Mr. Boonchuy's Journal

by DevilsAdvocado

Summary:

More than a week of trying to handle his daughter going missing Mr. Boonchuy sees a therapist to help him handle the struggle. She suggests writing a journal of his feelings.

Notes:

On is Anne's mother's name in this but will be updated if the show reveals her name.

I am not Thai and I will not attempt to shoehorn in excess details related to Thai culture. I just am not confident in anything like that. I feel like this is an element that will leave my work a bit lacking but I hope it will be fine. I am a father and I'm just writing from that angle. Similarly I will not attempt to write in any way that reflects the cadence of an ESL speaker. I suspect the journal would have been in Thai anyway so it wouldn't make sense for those particular speech patterns to be present anyway.

Timeline has been modified to fit that Matt said on Twitter the calendar was a mistake and that they were still in 2019. Dates have shifted somewhat, most notably though this adds 7 days to the total because otherwise either they just ignored Halloween or Anne skipped the last day of school. That keeps her trip to Amphibia to 157 days, solidly more than 5 month but not by much. Thank you everyone on the Amphibia Discord. It also moves the first Market Day. Please bear with me as I rearrange the story.

Chapter 1: June 11th, 2019

Hello Journal.

Is this how you write in a journal? I never really did this before. I probably won't for very long. I'm writing because it was suggested to me by Dr. Geraldine Zhao, my new therapist. Well, she's my first therapist. Do I explain things like this in a journal? I don't intend to show this to anyone, so it's not like they need to know. But I might read it again and want to know what I thought? Whatever, I'll explain it all.

My daughter Anne has been missing for 12 days. I thought for sure they'd come back after the weekend. I kept telling myself she'd be back at school. I kept telling On. I was so certain. But it never happened. She's still gone. But I could look at police reports if I wanted to know that info. I don't think this is what this is for. Dr G, that's what she said she liked being called, she said this should be about how I'm feeling.

I'm not supposed to be scared. Dads are supposed to be brave. So, I'll be brave. But I don't feel brave crying every night. I've been telling On I've been 'distracting' myself with some old games every night but that's not really true. I go to the office and spend most of the time crying with worry. But I don't want her to see. Not that she can't see, but not right now. I need to be strong when she cries so she can have my shoulder. She wouldn't hold it against me if I wanted the same, but if she can see me handling it maybe she will have the strength to handle it.

Even if I'm not handling it at all.

Chapter 2: June 12th, 2019

On has started getting mad at Anne for disappearing. It doesn't last long, but I think she doesn't know what to feel about any of this. I don't think I've felt mad, but I understand why. It hurts. But I just don't think Anne did this on purpose. Whatever this is. But I wouldn't be surprised if Sasha was behind all this. That kid has always skirted the rules and she thinks she'll never be punished for it. She's going to wind up in jail or something I'm sure of it. I just hope she doesn't take Anne with her.

Maybe I do have a bit of anger in me. But thinking for a moment about Sasha in jail for hurting Anne, it doesn't really feel that good. She's trouble but... I have to believe that Anne wouldn't be friends with someone that just wanted something bad for her. And Anne isn't perfect either. I know she keeps trying to intercept her report cards. I guess the real scary thing is what the two of them could do together. Anne hates thinking things through and Sasha hates not being in charge. I guess I shouldn't be too worried. Marcy should be with them and she's got a good head on her shoulders.

Chapter 3: June 13th, 2019

We hired a new worker for Thai Go. His name is Rama. He's a few years older than Anne. I think maybe he dropped out of high school, but he hasn't told us much about it. We knew him because of Temple, but hadn't seen him in a few years. Always a good kid. Said he was desperate for a job, heard about what happened and thought we might need help. He's not wrong. We tried not to make Anne work too many hours at the restaurant so we aren't hurting too bad there. But if we keep working these hours with our heartache I think our hearts will break.

I think something is wrong though. Rama was always a good kid... a little odd, a little quiet, but kind. I saw him be protective of Anne and other kids over the years. He didn't mention his parents or his siblings.

