Chapter Text
“You know what I think about bonded sex?” Palermo said one evening after a delicious meal he had cooked for the crew, while tilting his wine glass slightly towards Tokyo. The food must be spectacular enough to put everyone in a tolerating mood, ready to be scandalised by whatever obnoxious theory the omega never seemed to run out of.
“I think,” his left hand dramatically glided through air for emphasis, dangerously missing Bogotá’s beer bottle, “I think bonded sex is shit and oppressive, because it is conditioned only by procreation.”
Tokyo rolled her eyes so loud it made Denver start to honk.
“Afraid of a little alpha-omega action are we, querido?” Nairobi said from the other end of the table, a challenging tone in her voice.
“Now hear me out,” Palermo batted his eyelashes at her, playing coy, “What do you have when a male alpha meets a female omega. Patriarchy, that’s what you have on your hand. And the other way around? Female alpha plus male omega? Fucking matriarchy. What happens then? Boom, boom, you have a fucking baby, playing little happily-ever-after family. Great story. But let me tell you what’s at the rotten core of it all - power hierarchy all driven by this urge to spawn. Bunch of animals really.“
Denver‘s nervous donkey laugh died down after a stern look from Stockholm. There were a few seconds of digestive silence around the table. Nairobi opened her mouth ready to attack but Stockholm beat her to it in her usual gentle and reasonable voice.
“That’s not all bonded sex isn’t it? What about same sex alpha-omega couples? They can’t procreate.”
A shadow flew pass Palermo’s face. He cast a look towards where Berlin sat at the table, drinking wine and pretending not to be listening.
“Well, the bond is still conditioned the same, but that’s the cruel joke of nature isn’t it? When alpha and omega have sex, they just want to have babies, but now you have these fucking cripples, male omegas who can’t carry and female alphas who can’t ejaculate, like our lovely ladies sitting here -“ Palermo gave a two-finger salute to Nairobi and Tokyo, a self-deprecating smile hanging at the corner of his mouth. “That’s why we are never enough in a homosexual bond aren’t we? That’s why they have to cast us out, because we can never become what they’re looking for, fucking baby makers.”
Nairobi gulped down a mouthful of wine, trying to avoid Palermo’s eyes. It hit a bit too close to home. It's an old hurt. Nairobi wondered how Palermo got to know the same hurt.
She missed a worried glance from her fellow alpha, but not the sudden volcanic eruption that pierced through the strange tension that had seized the table. Full-on Tokyo style.
“This is total bullshit, Palermo you little bitch. Some daddy alpha threw you out and now you can’t get it up anymore can you?”
“Oh por favor, I’m not saying all sex is dysfunctional, look at Professor and Lisbon! Two betas perfectly content with their egalitarian, bland, beta-sex.”
“I’m surprised you know the word egalitarian.”
“I will not have you speculate on my sex life in public Palermo.”
Lisbon and the Professor spoke at the same time, drawing out a laugh from the pack that broke the tension like a mirror.
“And if you think beta-sex is bland you can think again,” said Lisbon, leaning forward with a chuckle and a wink.
“Oh boy do I know it!” Palermo blew a kiss towards Helsinki who started to blush profusely next to Nairobi.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying muchachos. Non-dynamic sex is the best sex ever, because there’s non of that power play shit. Sex with beta is easy, you fuck, you say ciao, no strings attached, free as a bird. Boom boom ciao.”
Denver shook his head. “Your theory is crazy, but it does have a nice ring to it, I’ll give you that amigo.”
The alpha got up from the table, chanting the silly mantra with a huge grin on his face and a possessive arm wrapped around his omega partner and the mother of his child, seemingly forgetting the fact that they were the only dynamic bond couple (present) within this little pack-family of outcasts and delinquents, led by a soft-spoken, bespectacled beta.