Millie's Surprise

by Guron65

Summary:

Millie has been acting strange recently, so Blitz arranges for her to visit a special doctor. What's wrong with her? Read and find out.

Chapter 1: Millie's Surprise

Notes:

Update: Finally separated lines between dialogue. I was debating whether to keep this as it was just to see how far I've gone or change it, decided on the latter.

Update (6-30-2023): I commissioned @chanuaree on Twitter to design Martha for me! So I changed her description a bit to fit with the drawing. https://i.imgur.com/brky98u.jpg

Moxxie had just come back to the office after taking out the garbage. A task that should have been simple, if it weren't for the contents of the bag being filled with certain fluids that made him gag from the smell of it, having to carry it to the garbage cans in the back of the building. He was starting to think Blitz was fucking with him by filling the trash bags with the grossest shit he could.

"Just once, I would like a trash day where no one has used the cans as their own personal bathroom." Moxxie complained to himself. The I.M.P office had its own bathroom, but it was so worn out and trashy that it made gas station bathrooms look luxurious. Still, it was functional. Moxxie was on his way there to wash his hands of the remains of whatever was in those trash bags when all of the sudden he heard a loud sound that jolted him straight.

BANG! CRASH!

The sound was coming from the meeting room and kept ongoing. It was as if someone was smashing something in there. Moxxie had deduced that this person was either another 'eccentric' client or a robber.

He really, really hoped it would be the latter.

As he opened the door to the meeting room and looked to his left he saw that it was neither. It was Millie, smashing the remains of what looked like a printer with a war hammer over and over again on the table, making angry grunts as she did. Her loud smashes, as well as her focus on the destruction of the remains, prevented her from noticing Moxxie come in.

"M...Millie?" He said with concern in his voice. Millie was able to hear his voice and snap out of whatever frenzy she was in. She looked at Moxxie with surprise as she stopped herself from hitting the remains with the hammer again.

"I...I'm so sorry if I startled you, sweetie." Millie said regretfully. "It's just that this fucking printer ain't copying any of the damn files I want it to and it's really pissing me off!" She then continued smashing the remains of the printer.

Moxxie approached her to calm her down, but as he did she dropped the hammer and started to rest her head on the side of the table crying. Moxxie tried to comfort her by rubbing her shoulders. "Darling, you're usually not this emotional. Is something wrong?" Moxxie said, again, with concern in his voice.

Millie raised her head up, tears in her eyes. "I don't know, Moxxie. Things that normally would just annoy me piss me off to no fucking end. I've been crying more and..." at this point, she started to look at Moxxie with lust in her eyes, "...and I've also been getting really horny." Millie immediately grabbed and pushed Moxxie on the table before mounting on top of him. Her face then got as close to his as possible.

"I wanna fuck you. Right here, right now." She said in a lustful tone.

"Oh...ok." Moxxie was confused but he was happy to help relieve his wife of any sexual tension she was having. They began to aggressively french kiss as they helped take each other's clothes off. As they were undressing and tongue fucking they heard the creak of the door near them. They turned to the source of the sound and saw their boss, Blitz, at the open doorway, eyes wide open in surprise. He slowly closed the door just enough so he could peek through the crack in the doorway.

"Keep going," Blitz said as he motioned them to continue with their sexcapade.

Two weeks passed and Millie's condition hadn't improved. She was able to let all of her extreme emotions out on jobs, but in the office and at home she was unpredictable. One day she smashed her office phone in frustration when a bunch of dumbasses decided to do a prank call. The other day she threw her and Moxxie's TV out of their window when it was having technical problems she didn't understand. Blitz eventually called a meeting to help figure out what was wrong with her.

"Ok, I think we all know why we're here," he said before looking at Millie, "Millie, these past couple of weeks you've been...what's the word?"

"Psycho," Loona said browsing her phone.

"Yes, exactly. You've been acting like a sex-crazed/angry psycho bitch recently," said Blitz, "and it's costing us our office supplies."

Millie sighed, "I'm so sorry," she said as Moxxie was petting her back to comfort her. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been having these emotional highs and lows and it ends with me wanting to fuck someone's dick off."

"No kidding," Loona interjected, lowering her phone to look at Millie. "You and Mox have been fucking not just in here, but on my desk, in the bathroom which...how? You've fucked in the van, and you've even fucked right in front of our building where everyone could see!"

Moxxie eventually intervened, "That...actually wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

"Hey, at least it gave us free publicity," Blitz said to Loona before looking back at Millie. "Look, I'm not against you fucking in the office. In fact, just the other day Stolas and I banged on the chair of a certain white-haired imp."

"OH, WHAT THE FUCK!?" Moxxie shouted as he got up and pushed his chair away in disgust.

"And I'm even not against you occasionally breaking shit." Blitz continued, "Hell, this cellphone I have right here is the 4th phone replacement this month. But the shit you keep breaking is cutting into our budget to replace them, and we can't have that. This is why it's my professional opinion as your boss for you to go visit a doctor. And before you go blowing your entire salary at a hospital, I'll just recommend someone who's just as good."

Blitz handed Millie a booklet. On it was the picture of what looked like a tall demon woman with a brown robe, a rope around her waist, and a hood. The woman was wearing a plague doctor mask as she looked at them. She could see long strands of white hair come out from each side of her hood as well as a lizard tail poking out from below the robe. On top of it were the massive words Witch Doctor Martha! On the sides of the booklet cover were statements like "Guaranteed curing of demonic illnesses or your corpse back!" and "Don't ask how I got my techniques and tools...seriously, don't."

"She owes me a favor, so I'll call and see if she'll give you a freebie." said Blitz.

Moxxie looked at him with a smile as well as amazement. "W-wow, Blitz. Thank you."

Blitz brushed it off, "Yeah, sure whatever. Moxxie, make sure you clean up all the cum stains you and your wife left behind." Moxxie's face immediately went from happiness to annoyance. "Kidding, kidding!" Blitz said. Ever since he tripped balls back in the D.H.O.R.K.S base he'd been trying to become a slightly better demon. It was still fun to dick with Mox though.

