Work Text:
November 6, 2018
A knock on the door drew Martin's attention away from his writing and he looked up to see Jon shuffle awkwardly into the room. "Hello Martin, you're not busy are you?"
Martin smiled and shuffled some half-finished poetry out of view. "Nope, what's up?"
"Well, there's something I think we need to talk about," Jon said stiffly. He didn't quite meet Martin's eyes as he wrung his hands nervously and Martin shifted to fully face his boyfriend. Putting on an open expression that managed to coax Jon into continuing his train of thought. "It's about us, and I think it's important that we discuss it now."
"Is something wrong?"
"Oh no," Jon hurried to clarify, "Don't worry it's nothing bad. At least, I hope you won't think it's bad. I just figured it was better for this to come up now, rather than later."
Martin wracked his brain, trying to guess at what Jon could be wanting to talk about but came up empty. He gestured to an empty chair in the room and gave Jon a reassuring smile. "Alright then, have a seat and let's hear it. I've never heard you so chatty about feelings before."
Jon sat with painfully awkward motions as he gave a strained chuckle. "Yeah, I'm not quite used to the concept yet. Being open about my emotions that is, not the act of having emotions. So forgive me if I'm a bit anxious."
"Well, what did you want to talk about?"
"So I've been thinking," Jon began slowly, gathering his thoughts as he spoke, "Because before, there was never really a good time to bring this up and it really didn't seem relevant anyway. But now that we're not... umm."
He tugged at the sleeve above his scarred hand and Martin nodded, "Trying desperately not to die?"
Jon gave an amused hum, "Yes, that. Now that we're not constantly on the brink of death. I figured you might start to have questions about it. So I wanted to tell you that I'm actually, asexual."
Martin's eyes widened ever slightly as his only show of surprise. Otherwise maintaining a perfectly neutral expression. "Oh."
"That is, I've never had any interest in sex," Jon explained, barreling right past Martin's reaction, or rather lack thereof. "But considering most people in relationships do start to consider that after a certain point I thought that I should let you know. Admittedly I don't know what milestone 'surviving an apocalypse together' counts as in terms of intimacy but still. It might have been something you were wondering about. Now that we actually have a house. With a bed. And stuff."
"And stuff," Martin deadpanned. "Wow, I've truly never seen you so out of your element." He wrinkled his nose slightly with a half-amused expression. "I'm also somehow not surprised that you're so clinical, even when talking about sex."
Jon shrugged tensely, "I can't help it I guess."
Martin let out a puff of air, "You know honestly, it's crossed my mind once or twice but ultimately it's not that important to me anyway. I know that you love me in other ways and I can do the same for you." He gave Jon a smile, hoping to defuse some of the tension, "Honestly I'm just glad it was asexuality and not monster trauma."
Jon actually laughed at that, caught off guard as he was by the statement. "Monster trauma?" He questioned.
"Yeah," Martin explained, "You know when you were having that whole 'woe is me, am I beyond redemption?' crisis. I was worried it had made you maybe, I dunno, hate your body or something? And that was why you never seemed to be very interested in physical intimacy." He blushed slightly and shot Jon a look that dared him to make fun, "I was worried something had broken in you. Or maybe that I had done something wrong. So I'm glad to hear that you're fine and that this is normal for you."
He hadn't needed to worry about Jon's teasing however. Because Jon was staring back at him with a look of complete disbelief. "Normal," he said, so softly that Martin nearly missed it. Jon shook his head, snapping himself out of his shock. "So, you're okay with this then?" he asked. "You're fine with us not having sex? Ever?"
The love on Martin's face was impossible to misread as his eyes filled with adoration. "Jon," he said softly, "Of course I'm okay with this. I told you, I love you enough to deal with it." He chuckled, "What, did you think that after everything I was going to break up with you over this?"
Jon looked away and didn't respond.
"Wait, seriously?"
"Maybe."
Martin's expression grew serious as he quietly asked, "Have people broken up with you because of this before?"
Jon gritted his teeth, "I did have relationships before the archives, you know." There was a long pause before he spoke again, "But yes. It has been known to happen."
"Fuck that."
Jon's head snapped up in alarm, "Martin! Language!"
Martin huffed, "Sorry, but I needed that to actually register with you. I promise you that I do not care about this in the slightest. I don't find it to be a problem and I assure you that you being asexual is something I can live with. Because you are enough." He got up out of his chair and crossed the room to close the distance between himself and Jon. "Do you hear me?" he asked, cupping Jon's face in his hands, "I love you. And I know that you love me. I don't need sex to prove that."
Jon reached up in turn to wrap his hands around Martin's wrists. "You mean that?"
"Of course I do," Martin said, leaning down to touch foreheads with Jon. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," Jon said, squeezing his eyes shut for just a moment to revel in the moment. "Thank you."
Martin responded with a gentle kiss which Jon gladly accepted. "Was that everything you wanted to talk about?" Martin asked when they broke apart.
"Yes."
"If you're not busy," Martin mused, "I could make us some tea and then we could go cuddle on the couch and watch cheesy movies for a while. I'll even let you pick the movie."
Jon laughed and stood, letting his and Martin's hands drop until they were clasped between the two of them. "Sure Martin, and you can pick the movie. Anything but horror movies and you've got a deal."
Martin grinned and planted another quick kiss on Jon's cheek, "Deal."