Maybe I am trying to be a dad again. I miss being a dad.

Chapter 4: June 14th, 2019

It's been two weeks now. The restaurant was busy, which I think was good for me. Training Rama has been good. It's strange to interact with someone his age that is so agreeable. He's the kind of kid my parents wanted. I suppose I didn't disappoint them that much, but I was never this polite.

It's addictive to give the kid praise. He just beams. I hope his parents are proud of him. Not that I'm not proud of Anne. She does work hard... sometimes. Anyway, doesn't matter. I don't want to be that kind of parent. It's very tempting though. You want your kid to be good because you want your kid to have a successful life. It's why my family came to America in the first place. But it's easy to forget the kid in the process. I was lucky that it wasn't too hard to seem to please my parents. I remember too many friends who got messed up by parents expecting too much. It's hard to keep On from going hard on Anne about it.

Rama hasn't said much about where his life is right now, or his parents. I'm a little worried.

Chapter 5: June 15th, 2019

I asked On if she knew anything about the Sangsorn family but she said she wasn't too familiar with them. Seems a few of Rama's older brothers still come to Temple but not Rama. She said he was more interested in Temple than Anne was... is.

I don't want to go to Market Day this month. Even if I should go down there, talk to some other members. It's hard to go to them though. I still can't shake that this is my fault. It's unfair to assume but I have this fear that they will see us as bad parents. But I think it's probably just me putting on to them what I honestly think about us.

After all, who loses their child? Bad parents.

But maybe they can help keep an eye out for her, at least. It's irresponsible to let my guilt keep me down.

Notes:

(This chapter edited when the timeline was shifted)

Chapter 6: June 16th, 2019

Notes:

This entry is more recently added than the entry for June 17th due to adjusting the timeline.

What a fool I was to be worried about going to Market Day! This may have been the best day since Anne ran away. In some ways it was one of the best days I ever had. I had no idea how much love would be poured out.

We were ready to just pass out flyers while we sold food but that plan changed fast. A few of the elder women whisked us away, organizing some of their children and grandchildren to run the stall. Then they pulled every detail they could out of us. The Ba train comes again, but I've never been more thankful to be crushed beneath the power of community aunties. They started calling people and brought in some of their kids when they had to share the poster online.

After about an hour of this they sent us home. We both fought them about it but they were very insistent. They said we needed a break. Even before we left a few people said they could come help at the restaurant. Ba-Med said she'd be by that night with dinner, 6pm. She was right on time. She made Tom Yum and it was quite good.

Before that was a few hours we had to ourselves. Most of the car trip home was just the both of us unpacking what happened. You think about things like 'I'm proud of my community' and 'If a member of my community was in trouble, I'd help out'. But you never think you'd experience the other end of it. You don't think about those things because you think about depending on them- it's just well earned pride. So many people stepped up. We were driving home, knowing that we were secure in our business and that more people than ever were looking for Anne.

For the first time in over two weeks the tension was gone. It didn't feel wrong to smile. We didn't feel guilty about laughing. Well. Hmm. Anne, if you are reading this in the future, skip to tomorrow. You don't want to read this. I'm not sure how you got into this journal, but it's fine. Just warning you. For the first time in those two weeks we felt like a couple, not two people sharing a loss. And, well, it all was let out. It wasn't without its flaws, we are still two people who only had a momentary break from pain and it was evident. More than anything it really reconnected us. And I can't be more thankful... but I'm afraid they'll never know exactly what they helped with.

Come to think of it, maybe they knew exactly what they were doing. Ba-Med was quite insistent we know when she would arrive and that she didn't want to arrive unexpected. And she did ask if we felt better. And that grin...

I'm really not sure what to make of this.

Chapter 7: June 17th, 2019

Notes:

This chapter was previously chapter 6; if you've read this chapter make sure you read the previous chapter (June 16th). Sorry for the confusion. This should be the end of fixing the timeline.