The next day Millie and Moxxie went to visit this witch doctor. Her building looked like a medical clinic but about the size of a park public bathroom. As they entered they saw various charms and skulls decorated across the walls, and in the middle of the dark room was a figure behind a cauldron holding a staff in their left hand. "Hello there, lost creatures of hell." the figure said in an ominous voice. As Millie and Moxxie got closer they recognized the figure as the witch doctor from the booklet. "You must be the imps I had foreseen coming, the damned waters of the cauldron know all."

"Um...not to ruin your whole performance..." said Moxxie, "...but Blitz said you owed him and that he would call you about us." The witch looked at him with an annoyed expression.

"Fucking buzzkill," Martha said, this time with the voice of an annoyed old lady instead of a mystic one. She then turned on the lights and took off her plague doctor mask, revealing her grey and wrinkled face before approaching the couple.

"Yeah, Blitz called me and mentioned you two."

"How did you end up being indebted to him?" Moxxie asked. "I mean, it's Blitz we're talking about here. I just don't see him going out of his way for anyone but himself...at least in the past."

"He helped me procure things I needed to open up my business, but I cannot elaborate further. That falls under don't ask about my methods."

Martha approached Millie. "So, you're the one that's having problems? Extreme Mood swings? Constant Fucking?"

"Yes," Millie replied.

The doctor thought for a bit. "Hm, I think I might know what's happening."

"You do?" Millie responded.

"I can't be certain, I need to confirm something. Did you bring the sample?"

Millie nodded and gave the doctor her urine in a cup, the only thing that the booklet said to bring. "Fantastic," Martha said before eagerly drinking some of the piss from the cup with a loud slurp. "Ahhhhh, good shit."

"Not that I question your...tastes," Moxxie said with disturbance. "But can we please get back to figuring out what's wrong with Millie?"

"There's nothing wrong with her…" The doctor replied, "...she's just pregnant."

"WHAT!?" Millie shouted.

"Oh thank Satan, I was so worried about...WAIT, PREGNANT!?" Moxxie eventually processed.

Martha nodded, "And from the taste of it…" She then began to take a sip from the cup, tasting the piss like a wine expert determining what wine they're drinking. "...twins."

"Excuse me for one second," Moxxie said exhaustingly as he walked outside of the clinic. He could be heard screaming outside. "WOOOOOOOOOO! YES! FUCK YES! Oh, calling me a limp dick huh!? Well, this limp dick managed to get two in there baby! HELL YES!" He then came back inside, appearing calmer as he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I had to let that out."

"Ok, now that that's out of the way, let's talk about how to fix your office mood," Martha said, handing Millie a booklet titled Breathing and Shit. "In there are breathing techniques and other exercises you can do to stop yourself from snapping your phone in half when you answer a spam caller." She then handed her a bowl of what looked like white soup with leaves in it. "And make sure to eat my special concoction soup once a week. It helps with the other mood swings. I'll send you one at the beginning of every week for free, just don't ask what's in the soup. Also, one last thing, Moxxie was it? Make sure you fuck her or at the very least make her cum at home every two days if you actually mind banging in public. Congratulations!"

Millie and Moxxie broke the news to the rest of I.M.P the next day at the office. Blitz was ecstatic, while Loona was mildly annoyed. "Great," She thought to herself sarcastically, browsing her phone. "We'll be having two little Moxxies running around." Blitz put an arm around each of the lucky couple.

"Congratulations! I almost couldn't be any prouder of you two!" said Blitz. "Especially you Moxxie. Who knew that little dick of yours would get a result like this?" Moxxie tried his best not to let his insult ruin the moment.

Blitz took his arm off Millie while keeping an arm around Moxxie. "So Mox, you hope that your kids follow in your footsteps as a murdering badass?"

Moxxie thought for a bit before replying. "While I would love to teach them what I know, I don't necessarily want them to be like me. I have high hopes for them! They could be the right and left hand to Lucifer himself, or the CEO of their own company! But the thing I want them the most to be...is happy with their life. Whatever path brings them the most self-fulfillment, I want to love and support them on that."

Even Millie was surprised by his answer. The amount of confidence he had in it was one of the many, many things that reminded her why she loved him. If only she had that same amount of confidence right now.

It was late in the day and Moxxie was asleep in their bed. Meanwhile, Millie, unable to sleep, sat down on a chair next to their window, looking out into the city lost in thought. At first, she was excited about her pregnancy, but that excitement turned into uncertainty. "Would they be good enough parents?" Millie would think to herself. Normally, she was the confident one while Moxxie was the unsure one. But in this situation, the roles were reversed. Moxxie seemed to brim with confidence about their children, while Millie was unsure about how it would work. She had the idea to call her parents, hoping that they would give her some words of encouragement. So she dialed them up.

"Hey, Millie!" Her mom answered.

"Hey, Ma," Millie replied, "How are things at the farm?"

"Oh, wonderful! We just got a new hand! He ain't as good as Striker, but at least he ain't gonna break your bones if he knows what's good for him. Anyway, what makes you call us this late? Are you finally homesick?"

"No Ma, I just wanted to let you know that...I'm pregnant."

"WHAT!?" Ma shouted, "Hey Joe! Get in here!"

"What is it, darlin'?" Millie heard her Pa in the background of the call.

"Millie's fuckin' pregnant!" Ma shouted.

"SHE'S WHAT!?" Pa shouted back, "...Oh Satan, that's...that's so great. I underestimated that man." Mille swore she could hear Pa crying.

"That's fantastic news sweetie!" Ma said, "I'm so proud of you and even Moxxie. We need more strong demons in this family." Millie sighed, disappointed in Ma's statement.

"Anyway Ma, that's all I wanted to say. I gotta get to bed."

"Alright, We'll come over and visit soon! Love you!"

"Love you too," Millie said before hanging up.

Well, that didn't help much. As if her uncertainty wasn't bad enough, now she had expectations to uphold.

The next day the I.M.P crew came back to the office from a job. They had to kill a cheating husband who drove their client, the cheater's wife, to suicide. The job went well, but Moxxie noticed something was off about Millie. When she split the cheater's head open with her battle axe, she didn't have her usual face of murder joy. He knew something was on her mind.

"I'm gonna go on my break now." She said as the portal closed behind them, walking out of the office and putting her bloody axe on the side of the exit doorway, the blood from the husband dripping on the floor.

"Oh yea, just leave the bloody axe there and let the blood get everywhere on the floor," Blitz said sarcastically, "you're very considerate!"

