Work Text:
(Quackity walks down the path to Foolish’s temple. Foolish approaches him from behind.)
Foolish: Hey hey hey, Quackity, hello hello! Didn't mean to keep you waiting! My bad.
Quackity: (chuckling) You scared me.
F: Oh! Sorry, sorry.
Q: No worries, no worries.
F: Here, have a steak.
Q: (stammering) I- it's on me, (laughs) it's on me. I-, I- I kinda came here unannounced so don't worry about it.
F: Alright then, it's ok.
(Quackity and Foolish walk towards the Temple of the Undying. On the entrance’s staircase Quackity always stays one step ahead of Foolish.)
Q: Hey, how [are] you doing man? It's been a bit.
F: I'm doing dandy. Do you look at me?(sic) Do you see this? Do you see this?
Q: Yeah, yeah. You look way better, you look way better nowadays.
F: I'm doing swell.
Q: Dude, that's great, that's great.
F: Thank you, thank you.
Q: Hey dude, I- listen I just wanted to come here and talk to you for a bit, you know? Talk to you about some things...
F: Oooh, yeah sometimes- it's nice having some visitors sometimes.
Q: Yeah. How have you been holding up?
F: Um, I'm, you know, good- really can't complain. Nothing to really complain about, no.
Q: Yeah? [Are] you alright from that whole... Banquet thing?
F: (strangled) Mmh, mmh, yep, no- yeah yeah, you know...
Q: Mmh.
F: -just... the food was garbage anyway, that banquet sucked!
Q: (laughs)
F: (muttering) Yeah, I just don't... yeah, yeah...
Q: Oh hey man, it's great to see you're doing well, you're holding up well and all. Um.
F: Eh.
Q: Hey, I'm going to cut to the chase, alright?
F: Ok.
Q: Uh, I- I kind of wanted to, you know, check up on you and and kinda ask you, uh, how are things looking with you and- you know, a lot of countries are popping up and stuff...
F: Oh yeah, people are moving!
Q: Yeah- no, they are! How- how are you doing in that regard?
F: Oh, um, well I guess I'm still part of Snowchester you know? I got a little house there, sometimes I go, go and visit. Ummm, Kinoko Kingdom... I wouldn't say I'm part of- Do you know Kinoko Kingdom?
Q: Yeah, I do.
F: Oh, okay, yeah yeah, I kind of helped build that up-
Q: Really?
F: I wouldn't really say I'm like a part of it. I was kind of there just to [do] contract work, you know? And then I kind of- then I was out, you know? Simple, easy peasy, just a little job, you know.
Q: So... formally, officially, are you just...?
F: (rambling) Um, I would- yeah, I kinda just- very loosely, I would say, if anything-
Q: Okay.
F: -but most of the time just chilling here.
Q: Got it. No, yeah- that makes sense. Hey, I wanted to ask you something.
F: Oh? Okay.
Q: Um, listen. I've been working on a country, and you probably might have heard of it. It's called Las Nevadas.
F: Oh! I've heard some rumors...
Q: Ok, alright.
F: Some rumors…
Q: Well, it's my country. Uh, I've been building it up and I've been working on it... and... yeah, just, a lot of things have been done to it, and [what] I wanted to ask you is: would you like to join Las Nevadas?
F: Oh!
Q: You're the first person I thought of when I thought of, you know, people to recruit.
F: Oh.
Q: It's going to be a big thing, it's going to be a big country.
F: Really?
Q: And I think you fit just right in with- with the core of it. In(sic) the core of the country and what it means, I think you would fit right in.
F: I mean- I'm honored, you know? Especially- man! I was the first one? Uh, like, that's cool, and I'm really happy for your country and stuff, but I just- I don't know- I- I mean- I'll just cut to the chase as well, I- no. Probably, probably not, no. I'm kind of happy here.
(pause)
F: (rambling) But you know, I'm happy for you, y'know? It sounds like you said, it sounds like it's gonna be a big thing and big things get busy...
Q: Why not?
F: ... and that's just- what?
Q: Why not? Why, why wouldn't you want to join. Just to, you know, get to understand you.
