Chapter Text
“Don’t be a dick.”
Crowley snorted. “Why would I be a dick?” He looked down at his cousin Bea with their shaggy hair, oversized black t-shirt and fishnets.
Bea stomped their docs on the sidewalk. “You always like to act flashy at things like this. Don’t be a dick.”
Crowley grinned. It was his cousin Bea’s 23rd birthday. They were headed to a pub where they were meeting a mixture of family and friends that she had made during her university days that she kept in touch with. Crowley was 28 and had gotten lucky after university. He had money and he liked to spend it.
“I’ll be on my best behavior, I promise.”
Bea grumbled as they pulled open the pub door. They were greeted by a course of “Happy Birthday’s!”
“Fuck off” Bea yelled back at them.
The group had pushed some tables in the back corner together and had decorated with black balloons and streamers. Crowley eyed the group. He saw Hastur, Bea’s older brother and his boyfriend Liggs. He waved at the couple and they waved back, Hastur giving him the finger. He saw a couple of people he didn’t know, an intense looking woman dressed like a Victorian witch complete with oversized glasses and a guy glued to her side, handsome but with a shy smile. Bea’s friend Eric was there, wearing a ton of eye liner and smiling happily. Their girlfriend Dana rushed forward and scooped Bea up in a huge hug.
“Happy Birthday Bitch!”
Bea smiled as they struggled, their feet dangling. “Put me down!” they laughed.
“Oh, are hugs on the table? I thought they were off limits?”
“Az, you came!” Dana set Bea down on her feet and smiled. “Told you he’d come.”
“Of course I came, it’s Bea’s birthday. I made cake!”
Crowley turned to look at the newcomer and almost choked. The man was beautiful. He was tallish with broad shoulders and thick arms, his hair was a curly white blond, his eyes were a stormy blue and sparkling. He was carrying a domed cake carrier and set it down on the pub table, whipping off the lid with a flourish to show a cake iced black with a beautifully detailed sugar skull on top. He turned back to Bea. “Hug?”
“Ugh, fine, but ONLY because you brought me cake.”
The blond did a little wiggle and his face broke into a blinding smile. He leaned down and hugged Bea briefly but tightly.
“Alright, alright, enough of that.” Bea broke away, a little blush on their cheeks. “Ok, listen up, this is my cousin Crowley. He’s kind of a dick but you know, family and all that shit. Crowley, this is everyone.”
Dana snorted. “Great introduction babe. Crowley, you know most of us but that’s Newt and Ana over there, they’re terrible, trust me, and then this here’s Az.”
Crowley waved to the couple at the table then turned his full attention onto Az.
“Az? A pleasure to meet you.”
The blond blushed a little. “Likewise, I’m sure. They call me Az because my actual name is a bit of a mouthful.”
“I don’t mind a mouthful.” Crowley grinned.
Az blushed dangerously dark under Crowley’s gaze. “A-Aziraphale. Aziraphale is my name.”
“Oh leave poor Blondie alone and let’s get some drinks.” Bea gave Crowley a shove towards the bar.
Crowley kept grinning as he sauntered away.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re hitting on Blondie. You can’t hit on Blondie.” Bea chewed a nail as they waited for Tracey behind the bar to notice them.
“Why not?” Crowley glanced back and saw Aziraphale take off his coat and lay it on the back of his chair before sitting down and saying something he couldn’t hear to the girl, Ana.
“Cause he’s a baby for one.”
“Looks all grown up from here.”
“Ugh, disgusting.”
“What’ll it be loves?” Tracey smiled at Bea and gave Crowley a once over. “Your friends have a tab set up for you dearie, no money out of your pocket tonight, little birthday treat.”
Bea grinned. “Oooh I’ll have to take advantage of that. I’ll just have my usual.”
“And you Red?”
“I’ll take a highball. What’s the angel over there like to drink?” He cocked his head towards Aziraphale.
“Anything pretty. He’s quite taken with Moscow Mules right now.” Tracey fixed the other drinks expertly and reached for a copper mug. “Here you are loves, I’ve started a tab for you too Red.”
“Thanks.” They took the drinks and headed back to the group.
“Seriously though, Blondie is the sweetest person, not the type to just pull at a pub.”
“If he’s so nice what’s he doing with you lot?”
“Good fucking question that is. Look, dickface, he’s only just turned 22. Baby.”
“Noted.”
They reached the group and Bea slid into the empty chair beside Dana who threw her arm over their shoulder. Crowley was thrilled to see the only other empty chair was beside Aziraphale.