"I'm going on my break as well," Moxxie said, deciding to follow her.

Blitz was getting extremely annoyed. "Oh ok sure, just leave this mess to me and Loona! I'm sure glad I have such thoughtful employees!" Moxxie didn't listen to Blitz's bitching, his main focus was his wife. He eventually found her on the rooftop, sitting on the side of it looking gloomy.

"Millie," he said, getting her attention. "Is something the matter? You weren't your sweet, joyful self on that hit."

Millie sighed, "You noticed that, huh? I'm...I'm just so conflicted right now. I'm happy that we're about to have babies, but if I'm gonna be completely honest...I'm terrified. I have all these expectations of what kind of parent I want to be, but what if I fuck up? What if our kids end up hating me, or us? What if they do something incredibly stupid? What if everyone ended up hating our kids or hating how we raised them? I just...I just wish I had your confidence hun'."

"Sweetie," Moxxie finally spoke, "I didn't know this was bothering you that much. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I...I don't know. I guess I thought I could handle these feelings myself, plus you seemed so happy and I didn't want to ruin that."

"Millie, listen, I'm terrified as well."

Moxxie's statement surprised Millie. "What? But you seemed so confident when you made that whole spiel to Blitz."

"You mean you didn't notice? Thank Satan, because deep down I'm scared too." He said as he approached Millie. "The thoughts that went through my head are the same ones you're thinking right now."

"But, how are those not keeping you up at night?" She said.

"Well, remember the time when I got kidnapped by those humans in suits?" Millie Noded, "When I was in there they drugged me and Blitz with truth gas. While I was tripping balls under it, I learned some things about myself, mainly that I cared too much about what other people thought. Ever since then, I've been trying to stop caring." Moxxie reached out and grabbed Millie's hands as well as put his face close to hers.

"Right now, the only people I need approval from are me and you. And I'm sure that, as long as we give our children love and support in their time of need, they will love us."

Millie started to rub tears away. "That's so sweet...but my Ma and Pa, they…"

"Fuck your parents, fuck Blitz, fuck the entirety of hell! What do you want Millie?"

The tears started to come down harder from her, "I want the same thing you want Mox. I want them to be happy and to love us as much as we love them."

Moxxie smiled, tears swelling up in his eyes as well. "Then that's all that matters. And I have a good feeling that as long as we're in this together, we can make it happen."

"Oh Moxxie," Millie said, "you have such a way with words."

"Thank you," Moxxie then turned his head away from Millie, "At least somebody recognizes my silver tongue!" He shouted behind him.

"Eat a dick!" Loona shouted back from inside the building.

Millie pulled his head back towards her and kissed him on the lips before embracing him in a hug. "Let's just stay like this for the last minutes of our break," Millie said peacefully.

"I wouldn't think of a better way to spend it," Moxxie said as he embraced her back. Millie still had some concerns, but no matter what happened next, they would go through it together like they always had. Millie decided to never take that for granted.

"I love this imp." she thought to herself.

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading my first dip into the water of fanfiction! It means a lot that you took the time out of your day to read my self-indulgent story of one of my favorite couples!

Chapter 2: Family Reunion

“Well, it’s about time we head back home,” Lin said, exiting Millie and Moxxie’s apartment building.

Lin and Joe kept their word and came by to visit their daughter, leaving Sallie May in charge of the ranch while they did. Lin was catching up on how Millie was doing, especially with the pregnancy. Joe was simply crying on the couples’ shoulders most of the time, overly happy that he was going to be a grandpa. Even a tough guy like him had a sensitive side.

However, their time to leave came. Millie and Moxxie helped put their luggage in the back of their truck before they said their goodbyes. “Good luck, you two!” said Lin, “Having a baby is tough, but I’m confident in y’all!”

“Thanks, Ma.” Millie said, “And...about what I said-” She was implying about the conversation they had yesterday. She had told her parents that she and Moxxie would raise their kids their way, not based on what her parents or whoever else wanted.

“No, it’s fine.” Lin interrupted, “I know we might seem demanding sometimes. We’ve had expectations put on us too when we were your age, and we put that on you. But your Pa and I needed a wake-up call that you’re a grown woman that can make your own decisions.”

Millie smiled as she hugged her ma. Afterward, Lin looked at Moxxie with a smile. “Come here, Moxxie,” she said with her arms spread out, waiting for a hug. “You’re part of this family. If Millie trusts you this much, then you ain’t so bad after all.”

“Thank you, Lin,” Moxxie said as she hugged her.

“And for fuck’s sake, call me Ma!” Millie was a bit surprised about what her ma just said about him. Normally, her parents wouldn’t give Moxxie the time of day. They thought he was just some weak city boy. But that conversation must have changed their tone, not just on her parenting, but on Moxxie as well. Maybe they didn’t think Moxxie was strong enough to get Millie pregnant but were proven wrong. Maybe it was both.

After Millie gave her Pa a hug, he approached Moxxie and immediately cried on his shoulder. Moxxie hugged him while the wetworks fell. “Take care of my grandkids,” Joe told him.

“I will, Pa,” Moxxie said as they finished hugging. The parents eventually got into their car and left, with Millie and Moxxie waving goodbye as they drove off.

“Holy shit, Mox.” Millie said, “I think they just approved of you.”

“Hm, that’s nice,” Moxxie said nonchalantly.

“I figured you’d be happier about that.”

“Honestly, I no longer give a shit about what your parents think. I love you, and I don’t need anyone’s approval for that to be the case,” said Moxxie. Millie liked this new Moxxie. She loved the old Moxxie, but now he seemed more confident. He put his arms around his wife, giving her a passionate kiss before looking into her eyes. Moxxie felt like he could take on all of hell.

His phone then rang. When he pulled it out and saw who was calling, all the confidence escaped from him. It was the last person he wanted to hear from right now: his father.

“Oh, crumbs.” He said, reluctantly letting go of Millie and answering the call. “Hello, father! …Yes, I was actually going to tell you about that…you want me to come over? …right now? Yes, I can do that, father. So long!” Moxxie hung up with a fearful look on his face.

“Fuck me.” He said under his breath.

