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A Royal Pain in the Ass

Summary:

     Soulmate, if you do exist, please reply. I can’t bear another day in eternal solitude.

The samurai simply gazed at it, not a clue as to what to do. He kept reading the very same phrases again and over, studying each stroke as if it were a covert scheme. Kazuha had just turned 21, and he had no idea his soulmate had been waiting for him.

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Kaedehara Kazuha, forced under oath, became the prince's personal samurai on the day he turned 21. As if being under the command of soon-to-be-king Prince Kunikuzushi wasn't horrible enough already, they're also, regrettably, soulmates. Oh, but they don't know that. Yet.

Royalty + Soulmate AU

Russian Translation by anon •Strangers teenagers•!!

Notes:

»━━━━━━༻ • ♕ • ༺━━━━━━«

❝Misc❞
RPiA Playlist (BGM Version)

❝Translations Available❞
(Russian) Королевская заноза в заднице
by anon •Strangers teenagers•

Thank you so much!

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(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Day 167, 284 and counting...

Chapter Text

Chapter I

Kaedehara Kazuha

Kaedehara Kazuha was born into a life of fame and fortune, yet his sole ambition is to break free of it. For years he thought he was the only one who felt this way, but soon he learns that there is a heart as solitary as his own.

The field outside of the Kaedehara estate is filled with samurais sparring one another. The sounds of clashing and groaning could be heard throughout the area. The warriors intensely focused on the battle as if it was their purpose of living. Yet, the young master of the clan had his eyes closed as he simply stood by the sidelines alongside his canine friend. 

With two of his hands softly supporting the delicate leaf on his lips, he gently blows on to it, unleashing a faint mellow tune among the loud disruptive noises.

Kaedehara Kazuha is as perfect as a person can be. Rather, he has to be.

Being the young liege of a renowned clan bearing his own name, the townsfolk can only imagine the pressure and responsibilities the nobleman has to uphold. Not only is he skilled in the art of swordsmanship, but also in the melody of literature and the poetry of music.

Whenever a rare occasion comes wherein Kazuha can present himself to the public, the common folk of Inazuma can only swoon at him in awe, gazing at his modesty and gentleness. There’s only two types of people whenever that time comes: Others wish they can be with him, and the rest can only dream of becoming like him. It is such a wonder as to how one surpasses all others. 

The Kaedehara clan is proud to have such a handsome young lad to be their heir. However, the samurai’s heart isn’t even to his own kin, but to the world beyond blades and combat. His own sense of utopia is just there, right outside the walls of his own home. So close, yet so far out of reach. He can only gaze at it, fate unraveled.

Kazuha let out a faint sigh as he finished his short musical performance. Just then, his canine friend started continuously clapping his hands, disturbing the tranquility of the estate. The descendant’s fellow samurais would glance at them with an eyebrow raised and stern eyes before proceeding with their stroll.

“So,” the general crossed his arms and smirked at the samurai. “It’s your 21st birthday today— you know what that means.”

Kazuha hummed silently and gave a gentle nod. “My clan is also thrilled for me. The contract they had with her majesty, the Raiden Shogun, since I was born is finally going to commence. It is strictly signed in ink that once I reach the age of 21, I’ll be the prince’s personal samurai.”

The canine’s large fluffy tail froze, and the shine in his teal eyes quickly faded away, replaced with a bewildered stare.

“What?” Gorou faltered. “Well, that’s one thing for sure but— I’m talking about something else.”

Kazuha slightly tilted his head and gazed at the general with a quizzical stare. “Well, what else is there to look forward to?” He asked. “Today is just a day among other days, is it not?”

“Not quite,” Gorou trailed off. “You really don’t have a clue?”

“Clue as to what?”

Gorou let out a heavy sigh at such a dense response. “Kaedehara Kazuha—” he softly shook his head. “Sure, you’re the heir to a well-known clan of samurais, but you can also be rather naïve at times.”

“Well, I did spend my whole life inside these tall and strict walls.” Kazuha shrugged. “I barely have a clue as to what happens outside.”

“Then I’ll teach you.” The general's tail then began to wag left and right, his turquoise eyes sparkling once again. “Once a person reaches the age of 21, whatever they write on their skin will also appear on their soulmate’s.” After noticing the puzzled look of the samurai, he decided to go on and said, “Let’s say you doodle a drawing on your hands; it will also appear on theirs.”