“Bartender told me that this was what you liked to drink.” He slid the cup over to him.
“Oh, goodness! You didn’t have to do that, I can pay-“He reached for his wallet.
“No, no, my treat.”
“Thank you,” Aziraphale smiled softly, looking down.
Oh, so he was shy. Crowley could work with shy. “So, how do you all know my dear baby cousin Bea?”
“Fuck off,” Bea grumbled.
Dana laughed. “Our Angel here has helped us all get through Uni I think. I never would have passed my ethics class without his help.”
“Not surprising there, you have no morals” Hastur joked.
Dana stuck her finger in the air at him. “Piss off. ANYWAY, as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted, Az here has helped me and Bea pass some classes and is just like, I don’t know, the cutest puppy that you just want to hang around with.”
Aziraphale blushed furiously, “I’m not a puppy Dana! Really.”
“Nah, Aziraphale is like a full-grown golden retriever,” Ana chimed in. “I’ve known him since we were 16, and he and Newt knew each other since before that.” She turned her eyes to Crowley. “What’s your deal anyway?”
Crowley raised an eyebrow. “ ‘My deal’? I’m Bea’s cousin. We,” he waved his hand between himself, Bea and Hastur, “grew up together.”
“Crow was always at our place when we were kids. I mean, it was shit, but it was a bit less shit than his house.”
Crowley raised his glass. “You’ve got that right.” After taking a sip he continued. “I have a little business, I buy and sell interesting antiques, curious items, I don’t know. I got lucky on a few pieces, made some money. I have a good eye for quality.” He gave Aziraphale a not so subtle once over.
Ana pursed her lips “How old are you anyway?”
“Twenty eight. How old are you?”
“Twenty two, same as Aziraphale.”
“We should have cake!” Aziraphale piped up. “Yes, we should have some cake. I’ll go see if Madam Tracey will let us borrow a knife and some plates. Be back in a tick.”
“I’ll help Az,” Eric said, following him up to the bar.
Ana crossed her arms over her chest as she watched the two head towards the bar. “I know what you’re doing.”
“I should think I’ve made it pretty obvious.”
Crowley inspected his fingernails.
“Wow, that was uncomfortable.” Eric muttered. Tracey had gone into the back to rustle up the supplies they needed as long as they brought the knife back right away (along with a slice of cake).
“Ana isn’t usually that…hostile to new people.”
“She’s just looking out for you, that’s all.”
Aziraphale frowned. “Why?”
“I don’t know why. Probably because she thinks you need it or something. Older guy flirting with you and all. You’re lucky, I’ve had a crush on Crowley for years!”
“Oh, goodness, he’s not, he’s not flirting with me Eric, he’s just being kind.”
“He’s 100% into you Az. He’s got good taste!” Eric elbowed him in his ribs. “Seriously though, just tell him to fuck off if you’re uncomfortable. Crowley is a bit of a flash arsehole but he’s not a monster.”
“Here you are boys. Bring this knife back straight away, can’t leave this lying around with people drinking too much.”
“I will Madam, thank you so much.” Aziraphale smiled brightly and gathered up the plates and forks while Eric took the knife.
“Oh, as if I could say no to that face. Off with you.” She shooed them back to their group.
“I’m just saying,” Ana continued, “that Aziraphale is…innocent.”
“Oh my god Ana, are you talking about me and my…sex life while I was gone?” Aziraphale cried, setting his things down on the table.
Ana had the grace to look embarrassed. “No! I was just saying, to anyone that might want to you know, just fool around with you, that’s not something that you’d be interested in.”
Aziraphale took the knife from Eric. “First of all, my sex life is no one’s business. Second, how would you have any idea what I’d be interested in? It’s nothing that I’ve ever discussed with you. Just because I keep things private doesn’t mean they’re nonexistent.” He was cutting the cake quickly and sliding pieces onto plates. “Thirdly,” he looked Ana in the eye. “I’d be willing to wager I’m a lot less innocent than people think I am.” He put a piece of cake in front of Bea, then picked up another plate and whirled around to head back to the bar.
Everyone at the table just stared after him before Liggs cleared his throat. “Look, Aziraphale’s an adult and he can handle himself and it’s not right talking behind people’s backs.” He nodded as Aziraphale took his seat again, back straight. “Tonight is Bea’s birthday, if we should be taking the piss out of anyone, it’s them.”
“Here here!” Dana yelled, raising her glass.
