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When it happens, it’s late one night and everyone else is already asleep in their little room – Louis and Harry crammed in one bunk like they’ve been doing practically since day one and Niall snoring on the bunk above them. Zayn had snuck into Liam’s bunk when he was pretty sure that everyone else was asleep and Liam had welcomed him with that little smile that still makes Zayn’s heart flutter. He doesn’t think it’s going to stop fluttering any time soon, if he’s honest.
“Hi,” Liam breathes almost shyly, tucking himself closer to the wall so there’s room for Zayn under the rumpled single duvet. “I missed you today.”
“We’ve been rehearsing all day, we’ve been in the same room,” Zayn says, going for an eye roll but failing because he knows what Liam means. This is all so new for them both – the performing and the band dynamic but also the fact that they’re tentatively trying out the word ‘boyfriend’ as a name for what they are. It’s only been about a week and in that time there hasn’t been much time for more than a few shared kisses under the blanket of darkness but Zayn longs and pines and misses Liam even if he’s across the room. So yeah, he thinks it’s going pretty well.
That is, until he presses himself closer into Liam’s warm hold, palms flat against Liam’s chest as they trade a few sleepy kisses and he feels it happen.
He tries to be subtle as he rolls over, cheeks burning with secret humiliation when Liam whines a soft, indignant “hey” and rolls him back over, before his eyes go wide as he notices. “Oh.”
“I’m sorry,” Zayn pleads quietly, trying to shift his hips back from Liam’s so his boner isn’t pressing into his thigh. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
Liam’s eyes are squeezed shut, his cheeks also flaming a hot red that almost glows in the dim light of the room. “I…” he starts, then closes his mouth, huffing out a confused breath. “I… um…”
“I’m sorry,” Zayn mumbles again, swallowing nervously as he shifts back a little further, eyes wide and face red. “I don’t… I’ll go back to my own bed, I’m sorry…”
“Don’t,” Liam says suddenly, eyes snapping open. He wraps his hand around Zayn’s wrist. “Don’t go. I mean, um, I want... it’s okay?”
“You don’t sound very sure about that,” Zayn mumbles. “Seriously, I’ll, um, I’ll just go.”
Liam shakes his head vehemently, his curls rustling against the pillow. He looks so scared and so innocent and Zayn just likes him so much that he’s furious with himself for fucking up this early. But Liam’s hand doesn’t leave his wrist and he bites his lip, unsure of whether to pull away or not.
“Can you just… I dunno, go to the bathroom and come back after? Like I don’t mind, I just… I don’t…”
Zayn actually pulls away at that, kicking the covers off his legs and shaking his head almost violently, standing up and backing away towards his own bunk. He rolls over to face the wall once he’s slid under the duvet and wills away both the blush that’s crawling all over his skin and the fucking boner that started all this in the first place (like he’d even want to wank after that exchange). He presses the heel of his hand into it and curses under his breath as he feels his dick twitch against his palm, which really doesn’t help the feeling of humiliation, so he buries himself a little deeper under the blankets and tries to sleep but it’s impossible because the air is thick with a new tension and he hates it.
“Zayn?” he hears Liam ask in a small voice from across the room. “Zayn, please come back.”
He keeps himself as still as possible, trying to make his breathing come out less ragged than it is in an attempt to make it look like he’s fallen asleep but they both know he’s fooling nobody. Liam doesn’t say anything else for a while and Zayn has almost resigned himself to the fact that he’s fucked up the first relationship he’s ever had because of his stupid teenage hormones, when he’s suddenly aware of Liam climbing out of his bed and into Zayn’s, nuzzling his face carefully into the back of neck before he pushes himself forward so he can get a look at Zayn’s face.
“Babe,” Liam says, swallowing nervously. His eyes are big and wide and Zayn couldn’t feel worse if he tried. “Zayn, talk to me a second.”
“Liam,” he croaks, rolling over and reaching out for him before he snatches his hand back. “Liam, I…”
“I’m not mad,” Liam insists quickly, shaking his head again. “I’m not mad at all, I’m just… I’m confused.”
“Confused about what?”
“Why you…” Liam’s cheeks are burning again but he cups Zayn’s cheek delicately, smoothing out the creases in his eyebrows with his other hand. “Why didn’t you just go to the bathroom and sort it out? I don’t… I don’t mind, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I wasn’t worried about that,” Zayn huffs, because in all honesty that hadn’t even crossed his mind when he’s having a totally different crisis over here. “I just, I…”
“What?” Liam coaxes. He sounds almost pained himself. “Are you too embarrassed? Because I’ve gotten myself off to you before.” His hand leaves Zayn’s cheek as he slaps it over his mouth. “Um…”
“You have?” Zayn squeaks. They both stare at each other for a second before Liam opens his mouth again.
“Well, of course,” Liam says, sounding almost affronted. “You’re so bloody fit, Zayn, and the thing is I just think about you all the time and then I get off and then you’re there again and I just…” He cuts himself off, his face a deep magenta. “Have you never got off to the thought of me?”
He says it so quietly and so fast that Zayn almost doesn’t hear but his eyebrows shoot up and he takes a sharp breath. “I… I haven’t but…”
“Oh.”
“No, no,” Zayn says, praying he can save this. “It’s not you, Liam, god. It’s… you know I think you’re bloody fit too but I’m…”
“Zayn, what’s wrong?” Liam says sadly. “Talk to me. You sound like you might cry and I don’t want to have done something that makes you cry, bloody hell.”
