sort of publicity stunt, or something else entirely. But there's no way to know for sure..." He trailed off, clearly worried about this.
Okay, I can't watch this.
"Look, as much as I love dunking on cops, it's way too early to start freaking the f*ck out about this."
After needing to pause to pinch the bridge of his nose under his glasses, Scott continued with an exasperated sigh.
"This is foreshadowing, plain and simple. There isn't anything we can really do about it now, and trying anyways is just gonna be annoying as hell, and it'll run us ragged."
For a moment, nobody really knew what to think about that. But as his point finally started to set in for Ren, he shot Scott a small smile.
"Yeah. We'll burn that bridge when we come to it, right?"
"That's not the metaphor..." Groaned Ann.
Ryuji didn't look like he wanted to accept putting this off for later, but did eventually relent. "Fine... hold on, I gotta go take a wicked piss to calm myself down before we go."
He had said that loud enough for several of the TV crew members and Shujin students that were lagging behind stared at them.
"...Ryuji, you have got to learn how to be- ugh, whatever! I'm waiting outside."
And there she went. Now that that had been said, Ann awkwardly walked out of the TV set to escape everyone's stares. Ryuji looked blankly at her as she did, looking like he had no idea what Ann was talking about.
What am I thinking? Of course he doesn't.
Point was, he shrugged and strolled off towards the men's room after that.
"What a bonehead..." Morgana, who had been hiding in the bag the whole time they'd been here, finally piped up. The layers of fabric even had the side effect of making his voice sound pretty muffled.
Really? Scott had to raise an eyebrow at that. "Yeah, his codename's Skull. we already knew tha- ough!!"
He'd been interrupted by an elbowing from Ren, who also made sure that the bag Morgana was in would get a good jostling as well. From what Scott could tell, Ren was staring at a boy that was approaching.
Oh f*ck it's the detective kid.
"There you are! I'm glad I was able to catch up to you before you left, to properly thank you for the debate earlier." He looked over at Scott. "Ah, and I suppose I should thank you as well, for being an example in my hypothetical situation."
Huh. He's thanking Ren for an argument? That's... different.
"...No problem." It was pretty clear that Ren was just as confused as Scott was, but was rolling with it.
Akechi gave them a sheepish smile. "I suppose that's not an ordinary thing to thank someone for, what I mean by that is it was a meaningful discussion. I feel like both of our understandings on the matter have been improved, if that makes any sense."
God, this guy was weird. It took a moment for Scott to even parse what the f*ck he just said. "...You mean like a therapy session?"
"Well, not quite. But perhaps similar methods are used in that setting, and I'm just not aware of it. No, I'm referring to something more along the lines of the Socratic method. A style of debate, introduced by Socrates of course, where one man approaches another with a thesis. The other makes counterpoints that focus on the nuance of that thesis, rather than simply insisting it's false. For example, when I challenged your assertion that we haven't seen enough victims to truly zero in on their intentions, you pointed out the phrasing on their calling cards I had mentioned earlier. It did nullify my point, but we both stimulated our minds doing so. Does that make sense?"
After thinking it through for a second, Scott realized that sorta did make sense, unlike his statements during the interview.
He nodded as he started to speak. "I think I get it... when my friends kept saying that Chibi-Robo Zip Lash isn't that bad, I had to figure out how to tell them that I realize it works, but it's an unfun hostage situation in a box that comes with an Amiibo. Which, if you didn't know, is a bad thing."
"Precisely! Well, I think I'm missing a bit of the context here, but the general idea is exactly what I'm talking about. Hm, looks like interesting viewpoints can come in pairs..." Akechi stepped back and looked them over, like he was trying to figure out what the hell their deal was just by looking at them. It didn't look like he was having much success, but that seemed to only intrigue him more. "By the way, I don't think I've caught either of your names."
Ren took the initiative here, shaking the detective's hand. "I'm Ren Amamiya. This is my friend Scott Wozniak."
"Hey all!" Added Scott with a wave.
For some reason, that statement seemed to confuse Akechi. "All...?" He took a second to look around, checking if anyone else was listening. "Well, I got a bit sidetracked there. I also wanted to tell you that I understand why you'd support the Phantom Thieves, Amamiya-san."
That earned an eyebrow raise from Ren. "Do you?"
"Believe it or not, yes. I'm all too aware of the power imbalance between generations in our society. The young are expected to simply listen to and obey adults, and far too many abuse that position. If one had the ability to put a stop to that, I'd imagine they'd feel duty-bound to carry that justice out." He looked solemn as he spoke, but that quickly changed to a slightly peeved expression, complete with a small huff. "That said, the way they seem to operate from the shadows... that's a coward's approach. At least, it is in my eyes."
For a brief moment, Scott could see a mischievous glimmer in Ren's eye, despite his otherwise stoic expression.
Oh f*ck, he's got something up his sleeve...
"Just standing by and doing nothing would be much more cowardly though, wouldn't it?"
Oh, Akechi did not see that one coming. But at the same time, that only intrigued him more.
"You really are something special, aren't you...? Would you mind sharing your contact details with me? That way, we could meet up to do more elenchus- that's the name of the debate structure that the Socratic method utilizes- when I have a moment between all my casework."
Contact info...? Is it really a good idea to have the guy investigating the crimes group you're leading on speed-dial??
"Sure, why not." Ren simply stated, taking out his phone.
Wait, what?! He was actually going for this??? When Ren finally looked up from punching in Akechi's phone number, Scott had already been giving him an incredulous stare for a while now. But he apparently decided to ignore that.
"...Registered! Well Amamiya-san, I look forward to hearing more from you." Akechi smiled, and tucked his phone back into his pocket. "Perhaps I'll head straight home to finish some homework right now. That way, it'll be easier for me to find the time to get in touch!"
"Likewise." Said Ren.
"Oh, and Wozniak-san..." Oh Christ what did he want with him. "I don't think I would object to you tagging along every now and then. You're very different from Amamiya-san here, but I can just sense that you'd also be a fascinating debate partner."
"...Sense?" Yeah Scott was pretty understandably weirded out by that phrasing.
"I don't mean that in a 'psychic abilities' sort of way, more like... intuition. When you've seen plenty of interesting cases in the past, it becomes easier to discern the potential for that sort of thing."
"Uhh..."
"But that's all conjecture, of course. There's no real way for me to know if I'm onto something if I don't investigate, right?" The detective let out a small chuckle, before turning around and waving.
"Until then, I'll wish you both the best. Farewell for now!"
And with that, he walked off with his good posture and pompous-ass attitude in tow. F*ck, the way he made his side of any conversation needlessly long and 'intellectual' really rubbed Scott the wrong way.
Speaking of...
"Is it just me, or is that piss Ryuji's taking going on way too long? What, did he get lost or something?"
Ren sighed. "Yeah, probably. We should probably go find him before anything happens..."
Notes:
Now I want pancakes too...
Sweets cravings aside, Akechi is such a fun character to write holy shit?? Even if I do have to go on Google tangents to figure out how to phrase stuff abt shit like the Socratic method... things like the debate with Ren in the studio audience makes it all worth it!
Also, while I still have a couple more chapters left until the Madarame arc is officially over, we've actually got a bit of setup for arc 3 rolling next week! Honestly you could consider this little bit the start of the next arc, overlapping a bit with the end of this one... but eh, that's a lot of detail to be fussing about lmao
Point is, see you next week! I'm looking forward to getting this next one up and running!
Chapter 40: The Only Way for the Student Council to Accurately Insult You is With a Camera!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
-EVENING-
"Dude, are you texting that detective kid already?"
Sojiro was already gone, and Leblanc had closed up for the night. Scott was unfortunately stuck with the one chore around the cafe that he (usually) couldn't f*ck up, cleaning. As Boss was starting to get more strict with him, Scott was stuck in the tiny kitchen on more and more nights, hovering over a sink full of dishes and soap suds. At least Ren and Morgana were at the counter keeping him company, otherwise we probably would have lost his marbles right then and there from boredom.
The tapping sounds coming from Ren's phone paused. "No, it's Mishima. He's ranting about the interview earlier, how wrong Akechi is, how the Phantom Thieves are heroes... Mishima stuff."
"Well, it's better than texting a cop all our sh*t... why'd you agree to hang out with him, anyways??"
"Oh, yeah." He smirked. "I had a thought while we were talking to him earlier. It's pretty clear to say he suspects us, right? So I figured he's doing this to try and get me to slip on something... but that also means he won't be expecting me to be trying to make him slip right back."
Scott paused mid-wipe to turn and look at Ren. "The f*ck does that mean?"
"He's working with the police, so he has access to information on their investigation. I'll have to play it smart, but I might get something out of him at one point that could save our asses. Plus, there's the possibility of planting false leads, but that's a much more risky play..."
A very meow-like chuckle came from Morgana's spot at the stool by Ren's. "That's our leader! I'm sure I don't need to tell you this, but you better not underestimate him, either. And that goes for both you guys, got it?"
"Yeah, yeah..." That earned an eye-roll from Scott.
"I mean, he's already got Scott pegged as weird! And he barely said anything to Akechi!!"
"...I don't think you need to be a detective to figure that out pretty quickly." Ren pointed out.
"I mean, I guess I'm not exactly normal, I'll give ya that..." Muttered Scott, going back to the plate he was working on.
"Whether he's trying to get anything on us or not, though... he's got a lot of influence. Remember how many people were cheering when he came on set?" The cat rested his chin on the counter. "It'd be really hard to actually do anything if we're being accosted for being villains at every corner..."
"I wouldn't worry about it." Scott shrugged, finally placing the final cleaned plate on the drying rack. "Look at Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, there was a wholeass scandal about an unused, unfinished sex scene in that game. Which, by the way, literally couldn't be seen without doing some hinky sh*t yourself. So again, totally pulled out of some high and mighty asses. Thing is, that meant there were way more people that heard about the game than there may have been otherwise! So in the end, the subject matter was the total opposite of a problem there, 'cause now Grand Theft Auto V is the second best-selling video game of all f*cking time. And that's a lot of f*cking time."
That whole explanation had to stew in Morgana's little kitty head for a second, but his ears quickly perked up. "Scott, I have no idea how you do it, but you just made an extremely good point with a video game as your main evidence."
Ren couldn't help but nod in agreement. "Yeah, that was impressive."
"Thanks! It's the only thing I'm good at!" He grinned back.
--6/11--
-LUNCHTIME-
"Come on!!!"
When Scott and Ren reached the usual vending machine area, Ryuji was already there cursing at a packet of chips that was stuck in the vending machine.
"The f*ck are you yelling at it for? It's not a Wii U gamepad, it doesn't have a microphone. Or a camera, or a TV remote, or an NFC reader."
"I don't need any of that crap! I just want the shit I already paid for-! Agh!!"
Yeah, that cry was thanks to the fact that Ryuji had just decided he needed to kick the vending machine on the word 'paid.' Looks like he did that way too hard, if the wincing and the sudden move to sitting down at one of the tables was any indication.
Ren apparently saw a bit more than a bad case of Doritos rage, however.
"You're still mad about the TV interview, aren't you?" He asked, tilting his head to the side a bit, before making the smooth switch to deadpan mode. "I doubt it's a good idea to take out your anger on a humble snack vendor..."
"Of COURSE I'm mad about the goddamn TV interview! That bastard Akechi puttin' the Phantom Thieves on blast when if his precious little 'justice system' actually fuckin' worked, we wouldn't be doin' this in the first place!!! I'd honestly like to see him try this shit for- GAH!!"
That time, Ryuji's cry of pain was brought about by Ann, who smacked the back of his head as she joined the rest of the group.
"You're being way too loud, Ryuji." She said with a sigh, before popping a Jagariko into her mouth from the pack she was holding.
Jesus, the guy looked almost offended by that remark. "Whaddaya mean, 'too loud??' Everyone's talkin' about it, it'd be even weirder if we were bein' all hush-hush in a corner!"
"Yeah, but you're the only one using the word 'us' to refer to them." Was what Ann replied with, but it was a bit muffled with that snack stick thingy still in her mouth. "It'd be so embarrassing if we all got caught now 'cause of your big fat mouth..."
Ryuji looked like he was about to respond, but then looked at Ann's snack. You'd think he hadn't noticed it existed that whole time... hell, maybe he didn't.
Anyways, he looked from that, to the chips stuck in the vending machine, and back to the pack Ann had. She was raising an eyebrow at him as she started to crunch on another.
"...Can I have one? Since mine got stuck n' all." Asked Ryuji. He was obviously trying to sound polite, but it was weird to hear from him. Like the speech equivalent of Boogie on PS2.
"Oh, that was the last one. Sorry!"
...You don't sound too bothered by that.
Yeah, Scott couldn't help but laugh a little at Ryuji's misfortune. Just a few seconds earlier, and he probably would have gotten at lea-
CLICK!
His thought process was interrupted by a flash in front of him and the sound of a camera shutter. Not a real one, but a digital sound recording of one. What, was the DSi photography club doing sh*t over lunch??
When the flash finally faded from his eyes, Scott saw that it wasn't a DSi that had just taken a photo of them, but a smartphone. Which was being held by Makoto Niijima.
Who the f*ck still uses flash and a sound effect?!
"My, you all seem to be having a lovely day. The two recent transfer students that got their information leaked by Kamoshida, and two of his more direct victims... I'm a bit jealous of the bond you four have with each other. I mean, that sort of thing doesn't happen out of thin air, does it...?"
"You're snoopin' on us again? We already told ya we didn't know anything when you cornered each of us alone, we aren't gonna magically divine shit for ya 'cause we're together."
Makoto feigned innocence. She was terrible at it. "You're jumping to the conclusion that I'm here to question you? But why would you do that if you truly had nothing to hide?"
Jesus Christ... Scott couldn't help but roll his eyes. "What, you don't know? It's because you keep tryin' to get us to say we know something we don't, every f*cking time you 'run into' us. Also, you literally just snapped our photo like we're a celebrity that just touched a doorknob."
"Yeah! You're clearly kissin' adult asses just so you get a letter of recommendation or somethin' when you got crazy high grades?? Freakin' overkill, dude!"
"...One, don't call me dude." Huffed Makoto. "Second, I'm not 'kissing any asses.' I'm merely investigating a matter that affects the safety of my peers. Do you really have a problem with that?"
Looks like that one hit a nerve. The student council president glared at Ryuji, like he'd just told her that Madden 08 isn't the best football game of all time.
Ann had been oddly quiet during all this... until now. "You knew about Kamoshida, right? Being that close to school staff, and all."
Her voice was calm... but incredibly stern. Stern enough to make Makoto flinch a little.
"No. I didn't. I honestly was under the impression that he was a good teacher, until..."
Makoto was keeping her gaze locked to the ground when she said that.
She looks... ashamed? What, for not noticing anything?
Looked like Ann wasn't done. "If you're really telling the truth, and you had absolutely no idea, then I'll rephrase my question. Would you have even done anything if you did?"
A small, choked sound was all Makoto could get out in response. She wanted to be able to tell her in confidence that she would have, but... she couldn't find that confidence. Then, she huffed. It wasn't clear if it was directed at Ann for asking something she couldn't easily respond to, or at herself for being this unsure.
"Yeah, that's what I thought." Ann stepped forward, making Makoto shrink back a little. "People like you only know how to take the teacher's side, no matter what's actually going on."
"...What about you?"
The student council president finally managed to tear her gaze away from the ground, and shot that intense stare at Ann.
"You were much closer to the student that attempted suicide than I was. There must have been ways to help her from that position, so... what did you do for that girl?"
It was Ann's turn to flinch. Jesus Christ, that was just uncalled for... Scott was seriously wondering if he should step in at this point.
"I... I couldn't do anything." She was clearly not a fan of remembering that fact, but pulled herself together quickly. "But I did try. And... that's still more than what you did. You didn't even try to remember Shiho's name, so don't LIE to me with that "supporting my peers" BULLSHIT!!"
...Seems Scott didn't need to worry about breaking up this heated argument, since that seemed to shock Makoto into silence. There was a tense moment where nobody dared to say anything or to even move, as all eyes were on Ann. She was clearly ready to keep fighting about this if she had to, based on the tears starting to well up in her eyes and her fists being balled at her sides. Fortunately for everyone involved, it seemed Makoto was standing down.
"...L-lunchtime will be ending soon, so... don't be late in getting back to class. I'll just... if you'll excuse me."
She turned around, and walked away without another word.
To tell the truth, Scott had never seen anyone look so defeated before. He wasn't exactly sympathetic after what she said to Ann about Shiho, but... the way that interaction ended just left a sour taste in his mouth.
Actually, whatever. I don't need to sympathize with someone who isn't real. Especially if she's the worst.
Well, that's what he was telling himself, but that feeling in Scott's gut was annoyingly sticking around regardless.
-AFTER SCHOOL-
Hoping that the spat earlier today would at least deter Makoto from snooping on them for the rest of the day, Scott and the other Phantom Thieves ended up riding back to Shibuya station together after classes ended. They were gonna split off from there and head home, until Ren noticed something.
"Is that Yusuke over there?"
Scott looked in the same direction Ren was, and sure enough, that beanpole of a guy was standing there with a suitcase at his side.
What's he got a whole-ass suitcase with him for? Didn't he end up moving to the school dorms?
"You're right, it is!" Said Ann. "You'd think that wouldn't happen in a city as big as this."
Ryuji was already walking over to the guy. "Well, what the hell are we standin' around here for? Let's go say hi!"
When Scott was close enough to Yusuke to see his expression clearly, he was looking down at his phone with a worried expression on his face. However, it wasn't long before he noticed the group approach.
"Oh, what a coincidence! I was just thinking about you all."
Ryuji beamed. "Right?? Plus, we probably don't have snooty Miss President snooping around today! How ya been, dude?"
"Ah. Yes." Yusuke winced at Ryuji's question. "I've... been."
Something tells me that doesn't mean he's been really f*ckin' swell.
"He asked how you've been, not if you've been." Scott said, crossing his arms. "C'mon, spill the beans, tell us what's up."
There was a brief moment of silence, but Yusuke eventually relented.
"I've moved out of the school dorms. When I arrived, I discovered that the place was quite dirty, and that the other residents could get quite noisy. It's not a place I can remain if I wish to continue creating art. Plus, an atmosphere like that hits... a little too close to an old home."
"But if you aren't gonna live there, where are you gonna live?"
"That's what I was just deliberating on. Takamaki-san- or erm, Ann, do you have an extra room or perhaps a couch I could sleep on?"
"Wh- still no?! My parents would freak!"
...It was pretty clear (well, maybe not to Yusuke) there were quite a few choice words Ann was thinking of, but that she chose to stick to just that reason. For now.
Speaking of Yusuke, he looked... way too genuinely surprised at the reaction he just got. "They would...? What if I used the entirety of my life savings on a thank-you gift? Would that make them reconsider?"
Everyone was pretty dumbfounded by that idea, even Ren was pulling out all the stops on his face muscles.
If any one sentence were to warrant a reaction like that from him... yeah, makes sense that that's the one that did it.
Ryuji was the first one to manage to pull himself together. "Whaddaya mean, your entire life savings?! Were you gonna buy a freakin' gold bar or somethin'???"
"No, I don't have nearly that much. I was thinking of something more along the lines of high-end Japanese sweets, but I would have to check multiple shops before I could find something suitable for a gift with the money I have..."
"Okay, I can't just hide in the bag and listen to this anymore." Morgana mewed, suddenly popping his head into view. "Where the hell are you gonna go if you're seriously that broke, Yusuke?!"
...Looks like he hadn't thought that far. He looked thoughtful for a second, opened his mouth, realized he didn't actually have anything to say, closed it, and settled with letting out a slightly defeated hum to serenade the pavement with.
"I've heard of starving artists, but this is ridiculous." Said Ren, as he was pinching the bridge of his nose. "As in, this is actually ridiculous. Yusuke, you're welcome to stay in the Leblanc attic until you find somewhere to go."
"Wh- how are you gonna convince Boss to let him stay??"
Scott shrugged. "Eh, we'll figure something out. He already lets us keep Morgana, so I don't think it'll be that hard."
The cat's ears went flat. "Please don't call it 'keeping' me."
That seemed to perk Ann right up after the whole life savings thing. "Oh yeah, you guys live in a cafe! Or was it a curry place...? Either way, what's it like over there?"
Ren smiled. "Why don't you guys come too? The place is actually just a minute's walk away from the Yongen-Jaya station."
"Ooh, hell yeah!!" Heh, looked like Ryuji was getting pretty hype about the idea too. "I don't think I've ever had coffee, but I bet it's damn good if so many places can pretty much sell just that."
"SHIT, THAT'S BITTER!!"
From behind the counter, Ren couldn't help but laugh a little. "Yeah, it's definitely an acquired taste."
Sojiro was actually pretty chill about the group coming over, especially since the place was pretty much deserted otherwise. Everyone got a round of coffee on the house, with the condition that Ren would help make it and Scott would clean the mugs after everyone else left.
"Acquired?!" Cried Ryuji. "How the hell do you acquire a taste for somethin' like this?!?!"
Ann shot him a look from the seat beside him. "Ryuji!! Don't insult Ren's coffee just because you aren't used to it!"
"Right, right, sorry... I'm sure I'll figure this shit out someday, and I'm not tryin' to diss it, it's just. Gonna be a mystery for a while, I guess..."
"Well, I can tell this coffee is lovely. It has this depth to its acidity, and it's been lovingly made with a careful hand. It almost seems wrong to accept this at no charge..."
Ren nodded, currently working on his own cup of coffee that he was making last. "Yeah, it really does need to be done carefully... that's why Scott isn't allowed to try."
"Hey, I can be careful with sh*t if I want to be!"
Even though Scott was being completely earnest, Ren just looked away from him while Sojiro suddenly took on a thousand-yard stare.
"...Scott, no offense, but please don't test that theory out. You've got your own skillset! After all, you've got the widest variety of, uh... talents in our friend group, you know?" Seemed like Ren had to change his phrasing mid-sentence when he remembered that Sojiro was totally oblivious to their exploits related to personas and crimes.
Yeah, it was pretty obvious to Scott that that was bullsh*t. He was literally sitting right next to the two people that had his exact skillset. "Do I?"
"'Course ya do! You're the video gamin' puzzle master, man! Plus, you can yak about shit way longer than even Yusuke can!"
Yusuke nodded. "Indeed. The passion overflowing from you as you talk is absolutely captivating. I've been wondering if I could translate it into a piece, but I've yet to truly attempt it."
"See?!"
...Okay, maybe Ryuji's got a point. Sh*t, what has this world come to...?
"Yeah, sure, whatever, I'm hot sh*t. Honestly, I should be getting a medal of honor for all the busywork Sojiro throws at me. I mean, last night I had to clean this big-ass pot that wasn't even dirty in the first place, just dusty!! Was way too heavy to be an ordinary pot, too..."
"Hey, I gotta make you earn your keep around here somehow. Besides, nobody wants to bust out the earthenware to make hotpot only to find out it's gonna come with the free ingredient of dust." Grumbled Sojiro.
"...The f*ck is hotpot?" Scott asked, which got him a set of shocked stares as his only response. "And the f*ck are you all looking at me like that for?!"
Even though it sounded like a pretty reasonable question to ask, Ryuji was giving him an especially shocked look worthy of being a reaction to Animal Crossing: Amiibo Festival existing.
"...Don't fuckin' tell me. You're being real with us right now?! Like, you haven't even heard of hotpot before?!?!"
Ann nodded. "I knew it wasn't common in America, but it never hit me just how rare it could be..."
After a punctuated sip of the coffee he'd finished making as they talked, Ren seemed to settle on an idea. "Okay, I think I know what Yusuke's welcome party's gonna be. What do you guys think about actually using that pot? Scott's gotta learn its ways, and it's a great thing to have together anyways."
Seemed like Sojiro was a little suspicious at the mention of a party, but relaxed when it became clear that it was just an immediate friend group thing.
"In that case, I'm pretty sure there's a campfire stove somewhere in the random junk stored up in the attic. You're welcome to it if you're careful around the fire, just don't get too rowdy up there. Still haven't seen the dinner curry rush, so I don't want any customers getting scared off, got it?"
Two pointed looks were shot out as he spoke. One was towards Ryuji when he said not to get too rowdy, and the other, much stronger one was directed at Scott when fire safety was mentioned.
"I'm never living that day down, am I...?"
"Nope, never." Ren had an unusually large smirk on his face. This was all in good fun, but Scott couldn't help but be a little irritated by it.
Of all the running gags to get stuck with, it had to be that one...
Notes:
Can you tell I had no other ideas for the chapter title lmao
Anyways, this is the penultimate chapter of the Madarame arc! Just as a heads-up, I'll be taking another 1-2 week break between arcs to get a good buffer going again. The 5 month Scott hiatus was hell for my motivation to work on this... @_@ But now that he's back, I'm finally back in the swing of writing on this massive project! I really want to keep these updates consistent, so a large buffer is pretty necessary for me to manage that, since real deadlines make me anxious as hell to work on stuff...
I'll see you all next week, and I hoped you enjoyed the chapter! I'm really proud of this one, as well as the one before it.
Chapter 41: I Should Get More Into Eating Food, I Heard People Love That Stuff
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Once everyone finished their coffee (or powered through it in Ryuji's case), they got the hotpot thing started. The pot was already clean and dust-free thanks to Scott's previous efforts, so while Ann and Ryuji went to the supermarket right there in Yongen-Jaya to get ingredients, Ren, Scott, and Yusuke all set up the campfire stove on a camp table laying around. With Morgana's keen eye, they didn't even need to spend much time looking for that stuff.
"So, nobody's explained what the f*ck hotpot is to me yet, and we're just waiting for the others now, so... anyone gonna fill me in?" Asked Scott.
"We probably won't need to. It's actually pretty intuitive, especially when you keep our last celebration party in mind." Ren said with a grin.
...What? That sh*t wasn't sounding intuitive at all. "You mean the buffet? What's that got to do with this?"
That kinda obnoxious grin only got wider. "Oh, you'll see."
-EVENING-
Okay, now Ren's comment about the buffet was starting to make sense. Once the ingredients team came back and everything was prepped, they pretty much just threw everything into the pot with some broth, put the lid on, and let it simmer for a while. When the lid finally came off, Scott was hit with an amazing smell that could only be described as pure comfort. The deep brown broth (probably soy sauce-based) with the beef, mushrooms, tofu, everything inside all came together to create one big vat of goodness. Honestly, Scott almost couldn't believe that it was the result of just throwing a ton of sh*t into a pot and waiting.
This has gotta be a cheat code to cooking, right?! Even I could cook this!
"Okay Scott, go nuts." Ren said, taking the seat directly across from him and grinning. Looked like he was getting a pretty big kick out of introducing Scott to this, hanging back from diving in with his own bowl-and-chopsticks setup to give him a chance to grab whatever he wanted first.
Everyone seemed to be getting a kick out of watching this, actually. The whole team was looking at him in anticipation, wondering what he'd try to pick up first. Well, Yusuke was side-eyeing the food as a low but impressively long grumble came from his stomach.
Jeez, I better start before he just f*ckin' dies of hunger...
After giving it some deliberation, Scott reached out with his pair of chopsticks and grabbed a slice of beef. He kept his own smaller bowl pretty close to the edge of the pot in case he dropped it (which he knew was very likely), but somehow managed to get it all the way to biting distance without that ever happening. And damn, it was some real gourmet sh*t.
He actually was so busy being in flavor heaven, he didn't even notice that the anticipation in the rest of the group had turned into shock. Well, not until Morgana piped up.
"Scott, did you just... use chopsticks successfully?!"
"Hm?" He asked through a mouthful of food. "Oh, I guesh sho."
Ryuji looked like he had just finished seeing himself on TV for being the last person to shop in a Toys R Us, and was yet to be hit with the news that it wasn't actually closing at all. "Do it again, man!!!" He grinned, before looking over at Yusuke as he moved his own chopsticks back and forth at breakneck speed. "Once Yusuke's done grabbin' shit, I mean. H-hey, leave some for the rest of us!" The scene was pretty funny to see... Scott hoped. He had no idea, because his glasses had just fogged up from the steam. Ann was snickering somewhere over to the side, so at least someone was getting to enjoy it...
As soon as he could get a semi-proper look through his glasses and attempt to grab a mushroom, he dropped it on its way back to his bowl.
Once the rhythm of everyone grabbing stuff from the pot a little bit at a time really got underway, the conversation around the table got more lively right along with it. It was seriously cool to watch.
"You know, I still don't know much about everyone else's backgrounds on this team. Now that you all know mine, wouldn't it be fair for me to be able to ask about all of yours?" Asked Yusuke.
Ryuji had to quickly swallow his beef before being able to reply. "Whaddaya mean? We told you all about the bullshit around Kamoshida, right?"
"Well, you did, but that's merely one aspect of what made you all the people you are today. You've all heard pretty much every detail of my life, on the other hand."
Despite the fact that Ren's glasses were fogged up, Scott was sure that the expression underneath would have been unreadable anyways. "I guess not. Well, there is one detail I hadn't really gone into yet... Ann, Ryuji, maybe you two should go first."
They both looked just as curious about what Ren was gonna say as Scott was, but decided to roll with going before him. Specifically, Ann volunteered to go before Ryuji.
"Well, there honestly isn't a lot to tell. I mean, I spent a lot of my life living in places other than Japan, for one thing. My parents are fashion designers and have to travel a ton for work, so I always was dragged along with them, you know? Yeah, lots of hopping around, though I actually did stay in Japan long enough in middle school to meet Ryuji! But..." Her face darkened. "It's especially in Japan where I have a hard time thanks to my looks. Popular girls are always jealous of me just for that, and everyone else just thinks I'm totally unapproachable. So... Shiho was my only friend for a long time, until I met all of you."
"Oh, yeah! It's weird, at first I thought you up n' totally changed in high school, but you really haven't changed a bit!" Ryuji pointed out. "Kinda sucks that we had to find that out 'cause of that bastard Kamoshida, though."
"I thought you were super different, too! Especially after what happened in first year... everyone said you totally snapped out of nowhere and started trying to beat up Kamoshida, but what really happened?"
Ryuji couldn't help but wince at the mention of that obviously embellished-to-hell-and-back story.
"Yeah, that's what went around... shit went down a little differently, though."
He sighed, and started to tell the real story.
"When all that went down, my mom was raisin' me on her own. Had been since I was pretty young, actually. My dad just sorta left us both to deal with shit ourselves, but she did everything she could for me either way. I was actually goin' for a track scholarship so I could try and help her out some back... but I guess I sorta screwed that one up, huh."
He paused to chuckle quietly. It was a really sad chuckle, too...
"So yeah, I ended up snappin' at Kamoshida when I was a first-year. I think I've said how he was taunting me for a while as part of the abuse he was puttin' the track team through, but when he started shit-talking my mom, that's when I finally fought back. When she got called in for that, a ton of teachers were givin' her hell about it... I'm never gonna forget the look she had on her face back then. And later, she apologized to me. Yeah, me! Just for bein' a single mom and all. Like she thought all my troublemakin' was me acting out about that or whatever! I tried to tell her I was tryin' to defend her, but all she wanted to do was drop the whole thing... I wish I coulda done that too, but ya can't really do that if the whole damn school won't quit blamin' you for it.."
There was a brief silence in the group. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, but it was still one that came from the fact that nobody knew what to say. After all, that was one hell of a story Ryuji just busted out.
Thank f*ck for Yusuke, because he spoke up before it could get uncomfortable.
"I see... you both have had pasts where you were labeled in a way that caused you pain. The thing that saddens me most is that it's this common, actually."
"Well, neither of us have anythin' on the bullshit Scott and Ren put up with. Sure, they aren't the talk of the town anymore, but there's still always somethin' or other going around about them..." Ryuji said, looking pretty sour about that fact.
While picking out a couple pieces of tofu and napa cabbage for herself, Ann chimed in as well. "Oh, right! Ren, didn't you want to say something earlier?"
Ren's expression was just as indecipherable as usual, but Scott could vaguely tell he wasn't thinking of any good memories. "...Yeah, I did. About the night Scott and I were arrested, actually."
What? That's coming up again?!
Sh*t, what was he gonna say if anyone asked him anything about that? Like, people always said he was there, but he literally wasn't!! He was already starting to clam up a little, actually...
"Don't worry, I can tell it. Just tune me out if you need to, alright?"
For once, Scott was grateful that he could apparently get read like a book around here. After a nervous but very relieved nod, Ren began to tell their tale.
"So, just to recap what I've said in the past for Yusuke's sake, we both got charged with assault when we both tried to intervene when..." He had to shut his eyes for a second, and take a deep breath. "When we both happened to notice this drunk guy harassing a woman in the street. Telling her there was no point in resisting, to get in the car, that she had to... well, the point is, we were both trying to stop some messed up stuff from happening. We hadn't even known each other before that, that was the first time I'd ever seen Scott in my life. Anyways, here we both were, both passing this awful display from different places, trying to figure out what to do. I was closer, so I ended up trying to get the guy's attention for long enough so that the woman could escape. Looked like Scott had been moving in to do something too, because when he tripped on his own feet as I got his attention from behind, he was there too. I think he was trying to get between the two of them. But he was just sorta... frozen in shock or something. Hah, I guess he was still like that the whole time court and probation junk was going on, up until the day we got to Tokyo. Before that, he just sorta felt... half-there. But, I'm getting off track."
Huh, so I just had some placeholder model of me filling in or something? That's actually kinda creepy...
"So once the drunk guy tripped, we were both sorta staring in shock as the guy got up and started screaming about suing us. The woman did try to stand up for us, but... he had something over her. Something about money...? It's hard to remember, between everything else that happened. When the cops showed up, I guess someone had called a noise complaint or something, he made her say that we had just randomly attacked him. And since the cops were apparently already friends with the man... that was that. We both got arrested, and the rest is history."
Another silence. This one was completely different from the one that came before it, though. Nobody knew what to say back there, but this time it was clear that everyone had things they wanted to tell them. They were just trying to compose it all into one complete statement, which was made significantly harder by every emotion everyone was probably feeling right now.
Unsurprisingly, Ryuji was the first one to get his simple response in order.
"God, this shit pisses me the hell off even more now..." He grumbled, tearing into another goddamn slice of beef that he could take out his anger on.
Yusuke was up next. "You both tried to defend this woman, and she ended up turning on you like that anyways... that is truly backwards."
"Well, it sounded like she was backed into a corner, too. The thing that sticks out to me is that the cops apparently already knew this guy and were willing to just listen to him and a woman that probably sounded super coerced..." While Ann was trying to sound sympathetic to the woman, it was clear that she hated the man that cornered her with a passion.
"You know..." Morgana mewed. "That sounds like someone that needs his heart changed. Did you get his name?"
Ren shook his head. "No, I didn't. He told the officers to leave his name out of any and all things that could be used to trace things back to him, and I don't really remember his face either. It was dark out, so that rules out figuring out who he is based on that... Scott, what about you? You remember anything?"
That caught Scott off guard. After internally scrambling a little, he managed to get out a "N-nope. Sure don't."
Thank f*ck Ren didn't press him on that... instead, he just nodded.
"Besides, it's not like changing his heart would overturn the charge. It's here to stay, no matter what we do. So... I say we make the most of the situation and try to show the world what real justice is. That goes for everyone, not just Scott and I."
Ryuji suddenly slammed his fist on the table, almost making it shake enough for some of the hotpot broth to spill out. "Yeah, we got the power to do somethin' about this fucked-up world, so let's go as far as we can!"
"And we may inspire a chain reaction of sorts when people see what's possible. Giving the ability to stand up for what's right to the general public... that's something this world seems to desperately need." Added Yusuke.
"Exactly! Not to mention giving people hope, when that's so hard to find these days." Ann beamed, apparently getting into it too.
Everyone's so determined... sorta hard to not get inspired by this, jeez.
"...Guess I'll keep helping out, too. I mean, I dunno what else I'd be doing." Said Scott, with a slight smile on his face.
And it's true, I really f*ckin' don't know what else I'd be doing.
Ren chuckled. "That's the spirit."
"...A team where everyone's been wronged by adults, huh...?"
In the seat at the corner of the table between Scott and Ren, Morgana was looking oddly glum compared to everyone else.
"The f*ck are you all sad for? Is it 'cause you guys didn't get any fish for the hotpot?"
The cat didn't look up at Scott to respond. "Well... just look at me. I don't have some tragic abuse-of-power related backstory, but literally everyone else here does. Just feels... weird. Like I don't really belong here."
Ren raised an eyebrow, but he didn't look like he hadn't at least guessed something like this was coming.
"Of course you belong here, Morgana. None of us would be here if it weren't for your help." He said.
"Exactly!" Added Ryuji. "Besides, tragic backstory or not, it's not like you're some joe schmoe, either. We're all misfits or outcasts or whatever, and I can't think of a single guy that fits into the average crowd less than you do!" That sounded like an insult without context, but it seemed to reassure Morgana a little.
"Well, you are helping me get my memories back... I bet they'll be just as screwed up as yours when we finally get to the depths of Mementos!"
Yusuke smiled. "Then, I'll wait for the moment we find out for sure with bated breath."
"Same here! And like, you say you feel like you don't belong, but I dunno... there's this feeling I always get around you guys, like we all just sorta... click together. Or like we've always been friends, in some weird way!" It was obvious that Ann was struggling to describe her feelings, but everyone understood anyways.
And I mean... you guys all were literally made to be a team. Aside from me, I guess... not that I can really say that.
"Yeah, I get what you mean." Ended up being what Scott settled on saying, as he reached over to grab something from the hotpot...
But all he got were the shallow remnants of the broth. Looked like the endless supply of food had finally ended... sh*t, now that he had a second to actually think about it, he was f*ckin' stuffed.
And f*ckin' sleepy, for that matter...
"Ah shit, when'd it get so damn late?!" Cried Ryuji.
Oh. Yeah, that explains it.
It was apparently almost time for the last trains back to where everyone else lived before everything was shut down for the night, aside from Ren and Scott since they were already where they lived. Same with Yusuke, as of tonight. Scott, for one, was wondering how long he'd be here...
If he was honest, three was already a crowd up here, which made four a big f*ckin' crowd.
Apparently, Ann had already asked Sojiro to let Yusuke crash in the attic while she and Ryuji had been prepping the ingredients. The Boss actually agreed, which seemed a little weird at first, but made more sense as Scott thought about it. He'd already allowed Morgana to stay with them, with the reasoning of it being something that isn't getting into more trouble, so now he was trying to encourage the two of them to have friends that could rely on them. Oh, and it probably helped that the guy that would be staying over didn't exactly come off as the troublesome type.
Point is, Yusuke was there on the futon that he was going to be sleeping on for the night. For right now, he was sitting up and looking at his phone. "You may want to check the group chat." He suddenly said to the others, smiling a little.
He tilted his head in confusion a bit first, but Ren picked up his phone from where he was helping Scott put all the bowls and stuff in piles he could easily carry downstairs. Whatever it was must have been pretty damn nice, since he had a small smile on his face as well when he saw it.
Alright, alright, Scott gave in to peer pressure and pulled out his phone to get a peek himself. And when he opened the Team F*cked chat...
Looked like Ann had taken a photo while they were eating, showing Scott and Ren mutually struggling to see through their fogged-up glasses while Yusuke and Ryuji both laughed at their misfortune. It was sorta weird, seeing himself in this group in third-person, for once.
And I mean... of course I don't really belong, but... I dunno, it's like I don't really stand out much here, either.
Well, none of us belonged in the first place, for one reason or another. In everyone's backstories, anyways.
I guess I just... don't belong a bit more than them.
Scott looked up at Morgana, who was trying to get a good look at Ren's phone from the surface of the table. He had to stick his neck in the air just to reach the screen before it was lowered for him.
Not like he's ever gonna know this, but... I guess I can sorta relate to the cat on this one, huh?
F*ck, it had been a long day by then. He was ready to hit the sack and put the second arc of Persona 5 behind him. Once the dishes were finally taken care of, Scott changed into pajamas and climbed up into his bunk bed.
Two down... however many palaces left to go.
After everyone said goodnight to each other, Ren clicked off the lights. With the relief of being one more chunk closer to getting the hell out of here, and his dinner weighing heavy on his stomach, Scott drifted off to sleep damn near immediately after that.
--6/12--
-DAYTIME-
The sounds of clinking silverware and casual conversation reached Scott's ears as he slowly blinked his eyes open. The morning sun shone in, and it was actually pretty hot... definitely hotter than he was used to back in the American Midwest. Yeah, he needed to get outta this warm bed and cool off.
"Oh, Scott! Good morning, I hope we didn't wake you." Yusuke said from his spot at the counter in the cafe part of Leblanc. He and Sojiro were apparently chatting it up down here, and Yusuke had brought his suitcase down with him for some reason. And what's more, the treasure from the museum was leaning up against it, still wrapped in the fine purple cloth that was covering the decoy back there.
Scott shrugged in response, yawning as he spoke. "Nah, you didn't. More than anything else, it's this damn heat..." He complained.
As he did, and sliding into the seat next to Yusuke's in the process, Sojiro raised an eyebrow.
"Really? I thought America was the one always having the high temperatures, shouldn't you be used to this sort of weather?"
Yeesh... Scott knew this was another country, but it seemed pretty obvious that the temperatures would be different across a country so large. Well, he was apparently gonna have to explain that himself.
"Well, yeah, if you're in Texas or something. That stuff only really applies to the Southern states, I'm from up North in Ohio." He shrugged. "If it makes it easier, I'm pretty much from Walmart-brand Canada."
"Kid, I wasn't born yesterday, there's no way in Hell that's a real state."
"...Huh? Of course it is! I mean, sometimes I have some doubts, but it's literally where I lived before I got put on probation here, I should know!!"
Ah sh*t, there go the fourth-wall redactions again... this time, he'd been trying to say 'before I got sucked in here,' but it looks like he was covered in terms of things that would start some really awkward conversations as well as direct references.
Maybe that's for the best...
Sojiro had to stare at Scott for a sec before brushing that off and continuing. "Yeah, well, I'm not falling for it. Who names a state 'Good Morning?'"
"I- wait, what??"
"What, you're surprised about me not falling for that? Sheesh... it's a good thing you're at least decent at doing the dishes around here, if you're lying about your home state who knows what else you're out there doing..."
The f*ck does he mean, lying about his home state?! Scott could barely believe what he was hearing! "But I didn't say I lived in a state named Good Morning, I said I lived in Ohio!"
For some goddamn reason, Sojiro was still rolling his eyes at him. "So it's 'good morning' without the U? Really?"
...Scott was shocked into silence. There was so much wrong with that sentence, he had no idea where to begin.
This whole time, Yusuke had been watching the squabble. Despite how Scott was apparently the only sane one involved, he started chuckling at them. "I think I see what the issue is here. Sakura-san, do you happen to have a ballpoint pen nearby?"
Sojiro looked confused, but handed one over from the shirt pocket that was covered up by his apron. "Go nuts."
After responding with a grateful nod, Yusuke slid over the pen and his napkin. "Write out the name of that state. In English, preferably."
Despite being just as confused as Sojiro was, Scott did what he was asked to do and slid the napkin back to Yusuke with the word 'OHIO' written out in all caps, and he held it up to show the Boss.
"Scott's telling the truth. I forget how I stumbled upon it, but I once found myself appreciating the asymmetrical composition of the United States. The Eastern states are fairly small, while Western ones are as large as entire countries. It's quite fascinating, actually. But yes, a state by the name of Ohio does indeed exist in the North." He explained.
"Well, I'll be damned..." Mumbled Sojiro.
That was... a very Yusuke way of saving his ass, but he was grateful nonetheless. Still, what the hell caused that confusion...?
Oh yeah, because 'good morning' in Japanese is Ohayou.
...Wait, how the hell did he know that?! He hadn't a second ago, but it just sorta clicked in his head suddenly. Sorta like when he'd read anything in Japanese... ah.
I'm getting translation notes beamed directly into my skull. Weird.
"But, now that that's been worked out, I should probably tell you this as well before I leave."
Huh, was Yusuke going somewhere? "Sure, what's up?" Scott asked.
"I've decided to live in the school dorms after all." The artist said. "Living conditions aside, I realized last night that I don't really know anything about the world or how to interact with others. It's easier around you all, but... I need to expand my repertoire. That, and I don't want to impose on Sakura-san here."
Yusuke looked nervous about going back, which Scott really understood if it reminded him of that grimy shack. At the same time, though... he looked optimistic. Like this was the first step forward in his life that wasn't being held back by his old teacher. Hell, it probably was exactly that.
"He says that he doesn't want to impose, but don't let him fool ya." Sojiro stated. "I've told him already that he's welcome to stay as long as he needs to, I'm not a total curmudgeon."
Yeah, Scott had to crack a smile at that. Even if he couldn't say the same about the whole 'free from old bullsh*t' thing... he couldn't help but feel really happy for Yusuke.
I mean... it would just be heartless if I didn't feel like that, right? NPC or not, it's clear this game's going for the emotional angle, so... I'm just doing what the devs intended the player to do.
"Good luck, man. And hey, I'd be happy to teach ya how people work! I've got a lot of experience of bein' a person under my belt, after all!" Was what Scott ended up saying to Yusuke, which Sojiro rolled his eyes at again for some reason.
"I dunno if he's the one you should be taking advice from, if I'm perfectly honest..." He said, giving Scott a pointed look.
"Hey!!"
Once Yusuke managed to calm himself down after another chuckle-fest, he stood up from his spot at the counter, leaving an empty plate and mug that Scott would no doubt have to clean later. But before that, Yusuke picked up the treasure and held it out to him.
"This is to compensate you all for your hospitality. I noticed you had a frame hook near the door with nothing hanging from it, so I'd say it's a perfect addition to the decor here."
Scott looked down at it. Even though he wasn't even being faced with the entire work at that moment, the gesture was making him freak out a little. "W-wait, what? Wouldn't you want that in your dorm or something?" He asked, trying to talk the guy down. It just... it felt like it was too much to take.
"What, you truly think that's the home it deserves?" Yusuke scoffed lightheartedly, though it was clearly an earnest statement. "No, it deserves far more than that. It may not be able to be widely known like this, but it'll be able to gain appreciation from the regulars here. More importantly, the two of you will be able to appreciate it every day, as well. And after everything you've both done to help me... I couldn't think of a better place for this piece to call its home."
That's some seriously high praise...
Alright, Scott sighed. He was giving in. "Okay, okay, we'll take care of it or whatever. But if you ever find somewhere more fitting for this thing, you better come running to get it back!"
"Of course, of course. Until that day comes, however, I'm more than happy for it to stay here."
"Hey, don't I get a say in how this place is gonna be decorated? Show it to me!"
His words could have been construed as a bit hostile out of context, but this was clearly some lighthearted sarcasm on Sojiro's part. So, Scott carefully took the painting by the frame and unwrapped the cloth around it.
And yeah, he was just as amazed by the piece as everyone else had been so far. Hell, his jaw damn near dropped when he saw the masterpiece that was just being handed over to the cafe.
"Damn." Sojiro finally managed to get out. "That's... damn."
Yusuke was f*cking delighted to see someone else appreciating the piece in its truest form. "I wholeheartedly agree, and that's exactly why I'm electing it to be entrusted into your care."
He then pulled up the handle on his suitcase. He had begun rolling it over to the door, but stopped and turned back to smile at them again before leaving. "I'll be leaving you two to hang that up, then. And Sakura-san, thank you again for your hospitality. It'd be a good idea for me to get settled back into the dorms sooner rather than later, so... I suppose I'll be taking my leave now."
"Come back anytime for a quality cup of coffee and a warm plate of curry." Sojiro said, before Yusuke nodded and pulled open the door.
The little shop bell jingled, and then the door was gently closed with a click, leaving Scott and Sojiro as the only ones left downstairs.
As the Boss got back to preparing the curry for the day's future customers, Scott looked down at the painting still in his hands.
Guess I better get this thing up, huh...?
By the time Ren was up, Scott was well into his breakfast curry. Impressive considering how much he struggled with chopsticks. As he finally came downstairs with bedhead that made his hair even messier than usual somehow, Scott looked over and waved.
"Mornin'! Oh uh, Yusuke headed back to the dorms already. You snooze, you lose, eh?" He said with a grin.
Ren blinked. "He did...? So he's gonna live there after all?"
"Sounds like it! Oh yeah..." Speaking with a tone that said 'don't freak about Yusuke leaving the actual treasure with us,' Scott pointed back at the Sayuri that was now hanging proudly next to the entrance to the cafe.
Exactly as expected, Ren's eyes widened when he saw it, but he easily kept his cool.
"...It looks nice there. I'll have to call him later and say thanks."
Sojiro suddenly appeared from the tiny kitchenette-corner-area-thingy with a steaming plate of curry for Ren. "Yeah, you better. He said it was 'compensation' for letting him sleep here, but it still feels like way too big a gift for something like that..." He said with a sigh, and set the plate down onto the counter next to Scott's with a bit of a clunk. "Anyway, here ya go."
"Thanks." Ren nodded and sat down, appreciating the real Sayuri from his seat.
Scott couldn't help but smile at him. "It's a nice-ass painting, right? Oh yeah, whaddya say we meet up at Shibuya Station later today? Y'know, with everyone else."
He was winking hard at Ren, who chuckled and rolled his eyes at him. "Yeah, sure. I'll let everyone know after we eat."
"Heh, what kinda shady stuff are you two planning over there...?"
That was Sojiro, who was raising an eyebrow at them in a lighthearted way. Obviously, he didn't actually suspect a thing.
Heh, if only he knew...
END OF ARC 2 - MADARAME
Notes:
I'm servin' up an extra long chapter this week to cap off the Madarame arc! (pun intended)
Anyways, I'll probably take another one or two week break from uploading before I start posting the start of the next arc, just to replenish my buffer like last time. I hit a bit of the slump during Scott's hiatus, and I'm starting to get back into the swing of things, but y'know. Still starting.