It was awkward for a bit after that but eventually people began talking and drinking again. Ana, pushed by Newt, pulled Aziraphale aside and apologized. Newt showed Crowley his special talent for disrupting electronics but nearly blowing up the juke box. Hastur and Liggs snuck off to the bathroom and came back with their clothing half unbuttoned and were yelled at by everyone else. Eric and Aziraphale somehow made a crown out of various bits and bobs they found around the pub (mostly napkins) and presented Bea with it, Dana crowning them.
It was getting late and Crowley was feeling warm and happy. He had toned down his flirting with Aziraphale, he didn’t want to seem like a creep but he was determined to at the very least get his number. While Ana had been intense at the start of the night, now that things were winding down Crowley was seeing why Bea had her in their friend group. She was just the right kind of weird to always be interesting. Newt had been mostly quiet, but Crowley liked him, he seemed a good match of earnest good cheer to Ana’s intensity.
Newt was showing him his brick of a phone (anything newer just wouldn’t work for him). “You should take a look at Aziraphale’s flat sometime. It’s in this super old building his great uncle bought decades ago, and it’s just filled with boxes and boxes of stuff. Bound to be something worth some money in there.”
Crowley looked to the other end of the table where a wobbly Eric was somehow expertly putting gold eye liner on Aziraphale’s eyes. “He lives in a jumble shop?”
“It’s a flat in an ancient building in Soho. When he died he left the flat and everything in it to Aziraphale. He hasn’t parted with much of it, bit of a hoarder in him, especially with books.”
“Left him a bloody flat in Soho?”
“Well, it’s a small flat.”
“Wow. Must have liked him.”
“Nah, he didn’t like anyone, least of all his relatives. His family hated him too though, so it all worked out. He was gay; and anyone who spends more than a minute with Aziraphale can see that he is too, so I guess he figured he’d need the place to stay when his family kicked him out.”
Crowley looked over at the brightly smiling figure, taking selfies with Eric and laughing. He couldn’t imagine anyone ever hurting him. “Shit.”
“Yeah. They’re terrible. Az is strong though. He doesn’t look it but he is. He’s good too. So, if you were serous about liking him, be a shame to just you know, mess him about and leave.”
Crowley brooded for a moment. He hadn’t had a relationship since a brief one in uni that had ended in a disaster. He had tried the friends with benefits thing but someone usually caught feelings and it was never him. One night stands, when he could be bothered, were his usual go to but he had never been drawn to another person, quite like he had been to Aziraphale. “I wouldn’t mess about with one of Bea’s friends.” He finally answered. "They'd gut me.”
New laughed “Probably. They’re rough but great. Scared the shit out of me for a long time, still does if I’m honest but I’m honored I’ve been accepted into this weird little group. Maybe you should join it too.”
Crowley flushed. He got together with Hastur and Bea a decent amount of time, but it was usually just the three of them, sometimes Liggs or Dana might come along. Tonight had been nice though, meeting these new people, seeing how they all fit together. He caught sight of Aziraphale heading for the doors and slipped behind him. “Not leaving before saying goodbye are you?”
If Aziraphale had been wearing pearls he would have been clutching them. “Goodness! You scared me half to death Crowley.” He pushed open the door and held it for Crowley.
The cold air felt good on his flushed face. He watched as Aziraphale breathed deep and sighed, leaning against the outside wall. “Just needed a breath of fresh air, it gets so stuffy in there and I’m about at my limit for drinking tonight I think.”
“Newton was telling me that you live in a junk shop.”
Aziraphale snorted adorably. “Something like that. It’s awful if I’m honest, I don’t know where to begin. I’ve managed to sell a couple of obvious things that I could pull off the top, help pay for repairs to the flat and food and the like. I haven’t found work yet.” He looked over at Crowley, who was closer than he thought. “Haven’t decided if I’ll go for my masters yet.”
“I understand that. What would you do, in a perfect world?”
“Hmmmm. In an absolutely perfect world? I’d be a kept man of leisure and read books and drink tea to my heart’s content.”
Crowley grinned. “I can see that, all bundled up in an old quilt with an old book.”
“You must think me frightfully boring.” Aziraphale pouted.
“Nah. If you were a kept man, you’d have to do something to earn your keep. Put some of those not so innocent skills to good use, perhaps?” Crowley leaned over Aziraphale a little.
“Goodness, you’re tall,” Aziraphale breathed, looking up through half closed eyes.
“How drunk are you Aziraphale?” Crowley leaned down further.
“Not drunk enough to regret anything I do tonight.”