Moxxie’s family lived in a large black 50 story building in Pentagram City. At the very top of the building was a logo of a red letter S with horns on its top and a tail coming from its end. When he and Millie entered, a secretary greeted them behind a large red marble desk before being escorted down a large hallway to the elevator at the end. They took it to the top floor, and when they exited the elevator, they entered a large lobby. It had chairs, tables, and drapes by the windows on the wall. In front of them was a large pink door with a pattern that made it look similar to those fancy Victorian couches. Millie broke the silence as they approached the door.

“Y’know you never really talked that much about your folks,” she said. Millie knew little, or anything, about Moxxie’s family. When she would ask about them, he would either give a general answer without going into detail or try to change the subject. She just assumed they were a sore subject. Millie knew he had parents and two brothers though, but this would be the first time she ever saw them.

“Well, there’s a reason for that,” Moxxie said with dread. Ever since the trip here, he looked like he had all the energy sucked out of him.

“Why’s that?” Millie replied.

“Let’s just say I would rather deal with your family 500 times over than deal with mine right now.” He said before knocking on the door. The person who opened the door was a man who was quite large, about 2 meters tall. He also had a massive underbite. It was about 17 centimeters and shaped like half of a Viking ship. He had white freckles on the side of their cheeks just like Moxxie did, and horns from the back of his head. Millie saw he was well built, his white T-shirt showing off his muscular arms. He also wore a cap hat, red velcro shoes, and brown shorts that had an imp tail poking out of them.

“Hey! There’s my little bro!” the person yelled, pulling Moxxie into the room and giving him a noogie.

“H-hello there, Primer,” Moxxie said, trying his best not to look annoyed. Millie walked inside and looked around the room. It was a large room with a purple patterned carpet covering the entire floor. In the middle was an enormous pink Victorian couch, and above it was a chandelier. The right side of the room from the entrance had a grand piano, and to the left were portraits and other pictures on the wall. She could see a spiral staircase in the back, leading up to a walkway. Below the walkway was a wide black door. Millie was speechless at how fancy this room was.

“Hey, Stardon!” Primer shouted out into the room. “Guess who’s here!”

Another imp appeared from the side of the room. He was a slender man that was about as tall as Blitz. He wore a black suit with a necktie and had white hair like Moxxie’s between his long horns. “Is that our limp dick brother?” the imp said in a playful tone. After confirming it was, he pulled Moxxie away from Primer and gave him an uncomfortably tight hug. “Though I guess I should call you our little dick brother since you actually got a chick pregnant,” he said before slapping his ass. Both of Moxxie’s brothers were laughing, while Moxxie himself looked pissed off.

The imp that Millie assumed was Stardon approached her, looking over her as he did. “So you’re the lucky lady.” He said with a grin. “You’re pretty cute. Tell you what, if Moxxie doesn’t satisfy you in bed, and let’s be honest, it’s Moxxie we’re talking about here, give me a call. I can definitely give you a good time.” He then gave her his business card. “Can even give you my resume of all the chicks I banged to confirm it.” Millie didn’t appreciate getting hit on, but thanks to either Martha’s breathing techniques and medications or wanting to look good in front of Mox’s family, she kept her cool.

“Stardon, please stop hitting on my wife! She’s not one of your fucking employees that you sexually harass,” said Moxxie with a bit of anger in his voice.

“Aww, come on Mox!” Primer said, putting an arm around Moxxie. “This is how we welcome people into the family.” He then whispered into Moxxie’s ear. “By the way, she pegs you, right?”

“Fuck off!” Moxxie replied, not even trying to hide his annoyance anymore.

Moxxie eventually introduced Millie to his brothers. Stardon was the oldest and was the CEO of his own company. Granted, their father owned it, but Stardon likes to think he had some hand in its successes. Primer was the middle child and a running back for the Beelzebub Flies, a big bloodball team. Millie thought he looked familiar since she was a bloodball fan, but didn’t much care for the Flies.

“Sorry, but I’m more of a Wrathian Spidersnakes fan,” she said. This caused Primer to give Moxxie a disapproving look.

“I already don’t like her, Mox.” He said. Primer hated the Spidersnakes, but only because they beat his team one time. Not just beat, humiliate.

Millie tried to change the subject. “This a mighty fine place y’all got here,” she said.

“Of course, only the best for the founder and CEO of Smithson Industries,” Stardon responded. Millie looked confused, as she had never heard of them before. Stardon noticed, “Smithson Industries? One of the biggest weapons manufacturers in all of hell? Famous overlords use our guns? None of this ringing any bells?” Millie shook her head. She was more into the “up close and personal” approach when it came to weapons. Even when she used guns, she never paid attention to who made them.

“Seriously, you’re married to my brother and you don’t know any of this?” Stardon said, surprised.

“Nope, and to be honest, he barely talked about you,” Millie answered.

Stardon gasped before going to Moxxie, who simply stood around, annoyed with his arms crossed. “Moxxie, don’t tell me you’ve been leaving your girl in the dark about us. And after all the times we had together,” he said as he pointed to the pictures on the wall. One of them was a picture of Primer in his gear on a bloodball field about to throw a ball. But instead of a ball in his hand, it was Moxxie tied up and screaming for his life.

“Look at this one,” Primer said, pointing to the picture. “Moxxie helped me practice before my very first big game,” Moxxie explained to Millie that Primer broke all the normal balls, so he used him as a replacement. That’s how Moxxie became so resilient.

“Oh, how about this one?” Stardon said, pointing to another picture. It was a picture of all three brothers, Stardon on the left, Moxxie in the middle, and Primer on the right. The two brothers smiled in the picture while Moxxie looked pissed off, holding a black violin with the strings broken. “We were wishing Moxxie good luck with his musical dreams,” said Stardon. Moxxie was especially pissed about that time because that violin was one of a kind, and his brothers ruined it.

“Oh, we can’t forget about this one!” Stardon pointed to a picture of Moxxie in a pink dress, looking embarrassed. “This one was when we helped Mox pick out his clothes for his first day of high school!” Looking back, Moxxie was actually quite proud of that dress. He made it work.

Millie noticed that the pictures on the wall had Moxxie either humiliated or miserable, something that she brought up to her brothers-in-law. “Not all of them are like that,” Stardon said, pointing to another picture. “In this one he’s happy.” The picture he pointed to was of Moxxie showing his music award on a stage, the same music award he had on his wall at home. Just when she thought that there was one picture that celebrated Moxxie’s accomplishments, she noticed the picture was taken moments before what looked like hog blood poured on him, possibly by one of his brothers. She always thought that the award had an odd smell.