“It’s not you,” Zayn promises. He wants a fucking cuddle so he pulls Liam a little bit closer to him, sinking into his arms as Liam pulls him close and presses a tender kiss onto the top of his head. “It’s all me, I just…”
“Is it because I’m a boy?” Liam whispers, his voice strained.
“What?” Zayn says loudly, too loud in their little room this late at night. “No, Jesus, no, it’s not that at all!”
“I wouldn’t blame you if it was,” Liam continues in the same voice. “I know we haven’t talked about… about that side of it but I’ve never been with a boy either, if it helps.”
“I’ve never been with anyone,” Zayn admits quietly into Liam’s chest. “Like, you were my first real kiss.”
“What?” Liam asks incredulously, also probably too loud. “But you’re… you’re so fit and you’re so…”
“I haven’t,” Zayn says with a little shrug, “I promise. You’re my first everything.”
“I mean, that’s okay,” Liam says kindly, scratching lightly at Zayn’s scalp. “We can do this together, yeah?”
“Leeyum,” Zayn says carefully. “When I say first everything, I mean everything.”
“I… I know,” Liam says, confused. “You just said I was your first kiss, so I know.”
“No, you don’t,” Zayn says, biting at his lip and ripping a piece of skin off. “I mean, I’ve never, like… the reason I never went into the bathroom tonight is because I haven’t ever, like, you know?”
Liam furrows his brows. “I don’t understand,” he says slowly. “What, are you saying you’ve never needed to wank before me or what?” He huffs a laugh but Zayn goes rigid and he makes a choking sound. “You’ve never wanked?”
“Of course I have,” Zayn mutters, keeping his face hidden in Liam’s soft t-shirt. “I’ve just never, like, completed the deed. Ever.”
“You’ve…” Liam starts and then stops. There’s a pause. “You’ve never had an orgasm?”
Zayn doesn’t say anything, just presses his face a little further into Liam’s chest to hide his burning cheeks. Liam doesn’t speak either but his arms tighten around Zayn’s back, snuggling them closer.
“That’s okay too,” he says eventually. Zayn whines a little in protest but Liam just keeps holding him, pressing lots of little kisses into his hair. “Honestly, don’t… don’t think I care. Because I don’t. I care more for you, you know? That must suck, I mean… just… I wanna know why. Can I ask why?”
Zayn hesitates. “Not by choice,” he mumbles eventually. “I try but it always feels like I’m doing it wrong? It feels good so I keep going and I think it’s going somewhere but then it just hurts or it dies down eventually or… I don’t know; I just can’t.”
“You can get hard though,” Liam says quietly. “Do you think you, like, can’t jizz at all? Or is it not a jizz thing?”
Zayn’s cheeks are positively on fire. “I’ve had, like, wet dreams before. I can jizz, if that’s what you’re asking.” He kind of wants to mention that it happened twice while he’s been sharing a bed with Liam, Liam just doesn’t remember, but he’s not sure his cheeks can take any more burning at this point.
“Well, that’s something,” Liam shrugs. “To be fair, I couldn’t at first. Took me a few goes to get the technique right or whatever. So, like, do you try a lot?”
“No,” Zayn grumbles, although knowing that has made Zayn feel a little better. “Like, when I was living at home I had to share a room with Waliyha so, like, I never really got the chance and every time I did it just didn’t, like, work.”
“Work?” Liam asks. “How do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” Zayn huffs. “Like, is there more than one way to wank? It… it feels good but nothing happens to, like, finish it off, I dunno.”
“Interesting,” Liam says thoughtfully. Zayn glares at him.
“I’m not, like, a project, Liam,” he says indignantly. “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me or anything.”
Liam looks almost offended. “I wouldn’t,” he breathes out, his lip jutting out a little. “I just wanna make sure you’re okay and you know that I don’t care, okay?” He tugs his lip between his teeth. “When we’re ready, yeah? Then we’ll, like… well, I guess it depends.”
“First everything,” Zayn croaks. “I mean it when I say I want you to be my first everything.”
“Wait, really?” Liam says, mouth dropping open in shock. “You want me…?”
“When we’re ready,” Zayn nods. He tugs Liam’s hand up, lacing their fingers and then kissing at his knuckles. “I like you so much, you know.”
“I like you so much too,” Liam says. He tilts Zayn’s chin up from where it’s buried in the warmth of his chest and presses their lips together gently. “Thank you for, like, sharing.”
“Didn’t really give me much choice, did you?” Zayn mumbles petulantly, but he’s smiling.
Liam snorts a breathy laugh, kissing Zayn again. “I suppose but I mean it. When we’re ready. And, like, we can do whatever. I don’t mind. I know we haven’t been doing this long but… well, I really like it.”
“I really like it too,” Zayn says softly. He tugs Liam in, giving him another sweet kiss before he rolls over, cuddling back into Liam’s chest.
“I think about you a lot,” Liam continues, pressing his nose into the back of Zayn’s neck. “And I do want you, like, a lot. I think about you all the time and then I go for a wank and think about you and then you’re there again so I wanna go again because you’re beautiful and you look at me…”
Zayn smiles, covering Liam’s hands around his waist. He’s still blushing but it’s a good blush this time, because Liam makes him feel warm in a way he’s never felt before. “I’m always looking at you,” he admits, smirking a little. “You’re the best and fittest boyfriend I’ve ever had.”
“I’m the only boyfriend you’ve ever had,” Liam grumbles playfully. “But same, babe, same.”
They fall asleep like that, Zayn pressed against Liam’s chest. He still feels a little awkward, but at least his fucking boner has gone at last and he’s warm and he’s got his boyfriend spooning him comfortably. Everything feels fine for the most part.