Crowley closed the gap between them with a gentle kiss, cupping Aziraphale’s smooth jaw.
Aziraphale whimpered and pushed into the touch, deepening the kiss.
Crowley growled into his mouth and pushed him up against the wall, kissing him harder, more intently. When they broke the kiss for air, he moved his mouth down to Aziraphale’s neck, breathing deep and sucking a mark into the bright skin.
“Mmmm Crowley,” Aziraphale gasped. “Oh my god, I never do this.”
Crowley moved back a little. “What me to stop Angel?”
Aziraphale made a delighted sound at the nickname. “No. Yes. I want you to stop kissing me in the middle of the street and take me home and kiss me some more there.”
Crowley barked out a laugh. “I’ll do whatever you want.” He kissed him again, softer this time. “Maybe I can take you out for a proper meal tomorrow?”
Aziraphale practically glowed in the dark night. “You mean it?”
“Yeah, I mean, I want to get to know you, I like you; liked you since I saw you walked in. Almost made me choke on my tongue, you were so beautiful. Liked to get to know you more. Really, really want to get you home and spread out in my bed.
“Yes, yes.” Aziraphale’s head hit the wall.
“Come on sweetheart, let’s get your coat and get you home and tucked in bed.” He tucked an arm possessively around Aziraphale’s waist as he led him back into the pub. The stopped off at the bar so Crowley could pay his tab, Tracey giving them a knowing smile. They reached the table and everyone turned. Aziraphale picked up his coat and put it over his arm.
“We were wondering where you two got to.” Ana said, arms crossing.
“Yes, well, we both needed a breath of fresh air.” Aziraphale said brightly.
“And a bite to eat?” Dana asked, pointing to the mark on Aziraphale’s neck.
“Yeah, that too. Look, it’s been nice getting to know you lot, and seeing the rest of you. Happy birthday and all that Bea but Aziraphale and I are going to head out.” He tightened his hold on Aziraphale’s hip and Aziraphale leaned into him. Crowley pulled out his phone with his free hand and ordered a car.
“Az, is that ok? Is that what you want?” Ana asked, concerned.
“Oh for goodness sake Ana, yes, I’d like to be fucked into the mattress by this gorgeous man tonight. Can you not treat me like I’m a small child, for once, please?” He huffed and took in her wide eyes. “I love you, but you can be a bit too much sometimes,” he held up his hand as she tried to speak. “I know it comes from a place of love, but really Ana, I’m not made of glass.”
“Hope not, planning on wrecking you, not shattering you.”
“Ugh, gross. Get out of here!” Bea complained.
“Fine, fine, grownup. Don’t come to me when he doesn’t call you the next day.”
Crowley let go of Aziraphale and leaned over the table. “Look, witchy woman, we just met tonight and yeah, I’m a bit of a dick sometimes, but I’m not that much of an arsehole. I know a good thing when I see it, and this,” he motioned to Aziraphale, “is a bloody great wonderful thing that I have no intention of messing about, alright?”
Ana stared at him for a few seconds then nodded.
“Good. Ready Angel?”
“Yes darling.”
“Ooo, I could get used to that.” He slipped his arm back around Aziraphale and started leading him to the door.
“Use protection!” Dana shouted after them.
Aziraphale hid his face in Crowley’s side.
“Ciao,” Crowley wiggled his fingers in the air.
The ride back to Crowley’s flat was difficult to say the least. Crowley wanted to devour Aziraphale one inch at a time. When they were finally behind closed doors he started back on his neck again, adding another mark.
Aziraphale gasped and bucked his hips up towards Crowley.
“Fuck Angel, will you let me have you?”
“Yes, please, yes.”
Crowley crashed his mouth against Aziraphale’s and pushed him up against the closed door, sliding his thigh between Aziraphale’s legs, feeling his erection push against him.
“Come on sweetheart, to bed.” He pulled him along until they were in his room. After a scramble of opening buttons and unzipped zippers and a brief hopping from one foot to another while Crowley tried to strip his jeans off, they were naked writhing on the bed together.
“You’re so big,” Aziraphale groaned, running his hand up the hot hard flesh of Crowley’s leaking cock.
“Fuck, Angel, want you so bad.”
Aziraphale pushed Crowley onto his back and kissed his way down his chest until he was breathing deeply on the purple head of Crowley’s cock. “Very big.” He took him into his mouth and sucked.
“Oh shit!” Crowley closed his eyes and tried not to buck up into the wet heat of that sweet mouth. He let him suck and lick for another minute then pulled him up. “I love that, will want that, but right now, I have to get my hands on you, please.”