Kazuha blinked twice and faltered, “That’s real?”

“It is!” Gorou exclaimed. “Have you not heard of the rowdy commotion during Ms. Kamisato’s birthday last month? Everyone was hoping to see their words marked on her skin.” The general rolled his eyes upon recollecting the stressful memory, but the other could only come to a standstill.

“Oh,” Kazuha muttered out.

As the general returned to his thoughts, the samurai reflected on their discussion. Their conversation has obviously dwindled down, making way for the sounds of birds chirping from afar and leaves rustling in the brisk breeze of autumn. Kazuha glanced down to the maple-filled ground while having a hand to his chin, thinking about the phenomenon he had just heard.

He didn’t want to further annoy the canine general, but truth be told, Kazuha doesn’t understand it at all.

How could anything inscribed on his own skin appear on someone else's? Oh, and don’t even get him started about the interpretation of the word soulmate. Is there really such a person perfect for him, and everyone else?

Is it even worth pondering about this occurrence at all, or should he just let it be? After all, being chained to his own clan, what are the chances he’ll meet the person conversing with him through skin? Because of his lifetime contract with the shogun, his lack of freedom, if he actively embarks in the pursuit for destined love, it is bound to only end in tragedy.

Kazuha sighed heavily, already giving up on it before even trying.

“So… about the agreement you have with the Raiden Shogun,” Gorou fiddled with his fingers. “You’re going to be staying at the Tenshukaku, then?”

Kazuha gently nodded. “Strictly under the command of her creation, the prince,” he added. “I’m going to leave in a few hours after the sparring.”

“Prince Kunikuzushi?” Gorou crossed his arms and scoffed harshly. “Odd how he’s the heir to the crown, yet the public knows none of him; only his name.”

The samurai softly chuckled at his friend's reluctance. “I’m sure there’s a reason for that. Unlike the majority, I’m willing to see the potential in him.” He smiled.

“Suit yourself.” Gorou sighed and averted his sight with a pout, like a small lost puppy bidding goodbye to its owner. “And how long will this arrangement last, again?”

Kazuha responded with pride, “As long as her creation lives.”

However, Kazuha could hear a faint grunt escape his warrior friend's lips. His turquoise eyes dimmed, and the samurai gulped and could only take a long, deep breath, bracing himself for whatever the other might say.

“So, what? You’ll be under their command for a lifetime, and more?” The noble's heart was struck by Gorou’s remark, so he glanced aside and nodded slowly in answer. The general tightened his fists and glared at the ground. “That’s harsh,” he snarled. “Don’t you want to be free?”

“Of course I do.” Kazuha gently responded. “It is what I’ve always longed for.”

“Then why are you making them do this to you?” But the general's eyes were not filled with impatience or fury, but rather disappointment as he grasped the tragedy of his friend's life. “To honor such a deep-rooted contract, don’t you have at least an ounce of self-respect?”

Kazuha breathed a deep sigh. “It's a vow between my beloved clan and the archon herself,” the noble explained. “Believe me, I wish things were different, but I can't just reject her majesty's decree.”

“And why not?” Gorou asked. “Just because she’s the shogun?”

“Precisely,” Kazuha protested. “What other reason do you need? Disobeying her excellency is equivalent to failing as a loyal samurai, and you know what might happen when a samurai’s honor is lost, don’t you?”

Gorou's eyes darkened as he heard such a thought. As if simply thinking about it wasn't enough, the prospect of it happening sent goosebumps up his skin.

“Seppuku,” he said quietly, and the noble nodded slowly in agreement. The very notion of it made him want to hurl.

“Gorou, I’m doing this not for myself, but for the sake of my clan,” Kazuha sighed heavily. “They have been waiting for this moment since I was born. I just can’t let them down.”

“But it is unfair, don’t you think?” Gorou frowned. “You deserve at least a day without command from your clan nor the empress herself. You deserve freedom, like all others.”

Kazuha simply smiled faintly at the other. “I’ll be fine, Gorou,” he said. “I’m used to it at this point.”

Line

Kazuha could only look up in awe at its layers of majestic purples and gold, and truly, the Tenshukaku never fails to amaze the beholder. 