“Oh, my goodness!” Millie heard someone say, coming from upstairs. On the walkway was a female imp with a white dress and long black hair. She had long black horns similar to Stardon as well. She hurriedly walked down the stairs and gave Moxxie a hug, as well as a bunch of kisses on the forehead. “There’s my Moxxie Woxxie!” She said, her voice sounding elegant but excited.

“Mother!” said Moxxie, “This is the first time you’ve given me this much attention since I was six.”

“Well, if I knew you were going to be the first among my boys to give me grandchildren, I would’ve given you more love.” His mother said, who Millie would later learn was named Catherine. “Now where’s your bride?”

Moxxie introduced her to Millie. When Catherine saw her, she had a look of disappointment on her. “Oh, this is her? I was expecting someone more...elegant.”

“Howdy the-” Before Millie could finish her greeting, Catherine gaged, putting a hand over her mouth. When she finished, she looked towards Moxxie.

“You never mentioned her being a country girl,” Catherine said in an annoyed tone, implying that she hated her accent.

“Well, ye-” Millie tried to speak before being interrupted again.

“Don’t talk!” Catherine shouted, trying to fight the urge to throw up. “I despise demons who do not speak proper English. You might as well be speaking Spanish, which I also hate.” She took a deep breath before facing away from Millie and going back to her cheery self. “Oh well, we’ll just have to make sure the grandchildren don’t end up like her. I’ll go let your father know your home.” She then left the room through the double doors under the walkway. If it wasn’t clear to Millie why Moxxie didn’t enjoy talking about his family before, it was now.

When Millie looked to her side, she saw Moxxie was gone. She looked around and found him in the room's side, opening a black nightstand. He pulled out a picture frame and looked at it with a smile. Millie approached Moxxie to see what was on it. It was a picture of a young Moxxie between two demons. The demon on his left was a man who had the form of a brown wolf in a cowboy outfit, with a hat and everything. He wore brown gloves with metal plates on the back of them. On Moxxie’s right was a woman with a small duck beak and curly orange hair. She had the white fur of a duck as well and wore a blue dress. All of them looked happy in the picture.

“Who’re those people?” Millie asked.

“These were my mentors.” Moxxie replied, “The wolfman here, that was Jessie. And the woman there was Amanda, his wife. They were overlords, but not like Valentino and those other assholes. They cared about the people they ran over and wanted to make hell a better place. In a way, they were like Princess Charlie but without that hotel project.”

“Wow, sweetie. How’d you get to know overlords?”

“Well, my father was hiring overlords to tutor me in the art of firearms. They were the only ones to agree to do so. Jessie taught me how to shoot, while Amanda taught me music. She’s the reason I have a love for it. Both of them taught me the important things in life. To me, they were the closest thing to real family I had.” As Moxxie was explaining, Millie couldn’t help but put her arms around his and smile, as he looked so happy remembering the times he had with them.

Primer overheard Moxxie talk about the overlord mentors and interrupted. “Oh yea, those guys. The overlords that dad got pissed off at because they made you too soft. So he fired them.” Moxxie’s smile turned into a frown.

“Where are they now?” Millie asked.

“Dead, or more dead.” Moxxie replied, “Killed by Exorcists during Purge Day a while back. They were trying to get all the homeless demons into a shelter so they could be safe. The exterminators came, and they tried to buy the demons some time.” Millie could see a tear roll down one of his eyes.

“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry.” She said, comforting Moxxie.

“Oh yea, I remember that.” Primer said, “Man, what a bunch of dumbasses. Imagine risking your soul for some dumb demons that can’t help themselves? And these guys were overlords? Fucking pathetic.”

This was the last straw for Millie, who, until now, had tried her best to behave for Moxxie’s sake. But Primer had crossed a line. So she approached Primer.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” she yelled, catching Moxxie’s and Stardon’s attention. “Your own damn brother is mourning them right now! Show some fucking respect!”

“Woah lady, chill out.” Primer said, surprised by the attitude Millie was giving.

“Don’t tell me to fucking chill out, you big dumbass!” She snapped back before grabbing him by the collar and pulling him down to her level. “You might be a big shot, but as long as I’m here, you will not treat my husband and his feelings like a joke!” They gave each other angry stares. Moxxie was happy for his wife, standing up for him and saying the things he wanted to say to Primer. She truly was the perfect imp for him. But at the same time, he was ashamed that he couldn’t say these things himself. He thought he’d change, but he guessed not that much. Just as it looked like things were about to get bad, Catherine came into the room.

“Your father is ready to see you, Moxxie.” She said.

Millie let go of Primer before giving him a double middle finger, a gesture he gave back. She approached Moxxie as she saw him put the frame in his pockets. “How are you doing, Mox?” she asked. Moxxie just gave her a hug.

“I’m sorry,” he said, trying to fight back tears.

“Oh, don’t worry,” she said as she hugged back. “if I had a penny for every asshole cousin or uncle I had to deal with, I wouldn’t have to work. But I would still work because I love my job.”

“No,” said Moxxie, letting go of Millie and keeping his hands on her shoulders. “I mean, I’m sorry that you had to stand up for me like that.”

“It’s ok, sweetie,” she said as she put his hand on his cheek. “You don’t always have to be the strong one. We’re in this together, remember?”

This made Moxxie slightly happier. “Thank you, Millie.”

“Y’know, we don’t have to see your dad. We can just leave.”

“No, I need to talk to him,” Moxxie said. With his hand holding Millie’s, he went through the black double doors. The room was sizable, and all that was in there was a large, black, crescent-shaped desk facing the doorway they entered. Behind the desk was a revolving chair facing a window wall that overlooked Pentagram City, and to the left of the desk was the portrait of an imp. This imp looked almost exactly like Moxxie, except he looked old and had slightly longer white hair and a white beard. He also wore a black bowler hat and glasses, along with a tuxedo.

Catherine stood to the right of the desk as the revolving chair turned towards Millie and Moxxie, revealing who was sitting on the chair. It was the same imp from the portrait. “Hello, my boy.” the imp said with an elegant tone, not unlike Catherine.