The next few days are chock-a-block with rehearsals so they don’t get a lot of time for each other again but then Sunday rolls around and they all elect to take the day off. The house is relatively empty now – enough people have been kicked off for the house to seem a lot quieter than it has in weeks – so when Louis demands that the two of them come to Tesco with them, Zayn declines immediately. As they’re arguing Liam comes into the room, looking apologetic but walking over to Zayn anyway, sliding a careful arm around his waist. He’s warm, and his hair is freshly washed and still a little damp and he smells so good that Zayn declines again, leaning back against Liam’s chest.
“Suit yourself,” Louis remarks, stalking out the room. The door slams behind them but they can still him terrorising Niall through the walls. Liam snorts and presses a kiss onto Zayn’s head before guiding them to the sofa. They curl up around each other, Zayn pressed against Liam’s chest as he reaches for the remote and turns some mundane house-hunting show.
“Comfy?” Liam asks after a few quiet minutes. Zayn nods, turning his head a little to catch Liam’s lips. He rolls across to face him properly, hands cupping his cheeks and deepening the kiss because it feels like ages since they kissed to kiss. Liam makes a happy sound in his throat and grips at Zayn’s hoodie, tugging him closer onto the sofa and eventually on top of him.
It still blows Zayn’s mind that kissing someone can be this good; Liam’s warm and pliant beneath him, hands sitting firm on his hips and lips gentle. Zayn takes a deep breath through his nose and licks into Liam’s mouth, moving his hands up to fist in Liam’s soft curls and tugging on them slightly.
He feels Liam gasp into his mouth and he pulls back a little, going to leave a playful lovebite on Liam’s neck. He shuffles down the smallest bit and attaches his lips to the soft skin, nibbling playfully before he starts to suck ever so slightly. The mark starts to take shape and he can both feel and hear Liam’s laboured breaths so he keeps going, laving his tongue over it soothingly.
“Stop, stop,” Liam chokes out suddenly. Zayn pulls his head up hurriedly, eyes wide and terrified he’s gone too far. Liam, clearly sensing his unease, shakes his head quickly and brings his hand back up to Zayn’s face. “No, no, like, I liked it,” he assures. He’s flushed red down to the neckline of his hoodie. “I’m, um, I’m hard?”
“Yeah?” Zayn asks tentatively. He’s also burning, cheeks suddenly red and hot and unsure of why this is suddenly so tense.
“Yeah, like, um… Liam stammers, nibbling nervously at his lip. “Like, I mean, um, I’ll go to the bathroom and sort it if you want or I can…”
“I could sort it,” Zayn blurts. Liam makes a choking sound and his eyes practically pop out of his skull. “I mean, if you want me to. Touch you, that is.”
“I…” Liam starts, opening his mouth and then closing it again.
There’s a few seconds of tense silence where they both just stare into each other’s eyes and then they burst out laughing, which dispels the awkwardness between them. Liam’s eyes crinkle happily and he goes back to stroking at Zayn’s cheek.
“You want to?” he asks quietly, cautiously. Zayn nods. “Can I… can I try to return the favour?”
“That would be nice,” Zayn says shyly. “I mean, we said when we’re ready, yeah? Are you ready?”
“I…” A fresh blush blossoms across Liam’s cheeks. “I’ve been ready for a long time, if I’m being honest.”
There’s a tightness in Zayn’s chest as he leans down to kiss him again, lips tracing gently over the bow of Liam’s lips before he deepens it again, hands returning to fist in Liam’s beautiful messy mane. Liam kisses back wetly, his cock a firm and insistent press into Zayn’s thigh. Zayn really, really wants him.
“You’re amazing,” he says earnestly as he pulls back. “Um, shall we… to a bed?”
Liam nods, sitting them up but keeping his arms firm around Liam’s waist. There isn’t actually much of a size difference between them, though Liam is a little broader and ever so slightly taller, but he’s stronger by far and he has this way of holding Zayn, firm and gentle but so, so securely that Zayn can feel small and protected in ways he didn’t know he wanted or needed. He hopes that never changes.
They kiss again, less demandingly this time, light brushes of lips that make Zayn’s head spin. Liam sucks on his bottom lip a little and when he pulls back this time his smile is so wide that his eyes are crinkled and soft.
“Bed,” he mumbles, wanting to be ever closer to Liam in that moment, despite them being pressed chest to chest. He carefully climbs out of Liam’s lap and takes his hand to lead him to their room. Once they get there they topple into Liam’s bunk, giggling and kissing the second their mouths are close enough.
It’s so much nicer in their bed (it may as well be their bed at this point) because everything smells like Liam – like his soap and the washing detergent he uses a lot because it smells like his mum and the soft scent of his sweat that’s become the first thing that Zayn takes in when he wakes up. They curl up around each other, both lying on their sides on top of the duvet so they can press as close as they can. Zayn can feel Liam’s dick pressing through his jeans and into his thigh and it makes his skin tingle because he put it there and he’s going to touch his boyfriend and maybe even finally have that orgasm that’s always been at the back of his mind since he realised he couldn’t have one.
He thinks for a second, though, that not having one wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world because at least he’s got Liam and if Liam gets off himself, he’ll count that as some sort of victory. He almost convinces himself of this but then he feels his own dick start to fatten up in the confines of his jeans, partly through inevitable hormones but mostly through pure adoration and lust for this boy who’s become his everything in barely any time at all.
Liam has this amazing way of kissing so gently but also so firmly that’s making Zayn’s head spin. They’ve also never actually kissed like this with the intention of anything more so even though Zayn knows there’s no pressure from Liam, the pressure against his jean zip says otherwise.
