Work Text:
The chatter of the inn's dining room reached his ears, bits of conversation being picked up and filtered out as he sat by himself on a bench. It was a highly rated inn, so the materials it was constructed from were all of the highest quality and sturdy enough to take a beating from the very intoxicated people milling about making noise. Using his Concealment skill, he avoided detection by the people around him, unknowing of the Hero's existence, watching as they passed by, chattering and interacting warmly - or not - with each other. Hawkin and Jeskin were in a corner, drinks in hand as they talked with easy-going enough expressions, while Hyrince was saying something presumably teasing to Yaana, who seemed flustered with her face tinted pink as if drunk. He smiled wryly and wondered if he should intervene. Especially when she glanced at him - but she quickly turned away, so maybe not?
But, all in all, it was quite peaceful and normal here.
And yet, despite that, he couldn't stop his hands from reaching up and gripping the fabric of his late mother's scarf tightly, feeling the smooth texture against his bare skin. While he normally wore his armor most of the time due to it being a hassle to take off and on, he had removed his gauntlets this time. He felt exhausted, having had trouble sleeping for a while. Well, it couldn't be helped, considering what was going to happen and all the suffering as a result. And he was worried if they were all going to make it out alive. He wanted to be able to see his family again… But in the worst case scenario...
So despite the almost festive mood, he couldn't make himself relax at all. Maybe he could just lay on the bed until he just passed out from exhaustion? He had done it before, perhaps not unbeknownst to the rest of his friends, though they didn't really bring it up, only exchanged a worried glance and whispered words.
He sighed heavily and walked out of the room, closing the door with the softest of thuds.
Everyone else, huh?
He had his doubts he would make out of this, kept deep in his heart and clawed at his insides when he looked at his friends and at his family when visited them. It was quiet, but it was there.
Like Hyrince. He was the one he was most and least worried about. On one hand, he was the tank of their party and had the advanced form of the Sheldmanship skill, Shield Mastery, as well as the legendary phoenix feather of anything when wrong. Since he was always taking blows for them, it was also the case that he might be in the most danger, in a sense, despite his defenses.
As for Yaana… She was the Saint, and more importantly, he loved her. He did, actually feel the same way, but he couldn't respond to those feelings. Wouldn't turning whatever relationship they had now into a romantic relationship just make it hurt so much more when he died? He was already going to hurt his loved ones on his path of pursuit in his hopeless ideals by dying for them, so shouldn't he at least try to keep his distance here?
Keep his distance, from her….
That was what he thought, at least, and took a deep breath.
Julius shook himself from his thoughts long enough to walk over to his bed and flop down on the mattress.
Hawkin and Jeskan, too.
All of you...
There was a knock at the door and he lifted his head, suddenly alert. Did he doze off? he wondered as he lifted his head up slightly, turning his gaze towards the door.
"Can I come in?"
That was Yaana, sounding a bit nervous for some reason, he realized with a small frown and lifted himself into a sitting position, crossing his legs. He paused for a moment, before concluding that it was actually more of an exasperated tone than true nervousness or annoyance, meaning it was probably just Hyrince. After a moment, he raised his voice and called back, "Yeah. Door's open." He had forgotten to lock it, now that he thought about it - that wasn't good. Guess he really was tired.
Yaana quickly walked in and closed the door a bit too loudly, pressing herself against the door - he winced. She looked a bit frustrated, more so that her voice had let on. In fact, she looked tongue-tied and wasn't meeting his gaze.
"...is everything already?" he tried asking when she didn't make any move to start talking about it. For some reason, he was already bracing for impact.
She inhaled a quick breath and frowned for a split second.
"No!" Yaana said sharply, walking right up to him as he leaned back in surprise and jabbed him in the chest with a finger. "And it's all your fault, Julius."
Huh?
"W-what?"
"It's not like everyone doesn't know you're smitten for me too, so what do you just…" Then she trailed off, but both of them knew what she was going to say anyways. And that made Yaana mad.
Ah…
"Yaana-"
"I know what you're going to say, and it's stupid." Yaana seemed like she might cry.
That… hurt. There was pain blooming in his chest and he suddenly couldn't meet her gaze, burning into his. She looked almost as hurt as him, and he almost wanted to change his mind, foolishly. He didn't want to hurt her, but… it seemed he was doing that anyway.
Julius swallowed, then asked, "... is there any way I can make this better?"
"Kiss me."
"I-"
"I'm not asking you to date me or marry me; just kiss me, you idiot."
Does he want to?
…
Well, yeah, he sort of does, even if he wasn't sure if he should be wanting to at the moment, and when he nodded, Yaana just gave him a look. Then he said it outloud, his voice surprisingly steady: "Yeah." He swallowed. "I'll kiss you.'
Yaana wrapped her arms around him.
Her face was flushed pink now, and Julius could feel her heartbeat speeding up slightly as she pressed her body against him. He could sense his body reacting too, hormones pumping into his head and everywhere else. And his emotions were muddled together, but he could still figure out that he wanted her.
Just a kiss… he thought as her warm breath brushed against his face as he leaned in.
Then he kissed her.
It was nothing like it was in books, but, he realized, it still felt good.
Warm. Soft. And he ended up toppled over with Yaana over him, pinning him to the bed with her weight.
When she leaned back, her eyes were teary.
"...after the war, will you marry me?"
After the war, is there going to be a happily ever after? Where everyone, him included, will be safe?
Maybe not for him. Not him, as the Hero.
The title was a weight, crushing his chest.
But Julius found himself opening his mouth to speak anyway.
"Yeah."
Yaana blinked and the tears fell, but she nodded.
Oh Yaana…
I'm sorry.
I told you a lie.
But you probably already know that, right?