Chapter Text
As big man TommyInnit was running across another rooftop he thought about what he should get for dinner. His mind suddenly thought of the glorious idea of ramen noodles and Le Extra Cheesy Goldfish. Yeah, that sounded like an amazing meal. He thought the answer was pretty clear, everyone knows Le Extra Cheesy Goldfish and ramen is superior to literally everything.
He ran and jumped across a couple more rooftops before settling on a nice alleyway to jump on a fire escape and then climbed down to the street. Pulling off his hood and mask, he checked the time, 4:57 brightly glowing at him in the night.
‘Oh for prime's sake, I'm so late. Tubbo is going to kill meeee,’ Toom thought while walking towards the street.
He started jogging when he got out of the alleyway and started down the street towards his shared apartment.
While passing an alleyway he heard some kind of scuffling noises deeper in the shadows and decided that it would be a GREAT idea to investigate and then proceeded to do just that. He pulled up his mask just in case it was some kind of criminal.
Instead what he found was a small baby raccoon that was on the edge of a dumpster it had clearly been stealing food from. When it saw him looking at it, it had gotten surprised and fallen backwards into the dumpster
Tommy rushed forward to see it rolling around in the trash. He slowly lowered his hand into the dumpster to help the baby raccoon, not expecting it to cling to his hand.
“WHAT THE- GET OFF ME YOU LITTLE SHIT” Tommy yelled, having no sympathy for any surrounding people who are trying to get some sleep.
The kit did in fact not listen to Tommy and get off, but only climbed higher on his arm until she was sitting comfortably on his shoulder. Tommy blinked in confusion, the baby raccoon now feeling safe, she fell asleep
‘Well’ He thought, ‘My raccoon now’
As he was walking down the street he pondered over names for his new buddy. Tommy didn’t want to name her something generic like Rocky or Raccoon. Only the BEST name for his now kidnaped surprise adopted daughter.
While deep in thought, his feet found the way to Tommy’s destination, his apartment that he shared with the two people he would never call his friends (even if they were really his best friends), Tuberculosis Underscore and Ranboob Noah Jameson (lip bite intensifies). As he came to the realization that he was home he remembered how fuckin pissed Tubbo was going to beat him for being late.
Shoving this in a corner of his mind he got the key out of a secret pocket in his jacket and opened the door, cringing as it squeaked. Tommy looked around the dark apartment and tried to keep his footsteps light. He went towards the kitchen to get his noodles and Le Extra Cheesy Goldfish before bed. Suddenly while he was opening the fridge, the kitchen light flashed on. He screamed at being blinded before realizing the two things this could mean. The first was that Ranboo had awoken and was just going to look at him before sighing and telling him to go to bed. The second… Tommy didn't even want to think about it.
Big Man Innit slowly turned his head to see Tubbo slowly approaching with a murderous look in his eye and a sleepy Ranboo standing in the doorframe. Well fuck, theres the second.
Tommy was too young to die! He hadn't even named his daughter yet!
“W-Wait Tubso, big man, big T, Please we can talk this out right? TuBBO PLEASE NO. OH YOU FUCKER”
“Give me a gODDAMN WARNING YOU IDIOT CHILD DICK ASS SHIT BITCH”
Tommy was not going to get his noodles. Or his Goldfish.
Ranboo went back to sleep.