Thankfully once I start uploading again, we'll be pretty much immediately back in action thanks to the setup that bleeds into the end of this arc! so thats useful :)
Thank you again to every single one of you reading this fic, I know I sound like a broken record but I never expected this to do as well as it has. It's honestly mind-blowing, thinking about the fact that other people are just as brainrotted abt this AU as I am lmao!So yeah, see you all in a few weeks! Not 100% sure how many, but hopefully it won't be that long! :)
Chapter 42: Nah, I'm Not Tryin' to Blackmail You, I'm Just Makin' Eggs!
Notes:
TW - Very brief mentions of things that happened in the Kamoshida arc, specifically abuse, sexual harassment, and Shiho's suicide attempt.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/13--
-AFTERNOON-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ren] Nice job in Mementos yesterday, everyone.
[Ren] Yusuke, how are you holding up?
[Yusuke] In terms of Metaverse fatigue, not terribly. I think I may be becoming more acclimated to it.
[Ann] yeah, same thing happened to us! took a bit, but it's way easier than when I first started now.
[Ryuji] what about your stomach tho? Seriously, i kept thinkin scott was gonna have to pull over so you could barf...
[Yusuke] Yes, thankfully it's recovered... It took a long walk to get enough fresh air to quell the beast within, but I managed to.
[Ann] so glad you weren't with us on our first Mementos trip...
[Ryuji] yeah, with the shit he got us into and then right back out of, i cant tell if hes the best or worst driver on the planet
[Scott] That wouldnt have happened if that damn cat told me there was a time limit for these floors!!!
[Yusuke] What are you all talking about?
[Ann] there's this thing called the Reaper that starts chasing you if you spend too much time on one floor :(
[Ryuji] and scott had to do the tightest uturn ive ever freakin seen!!!
[Ryuji] seriously, my life flashed before my eyes back there...
[Ren] That hasn't happened since, but I can still feel that turn in my bones...
[Scott] Dont rub it in in front of the new guy, f*ck!!
[Yusuke] I may be slow for a moment, I think I need to just take some time to stare out the classroom window to calm my stomach down again...
[Ryuji] youre gettin freakin carsick in class?????
[Ann] ah!!! sorry, Yusuke! ;-;
[Yusuke] Don't worry about it. It'll help if I keep my mind off it, so... what do you all make of the Nav updating like that?
[Ryuji] oh right!! Didnt that happen right after kamoshida too?
[Ren] Yeah.
[Ren] Seems like we get to go deeper into Mementos with each heart we change...
[Ren] Not sure why.
[Ryuji] probably some sorta cognition bullshit, yeah?
[Ryuji] since thats how everything else in this gig works :P
[Ren] Probably...?
[Yusuke] Mementos is a collective unconscious, correct? I propose the theory that as the public is acknowledging us more and more, and therefore accepting our existence in their hearts, we're being granted access in just as much capacity as the public is granting us access in their everyday thoughts.
[Ryuji] sounds confusing enough for me to believe it!
[Ryuji] and besides, no matter what the reason is, we're gonna keep goin deeper!!! >:)
[Scott] Yeah the most we need to Really care about is keeping up with the expansions and doing sidequests
[Scott] I know morgana wants to get to the bottom or whatever but like. We dont Need to give a sh*t about whats down there until we Actually get to the depths yknow
[Scott] Well burn that bridge when we get to it! :)
[Ann] Scott, I don't think that's the saying...
[Ren] Maybe not, but he's still right. Even if Morgana's yowling at me as I type that.
[Ren] If we chip away at Mementos in chunks every time a new area is available, we'll be able to hit the depths as soon as we can possibly get to them.
[Scott] Yeah! And its good for grinding items and sh*t
[Ren] That too.
[Ryuji] wish it were easier findin a new target tho...
[Ryuji] like seriously, where the hell do we go from here????
[Ann] no luck for you either, huh...?
[Yusuke] I'll admit, I've been wondering the same thing...
[Scott] This is obviously just a roadblock
[Yusuke] I'm not sure I follow.
[Scott] We arent supposed to be going this fast when picking out a new target
[Scott] So we just gotta keep going until something ends up working out!
[Ren] You're... actually probably right, Scott.
[Ren] I was actually just about to point out that we shouldn't be rushing this.
[Ryuji] yeahhhh i knowwwwwww
[Ryuji] jfc though cant we at least get some kinda lead already
[Ryuji] phansite anons drop somethin useful already challenge i wanna stick it to that detective prick already >:/
[Ann] guess we should take our minds off that for now... but we should still all have our eyes peeled when we go out!
[Ren] Exactly, Ann.
[Ren] That said, it would be nice to have at least some sense of direction here...
[Ren] Let's meet up after school today and see what we can come up with.
--END LOG--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
The bell rang, interrupting Scott's focus on the group chat. Guess he was so absorbed in it, he didn't even realize class had already been about to get out.
Definitely not an unpleasant surprise, though...
He shoved his phone in his pocket and started getting his school sh*t together and back into his school bag. Apparently Ren had been much more on top of things, since he was somehow already standing next to his desk with his packed-up school bag over his shoulder.
"I swear, being ready way before I am is like some game to you..." Scott grumbled.
"Of course not, games are supposed to be challenging. C'mon, shouldn't you of all people know that already?"
...He's got me there.
Instead of trying to argue, Scott just finished his packing and stood up from his desk. "Alright, let's get outta here already." He said with a sigh.
"Hold it, you two."
Miss Kawakami was behind them, arms crossed.
Wait, what does she want? Is being slow a detentionable offense around here?! Is she finally tired of us texting in class?!?!
"I'm supposed to tell you that Niijima-san's looking for you. Something about putting in a formal lost item report...? I don't know, I'm paid to teach, not to be a student's personal messenger."
Oh. Well, that makes sense, I guess... wait, I don't remember losing anything?
Apparently Ren had, because he was the one to respond to the impromptu messenger. "Sure, We'll be right up. Thanks for letting us know."
"Really wish I didn't have to..." She grumbled.
And with that, Miss Kawakami turned around and walked off now that her duty had been fulfilled.
Scott blinked at the spot that she had been in just a second ago. "Well, that was weird... so, what'd you lose?"
There was an intense expression on Ren's face when he turned back to respond to him.
"I didn't lose anything. And yet, the student council president is up there waiting for us to show up."
Oh. Yeah, now Scott was starting to get what was going on. But why go through a teacher and come up with an alibi? That seemed like a little much, even for her.
"Do we just ditch on her?" He asked with a shrug.
Ren shook his head. "No. She'd just try to track us down even harder if we tried. Probably better to just get it over with..."
So this is scripted. Got it.
"You two are more punctual than I expected." Makoto Niijima observed once Ren had closed the door to the student council room behind him.
There weren't any other student council members there, other than her. Or anybody else, for that matter. Just the three of them... Scott had a really bad feeling about this.
"Well, I was curious about what you really wanted." Stated Ren. He had a calm expression, but he definitely wasn't psyched about this, either.
Makoto chuckled a bit.
"Take a seat, and I'll tell you."
So she isn't even being sneaky about it, now that we're in here...
The two of them didn't exactly have many other options. The both of them sat on one side of the table in the center of the small room, while the bag Morgana was in rested on the floor between their chairs.
"Thank you. I'll get right to it, then." The student council president said as she sat down.
While Scott couldn't be sure, there looked to be the tiniest hint of a smug smile on her face.
The f*ck is she up to? Awfully confident about it, whatever it is. Maybe it'll be something good...?
Once she had hesitated enough for them both to really stew on what she was doing, Makoto finally started her line of questioning.
"So. How'd you do it? Was it blackmail? Hypnosis, maybe?"
Wait, right out the gate?!
"Do what? I'm not sure what you're talking about." Stated Ren. Damn, he's a pretty good liar...
"Oh, I think you know. The sudden changes of heart in Kamoshida and Madarame. Or, just for clarity's sake..." Her smirk suddenly became way more obvious. "Your actions as the Phantom Thieves of Hearts."
Sh*t, I can't just sit and watch her figure us out!
"Come on, i-it's not like you have any actual proof for that!" Unfortunately, Scott was not as good a liar as Ren was.
Makoto feigned thoughtfulness. "I don't? Well, in that case..." She pulled out her phone. "You wouldn't mind if I showed this to the police, right?"
A few taps later, the sound of Ryuji's voice hit them. Specifically, a recording of it. That said, the real issue was in the conversation that was recorded.
"That bastard Akechi puttin' the Phantom Thieves on blast when if his precious little 'justice system' actually fuckin' worked, we wouldn't be doin' this in the first place!!! I'd honestly like to see him try this shit for- GAH!!"
As if that wasn't enough, Makoto then moved the slidey time thing forward a few seconds. This time, Ann's voice started playing.
"It'd be so embarrassing if we all got caught now 'cause of your big fat mouth..."
"Dammit, Ryuji!!" Morgana's muffled voice mewed from Ren's bag.
Just Ryuji?!
"The two of you are also in this recording, loud and clear. Of course, the proof's a little more hazy here, but I would think the fact that you aren't confused or objecting to those statements would at least be probable cause enough to warrant further investigation. Possibly even police surveillance."
"Crap, she's got us cornered... you two seriously can't afford police surveillance in your current situation!" Came Morgana's voice again, still from inside the bag.
Wait, is she seriously using that for leverage?! That's low as f*ck!
It was crystal clear that Makoto knew exactly what she was doing, as well as how well she was doing it. She leaned back in her chair, and eyed the two of them with that small smirk on her face.
"That said... I may not need to turn in this evidence. If I somehow stumbled upon proof that the Phantom Thieves were truly fighting for justice, then I don't think I could bring myself to land them in major trouble. But on the other hand, if you two really don't know anything, I guess there's nowhere I'll be able to look for that proof, is there...?"
Ren was hesitating, fidgeting in his seat. It was clear he was trying to work out what the hell Makoto's endgame was before saying anything else, but he wasn't having much success...
And then his phone rang and disrupted his line of thought anyways. Scott glanced over as he pulled it out of his pocket, and saw Ryuji's name and a skull emoji above a crop of the photo from the hot pot party as the caller ID.
He's about to blow this for us, isn't he.
She glanced between Ren's bag and his phone a couple times looking confused, but shook it off and gave him a nod. "Go ahead, answer it."
It only would have been more suspicious if he'd refused, so Ren nervously picked up the call.
"H-hey...?"
When Ryuji's voice came through the other end, Ren had to pull the phone away from his ear by a considerable amount. Christ, he was even louder than usual today...
"Hey, when ya showin' up? Can't exactly start a Phantom Thieves meeting without the leader there, man! You didn't change the spot or somethin', didja?"
Yep, he blew it for us.
Ren's eyes widened, and he quickly hung up the call. Across the table, Makoto let out an incredulous chuckle. Great, she definitely heard Ryuji yakking about this...
"A meeting, eh? That's perfect timing, actually... I was hoping to talk to you. All of you."
...They were out of options. After letting out a deep, long sigh, Ren pinched the bridge of his nose and admitted defeat.
"Fine. Just... tell us how to convince you to delete that when you do."
"Naturally. Shibuya Station walkway, correct?"
God, she's even got the hideout found out... that one's on us though, to be fair.
He wasn't happy about it, but Ren decided not to protest. "Yeah. I doubt the others will like this, though."
"Yeah!" Scott added. "In fact, they're probably gonna hate it!!"
"They don't need to like it. Just lead the way, and hopefully we both can put this behind us and each get on with our lives soon enough."
Ren seemed to agree with that sentiment, but one very important thing still needed to be pointed out.
"...I'm not responsible for anything Ryuji says to you, just so you know."
Everyone was already gathered at the walkway when Ren and Scott showed up with Makoto, but it was only Yusuke who noticed them at first.
"Ah, there you are! Is that a frie-"
He stopped that sentence dead in its tracks, seeming to read Scott's awkward and pretty miffed expression.
Great, apparently Yusuke can read the 'I would rather be playing Amiibo Festival than be here with this chick right now' in my face just as clearly as everyone else can...
Once the three of them had officially joined the others, he addressed Makoto with a cold glare.
"You must be this 'Miss President' the others have been dealing with."
Ryuji shot up from where he'd been sitting on the floor against the railing. "Wh- the hell is she doing here?!"
Of course, Makoto gave another one of her infuriating smirks. "I had them bring me here, so I could find out what you all thought about this. "
She whipped out her phone again, and hit play on that goddamn recording.
By the time she was done, everyone was either looking shocked, exasperated, or both. Finally, she put her phone back in her bag.
"So! To sum things up about your little friend group, There's Sakamoto-kun, Takamaki-san, Amamiya-san and Wozniak-kun with each of their own motives to take some sort of direct action against Kamoshida, as well as you. Kitagawa-kun, correct? You had both motive and means to change Madarame's heart, whatever the actual method may be." She sighed. "And yet, none of you thought it was a bad idea to meet up in broad daylight in the one place where you'd be most visible by the highest number of people at once in all of Japan?"
Scott shrugged. "I did, but I didn't think it would end up being this big a deal."
"Wh- how did you come to that conclusion?!"
"You get used to him." Said Ryuji, still staring Makoto down. "So, the principal told you to sniff us out, yeah? Where was that nose when Kamoshida was abusin' people left and right?!"
With that same glare she had used earlier, Ann stepped forward in Makoto's direction. It was actually close enough to make her step back a little. "And that's not even scratching the surface of the sexual harrassment Shujin turned a blind eye to. It got so bad that a student attempted suicide, and they still tried to sweep it under the rug with some assembly!"
Ann was getting pretty heated, but seemed to realize it and took a breath. Obviously, she wasn't exactly calm now, but still. It wasn't like Scott blamed her for that.
"Honestly, the way you're getting used like this... being the school's personal lap dog and everything? It seriously makes me feel sorry for you." Seemed like Ann was finally finished, and she stepped back and went back to leaning against the railing.
Those words clearly hit a nerve again, but the way Makoto looked away looked less like her shrinking back and more like she wasn't trying to even fight her on that.
"I know. That's why..." She took a breath. "I've decided to take some liberties with what I've been asked to do. Assuming you truly are the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, I have a target for you. If you do whatever it is you do to them, I'll erase this recording and tell the principal that there's no evidence to be found anywhere."
Ren raised an eyebrow. "And who is this mystery target, exactly?"
"So you aren't denying that you can do it."
Yeesh, this is getting repetitive... "Come on Makoto, just get to the point already." Scott said, rolling his eyes.
"That's Niijima-senpai to you. Even just calling me Niijima would suffice in your case, since I know English doesn't use honorifics the same way Japanese does." Damn, that really pissed her off... not for long, but that f*cking glare she shot him sure was something.
There was a tense moment of apprehension among everyone, until Morgana poked his head out of Ren's bag.
"So, she wants to make a deal instead of turning us in...? Maybe Miss President here has a good reason to, she doesn't seem like the kind of person to propose stuff like this willy-nilly."
"Dude, what the hell are you doing?! She's gonna see you!" Ryuji hissed, not realizing that he was only drawing more attention to Morgana.
Thoroughly confused, Makoto blinked and started looking around. "I'm gonna see who- oh."
"Dammit..."
"He isn't exactly an expert in stealth outside of the Metaverse." Scott said, shrugging again.
"The what...?" Looks like it was taking a second for Makoto's brain to catch up to her eyes. Once that second was over, however... "Your text tone isn't a cat meowing, is it."
"Nope." Stated Ren, completely unfazed. "Looks like the cat's out of the bag."
"I AM NOT A CAT!!!" Morgana yowled, right on cue. He was used to Scott and Ryuji calling him one, but Ren doing it seemed to strike a nerve.
Wait, what bag?! We weren't trying to pass him off as a phone in the first place!
Ann groaned. "Can we please stay focused here?! Boys, I swear..."
"Right, of course." Even though Ann pointed out boys, seemed like Makoto hadn't been immune to distraction, either. She cleared her throat, looking a little embarrassed that she let herself get so off track.
"Thing is, I'm not talking about it with you here. If you accept my offer, meet me on the roof after school tomorrow. Then we can talk."
Great, more waiting...
Based on that groan, it looked like Ryuji had the same opinion. "Just spit it out here, why you tryin' to waste our time like this?!"
"I'm not. As for why I don't want to discuss anything in detail here..." She raised an eyebrow. "What did I just tell you about your 'hideout' location?"
"Doesn't mean I gotta like not getting this over with."
"You're right, it doesn't. See, there's a major difference in being connected to a crime in a way that can only prove that you turned a blind eye, and to be considered an accomplice of yours when I could easily avoid it. I don't want the latter ruining my future."
Yusuke raised his hand. "What about me? How will I be able to know what you're discussing if I am not a Shujin student?"
"I don't know, try texting? A phone or video call would also work, I suppose, but I'm not your strategist. Figure it out yourselves."
"I'll livechat it for you, Yusuke." Said Ann, with a deep, exasperated sigh as she turned back to Makoto. "It's your meeting, so that wasn't an out of place question."
Their blackmailer huffed slightly. "Well, regardless of who should be doing what, meet me on the school roof tomorrow if you don't want me submitting this audio to the police. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have other responsibilities to attend to."
...And she was gone. Makoto seemed like she was in a hurry, possibly just to avoid getting stuck talking to them more.
That's fair.
"So... third-person rules from here on out?" Scott asked.
Getting the hint that the question was directed specifically at him, Ryuji avoided everyone's gaze.
"...Yeah. No more shoutin' about us bein' the Phantom Thieves."
Well... at least he didn't shout this time when he said that.
Notes:
And we're back!! I actually probably could have uploaded last week if I wasn't at Too Many Games 2022... but it is what it is, I guess!
I made Scott sign a copy of P5, he was very confused, it was awesome. :)But yeah, this arc should take slightly less time to get rolling than the Madarame arc did, so I'll see you next week for more antics!
Chapter 43: I'm Brand Loyal, I'm Devoted, so I Named My Nonexistent Pet 'Tums.'
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/14--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Yusuke] Has school ended for you all yet?
[Ren] Yeah.
[Ren] We're about to head up to the rooftop now, actually.
[Scott] Yeah, anns over here flexing her livechatting muscles
[Ann] supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
[Ryuji] aint that just a keysmash??
[Scott] No, but the sight of it is something quite atrocious!
[Yusuke] A flex indeed. Thank you for doing this for me, Ann.
[Ann] antidisestablishmentarianism
[Scott] I think shes just a Little preoccupied.
[Yusuke] Seems to be that way. Regardless, the gratitude was warranted. If Ann merely sees it, then it has done its job.
[Ryuji] i guess so!
[Ren] Good point.
[Ren] Before we head up, I'd like to mention the fact that Makoto most likely is making a deal with us for a reason. I think she might have a legitimate target for us.
[Scott] Or its some sidething thatll make us stumble on our big target like last time
[Scott] Honestly who the f*ck knows, thats why were meeting up!
[Ann] pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
[Ryuji] ann where the shit are you getting these longass words?????
[Ren] ...Looks like we're pretty much prepped.
--END LOG--
It was another dreary day. Seemed there were a lot of those lately, but at least it was just overcast right now instead of pouring rain. That meant their rooftop meeting with Makoto was still, well... on the rooftop.
Nice to get a break from all those walls finally...
When the door outside swung open and everyone stepped outside, Makoto was already there leaning on a spare desk.
"So, you did show up after all. I was a little worried you wouldn't."
In the corner of Scott's vision (at least, in the part that wasn't obscured by the blue border), Ryuji rolled his eyes with as much exaggeration as humanly possible. He couldn't exactly disagree with the guy.
"Eh, I didn't feel like getting arrested this week." Scott said with a shrug. "Next week? Who knows, I might come around to the idea."
"Whose heart do you want us to change?" Asked Ren. He was getting straight to the point, it seemed.
With a nod, Makoto stood back up from the spot she was leaning on. "Of course, I won't keep you all waiting any longer. I want you to change the heart of a mafia boss."
Ryuji's eyes went wide. "The MAFIA?!" He cried. "What the hell are you making us take care of that for?!"
...Makoto clearly wasn't a fan of Ryuji's disbelief, but she decided not to touch on it. "Of course, you'll need the information on the situation before you can do anything. That's true regardless of the method, or even the intentions."
"He's blunt, but he's also right. Why is this the person you want us to change so badly?" Asked Ren, who was somehow still entirely calm about all this.
"Because their group is targeting minors, and that includes the student body here at Shujin. They'll lure high-schoolers into their scam with the promise of an easy, well-paying job, and then create material to blackmail them with before they even have a chance of realizing what's really going on." She had to pause and take a breath. This must be stressing her out a ton, knowing the school she's supposed to represent is under threat... "Not only that, but they'll threaten friends and loved ones in order to squeeze even more out of these teens. It's absolutely despicable, so if you truly are heroes of justice, you should be up to the challenge."
"Well, that's not an unworthy cause... so she really did have a legitimate reason to make a deal with us."
That was Morgana's voice, coming from where he was poking his head out of Ren's bag again. Seemed like there wasn't much point in hiding him after yesterday.
Ren nodded to the cat. "Looks like it. Do you have the name of the one behind this?"
"No, I don't. No one does, in fact. Not even the police, thanks to the threats forcing the victims not to testify. All I know is that they operate out of Shibuya."
Ann looked up from where she was keeping Yusuke updated over text, looking shocked. "And you're expecting us to track this guy down just based on that?!"
"Yes, if you're as committed to justice as you claim to be. After all, shouldn't you be going through hell and back to punish evil? Or are you just letting this slide?"
Ryuji crossed his arms. "Nah, you're just dumping a problem that literally no one else can figure out on a bunch of teenagers. I doubt these guys are gonna just let it be, but c'mon, it's a crime boss!"
"Perhaps, but you've done the impossible before. I'm giving you two weeks, if nothing's changed by then, I'll turn this audio file in to the authorities."
After hitting them with all of that, Makoto began to head to the door back into the school. But before she left, she paused and said one more thing.
"Good luck. I really do want to see this done, for the sake of my fellow students."
Dammit, she's good...
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Yusuke] I see. Thank you for the swift and concise updates, Ann.
[Ann] whew... no prob!!!
[Scott] Ann, you play any platformers? I feel like you'd f*cking demolish them all with reaction times like that
[Ryuji] ohhhhh, is that how she was typin so fast?? shes got training???
[Ann] oh, I guess so! not super often tho...
[Ann] I think the last one I beat was called... I Wanna Be the Guy?
[Ann] it was free, so I checked it out! :)
[Scott] Thats gotta be what you guys call the legendary starfy here in japan, right? right??????
[Ryuji] lmao definitely not
[Scott] Jesus christ...
[Scott] Ann i think that makes you more gamer than me
[Scott] Hold on i gotta go stare at the mirror and wonder where it all went wrong
[Ann] huh? why???
[Ryuji] i mean that solves the mystery of the superhuman texting...
[Ren] We're getting off track, guys.
[Ryuji] shit sorry!!
[Yusuke] Hm... the mafia... that's a fairly significant target, correct?
[Ann] yeah, it is! and she gave us two weeks and like zero info!!! >:(
[Yusuke] That's not exactly what I meant. What I mean is, isn't this the perfect kind of target if we want the world to acknowledge us?
[Scott] Yeah seems like a pretty good rise of ante to me!
[Ren] I think you two are onto something, but...
[Ann] that won't mean anything if we all get arrested first!
[Ren] Yep, that's exactly what I was thinking.
[Scott] Its some high risk high reward type sh*t
[Ryuji] true...
[Ryuji] alright, then lets tackle it like any other mission!
[Ryuji] ill start diggin thru social media to see if i can find any students being fishy recently
[Yusuke] If anything comes up at Kosei, I will let you all know immediately.
[Ren] Thanks, you two.
[Scott] Lemme guess, more school interrogation once you guys get a name?
[Ren] Probably.
[Scott] Then I'll lend a hand as the one other guy that can act And have tact!
[Ryuji] bruh
[Ann] hey!! >:(
[Ren] You pleaded the Third Amendment of the United States to Makoto not that long ago.
[Ann] wait, the third? that doesn't sound right....
[Ren] That's because it isn't.
[Scott] First the curry incident and now this... seriously, is no moment sacred to you??
[Ren] You expect me to not share something that funny?
[Ren] Besides, you started it with Ann and Ryuji.
[Ryuji] lmaooo scott you dont even have tact
[Ren] Before he starts retorting... let's agree to go and do our individual research on this subject.
[Ren] Scott, Morgana, and I will swipe Sojiro's leftover newspaper from this morning, see if anything in the news could be a clue...
[Scott] Fine... but only because i dont wanna get made fun of again :(
--END LOG--
--6/15-DAYS UNTIL REPORTED TO POLICE:13--
-MORNING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] okay i think i got somethin!!!
[Ryuji] so theres this guy iida in you guys class
[Ryuji] like class 2d. Not whatever class yusukes in lol
[Ann] oh, Iida-kun? what about him
[Ryuji] hes totally involved, no doubt!!
[Ryuji] apparently hes been spendin money left and right lately bc of some "great part time job" he got
[Ryuji] so like... exactly what were lookin for!
[Scott] Yeah, no way thats Not who we need to talk to.
[Ren] Good work, Ryuji.
[Ryuji] heheh thanks man!! :)
[Yusuke] I recall Ann relaying that those involved have been threatened into not speaking to anyone about the matter.
[Yusuke] How are you all going to convince him to testify?
[Scott] Im sure well figure Something out!!
[Ann] I could take a shot at asking? I don't think he'd be as nervous around a girl :)
[Ren] ...I dunno if that's a good idea.
[Scott] Well its not like ryuji can do it!
[Ryuji] neither can either of you?? You're both the freaky criminal kids or whatever!!
[Yusuke] I'd offer my assistance if I could...
[Ren] And nobody can understand Morgana... yeah, that just leaves Ann.
[Ann] thanks for the vote of confidence, everyone... =-=
[Scott] Hey, you still have a not abysmal shot at figuring something out right?
[Scott] That should be good enough for us
[Ann] I hope you're right, Scott...
[Ren] Then we start after school.
[Ren] Ann, you'll be the one to approach Iida-kun, like we've already gone over.
[Ren] Scott and I can swoop in and start the questioning once he cracks.
[Ren] Ryuji, if you could stick around just in case we need backup for some reason or another...
[Ryuji] im on it!!!
[Yusuke] I'll do a little more research on the topic. If you are able to get any details at all, I'm sure it will greatly help my search as well.
[Ren] Don't worry, we'll keep you posted.
[Scott] Man, this is really starting to feel like an organized team...
[Ryuji] took ya that long to figure it out??
--END LOG--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
The school day was finally over. Now that all that boring sh*t was out of the way, it was time for some questioning!
Ann stood up from the desk in front of them, nodded at Ren and at Scott, then strolled on over to Iida's desk nearby where he was still getting his stuff together.
"Heyyy, Iida! So... you've got, like, a crazy good part-time job, right? What's your secret?"
Jesus Christ.
"H-huh?" Iida stammered, blindsided by the question and trying to not fail at answering that question in a normal-sounding way. "What are you talking about? I don't have a secret!"
He's just as bad?!
"Whaaat?? But I reeeally need the money!"
"Go to literally anywhere that's hiring, then? I-I'm pretty sure Shibuya Station has a spot where places list open positions, you won't have any trouble getting hired!"
...That was such a defensive response, and it was somehow fishier than the goddamn fish market Morgana wouldn't stop begging to go to. Despite that, it somehow was tripping up Ann hard.
"W-well, I guess that's true, but... tell me anyways?" She paused, apparently taking a second to realize that that response wasn't going to do jack sh*t. "Because... my cat's dying! He got run over, and now he's really sick! C'mon, I need money fast, or I can't pay the vet bills!"
"...Your cat got sick from being hit by a car?"
"Yeah! You have no idea where those tires have been, right?? And now if I don't figure something out, I'll lose my precious childhood pet-"
Ann suddenly stopped. It was one of those brief, but incredibly tense moments, as she realized she didn't even pick out a name for her fictional cat. With the way her eyes were darting around, it was fair to assume that whatever name came to mind first was gonna be what she'd go for.
"I'll lose my precious cat Tums!"
Nice save!
For some reason, Ren winced from his desk next to Scott's.
"...Tums?" Iida asked.
It wasn't like Ann could change her mind now, so she just went with it. "Yeah, Tums!"
There was a pause.
"How old were you when you named your cat Tums?"
"...Really young."
Another pause.
"So can you tell me what that job is so my cutie pie Tums won't die and leave me super depressed?"
...Ann was asking that with a smile on her face.
I can't watch this... Jesus, is this what the other guys felt like at the trial?!
Finally having had enough, Scott stood up and walked over to the two of them as Ren watched curiously.
"C'mon, I'm sure he'll be alright! I don't have anything I can tell you, I'm sure you can find something-" Iida stopped, finally noticing Scott was there now too. "W-Wozniak-kun?"
Right, yeah, freaky criminal transfer... alright, I'll just need to offset that!
"Iida, my guy! Can't you just tell my good friend Ann what your work situation is so she can help her cat? I mean, wouldn't you hate it if your cat got a tire-borne illness? Hell, you'd hate it if you got a tire-borne illness, right?"
While he was trying to sound as cordial as possible, Scott was just coming off like he was making a back-handed threat. The criminal record didn't help, but Jesus Christ... there was practically a silent 'capiche' said in a New York accent at the end of that sentence.
Of course, Scott was completely oblivious to this. Either way, Iida's face paled. "M-me?!" He stammered, looking around at the other lingering students, who were starting to stare. That part in particular seemed to freak Iida out a lot.
After letting out an exasperated noise, Iida finally gave in. "Fine, fine... but not here, alright?!" He hissed, lowering his voice a lot. "If I'm talking, it's gonna be somewhere quiet. So... meet me at the door out to the rooftop."
Scott grinned. "It's a deal!"
The school may have still been pretty busy below them, but from the small landing Ren and Scott were on with Iida, it was mostly just a distant ambient buzz.
"What the hell is your deal, man?! Everyone was staring, and that weird grin you were givin' me..." Iida shuddered when he remembered it, while Scott just tilted his head a bit in confusion.
What? I know I've got a stupid grin, but weird...?
Thankfully, Ren was the one to respond to that. "Don't worry about Scott, just tell us about that job."
Iida hesitated, but relented. "Look, I shouldn't even be saying this much, but you don't want that job. trust me."
"Yeah, we know it's bullsh*t, why else would we be looking into it?" Asked Scott.
"To get... hired...?"
"Scott, focus." Ren reminded him, before turning back to Iida. "We don't want to get hired. Believe it or not, the two of us actually want to help you. Thing is, we can't help anyone if we don't know what's going on."
"Is that why the girl was so hell-bent on figuring it out? Man, thank God there isn't a real cat named Tums out there..."
Huh?? Why would that be weird?!
For reasons that still eluded Scott, Ren nodded in agreement to that statement. "Just start from the beginning, and tell us what you know. What you're doing for the mafia, how you're being threatened... any little thing helps. We won't tell a soul we heard anything from anyone, either."
That finally seemed to calm Iida down a bit. "Well, if you already know all of that, there's not much point trying to hide it..." He took a deep breath, and began to explain.
"My friend Nishiyama and I were hanging out on Central Street in Shibuya a while ago. All of a sudden, there's this guy that's approaching us, and he's talking about some really good part-time job that's easy, pays well, everything. Well, Nishiyama was suspicious of it, and headed home... but I was stupid and said I was interested. I got handed an envelope, and I was supposed to just drop it off at a specific coin locker somewhere else. And well, I did! I had no idea what was in there, I didn't ask, but now I know it's nothing good..."
An envelope that you get paid just to carry somewhere else...? Wait, is this...
"Let me guess, drug smuggling?" Ren asked, apparently having the exact same thought as Scott.
With a deep sigh, Iida nodded. "Yeah, that's exactly it. And when I deposited my first paycheck, they started telling me that if I didn't pay them off with most of the check, they'd tell the cops. They even had photos of me at the coin locker, man! What else was I supposed to do?! And of course, my dumbass kept coming back 'cause my cut still wasn't too bad, but then they started raising the price for 'their silence,' a-and now I don't get any cut. I have to pay them to keep quiet now, even after I give the checks back, just 'cause the demand's gone up..."
Scott looked down. "Yeah, sorta a rock and a hard place, huh..."
Using kids as drug mules and then blackmailing 'em to get the paychecks back, huh...? That's seriously f*cked up!
That train of thought was broken by Ren asking another question. "So, this happened in Central Street?"
"Yeah, in the middle of the day! I dunno how they aren't getting caught, doing everything in broad daylight like that..."
"Do you know the name of the person running this operation?"
That's the million-dollar question, isn't it... or like, the hundred million-yen question.
Iida shook his head. "I don't, I don't even know the name of the guy that lured me into this mess in the first place. I have no idea what you two are gonna try and do if you find it, but... I'm sorry I don't know more."
"Don't worry about it." Said Ren, stoic as always despite the topic of conversation...
"If I'm not worrying about that, then I guess I won't be worrying about the idea of you both winding up dead in some ditch somewhere."
"That's incredibly f*ckin' harsh, but fair!" Without seeing the irony, Scott responded to that statement with a big toothy grin.
Iida winced again, though Scott was still clueless as to why. "L-look, that's everything I know, so... can I go? Please?"
The kid looked pretty damn scared, even though he knew their intentions. Must be some seriously hardcore threats if he's still that nervous.
...Or we don't look like competent mafia-busters. It's pretty fifty-fifty.
They may not know the name of the guy, but they did have a good place to start looking for it. More likely than not, they'll probably get it in the next couple days.
Seemed like Ren had the same idea, since he nodded at Iida's request to get the f*ck out of dodge. The kid nervously went back down the stairs, leaving the two of them to update the others.
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ren] Hey, we got what Iida knows.
[Ren] No name, but it's progress.
[Ryuji] hell yeah!!!
[Ann] thanks for backing me up back there, Scott! :)
[Scott] No problem, i always gotta help out someone who's brand loyal!
[Ryuji] what the hell was your act...??
[Yusuke] I believe we should let Ren deliver his update first.
[Ren] Shouldn't take long.
[Ren] Unfortunately, we didn't get much...
[Scott] Other than everything these guys are doing to their victims, yeah not much
[Ren] What I mean is that we're not much closer to figuring out who we'll actually be changing the heart of.
[Scott] Oh. Yeah theres that
[Ren] So, this mysterious part-time job being mentioned?
[Ren] Turns out it's drug smuggling.
[Ryuji] wait for real?? Drugs?????
[Ren] Yep, drugs.
[Ann] why hire hs students for that?? o_o
[Yusuke] If I may hazard a guess, I'd say... it's due to the fact that adolescents are easier to manipulate.
[Scott] Thats definitely it. Seriously, thats the second guy in a row makin kids do their own jobs for em...
[Yusuke] Indeed. It's absolutely wretched.
[Ren] Other than that, it's pretty much everything Miss President told us.
[Ren] Well, that, and the fact that the threats and blackmail are to get the paychecks back.
[Ryuji] the fuck????
[Ryuji] thats just a bigass cherry on top of this whole bullshit sundae!!!
[Ann] but we still have no idea how to find them...
[Ren] Not really... but I did narrow down their active times to when it's daylight.
[Ren] Maybe they work at night too, but maybe they're going for the walkway hideout approach?
[Yusuke] Hiding in plain sight, you mean? Yes, that would be a way to throw authorities off their trail.
[Scott] Yeah, and who's gonna accuse a f*cking teenager of drug smuggling? Makes it Way harder to figure out whos who in all this
[Ren] That's probably why they do it like this.
[Ren] That said, the sun's starting to set...
[Ryuji] shit, how long have we been sticking around here??
[Ann] whoa, I totally lost track of time too!
[Ren] Let's pick this back up again tomorrow and start searching around Central Street.
[Ren] That's where Iida was approached, but since they seem to work in daylight, we probably won't get anything if we try now.
[Ann] good point...
[Ryuji] man that sucks... and weve got that tightass deadline breathing down our necks too!!
[Scott] I dunno about down our necks...
[Scott] Right now, were probably... ehh... calf deep in the deadline?
[Ren] It won't take long to catch up, though...
[Ren] Maybe we'll get lucky tomorrow and finally get that name?
[Scott] Nah, not after a jinx like that
[Ann] I really hope we aren't gonna prove superstition real tomorrow...
[Ryuji] nah, "maybe well get lucky" is like maximum jinx. were fucked yall
[Ren] Shit, sorry...
--END LOG--
Notes:
Im a little late updating today, sorry! I just had top surgery this mornng lmao so. Was loopy af for a hot second there
No detailed commentary this week bc of that, I just didnt't wanna deprive ya of white guy escapades! See ya all next week!!
Chapter 44: I Bought Donkey Kong Jr. Math, How Do We Know That? (They're Gonna Break my Legs!)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/16-DAYS UNTIL REPORTED TO POLICE:12--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
It was another dreary-ass day, overcast yet again. Though, at least it wasn't pouring right when they needed to investigate the motherf*cking mafia. If there's one thing that could deter these teenagers from seeking out a mob boss, it's rain.
They were all just outside the station, as Ren addressed the whole group. "Okay, let's figure out a game plan here. How about splitting up so we can cover more ground?"
"The horror movie strategy, where we'll all get picked off one by one?" Scott asked, raising an eyebrow. "I like it!"
"What can I say? I took your advice on not applying horror movie logic to real life to heart."
Sh*t, I totally forgot I said that!
"Well, Ren and I will be hitting Central Street!" The Morgana (whatever the hell he was, but probably a cat) was suddenly out of the bag and perching his front paws on Ren's shoulder now that they weren't on the train without a pet fare.
"It probably wouldn't be wise for them to try and target a large friend group all at once, so that's another benefit of fanning out." He added with a self-satisfied nod.
Guess he's right... still, it's the f*cking mafia we're talking about here, right?!
"In that case, I'll stick around here and stake out the station!" Ryuji was volunteering that with a huge grin on his face. Sh*t, is he forgetting how easily bored he gets...?
Ann was the next to call dibs on a place. "I'll take the underground walkway, then! Lots of potential meeting spots down there, right?"
The last one to pick a spot (other than Scott) was Yusuke. "I suppose I'll take the underground mall. After all, I won't get distracted while shopping if I have no money to spend."
Now that everyone else had gone, it was officially Scott's turn. Man, the way everyone's staring at him, waiting for an answer... kinda sucked.
"Then... I'll hit the arcade and listen out for shady sh*t. Home field advantage, I can pick out something fishy in an instant when it comes to this stuff! Especially if there's any actual fishy names, but I don't think that's gonna come up."
To his surprise, nobody accused him of just picking the spot to slack off at. Which he wasn't really planning on doing, how could you ask that?!
...The thought did cross his mind, but f*ck it. If these not-real people are gonna believe in him, he can't exactly back out now.
Anyways, since their formation had been settled upon, Ren gave the whole group one big, confident nod. "Alright, let's do it."
One drawback in his plan, as Scott discovered, was that arcades are loud. Made it really hard to snoop around and actually get in earshot of things, plus his Shujin uniform made it pretty immediately obvious that he wasn't a harmless tourist or something, so that advantage was shot, too...
Turned out acting like he was waiting for someone else was pretty effective, though. If anyone started glancing over at him, he could just look at his phone with an irritated expression, and he'd be left alone.
Didn't mean he was getting much, though. Everyone else was updating the group chat, so at least he wasn't totally in the dark. Still, the rest of the Crew wasn't finding anything, either. A few leads, yeah, maybe the fact that the mob grunts like to talk in code, but nothing was panning out yet.
It's weird, we should be making some kinda progress by now...
Man, this is why I hate RPGs.
"Hey, dude, look alive! There's a couple foxes in the trap over there, see?"
Huh? That didn't sound like any gamer slang Scott knew of, and Scott knew a lot of gamer slang. He glanced back down at his phone, this time actually checking the message logs. Yeah, that definitely sounded like something that could be code!
Foxes in the trap... that's pretty obvious, something like good-looking targets. Hopefully the rest of their codes are just as sh*tty...
"Alright, it's my turn to give the spiel, right? But, uh... you think we're gonna get anywhere with 'em? One looks like a total goody two-shoes, and I can't even get a read on the other guy..."
"C'mon, worst-case scenario is they say no! There's tons of kids in this town, we aren't gonna suddenly hit a shortage."
"Yeah, true... alright, I'll just get out there and lay the bait!"
Lay the bait's gotta mean the sales pitch they give... hold on, a goody two-shoes and an enigma?!
That sounded way too conveniently like Makoto and Ren to ignore. I mean, the whole idea here was to make one of the mob guys slip up, but there's no telling what could happen if Miss President's there! Scott waited until the guy left before making any moves, and he made sure to stick in the Central Street crowd enough to make sure the second guy didn't notice someone going straight for the alley he was targeting. It caused a bit of a delay in getting there, but Scott managed.
"Hah, 'suspicious materials?' You aspirin' to be a comedian, girl?"
That was the first thing Scott heard when he finally got to start eavesdropping at the end of the alley. Sure enough, there were Ren and Makoto, as well as the sketchy guy that had just left the arcade.
"I can take your avoidance as confirmation that these are, indeed, suspicious materials we'd be delivering?"
That was Makoto's voice, but what the hell is she doing?! That was way too direct!
"...What?"
And verbose, apparently...
Much to every Phantom Thief's dismay, she just chuckled and kept pressing. Seriously, the others were probably feeling an inexplicable sense of dread wherever the f*ck they were, it was that bad. "What I mean is, you won't admit that you're asking us to break the law, while also being unable to lie about that fact."
"You callin' me a liar? The hell's your deal, kid?!"
Sh*t, this was going south fast... the gangster stepped forward towards Makoto, who just kept staring him down like a dumbass.
"I'm not saying you're a liar. Let me cut to the chase here, I want to see your boss. Take me to him."
Watching this is giving my eyes a free demo of hell...
The gangster took another step forward, and Makoto finally realized that it was a threat.
"Nobody who's actually worth their shit would dare ask to meet the boss, they stay the hell out of his way. So who the fuck do you think you are, askin' all these questions and makin' all these demands?"
"I-I'm... well, I'm..."
There goes her infinite confidence... Scott was starting to worry that he was actually about to witness a fight breaking out, so f*ck it. Might as well attempt to scare him off.
"Hey, f*ckhead! Back off before I show you the wrath of a guy that beat up a rectangle once!"
The shady guy turned around, and saw... a scrawny white guy at the end of an alley. It wasn't like he had a lot of meat on his bones either, but he still looked completely and utterly underwhelmed.
"What, you gonna baby-slap me to death? Get lost, this ain't about you."
While this gangster was facing Scott, Ren took the opportunity to get up right behind him. He had been so quiet this whole time, the guy probably forgot he was there in the first place.
"He said, back off."
Yeah, that finally freaked him out a little. Regardless of how scrawny either of them were, two on one wasn't a great set of odds to have. Possibly three on one actually, if Makoto decided she wanted in.
She probably wouldn't. I mean, she doesn't exactly look like the punch-happy type to me...
"Alright, alright! I wasn't being serious anyways, you think I'd let a buncha kids rile me up?! Whatever, I'm outta here."
With that, Mr. Sleaze turned tail and got the hell out of there, just like he promised.
Makoto breathed a sigh of relief, before spontaneously turning into the second coming of Captain Obvious.
"I think he was one of the members of the mafia around here. Still, with how proficiently he dodged all of my questions and traps, it's impossible to be sure..."
...Is it? Really??
It was pretty much guaranteed that Scott would offend Makoto somehow if he spoke up, either intentionally or unintentionally. So thankfully, Ren spoke up first.
"More likely than not, since I've been trying to lure one onto my tail all afternoon."
"Wait, was that part of your plan? I saw you walk into an alley, and thought it would have been easy for you to be ambushed there, so..."
Ah, now she gets it. Better late than never, I guess...?
Scott had joined up with the other two in that narrow space, which was somehow even more gloomy than it already was out here. To be fair, the awkward realizations that were starting to set in really didn't help. Anyways, point is that he was now close enough to hear what Makoto was muttering under her breath.
"If only I had gotten a little closer while you discussed your plans, maybe I could have known that in advance..."
Hold on, did that mean she's... no, no way she's still doing that now that she knows about the whole secret identity thing. Still...
"Have you been following us? Again??" Scott had to ask.
Apparently, she had forgotten that people can hear words, based on the way she jumped. "H-huh? Well... yes? Actually, no!!" She paused. "...Maybe?"
"Yeah, she's been following us..." He grumbled aloud, since he wasn't actually opposed to Makoto knowing Scott guessed that.
Ren raised an eyebrow. "Do you not trust us to get this done?"
It was hard to tell if she did or not. Makoto did flinch at the question, like it had totally blindsided her, but she hesitated to answer. Was she even sure of the answer herself...?
"O-of course I do!" There's no way in hell she was actually sure of that. "Why don't I just... leave and let you get back to your investigation?"
Even though she obviously wanted to get the f*ck out of that situation as soon as humanly possible, Makoto did stop and turn around to face them one more time before she really left.
"Thank you both. For... you know, stepping in before that man tried anything."
That wouldn't have been an issue in the first place if she had stayed in her lane, but they both still accepted her thanks.
"Don't sweat it." Scott said with a shrug. "Seriously, don't. It's getting way too hot to waste that sh*t on this."
Looked like Ren agreed. "The Phantom Thieves don't turn our backs on those in need of help. It's kind of our whole deal, actually." He added with a nod.
While Makoto still didn't waste any time getting the f*ck out of dodge, there was an unmistakable small smile on her face as she did.
-EVENING-
Unfortunately, all of that had taken long enough for the sun to start setting. There wasn't much point in continuing when they knew they wouldn't be getting anyone else to approach them, so everyone begrudgingly headed home. Hell, they hadn't even discussed what they'd discovered yet, since there was no telling the limits of Makoto's willingness to stalk the group. Because of all that, the status updates were gonna be a group chat thing.
As they walked back in, things were really winding down at Leblanc. It was almost closing time, so there wasn't actually anyone around other than Sojiro.
"Oh yeah, I got a call from the Shujin student council today." He said casually.
Wait, what?! Did Makoto rat us out to Sojiro? Is she getting us in trouble for being slow?!
Scott's head whirled while Boss had paused his statement at the worst possible f*cking moment possible, but...
"She wanted to talk to you about a lost item report, or something like that."
Oh thank Christ.
"Did she leave a number or something?" Ren asked, having been apparently completely unfazed by that pause earlier.
"No, I gave her yours. If you get a random number calling you-"
And then Ren's phone started ringing in his pocket. He pulled it out, and sure enough, there wasn't any caller ID. No doubt the devil they were speaking of.
For some reason, Sojiro nodded at Ren with a sly smile. "Go on. Wouldn't wanna keep a girl waiting, would you?"
So yeah, that phone was answered.
"...Hello?" Asked Ren.
Meanwhile, Sojiro was turning his back, trying to make it clear that he wasn't listening in. He's a child laborer with a heart of gold!
"Ah, hello! I-it's Niijima... as in Makoto Niijima. Sorry for digging up your number like this, but... I wanted to thank you and Wozniak-kun again. As well as, uh... as well as apologize for disrupting your process."
Damn, she did all this instead of just waiting until school tomorrow? That's some next-level commitment. Or maybe some next-level anxiety.
"Oh. Well, like I said before, it's no problem. It's probably a good idea to have a way to contact you during all of this, anyways."
By 'all of this,' he obviously meant her blackmailing. Still, it wouldn't be a great idea to risk Sojiro overhearing 'yeah we're the Phantom Thieves' despite trying to tune their conversation out. Or that they were getting blackmailed. Either of those hypothetical situations would suck some pretty hard ass.
"I know, you already said it's no problem, but I hadn't apologized for the disruption yet. So... might as well reiterate the other part while I'm at it."
"...Alright, fair enough. Apology accepted."
"And no mention of forgiveness, huh? Honestly, that's completely fair. I'll try to make it up to you, I promise."
"Please don't."
"I'm sure I can find something I can do, though! Just... give me a little time!"
"There's no talking her out of that one, is there..." Scott grumbled.
"Probably not..." Ren mumbled back.
"Huh? Sorry, did you say something?"
"Nope. Anything else you wanted to tell me?"
"There wasn't, but thanks for still listening to me after... all of that."
"I don't exactly have much of a choice, do I?"
"...No, I guess not. Sorry."
"Whatever, just... I'll keep you posted on our progress."
"I'll look forward to it, then. Until then, I'll let you return to your business. Goodbye."
The call ended damn near immediately after she said that. Makoto probably wanted out of that awkward-ass call as soon as possible, and for once it seemed like everyone was on the same page. That even included Morgana, whose head had popped out of Ren's bag by now.
"Huh, she put a lot of work into that simple apology. Maybe her talk about really wanting to protect the students of Shujin isn't just talk?" He mewed.
F*ck if Scott knew, and f*ck if Scott cared, so he just shrugged. "I mean, good to know there's one person in that building with both authority and actual decency..."
"Saying she has decency is pretty generous..." Ren mumbled back as he headed towards the stairs to the attic.
Now that they were leaving the cafe area and Sojiro's old guy earshot, Scott could finally say what everybody was thinking. "Well, I guess she's a blackmailer with a heart of gold!"
"That's... a surprisingly not terrible way of putting it." Replied Morgana.
That's a third one for the collection of criminals with hearts of gold!
...Well, Steel Wool never actually had a heart of gold, but it inflates the statistic if I count him.
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ren] We finally made it back to Leblanc.
[Scott] Yep! And ren got a call from miss president for like half of a good reason lmao
[Ryuji] for real?? whatd she say?
[Ren] She was apologizing for interrupting the process earlier.
[Ann] couldn't that have waited until school tomorrow? or maybe there's some holiday I forgot about...
[Ren] I don't think there is, no.
[Scott] Thats what im sayin!
[Yusuke] She dug up your contact information just to achieve that? That's a little worrying, considering there may be much more serious circumstances we'll find ourselves in in the near future...
[Ryuji] thats creepy as hell...
[Ren] I think she genuinely did mean well, but you're still right.
[Ren] Let's see, where can we discuss our plan moving forward in privacy...?
[Scott] Uhh.......... indoors? Maybe?
[Ryuji] cool the sarcasm jets man
[Scott] Huh? I'm not being sarcastic
[Ryuji] ...oh.
[Ren] I mean... he isn't exactly wrong.
[Ann] oh, that reminds me! I know of this one karaoke place that's got a crazy good happy hour pretty much right after school!
[Scott] Oh sh*t, are we gonna go over our plans in musical number format??