“Hello, Father,” Moxxie replied, sounding a bit reserved. Millie would learn later that his name was Smithson, like the company.

“I wish you would’ve told me about my grandchildren sooner. I had to learn about it through your boss’s voxtagram. Do you know how much of an insult it is to my eyes reading his posts? I swear it’s hard for me to believe he graduated primary school.” Moxxie just silently cursed Blitz.

Smithson continued, “Honestly, I should be happy for you. But all I see in you is just disappointment. Even more so since you married this woman.”

“What do you mean, Father?”

Smithson got up from his seat and walked towards his portrait. “Do you want to know how I became the founder of this company?”

“Is it because you killed your competitors and threatened investors?” Moxxie answered.

“It’s because I was determined! Imps are the lowest in hell’s hierarchy, but I was able to claw my way to the top and be respected by its denizens. That is how I’m able to make sure my children could be as successful, if not more than I was.” Smithson slowly approached Moxxie. “I will admit, the moment you were born, you underwhelmed me. Stardon had brains and Primer had brawn. But you at first glance had nothing, except heart and passion. That is why I was so hard on you. Because I thought your special talent would show through adversity, much like mine did. I even hired those overlords thinking they would make something out of you, but instead they ruined you. ”

Moxxie finally spoke up. “They didn’t ruin me, Father. They gave me confidence and made me happy wi-”

“They made you weak!” Smithson interrupted. “Ever since then, you’ve squandered your potential. I let you run around Imp City, trying to chase your dream of being a musician. I thought the experience would strengthen you and make you realize how futile it all was. But then you join that backwater assassin group and marry this lowborn woman! She has made you complacent! You no longer strive for the top!”

“But father, I have been improving, and I’m good at what I do!”

“It’s not always about skill, Moxxie!” said Smithson. “It’s about the prestige it gives you. Yours will never grow as long as you stay with them. Yet you do, partially because of ignorance of your own potential and partially because of your wife keeping you there! That is why I’m disappointed in you, and I will not have my grandchildren follow the same fate!” Moxxie clenched his fist in anger, while Millie was trying her best not to rip this guy’s head off. She wanted to let Moxxie handle this.

Smithson sat back down. “But I am willing to give you a second chance. So, here is what you are going to do. First, you are to quit I.M.P and work with another assassin I know that has a better reputation. You will grow better under him. Next, you will divorce your wife. We’ll hire lawyers that can charm the horns off of Satan himself to make sure you get custody of your children.”

Millie couldn’t hold in her anger anymore. “You pube-faced snotty mother-” Before Millie could finish, Moxxie put his arm in front of her. He then gave her a look that let her know that he’s got this. He walked up to his father’s desk and slammed his hands on it, much to the surprise of his parents.

“Let me make something clear, Dad! My life may not look good to you, but I’ve been happier now than I’ve ever been with you! This woman made me feel special and loved, whereas you treated me like a fucking puppet! And she’s not the only reason I stay with that ‘backwater assassin group.’ I stay there because, unlike you, they treat me like a fucking adult and respect me for who I am rather than making me someone I’m not. Now, let me tell you something! We are going to raise our children the way we think is right, not what you think is right! Better yet, don’t get involved with my life at all! I don’t need you, and to drive the point home I’m going to say something I’ve wanted to say since I graduated high school: Fuck you, Dad!”

Throughout his whole tirade, Smithson didn’t say a thing. All he did was give a scowl. Millie couldn’t have been more proud of her hubby. Moxxie’s attention went from his father to his mother, who was still shocked. “And fuck you too, Mom! Millie’s accent is the cutest thing ever. You have no taste!”

Catherine gasped, “How dare you! I did not raise a badmouthing-”

“It’s fine, dear,” Smithson interrupted. “If our son wants to waste his life in mediocrity, then so be it. Just know Moxxie, the moment you leave this room you will be disowned!”

Moxxie gasped sarcastically. “Oh no, I’m being disowned? Boo fucking hoo! Honestly, that’s probably the best thing you’ve ever done for me!” Moxxie opened the doors for Millie before looking back at his parents one last time. “By the way, I had a dream about you two being murdered one time. It was the best dream I ever had!”

Moxxie left the room with Millie at his side. He saw Stardon and Primer on the couch talking and decided that he had a bit of anger to share with his brothers. “And you two!” he said, giving the middle finger to both of them. “You two can go suck a big one!” Moxxie and Millie then left the room into the lobby. Just when they thought he was gone and they could discuss what the fuck just happened, he peaked his head back in to yell some more.

“And yes! I do get pegged, and it feels amazing! You should try it sometime!” He then shut the door for the last time.

Moxxie walked into the middle of the lobby and stopped to pant. Millie came by him and put a hand on his back. “How’re you feeling, Mox?”

“Honestly, I feel fucking great.”

“That was a real brave thing ya did there,”

“Thank you, dear. I’m sorry I’ve never told you about them. I just didn’t want to drag you into their bullshit.”

Millie kissed Moxxie on the lips. “Remember what you told me on the rooftop. We’re gonna get through this together.” She said. Moxxie smiled.

“Thank you for reminding me, dear.” he said, “You know, ever since I married you I told myself that if we ever have children, I would not be like my parents.”

“Is that why you were so confident in raising our kids?”

“In a way, yes. I might not have known how to be a parent, but at least I knew how not to be one.” He then pulled out the picture frame from his pocket. “Come to think of it, I might have had a role model or two.”

“They would’ve been so proud of you,” Millie said.

“And I think they would’ve liked you. Jessie would’ve anyway.” Moxxie put an arm around Millie. “Now let’s head home. I need to satisfy you. Doctor’s orders.”

Millie giggled, “I’d love that, hubby.” As they walked into the elevator and went down, she asked Moxxie a question. “Do you think your dad’s gonna do anything?”

“Eh, he’s an asshole, but he’s reasonable,” Moxxie answered, “I doubt he’ll do anything more than disowning me...probably.”

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed my take on Moxxie's past. I tied in the whole theory of him being raised by overlords as well.

Chapter 3: Of all the Times

Notes:

While this story is part 1 of the Helluva Boss Alternate Continuation series, this chapter takes place after the events of Bonding Time, which is part 2 of the series. You don't have to read it to understand what's going on in the chapter, but if you want to know why Octavia is hanging out with I.M.P you are free to do so before reading this. Enjoy!