“Hey,” Liam murmurs eventually, after they’ve been kissing for long enough for Zayn to be squirming at every touch Liam presses onto his bare skin. “Can I take your top off you?”
Zayn pauses but nods and Liam gently slides it up his body, bunching it under his armpits as Zayn groans and reluctantly removes his arms from around Liam’s shoulders so he can slide the t-shirt up and off his body. Gentle palms press against his bare chest and lay him onto his back, Liam’s strong thighs pillaring him in. Zayn winds his arms around Liam’s neck again and pulls him in for a filthy kiss, one which Liam happily sinks into. His crotch brushes against Zayn’s, stiff denim against stiff denim, and Zayn gasps loudly, experimentally moving his hips to try and follow Liam’s. Liam moans too, the friction barely there but delicious already because it’s them until he’s suddenly pulling away, shaking his head so hard his curls bounce.
“No, wait,” he stammers, swallowing loudly before brushing some of his hair from his eyes. “Okay, no, I mean, um, maybe we should talk?”
“Um, okay,” Zayn says, a little breathlessly. Liam swallows again, readjusting himself over Zayn’s body so there’s less chance of their crotches pressing together. Zayn wants to follow the friction, even tries to hump his hips up a little because he’s not really sure what there is to talk about and Liam just smells amazing, but Liam’s grip is firm and keeps him anchored to the bed.
“Basically, we need, like, oh, I dunno,” he says, his skin pink and his mouth curling downwards in concern. “I don’t want to cross any boundaries, not with you.”
“I want you,” Zayn rasps, trying to shrug from his position. “I really, really want you and, like, the grinding felt good, like…”
“We haven’t even seen each other naked yet,” Liam says and it sounds like he’s trying to be caring but really it’s just funny because he’s clearly so embarrassed by the word ‘naked’. Zayn laughs and kisses him instead.
“I mean,” he says slowly as he pulls away. “I don’t, like, obviously want tonight to be our first time, like, I’m not ready for that. But I want you somehow. And I know you’ll make it good for us, so.”
Liam nods carefully, nibbling on his lip again. He gently rocks his hips down again, mumbling a muffled “okay, yeah, okay, um, yeah” and Zayn groans and tries to fuck his hips up to match. His hands start to grip at Liam’s belt loops, almost too shy to grope his arse properly despite the fact it might help his plight for more. It’s sloppy but it feels so good and Zayn tries to pick up the pace because he wants more and he wants it now, but Liam’s slowing down again.
“Zayn, Zayn,” he gulps, ducking down to kiss the pout of Zayn’s face. “Babe, we need to go slow.”
“Don’t wanna,” Zayn crows back. “I just… I’m really not your project and it feels so good, Liam, I’m not gonna break.”
“I know, I know,” Liam says gently. “But I wanna get you, like, really close. Draw it out a bit, make you feel really good so it’s easier for your first time.” Zayn whimpers a little in protest but Liam kisses him again. “I wanna, like… it’s not just about giving you an orgasm, yeah? It’s about me making you feel amazing because I care about you and I want to do this for you, okay?”
Zayn gasps without realising because Liam’s words are so much, so earnest and so unlike what he’d ever thought sex was meant to be like from the way his mates at home described it. He stares for a second and then catches himself, reaching to stroke over Liam’s cheek.
“I…” he stammers, taking a second to catch his breath as Liam’s hands ghost up his abs. “I trust you.”
“Yeah?” Liam asks, his voice edging on concern. Zayn nods, trying to calm his breathing.
“Yeah,” he assures, sinking into the pillow and covering Liam’s hands with his own. “Just… you… whatever you want, yeah? Just make me come.”
Liam nods slowly, breathing out a “yeah, yeah.” He ducks down to kiss Zayn again, soft and reassuring. “I’ll make you come, baby.”
The word goes straight to Zayn’s dick – it’s always, always been babe up until now but baby is so much more, so much better. Zayn pulls him down for another kiss, slow and deep, and then dares to start moving his hips again. He slides his hands down to Liam’s bum, palming at it through his jeans and Liam breaks the kiss in a gasp.
“Eager,” he pants, pulling away so he can slide his own hoodie and t-shirt off. Zayn lets out a breathy laugh, chasing his lips again as Liam crawls back over him. Zayn takes a second to just admire Liam’s body - the broad slope of his shoulders, the slight muscle on each shoulder that he’s been painstakingly working on, the way his abs ripple every time he breathes in. He’s so fit and Zayn didn’t realise it was actually a thing to want someone like this, but he really, really does. He tilts his head back, parting his mouth for him, but instead of joining their lips like Zayn wants Liam’s hand slides between his thighs, curling his hand around the shape of his hard dick.
Zayn lets out a staggered gasp, head lolling back and then back up again because Liam’s just holding it there, not making effort to move it.
“This okay?” he asks tentatively, eyes wide and curious. Zayn tries to buck down but Liam’s hand is firm and that’s when he realises that Liam is actually asking. He nods hurriedly and Liam moves his fingers so they’re mapping out the shape of his length, roughly pressing the denim against his sensitive cockhead.
“Please,” Zayn hears himself whimper. He doesn’t register what he’s said until it’s left his lips and he’s not even sure what he’s asking for. Liam, however, takes it as a sign to take things further so he swallows again before he asks “can I unbutton you?” His forehead is scrunched almost painfully tight, nervous and concentrated as Zayn nods his approval.
He slides the zip down almost painfully slowly and it’s as if Zayn can feel each of the teeth separate, everything feels that hyper-sensitive. He dares to open his eyes as he feels Liam pop the button and he looks like he’s holding his breath, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth again.