[Ann] lol nah, it's not like they force you to actually put on any songs
[Ann] we'll just get a soundproofed room to ourselves for a bit!
[Scott] Aw...
[Ryuji] whaddaya mean, aw????
[Ren] That sounds like a good place to meet.
[Yusuke] Indeed, it will be impossible to be followed inside under those circumstances.
[Ann] okay, it's decided!
[Ann] I can show you guys where it is after school tomorrow :)
[Ryuji] thanks ann!
[Scott] Yeah, who knows how lost wed get if we tried to find it ourselves...
[Scott] Well, i know id get Very lost. But idk about the rest of you
[Ren] Let's each recap what happened today once we're there, maybe we can piece something together that we wouldn't otherwise.
[Ryuji] i just hope we end up having something by the time were done swappin stories...
--END LOG--
Notes:
Again, no deep commentary this week other than the fact that I'm still recovering from top surgery (but it's surprisingly easy!) and that I'm proud of this chapter. Lots of Woz-esque humor, which I was struggling a bit with in the mid-late Madarame arc...
Anyways!! I'll see you all next week, and hopefully I'll have more to say by then!
Chapter 45: WHO THE F*CK IS THIS GUY?!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/17-DAYS UNTIL REPORTED TO POLICE: 11--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
The fact that dedicated karaoke places weren't too common in the United States made the experience of coming to one in Japan all the more unfamiliar to Scott. Even though they weren't actually doing the karaoke part, every step of the process was totally blindsiding him.
Getting their own room to (not) sing in, finding out drink orders were a thing here, the music selecting thing that looked a bit like a Wii U gamepad... well, that was a little familiar, at least.
Wasn't there something like this for the Wii U in Europe and Japan? It'd be a huge missed opportunity if that isn't a thing already...
Anyways, their actual meeting venue was a moodily-lit room with a long, kinda curved sofa on one end and a karaoke setup on the other. The gamepad wirelessly hooked up to a dedicated karaoke machine which not-so-wirelessly hooked into a TV, as well as a nice-looking sound system to make the experience even more of a f*ckin' banger.
They may not have been singing anything themselves (and sadly not getting to use the gamepad because of that), but they could hear the occupants of the next room over singing their asses off.
"They sure are enjoying themselves in there, huh...?" Ann pointed out, in the same way you awkwardly react to a bad gift to try and salvage the giver's feelings.
Not like their neighbors could actually know what they were saying, nor did they know the group existed in here most likely, so Scott was more than not afraid to say what everyone was thinking.
"They sound like sh*t."
Ryuji had already been fidgeting in his seat, but he had finally reached the limit of his patience. Honestly, Scott was amazed he made it this far without interrupting the rest of the group or blurting something out about the Phantom Thieves out in the open.
"Let 'em suck, we got business to get down to already!! I've been waiting all goddamn day for this, you know!!"
"Yeah, I'm surprised I'm agreeing with Ryuji on this, but we've only got this room for so long. We should really start this meeting!" Morgana added, looking a little grumpy. Probably didn't help that he didn't get to order a soda like everyone else did.
With a nod and a slight hum, Ren leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, in a way that screamed 'I am now down to business.'
"Yeah, let's get started. Ryuji, what'd you find?"
Every single one of them had found jack sh*t.
Every. Single. One.
Jack sh*t.
Where the f*ck are we supposed to go from here?!
Yusuke furrowed his brow, and was probably thinking the same thing. "I knew from the beginning that the idea of swapping stories to discover hidden connections was a bit of a reach, but I still find myself disappointed with the results..."
Yep, definitely thinking the same thing.
"And we had to subject our ears to the guys next door the whole f*ckin' time, too..." Scott grumbled, resting his chin on his hand and pouting a bit. As if perfectly timed for comedy, an incredibly off-key high note came from the next room. Several of them winced, despite the cushioning the wall provided for the noise.
Not even soundproofing can save us from this tragic fate...
Anyways, not knowing their path forward seemed to be a pretty common sentiment all around. That was pretty obviously the case with Ryuji, who let out an exasperated groan and leaned back in his spot. "I mean, if we asked Miss President, maybe we could get her to switch to a target we can actually track down, and not get arrested...? But I don't wanna just walk away from this one now that we know these kids are gettin' money stolen from 'em, either..."
"Without a name, there really isn't anything we can do, is there...?" Morgana mewed. "Location and distortion can be guessed, but it's not like that in this case."
They really were in a pickle this time, huh... "I wish I could still contact Leaky Steve, that guy always knew insider sh*t like this. Well, he was more about video game stuff than we was mob boss info. And his leaks weren't actually true half the time. You could tell what was what if you looked hard enough, but Leaky Steve would pass on damn near anything!"
Ren's eyebrows flew up. "Wait, that's it!"
"I hate to break this to you man, but all calling that guy's number would probably do is leave some random Ohioan really confused, plus you'd end up with a phone bill that's ass-expensive." After all, it was totally up in the air as to whether this guy even existed in this game's world or not. Actually, when Scott thought about it, it was way more likely that he didn't.
"I figured, but that's not who I'm thinking of." As Ren kept explaining what the actual f*ck he was going on about, he started digging through his bag. "I'm glad I kept slacking on cleaning this thing... you guys remember the time we got approached by a journalist while we were investigating Madarame?"
Yusuke tilted his head to the side a bit. "I don't believe I was here for this. Would you mind explaining?"
"When we were investigating Madarame, and this was before you came around and decided to join us, there was a journalist that approached us right after you kicked us out for the first time." The hand rusting around in Ren's bag briefly paused, as he seemed to realize something. "Looking back, she was probably staking the place out or something..." He shrugged, and the search resumed. "Anyways, she was on Madarame's case at the same time we were, and even was already thinking his pupils were being abused. Maybe she's on this case too, given how dramatic a story like that would be... oh, found it!"
The business card she had handed them back then was presented with a flourish, and Ren smirked.
"We may not be out of options just yet, to put things simply."
Ann leaned forward to get a better look at the card. "Ichiko Ohya of the Maiasa Newspaper... isn't Maiasa a pretty big deal?"
"Yes, that's certainly a major publication. She must be quite impressive to have earned a job there..." Added Yusuke.
Meanwhile, Ryuji was getting impatient again. As per usual. "Well, what're you waitin' for?! Call her already!!"
"There's only an email address on this card." Ren pointed out, though his phone was in his hand anyways. "I'm already writing out an email to send to her, though."
Morgana let out a pleased trill. "It's far from guaranteed, but this looks promising! Let's just hope she doesn't take too long to respond, considering our deadline..."
"I'm mentioning the deadline in the email, so hopefully that means we'll hear back from her before then."
"HELL yeah, let's show that money grubbin' asshole what's what!" Cheered Ryuji. He was pumping a fist into the air as he accidentally bumped his knee into the table, making their still-unfinished sodas teeter a little too close to full-on topple for comfort.
"Ryuji, you're going to make our drinks go to waste!!!" Yusuke cried, grabbing onto his cola and trying (read: failing) to chug the rest of it before anything else could harm it.
While she wasn't exactly concerned about her cola now that everyone's glasses had settled back down, Ann shot Ryuji a warning look regardless.
"You're gonna blow our cover again if you keep being that loud, you know."
"Shit, my bad." He did make an effort to settle down, but this is Ryuji we're talking about here. Of course it didn't stick. "Still though, ain't this awesome?! We can still take this guy down, and this means we'll keep our asses from getting arrested!"
"I said it isn't guaranteed, remember?" Morgana grumbled.
A target like this just vanishing into thin air, after all that leadup? No way, that'd be a major annoyance for players. "Nah, my money's on her coming through on this."
"See?! Scott's got my back, and he's great at the random crazy predictions that somehow turn out true!" Ryuji was gesturing over at him with some real impressive enthusiasm.
Ren pondered all of that for a moment.
"...How much money are we talking about here?"
Huh, Scott wasn't expecting that question. "I dunno, five bone- er, 500 yen?"
"Alright then, I'll be holding you to that."
"Wait, what?!"
--6/18-DAYS UNTIL REPORTED TO POLICE:10--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] yo any response from the reporting lady yet??
[Ann] I'm 99% sure the term is "reporter" lol
[Ryuji] who gives a shit??? im just itchin to see if she has anything for us!!
[Yusuke] Indeed, technique means nothing if the meaning of a piece isn't properly conveyed.
[Ryuji] yeah that!!
[Ryuji] whatever that means lmao im too excited to decipher art stuff rn
[Ren] Nothing yet.
[Ren] But it's still far too early to call it quits, let's be patient.
[Ryuji] you know i suck at that... ;-;
[Ren] We don't have much of a choice, unfortunately.
[Ryuji] i mean im still gonna try to
[Ryuji] im just sayin dont be mad at me if i fail miserably!
[Ren] Don't worry, I know any amount of patience will be impressive for you to pull off.
[Ryuji] exactly!! you get it renren :)
[Yusuke] This is completely unrelated, but Scott's being unusually quiet. Or rather, as quiet as one can be in a text-based method of communication.
[Ryuji] oh damn youre right?? what, is the world ending or smth?
[Ann] not last I checked, no!
[Ren] He's checking in with Dr. Maruki.
[Ren] Since we have time to kill until Ohya hopefully responds, I'm guessing he wanted to fit that in first.
[Yusuke] Dr. Maruki?
[Ann] Shujin got in a therapist after the Kamoshida stuff!
[Yusuke] Ah, I see.
[Ryuji] i just go for the snacks tbh
[Yusuke] ...Do you think he accepts walk-ins from students that aren't from Shujin?
[Ann] you sure do love snacks, huh...
[Ren] I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I took extras to share with you.
[Yusuke] Ren, you are an angel in the disguise of a force of darkness, and I am eternally grateful to you.
[Ryuji] dude calm down its just a bag of fuckin cheetos
[Yusuke] ...Apologies.
--END LOG--
"Oh, Wozniak-senpai!"
A familiar, peppy voice called out to Scott as he approached Maruki's office, breaking him out of his random train of thought.
"Hey, Kazoomie. Wait, am I getting your name right...?"
She chuckled a bit. "That's not quite right, but you're really close! My name's actually Kasumi." Looked like she wasn't offended, so that's good.
"Ah, I must have mixed you up with the working title of Banjo-Kazooie Nuts and Bolts... \" He would have been kinda guilty about forgetting a gaming fact like that, but to be fair, it was Banjo-Kazooie Nuts and Bolts. Though, he was still feeling a bit guilty about mixing up someone's name like that. "...Sorry."
Kasumi's smile was brighter than the goddamn sun, somehow. "Really, don't worry about it! You're still a fairly new student in an entirely new country, anyone would forget a name or two between all of that."
Holy sh*t, she's so nice?!
"Oh right, I still need to thank you properly for saving me at the cleanup earlier!" She stepped back, and used the extra room to bow. Now, Scott obviously couldn't say for sure, but he was pretty certain that it was deeper than was really necessary. "So... thank you. and I'm sorry it took me this long to say that!"
Jesus, Scott wasn't anywhere even close to used to this much politeness. He wasn't sure what the f*ck he was supposed to say back, but he had to say something... "Uh. No problem? And honestly, I've been too busy to notice the time gap. So you shouldn't worry about that, either!"
Finally, Kasumi straightened herself back up. Good, Scott was starting to wonder if there was a chess board on the ground that she was trying to look at Wii Chess-style...
"I mean it, though! You didn't need to stop and help me, of course I need to thank you within a reasonable time."
Why does she sound so legit concerned about this...?
"...Look, since I just called you Kazoomie instead of Kasumi, why don't we just call it even? It's not like I really care about a non-gaming delay anyways, so."
While it looked like she still wanted to protest, she let the formalities go and smiled again. "Alright, then it's a deal. Now, I'm assuming you're off to see Dr. Maruki?"
"Huh?! Wait, how'd you know??"
For some reason, the girl looked a little concerned about the way he said that. "Wozniak-senpai, we're standing right outside of his office."
Scott looked over into the window of the nearest door, and found himself looking into the nurse's office that Maruki had set himself up in.
"Oh. So we are."
Kasumi giggled a little. "You're a natural-born comedian, senpai! I shouldn't get in the way of your visit, though... plus, if I stand around too long, I'll be late for gymnastics practice!" She was apparently reminded about that fact as she said it, because she pulled out her phone to check the time. Based on the way her eyes widened when she eventually got the thing to wake up after a few tries of pressing the home button, she was already cutting it pretty close. She started power-walking through the hallway, then suddenly stopped, and turned back to Scott.
"Let's spend some time together when I have an opening in my schedule, okay? Amamiya-senpai's told me a lot about you, and I'll admit it's gotten me curious!"
Curious? The f*ck did Ren say about me??
Whatever, he couldn't ask someone for clarification if they were already scooting the hell out of there, which Kasumi was. That meant that that would have to wait, unfortunately. Ah well, he's still got a therapy session to get to. Not that it was scheduled or anything, but for some strange reason, Scott was looking forward to it.
So yeah, Scott opened the sliding door and was greeted by Dr. Maruki. He looked up from the clipboard he held in one hand, as well as from the snack bar in the other. He hit him with that glowing smile as soon as he saw who was walking in, and put his clipboard to the side. Not the snack bar though, that'd just be lunacy.
"Scott, you came back! I was worried our previous session would be our only session, hah..."
Wait, really? "You... wanted me to come and talk about trauma or something?"
Dr. Maruki blinked. "What? No, of course not. There's no need to feel pressured to talk about things that feel like they're too hard to discuss with me, or even about anything that you just don't want to talk about. After all, forcing someone to reopen a scar in their heart will most likely just make things worse, or even just leave a new scar in its place."
"You mean in the metaphorical sense? Because I'm pretty sure you'd just die if that were literal... but I dunno, I never took anatomy, I'm not the guy to talk to for doctor stuff."
"I do mean in the metaphorical sense, yes. The literal sense is miles away from my area of expertise, so I'll admit that I'm actually not sure of the specifics there, either!" After seeming to realize he was getting sidetracked, the doctor motioned to the seats near him. "But you don't have to stand and talk, regardless of what you'd like to discuss. Go on, take a seat!"
"Right, yeah..."
Scott couldn't exactly lie down on these chairs the same way he did back in Ohio, but he was leaning the hell back while still sitting up. It just felt... natural, doing it like that.
"So!" Dr. Maruki quickly finished his snack bar to make room in his hand for the pen he had ready near his clipboard. "How have you been since we last spoke? Still making the most of your time in Tokyo, I hope?"
Huh. He had to think about that one for a second. "Eh... you could say that? I'm sorta getting used to the whole city life thing by now, but at the same time... I think that's just making me miss home even more."
"Ah, yes... would it be accurate to say that it reminds you of the fact that you have a very different place to go back to?"
Damn, this guy's good... he got all of that just from me admitting one thing?
"...Yeah, I think you're right. Sh*t, I'm not even sure if I knew that's what was going on until now!"
"That's just the nature of wounds to one's heart, I suppose. You can't see them like a cut or a bruise, so their specific origins can be difficult to tell, even to the one experiencing that pain."
Scott raised an eyebrow. "You sure you're not a poet or something? 'Cause I think you may have taken a wrong turn in the job interview place."
That got a chuckle out of Dr. Maruki. "Sorry, I get a bit caught up in my musings from time to time. After all, metaphorical wounds of the heart are the main subject of my research, so there's quite a bit of overlap between it and my post here at Shujin, since adolescence is a very difficult thing to experience for essentially everyone on this planet."
Literally not an adolescent, but alright, I guess...
"You do research when you're also a therapist here? Doesn't doing this just get in the way of all of that, or something?"
"Well, the snacks don't pay for themselves!" Dr. Maruki chuckled a bit at his own joke. "Besides, I was already a therapist before coming here, so all that changed was location."
The therapist began to stare wistfully into space. "That, and I wouldn't give up the opportunity to offer help to someone that needs it for anything. Even in an ideal world where I wasn't struggling to get my larger projects funded, I would still find a job like this far more rewarding, you know?"
Man, he's really passionate about his job, huh... maybe Jerry's a therapist despite being unlicensed for the same reason? That, or he's just crazier than I already knew. I was paying him with Sonic coupons, after all...
Jerry... f*ck, I miss that guy...
"Scott, are you alright?"
Dr. Maruki's voice snapped Scott out of his distracted train of thought. Guess they both got derailed from topics a lot, since this conversation had been one big multi-track drift from one topic to another. It was almost wrapping back around and becoming coherent again!
Anyways... guess Scott had to explain himself now, huh.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He sighed. "Just... thinking about my therapist back home, I guess."
"Ah, yes. Dr. Attricks, correct?"
Scott nodded. "That's the guy. Heh, wonder if he's trying to figure out where the f*ck I went..."
While he was trying not to think about it, since all it would accomplish is making him even more homesick, Scott couldn't deny the fact that his friends were probably worried about him (or at least, that's what Scott hoped, since that's what he'd expect a friend group to do). After all, he had just up and vanished one day completely out of the blue!
Understandably, nobody here knew about that, so Dr. Maruki cocked his head a bit in confusion.
"What, is he not aware of your situation?" He asked.
"Nope. I mean, it was all really sudden, so. Didn't exactly have much of a chance to tell anyone."
And that's the niceass way of putting it!
"Alright, I see..." The doctor nodded, and took some notes. "You could try contacting him, right? The internet is an extremely powerful tool!"
"Can't."
There was no point in beating around the bush here. Hell, Scott had no idea if Jerry even existed in this universe, let alone if he had the same contact information.
Also, he only ever called his office, never got an email address from him or anything.
If I tried that number, I'd just be the guy with the ass-high phone bill instead of Ren...
That led to a bit of a pause between them. Once Maruki was speaking up again, Scott was thanking f*ck about the fact that he'd picked up on the fact that he really didn't feel like explaining why he couldn't.
"I'm sorry to hear that. Well... do you have a set date you know you'll get to return on? You could always hold onto that!"
"Nope."
"...Ah. That certainly doesn't make things easier, does it."
Man, this session's turning into something way sadder than I thought it'd be... is this how Chibi-Robo felt when his franchise got mangled by Nintendo in the west?
"Perhaps we should save that topic for another day."
Once again, Dr. Maruki's words were breaking Scott out of his train of thought. Train or no train though, he sure as hell wasn't gonna oppose that idea.
"Works for me." Scott said with a nod.
The therapist seemed to struggle with thinking of a topic for a moment, and was thumbing through his notes for ideas.
"Perhaps... instead of discussing your future of returning to America, it would be better to talk about the past? After all, the added context would definitely enhance our talks..."
Why does he look so antsy about this all of a sudden...?
Regardless, Scott shrugged. "Yeah, why the f*ck not. It's all just words."
Question was, what was he gonna actually talk about? He had quite a few experiences that would be considered exposition-worthy...
"Oh, I could tell you the rest of what happened when I played those bad Nintendo games from 2015?"
Dr. Maruki blinked. "There was more to that story than what you noted last time?" For some reason, that seemed to shock him. Like he had assumed getting therapy to treat post-sh*t game syndrome to end up driving that therapist insane and swapping places with him for all of five minutes was all there could be to that tale.
"Yep, there was more stuff that happened between Jerry telling me to finish what I started and me actually managing to do that. For one thing, I invited the guys that played the first two games with me as an emotional support thing..."
One sh*t-filled, monster-filled, and sh*t monster-filled story later, Scott looked back at Maruki to discover that he was furiously scribbling on his clipboard and muttering to himself. Looked like he was the one getting totally absorbed in his own thought processes this time.
"Maybe the Anti-Gex is...? But his friends could see it, too... perhaps it's like when he swears...? If that's the case, then wouldn't he be...? Doesn't seem to be aware..."
"Uh... Maruki?"
Apparently the therapist had somehow forgotten he was still with the guy he was theorizing about, because he jumped when he heard Scott speak.
"What are you even mumbling to yourself like that for?" Asked Scott.
"Oh, sorry! Just, ah... got caught up in my own musings again, like I mentioned earlier. That was fascinating though, Scott!"
"...Thanks?" It was impossible to tell if Scott wanted to interpret that as a good thing or a bad thing.
Apparently it was a good thing according to Dr. Maruki, who was even more smiley than usual, with a ton of poorly disguised excitement right along with it.
"Seriously, do you have more stories like that? I'd love to hear them, if you're willing to share!"
Scott blinked. This wasn't a new form of crazy he was accidentally infecting this therapist with, right? "Uh, sure? It's getting pretty late though, you're positive you wanna do this now?"
"Wait, is it...? " The therapist muttered to himself a bit more for good measure as he looked up at the clock on the wall. "Oh, it is! I completely lost track of time, so sorry! Hrm... am I going to be late meeting up with Shibusawa...? I should probably let him know I'm on my way now... wait, aren't I forgetting something?" After turning away from the clock again, now with a furrowed brow, Dr. Maruki was reminded again that Scott did, in fact, exist. "Ah, right! You should probably head home for the night, Scott. Tell Ren I said hi, alright?"
"Can do, you try not to go insane 'cause of the weird sh*t I talk about! I'd like to avoid getting diagnosed with therapist-insanity-causing-itis..."
"Hah, I'll try not to! Want a snack for the road?" With another one of his signature warm smiles, Dr. Maruki motioned over to his trusty snack drawer. Huh... was Scott seeing things, or did it actually have even more snacks than it did last time?
Note to self, tell this guy about video game food.
Then again, this drawer would probably start overflowing if I did that...
-EVENING-
When Scott got back to the Leblanc attic, Ren looked up from his book to greet him. "Hey. Is that from Maruki?"
The 'that' in question was the bag of chips that Scott had ended up picking out before heading home. So he nodded, since they were, in fact, from Maruki.
"I dunno who had the idea of putting soy sauce and mayo on a potato chip..." Scott mumbled through a mouthful of chip.
Nobody said anything in response, until Morgana cocked his head at that after a moment. "But...?"
"But what? I don't know who the person was that thought to do something like this, what else would I even say there?"
While Morgana continued to look completely befuddled, Ren decided to ask a question of his own.
"You like it?"
The hell kind of a question is that? Scott raised an eyebrow, but decided to explain his reasoning anyways. "It's a potato chip, of course I like it. A better question would be 'what kinda f*ckin' lunatic doesn't like potato chips?!'"
"You make a compelling argument."
"Anyways, you get a response from Leaky Not-Steve yet?"
Ren shook his head. "No, but it won't be long until we do. I'm sure of it."
Despite it seeming like it should be impossible for him, Morgana rolled his eyes. "I already said it's not guaranteed that we'll get anything, remember?! Don't get your hopes up more than you absolutely have to, or else-"
Suddenly, a loud BZZ came from next to Ren. It was his phone on the work desk, vibrating louder than an angry school chaperone on the hard surface. When he unlocked it and checked the notification, his face got the faintest hint of a smile on it.
"It's from the reporter." Stated Ren.
"Oh sh*t, what's it say?" Scott asked. Maybe she'd throw in some upcoming game leaks with her mafia info for good measure!
After clearing his throat, Ren began to read the email aloud.
Heyyy~!
"There's three Ys and a tilde there, by the way." That was Ren, pointing out some some of the incredibly important details of the message.
You're actually contacting me! Getting those business cards printed finally paid off, looks like! I've been looking into new leads on a juicy story ever since Madarame confessed, since he sorta published that for me in a way. Thanks to that, I might just have what you're looking for! Since you're on a tight schedule, I wanna note that I'm actually available to talk right now, you'll find me at the Crossroads in Shinjuku! That is, if you're man enough to come over to this part of Tokyo at night. ;)
"There's a winky face after that."
"Huh. What's so winky about a bunch of buildings...?" Scott wondered aloud.
Feel free to take your time getting here, scoops don't sleep and neither do I!
- Ichiko Ohya
P.S. Weren't you in a Shujin uniform when I saw you last? There's something I'd like to ask you before I give any intel I may or may not have. So yeah, see ya there! :D
"And that's the whole message, other than the open smiley face at the end there." Ren finished, and put down his phone.
Well, this was definitely on some real short notice, but Scott wasn't one to talk. It was arguably worse that he had invited two friends over to play those games in the past... he shuddered at the thought. Gotta get his mind back off Zip-Lash, stat.
"So, are we going? The sooner we get this intel the better, right?" He asked.
"Yeah, I think we should go tonight. That way, we can get started on the palace first thing in the morning, and we're gonna need every minute we can get with this deadline."
"Hold on, you two." Morgana mewed up at them, suddenly sounding all serious. "This is Shinjuku we're talking about. At night. There's no way in hell you aren't changing out of that uniform before we leave, Wozniak!!"
Christ, he f*cking hated when people called him that... "What's the big deal? People walk around still in their uniforms after school, right?"
"Of course you don't know... Shinjuku is the red-light nightlife district, moron! We have to try and pass as adults if we don't wanna get cops on our butts!!"
Red-light district...? Wait, but that would mean...
Scott's face drained of color as the reality of the situation set in for him.
Oh, f*ck.
Notes:
No actual musical number exposition, sorry musical number exposition fans! (Seriously, there was a surprisingly high number of them in the comments in the last chapter.)
That said, hopefully the Maruki session and the promise of Scott having to walk through Shinjuku will make up for that! See you all next week for that!!(also i know i'm posting this late in the day i actually almost forgot to entirely but don't tell anyone shh)
Chapter 46: CUT THE BULLSH*T, JUST GET TO THE F*CKING PALACE!!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Turned out, they had to go to the red-light district to progress in their mission... Scott wasn't prepared to find that out, he was a virgin, dammit! The only thing that could make him feel even more out-of-place than he already did here was that, and now they were walking right into the belly of the Donkey Kong Barrel Blast beast!!
"You're saying, like... sex?" Dammit, now he could feel his face turning red. Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball was one thing, but going to a real life location where Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball-esque things actually happen was another one entirely.
Well I mean, it's not real life, but it's gonna be just as in my eyeballs as if it was!! Sh*t, I can already smell the chlorine from the poolside...
"...Scott? Are you alright over there?"
Once again, Ren saved the day with his voice breaking Scott out of his spiral into madness.
"Eeyup!! Definitely fine! Totally not freaking out over here!!" He managed to sputter out in response.
Thankfully, due to the fact that Ren had eyes under those shiny glasses (contrary to popular belief), he wasn't falling for Scott's horsesh#t. "...I'll see if anyone else can come with us."
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ren] Hey, I got an email back from Ohya.
[Ryuji] FINALLY
[Ryuji] well dont just leave us hangin!! what'd she say whatd she say??? :D
[Ren] She wants to meet up in Shinjuku to do any actual exchange of intel.
[Ann] wait, Shinjuku?! but if we wait until daytime, we're gonna be missing out on precious time...
[Ren] We're going tonight, actually.
[Ren] I'm sure she would accept a request to reschedule, but like you said, we don't exactly have that luxury...
[Scott] Yeah well Probably make it out alive and with our virginities intact dont worry about us!!!!!
[Yusuke] That is not the number of exclamation marks used by a man who truly isn't worried about anything.
[Ann] plus, the use of the word "probably..." but that's a bit more obvious.
[Ren] Scott is absolutely freaking out, yeah.
[Ren] I was hoping someone else could tag along, safety in numbers and all that.
[Scott] What good would bringing math do????
[Yusuke] Yes, that's... probably for the best. Unfortunately, I don't exactly have the funds to come by train... Seems I'll need to start budgeting for moments like these.
[Ann] isn't the train fare like 160 yen??
[Ryuji] tbh thats probably for the best
[Ryuji] if we all went at once itd be a pain in the ass to get anywhere without some cop goin
[Ryuji] "tf are these teens doing in this general area"
[Ryuji] fr tho pigs these days rlly got jack shit to do w their lives huh :/
[Scott] Cmon man, dont call cops pigs
[Scott] What did a farm animal ever do to you to deserve a comparison like that??
[Yusuke] True... pigs aren't tainted by the same vices so many humans are, and yet we portray them as revolting...
[Ann] ig its because it's a gross job trying to take care of them? idk
[Ryuji] pigs and cops aint important rn!!
[Ren] You're right.
[Ren] By the way Ryuji, are you willing to come with us?
[Ryuji] ofc dude!!
[Ren] Then that should be enough people to band together without standing out.
[Ann] probably better that it's just guys going, too...
[Ryuji] no way im gonna put you in harms way ann!! >:/
[Ann] usually i'd say I can take care of myself, but... thanks Ryuji. ^-^
[Scott] Christ, is the place really bad enough that anns scared to even go Near shinjuku?
[Ryuji] maybe not, but no way in hell am i testing that theory.
[Ryuji] anyways!! meet me at shibuya station and ill show ya how to get to the area, since tokyo trains are wild as always lmao
[Scott] Ok cool, see ya there!
[Ren] Thanks for the guidance, Ryuji
[Ryuji] anytime bros!!! :D
The sun had long since set between talking to Maruki, the commute back to Yongen-Jaya (which included a line transfer at Shibuya Station), getting the email, and going back to Shibuya again to meet Ryuji, and finally making it to Shinjuku. Despite that, the place almost looked like they were there during the middle of the day with just how lit up and crowded it was. Hell, this place probably was even more lively right now than it was at daytime, given the... er... main attraction.
There was a red and hazy glow to everything with all of the glowing signs advertising non-virgin establishments with reds and pinks, even a few oranges. Quite a few places had people standing outside, trying to invite people in. Like Ryuji had guessed, there were a few cops milling about in the crowd, but they were luckily easy to spot since they were in uniform.
Ren looked up from his phone into the distance. "If I'm reading the maps app right, Crossroads Bar should be right up ahead. Are you all ready for this?"
"Absolutely not." Said Scott.
"'Bout as ready as I'll ever be..." Ryuji added.
After looking between his two teammates for a second, as well as at the district ahead, Ren sighed.
"One out of two isn't that bad..."
Thanks to some unforeseen curse, the straightforward path to Crossroads Bar quickly got... well, not straightforward.
Not because the route ended up being complicated, no. It was actually because of the fact that the guys kept running into random employees trying to invite them in to spend money on their services or whatever (Scott was trying to actively tune it out, to be honest), but also because Ren noticed a cop eyeing Ryuji's pants like they were familiar to him and pulled them all into a side street to avoid getting stopped.
"I told you the uniform was a bad idea..." Morgana grumbled.
He'd actually brought that up at Shibuya Station, right when they met up.
"And I told you that there wasn't any time to change into somethin' else! My shirt's totally different from the uniform, I didn't think anyone would give enough of a shit to notice!"
Well, there was a bit of merit to Ryuji's pissed-off response. His graphic tee was deep red, completely different from the usual Shujin white polo, and could probably be passed off as some punk look if you didn't know those were specifically uniform pants. That said...
"Can we just move fast enough to not stick out so we can get this over with?" Scott suggested. Seriously, the less time he spent in this virginity-less hellhole, the better.
"W-wait!!"
Before anyone could do anything else, a young woman's voice cried out to them. Not from the front of a store or anything, which was revealed when Scott turned around and saw a... wait, was that a fortune-teller's booth?
The fortune teller actually running the booth was half-standing, and both of her hands were flat on the surface of her table with a deck of cards off to the side. She was looking right at Ryuji, who had a clear "what the f*ck is going on right now" expression on his face.
"You, with the blonde hair!" She called out again. "There's a disaster looming in your very near future, I suggest-"
Even though her message to Ryuji sounded pretty urgent, she suddenly cut herself off and looked at Scott with a wide-eyed look that sent chills down his spine.
"What...? But that doesn't make any sense..." The fortune teller furrowed her brow. It was strange, and Scott couldn't explain why, but it almost felt like this lady was staring right into him like he was a pack of Amiibo cards she was opening, revealing the multicolored animals inside. "You! Foreigner! I need to read your fortune, so please come and sit down!"
The f*ck was she so agitated about?! Not only was Scott not a fan of that piercing gaze, but he just straight up didn't want his future spoiled for him. He learned that the hard way when he divined the fact that Bethesda's E3 conference in 2019 was gonna suck, there's no way he wouldn't have been surprised by that otherwise! "Uh, sorry, but f*ck no. I don't mess with that sh*t, and we're all sorta in a hurry anyways."
While that definitely was a blow to her sales pitch, she wasn't giving up just yet. "W-well, at least let your friend get a quick reading from me! I sense impending woman troubles, and I mean very impending, so it'd be best if he's warned of the situation before that time comes." She took one hand off of the table in order to motion to the other chair on the opposite side of her booth. "I believe there's more to your upcoming disaster than I can immediately discern, so it truly is in your best interest to allow me to take a closer look."
...Yeah, Ryuji didn't look impressed. "C'mon lady, he just said we're all in a hurry. Hell, I don't even believe in that stuff, so I'd probably pass even if I did have time to kill."
Finally, the fortune teller sat back down, looking disappointed. "I see... I'm sorry for bothering you, may fate be merciful to you when it comes knocking."
"Shit, you're makin' it sound like I'm gonna effin' die..." Ryuji mumbled with a wince.
He was already getting impatient before that moment, but now Morgana finally decided he'd had enough of everyone's bullsh*t. "Let's just go already! How'd you guys manage to get wrapped up in this anyways, we're supposed to be on a mission here!!"
"Look man, you get your soul stared into by some random lady on the street next time and see how that works out for your focus." Grumbled Ryuji. "Not gonna complain about goin', though."
Scott hesitated before following everyone else, wondering what the f*ck just happened, but got his ass in gear before the other three got separated from him.
Aside from a few more people advertising stuff, the guys made it to Crossroads without any more issues. The place was actually sunken in a bit compared to the buildings surrounding it, making room for a stairway up to some other place they didn't give a sh*t about. Anyways, the point was that the four of them were now standing in an entrance area lit up by purpley-pink lights and marked with a light-up sign that featured a snail logo next to the word "Newcomer," instead of Crossroads, for... some reason.
"Hold on... we're goin' in? Ain't this place a bar?!" ...Did Ryuji seriously not think of that until just now??
"Did you seriously not think of that until just now?!" Morgana yowled.
That's what I was thinking!!
"Wh- of course not!" He spluttered in his defense, although it was pretty obvious that he really didn't think that far ahead. To be fair, that'd just be expecting too much of Ryuji. "I thought you'd email her again, and she'd... I dunno, come outside?!"
Ren nodded. "Nice save." Apparently, he wasn't even going to try and hide the fact that he knew Ryuji's excuse was something he just pulled out of his ass. "You don't have to come in, if you don't want to."
"Forget if he doesn't want to, he shouldn't in those damn pants!!" Added Morgana. "That's just like walking in and begging to get us treated like some kinda high school detective wannabes!"
Huh. Scott furrowed his brow. "That sounds... weirdly specific. What, is that a reference to something?"
That disappointed expression, the crossing of the arms... yeah, Ryuji obviously did want to go in, at least once he had a second to think about it.
"Fine, fine..." He grumbled. "Just to get you off my ass, alright?! Guess I'll just chill on the stairs, since this place is kinda outta the way..."
"Think of it this way, you're watching our sixes." Ren told Ryuji, trying to reassure him.
Good, someone around here's gotta maintain the delicate "roasting the sh*t out of Ryuji" ecosystem.
"I appreciate you tryin' to make me feel better, Ren-Ren... but we sorta both know that's bullshit."
"Well, it was worth a shot..." After Ren shot Ryuji an apologetic look, he reached out and took hold of the one door handle separating everyone else from a real-ass bar.
"Here goes nothing."
Crossroads was a small bar, but it had a cozier vibe than it did a cramped one. The purpley-pink mood lighting was used inside as well, and other than a few neon signs that said stuff like "welcome" and "love," it was the one thing keeping the place from being totally dark.
A woman(? It was a little difficult to tell, but it was obviously the vibe she was going for, whether she was a drag queen or a full-time woman) wearing a purple kimono and heavy makeup greeted them. "Welcome, boys. Come on in, make yourselves comfortable." She paused for a moment, and sized them up. "Actually... how old are you two?"
"They're with me, Lala-chan!"
The one patron in the entire bar (not counting Ren and Scott, obviously) piped up and raised her hand. It took a second to recognize her in the dimly-lit room, but with that pair of huge sunglasses sitting on her head and the fanny pack she had on, it was undeniably Ohya.
The bartender, Lala, raised an eyebrow and chuckled a bit. "My, inviting two young boys to a bar... that's quite scandalous for someone that specializes in writing scandals, Ohya."
"Yeah, yeah, but nobody cares about scandals that don't involve some celebrity, y'know? And I'm no celebrity!"
Scott could recognize that slurred kinda speech anywhere, especially after reviewing the whole Virtual Boy library with some dumb f*cking quality scale. Ichiko Ohya was drunk off her ass.
She was also literally off her ass, since she was getting up from the bar stool she was seated in with her glass still in hand. "I'm gonna borrow the seats in the back, 'kay? Oh, and gimmie two glasses of water to treat these guys with!"
...You're "treating" us? Isn't water free 99% of the time?
Lala nodded. "I'm not going to give any of the hard stuff to a minor, but water I can do. Just a moment, boys."
After Ohya showed them to the table in the back, Scott and Ren sat down with Morgana's bag in between. Knowing him, he'd probably be using the low light and the fact that the only other person in earshot of him was drunk back on her ass to his advantage by chiming in to add in a lot of personal advice.
But yeah, the important part was that they had the attention of someone who could very well have the exact information they needed to not get arrested. Hopefully it wouldn't take much to get it out of her...
"Yaknow, I sorta thought you were jokin' when I saw that email in my inbox! Some sorta new trend of prank emails to replace prank calling, or whatever. But then ya two showed up, totally ready for some serious intel! Kudos on comin' all the way here, by the way. Takes real guts to come out to meet a stranger in Shinjuku at night. Or some real dumbness." Ohya seemed to be completely confident in what she was saying until that very moment, when she paused and squinted. "No, not dumbness... dumbicy...? Dumbism?" Finally, she seemed to realize that she was getting distracted, and turned her attention back to Ren. "I'm just gonna go with dumbism!" Despite the fact that Ohya wasn't telling anything even close to a joke, she laughed a bit before continuing.
"What I'm tryna say is that comin' out here was a bold move! So I might as well hear ya out so you don't have to waste this time, what's this info you need so bad?"
As was expected for Ren, no punches were pulled in his response.
"We need to know the name of the mob boss running Shibuya lately."
Ohya grinned. "Yeah, I totally know who that is! Wouldn't be much of a journalist if I couldn't track down one dude, right?"
"Wait, it's that easy?!" Scott asked, totally blindsided by that casually-dropped bomb. "How the hell'd you pull that off, though??"
"A journalist never reveals her secrets!"
Well, I guess that's fair... like how a true lawyer never reveals their identity.
Now Ren asked the million-dollar question. "So... can you tell us?"
"'Course! Buuut, before I do... I have a bit of a request for you two."
Ah, there's the catch...
Ohya took another sip of her drink before continuing. "You've heard about the Phantom Thieves of Hearts, right? It's all the public's been talking about lately, and you're goin' to the same school that their first target taught at... do either of you happen do know anyone that suffered Kamoshida's abuse first-hand? It'd be a great scoop!"
"We better not piss her off before she gives us the info we need..." Morgana grumbled from his bag. "Can't be any of you, that's far too risky. Suzui probably isn't emotionally up for commentary, even if she's starting to recover by now... oh, what about Mishima? That guy would take a bullet for the Phantom Thieves!"
With that decided upon, Ren took out a pen from his bag and wrote down Mishima's contact information on a napkin. "Here. This person should be able to get you the insider information you're looking for."
"Perfect!" The journalist grinned again, looking like a Scott in a Madden 08 store. "Alrighty, as promised, the name you guys want for some weird reason is..." An impromptu drum roll from Ohya was played on the surface of the table.
Cut the bullsh*t, just get to the damn mafia intel!!
"Junya Kaneshiro!"
"Yes!!" Cheered Morgana.
"Thank you, Ohya-san." It was hard to tell if it was really getting across to the woman, but Ren was very grateful.
"No problemo, mi compadre! Hold on, I'll get Lala-chan to get you two some more water and you can tell me all about what the heck you needed that info for!"
Ah Christ, that would be bad... He wasn't sure about Ren's opinion on the matter, but Scott was very ready to escape the sex district and to get back to Leblanc already!
Once he had a hastily made-up excuse in mind, Scott abruptly stood up and very blatantly hinted at Ren to do the same. "Y'know what, I think I left my Wii U gamepad on back home! Better get back and plug that in before the batteries are too dead for me to play anything until I remember to plug it in!"
Thankfully, Ren took that hint. "You know what, I think you did... we'd better get going, then."
Ohya did look a little confused, but not confused enough to stop them. "Aaalrighty then! Just remember I'm not responsible for any trouble you kids get up to with that info, got that?"
"Totally, yeah, consequences and all that! Anyways we gotta go now bye!!" Scott called behind his shoulder as he led Ren and Morgana back out to the Shinjuku streets.
"Candidate found."
Even though Ryuji had been chilling on the stairs right outside of Crossroads like he said he was going to, the four of them decided to not start acting all shady with their phones out right in front of a bar's entrance.
But once they had gotten to a more open area, Ryuji whipped out his phone and inputted the name at a breakneck pace to check it. And sure enough, it was a hit!
"Holy shit, she wasn't just stringing you along so she could get Mishima's number?!" He exclaimed.
"Not so loud!!" Mewed Morgana, obviously irritated that he had to remind Ryuji of that again. "But it looks like she wasn't. Good, because I have no idea what else we could have tried if she was..."
"There's no use moping about something that isn't going to happen." Ren pointed out. "We've got the name, that's what matters. Let's meet up with the others tomorrow morning, see if we can work out the other keywords."
While Scott did have a hunch as to what the distortion might be, he figured he might as well save it for then. "Great, now can we please get back to literally anywhere else? This gaping hole in all things virginity is really starting to wear me out..."
That wasn't an exaggeration, it was even getting to the point where Scott was feeling a bit dizzy by now. If this kept up, he'd lose all his hair and die in a matter of 2 hours and 30 minutes...
Ryuji snickered. "Dude, you told us that usin' the words 'gaping hole?' That's gotta be the dirtiest thing we've heard tonight!"
Oh god oh f*ck it's already getting to me that badly?!
Just before Scott had the chance to really start spiraling, two quickly approaching voices caught his attention.
"Ohmigosh, THAT'S the blondie you saw? I am so sorry for doubting you Julie, he's perfect!"
"He's got a lot to learn, but with the way he was sitting outside of Crossroads all nervous, there's no way that boy isn't considering becoming a drag queen!"
"Oh, absolutely! The way you put it, it's obvious he's nervous about the idea of trying it out, and who can blame him?"
" I say you take him under your wing, Angel! Show him there's nothing to be afraid of!"
Sh*t, another roadblock?! Before he really had the chance to think, Scott grabbed Ryuji's arm and made a f*ckin' break for the station. His fight or flight response had finally kicked in, and you bet your ass Scott chose flight.
Once they finally had enough distance away from the comic relief scene, Scott and Ryuji both caught their breath as Ren ran up a second later.
"Dude..." Ryuji started, but had to take a few more breaths before continuing. "Remind me to never stall in Shinjuku ever again."
Notes:
We got a long one this week! It ended up being difficult to write the Shinjuku trip (mostly for pacing reasons), but I think it ended up being pretty good! A lot of people were looking forward to this bit for obvious reasons (well, to a Scott fan), so I hope you all enjoy it!
Also uh as a heads-up, I haven't been writing as much as I usually do (I think I fell out of the habit during early recovery from my top surgery, so it's really just a matter of getting my momentum back heh) so I'm considering switching to uploading every other Friday until I have more of a buffer again, since I've officially gotten closer to fully caught up than I'd like... not set in stone, but if that happens, you know why!
See you next week! Or, y'know, next next week.
Chapter 47: Is Bankruptcy a Crime Now? Is it Illegal to be Worthless? Well, if it is... I'm F*cked.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/19-DAYS UNTIL REPORTED TO POLICE:9--
-DAYTIME-
"If it's supposed to be rainy season, why is it so damn sunny out...?" Scott wondered aloud, as the Phantom Thieves stood under a tiny tree in the middle of the square, the only relief from the heat for several yards.
Ryuji shrugged, fanning himself with his hand. It didn't seem to be helping him much. "Prolly 'cause it's a season, instead of a marathon...? I dunno, weather's weird shit... Oh, and thanks again for savin' my ass last night, man!"
"Hm? Did something happen, Ryuji?" Yusuke asked, cocking his head a bit after taking a sec to wipe off some sweat. He looked... very uncomfortable in the heat.
Guess that's what happens when you have a fire weakness...
"Well, that's Scott for ya! He's super reliable." Ann added, with a huge smile to match. In a direct contrast to Yusuke, she was barely breaking a sweat.
Aaand that's the fire resistance... Dammit, why do I have to be neutral to everything?!
"I dunno about that..." Mumbled Scott.
Since Ryuji apparently wasn't in the mood to talk about the night before, he took advantage of the drift in conversation topic. "SO!!! Ren-Ren, we ready to work out those other keywords?"
Ren seemed to pick up on Ryuji's intention, and rolled with it. "Yeah, it should just be a guessing game from here. Much easier than tracking down the name, in comparison."
"Yeah, but the only clues we have about this guy's distortions are the primary targets, and his motives." Mona mewed from his spot on a short wall around the tree. "And they're pretty generic motives at that, so the only clue we really have is the fact that he's taking advantage of teenagers..."
"And that gives us jack shit on location, too..." Groaned Ryuji. "Shibuya's effin' huge, how the hell do we comb through all of that?!"
Yusuke furrowed his brow, deep in thought. "Perhaps if we determine the distortion first, it will help us with that part. Now, if I were a crime lord extorting the vulnerable for my own monetary gain, what would my distortion be..."
It was clear to Scott that that wasn't gonna work at all. "Dude, you're so broke, I don't know if you can get into a mindset like that. That's like asking Valve to count to 3, which is, y'know, impossible."
Apparently that bummed Yusuke out a little, but he was accepting it with grace. "Perhaps you're right about that, Scott..."
"So, what do we do? Just throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks?" Ann asked.
Scott crossed his arms. "Yeah, guess that rules out the Virtual Boy... one concept down, just an incomprehensible number to go..."
"Kaneshiro sees Shibuya as a place he has complete control over, we know that much. He wouldn't be doing everything in broad daylight if he didn't, you know?" Ren pointed out, as he pulled up his phone and got the MetaNav up to listen out for keywords.
Complete control...? What, like one big Sims household?
"What about a garden?" Asked Ryuji. "Since it's like he's weedin' out the kids he's done with once they're flat broke!"
"No candidates found."
Yeah, that's what Scott predicted would happen. "That's nowhere near fitting enough for this guy... it's gotta be something related to money, like he sees the location as one big tycoon game!"
"No candidates found."
That's just a lack of imagination on this guy's part, then.
While the two of them were throwing around mediocre and incredible ideas respectively, the gears in Ren's head had been turning away.
"What about... a bank?" He asked.
"Candidate found."
The second keyword locked itself in, and in record time after the slog they went through to get the first one.
Ann looked over Ren's shoulder to stare at his screen, like she was confirming the result despite the digitized voice already doing that. "A bank? That's weirdly... normal."
"Nah, I can see it." Scott plainly stated. He remembered the time the bank almost stole all of his sh*t around Christmas time a while back, just because he was in massive debt, which was frankly an idiotic reason to steal a guy's stuff. This was not ironic in any way, shape, or form, as far as Scott knew.
While he was doing it more out of excitement rather than out of disbelief, Morgana peered over Ren's shoulder as well. "That should just leave the location keyword to figure out!" He mewed, his tail swishing a bit in excitement.
I knew we'd be ditching that fourth one at some point!
"That'll be tricky..." Said Ren, and he put his free hand to his chin in thought. "If his distortion is a bank, it wouldn't be his actual hideout, since none of the actual money is coming from there. I may be wrong, but I get the feeling that this has more to do with banks as in a place where money changes hands, rather than just a place to store it."
"So that means his victims are the bank, or something? Man, that's weird... maybe it'd be Central Street, since that's where he does the most work?" Ann wondered aloud. Scott was pretty jealous of her ability to withstand the heat enough to use her brain at full strength...
"No candidates found."
Of course not. After wiping the sweat off his forehead, Scott let out an exasperated sigh. "Wherever it is, I just hope there's air conditioning... okay, what's another place that'd be easy pickings for a mob boss?"
Yusuke nodded with a f*ckload of sympathy. "You and I both, in regards to air conditioning. However, I think we may be thinking a little too inside the box in terms of location... palaces have a method to their madness, but they function on madness nonetheless."
"Whaddaya mean, inside the box? Ann just suggested Central Street, that isn't even inside anything."
"I meant figuratively, Scott."
"...Ah."
Out of the blue, Ryuji piped up, seemingly getting impatient. "Box or no box, how the shit are we supposed to figure out where this goddamn palace is when we've got all of Shibuya to look through?!"
"Candidate found."
Wait, what? Scott hadn't heard any keyword-like phrases in there, was the MetaNav coincidentally mishearing something else?
"...Huh?" Understandably, Ryuji looked extra befuddled. "Wait, what'd it even pick up there??"
"Well, that explains the normal-sounding distortion..." Ren mumbled, and he turned his phone around to show everyone.
Apparently, the location Kaneshiro thought of as his own bank was...
"All of Shibuya."
It was crazy to think about, but the more he thought about it, the more sense it made to Scott. "Guess he's making up for the lack of weirdness in the bank keyword, yeah..." Scott said with a nod. "He's probably thinking something like more people in one place means more wallets to go with 'em."
"That's unforgivable." Stated Yusuke. Despite the temperature outside, his glare was just as cold as it always was.
"Yeah, that's seriously fucked up..." Ryuji muttered, trying his damndest to not start yelling in the middle of the crowded square.
"Then we better get going! Ready, everyone?" Asked Morgana. He stood up on the wall he was resting his butt on, ready to jump into action as soon as they entered the Metaverse.
Ann grinned. "Oh, I've been ready!"
"Same here." Scott added. "Are we doing this here, though? There's gotta be enough people around here to fill an E3 conference hall!"
"Eh, who cares?" Somehow, after everything he'd done to blow their cover already, Ryuji shrugged. "As long as we aren't loud enough to cause a scene, I doubt anyone would notice. In a city as big as this, people see way weirder shit on the daily, y'know?"