With its flawless architecture and carefully carved decorations, the majority could only imagine how regal the interior of the Tenshukaku must look. Kazuha was a part of that majority, that is until he entered the huge entrance of the grand tower, and the first thing he did upon stepping on the exalted manor was shudder at the eerie silence of the noiseless building.

Kazuha tried not to judge. Perhaps he was just not used to the peacefulness unlike the loud clashing of swords from his samurai-filled estate. Still, it was hard to brush off the lingering stillness. 

Inside the Tenshukaku, it felt as if time stopped, but not in an everlasting sense. More of a lonesome feeling, if anything.

“You must be the young master of the Kaedehara clan,” from the throne, a solemn voice said. “Kaedehara Kazuha, am I right?”

The silver-haired noble delicately made his way towards the throne and knelt to the ground ever so gently, his head bowed down to the empress of shadows.

With an alluring voice he spoke, “Indeed you are, your majesty.”

He could just make out an amused scoff from the shogun's lips. There was a brief pause. From beneath her throne, the Raiden Shogun judged him, as Kazuha knelt calmly awaiting further command.

“Polite manners and elegant gestures. You are as perfect as everyone says you are.” A slight smile curved on her lips. “So far it seems I have made the right decision to appoint you as his personal samurai. I hope you won’t disappoint.”

Kazuha managed to hold his miserable sigh at bay. Nonetheless, he was able to respond lightly, “I’m glad you are pleased, almighty shogun.”

“Well then, I won’t waste any more of our time.” The Raiden Shogun then abruptly stood up from her comfort and slowly began walking away to the quiet corridors. “Let me lead you to him.”

Before racing behind the queen, the samurai stood from the ground and dusted off any dust on his clothes. He then humbly followed her graceful steps into the shadowy corridors.

"Please accept my heartfelt apologies for keeping you waiting so long for my arrival, your highness." Kazuha cleared his throat, sheepishly attempting to strike up a conversation with the queen.

“That’s a silly thing to apologize for,” with a firm voice, remarked the shogun. She kept her stern gaze fixed on the path. “Personally I believe you arrived just in time. Starting this week, Kunikuzushi’s schedule will be busier than usual, and I need you to keep check on him.”

Kazuha slightly tilted his head. “If I may be so bold to ask, why is that, your majesty?”

The Raiden Shogun let out a harsh snort, which caused Kazuha to shudder, wondering whether he had spoken something improperly.

“The information you’re about to hear is confidential, as to not cause unwanted disorganization from the townsfolk.” Her majesty unexpectedly halted her steps, prompting Kazuha to come to a standstill. The samurai simply waited for her explanation as she stared intently at him with a harsh glare. “Keep my words strictly to your heart only. There will be designated time for when the public will finally learn of it.”

With nonchalant eyes, the samurai glanced at the shogun. He stiffened as he awaited her response. 

The empress took a deep breath and sighed deeply. “I've finally chosen to resign as the crowned ruler of Inazuma's throne,” she declared. “My search for eternity appears to be... everlasting as well. Perhaps there is more to life than its deadline.”

Kazuha could only gape at the startling discovery. For many years, the Raiden Shogun governed the nation. Never did he expect for the crown to be passed on.

He decided not to further inquire about it, for it will only add to the world’s endless archive of unanswered questions. The empress of forever will end her reign, already a revelation in and of itself.

Kazuha gulped. “And I can assist though…?”

The shogun's dull eyes shifted from the samurai. “For the next several days, you will be accompanying the young lord throughout his preparations.”

“Preparations?”

“For his coronation,” Raiden Shogun blatantly said. “After all these years, I think the time has arrived for my prototype to finally take his chance in sovereignty.” She sighed. “Please see to it that he behaves. He’s known to be quite… a handful.”

Kazuha reluctantly nodded. He could already feel the strain building up around him. He tried not to drown on it since he still had an honor to preserve.

“I will order Kujou Sara to deliver you a thorough schedule,” stated the queen. “As a summary, you will usher Kunikuzushi to a couple briefings: Tailoring, tasting, table etiquette, invitations, and the grand announcement.”

The empress walked elegantly closer to the nearest wooden door. Kazuha was close behind. She handed the samurai the door and looked at him hollowly.