It was that time of the year. Blitz got everyone into the meeting room for their performance review. It barely meant anything and was mainly just an excuse to bully Moxxie more than he already did. Blitz pulled out some notes before speaking. “All right! First up, Loona. You’re doing great sweetie, keep it up!” He always said that when it came to Loona. She couldn’t care less though, as she was sharing her head buds with Octavia, both of them head bobbing to the heavy metal being played on her phone. “Next up, O!”

Octavia pulled out her head bud. “Yeah?”

“You’re doing good, but I feel like you could do better. Out of the 32 people we killed last month, you only killed 12.” She and Millie were the only members he gave actual feedback to.

“I didn’t know we were keeping score. Besides, the jobs we got so far didn’t require a high amount of dead bodies.” Octavia had been with I.M.P for a few months now, and so far she hadn’t had a hit as exciting as her first.

“That’s not an excuse to not do your best, O. But I guess you’re right. Not every hit can be as intense as paranoid mafia. Alright Moxxie, your turn!” This was the part where Blitz would nitpick on everything Moxxie did, so he prepped for the worst.

“...You’ve done great.”

His statement surprised Moxxie. Blitz continued, “Yea, you’re killing lots of people efficiently. I especially liked that one time your bullet ricocheted off that wall into that one guy’s skull. That was creative.”

“Th-thank you Blitz,” Moxxie responded.

“Don’t let it get to your head. You can still be better. Just keep getting good.” Moxxie nodded with a smile. “And last, Millie! You’re amazing girl! Even with that baby bulge, you’re still licking all kinds of ass!”

“Thanks, Biltz!” She said. Millie was at that point in her pregnancy where her belly was quite large. But that didn’t hinder her work. By the way she killed people you could hardly tell she was in the late stages of pregnancy.

“You still gotta make her cum Mox?” Blitz said, “Bet it’s weird doing it with a pregnant woman.”

Before Moxxie could tell him to shut the fuck up, Millie spoke. “Mox’s actually really good with it. He’s always happy to make sure I’m happy.” Moxxie admitted he enjoyed sex with Millie pregnant more than he would’ve thought. Maybe a bit too much. He then wondered if something was awakening within him. Before he could finish his thought, the door to the office opened. When Blitz saw who was coming in, he saw a sinner with brown hair, a greasy green T-shirt, and cargo pants come in.

“Is this I.M.P?” the sinner said with a country accent.

“Indeed, it is!” Blitz said before guiding him into his office and sitting him down.

The sinner talked. “So my parents die, right? And my uncle took me into his trailer at this trailer park. He was ok, but then he found out about my life insurance and how much he would get if I died. So he kicked me into the middle of a busy freeway to make it look like an accident so he would get all that money.”

“So, you want us to kill your uncle?” Blitz asked.

“Yea, I want you to kill him. He still lives in the trailer park. Must’ve spent most of that money on booze. Forgot to mention he’s an alcoholic.”

Blitz agreed to the hit and after some paperwork and prep, Loona summoned the portal to their destination and the hit crew went through. The trailer park was in the middle of a forest area, which meant sneaking would be easy since they could hide behind lots of trees. It also helped that it was sunset. Blitz told Octavia to scout one side of the park for their target, whilst Blitz, Millie, and Moxxie scouted the other.

While Blitz’s crew scouted their side, he saw a large ranch in a glade that was right next to them. He was excited, as a ranch meant there were horses. Not demonic horses like in hell, but earth horses. He was so entranced by the ranch he didn’t notice Octavia coming and telling them she found the target. The crew followed her, accidentally leaving Blitz behind as he approached the large barn house.

The house turned out to be a stable. Blitz learned this as he snuck through an open window into one of the stalls. In the stall, he saw a short, brown mare with black hair. It was the most beautiful horse he had ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of horses. As he approached the mare, it whinnied away against the side of the stall. Blitz just put his hands up towards her, trying to reassure her he was no threat. He slowly approached the mare until eventually, he touched her head, which turned into a soft pat. She let him rub her chin and snuggle his cheek against her face. Blitz couldn’t be anymore happier.

The door to the stable opened, and Blitz quickly hid inside the nearby bucket. He peeked out as the door to the stall opened, revealing two men. One of them wore overalls and a hat, while the other wore a shirt with a sleeveless vest and jeans. The vested man gave the man in overalls some money.

“Here she is, buddy.” The overall man said.

“Wow, she sure is a beauty.” The vested man said, looking over the mare as it shook in fear.

“Yep, she’s JRHNBR.”

“...a what?”

“Just the Right Height, No Bucket Required. I thought all you horse fuckers knew that one?” That word caught Blitz’s attention. He immediately understood what this all was, and it made him angry. If there’s one thing Blitz hated more than Verosika, Fizzarolli, or his own sister, it was horse fuckers.

“I just started two weeks ago.” The horse fucker said.

“Whatever, you got 30 minutes to do your thing.” The overall man said before leaving. As the horse fucker was undoing his pants, Blitz jumped out from the bucket and stabbed him in the chest repeatedly with his knife until the man stopped moving.

"You won’t hurt another fucking horse ever again!” Blitz said. He then heard the door to the stable open and saw the overall man enter.

“Sorry, I forgot my pitch-” before the man could finish, he saw Blitz on top of a corpse. He screamed in horror as he ran away, screaming at his buddies thinking that it was some weird wolf. Blitz made a beeline outside and back towards the trailer park.

While that side adventure was going on, Octavia and the others were inside the trailer of their target. She looked out the window as a lookout while Millie snuck up behind the target as he was sitting on his beanbag chair watching TV. She pulled out her garotte and strangled him to death. “Great job, dear,” Moxxie whispered to Millie.

“Thanks, Mox.” She whispered back. Octavia looked around and noticed that Blitz wasn’t with them.

“Has anyone seen Blitz?” Octavia asked.

“I thought he was with you,” Moxxie replied.

“Fucking dammit, where could he be?” She said. Shortly after, Blitz jumped through the open window of the trailer and saw the rest of the gang.