So that's all he took away from that, huh? Though... I don't wanna admit it, but he kinda has a point. Nobody's noticed the cat we're smuggling around f*cking everywhere, either...
Ren nodded. "I can tell Niijima-san isn't following us, so it should be alright. A crowd this large could actually be effective cover, now that I think about it..."
Just the mention of Miss President made Ann shiver, which was pretty impressive under these circumstances. "Thank God she isn't here... imagine how much more she'd be breathing down our necks if she witnessed this."
"Then let's quit waitin' around for her to get here and get into the palace already!!" Ryuji responded, clearly getting impatient again.
"He's got a point." Said Ren. "The sooner we can get in there and complete this job, the better. Everyone ready?"
Nobody objected, so Ren nodded again in acknowledgement. He hit the enter button on the MetaNav, and the world around them distorted in that strange, yet familiar way.
It was much cooler inside the Metaverse, thanks to the green clouds completely choking out the sun, if it even still existed on this side of reality. With how thick the layer of smog was, it was hard to be sure.
Somehow though, that was just the beginning of this distortion. Normally when they were outside of a palace, the surrounding area didn't change from its real, undistorted look, but this was a different story. Hell, it was like a completely different genre!
The buildings themselves may not have looked all too different, but Shibuya's whole vibe had been flipped on its head. It was really dim thanks to the sun being blocked out, for one. there was a slight breeze blowing past the group, carrying the occasional 10,000 yen bill being carried off to f*ck-knows-where.
Honestly, there was probably more to the location's distortion than that, but it was really damn hard to focus on figuring that out when the fact that the pedestrians of Shibuya were all still walking around here... as living ATMs.
"So, Panther... remember what you said about the victims being his bank?" Duel asked, although he couldn't tear his eyes away from the crowd of money machines.
She nodded, equally in disbelief. "Guess I was right... I can't tell if that's impressive for me, or just sad for Kaneshiro."
"Seriously, that's just fuckin' disgusting!" Skull spat, finally letting himself get loud now that they'd left the 'real' world.
"And worrisome..." Added Mona. "Not just because this distortion is so massive, but also because we're apparently going to have to hunt for the palace itself. It should be massive, but I don't see a single bank around here!"
"We could ask for directions?" Joker pointed out with a shrug. "Kaneshiro's victims would likely know where it is, since it's what drained them."
"How do we know who's who, though...?" Asked Duel, as he started glancing around the square. Thankfully (or unfortunately, depending on how you looked at it), that question answered itself.
There was an ATM person leaning against the wall near the station that looked even worse than the average used game. Their screen was cracked, and they trembled in fright every time a spark appeared from one of several places where the plastic shell was broken off... and they were just one of many. The more Duel looked, the more of the trashed machines he saw, the majority of them being completely motionless and almost always piled up with several other bricked ATMs.
"They're totally littering the streets..." Fox muttered, absolutely disgusted.
Meanwhile, Joker was approaching the trembling ATM Duel had spotted a second ago. Actually, it was likely that everyone had spotted it, it was hard not to when it was letting off bright sparks in the middle of a dim area.
At least that makes our job easier...
Once he was close enough to talk to the victim, he kneeled down to their level. Before he could actually ask anything, a voice began to play from their sh*tty ATM speakers.
"No use mugging me to help pay off your debt... I don't have a single yen left..."
Joker was obviously taken aback, since who the hell starts a conversation like that?! Then again, maybe that's so commonplace in this f*cked up Shibuya that it actually does make sense to open with that.
Finally, he shook off the shock enough to ask a question. "I'm not after money, I'm after directions. Where's the bank?"
The ATM laughed at Joker. "I could tell you where it is, but it won't help you get in... nobody that isn't a patron can get up there, and you don't want to be a patron. Trust me."
"Try me." He told them. Obviously, Joker wasn't going to let a little membership access stop him.
"Where else...? A place that won't leave any tracks, and where he can throw out people he's done with to be sure they're silenced while he moves on to the next sucker he's got his eyes on... t-the bank i-isss..."
Just before they got to the damn point, the voice coming from ATM Joker was questioning suddenly glitched out before cutting out entirely. After letting out one last huge spark, they finally went out of order, falling on their side and lying there. Motionless.
Just like all these piles...
"...I think that's all we'll be getting from that victim." Mona stated as he approached Joker. He stared at the no-longer-living ATM, looking sorry for the financial stability of whoever that person was underneath all this distortion. "They've given up enough already, let's let them rest. Besides, maybe we can work out where the bank is from the information we did get."
"Right... I'm sure we can at least narrow it down." Duel added, and he was already starting to think it over.
Leaving no tracks... easy to throw out people he's done with... up where nobody can get in, unless they're a patron...
...Wait a second.
He started staring up at the sky, confusing the hell out of Skull.
"...Duel? You good, dude?" He asked.
I'd recognize that kind of movement pattern anywhere... the way the bills in the wind look like they're getting closer together the higher up they are, that's not a breeze that's carrying them at all! And if I'm right about this, then...
Now that he had a theory going, Duel had to find out if he was right. He could hear the others shouting after him as he followed the bills and sprinted in the direction of Central Street, but they'd be thankful in a second. Probably. Hopefully.
"Wait up, you're gonna make me mess up my leg again if I gotta start randomly chasin' after you!!" Skull exclaimed as he finally caught up to Duel, who was now standing right smack dab in the middle of the street, eyes still on the sky.
"Not to mention the heart attacks you'll give the rest of us..." Panther added, panting a bit as she got there the moment after Skull did.
Joker had apparently already caught up to him, though Duel hadn't noticed until that very moment. Somehow, he didn't look nearly as winded as he others. "What are you looking at, anyways?" He asked him.
"With the way the bills in the sky are getting that close together... you'll see any second now."
After another few seconds, just as Duel had predicted, a giant structure came into view.
"That's what I'm looking at." He clarified.
The base of the structure was a massive disc-shaped platform, hanging in the sky and slowly moving around the hazy atmosphere. All of the random bills blowing in the wind converged under it, before vanishing entirely as they were sucked inside, just like Duel had thought a minute ago.
"I knew it... this stuff was acting like it was some kinda object magnetized to a player, or being sucked up by Kirby or something. Just took a bit for the sucker to actually show up!"
"Holy shit..." Skull muttered in amazement. "How come you can recognize stuff like that, but you still get ass grades on everything you turn in?!"
"I think it has to do with whenever video games get involved in his mind, but let's not get distracted." Joker pointed at the structure with one gloved finger, and a little too much dramatic flair.
Well, while it was pretty dramatic, the thing he was pointing at was arguably justifiable here.
The bank was all the way up in the sky, floating around on top of the f*cking money Roomba.
"Wow." Panther deadpanned. "I am so glad just 'bank' worked as a keyword, I don't think anyone could have possibly guessed money vacuum along with it..."
"Yeah, those two words should get a restraining order in place before someone sucks up a bill in the real world, but here we are!" Added Duel.
"I hate to be the one to bring up something so troubling, but... I don't think we have any way to actually reach the palace." Fox pointed out, and was unfortunately correct.
With a grim nod, Joker agreed. "Looks like that ATM wasn't exaggerating when they said we can't get up there without being a patron... Mona, is it possible for you to turn into something that can fly? Like a helicopter, or something?"
"Nope... bus-like car's all I can do." He mewed back, a little bummed about that fact.
"Aw, c'mon, you've gotta have somethin', right?!" Cried Skull. "Like some kinda gadget a robot cat would use right now!"
That at least snapped Mona out of his helicopter-less momentary depression, as he whipped around to glare at Skull for that. "Of course not, why would you even ask me if I had stuff like that?! I'm not a robot, or a cat!!"
"Sheesh, alright, I'm sorry I asked..."
"What can we do, then?" Fox asked.
Mona grumbled a bit as he took a second to think it over. "I dunno... but whatever it is, we'll probably have to head back to the real world and change Kaneshiro's cognition somehow."
Duel groaned and pulled his hat down over his face. "Great, more door bullsh*t... and we haven't even gotten inside yet!"
"We still made progress, that's nothing to overlook." Added Joker. "Let's go back and think of a strategy... preferably indoors and with air conditioning."
While Fox looked like he was full of an existential dread for a second there, the mention of air conditioning instantly revitalized him. "Thank heavens..."
Notes:
Yeah, it's official: I'm switching to an upload schedule of every other Friday until further notice. Hopefully it won't be long, though!
If you know the story of Persona 5, you probably know what's coming up next. I don't wanna say it for the sake of poeple who haven't played P5 yet, but needless to say, it's gonna be fun! :D
See you next next week, and thanks for your patience!
Chapter 48: I Take Out a Loan for 30 Grand, and Spend it All on Dewormer Paste. (My Finger Slipped...)
Notes:
GUESS WHOSE DUMBASS FORGOT TO POST YESTERDAY... but better late than never, right?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/20-DAYS UNTIL REPORTED TO POLICE:8--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
"So, no luck from you guys, either?"
The Phantom Thieves were meeting at the Shibuya Station walkway again, since apparently they still hadn't bothered to pick a new spot yet. Even though everyone had clearly been racking their brains all night, nobody was denying the educated guess Ren just made.
"S'not fair that it's up in the goddamn sky..." Groaned Ryuji. Clearly, that thought was making him lose sleep, and the others didn't exactly look much better...
Morgana huffed, and rested his chin on Ren's shoulder. "Can't believe this... right when we thought we were getting started, we hit yet another roadblock!"
"And we can't exactly change his cognition without him there, either." Ren pointed out. "Which isn't good for someone we have no real location for..."
God, this was just getting annoying at this point, in Scott's opinion. He crossed his arms and frowned, grumbling at a volume just barely loud enough for the others to hear. "And of course And Yet, it Moves physics don't apply to real life... can't just fall up there or anything."
"What the heck are we supposed to do now?!" Ann snapped, apparently a bit cranky from the lack of sleep. "Sorry, that was a little much..."
Out of nowhere, Yusuke started looking into the crowd with a troubled expression. "It may not be for long, seeing as we have a visitor."
Sh*t, don't tell me...
There was no need for anyone to tell Scott, because Makoto had just emerged from the crowd and inserted herself right into their group. Because of course she did.
"How goes the job?"
Huh, Makoto doesn't sound as smug as she did before... is this some kinda character arc bullsh*t coming up?
Ren didn't seem to notice, or maybe he just didn't care either. "This is Phantom Thief business, not student council. Please, don't try to butt in."
"...Doesn't seem like it's going well, mind if I ask what's going on?"
Makoto's ignoring Ren's hints now, too...?
"If there's even a slim chance you'll leave us alone afterwards, fine." After sending another glare her way, Yusuke continued. "We can't continue unless we can locate Junya Kaneshiro's exact location, and that's all you need to know."
"So, you found his name, after all... I'm impressed." Makoto hesitated a second, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt a bit with one hand, before finally getting up the courage to say something else.
"Look, since this involves the safety of the student body I'm the president of, I want to help you. Just... for the sake of protecting Shujin Academy from this scam Kaneshiro's running."
"...No."
Ren's answer was straightforward and definite, and the only hesitation he showed had came from the fact that he was reeling a bit from being asked that to begin with.
Somehow, Makoto wasn't expecting to be turned down. "But wouldn't it be easier with more people on the job? At the very least, I could be a fresh set of eyes to review any information you're struggling to piece-"
"He said no." Ann damn near growled, Jesus Christ. "You think you're all that, huh? Well, news flash, you aren't! All you've been doing is getting in our way, and we don't need anyone useless like you right now!!"
"Use...less...?"
Makoto's eyes widened.
Ann suddenly looked like she was having second thoughts on what she just said.
The tenseness between the two of them was so damn, well... in tense, that it basically infected the rest of the group.
I haven't felt this awkward since that 28 hour carpool with an attempted murderer to the Litigation Station...
"I'll do it."
Wait... what? Why was Makoto speaking up again, and while we're at it, why was she even still here?!
"What...?" Ren asked tentatively.
"I'll find out where Kaneshiro's hideout is, and you can continue working on... whatever it is you do. I refuse to be useless to anyone else, got it?!"
Once she finished her tirade there, she turned around and ran off, leaving behind a very confused group of Phantom Thieves.
"Uh... the fuck just happened?" Ryuji asked.
Ann shook her head in disbelief. "There's no way she's serious, right?! What the hell is wrong with that girl??"
"I dunno..." Scott furrowed his brow. "I'd recognize that look of being determined as f*ck without a good idea to back it up anywhere, I see it in my mirror constantly!" There wasn't any time to lose... if they were going to have anything more than no hope of catching up to her, Scott had to go, NOW.
So, he did. He ran off into the crowd, hoping with all his might that the devs would just use the same alley location for this cutscene, after it was used for the time Makoto showed up and blew their questioning. It was already modeled and everything, why wouldn't it be?!
Scott's hunch was right, thank f*ck. He skidded to a stop at the edge of the alley that connected to Central Street, where he saw Makoto talking to two shady-ass guys. If Scott hadn't chased after her, she would have even been outnumbered!
"I need to speak with Kaneshiro."
Holy sh*t, she's really charging in... she's gonna Leeroy Jenkins all of our asses if this goes wrong! And that's barely even an if!!
He hung back, at least for now. The last thing he wanted to do was do the same damn thing, since the lesser-known aftermath of that iconic gaming battle cry was that Leeroy's entire party was wiped thanks to his recklessness.
"What the fuck are you even talkin' about?" That was one of the shady guys responding to her, with a gruff and kinda pissed-off voice.
"Your boss, Junya Kaneshiro, is blackmailing the students of Shujin Academy, and I'm not going to stand for that as their student council president. Now, you have two options. One, you take me to see him, since I'd assume he wouldn't want to meet up next to a public gym, despite the fact that we're in an alley. Otherwise, your second option is you ignore me, and I go to the police."
She's got guts, I'll give her that...
The second man put away his smartphone, after having the incredible foresight to call his boss as soon as Makoto started talking. "I dunno if you're crazy, suicidal, or just stupid, but he says he'll meetcha. Car's already on its way."
Ah, maybe she's actually just crazy. Forgot to consider that one.
"Good. If any of you try anything funny, it'll only make your charges worse, got that?!" Makoto spat, not backing down at all despite the fact that things were already starting to ramp up.
A sleek black car soon rolled into the alleyway and parked right by where Makoto and the mafia guys were standing, and she still wasn't backing down. Her being crazy was getting to be a more likely option with every second...
He couldn't hang back anymore, unless Scott wanted to lose her anyways after all that hard work of chasing her. And he really didn't, dammit!!
One of the mafia guys pulled open the car door for her, but it completely lacked any of the usual vibes of politeness you'd get from that. "Get in."
"If you don't take me directly to Kaneshiro, I'll- Wozniak-kun?!"
Makoto's demands were interrupted by her shock of seeing Scott, but the first mafia guy apparently didn't give a sh*t about that either. "Quit bitchin' and get in the fuckin' car!!"
It was time for Scott to intimidate these guys into releasing Makoto. Hopefully he'd had a bit of Chet Shaft rub off on him during his terrifying last day of working for him. "Let her go, you Goro Majima vibe wannabes that aren't even remotely succeeding!!"
The second mafia guy raised an eyebrow at Scott, then turned back to his captive. "You got followed, huh? Shame this is apparently the best you could fuckin' do... well, it's a shame for you, 'course. Take care of 'im!"
"Yeah, yeah..." The first guy grumbled a bit to himself as he marched over to Scott, who put his arms up like he was about to get into a bout of fisticuffs.
"I'm warning you, These fists have defeated a thing that didn't even have three dimensions to work with!" He threw in a couple shadow punches for good measure, but that shady guy just kept coming. Sh*t, he even laughed!
"Holy shit, it's rectangle guy again! I got news for you pal, you get hit way harder by these three-dimensional hands. Here, I'll give you a demo!"
Before Scott had any time to react, the mafia guy stopped his approach and swung. There was a sharp pain in the side of his head, he suddenly lost his balance, and then...
Guess punch demos are downloadable now...
...After that last thought (that didn't even make much sense), everything went black. Scott hadn't even hit the ground yet when that happened.
Scott could feel pleather upholstery below him. Well, I say feel, but he was drifting in and out of consciousness so much that he could really only focus on one sense at a time. As cool as pleather is, his ears were picking up far more interesting sh*t.
"...Yeah, she's a damn good one, too... what...? No, we weren't followed... the one twig that did popped out before we drove off, one bop on the head and he was out like a fuckin' light..."
"I asked you where we were going... are you going to answer me or not...?"
"Yeah, I'm thinkin' not..."
Those voices... it took Scott a moment to really place them, but they clearly belonged to Makoto and the two mafia guys once he had a moment to think about it.
Eventually, the car they were in turned, and finally came to a stop. Scott was still pretty much out, so he wasn't really aware of most of that as he got dragged inside and dumped on the floor. Despite the fact that he was literally unconscious, his nose was being assaulted by the stench of booze that had soaked into the fibers of the carpet he was laying on, with cameos from some other substance-y scents that definitely didn't smell legal.
"H-hey, don't touch my things...!"
There was Makoto's voice in his ears again. She kept protesting something, followed by some grunts that sounded specifically like someone being forced to the floor, somehow. Maybe just for the sake of convenience, maybe floor-forcing has a specific ring to it, and you'll never know for sure.
"Interrupted a call to your boyfriend so you could demand to speak to me, huh...? Talk about priorities... I'll just go ahead and hang up for you, since you're a bit... held up."
That voice, on the other hand, was totally new.
"Let go of me...!"
It sounded like Makoto was speaking through gritted teeth there, like she wanted to start whaling on the guy holding her down as soon as she was free.
"Do as she says." Was that Ren's voice...? When did he get here?
"Of course... 'just the one twig' following you, huh? Then what's the rest of the goddamn tree doing here?!"
"Get your hands off of her before I turn you bastards into yard waste!!" There's Ryuji, loud as all f*ck, of course...
"Give her up, Kaneshiro. Otherwise, We'll be forced to call the police." And Yusuke, with an obvious bluff. He knew that getting the cops involved with anything would only end badly for Ren and Scott, and he obviously knew that.
"You kids know my name, huh? That's impressive... and really fuckin' annoying. Who the hell do you all think you are, some kinda teen Investigation Team?!"
That new voice was Kaneshiro?! That made sense, considering the earlier comment about Makoto's priorities...
So is this illegal-smelling rug like this 'cause it's in a mafia guy's hideout??
Slowly but surely, Scott was coming back to his senses, and the strong smell from said carpet was a pretty big part of that.
"God, I need to blow off some steam... hey baby, how much was that crocodile purse you had your eye on the other day? When we were over in Ginza."
"Uhmmm... I think it was three million yen!"
...Wait, was that bubbly, girly voice Kaneshiro's girlfriend?! No, wait, she was probably just in it for the money. Speaking of which...
"Holy cow, I thought briefcases full of money were just a thing in movies!"
Thanks for the conveniently descriptive commentary, Morgana...
"OMG, really?! You're the bestest boyfriend ever!"
"Don't thank me, thank them. They're the ones that are gonna be paying for it."
"And what's that supposed to mean?!" Ann's angry voice reached Scott's ears next.
"Do I really have to spell it out for you...? You guys are pissin' me off so much that you've forced me to resort to retail therapy. But now, I'm pissed off about this hole in my neatly-filled briefcase. I'm a perfectionist, that shit won't be flying with me in a million years. So, since you guys were the ones pissing me off in the first place, it's only fair that you make it up to me by filling it back up, isn't it?"
"Wh- no the fuck it isn't??" Sounded like Ryuji was thinking the same thing Scott was... that is, until the sound of a camera shutter interrupted that thought process.
"Shit, not a single smile for the camera...? You guys all look like you're constipated in this... but that doesn't exactly matter! I got drugs and booze in the frame, not to mention the twig that's passed out 'drunk' on the floor over there... by the way, you guys all go to Shujin, right? Your uniforms match student council president over there."
"So, you're blackmailing us like you blackmailed all those other students?" Ren asked.
"Hey, you're a little sharper than your classmates here are! Might wanna step up your game, Niijima... after you get me my three million yen, that is. You've got three weeks until I send this pic to your school, got that? Beg your parents for money if you have to, since they'll just end up broken if you don't pay up."
"Mmh... most of us don't even have parents around, dumbass..." Scott mumbled, finally conscious enough to open his eyes to the very dim and very bleary purple club.
Kaneshiro, a short and stout man with gross brown hair that was slicked back on his head, smirked down at him. "I don't give a shit where you get it, as long as I get what I'm owed. And if I don't... you won't wanna be awake for that, Sleeping Beauty."
His head was still too muddled to think of a witty retort, so Scott settled for glaring up at the mafia boss.
Turned out Kaneshiro didn't give a sh*t about that either, since he went right back to addressing Makoto. "Now, you may be the one that's representing your little group, but don't hesitate to make them work just as hard as you'll have to to pay me back! This isn't one of your precious exams, I'm not going to deduct points for cheating."
A grin that looked a little too wide for anyone's comfort spread across his face, and he nodded at the guy holding Makoto down, signaling him to release the girl already.
"You sick bastard..." She muttered, rubbing at her wrists now that they finally weren't being held behind her back.
"Ah-ah-ah, I'd advise you don't piss me off even more, unless you want just two weeks to pay me back. I'll be a nice guy and let you off with a warning this time, but only if you get the fuck out of my sight. Right. Now."
That condescending tone Kaneshiro was using was disgusting to hear. Still, Scott didn't need to be told to leave twice, so he started getting to his feet. He stumbled a bit under his own weight, still not feeling 100% after getting knocked out, but thankfully Ren was there for Scott to lean on as the group left in silence.
For once, Scott could tell exactly what Ren was feeling at that moment. And that was a metric f*ckton of worry for himself, the Phantom Thieves, and even for Makoto.
Yeah, who wouldn't be concerned in a situation like this...?
Notes:
The every other week schedule is likely gonna stay a while longer, since I'm back at school and my workload is bigger than last year's... but I'm sure I'll figure some kind of balance out!
(Also if you could all pretend it's still Friday and that I didn't just completely forget to post this chapter that'd be great)...Anyways. See you next next week!
Chapter 49: Makoto Niijima Snapped! (She Just F*ckin' LOST IT!!!)
Notes:
TW: Mention of hypothetical sexual abuse of a minor. More spelled out than it is in-game, where it's moreso heavily implied.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
-EVENING-
The Phantom Thieves slowly made their way back to Shibuya Station after leaving the mafia hideout, which was fairly out of the way. It was still somewhat light out when they started, but by the time they were back on Central Street, it was already late enough for the sun to have set. Christ, how long was Scott knocked out for...?
"Hold on, I can go on without the help." At the very least, Scott felt like he should quit leaning on Ren. It felt weird to be relying on a guy that wasn't even real...
He stumbled a bit when he let go, but managed to get back his balance. Seemed like him breaking the silence had been enough for Makoto to finally work up the courage to speak up.
"I-I'm so sorry, everyone..."
The others stopped and looked at her. In a stark contrast to the Makoto earlier that was determined to the point of recklessness, the Makoto standing in front of them now looked like she was desperately trying not to cry.
"I wanted so badly to be useful, but all I ended up doing was dragging you into this mafia scam yourselves... I can't believe I was stupid enough to be blinded by my desperation there." She chuckled a bit at that last part of her statement, despite herself.
Ryuji put up his hand to try and stop Makoto from spiraling even more. "Hey, don't start that blame game shit up. Ya can't change the past, so... we'll just burn this bridge now that we're at it, okay?"
"Are you being the mature one here right now, Ryuji? Cut it out, it's weird." Said Scott.
"Hey, I'm just tryin' to help!!"
"I appreciate the effort, but it's not as simple as that for me. Now Sis is gonna have to deal with what I'm getting into on top of everything else..." Makoto explained, averting everyone's gazes. "Just another reason why I'm a burden, I guess..."
That seemed to catch Yusuke's interest. "...Can you elaborate? If it's not too emotionally troubling, that is."
Makoto shook her head. "No, it's fine... my older sister is much more important than I am, and she's got an important job and everything. Since our father died three years ago, it's just me and her at home, so she has to take care of me since I'm still a child. I'm just taking important time from her by making her do that..."
"I seriously doubt your own family would see you as just a burden, though."
Surprisingly, Ann was the one that spoke up there. After all the criticizing she had done, she was stepping up to comfort Makoto.
Now that's a plot twist...
"She does, I know that for a fact. Hard to dispute something someone says to your face, after all..." Makoto sighed before continuing. "All I wanted was to not be useless for once, and that's why I rushed in without thinking... but all that ended up doing was make me worse than useless to you all. No, I was already that for not noticing that something was wrong around Kamoshida sooner. I could have done something, if I had just followed up on my suspicions instead of putting them aside... guess that makes me a terrible person all around, huh...?"
Ren shot Makoto a look, but it wasn't one that held any negativity towards her like before. "What happened was Kamoshida's fault, not yours. Don't get that mixed up."
"And real terrible people don't say they're terrible. We could be sitting around and getting gray hairs worrying about what I could have done in the past, or we could get up and do something in the present. Moping won't change anything, and Shiho knows that as well as I do, so someone as smart as you should know, too." Damn, Ann was really going hard on the comfort... she wasn't smiling or anything, but it was still like a total 180 from earlier that day.
Guess she feels guilty for snapping at her like that...?
"...You're right, what I need to do now is focus on getting you all out of harm's way. I'll delete the audio evidence and pay Kaneshiro back somehow, so please, don't worry about proving your justice to me anymore. Just... put this whole ordeal behind you, and I'll bear the responsibility for you all." Makoto told them with a sigh.
"That won't be happening."
"Amamiya-san...?"
She looked up at Ren, clearly confused about what he'd just said. He'd been sorta side-looking at Makoto for a bit, but now he full-on turned towards her. Definitely with a bit of theatrical flair, but that was besides the point.
"If we just dropped this mission now, we'd be turning our backs on the kids that are suffering because of the distorted desires of someone with an unfair position of power over them." He explained. "And I- no, we are committed to making sure that there's some hope for those being abused by adults just like Kaneshiro."
Makoto apparently couldn't believe what she was hearing, based on the way she stared at Ren like he was crazy. "But... you could get yourselves killed in the process!"
It seemed that Ren had been expecting her to say that. He chuckled a bit, like she had just fallen into his trap, which may have just been how he saw conversations.
No, wait, it's probably how he sees conversations. "May" is just misrepresenting that sh*t.
"What, did you think the justice you wanted us to prove to you was a lie? We're going to change Junya Kaneshiro's heart, whether you're forcing us to or not." Ren stated with a smirk, apparently satisfied with his delivery of that line.
Ryuji half-raised his hand. "Uh, Ren-Ren, ya know I'm behind you all the way, but... don't we need to figure out how we're gonna get into that bank first??"
Everyone stared at him in slight horror. Apparently, Ryuji hadn't even noticed the fact that he'd accidentally leaked a key part of their mission.
Literally, it's a goddamn key word, for f*ck's sake!!
"...Bank?" Makoto asked, just as oblivious, albeit in the completely opposite direction.
The penny dropped for Ryuji as soon as she said that. "Ah shit, not again..." He mumbled, looking ready to crawl into a hole where he'd be too underground to leak sh*t.
"Hold on..." Morgana had been weirdly quiet during the rest of their talk, but now he was looking at Makoto, gears turning in his head. "Maybe we've already got our infiltration point down..."
"Uh... your cat's looking at me weird, is it hungry or something?" Obviously, Makoto was missing the key information that was 'That cat can f*cking talk.'
Ignoring her question, Ren shifted his gaze to the cat and cocked his head a bit in questioning. "We do? Wait, did you think of something, Morgana?"
Scott, on the other hand, was Skeptical. "I dunno what we could possibly do, we weren't walking ATMs the last time I checked."
"Walking... what?? Are you two feeling okay? Is it the stress making them snap, or were they already crazy...? Wozniak-kun I'd understand, but Amamiya-san...?"
"Wait, what's that supposed to mean?!" Exclaimed Scott.
"Focus, Wozniak!!" Morgana yowled up at him, before finally getting to his damn point. "And it wasn't that only the ATMs can get in, remember? It's only patrons of the bank, and that's exactly what Makoto is after what just happened! Since she's the one that actually owes money though, that means we'd have to take her into the Metaverse to actually gain access..."
Ren nodded. "I don't think that's a problem. Hey, Makoto?"
"...What?"
"You wanted to know what our M.O. was, right? Now's your chance to find out."
She blinked. "Wait... why now?"
"Yeah, this isn't the kinda M.O. you can just explain, for frankly way too many reasons. What we're really asking is for you to come with us." Scott explained. Seriously, he had no idea how anyone could possibly put any of what they do into any words.
"...I'm listening. Actually, first, where are we even going?"
To answer that, Ren pulled out his phone and opened the Metaverse Navigator, causing the world around them to ripple when he tapped on Kaneshiro's palace in the search history.
"We aren't going far, don't worry."
When the distortion finally settled down into its form as a money-bleeding Shibuya, Makoto was, to put it nicely, taken aback by the forms everyone had changed into.
"A-a kitsune mask?! Wait... is that you, Kitagawa-kun??" She cried.
Fox nodded back to her. "It's Fox here, but yes."
Mona marched up to Makoto, asserting his dominance as the strategist. "Hey, don't make too much of a racket! We haven't seen any shadows down here yet, but that doesn't mean there aren't any outside of the bank!" He hissed.
That, of course, only made Makoto cry out louder. "A monster cat?!?!"
"I'm NOT a cat! I'm no monster, either!!!" Yeah, Mona was getting pretty loud there himself. So much for being quiet...
"If you call him one for long enough anyways, he'll give up on trying to correct you." Duel pointed out. "I dunno why he insists on not getting called that most of the time though, he's literally the cat Joker smuggles everywhere he goes."
"Wozniak-kun?? Wait, what are you wearing?!"
"You're only asking me that?!"
Makoto stopped, and took a deep breath. "No, hold on, I need context. One, when did you all change clothes without me noticing? And two, what does that have to do with changing people's hearts???"
Finally, Joker stepped forward to do some actual exposition. "Not a lot, if I'm honest with you. Niijima-san, do yourself a favor and turn around."
"Why, what's behind- o-oh my goodness..."
While Makoto looked skeptical for a moment there, she turned around anyways. And when she did... well, it was most likely one hell of a sight to behold for someone that wasn't already used to sh*t like this.
Of course, there was the foggy green sky, the walking ATMs, even the piles of their overdrawn corpses, and the money Roomba the bank itself sat on was very conveniently right above the station square at that moment. Which was to say it was ripe for the looking, especially from their current position.
"It's in the air?! But what could possibly have enough thrust to suspend a large building in the sky like that?? Why isn't it making a deafening amount of noise, for that matter?!"
That's what she's worried about here?!
Joker put a hand on her shoulder to keep her from going on any longer about the physics of a f*cking money Roomba.
"This is basically the world according to Kaneshiro. A reflection of what's in his heart, if you want to be poetic about it." Which Joker always did. "We steal the treasure that represents the source of this distorted reflection, causing it to fall apart and inducing a change of heart in the target. That's our M.O." He explained.
"A distorted... reflection...?" Makoto muttered, still staring up at the bank. "Wait, you mean your methodology is to directly target one's cognitive distortions that correlate to their personal justifications for being evil-hearted, in some physical manifestation of their psyche?"
Duel was taken aback by this unprecedented speed. "Wait, you already know about this stuff?!"
She blinked. "What? No, those are concepts in psychology that seemed like they fit the situation."
Wait, like... real concepts? Did the Persona 5 devs seriously pick up a psychology textbook and decide 'yeah we'll make a game outta that?!'
"Finally, someone who isn't a total moron!" Mona mewed, before... bending over? It was difficult to tell for sure, given his form factor. "...Please join our team."
Is he bowing?!
"W-what?!" That seemed to really shake Makoto up again. Just like a minute before, this was one hell of a scene to any non-Phantom Thief, so Duel couldn't blame her for not knowing what to say to the living miniature mascot suit asking- no, begging her to become a criminal so that he wouldn't need to deal with as high of a 'moron' ratio anymore.
"Uh, I don't think we should be bringin' in someone who ain't already a persona-user." Somehow, Skull was acting as the voice of reason twice in one evening. Yeah, Duel couldn't believe it, either. "Wouldn't she just get herself killed if she actually tried to fight a shadow?"
"Persona...? As in, Jungian psychology? That would certainly fit the fact that you apparently fight shadows..." Makoto started, but cut herself off when she realized she was getting distracted. "Anyways, I'm not completely defenseless. I've actually taken Aikido, believe it or not!"
"No, Skull's right..." Groaned Mona. "what's next, Mementos having decent air?!"
"We can go find out after we complete this mission. Remember, we've got people we need to protect, not to mention those that could gain their own courage from our work." Thank f*ck Joker was around, since they'd be here squabbling all day otherwise. Plus, he was goddamn right!
Makoto stared at Joker... though it also seemed like she wasn't actually staring at Joker. It was more like... she was staring at someone else she was seeing in him. Metaphorically, of course. A setting like the Metaverse sorta guarantees that I feel like I need to specify that.
Point is, she was staring at that metaphorical person in him, so affected by it that she was commenting on it with barely more than a whisper.
"You sound... just like dad..." Breathed Makoto.
"Hm? Sorry, did you just say something?"
Guess Joker hadn't heard her. At a volume like that, he'd basically need to be right behind her to make out what she had said, and that spot was already taken by Duel.
She shook her head, getting back to business (and to a normal volume) in record time. "...It's nothing. Ready for me to attempt to get into that bank?"
...You know, the more I watch the Phantom Thieves, the more it sinks in just how cool they are. I mean, they're fighting off societal bullsh*t with entire dudes as their weapons of choice?! That's badass!!
Is this why Anna was so dead-set on me seeing this game...?
Not that that makes my situation any better, though.
The bank had actually come to them as soon as Makoto hailed it like it was a goddamn taxi. While the walkway that extended down to the sidewalk when it got close was kinda long, it was also the perfect opportunity to get their escort quest... escort up to speed on their codenames, as well as a few more details on what the hell this place was.
"Just like I thought..." she muttered when they finally got to the bank itself. "I've got the same identity as one of the 'cognitive beings' here, as you put it. So when I requested to be picked up, it responded like it would for any of these... patrons."
They'd briefly gone over a plan on the walk up, if you could call it that. Basically, since Makoto was considered a customer, they had to go in through the front door like not-thieves so that she could keep up appearances. It wasn't like they could risk letting her go in separately, especially not without a persona.
"Well, I guess we're pretty much patrons while we're tagging along with you... and I already deal with enough bullsh*t from one bank." Duel lamented with a sigh. Turned out he couldn't escape the iron grip of debt even when he had involuntarily fled the country.
"Wait, this isn't the only one you deal with, Duel?" Asked Panther. She was looking over at him, looking a little concerned.
"We can talk about Duel's weird life later." Joker said, bringing them back in focus on their objective. "After we make sure we can get in and out of this bank, to be specific."
From the front of the group, Makoto exhaled with the slightest hint of some shakiness. "Right... after we go into a bank in another reality seemingly layered on top of our own and make sure that you all can get in and out of here anytime, so that your group of teenage thieves can change Kaneshiro's heart and erase my three million yen debt. No big deal, right??"
...That wasn't sarcasm, believe it or not. She sounded like she was nervous... not of getting f*ckin' murdered in another reality, mind you, she was clearly more nervous about being able to actually help the Phantom Thieves.
She's the human equivalent of grabbing the 5 Rupees next to Zelda before you rescue her in Link to the Past...
As soon as they entered, they were immediately questioned by two guards. Given the fact that about 86% of them were dressed as fancy but literal bank robbers, that made a lot of sense. At first they demanded that Makoto make an appointment before getting to see the bank's president, but somehow they were blessed (loosely speaking) by Kaneshiro's voice over the intercom saying to let them in.
The guards looked pretty confused, but went along with it. Their group was shuffled into a meeting room under the very careful watch of the weird-looking guards (even by palace standards, thanks to their SWAT-esque gear and fly-looking masks.)
Once they were inside, they were greeted by a mountain of cash just... sitting on a table.
It was a pretty obvious trap, but of course Skull was ogling it anyways. "Damn, any place I ever ate at would pretty much be all-you-can-eat if I had money like this..." He muttered, clearly trying to resist the bait.
Fox nodded, similarly entranced by it. "The art supplies I could purchase with funds of this caliber..."
With an incredulous laugh, probably hoping Fox was joking, Panther raised an eyebrow. "You're thinking about art supplies, and not food?"
The moment Skull started reaching out for one of the bound stacks while the rest of the party continued their banter, the intercom crackled to life again.
"I wouldn't touch that, if I were you. Well, unless you want to make Miss Niijima here to owe me even more money. Three million's already a tall ask as it stands, after all!"
That was Kaneshiro's voice, but with an added distorted echo lining up with what they had always heard from shadows at this point. Of course, there was also the obvious fact that he was speaking through an intercom, but the shadow voice filter was the only one you wouldn't find in an average Target.
The TV screen on the wall flickered on next, displaying Kaneshiro's shadow holding the microphone for the intercoms. He was definitely an... interesting-looking shadow. While his outfit was a fairly mundane silver-grey suit, his previously brown hair had turned jet-black and had even added a mustache to his face.
Oh yeah, Kaneshiro was also completely f*cking purple. Like, his skin was a bright violet, instead of any normal kind of skin tone. Which at least contrasted nicely with the glowing yellow eyes that all shadows had.
"Nigh impossible to get in three weeks, I'd say. Though, I could offer you a loan..." He added through a sinister grin. "At an interest rate of ten percent a day, of course."
Skull furrowed his brow and began muttering to himself. "Ten percent a day...? So every day, you'd owe another... uh..."
He obviously wasn't getting anywhere in trying to figure it out on his fingers, so Makoto helpfully supplied the number that almost everyone in the room, definitely including Duel (he swears), had come up with.
"That's another 300,000 yen with each passing day."
Despite the fact that he had totally figured it out for the love of God please believe him, Duel let out a small "ah" under his breath. "Sounds like a pretty sh*t loan, if you ask me."
"In that case..." Kaneshiro smirked. It was a thin, gross-feeling smirk that seriously pissed Duel off. "I think I know just the thing. See, young women of a certain quality are eligible to... work off their debt, if you catch my drift."
"Work it off? You mean by throwing a charity event for murder victims or something?" Asked Duel.
Kaneshiro just sorta stared at him from the other side of the call for a sec. "...No."
"He means something a little more revolting than that." Makoto explained, fists clenched at her sides.
The only thing I can think of that's that revolting is...
As Duel thought about it, his mind went to his trip to Shinjuku the other day, and just how sick he felt before finally escaping back to Leblanc.
...Sex.
"Jesus Christ..." He muttered under his breath.
Upon seeing that Duel had clearly gotten the idea, Makoto nodded to him before turning back to the palace ruler. "Let me guess, that was your idea from the start, wasn't it?" She asked... but it sounded more like a demand, despite the question mark at the end.
That smirk on Kaneshiro's face returned, somehow even more sh*t-eating this time. "My my, impressive deduction... but I suppose I should expect no less from you, Niijima-san. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?"
Makoto's eyes widened, but she was managing to keep her cool. "What do you mean by that."
"Oh, come on, I know you're just playing dumb with me. It's not exactly a far stretch of the imagination to think you're the younger sister of the brilliant prosecutor Sae Niijima, is it? All it took was a quick confirmation from my intelligence network to prove it wasn't coincidence." He let out a low, distorted, and bone-chilling chuckle. "Though, perhaps you aren't playing dumb at all, considering you strolled right in here without thinking I would realize that your 'bodyguards' are merely petty thieves. Females tend to not think of important things like that, they can only do so much compared to a man's intellect."
Duel huffed. "Great. So you're a mob boss, an extortionist, a McDonald's Grimace knock-off, and sexist? What's next on your list of hobbies??"
"Nothing is." After staying quiet for most of the conversation, Joker spoke up. Clearly, he'd heard enough. "You won't be doing anything to Niijima-san when we change your heart, Kaneshiro."
"Don't make me laugh. This bank has top-notch security that I invested in myself... with the money of others, of course. Nothing you cat burglars could try will even make a dent in a fortress like this! Actually..." The palace ruler reached over to another button on his intercom system, without putting the Phantom Thieves on hold or anything. "Why don't I give you all a demonstration? Guards, move to conference room A and teach these punks a lesson!"
Within seconds, three guards popped up into the room. Three, uh... very strong-looking guards, especially as they revealed their true forms as huge, muscular demons.
Obviously undeterred, Joker summoned his knife and got into a battle-ready stance. "Let's take them out and go!"
"We don't plan on letting a buncha punks keep us from following the President's orders to get rid of ya!" One of them spat back.
"Actually, uh, don't harm Niijima-san. She's valuable." Kaneshiro quickly clarified.
"...We don't plan on letting a buncha punks keep us from following the President's orders to take most of you out!"
"Much better."
Orders schmorders, in Duel's opinion. He was honestly kinda itching to do combat again after such a long period of lead-up, so it was pretty satisfying to summon his whackin' cane and clock one of 'em on the head.
...Which barely even scratched it. Dammit.
"Looks like they've got a resistance to physical attacks, we'll have to rely on our personas for this!" Mona called over. Though he was a little too late to be helpful, of course.
"Dammit, we're gonna have to use 'em over and over again?!" Groaned Skull, while he was finding out the hard way that gunshots were just as ineffective. "I mean, I'm gonna be exhausted after just these two guys... guess I'm bracing myself!"
Over in what was essentially the eye of the storm (since both the guards and the Phantom Thieves were carefully keeping her out of the crossfire), Makoto shouted over to him.
"Are you serious, Skull?! You might as well be letting yourself be killed, if that's your strategy! If using these "personas" takes so much effort, then the only thing we can do here is retreat!"
Jesus Christ, is she scolding us for not realizing that?!
After taking a moment to think (and to dodge another enemy attack), Joker nodded in agreement. "She's right, we aren't gaining anything by insisting on a victory in this case. Let's run before backup gets here!" He ordered, before taking Makoto's wrist and making a run for the door.
Instead of chasing after them or anything useful like that, the guards apparently opted to start talking into their little communication radios. Yeah, that weirded Duel out, but he decided to focus on getting the f*ck out of dodge instead of questioning it. They made a mad dash for the front door, with Makoto constantly flipping between freaking out and asking frantic questions about their powers. At least she was keeping up with them, instead of getting captured or something...
Anyways, once they actually got to the entrance of the bank again, it became clear why they weren't chased on the way there. Turned out, those guards earlier were calling the backup, letting them know that they were gonna need to block the front. At least, that's what Duel guessed, based on the guards blocking the front when they got there.
"Sh*t... it's the same thing that happened last time!!" He mumbled under his breath, before spinning around and spotting a couple more enemies closing in behind the group. And, of course, Kaneshiro himself walking between them.
They had already seen him on the monitor in the conference room earlier, but he was even more slimy-looking in person. Which was frankly a little impressive.
"Oh, you little punks are in trouble now." There it was, that sickening grin Kaneshiro loved to flash when talking. "Though, you did drop some valuable goods directly into my lap, so I suppose I can give you that much credit. It's worth noting that isn't any sort of monetary credit, don't get it twisted."
"She's not just some object, you pig!!" Panther spat. "And we don't want your credit, anyways!"
"Well, since you asked so nicely... I suppose she isn't."
Makoto's eyes widened. "Does that mean you're calling this debt off?"
"What? No, of course not!" The palace ruler shot her a smug, condescending look as he continued. "I'll just have to use your sister, instead! Honestly though, what an upgrade... it's a shame her moronic little sister threw her own family's successful life away just to save herself." He mimed wiping a tear from his eye, and then went right back to being disgustingly smug. "But since she did, I suppose I can have Sae Niijima as my own personal slave. Until I get bored and sell her off, that is!"
Any color that was actually left in Makoto's face drained. "H-hold on, my sis has nothing to do with this!!"
"Changed your mind, have you? Then you start taking customers tomorrow. If only your father could see you now, right?"
"What...?"
"Oh yeah, a cop by the name of Niijima was actually onto me a couple years back! He was in the way, so... I set up a little accident to swat away his nosy little investigation. Small world, isn't it?" Kaneshiro sounded far too casual for somebody who had just admitted to murder for Duel's liking, and he'd seen officer Steel Wool on trial. At the very least, he somewhat tried to hide what he'd done, but this sick f*ck was just casually admitting to it!
Needless to say, Makoto's reaction to that revelation wasn't nearly as nonchalant. Hell, it wasn't nonchalant at all! She stepped back a bit, her fists clenched at her sides again. "You mean... my father's death was..."
It was insane to think that Kaneshiro was over that topic without even so much as a single serious statement, but here Kaneshiro was, already changing the subject. "But yes, if you begin taking customers tomorrow, you'll earn that three million yen in no time! All you have to do is endure it."
This time, Makoto just silent. Instead, she just stood there, fists still at her sides, and now they were even trembling a little.
"Endure it, they all say... just do what the adults tell me to do, and everything will work out..."
Her voice was only barely louder than a whisper. By now, her calm mask was seriously cracking, letting anger absolutely f*cking radiate around her. Sh*t, she looked ready to rip these guards apart, her lack of a persona be damned!
Either Kaneshiro didn't notice her impending wrath, or he just didn't care. Realistically, him not caring was the more likely option by far. "Exactly. Although, perhaps 'work out' is a generous term, seeing as your life will be ruined by the time your debt's been repaid!"
"Shut up."
"Sorry, what was that? Letting something vulgar like that come out of your pretty little mouth may just tempt me to add another 500 thousand yen... so I must have misheard you, right?"
"I SAID TO SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH, YOU MONEY-GRUBBING SON OF A BITCH!!!"
Whoa, that cussing-out was so powerful, it almost knocked Duel off his feet! No, wait... this isn't Ace Attorney, words alone shouldn't be doing that. But then, what did...?
Once he regained his balance, Duel got his answer. Based on the way Makoto was clutching her head and gasping in pain, there was only one thing this could mean.
For a moment, she looked like she was going to fall to her knees from the pain like most of the other Phantom Thieves had during their awakenings, but instead Makoto pulled her head back up and forcefully steadied herself. So forceful, in fact, that it managed to crack the tile floor under her. A shiny metal mask appeared on her face, featuring an angular design that almost resembled a pair of headlights, which she used both hands to yank off of her.
That pillar of blue flame surrounded her as she screamed from the pain...
But it was almost like Duel could hear a hint of a battle cry in her voice.
Notes:
I should really find out if there's any interviews or anything on how they picked Jungian psychology of all things to base the Persona series on... Duel's reaction was basically the same thing I was thinking in the moment I found that out, lol.
Anyways, this was a fun bit to write, especially since it means we're about to see Makoto's persona... >:)
See you next next week for that, and happy Splatoon 3 release day!! :DOh, and credit for the idea of Kaneshiro being the one behind Makoto's dad's death goes to Eiranerys, author of Ace In The Hole! I've barely hit the tip of the iceberg of that fic, and it's already incredible, so go check it out if you haven't already!
Chapter 50: Just Lettin' Bikers be Bikers, Dammit!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Holy sh*t.
Sorry Skull, you and Captain Kidd had a good run, but your position as the one with the coolest persona on the planet had just been dethroned as the blinding blue light finally dimmed enough to reveal Makoto and her Persona.
Her outfit was mostly made up of a grey leather jumpsuit adorned with enough studs and spikes to forge a damn sword out of, especially at the shoulders. A long, darker gray scarf flowed behind her, and while her footwear seemed to be part of the jumpsuit like something out of a superhero comic, the costume designers cleary said 'f*ck it' and had them be steel-toed anyways. The gloves she wore were white and-
Actually, no, I've described Makoto enough. The real star of the show here was her persona, or rather... her motorcycle. Duel blinked a few times to be sure he was seeing it right, but there was no doubt about it. Instead of a more conventional front half, this bike featured a teal face carved into it, like a hood ornament on steroids. The build was far bulkier than the ones Duel had seen playing Ride to Hell: Retribution, but that was clearly because it wasn't meant to simply get you through long stretches of sh*tty driving gameplay before you could get the chance to stop subjecting yourself to Ride to Hell. No, this bike was meant to power through whatever was in its path, and if you happened to be too slow to get the f*ck outta the way, then... sucks to be you, I guess!
Everyone else was similarly amazed, with the exception of Kaneshiro and his men, who were quaking in their boots.
"That's... her persona...?" Fox breathed in amazement.
Christ, Duel could smell the artistic inspiration that guy was getting right now. That said, he didn't let that stop him from delivering a snappy one-liner.
"Now that's a custom hog, if I've ever seen one!" He said with a grin.
Makoto shook her head. "No, it's more than custom... now I get what you all were saying, about being 'persona-users.' This power is mine... actually, it's far more accurate to say that this power is me." She revved the motor a couple of times, and set her sights on Kaneshiro and his two guards. "GUN IT, JOHANNA!!!" She exclaimed, and the bike blasted off in their direction.
Finally, Kaneshiro managed to un-sh*t his pants and shout at his guards. "If you don't kill those thieves, you'll be the ones winding up dead, understand?!"
...Once he had barked out that order, he backed well out of their way (and out of the line of fire, of course).
Meanwhile, as the guards ran towards the oncoming motorcycle, Makoto f*cking did it. She went into a sharp turn, instead making the bike slide forward on its side, knocking both shadows off their feet and sending the two of them through the air and into the wall behind them.
And she didn't get her position in the level reset in the process?! That's insane!!
Once she was back in a neutral position on her bike, Makoto calmly addressed Kaneshiro again. If you still counted it as calm when thinly-veiled rage coated every word. "I'm never gonna slow down for people who just want to use me again. That's not who I am, and it never WILL be!!"
"Uh, Makoto?" Joker calmly chimed in, although he did sound a little nervous. "I'm really very happy for you, but this may be something that's best to talk about once we've actually escaped the palace."
She looked back at Joker, then at the guards, at Kaneshiro, and back to Joker again. It was obvious that she wanted to stay and tear several new ones, but her strategic side realized that he was right about a tactical retreat.
"This isn't over." Makoto growled at Kaneshiro, who was somehow not nearly as scared as he was a moment ago.