“Babe,” he says throatily and Liam freezes up. Zayn can see his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “Babe, s’good.”
“Right, right,” Liam mutters, seemingly catching himself and then slides Zayn’s jeans down his thighs. Zayn gulps nervously as more of his skin is exposed and Liam shuffles back a little further so the jeans can move all the way down and fall to the floor in a crumpled heap.
Liam presses one hand onto Zayn’s flat stomach and the other returns to the bulge in his boxers and Zayn knocks his head back again as he can feel Liam’s fingers properly this time, every bump and callous stroking at his dick, looking more curious than anything. Zayn gasps as his thumb brushes over the head and Liam’s eyes go wide and he draws his hand back again.
“Sorry,” he mutters. “I’ve just… I’ve never touched a dick that isn’t my own before.”
Zayn huffs a laugh, linking his fingers with Liam’s over his belly. “It’s cool,” he says, though his quivering voice suggests that it’s probably more than that. “I, um, can you, like, I mean, all the way?”
Liam hitches a breath but obliges, sliding Zayn’s cheap grey boxers down and exposing his dick to the cool air of the bedroom. Zayn fights the urge to squirm, simply tightening his fingers around Liam’s as Liam drops his pants on the floor next to his jeans, his eyes never leaving Zayn’s cock.
“S’… s’nice,” he says eventually, his cheeks flaming as he realises what an awful compliment that is. Zayn squirms a little at it but Liam’s thumb strokes over his knuckles and he ducks down to press a kiss onto Zayn’s jaw. “Sorry.”
“Stop saying sorry,” Zayn says breathlessly, squeezing his hand reassuringly again. Liam just nods, then wraps his hand around it without warning and gives it a gentle squeeze.
“Shit,” Zayn curses loudly, his hips jerking of their own accord. Liam pauses again, clearly unsure, but when Zayn starts humping his hips up a little he squeezes it again, pumping his hand gently up it a few times. “More,” he finds himself whimpering, not wanting to rush it like Liam instructed him not to but wanting Liam to fucking touch him more than he’s wanted anything. “More, Liam, babe…”
“Baby, baby,” Liam says gently. He huffs a breathy laugh as Zayn’s cock actually noticeably twitches in his grip and Zayn moans, half in pleasure and half in pure embarrassment. “How does it feel?”
“Good, so good,” Zayn slurs. He kicks his legs up and wraps them around the backs of Liam’s thighs, nudging him forward so he can kiss him again. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” Liam says with a soft smile, using one hand to keep himself hovering above Zayn, the other still around his cock. He ducks down to kiss him again, which makes Zayn feel a little calmer. Everything seems so hot around him, almost unbearably so but Liam is a wonderful solid, keeping him grounded as everything starts to go fuzzy with pleasure. “This is about you though, darling, so I wanna make sure you’re good.”
Liam stares for a second, eyes wide as Zayn’s dick twitches in his hand. “You… you like it when I call you darling?” he asks carefully, his hand starting to move slowly again up and down Zayn’s dick. He starts to rub the whole length properly now, lubricating his hand with the precum that Zayn’s steadily blurting. “That gets you hot?”
“Yeah,” Zayn stammers, “yeah.” He’s more turned on than he’s ever been, his legs spreading wider of their own accord. There’s a tight feeling in his belly that he knows well enough but it feels amplified with Liam above him, kissing across his neck and his chest as his hand picks up speed. He moans louder, one hand twisting at Liam’s hair.
“Darling,” Liam says again, taking his hand off and shushing him gently as Zayn lets out an almighty whine. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I just want to try something.”
Zayn takes a deep breath as Liam’s solid presence shuffles down, pressing kisses all over his flushed chest and gently sucking on a nipple. Zayn’s back arches, almost bucking Liam off, but he’s strong and his hands keep him firm. He looks obscene, all innocent puppy eyes staring up at him with caution and care as he presses an open-mouthed kiss over Zayn’s belly button. It’s a sight Zayn wants to commit to memory, wants to keep close to him for all future wanks whether they end in orgasm or not because Liam is so, so beautiful that Zayn’s not sure how he got so lucky.
He thinks he’s probably in love, and he doesn’t really care if it’s too soon. All he knows is Liam is one of a kind and he one hundred percent doesn’t deserve him. His heart aches a little with how much he cares for him, but it’s quickly replaced with pure pleasure as Liam’s mouth gets to his hipbones, trailing a single finger through his dark pubes.
Liam then reaches his thighs, lying on his front and sucking at the soft skin, leaving a little bruise. Zayn chokes out another moan, his hand still fisted in Liam’s hair a bit uselessly. Teeth drag themselves experimentally down the inside of his other thigh, leaving red splotches that Zayn can feel more than see (he’s not complaining) but then soft lips kiss over them, making him feel less self-conscious and so cared for he doesn’t know how to react to it.
“You have such beautiful thighs,” Liam murmurs, and it sounds like he’s talking to himself. “Beautiful, beautiful thighs.”
His hands leave them and Zayn whines at the loss but then Liam’s hovering over him again, his soft eyes scanning over his face. Zayn forces his eyes open and their gazes meet, where they share a gentle smile. Zayn’s shaky hand comes up to rest on Liam’s cheek and Liam covers it with his own slightly bigger one.
“You’re so much,” he whispers. “So much all at once, like, I’ve never… I didn’t think I could care about someone who wasn’t my family this much…”
“Liam,” Zayn all but whimpers, his chest feeling tight again. “Liam…”
“I’m gonna touch you again,” Liam says, nodding half to Zayn and half as if he’s reaffirming the idea in his own head. “Is that what you want?”