“I'll leave you to him, then. Don't take your eyes off him,” she warned firmly. “I expect only the best from you, young master of the Kaedeharas.”

Kazuha humbly bowed down. “I won’t disappoint you, your majesty.”

Upon lifting himself up, he realized that the shogun had already started making her way back to the throne room. Kazuha was left alone in the silent hallways, and with nothing else to do, he gently held the door knob. The samurai let in a deep breath, bracing himself for his first encounter with the prince of Inazuma.

Prince Kunikuzushi— that’s all that he knows of his majesty, not even a hint of his appearance nor of his personality. He has no idea what awaited him behind the wooden door.

A heavy sigh was let out from his lips, and without further hesitation he abruptly twisted the knob and finally, the door creaked open.

Kazuha simply stood there, wide eyes and silent as he gazed at the indigo-haired man sitting at the edge of the exquisite bed. He could be seen holding an inked quill on his hand, his dull azure eyes staring at his own palm. Kazuha noticed how his raven hair, as well as his glittering purple eyes and pale skin, reminded him of the queen. Despite merely knowing the prince's name, Kauzha is certain that the stranger is unquestionably the successor to Inazuma's throne.

His majesty's starry eyes shifted away from his dainty palm and instead glared daggers at the samurai. Kazuha's heart began to race as a result of the unexpected eye contact. After all, he is alone with the prince.

“So, you’re my samurai?” With a flat tone, the prince inquired. “You spent years mastering the art of the blade, then?”

Stunned, Kazuha didn’t know what to say so he only slowly nodded in response.

"Well, I recommend you master this technique called knocking," Kunikuzushi sharply grumbled, "It would significantly help you not irritate me as much."

The prince then returned his attention to his own palm and began scribbling on it with ink. Meanwhile, Kazuha merely stood by the doorstep, quiet and simply observing. At first, the noble was baffled as to why his majesty was writing on his own skin. After all, the only sensible justification for doing so is— oh. He's writing to his soulmate.

“What’s your name?” His royal highness demanded. “Unless you want me to refer to you with an insult?”

Kazuha spurned to utter a response. The noble samurai simply refused to converse with such an irascible prince.

Kazuha stood steady in position, firmly silent, and merely gazing at the prince with unprejudiced crimson eyes. He merely gazed at him with a warm and flawless smile, standing perfectly motionless. It's how he was trained to act on his estate, to do everything precisely. His feeble attempt to respect his majesty's honor, on the other hand, elicited a roll of the eyes from the royal.

Prince Kunikuzushi let out a groan and snapped, “Can you stop that?”

“Stop what, your highness?” Finally, Kazuha spoke out. Despite his dislike for Prince Kunikuzushi’s demeanor, his answer was as polite as he should be.

“Being so perfect,” blatantly replied the prince, along with a  grumble. It forced the samurai to take a step back, startled.

Normally, the samurai's delicate manners would make one swoon. Nobody expected or desired him to be anything less than perfect, he has to be… except for the prince himself, apparently. Kazuha was stunned to learn that the prince himself despised it, believing that royalties, particularly the nation of eternity, have always desired perfection. 

However, looking at the bright side, his highness just admitted that Kazuha looked perfect. This caused the samurai to faintly chuckle.

“That seems more like a compliment than an insult,” Kazuha commented.

“Don’t let your pride cloud your judgement. Perfectionism is an insult— it’s toxic.” Prince Kunikuzushi suddenly averted his gaze, his eyes downcast and his brows wrinkled. “You don’t have to be perfect when you’re with me,” sternly muttered the prince. “I’d rather you act yourself.”

And that’s how, after having spent his whole life studying to be a samurai, Kazuha couldn’t bring himself to carry out his first command.

How else could anyone possibly blame him? As the heir of the renowned Kaedehara clan, all he was taught and all he knows is how to act flawlessly. It's how he was raised, and it's what he believed in. He never expected his majesty to command him to abandon all he had learnt over the years and act... freely.

Well, if that’s what the prince wants, then he has to honor it without excuse.

"If you're simply going to stand there, you might as well leave," Kunikuzushi mocked bitterly.

“Apologies, but I must humbly decline your order, your majesty.” Kazuha wasn’t reluctant to shake his head.

And that's how Kazuha didn't carry out his second command.