"You keep telling yourself that, little girl." He replied with that slimy grin, though his composure wasn't completely restored yet.
With a huff and a couple more revs, Makoto turned her bike around and sped off in the direction of the door. The Phantom Thieves all had good enough reflexes to jump out of her way, but the same couldn't be said about the guards blocking their exit. They all toppled like bowling pins as Makoto drove home a strike worthy of being announced by the Wii Bowling voice. You know the clip. Anyways, her persona quite literally burst through the front doors, leaving a sizable hole around the frame and making them clatter on the ground outside. Thank God the ramp they had come up on was still there, since she would otherwise just be driving off a f*cking cliff.
Jesus, she was fast on that thing... and the others couldn't afford to slack off in catching up to her. Thankfully, Mona stepped in with a solution while the guards were still dazed.
"Morgana... TRANSFORM!!!" He exclaimed, poofing into his Monabus form. "Get in!"
The rest of Fox's face paled, almost matching his white mask. "The most difficult challenge of all..." He mumbled, begrudgingly getting in the back.
Duel, meanwhile, took his position in the driver's seat. "Everybody better buckle in as I drive, or I swear to f*ck, I'm gonna turn this bus around!!"
"You're gonna WHAT?!" Cried Skull.
Every Phantom Thief that wasn't currently a motor vehicle very quickly got their seatbelts locked down tight.
Thankfully, everyone got back out of the Metaverse alright. Everyone was pretty exhausted after a scene like that, but Makoto was even worse off based on how she was panting as she caught her breath at the Shibuya Station walkway "hideout."
"That... was incredible." She said, finally getting herself to stand up straight again. "I don't know how long it's been since I last felt this good, actually!"
"Yeah, 'cause you were incredible!" Ryuji exclaimed, loud enough to make Makoto flinch.
"I'm also exhausted, Ryuji. I'd rather not get a migraine to deal with tonight from you shouting directly into my ear, thank you very much."
"Shit, sorry." He took it down a couple notches.
Scott shrugged. "He may be loud, but he's also right. That was pretty badass, Makoto!"
With a look that somehow made Scott feel like he'd done something wrong, Yusuke piped up. "Shouldn't you be referring to her by her last name? I know you prefer to be referred to as Scott no matter who is speaking to you, but that's not universal."
The third-year put up her hand a bit, gently stopping Yusuke's friendly reminder. "It's alright, Kitagawa-kun. To tell you the truth, now that we've been through what is possibly Hell and back together, I think all of you can call me by your first names if you wish to."
"Nah, Hell's totally different. Saw it once when I left a reminder on my finger way too long, not nearly as many chambers of eternal torment as you'd need to fit the description." Said Scott. For a second there he had this haunted look on his face, but it quickly changed to a grin. "But thanks for letting me totally disregard the local etiquette by letting me use your first name!"
"If I give you permission, you're technically still following it, Scott." Makoto replied, returning his grin with a smaller smile. "And it's the least I can do to thank you for showing me how to finally figure myself out. I've been thinking about how much I follow orders, and the harm it causes, ever since Kamoshida confessed... for far too long, I was uncertain of if I'd ever muster up the strength to break myself out of that obedience, but now here I am. Standing proud, with nothing but an open road of possibility ahead of me."
Scott nodded sagely. "Two fists, two wheels, no rules."
"Yes... I like that description. Although, that isn't to say I plan on beating people to a pulp for superfluous reasons in the real world."
Wait no, that's not a game to get your tagline from!! That's gonna be so embarrassing for her when she finds out...
Or not. Since she isn't real.
"Uh, you mean you aren't gonna beat people up in the real world at all, right?" Asked Ann, while taking a tiny step back from Makoto.
Yusuke shook his head in disbelief, as well as in response to Ann. "Something tells me she's the sort of person to state exactly what she means, no more and no less..."
"I can almost sense her power, even outside of the Metaverse..." Breathed Morgana.
Finally, Ren decided this conversation had been off track for far too long. Which he was absolutely right about. "Maybe we should quit pestering her for a bit. Awakening a persona takes a lot of energy, and all of us are going to need every bit we can get for this mission. Speaking of which..."
He held out a hand for Makoto to shake.
"Would you like to join the Phantom Thieves and help us take Kaneshiro down? We're going to need all the help we can get against that bastard, to be frank."
Makoto stared at his hand for a moment. "...And if I refuse?"
"Why ask? You look like you've already made up your mind."
There was a tense moment (that felt more like an eternity) of silence, before she chuckled and shook on it. "You've got a keen eye, Amamiya-san."
"We'll be happy to have you, then." He said with a smile. "And just call me Ren. Like you said, Hell and back."
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
Ren added Makoto to the group.
[Makoto] Evening, everybody. Did you all get back home safe?
[Scott] Does coming back to a backed-up pile of dishes to clean count as safe?
[Makoto] Yes, it does.
[Ryuji] yea im back now, dw!
[Ryuji] jfc though you still sound so professional?? loosen up, man!
[Makoto] I text this way to everyone. Is there a problem with that?
[Ryuji] holy shit howd you make that sound so threatening.......
[Makoto] Good, then there shouldn't be any issues.
[Ren] Makoto, I don't think anyone here will really judge you for your typing style.
[Ren] That said, I also want to emphasize that there's no need for etiquette if you'd prefer to type casually.
[Scott] Honestly, im guessing thats what ryuji was trying to say to begin with
[Scott] The texting style here is sorta all over the map, and even proper punctuation is included in that party!
[Makoto] Ah, that makes more sense.
[Makoto] Sorry, Ryuji. That was harsh of me.
[Ryuji] seriously, dont sweat it!!
[Makoto] Alright, I guess I won't.
[Makoto] Moving on... it's quite ironic that I'm part of your team now, isn't it? Until this moment, I was at odds with your group.
[Makoto] Not only that, but my sister is actually on the team investigating the Phantom Thieves. In fact, she's close to leading it.
[Makoto] If she found out one of her targets was just in the other room, she'd probably faint.
[Yusuke] That is quite the contrast...
[Ann] definitely... but uh, should we be worried abt that? o_o
[Makoto] I don't have access to her files, but I highly doubt it. No investigation could possibly locate a trail to another reality like that without the help of someone that already knows about it. After all, the only reason I ever found out about the Metaverse was because you all chose to tell me yourselves.
[Makoto] And besides, I somehow knew I wouldn't see eye-to-eye with her forever. Hearing my persona's voice just solidified that for me.
[Yusuke] You're finding your own style. Not just in the art of Phantom Thievery, but also in life itself.
[Scott] If everyone were the exact same person, life would be boring as f*ck
[Scott] Thats what RNG is for!
[Ann] yeah, don't be afraid to be who you really are! even tho it's real easy to lose track sometimes...
[Makoto] You're all so supportive... thank you.
[Makoto] I'm inexperienced, but I'll do my best to not drag you all down.
[Ren] Don't worry, we'll show you the ropes. :)
[Ryuji] if anything youd probably launch us all forward with that sickass bike of yours!
[Ryuji] like that old song... im a phantom, on a steel horse i ride...
[Makoto] One, that's not the lyric.
[Makoto] Two, I'm definitely not a cowboy (the correct lyric), nor am I "wanted."
[Makoto] It's a good thing I already have a motorcycle license in the real world, though. Otherwise, I would have no idea how to even drive Johanna.
[Ren] Using a persona is surprisingly intuitive, believe it or not. You'll see when you get a chance to use her more.
[Ren] That said, real-world experience certainly doesn't hurt.
[Yusuke] That, and your sharp intellect will most certainly come in handy. Oftentimes, we encounter security systems that function like puzzles that must be solved before proceeding.
[Ann] lol Scott, it looks like your title of puzzle master is getting challenged!
[Scott] I'm not worried. I've got Years of experience playing puzzle games under my belt, i Got this!
[Makoto] I don't plan on going down without a fight, you know.
[Scott] Besides, wouldnt you be more suited to being some kinda strategist?? Just remember how you were chewing out ryuji earlier for being a dumbass
[Scott] I was never an RPG fan, which Obviously extends to tactical RPGs, which Obviously means i dont know sh*t about strategery.
[Makoto] "...Strategery?"
[Ren] He's right, though. I may be the leader, but you're smarter than me.
[Ren] You'd be great as an analyst, and as someone to look over my own plans if the need arises.
[Yusuke] My thoughts exactly, Ren.
[Ann] and you're another girl on the team! :D
[Ann] thank god, the testosterone ratio here was getting overwhelming... 4 guys and 2 girls is still pretty unbalanced, but it's a huge improvement!
[Ryuji] 4? aint there 5 of us guys?
[Ann] I mean yeah, but Morgana isn't as obviously male...
[Makoto] The name Morgana most likely originates from Morgan le Fay of Arthurian legend, who is female.
[Scott] If morgana is anything that isnt male, hes Probably a van
[Ryuji] as a gender??
[Ren] Regardless of what the mysterious human form of Morgana's may present as, he currently identifies as male.
[Ann] okay then yeah 5 to 2 guy to gal ratio!
[Ann] speaking of... Makoto, can we talk after school tomorrow?
[Makoto] Really? I mean, of course I can, but what's this about?
[Ann] I don't wanna go into it around the others but
[Ann] I can still say it's something specifically about the two of us.
[Ann] well, not exclusively, but still mostly between us...
[Ryuji] damn, sounds scandalous...
[Ann] it's not!!!!
[Ryuji] are you gonna ask her for exam answers or somethin?? cause now that shes all rebellious i was thinkin about asking abt that...
[Ann] jeez, of course THAT'S what you meant...
[Makoto] No. You're just cheating yourself out of a quality education when you try to pass that way.
[Ryuji] some things never change i guess..........
[Scott] Eh, educations overrated anyways
[Ann] but yeah lol just meet me after school tomorrow Makoto :)
[Makoto] Will do. Do any of you need anything before I go to bed?
[Scott] What are you gonna do, tuck us in via text?
[Ren] There's no need to do anything for us, other than getting a good night's rest for the sake of the mission.
[Makoto] That makes sense...
[Makoto] Sorry, I just still feel bad for dragging you all into this.
[Ryuji] we couldnt change shit in kaneshiro without you so
[Ryuji] i think we're kinda supposed to be thanking you??
[Ren] More than that, we couldn't help any of his victims without you doing what you did.
[Ren] ...Just don't do something that risky again from here on out.
[Makoto] Hah, thank you...
[Makoto] I'll try not to.
[Scott] Guys are you going to bed or not. Im trying to sleep, but my phone's blowing the f*ck up!!
[Ryuji] shit, our bad
[Ren] Heh, good night, everybody. :)
[Ren] Makoto, let us know how the Metaverse fatigue is by tomorrow.
[Makoto] I will, good night!
[Makoto] And thank you all again.
[Scott] I swear to f*ck if you guys start this sappy sh*t up again
--END LOG--
Notes:
I Would type smth longer here but the splatfest just started and I gotta get goin' on that!!
See ya next next week, and go team grub!!! :D
Chapter 51: Scott the Woz Hauls a Bag of Dirt
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/21-DAYS UNTIL PICS LEAK:18--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
After everything that happened in Kaneshiro's palace, Makoto was (understandably) still exhausted. While she clearly felt bad for 'making them wait for her,' Ren had made sure to let her know in the group chat that it was nothing to worry about.
That said, this meant that Scott's afternoon was wide open. Ren was over doing a session at Maruki's office, and he didn't really know what to do with that independent time.
Might as well get a snack while I think it over...
While Scott's intention was to take the stairs down to the first floor from the second (where the school store was), his path was blocked by... a bag of dirt?
Wait, no, there was also someone carrying the bag! Someone familiar, actually... she was facing away from Scott so that she could slowly drag the soil up the flight of stairs, but that head of auburn floof was pretty hard to miss.
"...Haru?"
She perked up and turned around at the sound of her name, letting the heavy bag rest on the step. Thankfully, it didn't slide all the way down and ruin Haru's effort.
"Ah, Wozniak-kun! Please don't mind me, I'm sure I can clear this flight of stairs in a few minutes if I really give it my all!" Haru said with a smile.
...Well, Scott didn't want to sound presumptuous, but that didn't sound likely. The size of that bag next to Haru's slim frame seemed... disproportionate. "You sure you don't want help with that? That looks heavier than a Panasonic Q." He leaned to the side to get a better look. The bag said it weighed 20 kilograms, which... didn't help Scott's American ass at all.
It took her a moment of hesitation to think it over, but she eventually gave up on hiding her struggle. "Alright... but only if helping me won't do anything to inconvenience you."
"Eh, my only plans for the day were to not get murdered, so I can probably squeeze this in." With the whole asking thing now being out of the way, Scott walked around Haru and lifted up the opposite end of the bag. She hadn't picked the other side back up yet, so Scott got to feel exactly how heavy 20 kilograms is.
...No f*cking way.
"Hey, Haru... was anyone else helping you get this up before now?" Scott couldn't even take his eyes off the bag as he asked that.
"No, it's just been me... are you alright, Wozniak-kun?"
He didn't have the answer to her question, so Scott just asked another one of his own. "And you brought this up from the first floor, right? Like, you got to the stairs and almost up to the second floor. Carrying this. By yourself."
"Yes...? It's been difficult, but I'm managing. If you'd like to back away from helping me get this to the rooftop garden, I'm sure I'll be alright."
When Scott finally managed to look away from the little '20kg' written on the bag and back up at Haru, she had a very concerned look on her face.
"N-no, that's not what I meant! It's just, you... you're..." Despite making a valiant effort, Scott couldn't figure out how to tell her that she may or may not have superpowers or something. Finally, he groaned and gave up. "Never mind, let's just get this thing moving."
Finally, after literal minutes of back-breaking work, the two of them made it up to the rooftop. It went pretty fast compared to Haru's speed earlier, but it wasn't exactly an easy kinda fast. The bag of dirt hit the surface of the roof with a satisfying SMACK, and Scott instantly slumped forward and put his hands on his knees while gasping for breath.
"Are you sure you're alright, Wozniak-kun? You're sweating a lot... perhaps removing that hoodie would help?"
Scott's eyes widened, and he shot back upright in a panic. "NO! I can't, I refuse to visibly wear a polo."
...For some reason, Haru still looked incredibly concerned. "Really...? Perhaps you could rest for a minute up here with the hoodie off, and put it back on when you've cooled off enough to bring up another bag? I don't think anyone else will be visiting the roof, so I'd be the only one seeing... you in a polo."
Well, I guess losing a layer would be a good idea, but I can't just let a terrifying sight like that... wait, did she just say another bag?!
It was one f*ck of a delayed realization, but Scott noticed how many empty pots were up here. It was a lot, definitely more than one bag's worth of soil.
Yeah, his options here were obviously slim. If he didn't cool off now, he'd be getting a new friend by the name of heatstroke.
"Guess I have no choice..." Scott muttered, before looking back at Haru. "It's a pretty scary thing to see, are you sure you're gonna be able to stomach it?"
She hesitated for a moment, no doubt carefully thinking it over, and definitely not slightly shocked about how weird a disclaimer this was. "...I think I can handle it?"
"Alright... don't say I didn't warn you."
After taking a deep breath, Scott pulled off the light blue hoodie he always wore and tied it around his waist. Underneath that extra layer was...
...Literally just a scrawny white guy in a polo.
And damn, Haru was right about it really helping with the sweat he'd worked up just a moment ago. Not only that, but she was taking the glimpse into a Wii Play Motion-less timeline surprisingly well.
"Thankfully, we only have two more bags to bring up! If you think you can handle two more after a break, that is..." Said Haru, completely unphased by the horrors.
If he was able to take five between the other two bags, then... "Yeah, I can do that!"
It's not like I can just leave her to carry this sh*t by herself, not helping might get me charged with manslaughter with bags that are that heavy...
-EVENING-
By the time Scott got back to Leblanc, Ren and Morgana were already back. Guess those short breaks between bags got to be a little longer than necessary... but in his defense, Haru was someone Scott found to be really fun to talk to! She had already been tending to the plants outside Shujin, but now she was expanding to add a vegetable garden on the rooftop. Unfortunately, there wasn't enough room in a pot to try and grow pumpkins... and believe me, Scott checked.
Anyways, once everything was brought up, Haru requested that they exchange contact info in case she found herself needing a second person to help her with a gardening task or something, and Scott went ahead and obliged. He was looking for some way to get up and out there now that the Jillian Michaels on Wii wasn't an option.
...That, and there was also the fact that Haru sorta reminded Scott of Terry Lesler. She was a quiet person with fluffy hair and a vegetable garden, they had so much in common that she was practically a clone of Terry!
Anyways, Morgana looked up and greeted Scott from his spot on Ren's head, who was in turn sitting on the couch. "Welcome back! Jeez, you look wiped... you didn't go to the Metaverse alone or something, did you?"
"What? No, I was just helping a friend with some really heavy dirt."
Ren looked up from the book he was reading, probably some old novel about a gentleman thief that shared a name with his persona in what had to be some kinda freak coincidence.
"Dirt...? You mean, in the gossip sense?" He asked.
"Nah, this was closer to being in the dirt sense of the word." Finally, Scott got to take off his book-filled bag and sit down. "Not entirely, though... we also carried up the bag the dirt was in."
"Huh... who would be hauling around dirt, though...?" Morgana wondered aloud.
"You guys don't know her, she was on my cleanup team back at the park. I mean, that'll probably change, but whatever."
Since Scott had mumbled that last bit, Ren looked over at him and cocked his head a bit. "Hm? I didn't catch that last part."
"It's nothin'."
No point in bringing it up when we aren't gonna even be adding her this round...
The current trend seemed to be that (except for the very first palace) one character was added to the team with every new arc, which meant Haru was probably gonna be brought in on the next one. I mean, they were already aware of Makoto's existence by this point in the last arc's progression, so Haru must be the same way, right?
...Well, unless a totally new character pops up out of nowhere. But that's obviously not gonna happen.
Back in the present, Ren simply shrugged and went back to his book. "I won't pry, then." He said.
Thank Christ I get to be stuck with the chillest protagonist on the f*cking planet...
...Speaking of which.
"Ren, isn't your neck sore from holding Morgana up there for who knows how long?" Asked Scott.
The guy looked up from his book again, thought about how to answer, then looked back down. "...Yes."
Despite that answer, Scott couldn't see a single sign of moving to remove the cat from its nest of messy hair. "...Are you gonna tell him to get off of there?"
"Nah."
"Why not??"
"I can't bring myself to ask him to move when he's in this form..."
Of course, Morgana didn't take that as a signal to hop off of Ren's head, and instead took it as a signal to pout. "Well, at least you didn't directly call me a cat there..."
--6/22-DAYS UNTIL PICS LEAK:17--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
"...Remind me, why are we still using this exposed location as our hideout?" Asked Makoto.
The Phantom Thieves were once again meeting in Shibuya Station, despite saying time and time again that it was admittedly kind of a sh*tty place to use for that. Come to think of it, why hadn't they moved it yet? Yeah, the rooftop risked Haru walking in on their top-secret meetings, but that was one person compared to this ocean of people.
It took a moment for Ren to think of a decent answer. "...We'll change it when we have more time to think about it. For right now, we've got a mission to focus on."
Oh yeah, there's that...
Now that Makoto'd had a chance to rest up, they were planning on heading into the palace. Best-case scenario, they'd be able to enter the bank like they could the other day, and could start sneaking around rather than dicking around in conference rooms and getting cornered the whole time.
Before that, Yusuke brought up something pretty important.
"Is there anything about our methodology that you'd like to clear up before we begin, Makoto?"
"Actually, yes. I noticed an application I didn't recognize on my phone yesterday, I'm presuming that's something to do with you all?"
Scott nodded. "Yep! You put in some words, press a button, and bam. Palace."
"What he means is that it's how we get to and from the Metaverse." Morgana clarified further. "Those 'words' are the keywords associated with the palace, and once you've got those, you just press the button to enter. Plus, there's a search history, so you don't have to type it in every time!"
"I see..." Makoto mumbled, staring down at the app on her home screen. "And there isn't any risk of a data breach, is there?"
...Well sh*t, Scott hadn't thought of that. He turned to the others in an attempt to figure out what they had been theorizing, but it was clear that this was the first time the possibility had crossed any of their minds. Hell, even Morgana was staring at her, unsure of what to say.
Guess she was disappointed, but not actually surprised. Makoto let out a sigh that was somewhere between resigned and exasperated before continuing. "...I don't like the looks you're all giving me, for the record. If you haven't thought about it until now, just admit it instead of wasting time we could be spending on our mission."
"...We haven't thought about it." Ren sheepishly admitted. "But to be fair, I don't think anyone that doesn't have it even knows the MetaNav exists."
"Other than the admittedly fantastical nature of what we're dealing with here, do you have any evidence to back up that claim?"
Thankfully, Morgana put their worries to rest in one fell swoop. "Regardless of if anyone knows about it, this app clearly doesn't function like any other run-of-the-mill app you'd find online. There's no way to be sure, but isn't it just as likely that it doesn't even use servers to begin with?" He mewed.
"That's true..." Makoto put a hand to her chin, giving it some thought. "If this app still functions in the Metaverse, then it may just be entirely offline. I seem to recall there being no signal there, though it's possible that I'm misremembering that."
"And even if it was something that could be hacked into, what can any of us do about that? I mean, shouldn't we focus on the concrete mission in front of us before thinking about stuff that might not even be something to worry about?" Ann added, shrugging a bit for emphasis. For good reason too, since it was a point worth emphasizing.
"Right, of course... thanks for getting us back on track, Ann." Makoto smiled over at her, clearly grateful for that. "You seem to be good at not letting things bother you when there's no need for them to, that's a skill I wish I had..."
"No prob, I'm sure you'll figure it out if you practice!" Of course, Ann smiled back. There had been a bit of residual tenseness between them since the other day, when she snapped at Makoto... but that was suddenly gone today. Huh, did something happen between them...?
But yeah, Ren finally got them back on track track, instead of just on track. "Is everyone ready to head back in?" He asked.
After taking a deep breath first, Makoto nodded. "I suppose I am. Let's go."
Notes:
THAT'S SOME INTENSE DIRT-HAULING ACTION, Y'ALL!!
Jokes aside, it's nice to get some of that Scott & Haru tag content out. They have a pretty fun dynamic both now and in the future, so keep an eye out for more of their friendship! :)
Also Disclaimer: I don't actually know if 20kg is considered insanely heavy, I don't exactly note the weight down whenever I move something heavy and Google was only giving me weight-lifting resources for some reason??? So instead of going out and testing how heavy that is to actually carry I'm just gonna play the fanfic card and say this isn't supposed to be taken seriously (except when it isn't actively inconveniencing me, in which case take it as seriously as ya like)See ya next next week for some palace content finally, and RIP Team Grub :'(
Chapter 52: It Took Five More Chapters to Do It, But We're Finally Getting to the F*cking Palace!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Like Duel had suspected, the money Roomba came to Makoto once again without any problems. There had been some worry among the rest of the team of it refusing to after her display of rebellion the last time she was there, but come on. Why would the palace throw yet another f*cking curveball at them, after they had worked their asses off just to get in? Unfortunately, that meant the long-ass walkway up to the bank itself was still there, too.
To make the trip go a little faster (or at least with a little less boredom), Makoto had taken the liberty of bringing up a pretty good point.
"So... what's my codename, Joker? You thought of one during my downtime, I'm assuming?"
The team leader's stride faltered a little. He hadn't thought about it at all, apparently. "I... actually just let new members choose their own codenames, for the most part. We do tend to discuss it a bit amongst the group before they settle on one."
"I see, that does make sense." She nodded. "Though, I've never been good at naming things... does anyone have any ideas to bounce around?"
"Nibbles." Stated Duel. It was a pretty obvious codename, in his opinion.
Makoto stared at him for a second with an incredulous look in her eyes. "Absolutely not. Does someone else have any ideas?"
Okay, maybe not as obvious as I thought it was... Christ though, she shot that down hard!
"How about Rider? You do ride that sick-ass bike, after all!" Skull added with a big grin.
"That just makes me sound like a smuggler. Next."
"Ah, guess not..." Jesus, she was shooting down ideas so hard it hurt... just the way Skull's face fell was proof enough of that.
Fox looked her up and down, scanning for something that might activate some kind of inspiration. "Spikes or Studs, perhaps? They're a very prominent part of your outfit design, and your mask is a little difficult to think of names for..."
"Not nearly refined enough. Come on, don't you guys have anything better than that...?"
While the other Thieves were throwing ideas at the wall that was Makoto, Joker quietly observed them. Finally, he chimed in with an idea of his own.
"Maybe... Empress?"
That got the group's attention, Makoto included.
"Yes, I like that..." She said, nodding to herself. "It's nearly perfect, actually. There's a certain impression of power you get from it, and not in a thug's definition of the word. But it doesn't sound quite right on the tongue, so..." A small smile, albeit way bigger than her usual, appeared on her face. "Call me Queen instead."
Mona snapped to attention at her decree. "O-of course, Queen!"
Jesus, is she really that intimidating...? Maybe it's the size difference, given how tiny Mona is.
Or I'm just in denial about the fact that I'm intimidated by a character from an anime game right now. One or the other.
Now that that was settled, Queen got down to business. "Alright, can somebody get me up to speed on our strategy for this mission? We're getting close to the palace, so try to sum it up for me."
"The... strategy?" Yeah, Joker was officially 0 for 2 on not getting blindsided by that girl.
Upon hearing that, Queen stopped everyone in their tracks by walking ahead and turning to face them.
"I'm sorry, are you implying that the Phantom Thieves of Hearts... don't plan their missions?!" Her tone was accusatory, but she did also seem genuinely baffled.
Duel crossed his arms. "Hey, we planned one of the heists!"
"This isn't something that you can really plan out... at least, not at the stage we're at right now." Panther told her. "We're going into uncharted territory, so... it's gotta get charted before anything else, you know?"
Finally managing to pull himself together, Joker cleared his throat and took the explanation from there.
"Panther's right. Before the actual heist, we do an infiltration. The main goal is to secure a route to the treasure, but we're also getting a good feel for the palace at the same time. And just as a heads up, it's taken several trips to complete that process in both of our previous heists. Don't feel like you need to overexert yourself, especially as you're still getting used to traversing the Metaverse."
This was all obviously very new to Queen, but she wasn't even taking a second to let that information soak in. It just... made sense to her. She nodded and turned around, and everyone sorta just... awkwardly kept walking. "Understood. In that case, I'm sure I can assist with logistics as we infiltrate. Kaneshiro said he had this place equipped with high-end security measures, but every barricade has some sort of weak point. It's just a matter of finding it and breaking through, in the end."
"Exactly!" Duel chimed in with a big grin on his face. "The 3DS got hacked 'cause some kinda sh*tty ninja game didn't secure their QR code features right, and even if it had, there were tons of other exploits that got found after that!"
"That's an... interesting example, but you're pretty much right on the mark. I commend you on your creativity, Duel."
"Uh... creativity?"
Joker shrugged. "He's always saying stuff like that, I think his brain primarily runs on video gaming trivia."
"You mean yours doesn't?!" Exclaimed Duel.
I mean, I know a lot of people don't play video games, but is it even possible to survive without knowing the trivia...? That's gotta be some kinda terminal disease, probably named something stupid like 'being a normal human being...'
Sh*t, he was getting distracted... he couldn't afford to do that, especially now that they just arrived at the entrance of the palace.
"Guess Kaneshiro isn't in the 'leaving doors open' fandom like the last guy was..." Muttered Duel.
It was the entrance to the palace the last time they were here, but that had changed since then. The huge opening Queen had created for them earlier had been boarded up, and there was a sign up saying that this entrance wouldn't be usable until repairs were done. A small cartoon construction worker (although it also looked an awful like the guards here) on the sign even bowed to the reader, apologizing for the inconvenience.
Mona furrowed his brow, thinking about the situation before them. "There's probably a side entrance somewhere if they're willing to close this one off entirely, but that's far too blatant. We need a way to sneak in now that we're officially infiltrating, and preferably somewhere away from the areas we visited last time, if we can manage it..."
Right off the bat, Duel couldn't spot any obvious entry points that fit the bill. The windows were most likely locked, and they'd just end breaking in from right beside the front door anyways if they went that route. No clearly visible ventilation system, either...
He probably would have kept thinking and staring at that bank forever if he hadn't been distracted by Skull's voice from behind him. "Uh, Joker? I don't think now's the time to appreciate fine art."
When Duel turned around to ask Skull what the actual f*ck he was talking about, Fox was giving him a glare as cold and as sharp as some kinda ice knife. "That's not fine art, and you will not refer to it as such." He said, in a way that almost sounded like he was gonna murder the guy for saying that. "It is a disgusting display of wealth to be rubbed into the faces of his victims. Nothing about it is fine art."
"Jesus Christ dude, I was bein' sarcastic! Calm down!!"
Fox was mostly placated by that response, but stared at Skull for another moment before actually letting it go. "...In that case, I'm sorry for that misunderstanding on my part, Skull. Duel, you look like you have something to say?"
About time someone noticed. "Yeah, what the f*ck are you two even talkin' about?!"
"Just look over at Joker, dude!" Skull motioned over to the Joker in question, giving him a 'dude this is so f*cking obvious I don't know why you thought you needed to ask me to begin with' look.
...He was probably right to be thinking that, but Duel didn't want to admit that. "Eh, figuring sh*t out directly is so last mission. Plus, IGN has reuploaded countless game trailers that they got from Youtube themselves, and they still get tons of views, so it clearly works!"
Enough stalling, though! Joker was standing in front of an absolutely massive golden statue, in the shape of a pig.
I know piggy banks are a thing, but come on. This is way too subtle.
Then again... the more Duel looked, the more it seemed like he was looking at the placard below the statue itself. It was at a very convenient pressing height, which was probably one of the reasons Joker was so interested. That, and the fact that it was obviously a button.
...Well, it's obvious to me, as the guy who's dedicated his life to his one true passion. Which is being a f*cking nerd that is always pressing buttons.
"...You gonna press that, or should I?" Duel asked, like it was some kinda leftover bite of food on someone else's plate. Queen, who had looking for other ways in, overheard that and got a look at the statue's placard herself.
"That is suspiciously button-like..." She said, nodding in agreement. "but how do we know that isn't some sort of hidden emergency alarm?"
Because that would be stupid level design, duh.
Instead of actually saying that out loud, Duel opted for just pressing the button. It was heavy, and took some effort to make it click, but it ended up being worth it when the statue slid back from its normal position. Turned out, it was hiding a secret passageway that seemed to lead into the bank!
For a second there, it looked like Queen's eyes were gonna pop out of her head, but she let out a sigh of relief by the time the entry point was made obvious. "You are so lucky that wasn't some sort of trap..."
"Nah, that's just Duel's weird intuition!" Skull clarified as everyone else gathered around to check out what the puzzle solvers were up to. "No goddamn idea how he does it, though."
"You learn to just go with it eventually." Added Joker. "Anyways, why don't we head inside?"
It took a bit of fumbling around in the dark, but eventually the group managed to get into the interior of the bank. At the end of a fairly long tunnel, Joker had noticed a tiny bit of light coming through a round crack above them, which turned out to be some weird cross between a manhole cover and a piggy bank's stopper.
"Quite on the snout..." Grumbled Fox, as they all crawled back out into the (kinda) well-lit bank.
That pun made Skull look like he was dying inside as he dusted off his leather jacket. "Dude, you should just stick to bein' the art guy..."
"Are you sensing where the treasure is, Mona?" Asked Joker, not wanting to dwell on it.
It took a moment of grumbling to himself, but the cat eventually shrugged. "It's definitely in the area, but I think we're too far away for me to actually get a decent idea where it is. Guess we'll need to search around for a bit, see what I can figure out as we go!"
Queen nodded, while also looking up at the ceiling for some reason. "How close do you need to be for the treasure's location to become apparent?" She asked.
"Uh... it gets clearer the closer I get, but I can usually get a good sense of the general direction even from a pretty good distance. I could probably point you in the direction of a treasure on the opposite side of Shujin, just as an example."
"In that case, we're going down."
Christ, that was a sudden U-turn into pessimism. "You know we can just explore until we figure something out, right? If we gave up that easily, the Thieves wouldn't even have been formed." Pointed out Duel.
That seemed to confuse her for a second, until the realization of what she'd said dawned on her. "I'm saying we're literally going down. This bank seems to only have two stories, Mona would have been able to sense it better if our target was up there. If I had to guess, I'd say that the floating base doubles as part of the building, and that the treasure is in the depths of that area."
...Oh. That... actually made sense? A minute ago, Duel was a little confused about what Queen meant by "logistics," but now that was clearing right up. When his own gamer nerd smarts wouldn't apply, her regular nerd smarts could pick up the slack!
Damn, If only I had her with me on Say That Answer back then...
"So all we gotta do is find the stairs down? Works for me!" Skull said with a grin, and a very clear eagerness to cut the bullsh*t and to get to the f*cking palace already.
"Before that, we should see if we can find a map." Added Joker, currently in the process of thinking of where to start looking. "Any information on the security systems here would be good to have, too... one should turn up if we explore enough, if the general pattern we've seen so far keeps up."
Panther pinched the bridge of her nose, making her mask lift up a bit in the process. "God, I hope it does..."
"Well... if the second floor doesn't have the treasure, maybe it does have maps and sh*t?" Duel said.
With a nod from the leader, the palace exploration finally got itself up and running, officially freed from plot development hell.
"Sounds like as good a place to start as any."
Notes:
Finally, some good fucking palace material. Madarame's was super difficult to convert into writing, but now we're working with an actually decent foundation, babey!!!
Happy P5R port release day (even if Atlus fucked up and got me my Switch copy back on the 17th mwehehehe), and see you next next week!
Chapter 53: ...I'm Running Out of Infiltration-Themed Scott the Woz Quotes to Use For Chapter Titles.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"...You guys think that room's got any important sh*t in it?"
After a bit of fumbling around on the first floor and figuring out how to get up to the second, the Phantom Thieves found themselves face-to-face with a door. Not only that, but this one had the added feature of being held shut by a metal gate. The only other door they'd seen so far with something like that was an elevator down to the basement, which seemed to require a security guard's manual approval to work. This one only had a card reader installed next to it, but come on, of course it was important.
Clearly agreeing with Duel's assessment, Queen nodded and crossed her arms. "No doubt. Only question is, how do we get inside? Has anyone seen any random keycards lying around?"
"If we had, I'm sure it would have been pointed out." Joker said. "But that doesn't mean we can't get in."
"True... but what other ways in are there?"
Before Duel (or anyone else, really) could get looking, a certain not-cat's smug meows helpfully supplied the way forward.
"Rule number one of the Phantom Thieves..." Mona started. "Is that we never use the front door! There's always another way in to use instead, such as the conveniently-located vent right over here."
The voice was actually coming from the top of some sort of cabinet against a wall off to the side, where Mona was already unscrewing the vent grate. Damn, that really was conveniently placed...
"Good work, Mona." Joker quickly flashed him a thumbs-up, and hopped up in anticipation for the way in to open. "Looks like there's a shadow in there, so we'll need to take care of it ASAP..."
"Guard, singular?" Asked Fox. "That shouldn't be an issue with our team, seeing as it's six- sorry, seven members strong."
"That tiny vent sure will be, though..." Duel grumbled.
Somehow, the vent wasn't an issue. You may be thinking about asking me how the f*ck that's possible, which I will answer with a question of my own.
Do the logistics of how seven teenagers and an Ohioan got through a single vent really matter, in the grand scheme of things?
...I can't actually hear your answers as I'm writing this, so I'm just gonna pretend you, dear reader, said 'no' to that so we can move on.
That wasn't to say there weren't any issues, of course. Because it turned out the single guard's true form was a group of four deep red horse dudes with human hands. Apparently they can just consolidate themselves like that. The shadows were still outnumbered, yeah, but the horse dudes were making that up in muscle mass pretty easily. Joker getting the drop on them definitely helped, but this wasn't gonna be an easy battle...
At the same time, there wasn't time to worry about that. When ambushing them, Joker had already tried a curse attack with Arsene, but it hadn't done much damage, so that kinda stunk...
"Mona, identical-looking shadows will have the same weaknesses, right?!" Queen asked in between enemy punches she was blocking. How she was doing that without her arm getting shattered was completely beyond Duel.
The cat nodded, and slashed another one with his sword before elaborating. "And the same resistances, so be careful!"
"So if we can figure out what it is, we can take them all down with it in one fell swoop!"
"What, by tryin' different elements until one just works?! We'll get drained crazy fast if we do that with every buff enemy we come across!" Cried Skull. At least he was managing to not get smacked into a wall this time... "I mean, ain't that sorta what you said last time we were here??"
Queen rolled her eyes. "That wasn't about finding weaknesses, that was about summoning our personas repeatedly!"
"That's the same damn thing!!" Duel exclaimed. "And my brain's a little too busy not dying to pull off any deductive reasoning, thank you very much!"
"Ugh... fine, we'll figure something else out! Panther, can you target more than one shadow at once with your fire?"
"Already on it!" Panther jumped at the chance to figure out where Queen was even going with this, summoning Carmen and leaving all four horse dudes singed. "That firey enough for ya?"
Queen nodded and flung off her own mask, making her persona bike materialize under her. "Thanks Panther, now I can BLOW THEM AWAY!!!"
As her enraged shout filled the room, a ball of blue energy appeared in the center of the group of enemies. It built up in size for a second, before suddenly exploding outwards and hitting all four of them, somehow making the small fires Panther had lit on them flare up again. Between that and the explosion itself, there wasn't much the horse dudes could do against it except die, so they all dissipated into that weird black goop/dust.
Everyone else was pretty amazed, but Mona was especially, staring at the two MVPs of the battle with his jaw dropped.
"The heck was THAT?! The enemy wasn't weak to fire or nuclear, but they reacted like they were anyways??" He cried.
Apparently thinking this was the most obvious thing in the world, Queen shrugged. "I figured if Panther burned the enemies first, which I found out she can do over crepes yesterday, I could exacerbate the resulting burns with my nuclear attacks. Thus, resulting in more damage than what either of us could put out individually."
"I see... I think I understand!" Fox's eyes seemed to light up as he thought about it. "By mixing our attacks like paint of primary colors, we can expand our palette of powerful attacks to include secondary hues! I wonder if there'd be a way to create tertiary colors, in that case..."
"Doesn't seem likely... I can't think of any way to combine three of our elements in ways that would do any more than combining two, like you could with chemical elements. Then again, maybe there's still another kind of attack we haven't discovered yet..."
"While I can't say for sure one way or another, we should probably focus on finding what we actually came in here to look for." Joker said.
Right... they'd been calling him Joker this whole time, but at this point, Ringleader would probably be a better codename. Not that Duel was one to think, but still.
After a cursory glance around, Duel spotted a map, just chilling on the wall. He'd actually almost missed it, since it resembled the kinda map you'd see every day. It resembled a legally-mandated fire escape plan, like what you'd see pinned up in any non-Metaverse building. You know, the thing people usually tune out despite the fact that it's there to potentially save your life. Anyways, he approached it and slid it out of the... uh... What do you call those plastic thingies people mount on walls to hang fire escape maps...? There was no way Duel had any idea, so f*ck it, he's calling it the map holder.
Once it was in Duel's hands, he realized that there were actually two sides to this map, with one side showing the layout of the above-ground bank, and the other detailing what was under it. Sure enough, the basement was way more expansive than an average sublevel would be back in reality, even without the second half of the map there to confirm just how big it really was.
"Yeah, it's definitely a basement treasure this time. First a tower, then a ground-level room, and now an underground one... we're really covering our bases here!"
His comment got the attention of almost everyone else, who all quickly crowded around him to get a good look.
"Seems like it..." Muttered Skull, who was half-distracted as he quickly looked over the side that he could actually see. "Would be great if we could at least get one complete map at the start, though."
Joker nodded in agreement, and took the map from Duel for storage in one of his several coat pockets. "We can still work with this, at least until we get to the cutoff of what this map goes over. If things keep going the way they have been so far, there'll be another one around there somewhere. Now, let's see if we can-"
"Found a keycard!"
While Mona had been absent from the map-seeing group (at least, now that Duel thought about it), he had apparently been searching the rest of the room and simultaneously figuring out the best possible time to interrupt the others. Now that that time had arrived, he was scampering over with the keycard held above his head.
"Well, that answers that question." Seemed the leader had the sworn duty of protecting the sh*t they picked up, since the keycard also went in a pocket on Joker's coat. "Now, the main thing is actually getting to the basement... there doesn't seem to be a way down marked on here, but there's gotta be something."
"I would say that there must be a flight of stairs around here somewhere that we can take, but I doubt things like fire code apply to a place like this." Queen furrowed her brow. "Doesn't mean there isn't some sort of hidden passage, of course."
Duel grinned. "Feelin' lucky tonight, eh? I like it! And I mean, if we keep checking out doors this keycard can unlock, we're bound to get somewhere eventually, right?"
Lo and behold, one of the keycard-required doors led right into what seemed to be a maintenance hatch that opened up right above the roof of the elevator car. With this, they could easily hitch a ride down, while totally circumventing the fact that this thing's only supposed to let employees use it!
Queen shook her head in disbelief. "Duel, I can't tell if you're a genius, or if you're just incredibly lucky."
He shrugged. "If you're playing plinko, those are just synonyms."
"...Lucky it is, then."
"So, what now?" Asked Panther. "Do we just get on and wait for someone to ride down?"
"We can't control the elevator, even from here, so I guess that's our only option." After Joker said that, he quickly got to work in picking the simple padlock that kept the maintenance hatch shut. Oh yeah, didn't Mona manage to teach him how to do that kinda thing, by some kinda miracle? Apparently his teachings had been effective without having any thumbs to actually demonstrate anything, since it didn't take long for the lock to pop open, giving the group access to the elevator underneath.
"You know, it was awfully nice of them to build a bigass elevator that can fit a group of seven people on top of it!" Duel pointed out, noting the fact that it was seriously pretty roomy in here. Sure, the ceiling was a bit low, but it was still about the size of an entire small room.
"No doubt for transporting large stacks of cash that are either being stolen or flaunted, depending on the direction they're going in..." Queen said with a huff. "Then again, I probably shouldn't dwell on it. I'm sure security will only get tighter as we go down, so we'll need to stay focused."
Seemed like Skull was using the spare moment they had found themselves with to polish his mask, using his scarf as the cloth. "Yeah, seems to be the way shit rolls in the Metaverse... anyone got any bets on what kinda effed-up monstrosity Kaneshiro's gonna turn into if we fight him?"
"Sorry, effed-up what? " Queen looked over, a little alarmed. Didn't help that Skull seemed completely oblivious as to why mentioning the fact that boss fights exist here would alarm somebody.
"Effed-up monstrosity, like the bigass tongue demon we had to beat to get Kamoshida's treasure and the floating painting face that was Madarame! It's always at the last minute, guess bein' that shitty means they're pretty committed to staying shitty."
"I am so glad this elevator is taking forever to move, or I wouldn't have time to process that..."
Almost as if Queen saying that had made the elevator realize that it should probably be elevating people, there was a ding below them as someone stepped on. Just in case it wasn't obvious to everyone, Joker put a finger to his lips, in the universal signal for 'shut the f*ck up.'
It seemed that more than one shadow had boarded, which was pretty obvious with the way there was a conversation happening below them that consisted of more than one voice.
"I dunno how it's possible, but the President is even more pissed off than usual today... the hell happened?"
"Oh, you mean when he gave the order to tighten security? Turns out some intruders are actually in here somewhere... could be anywhere, so keep an eye out."
"Mmh... we better find 'em, or we're all ending up dead..."
The sheer irony of the situation was making Skull snicker a bit, after he tried and failed to hold it in. Thankfully, the engines of the elevator kicking on and lowering the car down drowned it out pretty effectively. Hell, even Joker was smiling a bit, although he was managing to keep his composure much more effectively.
...Unfortunately, the engine was also drowning out the rest of the guards' conversation. But hey, now they knew that sh*t was about to get even realer when it came to security!
And that Kaneshiro knows we're here. That's slightly less good to know, but I'll take it.
Finally, the elevator dinged and reopened. Only problem was, that statement only applied to the elevator's doors, which the Phantom Thieves obviously didn't have access to. There was, however, an incredibly conveniently-placed vent right there, which led straight to the rafters of the first basement floor. It was almost like this place was designed for the party to successfully infiltrate for the sake of a compelling story!
Once they had hopped down and made sure the coast was clear, Skull grinned with excitement. "Sweet, we made it down!"
There was a brief moment of silence.
"...Now what?"
Notes:
If you've got any infiltrationy quotes I haven't used yet, feel free to comment 'em. Until then, see you next next week!
Chapter 54: It's Time to Disable the Security Cameras, Did Ya Bring Your DS Stylus?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
So far, the basement infiltration was going smoothly. A knickknack yoinked here, a guard taken out there, all standard stuff. Well, it was until Joker suddenly stopped them.
"Hold on... I'm feeling something." He told them. "Not sure what it is, but specific spots in this hallway are dangerous."
"What, is it some kinda minehall?" Asked Duel.
"No... it's something else."
Queen let out a bemused hum, drawing attention towards her. "Well, Duel isn't wrong, per se. It's a minefield in terms of security, since we'd have guards swarming us at an alarming rate if we don't avoid them."
That... didn't make much sense to Duel. "Are they flare mines, or something?"
"Or maybe like, a flashbang the guards are listenin' out for? Flares wouldn't do shit indoors, ya can't see 'em from a distance down here!" Skull added, clearly excited for the opportunity to say something smart.
Queen simply raised an eyebrow and pointed up at the incredibly visible security cameras.
"...Oh."
"What's the point of putting up a 'smile, you're on camera' sign down here?" Asked Panther, who was pointing out a sign further down at the end of the hall.
"Oh..."
"Comedic effect, I guess?" Was what Duel responded, but that was really just a wild shot in the dark. I mean, it was mostly correct, but that doesn't change the fact that he really had no goddamn idea. There was also the thing under it that contributed to why the f*ck that sign existed, but we'll get there in a second.
After another moment of focusing from Joker, he took a step forward.
"Thankfully, this hall's more blind spot than it is monitored. Follow me, I've got the path down."
One zigzaggy but still really simple path later, they were at the end of the hall. There was a door on their left that led to a pretty big area according to the map, but before that...
"That path's gonna be a pain in the ass to use every damn time we come here, you know." Duel pointed out. It was a truth he knew all too well from stupid Nintendo game experience, and it could only get worse now that there were real legs involved.
Maybe there's a way to skip this puzzle, since we've already solved it once...? If you can really call this a puzzle, that is.
"...I think I figured out what the sign's doin' here."
That had been Skull, who was staring at a small device below the sign. It was a power box protruding from the wall and, well, supplying power. This was made even more obvious by the small label on it that read 'camera power.'
For a second, the rest of the Phantom Thieves were staring at Skull like they had no idea what he meant, so he ended up clarifying.
"It's supposed to be a subtle reminder of where the hell this power box actually is. I know, 'cause I use the same method all the time to make sure I don't forget where my shit is if I'm not usin' it for a bit."
Sorta sounds like an afterthought of an excuse for what was just a visual gag, but alright.
"If this thing's supplying power to those cameras, and they're what's making this hall a pain in the ass to walk through..." Duel started, tracing his eyes up the wall where the cords made their way to the cams as he spoke. "Can't we just shut 'em off?"
"We certainly can!" Mewed Mona, already trotting up and looking through his utility belt, trying to find the right tool for this job. "If I can just get this thing open, I can disable it-"
CRACK!!
...Queen had taken the direct approach of just punching the f*ckin' thing with her brass knuckles.
Well, they aren't brass-colored... maybe steel knuckles is a better term?
Whatever the hell they were called didn't matter, since her approach was incredibly effective regardless. One by one, each camera shut off with a small popping noise, leaving the area totally clear to run around in however they so pleased.
He was stuck staring at the still-sparking power box for a second, but Mona managed to nod after a sec.
"...Yep, that works too. Nice thinking, Queen!"
"Indeed. It's a simple, yet wonderfully elegant solution, if I do say so myself." Fox added with a small smile.
"It worked, that's what really matters here." Stated Queen, in between dusting the power box bits off of her steel knuckles. "That said, it certainly wasn't bad, as far as possible solutions go."
Joker, clearly proud of his team, smiled and retook the lead by motioning towards that door on their left that they'd been ignoring this entire time.
"Let's go put some more elegant solutions to work, shall we?" He said.
This new room was not only large, but multilayered, a bit like an onion, which Duel learned by watching Shrek on his Game Boy Advance like a normal person totally would. Oh, and from using that two-thirds of an onion he had laying around for that failed attempt at clam chowder. And the failed attempt at curry.
...Sh*t, wait, what are we doing here again?
Oh yeah, crimes.
He'd been lost in his own little world for a bit there, and just absentmindedly following everyone else as they figured out what the hell this room was.
When I said it was multilayered, I wasn't kidding. It was split up into three whole levels, with the door the group entered through starting them at the top layer. It held a security room manned by two guards with golden shirts under their bulletproof vests, so they were definitely important... with strength to match. It was pretty difficult to even glean that much from the distance they were forced to keep, thanks to the additional cameras set up around it that were apparently on a separate power supply, but that just made them even more obvious in their importance.
The middle layer wasn't that eventful, aside from a power box that didn't even connect to every security camera surrounding the security room, but the bottom layer more than made up for it. In fact, Duel had zoned back in just in time to see its main feature just a second later.
"Odd..." Queen muttered, looking at the map over Joker's shoulder as she did. "This seems to be the vault door, but the map says there's still more to the palace's layout after this?"
Mona approached the door, eyes closed. "Oh, there most certainly is... I'm starting to get a better sense of the treasure's location by now, but it's definitely not that close. This is probably where the palace depths begin to rear its ugly head!"
"Much like the area in Madarame's palace that was reminiscent of M.C. Escher's work... I shudder to think of what Kaneshiro's will be like." Added Fox, complete with a slight shudder. Damn, he really meant what he said!
Unfortunately, Fox would be stuck shuddering for a while, since they couldn't actually enter the area beyond this point yet. At either side of the door sat a terminal, which were both equipped with keyholes and plenty of warnings in red text about how only authorized personnel were allowed beyond this point.