“Fuck,” Zayn moans breathily. “So much, Liam, fuck.”
Liam wraps his hand carefully around Zayn’s cock again, kissing him through the loud moan that he can’t help but let out at the feeling. He brings his hand up just once, getting it nice and wet again and Zayn whines as he stills again because it hurts, the unrelenting pressure in his belly and in his dick stronger than it’s ever been.
“Want me to make you come?” Liam asks against his lips. “Or want me to show you how to do it?”
“You,” he eventually grits out, “first everything, yeah?”
“Can… can you show me though?” Liam says. He swallows loudly, brushing his hair from his sweaty forehead. “I’ll make you come, I promise, but I wanna see…”
Zayn’s eyes go wide and his breathing staggers a little. “Promise?” he says, trying not to make it sound like a whimper. “Because I… you won’t…”
Liam presses a lingering kiss onto his forehead. “I just wanna see… and I’ll… I’ll do it with you.”
Zayn nods eagerly. His hands are still shaking as he tugs Liam forward again, dipping them into the tight waistband on Liam’s jeans. Liam props himself up on his knees and fumbles with the button, shoving them and his briefs down in one go. They end up on the floor too and when he realises that Zayn is just staring at him, hungry and unabashed, he blushes.
“What?” he asks as he climbs back over Zayn. “Is this okay?”
“V-very,” Zayn gets out, a lewd smile crossing his face. He dares himself another peak at Liam’s cock – hard and red and curling towards his soft tummy, a little bead of precum visible on the head – and he groans, making pathetic little grabby hands for him to come closer. “Kiss me,” he begs and Liam does just that, fitting his thigh between Zayn’s spread legs and licking into his mouth.
“You’re beautiful,” Liam says as they pull apart. His voice sounds strained and he looks as if he regrets it the second it’s voiced but Zayn moans at his words and he raises his eyebrows in beautiful surprise. “That gets you hot too?”
“Leeyum,” Zayn says weakly. He needs to be touched now. “Liam, touch yourself, show me…”
“Right, right,” Liam says, then wraps a hand around himself. His dick is a lot thicker than Zayn’s, uncut and longer too. There’s a practiced precision to the way he works his hand, thumbing sporadically over the tip before working his hand to the base and it sounds obscene to hear someone else do it to themselves. Belatedly, Zayn realises he’s also started touching himself, only realises as Liam presses a kiss into the corner of his mouth and mumbles a “yeah, yeah, there we go, sweetheart.”
Zayn picks up the pace as Liam continues to come out with these pet names, “darling” and “baby” tumbling out as if they’ve always called each other that and it’s not something they’ve only started in the last half hour. It’s starting to hurt, the pressure in his dick feeling more unbearable than it ever has and he starts to whimper, trying to keep up the frantic pace he’s found himself desperate to keep up at the sight of Liam wanking.
“Darling, darling,” Liam says carefully, taking his hand off himself to cover Zayn’s where he slows the pace. “Too much too fast, Zayn, it’s… I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
“It hurts, Liam,” Zayn whines, but he slows down obediently. “Feel… feel like I could be close, I dunno, help me…”
“I’ll help, I’ll help,” Liam promises. He drops another kiss onto the corner of Zayn’s mouth. “Let go, baby, let me.”
Zayn nods, reluctantly letting go of his cock. Instead, he wraps his arms around Liam’s shoulders, tucking his head into Liam’s neck and clinging to him. Liam readjusts his hand on Zayn’s cock, just trailing his hand up and down with a light pressure.
“Tell me when you think you’re close,” he murmurs into Zayn’s sweaty hair. “I wanna make sure it’s as good as I can make it, yeah?”
Zayn nods awkwardly, pressing his own gentle kiss into Liam’s skin. His breathing is uneven, little choked gasps and moans leaving his lips on each of Liam’s up-thrusts, and it’s good but it’s nowhere near enough. It feels like when he has one of his futile shower wanks, just with someone else’s hand, but then Liam twists his wrist at the same time as he rubs his thumb sharply over his tip and all the air leaves Zayn’s lungs in one long, pornographic moan.
“That’s the stuff,” Liam says, with an honest-to-god giggle that really doesn’t fit how he is right now - he’s dripping with sweat and his voice is tight but he’s being so Liam about it all that Zayn could cry. “Good, baby?”
“I… Liam,” Zayn cries, wanting to keep himself pressed close to Liam but also wanting to look at him, wants Liam’s soft eyes on his while he keeps up these gentle reassurances. Liam twists his wrist again and Zayn lets out another soft cry, palms sliding down Liam’s back as he falls back onto the sweat-damp pillows. His legs seem to be jerking of their own accord, kicking out in all directions as Liam keeps doing his thing, more kisses ghosting over his cheeks and mouth. “Keep… I… more…”
“Baby, breathe for me,” Liam says softly, pushing his limp fringe back. He tucks the hand not on Zayn’s cock under the back of Zayn’s neck and his thumb strokes over it gently. “God, Zayn, you need this so much, don’t you? You’re shaking so much, I can’t believe how good you are, you must need it so much, it’s coming, darling, it’s coming.”
Zayn’s trembling in his arms and it feels like he’s drowning in the pleasure of it all, like his lungs have forgotten how to take in air. He doesn’t really register that he’s moaning loudly until Liam’s shushing him, gently telling him to be quieter in case someone hears in between the sweet nothings and tender pet names that he hasn’t stopped mumbling. Zayn tries, tries to focus in on clinging tighter to Liam as he jerks him closer and closer but then Liam’s kissing him because apparently he’s too loud for Liam to know what else to do.