There is news! The police called to give preliminary findings. They said there is a report of the three girls leaving a pawn shop around the time a music box of some kind went missing. The working theory is that one or all of the girls stole the music box and that's why they ran away. There were also people who saw some blue light in that area around quarter after six, just a little bit after the last texts went through. They said they didn't know what happened, but maybe one of the girls fired off a firework or hit a transformer with a stolen car, but they haven't found any broken transformers or reports of stolen cars.

I wonder if Marcy made an EMP device? I heard her go on and on about how she was pretty sure she could make one. She used to go off on the wildest topics. I don't think her parents listened to her very much. Every now and then when she'd stay over Marcy would wake up earlier than Anne and Sasha. She'd come down and I'd start making pancakes for the girls (On included). She would talk and talk. I'd have all the pancakes ready but nobody would be awake except me, Marcy and would talk about whatever she was into at that moment. I learned the entire plot of Vagabondia Chronicles, every shortcut in Super Wario Kart (useful information), how to build a homemade EMP, how to build a perfect wizard in Creatures and Caverns versions 3.5, 4th and 5th as well as in RouteScout, the name of every dinosaur big enough to swallow a person, the chemistry of good gardening and so much more. I know those were a lot of examples but it was always nice. I always felt a bit sad that nobody at her home listened to her but then again, I know Anne did.

I'm so worried for them... even Sasha. I don't know how they are surviving on their own. None of the other parents mentioned any money being grabbed or anything taken to prepare. This wasn't planned it seems.

I went to the pawn shop and I paid for the music box. It was a hundred dollars, but that's fine. The old lady said it was a funny object. It and the cabinet it was sitting on were left by the previous owners. Nobody had ever shown interest in either for the last decade she'd owned the shop. I made up a sign that stated 'Music Box is Paid For, Please Come Home' that she agreed to put in the window, along with the missing posters. She said she wished she could help more, but she had actually been asleep when they came in.

I'm hoping that this will get us some results.

Chapter 8: June 18th, 2019

Notes:

Due to chapter shifting, if you are a return reader make sure you've read the previous two chapters.

The last two days had been intense in many directions, it was difficult to get back to work today. We had our volunteers come in. Those who showed up were high school juniors and seniors or there about. I made sure they all were caught up on their school work and not pushing themselves too hard but they assured us things were fine. One of the girls, Alice, admitted that 'volunteer work' looked good on college transcripts, but she said it really did matter to her that we were doing okay. Said she when she heard Anne went missing it really bothered her. David and Kama seemed more or less in agreement.

I decided it was best that we make the time useful for them. I hate to just make people working for free do grunt work. So I figured we can do some chef training, right? Then they will learn a skill at least. Most of today was learning safety, fire and knife mostly. But also how restaurant kitchens are run. The idea is that they should only be here to fill in for a bit for me, On or Chamlong. Having those buffers is going to be a life saver.

They're good kids too. The restaurant feels more alive. I feel more alive.

Ah, crap, it's nearly 11 and I didn't even talk about this week's therapy. It's too late to get into it. I'll write something about it tomorrow.

Chapter 9: June 19th, 2019

Notes:

This will be the last note to returning readers to check out the previous few chapters since a few got rearranged with a timeline shift. Thank you, everyone reading, hope it wasn't too much of a mess.

...here's to the Christmas Episode not being too crazy, right?

It's funny how these journal entries feel like little therapy sessions. I mean, that was the point, but it really gets me thinking about what's going on and working through it.

I'm going to try and tackle this a bit more practically this time to make sure I get to everything.

New business. Today was On's day off. Chamlong was in, with Rama working and David volunteering for a few hours. It was odd to have so many guys in the store at once. I was a bit worried it might get a bit inappropriate and all but it really didn't. Chamlong is always a professional. Rama and David talked a lot, seemingly catching up. They used to be friends but hadn't seen each other for a while. Rama said more in those couple hours than I've ever heard him say. I think I'll make sure they get scheduled together. Especially since they still got work done.