Fortunately, nobody in that group was good at listening to that kinda thing.
"I'm not seeing any chances at a way around this..." Joker said, putting the map away as he did. "Looks like we're gonna need those keys."
Duel nodded, and motioned back in the direction they came from with his cane. "That's probably what the guards upstairs are there for, then. They definitely look like mini-boss material, even with some puzzle-solving required before you fight them."
"You really do only think in video game terms..." Queen mumbled, almost sounding impressed. Shocked? Eh, it was something along those lines. "I'll admit it, you're probably right about that, but how are we actually going to get to them? There are cameras surrounding the room, and even if we could get in, taking on two 'mini-bosses' at once doesn't exactly sound wise."
Normally, I'd say that varies on a game-by-game basis, but the fact that I may actually be able to die for real here kinda makes it a moot point anyways.
"Yeah, because it wouldn't be wise. What we really need is some way to split 'em up, then we can pick 'em off one at a time!"
"We could probably lure one out, right?" Panther asked, raising her hand slightly. "Then again, with how on-edge the guards are right now, they might see right through us if we aren't careful..."
"We could always put our infiltration on pause for a few days! It'll lull the shadows into a false sense of security, and we'll be totally ready to handle whatever each guard throws at us, you know?" Mona mewed up at them, although he did seem a little bummed about having to just leave like this again.
On the other hand, Queen was more than accepting of this fate. "That sounds like a good strategy, yes... but it's ultimately Joker's call, of course."
Joker seemed to be in agreement as well as he finished thinking it over. He gave the group a quick nod before turning around to head back to the entrance.
"I can already tell, they'll never see it coming."
-EVENING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Makoto] Home at last...
[Makoto] God, I'm exhausted. Though, I'm not as exhausted as I thought I would be after a much longer stay in the Metaverse.
[Ann] yeah, you get acclimated to it pretty quickly! :)
[Scott] At this point, it really just feels like this world but like. Heavier
[Yusuke] I agree, but isn't this unusually fast? It took me quite some time to become accustomed to the oppressive atmosphere of that world.
[Makoto] Maybe it varies from person to person?
[Ren] Or that it's easier if you're not skipping meals constantly in order to buy art supplies...
[Yusuke] I'm not sure how you all expect me to resist beautiful items that can be used to create more beauty... after all, I'm only human.
[Scott] I dont think thats a problem with the human condition, sounds like more of a problem with the yusuke condition.
[Yusuke] Regardless, those mica watercolors were worth every yen.
[Makoto] ...You really shouldn't do that, you know.
[Makoto] Malnutrition may seem like an effective way to budget, but your body will suffer the consequences in your wallet's stead.
[Ren] Trust me, I've tried telling him that, and he's dead set on not listening. Not even Morgana could sway him on it, actually.
[Scott] Someone morgana couldnt wear down??? Pretty sure that's impossible
[Makoto] An unstoppable force vs. an immovable object...
[Ryuji] but hey! now that were all used to the metaverse, we can all head over there anytime we want!! :D
[Ren] Anytime is stretching it a bit, but we certainly won't need to take rest days as often.
[Ren] Maybe while we wait for the guards to get the false sense of security that we're looking for, we can introduce Makoto to Mementos.
[Makoto] "Mementos?" Sounds like another Phantom Thief-specific term.
[Ann] it is! we go there for smaller missions, changing the hearts of people who aren't quite distorted enough to end up with a palace :)
[Scott] Otherwise known as Sidequest Central!
[Makoto] I see, then I'll trust you all to show me how it's done.
[Ryuji] honestly theres not much to show
[Ryuji] head in, find the targets shadow, tire em out and tell em to get their shit together
[Ryuji] and bobs your uncle, thats a changed heart!
[Makoto] ...Who is Bob?
[Ryuji] h. have you never heard that saying before
[Makoto] Ah, perhaps he's someone prolific enough to get a phrase named after him, along the lines of Kobe Bryant.
[Ryuji] no its just. somethin you say
[Scott] How the hell do you know about a sports guy like kony, anyways??
[Makoto] You never cease to amaze me, Scott...
[Scott] Wait huh
[Scott] Whatd i do
[Makoto] Ren, is there anything else I should know about Mementos before we head in?
[Ren] Not really... I'll look over possible targets on Mishima's fansite tonight, and bring them to everyone for approval when we meet up next.
[Ren] Oh, and Mementos is too large for us to just walk around in, so we ride Morgana.
[Ann] wait, did she even see the Monabus? she was ahead of us when Morgana transformed to get us out of Kaneshiro's palace earlier... o_o
[Makoto] So he can turn into a bus, got it.
[Scott] You are taking all of this. Incredibly well.
[Makoto] Reality and logic had already been thrown out of the window ages ago.
[Ryuji] shes got a point there
[Ren] It's going to get bumpy, and Scott's the only one who knows how to drive, so if you need to pack barf bags, feel free.
[Ren] Actually, please bring some, for Yusuke's sake.
[Yusuke] My stomach isn't usually that prone to carsickness... it only is when I'm hungry.
[Scott] ...So all the time?
[Makoto] I'll see what I can do.
[Makoto] And I theoretically could drive, although I'm still learning.
[Makoto] I haven't even earned my learner's permit yet...
[Ann] Scott isn't that bad a driver, so no pressure!
[Ryuji] well yeah, if ya dont count the Incident
[Ryuji] but thats ancient history by now so. yeah hes fine!!
[Makoto] Understood, maybe I'll be able to take the wheel for you all someday.
[Makoto] In the meantime, I'll trust Scott to not kill us all in a tragic bus wreck.
[Scott] Dont worry, i Hate manslaughter! You guys are in safe hands :)
[Yusuke] ...One moment while I get some fresh air.
--END LOG--
Notes:
They're cooking up one Hell of a Last Surprise... okay I'll see myself out.
See you next next week, and happy Scarlet/Violet release day!
Chapter 55: Would You Care for a Nice Egg Child in This Trying Time?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/26-DAYS UNTIL PICS LEAK:13--
-DAYTIME-
It had been a few days since the Phantom Thieves' most recent trip into the Metaverse, but that didn't necessarily mean they were wasting time. Makoto still wasn't as resistant to the inevitable fatigue as everyone else was, so she was taking that time to replenish her stamina reserves.
In an RPG like this, it'd probably be preferred to as SP or toilet paper or somethin' like that...
Everyone else was also making sure they were rested, of course, but Ren and Scott were both a little busier than them. Mostly Ren. After Ryuji's comment about that steel horse song, he was sorta legally obligated to go over to Untouchable and get her a model revolver, one that fit perfectly into any draw duel you'd see in a game like Red Dead Redemption or Fast Draw Showdown on Wiiware.
Other than that, Scott was mostly just being a lazy f*ck that whole time, like everyone else. Ren was spending that time making infiltration tools (including during class, how he wasn't getting noticed by Ms. Kawakami was a complete mystery to Scott) and getting other random stuff they usually used in palaces.
To sum it up, they were so goddamn ready to head back into Mementos. They had a couple missions lined up, along with the goal of trying to get farther down in search of the depths.
Once they were inside, things were business as usual for the team, other than Queen's mild disgust at the mega-dungeon's general aesthetic and her admitting that seeing the Monabus in person was still weird, despite her accepting that sh*t was gonna get like that around these guys no matter what.
Which honestly only made it all the more confusing when Queen once again blindsided the entire goddamn team with a single question.
"And what about that egg child I saw earlier, what's their deal?"
There was an incredibly awkward silence while everyone else tried to figure out what the f*ck she just asked.
Mona pulled himself together first, speaking through that tinny speaker of his.
"...As far as I know, we're the only humans in Mementos, and there definitely aren't any kids roaming around. Maybe you just saw a small shadow?"
"No, this kid was wearing all white, definitely not a shadow. I only spotted them briefly as we were exiting the last floor, are you saying none of you have seen that...?"
There was no way Duel could concentrate on driving under circumstances like this, so he pulled over to the side of the... road? It wasn't really a road, but you get the idea.
"Queen, did someone slip something into your Halloween candy?" He asked.
"...It's June."
"You're dodging the question."
From the passenger seat, Joker was deep in thought. "Maybe it was a shadow that had shed its guard form by itself...? Then again, that doesn't usually happen unless they're trying to attack us..."
"They certainly didn't look like any of the shadows I've seen in the past." She continued. "Even with that quick glimpse, I could tell that they were humanoid, riding a small car that was well-decorated, with some sort of egg-shaped helmet..."
"Please don't murder me for sayin' this, but I think you're takin' the whole 'accepting weird shit' thing a liiittle too far." Said Skull.
"Precisely! Besides, if there really were anyone else here, I'd be able to sense them from a mile-"
Mona had started talking there, but he was interrupted by somebody tapping on the driver's side window, making the entire bus lurch in surprise.
When Duel tentatively rolled down his window and looked around outside, it didn't take long to find the source of the tapping. From directly below the window of the bus, a small egg-themed humanoid was staring up at him from the appropriately sized blue car he was sitting in. That was definitely a kid, and Duel honestly wasn't even sure if he was human. Other than the fact that he was hanging out in the Metaverse instead of doing usual kid things (like loitering), there was just something... off about him. Mostly the yellow (albeit non-glowing) eyes, but something about his nose and ears just made the kid look like an Animal Crossing interpretation of a human that had been dragged into the real world. He was kinda giving off some uncanny valley vibes, actually...
After a moment of Duel's confused and shocked silence, the kid finally spoke up.
"...Doing good?"
"Who the hell are you?!" Was the only response Duel could think of giving.
"Oh, right! I almost forgot to do an introduction, I think those are pretty important for human communication... my name's Jose, and it's really nice to meet you, mister!"
Jose's smile was bright enough to light up the entire hallway, which was pretty goddamn impressive when you take into account just how badly lit Mementos usually was. After another second of confused silence, he continued.
"I usually don't see you guys pulled over unless you're going to another floor, and even then, your bus turns into a tanuki pretty quickly after you get out. So I decided to see if you were doing okay!"
"Wh- whaddaya mean, TANUKI?!" Mona yowled.
"...Maybe we should continue this conversation somewhere where the tanuki doesn't need to be a bus? I've got a dead end that I was hanging out in for a bit there, if that works for you all!"
"Uh, should we really be followin' a stranger to a random dead end??" Asked Skull from one of the back seats.
Joker shrugged. "He doesn't seem like a threat to me, might as well find out who he is. Even if he does turn out to be malicious, we vastly outnumber him, and he's not exactly the most daunting thing we've encountered."
"Yeah, an egghead like that's gotta be harmless!" Duel added before turning back to the kid. "Lead the way, little man!"
The dead end Jose took them to was actually just across the pseudo-road, so it took them just about a minute for the Phantom Thieves to arrive, get parked, and leave the car. While it could have easily become a little suspect when the area was revealed to be unusually dim compared to the rest of Mementos, the glow-in-the-dark star stickers on the wall nipped those fears in the bud. Even if Jose had intentionally found a darker corner of the dungeon, his primary motive for that would have probably just been to find an excuse to put up some fun lights.
Anyways, now that they had arrived, the group was a little more optimized for chatting. Thanks to some random crates Jose had gotten from the back of his car, everyone had something to sit on. He smiled at everyone from his seat on the car's hood, even kicking his feet in the air a bit from excitement.
"I've actually wanted to talk to you guys for a while, but you all seemed really busy, so I haven't gotten the chance to until just now!" He explained.
"The hell's a kid like you doin' in Mementos??" Asked Skull, apparently too distracted to respond to what Jose had actually said.
While Skull's tone could have (accidentally) come across as demanding, that seemed to completely sail over the kid's head. For all he knew, that was just how asking people things worked!
"I'm glad you asked, mister!" Grinned Jose. "I'm studying humans here, by using flowers to make juice!"
"...You're huh?"
"Mm-hm! Here, I'll show you with some fresh flowers I picked just a minute ago."
The kid produced a small cluster of flowers from his hoodie pocket, which seemed to be encased in some transparent glass-like force field. Based on the way it was glowing, Duel was pretty sure that it wasn't actually glass, but not actually completely sure.
Before he could make any comments about that, Jose got out a regular glass from his car's improbably large trunk and held it underneath the flowers, which he had left floating in the air while grabbing it. After a moment, the flowers' appearance in their orb seemed to warp, a bit like what happens to a building with a palace when you enter the Metaverse. But instead of turning into some f*cked up distortion-fueled nightmare, they just... turned into a juice that was dispensing itself into the kid's glass.
Once he had decorated the drink to his liking (by adding a straw and one of those little drink umbrellas), he took a sip and smiled again. "Like that!"
"Hang on a sec..." Muttered Skull, though his unusual low volume didn't last past that. "You can study by drinkin' juice?! Hell yeah, I can kiss those teachers buggin' me about grades goodbye!"
"Oh, it's not a perfect method, by any means. In fact, I still don't really understand humans at all... extracting real information from something grown in a place full of distortion is really hard, and I don't have it figured out yet."
"Aww..." Skull hung his head in disappointment.
"I didn't even think flowers could grow here... wait, that's besides the point! Why'd you sneak up on us like that earlier?!" For some reason, Mona seemed to be weirdly suspicious of Jose.
Eh, probably just salty that he got snuck up on right when he was bragging about his navigational skills...
"I didn't mean to startle you, Mister Tanuki... and like I said, you don't usually pull over like that, so I was a little worried! That, and I had also realized that this'd be the perfect opening to find some actual humans to communicate with!"
"Tanuki again?! That's even WORSE than thinking I'm a cat!!"
Christ, Mona sounds like he's ready to fight a child... there's no way he could possibly win to this egghead!
Jose blinked. "You're a Mister Cat, then?"
"HELL NO!!"
Seeing that this was getting out of hand, Joker decided to step in and clear the air a bit. "...Just call him Mona. That's his name, after all."
"Mister Mona... that's a cute name!"
Once again, Jose's smile was lighting up the dead end they were hanging out with. Even though Mona clearly wasn't a fan of his name being called cute, he was gonna take what he could get after somehow being mistaken for a tanuki.
"Still..." He grumbled, clearly not wanting to let the kid 'win,' or something dumb like that. "You said you approached us because you were taking the opportunity to communicate with humans, couldn't that be interpreted as you wanting to use us just to further your studies?"
Duel rolled his eyes. "Christ, you really think a kid like this has ulterior motives? He couldn't be more of a non-human marshmallow if he tried!"
"You're actually not entirely wrong, Mister Mona. I do really need to learn about humans, and it'd be a good plan to learn from them directly! At the same time though, you guys seem like fun people to hang out with, so I'd probably wanna be your friend anyways."
"He kinda sounds like you in that sense, Mona." Duel grinned, lightly nudging the cat with his elbow.
Unable to think of a comeback to that, he just crossed his arms and grumbled a bit.
Jose seemed to be a bit worried at this reaction, though. It made sense, he wouldn't want the two drops of gas used to bring the Phantom Thieves here to go to waste by not being able to befriend the only humans he seemed to be able to get in contact with. After bouncing his leg in thought for a second, he suddenly perked up and hopped back off his car's hood.
"Here, I'll give you something as a 'token of friendship!' That's something humans do, isn't it?"
It took a bit for the kid to find what he was looking for in what must have been a TARDIS-sized interior of a trunk, but after a few minutes of rummaging and quiet muttering from Jose, he finally pulled out a small object.
No wonder it took so long, that must've been like finding a needle in a junkstack with a trunk like that...
"Whew!" He said, but he didn't actually look tired. Probably just another human mimicry thing. "I found this during one of my own explorations! While it doesn't seem to do anything for me, you should be able to use it just fine!"
He trotted over to Joker and handed over what almost looked like some sort of star-shaped paperweight. It fit nicely in Joker's palm, and looked to be some sort of dark gem that glittered from the inside.
"Interesting..." Muttered Queen, who was also leaning over to get a better look. "Is this a black opal? It certainly resembles one, but I don't think cutting a stone this large into a shape like this is anywhere close to standard..."
That earned her a 'you seriously think that?' look from Jose for a second. It wasn't an intentionally rude look, but it was definitely unusual to see that kind of thing directed at someone that wasn't Skull. "...I'm pretty sure it's a star. Or at least, a star-shaped thingy. I know that when humans make a wish to a star, it comes true, which is probably why it hasn't worked for me... I tried wishing for the perfect method of extracting knowledge from flowers, but nothing happened."
"Well, normally that's just superstition, but people's hearts can't normally be stolen either, so who knows? Maybe it'll work for us... I wish for a lifetime supply of free crepes from that Marion place in Harajuku!" Panther exclaimed, clearly already excited for it to come true.
Yeah right, an item that was really like this would just be totally overpowered. There's gotta be some kinda catch here, even if it does do sh*t other than work as a random trinket in a game's collector's edition!
Panther's enthusiasm somehow paid off, since... nothing happened. On a completely unrelated note, the author needs to re-evaluate how he uses the phrase 'paid off.'
"Aw..." Skull grumbled, kicking at the floor a bit in minor bummed frustration. "I was gonna ask for a lifetime supply of beef bowls next..."
Seemed like Jose had been completely convinced that the whole star-wishing thing was 100% real for humans, since he mostly just looked confused at this result. "...Maybe it needs to get warmed up first?"
Regardless of whether it worked or not, it looked neat as f*ck, so Joker pocketed it. Besides, it'd just be rude to hand it back to the kid after he spent so much effort getting it out, and nobody seemed to really have the heart or the real desire to do that, anyways. "I'll keep it close, in case it eventually decides it's warmed up enough. Thanks, Jose." The leader of the Thieves smiled at the kid, meaning the entire team was officially friends with him.
The kid, naturally, smiled back. "No problem, mister! Let me know if any of your wishes come true, okay?"
"Of course, I'll keep you posted whenever we run into each other like this."
"Which will probably be pretty frequently, anyone could spot your whole design motif from a mile away when everything else in Mementos is all dark!" Added Duel.
That was supposed to be a bit of sarcasm, but Jose was obviously taking it as a genuine compliment. "I already can't wait for that, mister bus driver! Oh hey, would you look at the time?" Jose looked down at a watch that didn't exist on his wrist. "You guys do important stuff for other humans, and I shouldn't get in the way of that..." Suddenly, the kid's eyes widened, and he rushed to fiddle with something in his car again. "Actually, wait, there's something really important I have to say before you leave!"
Everyone exchanged alarmed glances for a sec, until Jose finished untying one of the balloons that he had trailing behind his little car and handed it to Joker.
"As you humans always tell each other when something is done... good job!"
While the others sighed in relief, Joker flashed the kid a simple yet effective thumbs-up.
--EVENING--
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] ...guys did we just straight up forget to do our actual goddamn missions today
[Ryuji] like we went in. met egg kid. went back.
[Ren] ...
[Ren] We'll be tackling those another day.
[Scott] Yeah he totally f*ckin forgot
Notes:
A chapter title that isn't a Scott quote or something original? Blasphemy!!
But seriously lmao I'm really happy I waited to bring in Jose, I don't think I could have written this scene as well as this without some time to think while kicking the can down the road. Since I did, it was all the better when I was able to say it was *showtime* for this lil' guy!
...Okay I'll see myself out. Be back next next week!
Chapter 56: It's Showtime!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/28-DAYS UNTIL PICS LEAK: 11--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
Another day, another meeting in the Shibuya Station walkway. Well, more like a meeting-to-be, since Ren had only just called it and nobody had had time to get there yet. Scott and Morgana were already there, yeah, but they're always near Ren, so does that really count?
The first one to arrive was Ann, who was actually impressively quick to show up. It had only been like five minutes since the call went out, but here she was, emerging from the crowd like a Chicken Shoot coming out of a bargain bin.
"Impressive as always, Lady Ann!" Morgana mewed. "How the heck did you get here so fast?"
"I was already nearby in the underground mall, so I didn't have much ground to cover! Though seeing as everyone else is gonna take a while to arrive, maybe I should have paced myself a little more..." She responded with a sigh.
Seemed like Morgana, on the other hand, was prepared for such an occasion. In fact, he was specifically prepared to find himself in this situation with her, which was incredibly obvious from the way there was a spark of mischief in his eyes when he looked at his crush.
Oh boy, this sure is gonna be... fun.
"Lady Ann..." Morgana continued with what was definitely a cat equivalent of a smirk. "Why don't we take this time to discuss our... attack combination strategies?"
"You mean, like what Makoto and I did earlier?"
He nodded. "Precisely! Makoto said we'd run out of new discoveries pretty quickly if we're just mixing elements, so I decided to start thinking up something that wasn't element-based! You wanna hear it?"
"Must be good if you're this excited over it!" Ann smiled and propped herself up against the railing, ready for the long haul of hearing whatever this plan was. "So, what are you waiting for? Tell me everything!"
Okay, Scott couldn't tell if it was just him, or...
"I... don't think that's going to work." Stated Ann.
Oh thank f*ck she gets what I mean here...
"Yeah, that's going to function just about as well as Donald Duck Golf as a plug and play game. As in it won't function." Now that Ann had said something, Scott felt free to just bash the sh*t out of that idea. Seriously, it sounded like it was just a fantasy of Morgana's that had somehow managed to disguise itself as a battle plan in his mind.
Speaking of which, Morgana's ears turned back a bit out of a mix of shock and disappointment. "You... don't like it?"
"It's not that I don't like it, it actually sounds really cool! The thing is just... where would we get that extra stuff? Not to mention the fact that we haven't seen any outdoor palaces yet, so I don't think we'd ever be able to get the right scenery for it."
"That's... an excellent point, actually. I suppose it is a little situational."
A little?!
"Yeah, sure is. I wish there was a way for us to just think of what we needed for an attack like that, and have it just... appear, you know?"
Morgana had been about to respond, but he was interrupted by something in Ren's bag. At first, Scott thought he was gonna say Ren's phone was ringing, but instead he actually ducked into it and quickly pulled out the star Jose had given them, holding it in his mouth.
"Hold on... am I finally losing it, or is that thing glowing?" Scott asked, also trying to figure out if there was some kind of way to just tell if you're sane or not. Like how pinches work for dreams, but he had a feeling that wasn't gonna be a cross-platform thing.
Ren shook his head, taking the star from Morgana to get a closer look. "No, that's definitely glowing..."
"Wasn't doing that a second ago, though." Meowed Morgana. "Hold on... didn't that egg kid say that this thing might grant wishes?"
Ann nodded, eyes wide. "On one hand, that's just superstition. But on the other, I did just say I wished we could pull off an attack like that! So it can grant that, but not lifetime supplies of crepes...?"
It was... definitely a bittersweet moment for her. With the wish she hadn't gotten granted in mind, Scott couldn't tell if that was ironic or not.
Still, does this mean that batsh*t insane plan is actually going to work now?!
There was no way to tell until they got into the palace, so they had no choice but to wait for the others to arrive before testing that theory.
"Can somebody start wrecking things before we start?" Queen asked.
By now, they were back in the palace and getting ready to carry out her plan for separating out the two strong guards. The group was standing in the security room that they got the first map in earlier, and Joker was standing near the radio that was used to communicate with other guards, apparently waiting to actually start using it.
Even though she'd turned out to be someone who wasn't afraid to get her hands dirty, the request Queen had just made seemed almost... out of character for her.
Skull raised his hand. "Not that I'm not totally down for that, but what's with the formal-ass request?" He asked.
"It'll provide some background noise to make this more convincing, of course."
"You say that like we all woulda put that together..."
Well, Mona clearly was just as totally down, since he immediately jumped up onto the security desk and knocked a 'METAVERSE'S BEST SECURITY GUARD' mug onto the floor. And now that the ball was rolling, Skull and Panther were both joining in, sending stray papers everywhere.
After giving a satisfactory nod and clearing his throat, Joker went ahead and radioed the office that housed their targets.
"Security room, come in! This is monitoring, we need backup and fast!!! But don't leave your post abandoned either, there's no telling what these damn thieves are planning!"
Damn, he can really make his voice all deep and ominous, huh...? Sakurai's got a new Smash announcer on his hands, apparently!
But let's set those impressive voice acting skills aside for now, since the response to the call was already coming in.
"What?! How the hell did they get into monitoring, that place is locked down tighter than Fort freakin' Knox!" The gruff voice on the other side asked.
Sh*t, they weren't just sending a guard immediately?? And more importantly, how the f*ck did it think a single keycard was tighter than Fort Knox?!
"How the hell should I know, they ambushed me!" Joker replied, managing to keep himself completely in character. "Just send a strong guy before we're completely wiped out by these brats, dammit!!"
"Roger that, got caught up in the shock for a second there. My partner's on the move as we speak!"
"Good, and keep your own door open in case we end up needing more! Seriously, these guys are strong..."
Definitely a bold move on Joker's part, but the guard on the other end was apparently an idiot, so it seemed to work out. "Keep me updated!"
And with that, he took his finger off of the radio's button and smiled a mischievous smile at the others. It didn't even take longer than a minute of waiting before the guard showed up, only to be incredibly confused when there was no co-worker to actually back up.
"Wh- did you bastards already get rid of the guy that called for help?!" It shouted at them, gripping his lightsaber-esque nightstick with enough force to nearly break it.
"Can't take out a guard that never existed to begin with, can you?" Joker smirked, before using the moment of confusion to jump up onto the shadow and rip off its mask.
What appeared was a blue metallic demon that was even larger than the hulking guard form was, wielding this weird staff thing with a sharp end on either side, and sporting a huge purple hole where its face should have been.
"Hah, this'll be easy!" Said Duel. "This thing doesn't even have eyes!!"
The demon, apparently hearing him, made a stab that Duel only barely managed to duck under. His hat was even still hanging in the hair like some kinda Looney Tunes bullsh*t with a character that hasn't looked down yet, but that just meant it was waiting for him when he stood back up after the swing had been successfully dodged.
"Nevermind, guess he doesn't need 'em!" Duel added, looking a bit embarrassed by his wrongness.
Fox furrowed his brow, his hand hovering right over his katana's hilt to ensure maximum efficency in f*cking sh*t up if he ended up needing to. "This is quite the formidable foe, even for a group as large as ours... everyone stay on your guard!"
Metallic Demon eased up on its attacks to give it enough time to laugh at them. "What, are you gonna surrender?! Sure would make my job easier, since I'll have to do paperwork on the deaths of you brats at one point or another!" It exclaimed, pointing at Duel with its weapon.
Skull laughed back. "Dream on asshole, this fight's just gettin' started!"
'Just getting started' ended up being, uh... very correct. The battle was long and kinda agonizing, but they finally managed to bring the first guard down after what had to be enough time to complete at least one RPG. Now that it was finally over, Joker knelt down and picked up the key that it had left behind, tucking it safely into another one of his numerous pockets.
"Yeesh..." Duel grumbled as he readjusted his hat. "Forget damage sponges, that thing's a damage Better Sponge."
That made Fox look over at him in shock. "Something better than a sponge...?"
"Didn't we just fight the same guy? You should already know the answer to that is 'f*ck yes!'"
Meanwhile, Queen was off to the side, rubbing her temples. "It'll probably take a while to get back to being in a fully fighting-fit state..." She sighed. "But with every second we spend here, we risk the other guard getting suspicious and checking in on its partner. I don't think I need to explain just how much of a massive disadvantage that would put us in."
Joker nodded, putting a hand on his chin as he thought about their dilemma. "Both good points... maybe some recovery items will do the trick? I actually brought a big thermos of coffee I brewed back at Leblanc for situations like this."
"Jesus, how big are your f*cking pockets?!" Cried Duel.
That answer still wasn't good enough for Queen. "That still may require a fairly risky amount of time to split up and get through. Also, Mona broke the only mug in here earlier, and I, for one, wouldn't be caught dead using a guard's mug anyways without at least washing it first."
Panther's eyes had suddenly lit up as soon as Mona was mentioned, and she glanced over at the cat, who gave her an excited nod. What they were planning, Duel had no idea, and he was frankly mystified as to how they just knew what plan the other was proposing.
"No need to worry, everyone! Mona and I have just the plan to get rid of that guard, and fast." Announced Panther.
"If you're sure it'll work, then I don't see why we shouldn't just go and get this over with."
Queen sure started trusting Panther quickly...
Oh God Panther PLEASE know what you're doing!!!
This guard's true form was even bigger than the last one, and was another demon with a huge staff, but this time it was like a massive Q-tip made entirely of solid steel. He wasn't sure about everyone else, but Duel was not in the mood to find out just how much it would hurt to be smacked by it!
"You bastards..." The shadow grumbled, but that quickly turned into an enraged roar. "I KNEW that call had to be phony!!"
Joker scoffed. "Didn't sound like you suspected a thing before now. Panther, Mona, the floor's yours!"
The two of them stepped forward from the rest of the group, and the guard gripped its Q-tip a little tighter as it readied itself for whatever attack could possibly come its way.
...Except for the attack called 'Suddenly being in the middle of a flower-filled meadow.' That made it stop and look around, obviously just as confused as the other Thieves were.
"When the f*ck did we get HERE?!" Duel cried in the general direction of the two leading this plan.
"I can't believe I'm agreeing with a robber, but WHAT HE SAID! If you don't quit it right now, I'll tell President Kaneshiro about-"
"-About this beautiful declaration of love you're about to witness!" Mona interrupted, pulling out an enormous rose bouquet from God-knows-where and holding it out to Panther. Or at least up to her, he was a bit too short to pull off the whole 'out' thing.
Wait, isn't this...?
Panther looked like she had just been told that she'd won a sweepstakes that would allow her to bring back her religion/favorite Madden game back from nonexistence. "Ohmigosh, of course! I would love to..." Her smile turned into a sinister grin, and she began to reach into the bouquet. "...Kick some major butt with you!"
Holy sh*t it is.
She pulled out two submachine guns (Duel coulda sworn she only had one, and he was even the one who had picked it out!), peppered the guard with bullets, found time to do a quick pose with Mona, and then continued the bullet storm as the cat tossed in a giant cartoony bomb as the black cherry on top that also had a burning stem. The guard was, ironically, completely caught off-guard by all of this, and was already dead by the time the dust from the explosion settled.
The scenery around them faded back to the security office, and the key the shadow had been carrying clattered to the floor.
There was a brief moment of silence (during which Joker pocketed the key) before anyone spoke up.
"Okay. Cool. Nice. What the hell WAS that, though?!?!" Skull cried, in some crazy mix of shock and amazement.
Even though Duel remembered the whole conversation that foreshadowed this, all he could do was shrug. "Something that shouldn't have been able to be anything more than Mona's daydream, that's for sure..."
"Not quite, but it turns out Jose's star can grant wishes! Guess it's just picky about what it actually responds to, though." Panther explained, either agreeing with or entirely missing Duel's point.
"Yep! Panther and I had been discussing a rather... impractical battle plan just to pass the time before you all arrived, and when she wished that we could actually pull it off, the star just started glowing from inside Joker's bag!" Added Mona. "I'm still thinking about what to call it... but how about 'A Gentleman's Deadly Confession?'"
'Just to pass time' my ass, you were completely serious about it from the very beginning!
Joker put a hand to his chin in thought. "Eh, it doesn't have a certain ring to it, you know? Plus, that would be a weird name to keep using if other special moves started getting granted. No, it's gotta be something simple, yet stylish..." He paused, realized he was getting just as distracted as everyone else tended to get, and waved the topic off. "But there's no rush to settle on a name, either. Come on, let's see what the palace depths have in store for us."
Notes:
The egg child's gift seems to be more than a shiny rock after all... only question is, exactly how many wishes will it grant? 👀
As we inch closer to the end of the Kaneshiro arc, I'm gonna give you all the heads up that I'm gonna take a hiatus (likely of more than a couple weeks like I did before) to widen that buffer I usually keep (and hopefully I'll be able to get back to weekly updates as a result!), I've sorta been that GIF of Gromit laying down tracks as the lil' model trolley he's on keeps racing ahead at high speeds... I have a part-time job now, which is nice for obvious reasons, but it also means I'm no longer using this fic to fill the void in my life, lmao
But, we're not quite there yet. For now, see you all next next week!
Chapter 57: You're Gonna Need a Big Key For That Big Lock
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Moment of truth...
They were in front of the vault door, keys in hand. Well, keys in hands, since Skull and Panther had each been handed one in order to turn them at the same time. It was entirely possible this system required it, and there was probably no real downside to trying it anyways.
"Okay, on three..." Skull said, inserting his key in the ready-to-turn position.
"One... two... three!!"
Two KA-CHUNK noises rang out in unison, and the machinery keeping the vault door closed began to whir to life. All at once, the two gear-like twisty things you see on vault doors began to spin, which seemed to retract a few bars that were bracing the door shut, allowing the whole thing to slide open just like a Best Buy at midnight wouldn't. Finally, they seemed to be really getting somewhere, since the scenery ahead of them was drastically different from the parts they'd already seen.
The hall ahead of them was suspended between two different blocks of what seemed to be offices, either side of which the fork at the end of the hall could lead them into. Not that they really seemed important, definitely the kinda thing an author would cut out of a fic because it wouldn't translate interestingly from game to text. Besides, Duel and the others were kinda distracted by the countless bills scattering the floor and even the air around them. The bills on the ground had even been haphazardly swept to each side of the hall, but it was left there either because nobody wanted to take the time required to round all of it up, or it was just there to serve as eye candy for Kaneshiro's ego.
"Holy sh*t..." Mumbled Duel, realizing he was even stepping on a few paper scraps with a lot of zeroes involved, and trying to get it off like he'd stepped in dog poo. With how dirty this money was (legally and morally), it might as well have been!
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU HAVEN'T CAUGHT THEM YET?!"
A familiar distorted voice came from the other end of the hall, and the door slid open to reveal that he'd been chewing out another gold-suited guard while walking. He was apparently getting so worked up about this, that he just stopped to focus all of his energy on the lecture, miraculously not noticing the thieves at all as a result.
"I give you imbeciles ONE simple job, and you can't even do THAT right?! They're a ragtag group of teenagers, why are they giving an entire squad of highly qualified security guards this much of a hard time???"
"Uh. Probably because they haven't really exposed a single opening for us to discover them with? They're seriously really good at this, President Kaneshiro."
"You mean to tell me that a group of DELINQUENTS is outsmarting EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU?!" The shadow looked like one of his purple veins was going to burst, but he suddenly took a deep breath. "I swear, if something needs to get done around here... what about the security cameras? There's no way they can just dodge those."
"Actually... they have, sir. That said, we have noticed some of the cameras going offline recently, maybe they're actually disabling them somehow?"
"And you haven't looked into that WHY?!"
"There isn't enough personnel to watch the cameras and to also repair the damaged feeds. Come to think of it, quite a few squad members have suddenly gone AWOL..."
Christ, Kaneshiro was already back to being at the verge of popping a vein. Duel was definitely wondering if it actually would pop during the boss battle or something, though he kinda doubted that.
"Best security system in the Metaverse, my ASS... Look, if you don't shape up and get rid of those pests NOW, you're getting the boot." The palace ruler narrowed his eyes and stood on his tiptoes a bit in order to get closer to eye level with the guard. "The literal boot off the side of the bank, of course."
Finally, Kaneshiro straightened out his suit jacket, huffed, and started heading in the Thieves' direction. There was actually a bit of delay between that and him actually noticing the group, but as soon as he did, he was back to hysterics yet again. He whirled around to the guard, looking ready to just strangle the poor shadow then and there.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THEY WERE RIGHT HERE?!" The palace ruler cried.
"...You told us to never interrupt you under any circumstances no matter what, President Kaneshiro."
"GAH!! Just take them out already so I can... YOU KNOW, SECURE THE VAULT!!!"
Skull summoned his lead pipe so that he could threateningly smack it against his palm. "That sounds preeetty suspiciously like an excuse to just run away like a chicken, but feel free to try!"
Fortunately for Kaneshiro (and unfortunately for literally everyone else), he had at least enough sense to simply glare at the Thieves and then promptly run away. All the guard could do was sigh, clearly more than ready for all of this infiltration bullsh*t to be past him. He switched to his true form, and got into a battle-ready stance.
The minibosses of this palace all seemed to have gold dress shirts under their bulletproof vests, but this one was actually gold all the way through. His body was big, bulky, and had a cross between a solid gold bucket and a fish tail for a head.
"Look, I hate to do this to a buncha kids, but orders are orders. You get that, right?"
"...Man, you really don't know sh*t about us, do you?" Asked Duel.
"And I hate to do this to someone just doing his job." Queen added. "But sometimes, confronting the painful truth is the best thing you can do. But you're a shadow, meaning you're most likely incapable of not following an order from your precious palace ruler, so I don't think you'd understand that."
"No, no, I can see where you're coming from, even if it doesn't exactly apply to this situation. At the very least, dying at the hands of my enemies would be far less embarrassing than simply plummeting onto the crossing below."
"Then we'll be happy to deliver you to that fate. Panther, Mona, can you do that special attack again?"
"You mean the Gentleman's Deadly Confession?" The cat asked, though he very transparently already knew the answer. "Yeah, about that..."
Panther began to fidget with the tip of one of her pigtails. "I don't think it's on command. Well, it is, but the vibes aren't there!"
"The... vibes?" Queen asked.
"Yeah, like... there was this weird feeling I got the first time, saying that it would totally work if we went for it. Now, though? Not so much."
"Maybe it's just another limit of Jose's star." Mona mewed with a shrug. "Point is, ask again later."
Fox nodded. "Ah, artist's block... I'm well aware of phenomenon of that nature. From one artist to another, I wish you both a speedy recovery."
"We're not artists, but I suppose the analogy does work pretty well, so... I'll accept it."
"Makes sense that there's some kinda limit on those, they'd be completely overpowered if you could use 'em all the damn time." Said Duel. "Now that we're done clearing that up, are we just waiting for this guy to attack us first, or...?"
"Yeah, is it that you want me to go first? Seems like an odd thing for an enemy to request, but I wouldn't say no, either."
He turned to the miniboss with the most intense (and frankly terrifying) death glare he had ever given. "Make this sh*t turn-based, and I will beat you up so badly that it loops around from being sad to watch to just being whimsical and comedic instead."
"Wait, huh???" The shadow actually shook his head in disbelief, clearly that had seriously put some fear in that thing's heart. Definitely didn't help that it probably didn't know what 'turn-based' meant. By the way, it should probably get itself together and get in a decent hit before-
BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!!!
Nevermind, too late, Queen had just brought out her inner Wes Flowers and quick-drawed its ass. The shadow looked down at the new air holes in its chest, then back at the Phantom Thieves, then at Duel specifically.
"...Was that turn-bases talk just to get my guard down?" It asked.
"What? No, what kinda strategical mastermind do you take me for?" And with that response, Duel walked up and delivered a back-caned slap to the shadow's face, and it disintegrated.
"Yeesh, didn't even take a single persona skill to take him out..." Duel muttered, before glancing back at the rest of the group. "Anyone else feeling incredibly underwhelmed?"
Joker shrugged. "Yeah, but it was really funny, so I think it works out."
Now that the way was officially clear, the Phantom Thieves had all boarded the elevator that would take them further down. This one was much fancier than the first one (although they couldn't say that for sure because of the fact that they didn't get to ride inside the elevator that time), since it was a glass tube that gave its passengers a good bird's eye view of what was ahead as it went, rather than some old creaky box in a concrete shaft. Not only that, but it gave them a good view of the yen symbols etched into the glass... oh, and of the layout of the rest of the dungeon, that was also pretty important.
If there was one word to sum up the next area, it was circles. Lots and lots of circles, in fact... thank f*ck Jerry wasn't here to see this, or he'd be screaming so loud that they'd have guards swarming them as soon as they stepped off the elevator. They weren't just ordinary circles, though... the setup was closer to a maze on a Super Mario cereal box, but if that maze hadn't been as rectangular as a math problem's backyard. And even then, the maze was impossible, since there were self-contained sections walled off from the rest of the structure everywhere, even at the very start of the damn thing!
"Are we going to have to check every single one of those vaults...?" Queen asked, in a tone of slight but still significant horror.
...Oh yeah, the walls of the maze were made up entirely of safety deposit boxes. Guess Duel was too wrapped up in the geometry aspect of it all to notice it at first.
"I doubt it, the treasure's probably too damn big to fit in any of 'em. This is the biggest distortion we've seen so far, so that'd definitely make sense!" Skull responded, though he didn't exactly sound sure about it.
Meanwhile, Duel wasn't sure if he was onto something or not for the first time in his puzzle-cracking career as a literal RPG guy. He was pretty certain that the treasure had to be in the center of the maze somehow, but would they have to climb up onto the top of the walls to get there?! If they did, they'd have no cover if a shadow managed to get up there as well, not to mention how easy it would be for them to just... notice the Thieves. There was no way the devs would do that as a puzzle solution, not after the Colt encounter in Ride to Hell set the precedent of that being bullsh*t.
"Hey, you okay? You look pretty lost in thought there, Duel."
Suddenly, Joker's voice yanked him back to the present. They had almost hit the elevator's destination by now, so he wouldn't exactly be able to figure things out from a top-down perspective anymore. Guess that left first-person puzzle solving as the only option available to him...
He sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It's just a really f*ckin' weird maze down here, you know?"
"Actually..." Queen piped up. "I'm not sure if that's quite what this is. Well, it definitely is in a metaphorical sense, but it's definitely not designed to be just that."
"Then what is it, a goddamn Super Monkey Ball level?"
"I... don't think so. Once I can be sure of whether my hunch is right or not, I'll fill you all in."
Come on, she can't just tell us now?? I mean, it would suck if she jinxed it somehow, but it still feels weird...
Finally, the elevator slowed to a stop. A stereotypical elevator ding played as the doors slid open and everyone stepped out into the massive room. That bird's eye view had seriously undersold just how huge this part was, the walls were even as tall as some buildings. Granted, they'd probably be Ohioan buildings rather than Tokyoan buildings, but you get the idea. There were these up-platform-machines (or whatever the f*ck they're called) scattered around the section they were in, which could have been a way up and over the wall if they were feeling particularly lucky and/or suicidal. None of the safety deposit boxes seemed to be specially marked in any way either, so where were they supposed to-
As Duel was walking around and taking in the scenery, he walked right into a tall machine that he hadn't noticed in time to avoid. It was tall enough to make his hat fall off with the impact, and while it did hurt his forehead and pride, it also ended up being a pretty lucky bruise to get. Down on the floor next to the fallen hat was a slip of lined paper, which had been torn off from a memo pad a long time ago by the looks of things, filled with letters, numbers, and equals signs. Otherwise known as an obvious puzzle solution, of course!
"With how it's crumpled up, I think Kaneshiro was trying to stuff this back into his pocket, but was in too much of a rush to realize he'd missed entirely." Joker mused from behind Duel, making him jump.
"Yeesh, now you're sneaking up on your allies? Is nothing sacred to you??" He asked, before sighing and going back to the slip. "And yeah, probably. Doesn't really make much sense for him to only need it for the first puzzle and then have however many are ahead memorized, but I'm definitely not complaining."
Skull shrugged. "It's not a plot hole if the author points it out right after it comes up, kinda like the five-second rule."
"I... sure."
"Everyone, look at this." Queen piped up before everyone got swept up in a discussion about plot holes and food safety, and pointed to something on the machine. "This seems to be some kind of security keypad, and the word 'RICH' is engraved right above the display. If the codes are the standard four digits, doesn't this seem to be some sort of password hint?"
Okay, things were finally starting to make some sense to Duel. He wasn't sure of the details, but a password puzzle was definitely something he could get behind! Plus, he already had the solution in his hand, for the most part... some of it was obfuscated by separately noting that one letter had the same value as another, without actually saying what the value was. Still, nothing too difficult for someone with as much experience as him! Hell, it barely even took a minute of staring at the sheet before he walked over and punched in the correct code.
" Oh... one... oh... two! " He had muttered under his breath as he typed, and he was greeted with a light green 'CORRECT' screen on the display when he was done. Under them, a weird mechanical thing that was a cross between a q-tip and a key emerged and slotted into a keyhole ahead of it, all visible through the glass section of the floor above it.
The key turned, and some mechanical whirring began to reach the group's ears. Good thing it wasn't too loud, or-
RUMBLE...
...Yep, there went any hope of secrecy in this section of the palace. It wasn't gonna damage his hearing or anything, but the sound of the entire f*cking wall rotating in order to expose a path ahead was absolutely loud enough to alert literally any sentient being in the entirety of the depths. Oh yeah, that's how this puzzle apparently worked, by the way. Not only that, but Duel swore he could almost hear Kaneshiro's obsessive ramblings about getting richer both during the rotation, and as lingering whispers in the air even after everything had settled down. It was surreal, even though Duel was well aware of the fact this place was created by thoughts like that.
Not that there was really time to stop and listen though, since they had another layer of the... whatever this was to traverse through.
"I see... seems my hunch is most likely correct." Queen said, motioning to another keypad machine just up ahead. "We're making each section rotate until it lines up to create a path forward, similar to a vault's lock. There are some creative liberties here, since the way things are lining up don't exactly match its source material, so I wasn't entirely sure if I was onto something or not until now."
A vault's lock, eh...? Okay, I do have to hand it to the developers on this one, that's pretty f*ckin' sick. Seems a little weird that all the solutions seem to be here right off the bat though, wouldn't a video game like this have each clue scattered around as key items?
Then again, that's less work for us if this really is every solution.
Seemed Joker was just as impressed with the design, even though he was probably crediting Kaneshiro in his mind rather than the game's developers, for obvious reasons.
"It'd probably be much more secure if Kaneshiro hadn't dropped the answer key like this." He mused to himself with a slight chuckle. "Though I'm sure we still would have cracked it open without that happening."
Mona seemed to be taking this new information... kinda hard? Though Duel wasn't sure what hard there was to take in this case. "Of course it's a vault's lock, how did I not notice that first?!" After muttering a bit, he noticed Duel's raised eyebrow looking down at him, and he forced himself back to his usual confident self. "Well, we should probably get moving on the next keypad before any guards have a chance to catch us. The changing layout will likely trip them up, but they definitely know we're here after that impossible-to-miss display."
I guess he does have a point there...
And it wasn't his problem anyways, it was Mona's! After shaking off his concern, he headed up to the next keypad and got to work on deciphering the next clue word.
One after the other, each and every section of the palace depths was lining up for them. It was building some serious hype, since the fact that they didn't have to go scavenging for clues every time meant that this felt like it was the home stretch of the palace. With any luck, it actually would be!
Not only that, but the weird whispers we keep hearing as we go seem to be getting more and more desperate... that's kinda weird, come to think of it.
After what was starting to feel like way too many codes, they were finally greeted by something other than a keypad when the segment had finished rotating into place. Instead, it was a grandiose elevator, even more so than the one they rode to get to the depths to begin with. It seemed to be designed after the big knob on a vault (especially on the top), and the visible part of the elevator shaft was plastered top to bottom with bills.
Once they'd finished the relatively short ride, they had arrived in a huge circular room. It wasn't nearly as massive as the depths were as a whole, but it was definitely still impressively big. The walls around them looked mechanical, as if they were also the innards of a lock, and hovering above the middle of the tile floor was...
"Looks like our route's secure." Joker stated, echoing what Duel was thinking.
That confused Queen a bit. "Wait, what? But I don't see any treasure here." She asked.
"It's actually the floating hazy thing in the middle there!" Panther explained. "That's how it looks before the calling card goes out."
Fox nodded. "Seems its general appearance prior to that doesn't change between palace rulers."
That seemed to be incredibly thought-provoking for Queen, since she just stood there quietly for a moment before she said anything else.
"...Is that the reason why you send calling cards? After all, an immaterial concept like this can't be held, let alone stolen, so convincing the treasure's owner that it can, and will, be stolen causes a shift in cognition to change that."
And with that, another point for Queen went up on the blindsiding scoreboard against Joker, making it 0 for... sh*t, Duel had lost count by now. Point was, she was absolutely right, shocking him once again.
Once Joker had picked his jaw up off the floor and collected himself again, he nodded. "Exactly. It needs to be something we're absolutely certain the target will see, and the resulting shift only lasts until the day's out. After that, any subsequent calling cards won't do anything at all."
"So we only get one shot at this, then... we'll have to plan out our operation extremely carefully before sending anything." She put a hand to her chin, seemingly already working on formulating things. "The fact that we have the solutions to the keypads means that the path will likely stay clear, but we definitely need a more detailed plan than 'rush in, get treasure, rush out.'"
"And that's why we take our time to prepare between securing a route and sending the calling card! It's way easier to come up with a plan without guards breathing down our necks." Mewed Mona, trotting forward to the head of the group. "Still, I can't wait to get my paws on some treasure..."
Guh, Mona was in that treasure-crazy mood again... Duel picked him up, which resulted in a lot of squirming and hissing from the ball of fur he was now holding.
"Let's just go before he starts trying to nuzzle the floating abstract concept." He grumbled, and the rest of the group didn't exactly argue with him on it.
Notes:
So full disclosure, I have a total of Zero buffer and literally just finished this chapter right before uploading it so uh. Next chapter may be delayed unfortunately.
I'll try to see you all next next week, but if I don't, you know what's up!
Chapter 58: There's a Reason Why These Cards Are Plastered Around the Neighborhood, Please Take Us Seriously.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--6/29-DAYS UNTIL PICS LEAK:10--
-MORNING-
Scott yawned. Christ, the post-Metaverse fatigue may have been getting better over time, but it definitely wasn't nonexistent, either... and the fact that it was especially hot that day wasn't helping.
Now that the most recent palace had been routed out, the only thing that stood between them and another calling card being sent out was prep work. That sounded like something that should have been exciting, but it was honestly starting to feel routine to Scott... just another hurdle he has to cross before this game ends and he gets to go home. Whenever that may be...
"You look tired, Scott... did you stay up late last night?"
JESUS CHRIST-
He jumped, and even had to physically stop himself from retaliating like he'd just been ambushed by a guard, but relaxed after a second when he realized who it was.
"Sh*t Haru, don't sneak up on me like that..."
Seriously, she was impressively quiet before speaking there. Definitely another Phantom Thief in the making... anyways, Haru sheepishly smiled back at him. "Ah, apologies... but at least you look much more awake now?"