Thus, Prince Kunikuzushi casted a scathing glare at the samurai, who only responded with an unabashed smile. His majesty clutched the quill firmly in his hands, grunting in frustration.

“I said act naturally, not disobediently,” the prince snarled.

“But the shogun precisely told me not to keep my eyes off of you,” with a pleased smile on his lips, Kazuha simply stated.

“You’re under me, aren’t you?” Prince Kunikuzushi harshly scoffed. “Not the shogun, me.”

Both too stubborn for their own good, Kazuha didn’t know what else to do other than take a deep breath and softly muttered, “I just don’t want to trouble her royal highness…” He trailed off, as did his eyes as he diverted his sight from the prince's attention, away from the glare that is known of his lavender eyes.

Her royal highness,” Prince Kunikuzushi mockingly reiterated. He rolled his stern eyes and spat, “I'm royal too, you know.”

“Yeah.” Kazuha snickered. “A royal pain in the ass.”

Prince Kunikuzushi only gazed at him, his eyes cold, and Kazuha only sheepishly smiled back at him. No one in a hundred years had ventured to insult his majesty in such a way. After all, that was the prince's job, not anyone else's. However, it was also exactly because of this that his majesty was drawn to the samurai, albeit with slight animosity (totally with absolute animosity, but it’s not like Kunikuzushi cares enough to try). It’s just that— finally, he doesn't have to be so regal in front of someone.

Sure, having someone to finally behave normal in front of was satisfying, but the prince couldn't help but be pessimistic about the abrupt change in his lonely environment. He hadn't spoken to anybody in years, so he scribbled on his arms and waited for a response that might never come. His majesty simply didn't know how to deal with a companion other than himself.

Kunikuzushi shifted his gaze away, stunned. And, to be honest, he might become used to his newfound company, but it’s not like he’s going to admit that to the samurai anytime soon.

The prince crossed his arms and grumbled. “You’re lucky I’m not in the mood to raise my voice,” he snapped. “But can you at least just guard my door from outside? It’s not like I have anywhere else to go, anyway.”

Kazuha slightly tilted his head and mused why his royal highness is so insistent on being alone. Still, he chose not to pry.

“Very well, your highness,” Kazuha gently bowed down, and the prince let out a dramatic sigh of relief.

The samurai shifted his gaze to the door and gently pushed it open. He calmly exited the room without saying anything. 

He leaned against the door as he closed it behind him, reflecting on how he hadn't expected that to be the conclusion of his first meeting with the prince. He breathes out a heavy sigh, concerned about his performance— whether he had acted honorably as the samurai of the prince.

Kazuha pondered about how the elder masters of the Kaedehara clan would react if they had seen his first encounter with his majesty.  Just thinking about it made Kazuha want to fidget with his fingers, and he was about to do so when his eyes caught sight of ink on his hands.

     Day 167, 284 and counting...

Kazuha stared bewildered at the words he did not write. Keywords: he did. not. write.

He shivered, as only then did the samurai realize what was happening. Kaedehara Kazuha, the heir to a noble clan of samurai, had just turned 21 and not only did he meet the enigmatic prince today, but alas, someone is also talking to him through ink on their hands.

Although he is thankful that the stars provided him with someone to talk to in this world, but in this lifetime he doesn’t own? After all he, forcedly, had already pledged his entire life to the prince.

But, of course, he couldn't let anyone see this feeling, this… flaw, so he merely leaned against the door for support, on the inside, a wave of adrenaline rushed through him.

He reluctantly raised his long maple-decorated sleeve and lo and behold, there’s more.

     It’s been hundreds of years since I started writing to you that is, if you’re even there...
     Perhaps it’s because I’m not human? Ugh, why do I even try? Whatever.

Kazuha blinked twice before noticing more words appearing on his hands.

     Soulmate, if you do exist, please reply. I can’t bear another day in eternal solitude.

The samurai simply gazed at it, not a clue as to what to do. He kept reading the very same phrases again and over, studying each stroke as if it were a covert scheme. Kazuha had just turned 21, and he had no idea his soulmate had been waiting for him.

As a poet, Kazuha himself has a way with words, too. It’s no surprise he had brought with him a quill. The question is, however, if he is indeed to respond. 

Kazuha breathed deeply and wrote:

     You don’t have to wait any longer. I’m here now.