“You’re so good,” he hears when Liam’s pulled back. “So proud of you, darling, come on, you must be so close now.”
Zayn whines because in all honesty he doesn’t know if he’s close. All he knows is that his stomach feels like it’s in knots, his dick just hurts and he can’t stop shaking like this so he just whimpers louder into Liam’s mouth, feeling remotely pathetic that he needs to be so close and reliant on someone else for his first orgasm when he’s seventeen years old, for crying out loud.
If Liam can sense this embarrassment, he doesn’t mention it. He just keeps the pressure up on Zayn’s cock and Zayn keeps clinging to him, where all he can hear is Liam’s words and the tantalising sound of Liam’s hand sliding up his length.
“So close,” Liam says, tongue poking between his teeth as he slowly picks up the pace. Zayn doesn’t register it at first but the pressure is definitely getting stronger and after a few seconds Zayn registers that Liam is actually talking about himself because he’s started to gently grind his hips down, his wet cock rubbing against Zayn’s bruised thighs.
“You’re close?” he croaks and Liam nods hurriedly. He looks like he’s losing some of his composure; he’s stopped talking and he’s clearly moving with intent now, humping his hips down for relief on his own almost purple cock. “Come for me?”
Liam freezes, hand stilling. “S’about you though,” he protests weakly, but he starts up his movements again before the words have even left his lips. “Oh god, oh god.”
“Come for me,” Zayn says. Liam takes several deep breaths before he lets go of Zayn’s cock with a mumble of something incoherent, then slides their cocks together before taking them both in hand at once. “Oh, oh, oh.”
Liam dips down a little lower, pumping both their cocks at the same time. Zayn gasps as Liam squeezes, his hands skilled and the sensations unlike anything Zayn ever thought he could feel. It’s so much and he wants to come so he covers Liam’s hands with one of his own, using the other to cup at Liam’s face limply.
“Za-Zayn,” Liam pants suddenly and then Zayn feels a sticky wetness on his hand that makes his eyes go wide. His gaze never leaves Liam’s face – his head is thrown back and his lips are parted, a dopey look on his delicate features. He looks ethereal and in ecstasy and Zayn smiles because he helped with this, he made his boyfriend come and he said his name at the same time.
“So good,” Liam’s mumbling again and again as he comes down. He catches his breath, wipes his hand on his pyjama top and then dips down for Zayn’s lips, kissing him softly. “Thank you.”
“Liam,” Zayn whimpers. “Liam, fuck, Liam, please.”
“Shit,” Liam says dumbly, looking back at him almost guiltily. He takes another deep breath and then goes back to his previous position, sitting up on his knees between Zayn’s legs and taking him in hand again. “Okay, baby, here we go. Gonna make you come now.”
Zayn whines, going to wrap his legs around him so he’s pulled forward and they’re lying as close as they can be. Liam’s clever hand starts moving again, thumb pressing against the head and he tucks his head into Zayn’s neck, murmuring broken words that Zayn can’t make out over the ringing in his ear. The tight feeling in his belly is almost unbearable and his legs just won’t stop jerking, he’s wound so tight and he needs to release…
“That’s it,” Liam murmurs, biting gently at the skin and smiling against it as Zayn lets out a little mewl. “Come on, darling, I know you can, come on, come on now.”
“Liam,” Zayn croaks. He’s probably hurting Liam with the way his nails are scrapping at his back but he can’t stop, doesn’t know how to anchor himself any other way. The coil of arousal feels like it’s getting tighter and tighter, his lungs can’t get enough air, his body is sweating and shaking like he’s possessed in some way…
With one final murmur of the world “darling,” Liam gently tugs at his nipple, twisting it in a way that makes Zayn’s back arch. He pants as Liam does it again, the pleasure-pain going straight to his dick and he closes his eyes, fucking his hips up into Liam’s hand while also trying to push his chest forward. He must look a mess but he doesn’t care, just wants more, more, more…
“Baby boy,” Liam murmurs and his voice sounds marvelled. He swipes his thumb over the tip again, pressing down hard onto Zayn’s slit and that’s it, he’s gone.
The tightly-wound coil just releases and it’s almost like being hit by the gentlest of bullets. Zayn feels his whole body jerk, feeling reverberating down all of his limbs like warm honey. Everything feels like it’s burning but in a nice way and it’s floaty, really, the way he feels like he can’t feel at all for a few beautiful split seconds.
He’s not sure when it stops or when he registers that Liam’s hand is gently rubbing up and down his chest, another brushing tears from his eyes that he didn’t even realise he had let fall. He feels lips press onto his forehead and he blinks a few times, bringing Liam’s earnest and beautiful face into focus.
“Hi,” he croaks, picking up one of his jelly arms clumsily and covering Liam’s hand on his chest. “S’good, I feel good.”
“Hi, yourself,” Liam says. He’s smiling, his eyes twinkling with a mix of pride and what Zayn really wants to call adoration. “And I’m glad. You looked so good and you’re just… are you feeling better? Less tense, more relaxed?”
“S’good,” Zayn mumbles again, holding his hand up awkwardly. He manages to tug Liam down for a kiss, lazy and slow, as he finds his breath again. “Like, the best thing ever. Jesus.”
“I’m glad,” Liam says, smiling so wide that his cheeks might hurt. “You looked beautiful, baby. So beautiful when you came like that.”
Zayn doesn’t know what to say so he just pulls Liam on top of him again, knocking him down with a nudge of his foot. Their mouths find each other easily and they kiss for a long time, until Zayn realises with a jolt that he’s already hard again, his hips moving sloppily upwards against Liam’s without him even realising.