He shrugged and kept walking, with Haru continuing right alongside him. "I mean, I guess so? Still pretty tired, but I guess that's just how the economy rolls." But come to think of it, he didn't actually feel like yawning every five seconds anymore.
"A small improvement is still an improvement, isn't it?" She asked with one of those small smiles of hers.
Again, Scott shrugged. He didn't exactly feel like discussing outlooks on life at 8 in the morning.
Apparently Haru didn't mind total non-responses, since she kept going like nothing had happened. Which it hadn't, if you're being technical about it. "If I may ask, what were you staying up to do?"
"Wasn't." Was Scott's response, though it felt weird not elaborating. "I just had a tiring day, doing... things."
Probably a bad idea to mess with the storyline, having characters finding out who we are sooner than they should be...
That seemed to confuse Haru, for understandable and obvious reasons. "...Things?"
Scott nodded. "Things."
"I see..."
As they rounded the next corner, the two of them realized that they had already arrived at Shujin. It seemed that Haru in particular was drawing some sort of unintended conclusion about Scott's vagueness, which only served to make her even less suspicious than she already was, mainly thanks to Scott's tendency to say weird sh*t that he was almost always oblivious to.
But yeah, now that they were here, Haru took a few steps ahead before turning back and waving a bit at him. "Well, you can tell me all about those 'things' after school. I know you're tired, but do your best in classes today, alright?"
"Oh yeah, definitely!" Scott replied, with a total of 0 truths in that sentence.
Then again, just showing up is good enough in this case, so I'm really acing this sh*t if you think about it!
-AFTER SCHOOL-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Makoto] Oh right, I had a realization earlier.
[Makoto] Earlier in our infiltration, Ryuji mentioned that palace rulers tend to become "effed-up monstrosities" at the very last minute, which you are then forced to fight.
[Makoto] Does that happen after the calling card has been sent, or did we somehow skip that step?
[Ryuji] nah thats probably still comin
[Ryuji] i mean, weve only had to fight two others so far, but it just feels on brand for these douchebags
[Makoto] I see.
[Makoto] That's what I figured, but it was worth asking...
[Ren] The target's shadows are rulers for a reason, too.
[Ren] They're stronger than any guard, so we're going to need to find ways to counter that.
[Ren] It's hard to tell what to expect from Kaneshiro, though... even with knowledge of our last two fights against rulers, it's hard to figure out how a distorted obsession with hoarding money could manifest.
[Yusuke] Perhaps as a dragon? They hoard wealth to build their nests out of, and are incredibly protective of it in many stories.
[Ren] I did consider that, but it seems like an odd matchup for Kaneshiro.
[Scott] Yeah, with that tiny chubby purple body, hed be more Barney than Alduin
[Scott] Hell, Barney isnt even a dragon, hes a goddamn dinosaur!!
[Ann] man, I haven't heard that name in years... but Scott's right, he wouldn't exactly be very threatening as a dragon.
[Makoto] Plus, he didn't have a hoard to go with his treasure.
[Makoto] As we all know, a hoard can't consist of only one item.
[Scott] Exactly! Take it from a video game accumulator, that sh#t was Not a hoard, it was a Room.
[Ann] but that just begs the question, what ARE we in for??
[Ryuji] hmmm... hes a wealth hoarding douchebag... so maybe a banker?
[Scott] Thats his normal shadow form already dumbass
[Ryuji] yeah well, maybe hell turn into a hell banker!!
[Ryuji] from hell!!!!!
[Makoto] Maybe some sort of pig? He's certainly disgusting enough to be one, and we've seen many pig statues in the palace.
[Yusuke] That doesn't make sense with his purple color scheme. If he had a pig form, he would simply stay the hue that his real self is, though likely with a bit more pink to it.
[Yusuke] That, or brown. (maybe even a silvery gray, if he was feeling extravagant when forming his distorted desires...)
[Yusuke] Essentially, many other colors would have been better choices to make before settling on purple.
[Ryuji] scott, youve got a knack for predictions for some reason
[Ryuji] what do you think kaneshiros gonna turn into?
[Scott] Youre asking me?
[Ren] I'm not sure who else that would have been directed towards.
[Scott] Well uh
[Scott] I actually dont have sh*t either
[Scott] Other than whatever it is being gross as hell, but thats a given
[Ryuji] damn... you know shits fucked when even scott cant figure out what to prep for
[Scott] Yeah, yeah... uhhh just plan for the worst i guess :/
[Makoto] That does seem wise.
[Makoto] It may be a good idea to develop a new battle tactic, by the way.
[Makoto] Brings the element of surprise on our side.
[Ren] Good idea... there's that new move Morgana and Ann have, but that won't be quite as surprising now that they've used it a couple times.
[Ann] oh yeah, what are we calling that?
[Ann] because "A Gentleman's Deadly Confession" is kind of a mouthful lol
[Scott] Careful, any more comments like that and youre gonna give the cat depression!!
[Ann] I'm just saying, a new name would be nice!!
[Yusuke] The existing title is artful, yes, just not practical to be shouting in the heat of battle.
[Ann] exactly!! we can use the longer name in stuff like chatlogs if it comes up
[Ren] Actually, I had a thought about a possible name.
[Ren] The move involves the two of you distracting an enemy with some sort of act, and then turning around and delivering a strong blow before they know what's hit them, right?
[Ann] pretty much! :)
[Ren] So, how about calling it a Showtime attack?
[Yusuke] Artful and concise... I like it.
[Scott] Very no nonsense, and conveniently fits as an umbrella term when more inevitably show up!
[Ann] oooh, I'm down for that one!!
[Ren] In that case, I think it's settled.
[Ren] I don't think either Ryuji or Makoto would object, at least.
[Yusuke] Speaking of them, they've gone quiet all of a sudden...
[Scott] Eh, theyre probably just away for a sec so that they can plot something either incredibly dumb or incredibly brilliant. Depends on who initiated it, if i had to guess
[Ryuji] lol sorry abt that, we were talkin about a new move to smack kaneshiro around with!!!!
[Makoto] Can vouch. It will be a difficult one, but could also potentially be incredibly powerful.
[Makoto] I just hope I can train myself to punch at that kind of speed quickly enough to apply it to this mission...
[Makoto] My burning hatred towards Kaneshiro will most likely be incredibly helpful there, at least.
[Scott] Ryuji what the hell did you show her
[Ryuji] whys THAT your first reaction????
[Makoto] A clip of a video game he's been playing lately, from which he got the idea for the move.
[Makoto] The atmosphere involved certainly wouldn't be absolutely necessary for the move, but it would be nice if it could be supplied to us like what Ann and Morgana gained the ability to do...
[Ryuji] you didnt have to just tell everyone i got it from a game!!
[Scott] You arent a true gamer until you fling a game at an enemy as an attack, so i guess a move from one would work too
[Ann] uh, wouldn't that also make you not a true gamer?
[Scott] Nope
[Ryuji] wait huh?? when did you do that???
[Ren] Sorry to interrupt you all, but I just realized that Jose's star started glowing from inside my bag.
[Ren] Seems you'll get that ideal attack atmosphere after all, Makoto.
[Makoto] Oh yeah, didn't that also happen to Ann and Morgana?
[Ann] sure did! had no idea what it really meant at the time lol
[Makoto] Technically, we still don't know.
[Makoto] But the possible doubt will be far lesser if that's how it goes twice in a row.
[Scott] Calling it now, thats totally what the star does.
[Ren] I guess we'll see, but I've got a feeling that Scott's right.
[Ren] For now, though... everyone rest up so that we can give Kaneshiro everything we've got.
[Makoto] Well said.
--END LOG--
It seemed like the group chat was starting to slow down, so Scott just plugged his phone in and flopped down onto the bed. Three palaces almost down, who knows how many to go... the light in the attic was already off for the night, so he just closed his eyes and tried drifting off to sleep.
And probably would have succeeded, if it weren't for Morgana deciding to park his fuzzy ass on Scott's chest in the middle of goddamn June. Hell, it wasn't even the middle of it by now, now that he thought about it!
"Dude, it's too hot for this..." He mumbled, trying to gently persuade the cat off of him with his elbow, but Morgana stood his ground.
"Nah, I feel like sleeping on the top bunk tonight! That, and I wanted to ask you how you do it."
"Do what...?"
"You know, your incredible intuition!" He mewed, flopping himself into lying down. Which only made him even more like an extra-weighted extra-small blanket.
Scott squirmed a bit. "Quit makin' me feel like I'm about to drown in sweat, and I might just tell ya."
"It is getting kinda uncomfortable... yeesh, how do you humans do it?"
Morgana didn't leave the top bunk entirely, but he did relocate to the edge of the mattress that Scott's body wasn't already occupying. Still pretty warm, but a major improvement.
Implying you already know you're not human... eh, whatever.
"...It'd be hard to describe why I have a feel for this stuff without making your brain explode, so... I guess all you need to know is that this isn't my first rodeo in bullsh*t."
If he had eyebrows, he'd be raising them, but since cats don't have that luxury, he settled for giving Scott a look instead. "That... only brings far more questions than it does answers."
He shrugged a bit and rolled over. "I dunno what else to say, that sounds like a you problem."
"Ah, so you don't want to talk about it. You could have just opened with that, but whatever, I'll respect your privacy." The cat yawned, and rested his chin on one paw in front of him. "But you do know you can talk to us about that kinda thing, right? If this isn't your first time in a situation like this, that sounds like something that would weigh on you."
"Right, 'cause we're friends and sh*t... I'll tell you if I need to talk, yeah." Scott lied.
"Good, then my mission for the moment is complete!" Mewed Morgana, followed promptly by him closing his eyes and getting to work on the whole sleeping thing.
Below him, the bunk bed creaked as Ren presumably did the same.
--7/2-DAYS UNTIL PICS LEAK:7--
-DAYTIME-
"So, how are we going to do this?" Makoto asked, leaning on the hideout railing and looking out at the crossing below as she spoke, clearly nervous... but equally as excited.
It was finally the day that they were going to plan out the last details of their heist on Kaneshiro's bank, with the most important detail being the calling card.
"I tend to leave this part of the planning until the last minute, in case the circumstances change by the time we're ready to move out." Ren explained, which was to say he didn't have any idea either, but at least it was far more reasonable for him not to this time. "For example, if the line for Madarame's exhibit had gotten so long that it'd be impossible to put the calling cards on the wall we went with undetected, that'd be a lot of planning time down the drain."
"Plus, we have to make sure with 100% certainty that the target will see it, since it won't do a thing if they don't!" Added Morgana.
Makoto nodded, taking all of that exposition in and clearly already thinking about their next move. "And it'd have to be somewhere that would need to be addressed immediately, or else we'd have no way to tell when we would be able to steal it..."
"Damn, she's already got it down...!" Breathed Ryuji.
Scott rolled his eyes. "Ryuji's shock at people picking things up way faster than him aside, how are we gonna do this? Kaneshiro talks like he's running a legitimate business, but I haven't seen a single customer support office that we could mail this thing to."
Without skipping a beat, Makoto shook her head. "No, that's not going to work anyways. Even if he did have a public address for some unfathomable reason, whoever would be working there would simply think the card is junk mail or a prank, and it'd get tossed out before Kaneshiro would have a chance to lay eyes on it. Whatever we do needs to make a statement, one that'd be impossible for his gang to ignore."
Damn, she really DOES have this down already... did Ryuji actually just have a point?!
"I was thinking the same thing." Ren said with a nod. "It's not as stylish as coming up with a brand new method, but we could always just repeat our last two cards and put it up somewhere populated?"
"You're seriously taking style into account here...?" Makoto muttered under her breath before shaking it off and getting back on track. "That aside, I'd have to agree. Kaneshiro and his men primarily target Shibuya, so it would be hard to miss a calling card in your own turf. Not to mention, it doesn't get much more populated than Shibuya at rush hour."
"You're telling me..." Scott grumbled. Seriously, it was the middle of the day, and the weekend crowd was still damn near indistinguishable from the average weeknight commute's. Once it had hit a certain number of people, his brain just kinda gave up and stopped trying to guess how it compared to other times he'd been here.
Back on topic, Makoto's nervousness seemed to overcome her excitement by just the slightest amount here. "But won't we get noticed? Statistically speaking, it's bound to happen with just how many eyes could randomly land on us hanging up cards."
"Ehhh, it'll be fine! We've had a hideout here for a while now, and nobody's noticed us yet, right?" Ryuji clapped her on the shoulder in a way that was meant to be reassuring, but it really only made her jump. After a quick death glare, he awkwardly retracted that move.
"Morgana could help hang up some of them, but isn't Central Street too big an area for him to do alone?" Ann asked, fidgeting with one pigtail as she thought it over.
"Lady Ann's right, this form's way too small for me to manage that. A single wall is one thing, but an entire street?? I'd get squashed if I hadn't already collapsed from exhaustion not even halfway through!"
...He was being a little dramatic about it, but the cat did have a point. "We could try a cardboard box? In most cases I've experienced, people don't think twice about that, even if it isn't somewhere a box should be in the first place."
"Pretty sure that only works for Snake, Scott." Ryuji shot back.
"I believe we're overthinking this." Yusuke suddenly said, as if he had just come out of an enlightenment seminar. "After all, if we actively tried to hide what we were doing, we would be the only ones not sporting at least a somewhat casual demeanor in a lively shopping street. The human eye naturally gravitates towards things that don't quite fit an established pattern, knowing that is a valuable tool in creating a truly striking composition." He quickly caught himself before he accidentally started talking down an art rabbit hole. "What I'm saying is, by staying calm and simply going about our business like it's nothing unusual, we'll blend into the backdrop of the daily bustle."
It took a sec for her to think it over, but Makoto did end up agreeing with him. "That may be our best option... it's not exactly risk-free, but we can't guarantee anything safer, either."
"Nevertheless, it'd take a far sharper eye to discern the subtle details."
"Ryuji and I can do the heavy lifting for this, assembling a team too large would make it more likely for us to be noticed." She turned to Ryuji with an intense, commanding gaze. "Be sure to wear something baggy with large pockets. We'll be able to carry more cards, and it'll be easier to conceal the fact that we're posting them."
"Wh- but it's the middle of goddamn summer!"
Makoto's gaze just intensified in response.
"Jesus, alright, alright! Sweatsville station, comin' right up..."
"I'm guessing that means you're going to handle what's on the card too, then?" Asked Ren, leaning back on the railing and cocking his head a bit.
Makoto nodded. "I've got quite a lot I want to tell him, but I'll figure out a way to consolidate it all down to a card's worth of text."
"I'll send you the transparent image file of the logo I designed, and the background for each side." Yusuke said, already pulling out his phone and tapping through his gallery. "Should I recommend sources for the lettering?"
"...Maybe later."
While Makoto's phone was already blowing up with notifications from Yusuke, who was seemingly tapping out usage notes as well as just sending the calling card art, Ren looked between the team members with a satisfied smile. "If we can get the card made and posted tonight, Kaneshiro's thugs will see it in the morning when they start their rounds around Central Street. You all ready for this?"
"I mean, the heart-stealing is what matters, so I kinda have to be ready." Shrugged Scott. He wasn't exactly enthusiastic about much other than hitting another milestone closer to going home, but everyone else seemed to interpret it as him being committed to the justice the group was about to lay down and voiced their far more enthusiastic agreements.
"And I'm ready, too." Makoto was gripping the railing a little tighter now, staring out at the crossing like some kinda Kaneshiro-seeking missile ready to strike. "Since the old, obedient me is now dead... you could say I was reborn ready for this."
Notes:
...Jesus christ it's been four months?
BUT YEAH I'M BACK!! Gonna try to keep up the every other Friday schedule until I finish the Kaneshiro arc (Soon), take a mini hiatus from posting while I crank out a good chunk of the next arc, then return to the ol' every Friday structure. I don't wanna promise anything, but I'm gonna do my damndest to stick to that plan!
Chapter 59: Cleaning Out the Bank of Gluttony - Part One
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--7/3-DAYS UNTIL PICS LEAK:6--
-DAYTIME-
Shibuya's Central Street was just as busy as it always was, weekend or not, but today was different. Instead of people passing through en masse just to get to whatever they had planned for their day off, the street itself had become the attraction. Or, more specifically, the new decorations on the walls of the buildings that lined it.
"Look, weren't these posters involved in the Madarame scandal a while back...?"
"Come to think of it, yeah... who the heck are these 'Phantom Thieves' that always sign them?"
"Junya Kaneshiro...? I don't think I've ever heard of someone with that name, am I just out of the loop?"
"Whoever he is, he must have screwed up bad..."
Thankfully, it didn't seem like anyone noticed the cards being put up. Mishima's excited texts about calling-card related tweets hadn't started until that morning, and the tweets themselves weren't posted during the time when they could have possibly been caught on camera.
Now that they were more visible in the daylight, things were really ramping up. People were taking photos, speculating on what was going on, basically everything Scott had come to expect. The responsible party was hanging around close to the main crowd, hoping to get some kind of confirmation that Kaneshiro had been notified.
"Frankly, it's a miracle that we weren't seen." Makoto said, still shaking in anticipation and nervousness. "We have got to find a safer way of doing this in the future..."
Eh, it's probably just a plot convenience thing... but I can't really blame her, there's no way she could know that.
"I'm just glad I don't need to put that damn hoodie on again until winter comes..." Added Ryuji, fanning himself with a spare card. After Makoto stared at him doing that in shocked horror, he paused. "What? I can just say I took it off the wall!"
Yeah, that excuse clearly wasn't gonna cut it, so she snatched it out of his hand and threw it into the nearest trash can. "Still, it's far too risky to be seen holding the literal calling card of a criminal organization! How have you guys stayed hidden this long without me?!" She hissed with that shout-whisper you always see on TV.
"Jeez, alright, I'll just use my shirt, no need to get all pissy about it!" He hissed back, half-putting his hands up in surrender.
"Guys, look over there." Ren suddenly said, subtly pointing at someone hanging a short distance away from the crowd like they were. All traces of the squabble vanished just like that, which was admittedly pretty damn impressive, but there wasn't any time to squabble when they had a mafia to eavesdrop on, dammit!!
"Y-yeah, they're everywhere... callin' you out by name and everything, I dunno how they even got that!" Said the guy to a bluetooth earpiece he was wearing. If his phrasing wasn't already proof enough of his mafia affiliation, the slicked-back hair and gaudy leopard print button-up were both pretty dead giveaways. After a second of listening to whoever was on the other end (almost guaranteed to be Kaneshiro), he nervously took one of the cards off the wall to get a closer look. "...You're not gonna like it, boss."
After another second, he took a deep breath and looked down at the card. Seemed like it was time for him to face the music and let his boss know exactly what was on it...
Sir Junya Kaneshiro, the money-hoarding sinner of gluttony, we know exactly how you got your wealth. You scam people into a blackmailing scheme that forces your targets to give you everything they have in order to keep their loved ones safe from your threats. Not only that, but you exclusively target minors with these disgusting tactics. Because of this, we have decided to make you confess your sins with your own mouth. We will steal your distorted desires today without fail, though you're welcome to a feeble attempt in stopping us.
-The Phantom Thieves of Hearts
"A-and that's the end of it." Stammered Mafia Guy. "This is bad, right?? I mean, people're talking online about these, a-and we even found one on the car-"
He suddenly winced and put one hand to his ear, and while it was impossible to make out what was being said, the sound of Kaneshiro screaming at his guy was somehow loud enough for the Phantom Thieves to hear it themselves.
That last part of Mafia Guy's explanation made Morgana glare at Ryuji from Ren's bag, apparently scolding him for being reckless again.
"Hey, don't look at me, I didn't do that!" He insisted, loud enough Ann to shoot him another look for it. "Sorry..."
"He's right, that one was my doing." Makoto said casually, apparently failing to see the irony with her reactions just a minute ago. "What? I made sure no one was around first."
Scott sucked in some air through his teeth and grimaced. "I mean, sure, but you don't exactly have the best track record in succeeding at that. Hell, I would know!"
"T-that was one time!" She spluttered, clearly flustered.
"Hold on, we can worry about that later." Ren interrupted. "You guys feel that?"
That feeling of humidity-like tension was back again, this time presumably blanketing the entirety of Shibuya. At this distance, they weren't able to get a glimpse of the palace ruler's shadow, but there was no way that the treasure hadn't materialized as planned!
"Jesus, it's even worse on top of real humidity..." Scott mumbled, wiping his brow.
"Good thing the bank is air-conditioned... come on, let's get moving before Yusuke dies of heatstroke."
And with that, Ren whipped out his phone, and the Phantom Thieves' latest heist had officially started.
"Beginning Navigation."
It was surprisingly not that difficult getting to the depths of the palace again. Actually, it wasn't difficult at all, considering all of the guards had apparently deserted the place.
"Maybe they decided they weren't getting paid enough for this sh*t?" Duel wondered aloud, as they were dashing through the long hallway the still-solved massive lock puzzle had formed.
Panther nodded in agreement. "No way that hoarder's paying a living wage, I know I totally wouldn't stick around for something like this! Right, Queen?"
"..."
"Jeez, she's focused..."
That's what Panther muttered, but Duel wasn't so sure. It was more like she had something to say, but was waiting for the right time to say it.
Maybe it'll end up being a good thing...?
They finally stopped at the elevator down to the depths, and he got a better look at Queen's stone-cold face, lost in thought.
...Or not, that's always an option.
The palace's final room looked exactly the same as it did before... except the part that looked completely different, of course.
"Wh- when'd he put an entire safe door in here?!" Skull cried, gesturing at it with both hands for double the emphasis.
"Banks are known for tight security, right? Makes sense that the palace would change to better fit that description when it suddenly was under threat." Normally, Mona would probably be reminding Skull about the whole 'being quiet' thing, but they could all tell there wasn't much point in doing that... Since Kaneshiro and a few cognitive Mafia Guys were already there, just waiting for them to show up.
"I knew it... he was waiting to ambush us." Queen grumbled under her breath.
No shadow guards, though... guess Panther was half right about them ditching their posts?
But yeah, Kaneshiro's shadow had obviously seen them the second the elevator's doors had opened. He smirked at them, like they were all falling into his trap.
"You kept me waiting."
"You say that as if we have any reason to care about your schedule." Stated Fox, whose hand was already on his sword's hilt.
The ruler let out a slight chortle, as if he'd just heard some mildly funny joke. "Maybe not, but you will after I'm done with you. I'll admit that you have some real luck on your side that carried you this far, but that ran out the second you entered this room... and that's why you'll be working here as slaves to the bank for the rest of your lives."
"Luck?!" Queen scoffed. "There wasn't a single ounce of luck involved in our mission, we came to change your heart with skill and determination only!"
"Yeah, save the monologuing for your confession, asshole!" Added Skull, summoning his weapon and pointing it at Kaneshiro.
Unfortunately, that just made him laugh. The two Mafia Guys even joined in, even if it was just to be yes-men. "Ooh, a rusty pipe, I'm sooo scared~!" He cooed, doing an exaggerated lean back to really buff Kaneshiro's mockery stat. "You really think brats like your little ragtag crew of 'Phantom Thieves' can actually have a chance against someone this far above you?"
"The f*ck is that supposed to mean?!" Duel shouted. The heists themselves had become routine, but he still couldn't help the fact that these ruler's attitudes never failed to get under his skin.
"Come on, you know that all of the powerful beings prey on the weak! It's basic survival of the fittest, just applied as an investment strategy rather than nature."
"Seriously?! Look around you, we're about as far away from nature as you can get! Hell, we're even in the sky in a giant money vacuum, why would the laws of nature ever apply here?!"
"Because it works, dumbass!" He suddenly shouted, definitely pissed about getting called on his bullsh*t. "I used to be on the bottom of the food chain, flat fuckin' broke, until I crawled my way up by my bootstraps! I'm finally getting the prey I'm owed after working this hard!!"
"Enough. There's no point in arguing with a pitiful man who sees people as objects he's 'earned.'" Spat Queen, who was shaking again. But this time, it wasn't out of nervousness or excitement...
No, the way she was gripping her brass knuckles made it clear that these were shakes of rage.
The way Joker was eyeing Queen from his spot next to her also told Duel that he'd picked up on the same thing, and was ready to speed things up before they had a mental shutdown and/or manslaughter on their hands.
"She's right, we're going to be stealing your treasure no matter what you say." He said, summoning his knife and getting into a battle stance.
"Heh, fine by me! Just makes me kicking your asses happen sooner rather than later, and then I get to work you to the bone!"
That grin crept back onto Kaneshiro's face while he sized up the group in front of them like they were Christmas presents he was about to tear into. Jesus, apparently the thought had excited him so much that he was rubbing his hands together like a f*cking cartoon villain now.
"I'm gonna swarm you all until all the money you can get your little hands on is picked clean!!"
As soon as he was done with that sentence, Kaneshiro suddenly slumped forward.
"Yep, here it comes..." Skull said, readying his pipe. "The effed-up monstrosity."
Notes:
Shorter chapter this time around, but come on. That cliffhanger was too good to pass up.
Anyways, I'm glad to be back, and now that I've finally got my mojo back I'll see you all next next week with the second half of this heist!
Chapter 60: Cleaning Out the Bank of Gluttony - Part Two
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The first two palace bosses had Duel bracing for some huge inhuman thing, but that surprisingly didn't happen to Kaneshiro. Instead, his shoulders and back started to twitch. Twitches turned into contorting, then to bulging... it was pretty f*cking gross, even compared to the last two transformations.
"Wha- boss?!"
Mafia Guy One was the only one that could work up the guts to say anything, the others were either too busy gawking or thinking about just running for it.
As far as responses go, Duel could think of quite a few ways to do it that were way better than what actually happened, which was Kaneshiro's face melting off and hitting the floor as a pile of shadow goop.
Thank God he's slumped over right now, I do not want to see that in full HD.
That had only served to freak out his goons more, and when the bulge on his back finally burst open to reveal insect wings, the line had officially been crossed. The Mafia Guys all screamed, booking it to the elevator as Kaneshiro raised his head back up and just watched them flee with his new pair of bug eyes. Like, literally, they were a fly's eyes now instead of the yellow human ones they usually were.
"Tch... pussies, all of 'em." He grumbled, now with a slight buzz to his voice. Once his goons were all out of the room, he turned his attention back to the Thieves at hand. He was back to rubbing his hands together, and now in a more fly-like fashion. "I can take care of you dumbasses all by myself!!"
"I get it now... you're a fly on dirty money. Wasn't seeing that one coming, I'll admit." At first, Queen sounded calm, but that didn't exactly last long. She took off her mask, hopped onto Johanna, and revved her engine.
"Then I'll just have to SQUASH YOU RIGHT HERE!!!" She boomed, before the sound of her persona's engine drowned out anything else that could possibly be said.
Before Queen could finish her charge though, Kaneshiro hopped into the air and to safety, as he was able to use his new fly wings to, well, fly. Didn't seem like it should be possible with how tiny they were compared to the rest of him, but who gives a sh*t, right?
Well, Queen obviously did, but before she or anyone else could get in any shots with their guns, the center of the vault door popped open and Kaneshiro flew inside to safety.
"Come on, that's just cheating!!" Skull yelled, running over and emptying a shotgun shell into the door to see if that'd pop it open somehow. It didn't.
"We can't steal his treasure if he hides in there forever, can we?" Asked Fox, to which Mona shook his head.
"It's not like a palace ruler to just hide like this, they'd usually want to fight back to try and prove they're untouchable... so I don't think that's his plan."
Sure enough, the spinning rings on the vault door stopped one by one and allowed it to slide open, revealing...
"Is... that a f*cking robot pig?" Duel asked, frankly shocked. He didn't know what he was expecting from this fight, but this sure as hell wasn't it!
The speakers that acted as the pig's ears crackled to life. Unfortunately, they were going to have to listen to even more Kaneshiro bullsh*t. "You WISH it were just a lil' ol' pig! Nah, this is the bank's swine-model defense mechanoid, PIGGYTRON!"
"So it's a robot pig. Got it."
"WATCH YER DAMN MOUTH!!!" The sheer volume made the speaker-ears screech from the strain, forcing Duel to cover his ears for a second. "Piss me off even more, and I'll make sure ya die an ESPECIALLY painful death!"
Queen swung back around and returned to the Thieves on Johanna, turning back around once she had arrived so she wouldn't have her back turned on Piggytron. God, that name was so stupid.
"That thing's massive, it's going to hit us hard... but I think we can take it if we fight smart. Joker, do you trust me?"
"I do," he started, "but why did you make that sound like you're planning on sacrificing Mona to beat him?"
She shook her head. "No, he doesn't look nearly valuable enough."
"Wh- I'm right here, y'know!!" The cat yowled.
"Besides, we're going to need to save this strategy for an opportune moment... either an opening in his defenses or an attack we probably won't survive, most likely the latter."
With a quick nod, Joker seemed to already be working out their next moves in his head. "In that case... Duel, I want you to focus on finding that moment."
"Wait, me?!" Asked Duel. Did Joker just mispronounce Mona really badly, or was he just delegating this key part of their strategy to him?!
"You've got an eye for this kind of thing, remember how you spotted the paths through paintings back at Madarame's palace?"
"Well yeah, but that was because another game I know did the same thing!"
"...You also solve half of the puzzles we find in the Metaverse, so I don't think that argument really holds up."
Dammit, he's right...
Duel let out an exasperated sigh. "Alright, but if we all end up dying, I'm not the one taking the blame afterwards!"
That got a laugh out of Joker, but then he looked back to Duel with a slightly smug smile. "Relax, you'll do fine."
If he can afford to be smug right now, that must mean he had total confidence in Duel knowing when to strike, and that actually kinda reassured him. It was a total 180 from when he was yelling at Kaneshiro earlier.
Oh yeah, aren't we in the middle of a boss battle or something?
Something deep down in Duel's gut suddenly told him to get the f*ck outta the way. Before he knew it, he was leaping backwards and the spot he had been standing in mere seconds ago was now peppered with bullet holes. Wait, bullet holes?! Who gave the robot pig a gun???
As he got yanked into the air again by another gut feeling, he actually got a glimpse at the mech shooting at him. Piggytron's eyes were, upon closer inspection, f*cking made of gatling guns.
PETA's gonna have a field day with this guy once he turns himself in...
But for that to happen, they had to actually kick this pig's ass, which was shaping up to be a pretty big problem. Elemental attacks from the group's personas seemed to do some damage to the robot, but it definitely wasn't something they could keep up for long before someone got shot. If this were a bird they were trying to beat up, it would be a piece of cake for Duel, but a pig...? He had no idea what a pig's moment of vulnerability looked like! And Kaneshiro could tell, based on the cackling that was coming from the ear-speakers as the fight progressed.
"What's wrong, aren'tcha gonna hit me?! Oh wait, ya can't when there's twelve inches of trigger-happy steel in the way!"
This was bad... they were in a losing position, and their enemy knew it. It was just a matter of time until-
"Hey, dung beetle!!!" Queen roared. "Are you too pathetic to see that you haven't managed to hit us, either?! Or are those twelve inches of steel getting in your way, too?!"
"Why, you little- I'll show YOU twelve inches of steel!!"
Welp, at least our inevitable deaths will come faster this way. Good thinking, Queen!
To his surprise, though, the pig's weapons systems didn't do anything to respond to her. Instead, the door popped open, and a fuming Kaneshiro buzzed out and landed at the very top of the robot. While Duel wanted to take that opening and summoned his RPG, Queen held a hand out to stop him before he fired.
"I have a better idea." At least, that seemed to be what her look was trying to tell him, but it could have been telling him not to play Chibi-Robo Zip Lash and he would have no goddamn clue. At least he was way ahead of her if that second interpretation ended up being right.
Using his wings to hover in place at the very top of Piggytron (but not too far off the ground), it honestly took a few seconds to figure out what the hell Kaneshiro was doing. For the first few seconds, it looked like one of those Russian squatting dances minus the actual squatting part, but then the massive sphere of a pig began to rotate under him.
Oh my God, he's gonna Katamari our asses.
Sure, it was slow now, but if they gave Kaneshiro a chance to build up some momentum, they were gonna be in big trouble.
...Big enough trouble that it'd probably kill us.
"Queen, that master plan of yours would really come in handy right about now!!" Duel cried at her over his shoulder.
Somehow, her response of "Throw something valuable at him!" seemed to be completely serious. When all Duel could do was stare back in disbelief, she let out a frustrated groan and explained herself.
"He's a greedy bastard, remember?! He's going to prioritize grabbing something he can pawn off over killing off a group he thinks he's guaranteed to win against anyways!"
Wait, that did make sense! But now that they'd wasted time on that explanation, Piggytron's spinning momentum was really starting to pick up... he needed to decide on something to throw, and fast!
His eyes fell on the RPG he'd summoned a minute ago. But he couldn't just throw that away, could he...? A ranged weapon was an essential part of every Phantom Thief's loadout!
That said, they were gonna get hit with a huge orb of metallic doom any second now, since it was only getting faster with every second that passed. Despite his looks, Kaneshiro clearly hadn't been skipping leg day, and he couldn't exactly do anything with a complete loadout if he was dead.
Screw it, if the US blows billions on the military every year, this kinda thing must be valuable!!
Without giving himself enough time to hesitate any more, he wound back and threw his gun as hard as he could. It was much heavier than any Maddens he'd ever thrown, so it landed a bit short of Kaneshiro, but that ended up giving it the perfect spot for him to notice it from the top of Piggytron. The rolling stopped with a sudden and metallic screech getting made against the floor, and he scrambled back into the robot's interior.
Sh*t, is he not taking the bait?!
But a second after he closed it behind him, it opened again. This time, a vacuum had activated in the nose-door, using it to suck up the RPG before putting itself back upright.
"Ooh, this's beautiful! Must be some military-grade shit, I could sell this to the Yakuza for some seriously fat stacks...!"
...Kaneshiro never turned off the microphone he had been using to taunt the Thieves earlier. Maybe he didn't care enough to, or he just straight-up forgot as soon as something shiny had distracted him. Either way, his cooing at the 'find' was getting broadcasted to the entire room.
Way to rub it in, asshole...
Duel could just buy another, but that'd involve telling Iwai his last one was gone. And knowing him, that'd really hurt their 'working relationship...' f*ck, he'd probably just be another Skull-level casual in his eyes after that! Come to think of it, maybe he could dodge that bullet by just saying Skull broke it... wait, he was getting distracted from the boss battle again!
Or... not? When he zoned back in, the Piggytron was just kinda... sitting there. It sounded like Kaneshiro was busy calculating just how high of a price he could possibly scam someone into buying the RPG, in between more general rambling, a click, and his swooning over it being expensive-looking.
Wait, a click?
Kaneshiro went silent, but the microphone barely picked up a hissing noise.
No f*cking way.
He preemptively covered his ears, and sure enough, a deafening BOOM came both from through the robot's walls and over the speakers, making the latter also emit a high-pitched noise from the strain.
The pig keeled over as the door swung open, and the palace ruler tumbled out still holding the RPG. Yep, the boss just accidentally pulled the trigger while he was damn near fondling the thing. He staggered to his feet, cursing under his breath, already looking like sh*t from just one blow.
"Y-you... I'll KILL YA FOR THIS!!!" He howled, opening a hatch on the side of Piggytron and slamming a huge button simply labeled "MAKE IT RAIN."
A massive trapdoor in the room's ceiling opened, and a massive amount of gold coins and wads of cash came raining down on their heads. Duel was actually better off than most of the thieves thanks to his hat, but his shoulders and back weren't protected from the beating in the slightest. By the time it thinned out, Mona even had a cartoon-like bump on his head for a second before he called upon Zorro to heal everyone.
"Everyone alright?!" He yowled, and thankfully everyone nodded and grumbled affirmations in response, albeit a little begrudgingly after how much that ended up smarting.
Kaneshiro, on the other hand, was not alright. Well, he was physically spared from the hail by sheltering under Piggytron's curve, but that didn't mean he wasn't pissed. "Wh- how the shit was THAT not enough to finish ya all off?! Didn't ya see how much moolah I just threw in yer faces???" He screamed at them. To add insult to injury, the money on the floor seemed to be vanishing before their very eyes.
Come to think of it, Duel had never seen any remnants of any of the projectiles they fired at enemies, either. No charred remains of rockets, no stray bullets or casings, or even the... whatever the f*cks Mona loaded his slingshot with. Now that Kaneshiro was giving his savings the same treatment, it was vanishing like any other ammunition that was perceived as 'spent' in the Metaverse.
"Wha- MY CASH!!!" Kaneshiro shrieked, and his bug eyes even became bug eyes² for a moment.
Looks like this is his first time realizing that, too!
He scrambled over to the edge of the puddle of money, trying to scoop up as much as he could into his arms before it all was officially gone, but that wasn't stopping it from just vanishing in his grasp. Once he realized that, he just fell to his knees and stared as everything he had stolen from others got stolen from him, by him. Or, more specifically, by his own recklessness and arrogance around what he could do with that money.
Actually... not everything had vanished yet. one coin that had lagged behind the others finally came loose and fallen, hitting right against the top of Piggytron before disappearing as well.
The robot was clearly already on its last legs before that, but this was the straw that broke the pig's back. Its structure shuddered, before just f*cking exploding in a spectacular fashion. Kaneshiro was far enough away to not get blown up with it, but the last weapon he had on his side going up in flames probably almost killed him in a different way. By the time the blast cleared, all that was left in the still-smoking mess of rubble and random machine parts was a pile of pure gold bars.
"Of course... you could have had something clever, but someone as narrow-minded as you was likely always going to have a treasure to match." Joker said, shaking his head a bit in disappointment. When the guys breaking in to steal your sh*t are even disappointed in you, you should know you're doing something wrong.
And somehow, Kaneshiro finally did seem to get it. He still staggered over and held onto those bars like they were his lifeboat in the middle of the open ocean, but the arrogance from earlier was totally gone. He was finally starting to waver like the other two shadow rulers did once their asses were good and kicked!
"That was... surprisingly easy!" Duel commented, readjusting his hat and brushing off a couple still-fading coins now that the money storm was definitely over. "Kinda underwhelming, actually."
"S-shut up..." Kaneshiro whimpered, not even looking at the Thieves while he spoke. "I just did what I had to to survive in this world, you can't live without money...! You just... you just can't... it's not my fault it works like that..."
"Nobody made you blackmail kids who couldn't defend themselves." Queen said, getting off her bike. "You simply chose to not go into an honest living, because it wouldn't be good enough for what you thought you were owed."
"B-but how else was I going to get anywhere in this world?! If you're born weak, the strong just make sure you stay at the bottom, and I'm just another victim of that!"
Skull huffed at that. "Strong, weak... life ain't a game of rock-paper-scissors, the only one who made sure you'd stay a loser was your dumb ass!"
"Yeah, and you're far from the only one who's ever gotten labeled." Added Panther. "So were all of us, and we aren't just going to let that hold us back! Or what, do you think society itself told you that the only way to be happy was to scam kids?!"
"...No, it did not." Fox shook his head. "That's merely how he sleeps at night, while doing what he does. I'm sure that logic would have fallen apart if he had ever given it more careful thought, meaning it would no longer serve its purpose as an excuse to himself."
Before she voiced her own opinion, Queen stepped forward. Even from where Duel was standing, the way she loomed over their target was intimidating as f*ck... "But you don't need to worry about that anymore." She said, only thinly veiling the disgust in her voice. "After all, it won't matter what you try to tell yourself once you're locked up in a prison, it won't change your situation."
"And don't worry, we aren't a modern game publisher, getting your heart changed won't cost extra on top of the sixty bones you already paid." Duel added sarcastically.
Kaneshiro stayed quiet for what felt like forever. But eventually he finally nodded and let go of the treasure, letting himself just sit in front of them. That position wasn't a sh*tty attempt to guard it or anything, he was simply too overwhelmed with defeat to move somewhere else. If anyone tried to carry off a gold bar from the pile now, his only reaction would be to scooch his legs out of the way of the people doing it.
That said, despite whole-heartedly giving up a moment ago, the shadow shook his head in disbelief. "...But I still don't get it. You all have this incredible power, and you aren't even using it for yourself? Why aren't you using it to do something like rig the stock market by messing with CEOs? After all, there's already that other person running around, taking full advantage of that gift... they're living proof of what the Metaverse can do for you."
While Kaneshiro was talking, Joker had taken a step forward (no doubt moving to secure a piece of the treasure), but he stopped short when the words "other person" came out of Kaneshiro's mouth. "Hold on, what the hell are you talking about?"
"What, you don't know? You're not the only ones who can come and go from this world as they please, and they've been doing exactly what you could have done, consequences be damned... if a mental shutdown gets them what they're after, so be it."
"Well then, quit the exposition dump and give us some damn info!" Duel exclaimed. Seriously, why do so many story-based games love to cocktease people like this?!
"So you can try and 'change their heart,' I assume? That's adorable, but they'd just wipe out your entire group before you could even find the front door. I know you've got that naive justice you're all obsessed with, but trust me, not knowing's for your own good. It's the least I can do, since you're letting me live..."
Despite being utterly defeated inside and out, Kaneshiro smirked at them again. It was a half-hearted one this time though, like he genuinely pitied the Thieves for missing the 'opportunity' to do the same crap this other person is apparently doing.
Well, this was supposed to make him give up the scamming bullsh*t, so I guess it makes sense that his opinions about unrelated crap stuck...
Before anyone could gather their thoughts enough to press the shadow on the matter, he was gone in a puff of glittering white light.
And, of course, the floor rumbled.
Sh*t, this part again...
The palace was starting to crumble beneath their feet, just like usual. Joker finally snapped back into the present after the foreshadowing of what must be events to come, and started working on lifting one end of the largest gold bar in the pile.
"We don't have time to get out of here with all of these, somebody help me with this one and let's go!!!" He commanded, and Queen quickly ran over to pick up the other end with a surprising amount of ease.
Never mind the treasure being in multiple pieces, they had a bigger problem on their hands. "Where the f*ck did Mona go?! I can't exactly be a getaway driver without a catvan to drive!"
"Mrrroooowwwwww... treasure...! Beautiful, shiny, glittery treasure!"
Oh god, he was clinging to one of the other gold bars, just like when they were trying to steal Kamoshida's crown. They didn't exactly have the benefit of stable floors on their side this time, so Duel just groaned and resigned himself to grabbing the cat by the back of his bandana and yeeting him clear of the shiny stuff's area of effect.
Mona, being a cat, did safely land on all fours. I mean he had transformed in midair so they were tires instead of feet, but the idea was still the same, you know? "You can't just throw around a cat like that, you jerk!" He yowled, before blinking his headlights and realizing why he'd gotten thrown around in the first place. "...I'll let you off this time, though."
"Doesn't matter, we gotta go!!" Duel shouted, pulling open the driver's side door and hopping in. "Everyone hurry up or I'm leaving without you!"
"Ngh- save the jokes for later, Duel!" Queen grunted, before shoving the treasure into the back of the van with Joker's help and hopping in after it.
Once he could see everyone had piled into the Monabus, Duel started the engine. "Everyone got their seatbelts on?"
Skull let out an exasperated noise. "We'll fasten them while you drive, just GO!!!"
Eh, good enough for me!
With that, he put the pedal to the metal and tore outta there, complete with an ear-splitting screech coming from the tires. They'd gotten to the palace depths with an elevator that Mona definitely wouldn't fit into like this, and it was only a matter of time before its mechanism failed and trapped them, even if it was big enough to hold a van. No, their only option was to go through the only opening this bank had below the normal building half of the palace.
"Wh- Duel, wait, that's not where the elevator was!" Panther cried as he instead went straight ahead.
There was no time to explain himself when he was so focused on driving, but thankfully Queen and Joker seemed to not be freaking out at least. They probably were at least partially following his logic.
A chunk of one of the walls suddenly buckled and collapsed, revealing a new hallway that ran around the room in a vertical spiral. It wasn't hard to spot either, especially considering the wind blowing the occasional 1000 yen bill into the vault. Naturally, this was where Duel was headed. When the Monabus got inside it was clear that the wind was blowing against them, but it wasn't strong enough to blow them further into the palace, so he just kept on driving until-
Oh hey, the floor finally ran out!
You know that feeling in your stomach you get right before the first drop on a roller coaster? Yeah, everyone in the vehicle got one. And that was followed by the feeling that they were free-falling, which was pretty easily explained by the fact that they were.
Even Joker and Queen were screaming with everyone else by now, but Duel just grit his teeth and braced for impact. If he thought hard enough about surviving, the laws of the Metaverse would mean it would happen!
...At least, they probably did. He really didn't wanna be wrong about this, the other thieves would kill him if they died!
Notes:
Whoops
Okay I don't really have any crazy excuses for vanishing for 2 years like what you'd expect from this site, basically writer's block and schoolwork followed by forgor 💀 but what I DO have is a crazy excuse for coming back!
I live in the US and have, for reasons I don't even want to give the honor of mentioning (but you can probably guess what they are), I am officially Sick Of This Shit so I'm learning Japanese and working on moving to Tokyo now that I've graduated college. It's probably not happening anytime soon, but I'm gonna attend a language school for a few months this fall, so at least I'm getting a demo! If you start seeing what look like weirdly specific references in the fic, that's why! Honestly I might even translate this for practice at some point, but I'm not expecting that to have a ton of readers lol
Also, to everyone who's left kind comments during my hiatus, thank you so much. For a while there, I felt really bad for vanishing again (also happened on an older fic, but that one didn't really have a schedule) and I wanted to make damn sure I was back to a writing quality I was satisfied with. That idea got exponentially more intimidating over time, but now that the internet's in such a shitty state that I've taken up actually reading books again, I think I'm back in a groove! Hopefully it won't turn out like when I said I was back in the groove last chapter 🥀
See you guys NOT next week! (I'm trying some reverse psychology on myself, let's see if it works)
Chapter 61: Ryuji's Ass Gets Cracked
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The next thing Scott knew, everyone had landed in a pile near Shibuya Crossing. As in the real Shibuya Crossing, rather than the distorted version of it that was an extension of the palace. Wait, no, the semantics of what this area is isn't important now, because f*ck he was hurting all over.
"Ngh... is everyone alive...?" Ren croaked out from above him.
Since Scott had been the driver, he was the one who had taken the brunt of the fall, so chances were they were just as alive as he probably was. It took a second, but eventually he could feel the weight shifting above him, confirming his theory as everyone got to their feet. He even opened his eyes to Ren holding out a hand to help him up, which he gratefully accepted.
"...I get why you did that, but please never do it again." The team leader told him, with a look somewhere between scolding and relief.
Scott shook his head, which of course brought on a fresh wave of pain. "Ow... don't worry, I've got other hobbies."
"Agh, I think my ass is cracked..." Ryuji said, finally getting to his feet himself.
"I believe mine is alright..." Muttered Yusuke, looking over his shoulder to check. "Ann, what about yours?"
"Wh- no, why would it be cracked?!"
For some reason, Queen looked genuinely concerned. "If it isn't, you should probably get that checked out..."
Ann was about to give a flustered response, but Ren cut her off before she could.
"Wait, where's Morgana?!"
Oh sh*t that's a good point.
After a second of glancing around, Makoto's eyes widened. "O-over there, in the road!"
Scott followed her gaze, and sure enough, he was lying unconscious under a solid gold briefcase.
"Oh, that must be this world's version of the treasure! Quite a noble sacrifice Morgana has made for our sake..." Yusuke said, with a mournful tone to his voice.
Makoto elbowed him. "He's clearly still breathing, though! Dammit, the light's about to turn red...!"
"Hold on." Ren quickly adjusted his glasses, and then dashed out into the crossing.
Thankfully, it wasn't rush hour yet, so nobody got squashed by a truck. Once Ren had retrieved Morgana and the briefcase, the group retreated under a tree that was off to the side where not as many people were staring at them, despite the scene they had just caused nearby. Maybe that was just life in the big city, with a population this dense you were bound to see some weird bullsh*t happening to somebody eventually... and once you've seen enough weird things to get used to it, your only response is to stare for a bit before just shrugging and going on with your day.
"Well, that was one hell of an escape sequence..." Scott grumbled under his breath. He was definitely gonna feel that crash in the morning.
Ryuji glared at him. "Says the one who drove out the ass end of the palace!! The hell were you thinking, man?!"
He shrugged. "I wasn't in the mood to get trapped in a broken elevator today, so the vacuum hole was kinda the only exit I could take."
"Exit is a... generous way of putting it, but he's right." Said Makoto. "Haven't you ever seen those signs next to elevators saying not to use them if the building is on fire? Same idea."
"Yeah, but... urgh!!" After kicking the pavement out of frustration, Ryuji just decided to let it go. "You are so lucky we survived that."
Ann looked up from where she was checking over Morgana. "Still, a warning would have been nice... I guess there wasn't exactly enough time to give one, but I thought my heart was gonna stop for a second there!"
"Come on, the important thing is that we're out and also alive!" Scott said, crossing his arms. "Besides, aren't we gonna do anything about the treasure we just got our hands on? We probably still need to figure out how to open it!"
"It's a combination lock." Ren stated, after a cursory glance at the clamps of the briefcase. "No idea what that combination is, though."
Upon hearing that, Makoto's face lit up. "That might not be a problem, actually... but we need a safe place to open it first, there are too many eyes still on us thanks to our dramatic entrance."
"That'd be Leblanc, right?" Scott asked. "I mean, I guess there's technically the risk of Sojiro walking in on us, but he's never done that before, so."
"Leblanc...? What's that?"
Ryuji grinned. "Oh, you'd love the place! I mean, you probably inhale coffee all the time to keep your grades up, yeah?"
"...It's probably easier just to show her than to describe it like that. Come on, we'll need to get back to Yongen-Jaya first."
"NYAGH!!!" Yowled Morgana as Ann pressed a cotton ball to one of his scratches. "I thought you said you were gonna fix me up, not hurt me more!"
"Relax, it's just disinfectant! You don't think I'd actually do anything bad, do you?"
"W-well, not if it's Lady Ann..." The cat looked away and turned up his nose to show he wasn't happy about it, but him doing that did also grant Ann easier access to a scratch on his head.
Scott raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you the one who's always telling us how we have to respect our human bodies? Kinda hypocritical if you start cryin' as soon as you're the one getting care taken of."
"My body isn't a human one, remember?! I-I mean, it should be, but it's not one at the moment!"