F: Well it's just, I'm happy here, you know? Just- I'm just enjoying, like, the simple life, you know? Like, I've heard, you know, casinos will be popping up, and like, big things, and that just sounds like a lot, you know I mean like, that gets the mind really busy. But here, you know- it's just- I'm free to just think. Slowly, you know?
Q: But that's you.
F: Huh?
Q: That's exactly what you are: you're a busy guy, you like the chaos.
F: Exactly? Oh.
Q: You know, I mean, Las Nevadas is chaotic. You know, the grounds on which it stands on(sic)... it's- it's- I mean, it's inherently chaotic by nature, but I think you're the same way. I think you're the exact same way.
F: Oh, no, actually I've been- I don't think you've been listening to what I've just said. I was just saying I'm very happy [with a] chill, slow pace... Nah, yeah. Nah, I'm good. I'm cool.
Q: (condescending) Foolish, no.
F: Yeah? No? What?
Q: I know, I know who you are. If that makes a little more sense, I've done my research, Foolish, I have my connections.
F: You...
Q: I know what type of person you are. If- if you get what I mean.
F: How... How far back are you talking?
Q: Far back.
F: Listen, okay? Just listen. Okay. I don't know exactly what you know or if you're just bluffing or something, but I am very, very happy here okay? This- this is peaceful, okay? And that's what I've stuck to, okay? It's worked for the most part, but let me tell you, okay, it's- it's tough, okay?- you understand.
It's a- this life is a mess, okay, it's just a rollercoaster, and there's a period in time- which it sounds like that's what you're talking about- okay, and it's true I believed- okay?- I believed peace could be found through the sword, you know?
Fighting? That doesn't work, okay?
That just- that just leads to fear, power, hatred, resentment- all that, okay? It's a mess.
The only thing I did was accelerate war, okay? That doesn't work.
So I pushed back, I ran from it all and this is good! I'm in a much happier place. Getting time to think, I can build...
Q: This is a nice build, this is a nice build, Foolish. All your builds are insane, they really are. What would you say if I told you that I want to buy this place from you?
F: (chuckles, disbelieving) You want to buy it?
Q: Yeah, yeah, I want to buy this place from you. I think I can assign a value-
F: Wait, wait- like, actually?
Q: Yeah, I think I can assign a value to it and, uh, take it off your hands.
F: I highly doubt- I highly doubt you'd be able to buy this whole thing, okay. Let me- here, let's go- let's get the calculator out, okay? Uh, over 200 000 sand, 1 500 gold blocks, uh, like, a few hundred emerald blocks, uh, some netherite blocks, a couple hundred diamond blocks...
Q: I've assigned it, I've figured it out.
F: Oh, okay? And what have you come to?
Q: I think this whole place is worth... if we're being generous I think it's worth a diamond.
F: (incredulous) Did you-? Did you not just listen to a damn thing I just said? Did like-? I just- I just told you, like-
Q: I think- I think- I think this place here, Foolish, is worth a diamond. That's a value it has for me.
F: Wait, are you being serious?
Q: I'm being dead serious, Foolish. I think this place is worth a diamond and let me tell you why.
F: (annoyed) Yeah, I would love to hear this, Quackity.
(pause)
Q: You spend so many hours, so much work for- so much- so much of yourself to building(sic) this place.
But that's all it is: it's just a build.
No one comes here, no one- no one has a house here, no one stays here. People really just come to admire and then leave, Foolish.
This is an empty shell, all right? It looks beautiful from the outside, but on the inside it's decaying, it's gonna disappear in time, and no one is really going to remember it.
That's why it has the value of one diamond to me.
And you know what this build reminds me of, Foolish?
F: What would that be?
Q: It reminds me- It reminds me of you.
F: What?
Q: This build reminds me of you, Foolish.
You used to be big. You used to be great with everything you did, and now you are nothing but an empty shell. You are to be feared from the outside, but on the inside, everybody knows you are just a builder.
And I was hoping at some point that you would realize this, after I let you die at the Red Banquet.