“Oh yes, please do.” Aziraphale licked his lips then flopped back down on the pillows, wiggling into the soft bed.
“Adorable. Hot and adorable. How did I get so lucky?”
“I’m not hot, you’re hot.”
“Aziraphale, I’m harder than I’ve ever been in my life, you’re hot. Not turn over.”
Aziraphale shivered and quickly turned.
Crowley kissed down his back, nipping and sucking. He bit his left arse cheek, hard enough to leave a mark and make Aziraphale moan. “I’m going to have so much fun with you Angel.” Without warning he grasped his arse, spread him wide and licked into him.
Aziraphale jumped. “Crowley! What are you doing?”
Crowley pulled back. “What, Mr. Not So Innocent never been eaten out before?” He went back to Aziraphale’s clenched hole and licked over it again, letting his saliva drip down.
“Ohgodohgodohgod,”
Crowley managed to get the tip of his tongue past the tight ring of muscles and Aziraphale made a choking sound. Reaching for the bottle of lube close by he replaced his tongue with a slick finger. “Fuck, you’re so tight Angel, you’re going to feel amazing.”
Aziraphale just moaned and pushed back until Crowley’s finger was swallowed to the first knuckle.
Crowley took his time opening Aziraphale up and whispered filthy words of praise with his hot breath in Aziraphale’s ear the whole time. He was careful to only occasionally brush his prostate, he didn’t want this to be over too soon.
Once he had three fingers in Aziraphale moaned “Please oh please Crowley. I need you.”
Crowley answered him with his own moan, pulling his fingers out and grabbing a condom. He slicked himself and lined his cock up. Slowly he pushed forward until he felt himself pop past the ring of muscle and he stopped.
Aziraphale moaned and started to push back.
“Impatient thing, aren’t you?” Crowley growled, hiking his hips up higher as he pushed and pulled until he was finally, finally flush. They both breathed deep, eyes closed.
“So big, you feel so big inside me.”
“Angel, you’re so tight, I can’t describe it.” Crowley kissed his right shoulder blade. “What do you want sweetheart. Do you want me to go slow?”
Aziraphale looked behind him, cheeks flushed, curls matted to his forehead. “I believe I told Ana at the pub that I wanted to be fucked into the mattress by you.”
Crowley gaped at him for a moment then began to move. He built up speed and power, closing his eyes and listening to Aziraphale gasp and cry out. He opened them and looked down, watching himself disappear into Aziraphale’s tight arse again, and again.
Aziraphale’s arms gave out and he fell to be bed, arse in the air. “So good, fuck Crowley!”
“I’m trying Angel,” Crowley ground out. He was getting close. “Are you close sweetheart, fuck I want to feel you come on my cock. Can you come on just my cock do you think? I think you can.”
“Oh god, I don’t think, I’ve never, oh fuck.”
Crowley moved Aziraphale a little and then the angel was nearly shrieking with every thrust. “Come on Angel, I want you to come on my cock,” The words were hardly out of his mouth before he felt Aziraphale wildly clenching around him. He was coming untouched, screaming Crowley’s name into the pillows. Crowley’s own orgasm felt like it was ripped out of him. He thrust as deep as he could and it felt like he would never stop coming. He cried out Aziraphale’s name before they collapsed in a sweaty heap together on the soiled sheets.
Eventually Crowley weakly climbed off of Aziraphale and pulled out, tying off the condom and throwing it off the side of the bed. He blindly reached for his discarded shirt and wiped up the two of them as best he could. “I’ll do a better job when I can feel my legs.” He mumbled, pulling a still gasping Aziraphale into his arms.
“I’ll worry about it when I can feel my body.”
Crowley barked out a laugh and squeezed him tight. “That was bloody amazing angel.” He kissed his sweaty curls. “You’ll stay, won’t you?”
“If you’ll have me.”
“If I’ll have you? If I’ll have you? Bloody hell, I’ve never come that hard in my life! You’re sexy and adorable and I just know that you’re smart as hell. Try to keep me away.”
“Oh good, I’m quite taken with you.” Aziraphale snuggled in closer.
Crowley pulled the heavy duvet up over them both and tucked his angel in carefully. “Quite taken, how old are you again?”
“Twenty two, now be quiet, I’m sleepy.”
“Oh, we wouldn’t want you to be sleepy. I’ll take you out for breakfast tomorrow, our first real date. Anywhere you want to go.”
Aziraphale’s eyes popped open and glittered. “What do you say to some crepes?”