“Zayn, Zayn, Zayn,” Liam groans suddenly, pushing his face into Zayn’s neck and thrusting shallowly. He’s also hard, Zayn realises, but the fact that he didn’t mention it is so Liam – always putting Zayn’s needs before his own -that Zayn almost wants to get him off again as an apology. And they are both teenagers, after all, so he keeps rocking his hips with little finesse but lots of intent. His dick feels more sensitive than he was expecting and once again he’s almost surprised by how much he likes the feeling - the thin line between pleasure and pain is tantalisingly good and Liam seems to know this because he wraps a hand around Zayn’s thigh to keep him spread open, fingers digging into the bruises he’s left.
He’s moaning into Zayn’s skin, rutting against his thighs with about the same amount of finesse as Zayn’s displaying. They must look a right sight but Zayn only cares about Liam getting off so he starts to thrust harder, clinging to his back desperately.
“Yeah, that’s it,” Liam chokes out, groaning at every delicious thrust. “So good, but we need, shit, Zayn, please…”
He wraps a hand around them both again, making a tight fist that he keeps fucking into as he strokes them. Zayn tries to keep up but everything around him feels fuzzy again, the pain in his balls heavy and his cock hurts too, but it’s the right kind of hurt, the hurt that Zayn didn’t know he enjoyed until today.
“You sound so good,” Liam grits out, taking a deep breath that comes out strangled. “Want you… want you like this all… all the time…”
He bites down on Zayn’s collarbone, presumably to muffle a moan of his own, but it’s enough – stars start to pop behind Zayn’s eyes and he sobs as he comes for a second time, his whole body going limp and fuzzy in the best of ways again.
He feels lips slide over his and he tries to kiss back but it’s futile; he can barely catch his breath because Liam’s still moving against him and it’s making him feel like jelly. Every cell in his body feels like it’s standing to attention, every touch against his skin red hot and he forces his eyes open again, watching Liam pump away at himself. Their eyes meet and Liam tries to slow down, wincing as Zayn himself winces at every thrust but just a few seconds after Zayn’s heavy hand covers Liam’s, he’s coming with a shout, spurting white over Zayn’s belly.
A few seconds later, Liam’s body topples onto his and Zayn groans, winded. Liam mumbles an apology but Zayn barely hears it because suddenly Liam’s hands are in his hair, scratching at his scalp.
“So good,” Liam’s murmuring, something he’s said a hundred times today but Zayn doesn’t really want to hear anything else. “So good, Zayn. Fuck.”
Zayn rolls over, pressing his face into Liam’s warm chest and biting just above his nipple playfully. “Yeah, yeah, it was. I liked it a lot.”
“I like you a lot,” Liam replies. He’s gone bright red but Zayn can tell by his smile that he means it.
“I like you a lot too,” Zayn says, blushing equally as red. They both stare at each other and then chuckle again, because it’s easy when they’re together and it’s Zayn’s favourite thing. He thinks he likes having that with Liam more than having orgasms, but orgasms are definitely a close second. He thinks he wants them all the time but Liam; Liam, he definitely wants all the time.
“I…” Liam opens his mouth and then closes it again. There’s a pause but then he starts talking again, too quiet for Zayn to hear.
“What?” he asks, rolling over and cringing as the mix of their cum on his belly squelches against Liam’s.
“I said, you looked incredible,” Liam mumbles, tucking his face back into Zayn’s neck. “You, like, you looked like you just lost it, like you were possessed or something, I dunno. But, like, in a good way. I can’t believe I helped you do that.”
“I’m glad it was with you,” Zayn says. He takes Liam’s hand and squeezes it. “I hope… I hope it’s that good when I do it on my own.”
“It’s never been that good before,” Liam admits. “Also, it’s never been this sticky before.”
Zayn’s cheeks flame again. “Oh, yeah. Sorry.”
“We should shower.” Liam wrinkles his nose as he runs his finger through the mess on Zayn’s tummy, drawing an awkward Z that doesn’t do much to help Zayn’s earth-sized endearment. “Before Louis gets back and finds out we had sex in the room we share with him.” He giggles stupidly. “Zayn, we just had sex.”
“I know,” Zayn grins, tilting his head for a quick kiss. “I know.”
Liam flat-out refuses to give him a naked piggy back to the bathroom but they manage to shower together with only minimal distraction (three orgasms in two hours, Zayn beams to himself giddily). Unfortunately, they’re usurped on the way out of the bathroom by the other three who spend the rest of the day yelling about how their shared bedroom has ‘practically become a brothel’ and ‘reeks of debauchery and defilement’ (well, it’s mainly Louis doing the yelling). Liam goes the same colour as the bottle of Coke he tries to hide behind for the majority of dinner but as hard as Zayn tries, he can’t find it in him to be embarrassed. He had sex today.
(They don’t win the X Factor, in the end. Zayn can’t say he isn’t disappointed but Liam’s still there, his arm firm and comforting around Zayn’s shoulders and he thinks maybe he has won, really, in one way or another.)
(He learns to come on his own too, for when Liam isn’t around. Liam’s usually around though – they end up touring the world together and living a life that Zayn didn’t think could exist even in his wildest of dreams. It becomes sort of a running joke between them that even though they’re selling out stadiums, earning obscene amounts and will never want for anything else for the rest of their lives, they’re still happiest curled up somewhere in a little bed, bodies pressed closed and quiet words shared between them. It’s always only been about Liam really. And Zayn intends to keep it that way for a long, long time.)