F: What?- Wait, you let- you let me die? You let me fucking die?!
Q: Foolish, I was behind those walls, and I could have saved you, and I didn't. I watched you die.
F: You let me die!
Q: You want to know? I watched you die, Foolish.
F: For what, for what, Quackity?!
Q: I watched you die, and let me explain why I let you die.
(Foolish takes out his trident.)
Q: Yeah, take- take that out, take that out, Foolish. You're going to kill me now? What, are you going to kill me, you're going to throw it at me? You're going to take a life, you're going to take a life away from me?
F: (slowly, angrily) You better have a real good answer.
Q: You can do that, you can do that, Foolish. Guess what, no one's around, I have no armor on me... you can do that if you wish, but let me tell you something, Foolish.
I did it for you. I let you die because I wanted a better version of you.
F: You!-
Q: Unfortunately, that's not- that's not what happened. Because you know what? You are still the same person as the day that you died. So let me tell you something, Foolish.
The reason I let you die in the goddamn first place is so that you could finally realize that even being the builder that you are right now could cost you your life.
I was hoping that it would make you realize that this bullshit of living a peaceful life, making these incredible builds that no one will really use in the span of time- I hoped that would make you realize that you need to go back to the old ways, to how you used to be.
You used to be a feared warrior, anywhere you were. Anywhere you would stand, people would look at you and be scared. You were someone, Foolish.
You were someone, now? You're nobody.
F: (stammers)
Q: Now you're nobody. That's what you are.
You are a nobody, Foolish.
And the reason I came to you and told you to join my country is because it's going to be a big thing, and what do I need for a big country? Big people. Important people. People with skill, people who know how to do things.
So you know what, Foolish? That's what I came here for. I came here to recruit you and get you back to the old ways, to how you used to be.
I'm sick and tired-
F: (interrupts Quackity) You threw away my life for some kind of fucking sales pitch!
Q: (condescending) This is not a sales pitch, Foolish, and it's so unfortunate that you don't even understand this at this point. So you know what?
You know what? I'm gonna give you a choice, Foolish. I'm gonna give you a choice. I have no armor, I did you fucking dirty, okay?- so how about this: if you're not gonna join my country, if you're not gonna do anything about it- you're gonna keep wasting your life away building, and doing nothing about your self-growth- then go ahead. Kill me right now.
But if you think otherwise, if you think there's a chance that maybe somehow you can bring your old self back, and bring back all that power and fear that you once gave(sic) to everyone.
F: Power. Power. Damn you, Quackity. What- what makes you think you're any better, huh? How's that worked out for anyone else that's been here, huh? Dream? Wilbur? Schlatt? How'd that go, huh? What makes you any better, [any] different than them?
Q: Foolish, you realize that I can just go and recruit people? Guess what, I don't need a sales pitch because my country is fucking massive. Anyone I extend the offer to would probably, most very likely join, because I have a big thing behind me.
I don't need a sales pitch. The sales pitch itself is built on ground, and believe me, I don't need to work hard to convince anyone- but the reason I came to you, Foolish, okay?- The reason I didn't go to someone like Technoblade, or- or anyone who's still in the server, anyone who still has power-
The reason I came to you, Foolish, is because I see myself in you. I once also believed that peace was a way to- was a way to live. I used to want the betterment of people. That was that was my life['s] morals, Foolish. And guess where that brought me.
That brought me nothing but suffering.
That brought me nothing but a death.
That's the reality of it, Foolish.
And that's the reality of all of us.
I was once like you, and that's the reason I let you die, and that's the reason I came to you. It's because you have so much potential.
Whether you want to realize that now, or later, that is your choice. But I've extended my offer to you, I've extended the invitation. I've left the coordinates- I've left the coordinates for you. Okay? You're welcome to join my country, if you'd like.
And it would be great because maybe then you can finally realize your worth, and you can finally realize what you're capable of.
Don't waste your life away doing this, Foolish. It's wonderful, what you do here is wonderful, but don't waste your life away doing that. [Do] you understand me?
I'm gonna go now, but you know where to find me.
(Quackity leaves.)