Seeming to realize this conversation was quickly drifting into sensitive territory, Ren hoisted the golden briefcase onto the table with a bit of a thud.
"We can question the nature of Morgana's form once he's healed up, it's just kicking a guy while he's down until then. Besides, we've got a treasure to bust into, remember?"
That fact seemed to perk the cat back up! All of a sudden, he wasn't nearly as concerned about the paradoxical pain of first aid, the allure of shiny stuff was far more powerful a force.
"Ohhh, yeah... Makoto, didn't you say you knew how to crack open a lock like this?" Asked Ryuji, who was holding a cold soda can against a scrape on his forehead.
"I didn't quite say that, but I do know how to open it." She walked to the side of the table the combination was facing, and examined the lock. "That is, I'm not entirely sure this will work, but there's a fairly good chance it will."
The briefcase was propped up, Makoto twisted the numbers into place, and a few moments later, a satisfying click rang out. Wondering what the challenger to his puzzling master title had figured out, Scott leaned over to peek at the combination.
"...1234? You're kidding, right?"
She shook her head. "Surprisingly, I'm not. Remember when he was first blackmailing us, and he opened his briefcase to give that girl some money? In that moment, I distinctly remember thinking to myself that it was a terrible combination for protecting that kind of money. And as it turns out, both versions of this briefcase use the same code."
Yusuke nodded sagely, seeming to understand some fundamental truth at that moment. "I see... the briefcase was merely to support the composition of the piece that was his tough mob boss facade."
Huh, that actually made sense to Scott. If it was really secure storage he was after, wouldn't a safe be far more effective? But in a briefcase like this, it's always at arm's reach whenever the urge to flaunt and/or blackmail with it strikes. Though while he was thinking about stuff to make carrying around stacks of rectangles easier, he wondered if he should get one of these for his Wii Play collection once he got home.
"Well, now that we've got it unlocked..." Without any further ado, Ren set the briefcase flat on the table again, carefully undid the two latches one by one, and slowly opened it up.
Whatever he saw in there somehow managed to make him grind to a halt for a moment.
Wh- are his eyes bugging out?!
While Scott couldn't be sure if they were under those thick glasses (and the bottom half of his face was just as stoic as usual, which didn't really help), he at least was able to figure out why Ren was at least sorta shocked once the lid was fully open.
"Is that...?" Makoto breathed, echoing the shock that was now shared by everyone in the room.
All Ann could muster in response was a tiny nod. "Yeah, it is..."
The contents of the briefcase were just like its real life counterpart - which was to say, chock full of cold, hard cash.
"The band states that each stack is one million yen..." Said Yusuke, as he quickly did some mental math. "I can immediately see fifteen stacks, and I believe there's also room for a second layer underneath..."
While he hadn't often gone over numbers in the millions in it, Scott had played enough brain age to know what that totaled up to, and that almost made his eyebrows jump off his face.
"That's thirty million yen...!" He muttered, thinking of all the things he could buy with that kind of money. Even if he had to chop off a couple zeroes thanks to the exchange rate, he could expand his rice cooker collection, succeed in buying the rights to socks, maybe even get himself a front door to go with his doorknob! That last one was a big maybe on whether he'd splurge that hard or not, but the possibility was there, and that was the important part.
"That's... a little less than five million for the seven of us." Damn, this must be one of the biggest reactions they'd ever seen Ren have. His composure was surprisingly holding up, sure, but his hands were shaking a little. That was like a category 5 earthquake for this guy!
Out of everyone around, Ryuji was the first to break the shocked tension in the room. "Hell yeah, I'm gonna be eatin' good for the rest of my life!!! Deluxe beef bowls, ramen with all the fixin's, steaks... shit, I gotta start making a list of what I wanna get first!"
"I could buy a canvas the size of a room, and enough paint to create the greatest work this world has ever seen! Something that captures every medium, every style, with enough room to give each moment of art history a moment to shine...!" It seemed like he was gonna go on, but Yusuke was forced by the sheer force of his emotions to stop and wipe a tear of joy from his eye.
Out of everyone, Morgana seemed to be the most excited. "The biggest and juiciest tuna in the whole fish market, all mine to enjoy..."
"You're gonna spend over four million Japan dubloons on a single fish?" Scott asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, yes I am. And it will be well worth the money."
"I guess you're easy to please, seeing all of this and deciding you wanna blow your chunk of it on that." To emphasize his point, Scott took one of the stacks out of the briefcase and held it up.
Actually, now that I'm looking at it up close, something about these looks kinda familiar...
"You guys ever notice the guy on the ten thousand yen bill looks exactly like Kaneshiro?"
The room went quiet again.
"...Scott?" Makoto tentatively asked. "Can I see that money you're holding for a moment, please?"
He shrugged and handed it over. It was a little weird that she sounded so serious about getting that specific stack, since they'd all get a share regardless, but he couldn't talk when he was the kind of guy who cared about the condition of his copy of Minute to Win it.
After an oddly long time of close examination, Makoto haphazardly tossed it back into the briefcase with a disappointed sigh. "It's fake. Aside from what Scott just pointed out, it claims to be from the Children's Bank of Japan."
Wait, what?! "That's not just how bills look??? Ryuji, hand me a bill, I gotta see if she's right!"
"S-shit, for real?! But I was already halfway through my list!" Ryuji took out his wallet and handed Scott a 1000 yen bill to inspect, possibly because he hoped that Makoto was wrong and they were all just the victims of some Berenstain Bears sh*t.
Welp, there went the hopes Scott had of really branching out into rice cookers... Not only was this real bill completely devoid of the word 'children's,' but it was made of a much nicer paper than the ones in the briefcase. He shook his head in disbelief as he tucked it into his pocket.
Meanwhile, the rightful owner was f*cking distraught. "You're serious...? Hey wait, that's still my money, you jackass!!"
"I think he's just as shell-shocked as you are, just look at his face." Said Ren. "He probably just did that on auto-pilot..."
All the anger he had a second ago just vanished in an instant, and he slumped over in the chair making some weird half-cough half-sob sound. "Screw it, I just lost like four million, what's a thousand more...?"
"I mean, you didn't lose money if it was never real to begin with, right?" Ann asked with a half-hearted smile. "Besides, you know what they always say, maybe the real money was the friend we made along the way!"
"The... real money...?" For a moment, Makoto looked like she had realized the cash was fake all over again, but in the next moment she had burst out into laughter. "Ah... the idea that the Phantom Thieves of Hearts that are taking down corruption from within talk in lines from children's books when they're done, that's too funny!"
"Well, she's not exactly wrong, we did get a powerful new ally thanks to this job." Morgana was obviously still disappointed as all hell about this, even if he was trying to keep his cool.
"That's true..." Scott started. "But I think we might still get some dough outta this. I've cracked open enough collector's editions to know a cheapass case when I see one, and this one's actually pretty nice. Hell, you can store way more water in this thing than you could in a Call of Duty canteen!"
Upon hearing that, Ryuji stood up, grabbed the briefcase, and flipped it over to empty out the stacks of bullsh*t money. "Then we'll sell it, problem solved!!" He said quickly. "I already got my heart set on goin' out for a deluxe beef bowl, you guys were probably thinkin' the exact same thing, it all works out!"
"Didn't Yusuke say something about getting a big canvas for some kinda magnum opus?"
"Hey, do I ask you to keep paying attention to me when you're making meat plans?"
Scott frowned. "I really hope that isn't slang..."
"Nah, he's too much of a meathead to mean anything else." Clarified Ann. "In more ways than one!"
"You know what? I'm gonna own that name now, just 'cause it's true!" Ryuji said with one of his big grins.
Morgana scoffed. "Never thought I'd see the day where you'd admit that, but I'll take it."
"Shaddap, you know what I mean!"
In any case, Ren nodded and closed the now-empty briefcase. "Scott, can you take this to Untouchable next time you go? And as for what we'll do with the money, we'd better wait to decide until after Kaneshiro confesses. It wouldn't be a proper celebration if we jumped the gun like that."
Makoto cocked her head a bit. "Celebration? Is that something your team does after a heist?"
"Sure is!" Said Ann. "First, we went to this great buffet, and after that we had a hotpot party up here!"
"Indeed. I must say, I'm very much looking forward to seeing what we do next, especially since I missed out on the buffet..." Yusuke added.
"Try to make it somethin' where I'll be able to see the whole time, alright? I already have enough trouble with chopsticks when my glasses aren't foggier than the first Silent Hill game." And just to make sure everyone got Scott's message, he pushed them up by the bridge for emphasis.
"Good point..." Ren put a hand on his chin. "Everyone, try to keep that in mind when making suggestions."
"Aww, but then I won't get more pics of you two trying to feel your way around!" Ann pouted.
"I'm sure Scott will trip on something anyways, you'll likely get something on camera by the end of the night."
"Wh- hey!! I could always tell Iwai that I wanna sell this thing off for dirt cheap, got it?!" Was it ethical for Scott to hold the party budget hostage like that? Probably not. Did the others bring it upon themselves? Abso-f*cking-lutely!
"Just kidding." Ren said with one of those small smiles of his. "Regardless, we should probably wait until the briefcase is sold off to make any real plans. That way, we'll have a solid number in mind for what we can do."
"Yeah, yeah... I'll let you know what I end up getting for it, then."
By then, Ann had finished patching Morgana up, and closed the first aid kit with a small click. "In that case, the rest of us better get home and take a breather. I dunno about you guys, but my heart's still pounding from that fall..."
"Right," Their leader nodded. "You guys go rest up. After a fight like that, I'd say we've earned it."
Notes:
Thank you guys so so much for all the kind comments on the last chapter, It's good to be back! :D
See you guys next week!
Chapter 62: You Better Not do Math Like a Bitch for This!
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--7/4-DAYS UNTIL PICS LEAK:5--
-EARLY MORNING-
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Makoto] I have an update.
[Makoto] Kaneshiro is now in custody.
[Ryuji] damn already?? that usually doesnt happen til the last minute
[Makoto] He's yet to give a cohesive statement, though.
[Makoto] My sister thinks he did it so that he wouldn't face retaliation from his associates.
[Scott] That does make sense, this is the mob were talking about
[Scott] A confession like that would Definitely be enough to "disappear" a guy over if ya catch my drift
[Makoto] I do indeed.
[Makoto] Also, shortly before he was taken in, I received a message stating that our debt has been called off.
[Makoto] He's deleted the photos of us, as well.
[Ren] That's a relief.
[Ryuji] yeah i was really not looking forward to having even more shit spread about me than i already get :/
[Makoto] Still... something's bothering me about this.
[Ann] there is? what is it?
[Makoto] Do you all remember what Kaneshiro's shadow told us before vanishing?
[Ren] About the one using the Metaverse for their own gain? Yes, it's been on my mind as well...
[Scott] Oh yeah that
[Yusuke] Do you all think it could be the one in the black mask that Madarame mentioned?
[Scott] Its not like theres anyone else it Could be
[Ann] so whoever it is already knows we exist, but not the other way around...
[Ryuji] well duh, were the ones putting out the cards that say what were about to do!
[Yusuke] Regardless, this isn't a good position to be in, especially considering what Kaneshiro said about them.
[Ren] Right, I don't like it either...
[Makoto] Do you think they have had anything to do with the many mental shutdown incidents recently?
[Scott] Yeah probably
[Makoto] I thought so.
[Makoto] This is quite worrying...
[Ren] Agreed. Still, there isn't really anything to be done right now.
[Ren] What we do know is that our mission seems to have been successful.
[Ren] We can't be entirely sure until a formal confession is made, but the fact that he's already turned himself in is a very good sign.
[Ren] Besides, we can't just quit using the Metaverse now, knowing the kind of good we can bring with it, right?
[Makoto] That's true...
[Ryuji] and we also cant stick it to akechi if we quit usin it!!
[Ryuji] i mean we just got a guy the cops couldnt get, even though they were tryin to for once!
[Ann] not to mention the courage we're giving people...
[Yusuke] It seems our views on the matter are unanimous.
[Scott] Were a pretty wacky cast of characters, it would probably be pretty easy to track us down even With masks on
[Scott] If they wanted us caught, we would be by now
[Scott] F*ck, makoto already pulled it off, and she didnt even know what a metaverse Was until we took her on a field trip there!
[Scott] Not like thats a good thing either but i mean. The point is i would prefer to not be in prison if i can avoid it yknow
[Ren] He's right, there aren't too many friend groups like ours, even in a city this large.
[Ren] If I had to guess, it's either that they don't care enough to say anything, or they're plotting something that involves us.
[Ren] And if it's the latter, they'd likely need to reveal themselves to pull it off.
[Ren] Either way, I don't think we're in any danger from them for now.
[Makoto] You're right.
[Makoto] I can't keep being afraid to do what I know is righteous, after all.
[Makoto] Thank you, for reminding me of that.
[Ren] Anytime.
[Makoto] Now that we're finished with this topic, you all should focus on getting ready for school today.
[Ryuji] dont remind me, dammit,,
--END LOG--
--7/9-DAYS UNTIL PICS LEAK:0--
-EARLY MORNING-
Scott yawned as he chipped away at their daily curry breakfast. If past trends kept up, today would be the day that Kaneshiro's change of heart finally kicked in, so he had a little trouble sleeping the previous night.
Didn't help that Morgana had insisted on being so damn warm, either...
That aside though, he was one more step closer to going home if he was right, and that was far more important than some lost sleep. He could always just go into a coma to catch up when he got back, and maybe talk about the Wii U in a dream while he was at it!
"And in other news, the new Detective Prince was spotted at-" The news anchor on the TV suddenly stopped in his tracks and put a finger up to his earpiece. "Wait, seriously? Not even a commercial break to brief us? What's so important that-" Another stop, this time joined by the anchor's eyes getting as wide as Gamecube discs. Those aren't particularly wide, but when compared to your average eye? Yeah, that sh*t was huge.
"This is just in, we've just received word that the phishing ring in Shibuya has just been shut down. The authorities have arrested- and the teleprompter is literally updating me on this as we speak, it's that sudden- a man named Junya Kaneshiro as the culprit. He turned himself in according to the police, confessed to running everything this morning, and is being transported to a high-security prison as we speak. We'll keep you posted with details as they..."
"Seems like your guess was right on the money again, Scott!" Morgana meowed. "It's a shame we didn't get to see the confession ourselves, but I guess it makes sense that it wouldn't be broadcast publicly when it's a major part of a criminal investigation."
As Sojiro poured himself another cup of coffee (likely to prepare himself for the myriad of customers that were going to bug him about it that day), he raised an eyebrow at Morgana.
"The cat's awfully interested in the news." Even though he couldn't hear anything other than meowing, that probably was an oddly high number of meows for a cat that wasn't asking for food or attention.
Scott shrugged and scooped another bite of curry into his mouth. "Probably 'cause of all the motion going down on the screen, cats love that sh*t."
While he probably would have begrudgingly left Sojiro alone for calling him that, since he had no way of knowing, Scott was not immune to a death glare from the cat.
Come on, I'm trying to cover for you here!! You're the one always on our case about being loud, remember?
While he couldn't say what he was thinking out loud when the reason he was doing that covering was in earshot, he hoped his incredibly readable face would do the trick. Based on how Morgana looked away with a pout, it must have actually worked! (Jesus, he really was an open book...)
The chief just shrugged and turned back to his newspaper crossword. "If you ask me, the idea of a cat commenting on the news is cuter, so I'm just going with that."
"By the way, we might be a little late getting home from school tonight." Ren said like there wasn't a major news story breaking before their eyes. "We'll be hanging out with friends."
There was a beat of silence before Sojiro looked at them with a weird look in his eyes. "Didn't you say that the last time some nutjob cracked on the news?"
That shocked Scott so much, he nearly choked on his curry and started hacking up a lung as Ren patted him on the back.
Sojiro put down his coffee mug and paper, and had his arms half-raised like he was gonna somehow give Scott the Heimlich from the other side of the counter, but put them back down when he realized his airway still had enough room to cough with. "Jesus, no need to get yourself killed, I was only joking... thought the idea of some small-time punks like you planning to start up a new phishing ring now that there's an empty seat was funny."
Finally getting that cough under control, Scott took a breath. "Says the guy who keeps saying he's gonna promote us to homelessness if we even think about trying to start sh*t!!" He cried.
Not having a rebuttal for that, the chief made a slightly sheepish "hm" sound and took a sudden renewed interest in his crossword.
"...Thanks again for taking us in, by the way." Ren told him.
Dunno why he'd bother saying that with how hard he's been working us, but whatever...
-AFTER SCHOOL-
The vibe at Shujin was off today, between the talk of the Phantom Thieves striking again, and the air of tension hanging over the building. Scott was pretty sure there hadn't been any new calling cards around there, but he saved the question for later. Seemed like a bad idea to bring it up there, especially so soon after the Ryuji Incidents... and they were going to be meeting up after school anyways, so he'd probably just end up repeating himself later.
Maybe it's just me... could be that some other timeline I'm in collapsed recently, that seems like the sorta thing I'd be able to get a weird feeling about. And if that's what it is, some other me's probably already talked to a wall about it, so I'll just leave dealing with it to him!
Speaking of which, the future tense wording in their meeting plans was about to switch to present tense, since they'd just arrived at the usual spot! Ryuji reached up and waved excitedly as he and Ren approached their walkway, at least until Ann gently pushed it back down with an annoyed expression.
"Could you quit trying to bust us for once...?" She grumbled
"Hey, can ya blame me? A totally rotten dude just got wrecked, you can't tell me that's not awesome!" At least Ryuji wasn't pointing out why Kaneshiro had been wrecked... a small improvement, but it was something! "Not only that, but it sounds like the cops caught a bunch of the other assholes running that shit this morning, nobody's gonna try picking up where Kaneshiro left off after that!"
Yusuke nodded. "Indeed. I'm sure there are quite a few people celebrating today, given how established his scheme was."
After unzipping his bag enough to let Morgana pop his head out, Ren set it down on the floor and leaned himself against the railing. "Right, this isn't just a win for the Phantom Thieves. Buuut, that doesn't mean it isn't also a win for them." He said with a small smile.
"With all those phony debts trashed, people can start going back to spending that money on video games! After all that bullsh*t, it'd be a great way to unwind." Added Scott, as he took up a spot on the railing too.
"And to top it all off, Akechi's talk earlier about us sidestepping the law just got a whole lot weaker! Pretty hard to say you're better than 'em when they're catching the guys he can't, right?" Seeming to remember something, Ryuji dug his phone out of his pocket and opened it to #PhantomThieves on Twitter. "And check this out, the net's going crazy about it!"
The other members leaned in to get a better look. There were still a good few skeptical comments mixed in, but just as many people seemed to be losing their doubts. Two incidents could have been a coincidence, sure... but now it was a pattern, and the public was starting to realize that. Hell, there was even the occasional fancam of their cards and logos that passed by as Ryuji scrolled through the tag.
"That's amazing!" Grinned Ann. "They're always giving people better and better reasons to keep hope in their hearts, maybe it'll inspire more change in places they miss!"
Right, they had to use third-person to refer to their team in public now... "They've got to find a better hideout, though... one where they don't have to speak in riddles all the damn time."
"Good point... Miss President probably won't want it staying here, either." Ren paused, and glanced around. "Where's Makoto, anyways?"
Ann straightened up. "Oh, right! I was going to come here with her, but she said she got called into the principal's office to discuss her investigation. She said she was going to officially step down as his detective while she was there!"
"Good for her." He said with a smile. "We should all do something nice soon. You know, to celebrate her being added to our friend group."
"Ohohoh, I got an idea!" Ryuji was about to shoot his hand into the air and wave like a hyped-up maniac again, but Ann pushed his arm back down (and a lot faster this time). "Shit, right, sorry... but there's a fireworks festival coming up on the 18th, ain't that kinda perfect for this??"
Tilting his head to the side a bit, Morgana looked up at him from his spot in Ren's bag. "You sure about that? We really should be keeping our celebrations more low-key, especially now..."
"It's what everyone else is doin' this time of year, right? And it'd probably be more weird if we didn't wanna show the guy who's new to Japan a Japanese festival!" He motioned to Scott when he said that last part.
"Fireworks, eh...? America's got the 4th of July, but it's honestly one of the more underwhelming holidays, if you ask me. The copious amounts of burgers and hot dogs are cool and all, but you hear random bangs basically all month." He crossed his arms, remembering how annoying it was trying to carve his Halloween watermelons in advance through all of the sudden noises.
That got Yusuke's attention. "I think you'd love it, Scott. I'm not sure how they compare to the fireworks you're used to, but Tokyo's fireworks are an excellent showcase of summer's beauty. Hopefully we can find some street food stalls, too..."
"I think this one's just a show, but we can always get grub from somethin' nearby if we want to!" Ryuji pointed out.
"Additionally, many attendees will be wearing a yukata. That's a sight you likely haven't gotten to see before, yes?"
Scott shrugged. "No objections here."
"Hold on, I'll let Makoto know!" Digging her phone out of her pocket, she dialed Makoto's number. "She's probably done with that meeting by now, since she's mostly there to tell the principal to- ah, hey!!" Ann said with a grin as her theory got proven correct. "We were just talking about how we were gonna celebrate, what do you think about going to that fireworks festival coming up?"
Suddenly, as she was listening to the other side of the line, Ann's face fell. Huh, was Makoto not interested or something...?
"Hold on, lemme put you on speaker..." She mumbled as she solemnly tapped a button and turned the phone to face the others.
"Thanks, Ann." Came Makoto's crackling voice. "Guys, don't forget we have exams starting on the 13th. Getting bad grades would come with unwanted attention, so you all better make sure you pass."
Sh*t, was that where all that tension at Shujin was coming from?? That's weird, guess it's not exclusive to calling cards, then...
"Well, aside from Morgana and Yusuke, of course. But for the latter, I'll also expect you to do well when you do end up taking them! If any of you fail a single exam, you're NOT coming. Understood?" Her voice was firm, despite not actually being their boss here. That said, it didn't look like Ren was planning to try vetoing her, either...
Thank f*ck I've got Anna covering for me, it doesn't sound like she's going to be open to negotiations here...
"Yes, ma'am..." Ryuji groaned, getting the same gist as Scott was.
On the other hand, Yusuke wasn't nearly as bothered by the condition. "You don't have to worry about my grades. I never know where the next bolt of inspiration will strike me, so neglecting my studies would only mean I'm likely missing some. History and language arts are especially good sources, but I've never really struggled with any subjects."
"Good. As for the rest of you, I at least expect mediocrity, so you better not let me down."
"Mediocrity I can do!" Scott grinned and gave the phone a thumbs-up, even though it was just an audio call.
"Really, you should be aiming higher than that." Makoto sighed. "But I suppose that'll do this time, since this is on short notice... anyways, I'll definitely be there, and hopefully the rest of you will be too. And... good luck, Ryuji."
"Wh- hey!! Scott's just as bad as I am, why am I getting singled out?!"
"He's not completely stupid, I'll give him that much, just needs to figure out how to apply it outside of the Metaverse and video games."
"Mannn..."
"That said, now that you've all got something to work towards, the idea of studying should become much easier to bear. If anything, you should be thanking me."
"We'll do our best!!" Said Ann, though she did sound a bit nervous. "Assuming none of us bombs a test, we'll see you there!"
"Right. If you just put in the work, you should do fine anyways! But we're all going to need time to study, so I'll be hanging up now. Oh, and text me if you need recommendations for practice material!"
And with that, the call ended.
"Welp, there goes my chance of catching a break between the palace and exams... man, why do adults gotta care about grades so much?!" Ryuji complained.
"I mean, you're super loud about everything you do, so living off tax evasion definitely isn't gonna work in your case. As much as it sucks, employment's your safest bet!" Maybe that was a bit mean to Ryuji, but Scott couldn't help but be a little smug about it.
"Eh, if you're making it work, I probably could too..." Looked like he was genuinely considering it.
Wait, what's with that emphasis?!
Ren put a hand on Ryuji's shoulder, probably to emphasize his point, though he did look a little sympathetic. "Doing real crimes sounds like a great way to get busted for our non-crimes, so better not to risk it."
"Dammit..."
Notes:
Okay so no chapter next week, I've been rereading the fic to refresh my memory on it and now that I'm seeing it with fresh eyes, holy shit this is in Dire need of editing 🥀
Like were the spaces where italics meet punctuation always there, or did AO3 update something that added them?? I feel like I'm going crazy here, but I'm writing this fic so I guess I already kinda am dfjsdlfjsdSo yeah hopefully I'll be back the week after that, but this is a longass fic so I'm not sure if I can pull that off between the Japanese practice I've been doing. Regardless, I'm not going out for milk again, especially after Mario Party 3! Bro fully revived my STW brainworms AND gave me a gold mine of chapter titles at the same time, also I'd just feel bad for ditching this again 😭
EDIT - 9/4/25: I've finally escaped the editing trenches!!! But I still need to actually write the next chapter, so yeah gimmie another week lol
Chapter 63: Studying is Infamous for What it Does to People, Like Malaria
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
--7/10--
-DAYTIME-
It was a Sunday, so that should have meant Scott got a chance to sleep in, but their landlord had other plans. Obviously Ren was handling all of the cooking and brewing, but Sojiro had stuck Scott with checking inventory, after somehow catching wind that it was another job he couldn't mess up.
Dammit, why'd he have to figure out that I've got experience in keeping track of huge shelves of stuff??
Keeping track of all this was turning out to be way more complicated than remembering how many copies of FlingSmash he owned, too... and Sojiro was probably going to be on his case for doing it all in English, since people around him seemed to totally miss that he hadn't written anything in Japanese since getting there, since his IM messages seemed to translate themselves as they got sent. Though, maybe he could bring up that stroke order thing he (barely) figured out from that Japan-only DS calligraphy trainer, with the big brush-like stylus?
I mean, "I've got a dub automatically going in my brain at all times" definitely won't fly, wouldn't even if I could say that without it getting edited.
One, two, and three were the only characters he'd figured out for real, and even that was only because they were incredibly self-explanatory. Everything else, though... the point was, he had no idea how to write, and no easy way to explain it. Sojiro was just gonna have to deal, it wasn't Scott's fault Anna's translations didn't have every function under the sun!
Speaking of Sojiro, he got a call at the counter as Scott was struggling to give a sh*t about checking the amount of beans in jar number way-too-high.
He took the ringing phone out of his pocket and answered, holding the phone to his ear by the top, for some reason. "Hey, what's up?" The chief asked, in a cheerful voice Scott rarely heard from the guy. As in, so rare that he could probably count the number of times he'd heard it on one hand, and it was never aimed at the attic-dwellers or his customers when he did.
"Not right...? That's the model the store recommended to me, is there something wrong with it?"
Model? That didn't sound like a gift he'd be getting for the ladies he claimed to be so popular with... and even if it was, Sojiro wouldn't be nearly this chill about the recipient nitpicking about something that specific.
Hell, I haven't had any actual breakfast food in months because of that attitude!
Scott pretended to keep trying to get a decent read on those beans as he officially started eavesdropping, instead of just overhearing.
"...So it might do, but you're not sure... you said it isn't vibrant enough, maybe a different brand of ink would work...?"
A voice that sounded pretty high-pitched responded, but Scott couldn't make out what they were saying. For a guy his age, Sojiro kept his phone's volume surprisingly low.
"Laserjet...? Sheesh, the salesperson coulda mentioned that before I got ink to go with it, but I guess that's what happens when they've got quotas to meet... I'll be right over, sounds like I'm gonna need more details to really find what you're after."
This mysterious person was after a printer, Scott realized. While the chief sounded slightly annoyed, it was clearly directed at the price of printer ink instead of the fact that he was gonna have to go to the trouble of swapping a printer. Those things aren't light, yet it was something he suddenly had all the patience in the world for.
Sojiro, patient...? That might be one of the craziest things I've seen in this game so far.
He hung up, and turned in the general direction of his two part-timers. "You guys are gonna need to look after the store for a bit. If I'm not back before closing time, make sure to lock the place up for me."
While Ren sorta looked like he wanted to ask what the f*ck that was about, he nodded instead. "Got it, I'll make sure Scott doesn't repaint the kitchen again."
"I appreciate it..."
Jesus, you accidentally cook up a bomb ONE time...
--IM LOG--
-Team F*cked-
[Ryuji] yo renren, whatre you and scott up to rn?
[Ren] We're holding down the fort at Leblanc, Sojiro had something to attend to.
[Ryuji] in that case.......
[Ryuji] were on our way! :P
[Scott] What
--END LOG--
Ren tilted his head to the side from his usual spot behind the Leblanc counter. "Huh... he went offline. Doesn't look like anyone else is on, either."
"Well, that's kinda suspicious... maybe he's trying to use us for free curry?" After all that talk about meat planning earlier, Scott wouldn't have been surprised if he was trying to make up for lost food. It definitely wasn't the coffee he was after, that's for sure.
"The use of 'we're' makes me think he's got something else in mind. I know Makoto wouldn't sign up for a plan like that, at least... but then again, maybe she's offline for some other reason..."
So in other words, you wouldn't past any of the others. Eh, I'd probably do the same thing if I weren't already eating it every morning.
Even Ren himself didn't seem too bothered about the idea of the others having an ulterior motive like that, seeing how he was glancing over at the fridge. "Maybe I should start a fresh batch..."
Turned out he didn't have time to, because the little bell above the door let them know that everyone, Makoto included, had just arrived.
"Yo, guys! We're here to hang out!" Ryuji greeted them with a big grin on his face... a little too big actually, even for him.
Ann rolled her eyes. "We're actually here to study for finals, don't let him fool you."
"It was going to be a surprise, but I realized we might be imposing when I remembered that you live in a cafe. Though truthfully, I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing here, too..." Makoto added.
"Mannn, I was hopin' you guys would forget about that part..." Now that his cover was blown, Ryuji suddenly looked a whole lot less enthusiastic to be there.
"We're all in this together now, yes?" Asked Yusuke. "Exams are on a similar stress level to an actual battle, so working together to overcome it is exactly how a team like ours should handle it, especially when it's to cover the weaknesses of certain members."
Ren smiled again, with another hint of pride. "Yusuke's right, that's the best part of being in a team like ours to begin with." He paused. "That, and it'd be nice to have a reliable way to check if we're understanding the material..."
"I guess I can't argue with that logic. But, if you're asking for my help, you'd better be prepared to receive my help. Got that?" For that latter half, Makoto specifically looked at Ryuji.
"No slackin' off, alright..." He grumbled.
Scott frowned in Makoto's direction. "What are you, the Jillian Michaels of studying?"
After he'd gotten that note from Anna May, Scott figured that he could phone in everything school-related in Persona 5. And that was still mostly true, but it wasn't looking like he could this time. Not with Makoto's watchful eye involved. Between that, and how close together everyone was as they crammed themselves into fitting around one single booth table, just pretending to take notes wasn't gonna work.
Dammit, I don't really know any of this stuff... it's gonna be a long afternoon. Guess that's fitting for an RPG...
Even if Scott had wanted to lock in and get this study group thing over with, he was having a weirdly hard time focusing today. His train of thought kept drifting back to video games, and his eyes kept finding themselves looking at the new plant Sojiro had added to the counter that morning. Hell, it was so bad, even English was giving him a hard time.
"Agoraphobia..." Makoto muttered to herself, tapping her mechanical pencil to the blank answer space on the page. "I know phobia means it's some kind of fear, but I have no clue what the other root means..."
"Uh... fear of having enemies on your ass?" Guessed Scott, running a hand through his hair.
Ann leaned over and took a peek at the question. "I think that's a fear of open spaces? Doesn't come up as much as claustrophobia does, so I don't even think every native English speaker knows that one."
"More open space means it's easier for enemies to spot you, so it's basically the same thing..."
That seemed to impress Makoto, which make Ann chuckle a little.
"I don't exactly have all the grammar rules down, but vocab and long sentences are no problem! I'm pretty sure Scott's like that too, right?"
"Wha- oh, yeah!' He stammered, needing a sec to process what she'd said after realizing he'd tuned it out to stare at that damn plant again. "I'm also pretty good with grammar though, once you've read enough text that's been through a professional editor, you sorta just get when something's wrong. How all three directors of Wii Chess didn't catch the weird capitalization in the menus, I'll never know..."
"Still, it's not like I'm gonna be usin' any of this after high school, you two already speak Japanese anyways." Ryuji huffed. "No offense Scott, but I'd rather die than have to keep all these damn spelling rules clogging up my brain. How the hell do you Americans keep this shit straight?!"
"None taken. And I don't think we do, actually... if I had to guess, people who can spell probably got it from Sonic's Schoolhouse or some- OW!! What was that for?!"
After flicking Scott's forehead for the first time in a while, Ryuji went back to his paper. "The longer you sit here ramblin' about games, the longer the rest of us gotta sit here and study! Seriously, what's up with you today, man?"
"Sh*t, I'm asking myself the same thing..."
Maybe it's another withdrawal? It's been a while since I last got to really talk about stupid Nintendo games...
Looked like Ryuji's sour mood was contagious, because now Ann was grumbling over her practice test too. "What's with them wanting an explanation of the author's feelings? What's the point of that?"
Yusuke's eyes lit up. "Well-"
Realizing that his explanation was only going to get them even more off track, Makoto closed her textbook with a loud THUMP. "Let's take a break. We're not going to make any progress if everyone's just complaining over each other..."
"Yeah, good idea... Morgana, could you turn the TV on? I'm kinda stuck behind these two." Ren said, motioning to the Scott and Ryuji that were between him and free reign of Leblanc.
The cat hopped down from where he was loafing around on top of the back of the booth seat and stretched. "On it! I'm sure I can hit the buttons, I'll find us something lighthearted to recharge with!"
Once he'd gotten to the remote on the counter and bapped at the top corner a few times, the TV turned on to the news channel Sojiro had had it on earlier. Seemed like it was wrapping up on the latest details of the Kaneshiro case, which they obviously already knew all about, so Morgana started trying to bap it in just the right spot to get the channel changed as the news anchor continued.
"The general consensus among the public seems to be that this was the work of the Phantom Thieves, but do you think that's actually true?"
"Almost certainly." A familiar soft voice stated.
Wait, that's-!
For the first time since he'd gotten downstairs, Scott could actually focus, and it didn't look like he was alone on that. In fact, everyone at the booth was craning their necks behind them or over the guys to get a better view, while Morgana stopped mid-bap to listen in.
Goro Akechi, who was getting interviewed yet again, continued. "If it had just been that a calling card was spread, or that someone suddenly turned themself in, I'd figure that was a prank or a case of blackmail, respectively. But since both are present here, it's incredibly unlikely to be anyone else."
"And what does that imply, in your expert opinion?"
"Well, I mentioned this during a prior interview of mine, but the single thing that concerns me the most about these cases is the mysterious method behind it. If we're to take their cards at their word, they can tamper with the hearts of their targets to force a confession, right? There may be evidence to back that confession this time, but one day, we may come across a victim who doesn't... what then? There would no longer be any way to tell if they'd targeted a criminal so cunning that they've managed to destroy everything that could trace back to them, or if they'd simply planted the idea of wrongdoing in an innocent person's heart."
"There seems to be a growing fanbase for them, who believe that they're doing the right thing by forcing these criminals to turn themselves in. What would you say to people who believe that?"
"Of course, right now it's easy to prove that the people they target were menaces that deserved to be punished. But consider this; what if they're merely trying to gain the public's trust before pursuing their ulterior motives? After all, these are Phantom Thieves, they proudly label themselves as outlaws. In the process of sidestepping the law like this, they're sowing the seeds of an incredibly dangerous line of thinking in countless people... not to mention one that's incredibly easy to take advantage of."
"I see... so to summarize, allowing decisions like these to be made by any single party can only bring more harm than good?"
"Exactly. Law enforcement is designed to have the necessary checks and balances to keep things above board, but we can't say the same for an independent group. There's no telling what could happen if they became corrupted by power someday, if they aren't already. When you think about it, the kind of power imbalance they hold is no different from that of the people they've caught."
"Big fan of bullsh*t hypotheticals, huh?" Scott grumbled with a grossed-out expression.
Ryuji nodded, looking even more irritated himself. "Finally, I'm pickin' up something you're puttin' down today. We just took down a guy he had no fuckin' idea how to find, and we're the bad guys here?! Newsflash asshole, checks and balances don't mean shit when there are kids getting blackmailed right under your damn noses!"
"He's probably just jealous we beat him to it." Ann shrugged, unphased. "Akechi can't really say that without making himself look bad, so I guess slamming us on TV is the next best option."
The group's leader turned away from the TV, and back to the others. "Right, he's throwing around a whole lot of what-ifs for a profession all about the cold hard facts... but I don't think he's going to slow down the public's belief in us, either. In fact, once it's clear that these worst-case scenarios aren't happening, it'll probably only hurt his credibility."
"Exactly! And what he's saying doesn't matter if we're making good change, right?"
Ryuji crossed his arms. "I guesssssss..."
"It's annoying, but who cares if someone doesn't think the Thieves are doing the right thing? They're wrong anyways!" Scott grinned.
"That doesn't mean we can't prove him wrong, though." Ren added. "We'll just keep aiming higher, and keep showing the world otherwise every time he tries to say we're the bad guys. Though, investigating our targets will probably get a whole lot more difficult as we go... we might have to start getting more organized about how we do that."
Hearing that, Makoto's face suddenly looked almost mischievous. "Would you all like to know the best way to go about organizing those efforts?" She asked.
Ryuji's eyes went wide. "Wait, you've got somethin' for trackin' down info?? Is that how you found us earlier?"
"In a sense." Makoto reached into her school bag and pulled out a history textbook, placing it on top of the book she closed earlier with another THUMP, plus a small smirk. "They say knowledge is power, right? By learning how historical figures with distorted desires were found and stopped, we'll be much better prepared to do it ourselves!"
Aaaaaaand his face fell again. "I walked right into that one, didn't I."
Notes:
So in the original dialogue when Sojiro picks up the phone and finds out the printer won't work, he goes "It's not right? Not cute...?" and. Chat what the hell did he mean by that bc I have no idea
This time next week I'll be making my way to the airport for language school, and while I'll do my best to keep the fic updating, I don't know how possible that's going to be... but I won't be there forever (sadly lol), so things should get back to normal afterwards if that happens! For now though, see you guys next chapter!
Chapter 64: Objectivity at its Finest
Chapter Text
--7/11--
-AFTER SCHOOL-
"Amamiya-senpai, Wozniak-senpai, wait up!"
While Ren and Scott were doing their usual line transfer at Shibuya Station, a cheerful voice called out to them. The crowds were a bit thinner than usual today, which meant they could actually see who it was, a rare luxury! Kasumi Yoshizawa bounded over to them, wearing a bright yellow cardigan and an even brighter smile.
Damn, she's fast!
She'd been pretty far away when the two guys heard her voice and turned, but she closed that distance in a matter of seconds without even needing to catch her breath afterwards.
Ren smiled at her. "You look like you're in a good mood today. What's up, Kasumi?"
Ah, right! This was the girl Scott had seen a few times near Maruki's office, and the one who was also a really skilled gymnast according to Ren.
Hang on, didn't she say that he's told her "a lot" about me? I guess I'm about to find out what that was, for better or for worse...
"What, is running into you two not enough for me to be extra happy?" Kasumi laughed a little. "But there is something else, too! Want to find a bench before I get to tell you all about it? Only if you have the time, of course!"
"I've got nothing planned, and Scott doesn't really do much planning to begin with."
He was going to ignore that comment, mainly because it was true. "You make that sound like the sheer strength of the goodness in this news is gonna obliterate our legs." Said Scott.
The gymnast beamed. "I don't think it'll be that powerful, but-"
"Oh, Yoshizawa-san, it's been a while!"
Wait a second, that wasn't Ren's voice...
For the second day in a row, Scott was hit with an Akechi jumpscare, and this time it was actually in person. Great.
The boy detective walked up to the three of them, now in a short-sleeved white dress shirt with his striped tie over it, rather than the brown jacket he had on last time. Made sense, that thing did not look like it had good breathability. "How have you been?"
Looked like he and Kasumi were already friends, with how her expression miraculously got even brighter. "Akechi-san! I was about to tell Amamiya-senpai here about that, actually... but the short answer is, I'm doing really well!"
"You have, huh?" He looked the girl over for a moment. "Let me guess... you've got something exciting to share with him?"
"I do! And it doesn't actually need to be a secret, I might as well tell you and Wozniak-senpai while everyone's here! I'm-"
Akechi put his hand up to stop her. "Not just yet. Something tells me that an announcement like this warrants a nicer venue, and I've been hoping to find a chance to speak with these two again anyways." He directed that last part to Ren and Scott. "I already know exactly where to go, if you don't mind me making that call. Follow me, it'll be my treat."
If he was honest, Scott was not jazzed about the idea of going to a cafe with people he didn't really know too well. Actually, no, he didn't really mind that Kasumi was there, she seemed pretty nice. But the fact that they were all there with the guy that had been sh*t talking him and the party on TV, even though he didn't know these two lanky goobers were part of it... that was the part that made this awkward. Plus, Scott didn't exactly have a good history with law enforcement to begin with, even if you didn't count the assault charge in this world that he had both been present and absent for.
Last time I went to a social food thing with a cop, everyone got murdered... I really hope that's not what's about to happen here.
At the very least, the drinks here looked pretty good. Ren had ordered coffee jelly with whipped cream on top, Kasumi got a floral tea, Akechi got what looked to be some sort of latte or mocha, while Scott ended up with some weird two-colored lemonade. Maybe it was a bit on-the-nose, but it wasn't like anyone here aside from Ren knew that.
...Would be nice if Akechi would quit staring at it, though.
"What? You got a hot drink in the middle of summer, how am I the weird one here?" He asked.
Realizing he'd been lingering on it too much, Akechi cleared his throat and went back to his cup. "Apologies, my eyes must have landed on the brightest thing around as I got distracted by my train of thought."
It looked like the train hadn't actually stopped running, but Scott just shrugged it off and took a sip. Must be thinking of more worst-case crap to pull out of his ass on TV later, or something like that. "If you wanna get something cold, just ask. It's a cafe, you're allowed to order more sh*t at these."
"No, I'm actually quite alright with this. Coffee simply isn't the same when it's iced, and I'm fully willing to suffer a little discomfort for what will result in a better taste." Akechi picked up his cup and took a sip.
That surprised Kasumi. "You do it just because you want to? That takes some commitment, I'm only getting something hot for the sake of the meet!"
Still holding up his coffee cup, he gave her a curious look. "Meet? Is something coming up?"
"Oh, I got so distracted with ordering that I almost forgot to tell you all!" She said with a sheepish smile. "Well, I already told Ren that this was coming up, but there's a summer competition soon that the Shujin gymnastics team will be participating in. And..." As she continued, Kasumi went from sheepish to absolutely overjoyed. "The one chosen to represent the club in that competition... ended up being me!"
Ren gave her a warm smile. "Congratulations, I know you've been working hard for this."
"I appreciate it, but it's a bit early for that, senpai. Now that I'm going to be performing, I have to make sure I'll, well... perform!"
"Still, it's a milestone worth celebrating." He lifted up his coffee jelly, which Kasumi clinked her teacup against with a small giggle.
"Indeed, isn't Shujin's gymnastics team quite prestigious? The fact that you were selected is no small feat, so you really shouldn't sell yourself short." Added Akechi, actually agreeing with Ren on something for once. "I'm glad I suggested we talk at a cafe. This way, our celebration's already underway."
Kasumi nodded. "After this, I'll be training really hard, so I can make everyone proud!"
"Perhaps I'll have to come and watch, if my casework allows it. Regardless, I'll be cheering for you, wherever I happen to be on the day of."
"So will I." Added Ren. "You're going to do great, I just know it."
"Exactly, get out there and kick that balance beam's ass!" It kinda felt like Scott had to encourage her too, her positivity was seriously contagious. Maybe it had something to do with how it seemed to be just as abundant as the number of DS case/stylus/game bundles?
Kasumi laughed a little again. "Come on, now you're all just being too nice! If I let that get to my head, I might just start slacking off."
"If you insist." Ren said with a playful shrug.
"And besides, I wanted to ask how you and Akechi-san all know each other! Seems like it really is a small world."
"Remember how one of the field trip options for the second-years was a TV station? Scott and I got to be in the studio audience for one of his interviews, and he seemed to take an interest in me."
Being reminded of the little debate they got into seemed to put a smile on Akechi's face. "Indeed, his thoughts on the matter of the Phantom Thieves really intrigued me. While I've found myself speaking to quite a few fans of theirs during interviews lately, he's been the only one so far that's actually resulted in a fruitful intellectual discussion." Then, he turned his gaze to Scott. "Admittedly, I haven't really had a chance to hear Wozniak-san's opinion, but the brief exchange we had back then leads me to believe he'll be similar."
"I get what you mean, about both of them!" Kasumi grinned. "Amamiya-senpai's input in particular has been really helping me out lately, plus it seems that we're both getting our first real chance to understand Scott better!"
That made Ren pause. He glanced over at Scott for a moment, and then back at the others. "I'm just going to warn you now, even I don't really get him yet."
You make it sound like I'm some obscure easter egg!
"I see..." Akechi smiled again, though it looked... different this time, for some reason. "That gives me an idea, actually. Yoshizawa-san, what are your thoughts on the Phantom Thieves?"
Before she answered, Kasumi took a moment to stare down into her tea and gather her thoughts. "I don't disagree with them, per se... but I definitely don't agree with what they're doing, either."
Scott raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't that just mean we're back to not knowing what you think?"
"Right, I guess that doesn't really make sense on its own... the way I see it is, while they're definitely doing a good thing, I worry about the long-term effects of their actions on society."
"How do you mean?" Akechi asked.
"When someone is faced with a problem, I'm of the belief that the best person to solve it is themselves. That way you'll be better equipped to face that issue if it comes up again in the future, and even if it doesn't, you've grown as a person in the process. But with the Phantom Thieves around, those problems can now suddenly solve themselves, right?"
The girl paused and took another sip of tea.
"So... if people get too used to having a safety net like that, their actions may backfire and end up worsening society over time."
Huh... that actually made a whole lot more sense than Akechi's anti-Thief arguments. "Then, you're saying they're like how Nintendo games let you skip levels if you suck bad enough at them these days? I think I get that... sure, you don't have to get past that level anymore, but it kinda just makes you feel like a bitch for cheating."
"And we all know that there are plenty of people out there who don't at all mind cheating to get ahead in life..." She muttered sadly. "If people had the option of just leaving everything to the Phantom Thieves, I worry about what that kind of complacency would cause. I hope that explains it..."
Akechi nodded. "I see... so it's not their actions that you're concerned about, but rather how said actions will indirectly affect the public. You've got quite an intriguing thought process yourself, Yoshizawa-san." Then, he turned back to Scott again with another strange smile. "Do you have a rebuttal for her, Wozniak-san?"
"Just call me Scott." He flatly stated. "And, I mean, you're not wrong? But I don't really think you're right, either."
Kasumi smiled. "So we're right back to not knowing what you think now, huh senpai?"
"You got me there..." Alright, how was he gonna put this in a way that didn't blow their covers... as Scott sipped his drink and thought about what to say, he also quickly thought about whether Ryuji would have said something similar in this situation, and tossed that point out if it sounded in-character for him.
"Remember how I mentioned that some games let you skip levels?"
The others nodded.
"Well, in a normal situation you'd just feel like sh*t for relying on that, but the thing is, that's mostly in newer Nintendo games. Those are bitch easy! But there's also a ton of situations where going around the problem like that kinda makes sense given the circumstances. Sometimes it's 'cause of a game-breaking bug, or maybe the game's design is just too dumb and/or brutal for its own good."
"And... how exactly does that relate to the Phantom Thieves?" Akechi asked, 100% not following.
"The kinda guys they're taking down are doing a similar thing, trapping people in bullsh*t that's, frankly, just unfair. In a game, it's totally fine to wait for a patch that fixes the bug you got hit with, and it's also totally fine to use save states and extra life exploits in hard old games that were compensating for their tiny storage space. Hell, for that last thing, you'd be the playground's messiah for knowing how to do it in the first place! And since it looks like it takes the Phantom Thieves a while to actually get sh*t done, that kinda means they're the exception to those situations instead of the rule, right?"
"...Amamiya-san, does he always make his points like this?"
"I think that was actually one of his more straightforward takes." Said Ren. "He's not wrong, though. I highly doubt they're omnipotent problem-solvers, so there's no reason for people to stop relying on themselves as well."
"Right, you get me!" Scott grinned. "Stealing hearts works despite sounding like some elf sh*t, that's true, but the idea that they're gonna be able to fix every little thing is way more farfetched to me. They're not the Action Replay, they're the Skyward Sword Save Data Update Channel!"
"So you two must be fans of theirs..." By now, Kasumi looked a little embarrassed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to cause an argument when we're in the middle of celebrating."
Ren shook his head. "Don't worry about it, you brought up a valid concern. I can't say I'm sure there'll be no downsides to their existence, but... I also genuinely believe that they'll be able to help enough people to counterbalance them."
"And Scott made some good points as well, though I'm still not entirely convinced that things won't turn sour someday..." She admitted, looking down into her teacup again. "I guess only time will tell, when it comes to how things turn out with them."
Apparently satisfied, Akechi folded his hands in his lap. "I couldn't help but find out how you two would go about the same debate Amamiya-san and I took part in, but it seems I've dampened the mood a little... my apologies for that. That said, it looks like I was right about you having a unique potential for interesting discussions as well, Wozniak-san."
"It was an interesting talk, even if there's a few terms I'm going to need to look up later." The gymnast turned to Scott again with another bright smile. "Amamiya-senpai told me that you were strange, but that your strangeness is exactly what makes you such a valuable friend. Now I understand what he meant by that!"
That was what he's been saying about me...?
While he wasn't really sure what to expect there, it definitely wasn't that. Ever since Scott had gotten here, people were constantly talking about how weird he was, but never like that. Yeah, his encyclopedic gaming knowledge had definitely come in handy a few times, and the other Thieves hadn't not been grateful for it, but this still didn't quite sit right with him.
...Then again, he's probably just exaggerating. I can't really be that valuable if they'd do totally fine without me, can I...?
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