“Oh, there you all are.” Blitz said, “And you killed the guy, great! We gotta go now!” A bullet flew through the window. When they looked outside, they saw a mob of angry people with rifles and pistols shooting at them. The crew ran outside, avoiding their shots, and took cover behind a large log on the side of the trailer park.

“What the fuck did you do, Blitz!?” Moxxie yelled.

“Why are you assuming I’m responsible for this!?” Blitz responded.

“Because most of the time you are!”

“Yea, I’m not going to lie, dad, you start the most shit out of all of us,” Octavia said. Even Millie was nodding in agreement.

“Ok fine, I might have killed some dude and his friend found out,” Blitz said, “but he deserved it! It’s no big deal. We just kill these assholes and we’re home free. It can’t get any worse.” Just then, a big burst of flame came out from between Millie’s legs like a flamethrower. After that was done, she held onto her belly while moaning in pain.

“Oh fuck, my fire broke!” Millie shouted.

“Oh, shit!” Moxxie said, knowing exactly what that meant. “The babies are coming!”

“Oh, of all the times those little shits had to come out!” Blitz yelled. Despite what he said, Blitz was prepared. He quickly removed Millie’s pants before pulling out a towel and placing it on her legs. “It’s ok, I have experience with this.”

“Wait, you do!?” Moxxie said.

“Yea, back at my old job I helped some customer give birth. Sure, the baby ended up being stillborn, but that’s not important right now! We need to get these babies out of her! Millie, you do what I say when I say it, ok!?” Millie nodded, trying her best to handle the pain of childbirth. “Moxxie, you keep close to your wife! She needs you right now!” Moxxie nodded as he held Millie’s hand. “O, make sure these horse fuckers don’t come anywhere near here!”

“Gotcha!” Octavia said before pulling out and dual-wielding two karambits and sneaking into the shadows.

“Alright Millie, I need you to push, girl!” Blitz commanded. Millie pushed down on her belly as hard as she could while screaming in pain. “That’s it, push! Push harder than you push your strap on into Moxxie’s asshole! I’m sorry Moxxie, that’s the last pegging joke I make, I swear!” At this point, Moxxie didn’t care how many he made as long as he could get the babies out.

While that was happening, Octavia jumped from shadow to shadow as she sliced and diced the posse members. They tried to shoot at her, but because of how fast she was, as well as hard to see, that would prove extremely difficult.

“Alright! I see the horns coming out!” Blitz yelled. Millie continued to push down while Moxxie gave her support. Eventually, the first baby came out. It was a boy with hair like Moxxie’s but with black hair instead of white. Unlike human babies, imp babies came out of the womb with hair and they didn’t have to deal with an umbilical cord. “Alright, that’s one down. One more to go!” Blitz said. A posse member managed to get a look over their log before Octavia grabbed her from behind and stabbed her in the neck.

Millie pushed her hardest for just a bit more. To her, this experience was probably more painful than anything she’s ever done. Even fighting for the bouquet at her brother’s wedding. Then again, she didn’t have Moxxie to comfort her back then, so it wasn’t all too bad. After some screaming and blood both from Millie and the posse Octavia was killing, the second baby finally came out. It was a girl with hair like Millie’s, but white instead of black. The babies cried as Blitz held them up.

“You did it! A boy and a girl!” Blitz said. Millie eagerly reached out to her kids, a gesture which Blitz responded with by giving her the babies. They stopped crying the moment she held them, and she couldn’t stop smiling.

“Oh, Satan. They’re beautiful.” Millie said.

“They really are,” said Moxxie, looking at his kids with the biggest smile he could foster. He pointed to the boy. “This one has your hair color.”

“And this one has your eyes.” She said, motioning toward the girl. While they were admiring their new children, Blitz looked over their log cover.

“Ok, we’re ready to-” Blitz then saw Octavia covered in blood, surrounded by dead bodies. “Oh, you already took care of them all. That’s my girl!” Octavia just smiled, happy that she finally got to kill lots of people.

Thanks to the imp’s fast regenerative abilities, Millie could stand up without too much trouble. She made the towel Blitz put on her into a makeshift dress. Blitz called Loona to tell them they did the job, and she summoned the portal back. Octavia was the first to pass through it and Loona noticed all the blood on her. She couldn’t help but smile about her sister finally upping her kill count. That smile turned into a frown as she saw Millie coming in, holding two babies with Moxxie close to her. So the day finally came, two more Moxxies came into this world.

Just when things couldn’t get any worse, Loona saw Blitz come in on a short, brown horse. “Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” She shouted at him.

“This horse has been through a lot, ok!” said Blitz, “It’s coming with us and you can’t stop me!”

While that was going on, Millie sat down and looked at her kids some more. Moxxie joined her. “Y’know, I never got why people said babies were cute,” Millie said. “I didn’t hate ‘em, but I didn’t go crazy over them. But with these two, I think I get it.”

“They are precious,” Moxxie said, still admiring his children. He then put an arm on Millie’s shoulder. “We’re going to be great parents, Millie.”

“I know, but it feels nice to be reminded.”

“Well, everything worked out great!” said Blitz. “You two got kids, and I got a new daughter!” He began patting the horse’s head. “It’s ok, no one will hurt you here. I think I’ll name you Spindle.” Blitz looked at Loona and Octavia, who were both annoyed about him bringing a fucking horse into the office. “Don’t worry girls, I still love you.”

“Why the fuck would we be jealous of a goddam horse?” Loona said.

As Blitz was admiring his horse, Moxxie was reminded of something. “Oh shoot, we need to name them.” He was going through his head about possible names like Mistoffelees, Christine, or Javert. Millie then came up with what she thought were the perfect names for them.

“How about we name the boy Jessie and the girl Amanda?” She said. Moxxie looked back at her surprised, tears swelling up in his eyes.

“...I would like that a lot.” Moxxie put an arm around Millie and put his cheek to hers as they watched their kids giggling. At this moment, they were both the happiest imps in all of hell. Just being with each other was enough for them, but Jessie and Amanda’s arrival felt like an award for their love. They were going to make sure they loved these kids the same way they loved each other.

Part of Moxxie was going to miss the pregnant sex, though.

Notes:

Thank you so much for reading Millie's Surprise! Expect more Helluva Boss stories in the future!

Series this work belongs to:

• Part 1 of Helluva Boss Alternate Continuation