Ah, to the part I missed yesterday. Therapy was good. She was quite pleased that I had taken the journaling so seriously and said that she can always tell quite quickly if someone has been trying hard at it because they will know what's happened in their life. It helped us focus on what was most bothering me at the moment, which is that I know what I'm avoiding. At some point I don't have to just deal with how I miss Anne now but I'll have to ask if she will ever come back. She told me that eventually that will have to be thought about but I don't have to force it and I shouldn't beat myself up for dreading it. For the moment it doesn't seem to be hindering me and if fortune would have it she might show up soon. If she's a runaway, she said, she probably will end up in a shelter and they often will check if someone is looking for someone that comes in. If that happens it's likely that Anne will come home if she knows there isn't a punishment coming for the box. As long as Anne doesn't claim she's avoiding home due to abuse they will encourage her to go home. I know On is very strict and Anne is sometimes mad at her for it but I can't imagine her saying she was abused. But this can take time. If she doesn't come back then eventually, she said, I'll have to face it. She said that as long as I keep going she isn't going to let me ignore it forever and let it get unhealthy. Which is reassuring, honestly.

Chapter 10: June 20th, 2019

Today was pretty simple. I finally got my day off this week thanks to all the help. I did some gardening but mostly I spent some time reading. Maybe a weird one to pick but I read The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. When I was younger and learning English I was told that reading books for kids and teens was a good way to practice your skills. I remember being surprised talking about it here in America with someone and they told me it's pretty religious. I remember them dying at the end of the series but I didn't really get that it was supposed to be about real thoughts on the afterlife. Well, religious or not, I always enjoyed the adventure. When school and parents frustrated me I thought about escaping to Narnia.

It's a nice thought to think that's where Anne is. She's a Daughter of Eve! Sword in hand, fighting trolls or armies on a unicorn. Being crowned High Princess. Having a great adventure. Well, it's a fun thought at least. I suppose really thinking about Anne being a soldier or something is a bit terrifying. Last year she got in that scuffle and that was worrying enough.

No, I think I will keep hoping more realistically. She's hopping from shelters and her and Marcy and Sasha keeping safe. Somewhere. But she can be on an adventure killing the white witch as long as she makes it home.

Chapter 11: June 21st, 2019

Notes:

We're back. I took some time to take in Froggy Little Christmas as well as the newest Matt Braly interview, since both speak quite a bit about Anne's parents. And I also have been toying with an idea about Sasha's father being a police officer, and I figured I'd use that to explain the current canon question: why haven't the police been interested in how Anne is now back?

It's been three weeks. I decided to spend some time talking to Mr. Waybright. I thought maybe he might know some more about what was going on, since he's a police officer. I don't think he knows anything the other officers already told me. But that isn't what bothers me. The way he talked about Sasha felt... wrong. I was worried he'd blame Anne for what happened but he didn't. He didn't say so directly, but I almost think he blames Sasha. Then he went on about how I didn't need to worry, that he would make sure the investigation got out of hand. Almost like I would be spared the embarrassment of a wayward child. I was stunned and just... thanked him out of reaction.

I have been devastated since then. Not just because I'm really worried about whatever Mr. Waybright is doing is going to hurt our chances to find the girls. But because I have been embarrassed. I almost didn't go to the Temple for help because of it. And now I am a wreck of shame and guilt. I can't believe I've thought of being embarrassed when the only thing that should matter is finding Anne.

I called in Chamlong for a few hours for the lunch rush. I told On that my conversation had me in a bad spot because there wasn't any news. You could say it wasn't a lie, but it didn't say the important part. Mostly because On would probably just kill Mr. Waybright if she knew. I was able to get myself together in the end and was there for the Friday evening rush.

I hope On isn't spending as much time as I am pretending to have things together. I hope she's not keeping secrets. But I wouldn't be surprised if she's also trying to be strong for me.