Chapter 1: Love Goes
Chapter Text
You’re broken, I know this
And if you knew it, you would love me a whole different way
But that’s how love goes, goes
Blood. There was blood everywhere. He never saw so much red at once.
He remembered washing his hands in the white hospital sink, rubbing it hard, while his wife’s blood was going down the drain.
His wife’s blood.
The same blood he could still see under his tone nails, even though he tried to wash it away. But it didn’t go away. They do say blood is thicker than water, he just never thought about it until now.
The waiting room was full of people. Blake, Crystal, Adam, her new sister, Amanda, Sam, Kirby. Everyone was there except Alexis. Everyone wanting, no, needing to know how she was.
Fallon would have liked that. Knowing she managed to have every person she loved in the same room and no fighting envolved. She only had to get shot to do it.
He could hear the sound of footsteps near him, but he didn’t raise his head. His body has been feeling way to heavy for him to carry himself, so he continued he way he was. His head down, leaning his body against the white wall, absorbing the sound of the vending machine on his right, and focusing on the buzz it made, but still glaring at his hands, still reddish because of the blood, the same blood that remained under his nails and on his clothes.
“Liam” he hears a feminine voice with a accent but doesn’t bother to move. “I’m Amanda. I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced” she starts softer than he would expect but still gets annoyed with the interruption.
“I know” he mumbles, pulling in and out his wedding ring, hoping the movement could take his mind somewhere else.
“Fallon has told me so much about you that I feel like I’ve known you for a long time” she ends with a smile, expecting a reaction from him but she doesn’t get one.
“I wish I could say the same... but Fallon and I... we weren’t in good speaking terms” this time he looks up to stare at the blonde in front of him. Her clothes didn’t have any trace of blood like his, but her face betrayed her, and he noticed the fear in her eyes right away. Just like him, Amanda was also scared of losing Fallon.
Amanda nods, her hand squeezing one of her fingers, to anxious to keep them quiet. “I know. She came to me a few days ago. She was trying to save your marriage and asked for my help”
“Do you know she slept with another man?” he blurts out, not really getting where this came from but too numb to actually filter his words.
It's over, Fallon
“I do. Yes” she confirms not knowing exactly how to respond to that. “Liam, I’m aware I barely know you, but are you feeling alright? You seem a little shocked”
He should be in shock. His wife just got shot, right in front of him. The woman he loved and also cheated on him, almost died in his arms.
The sound of the gunshot was still in his head, repeating itself like an annoying song that never goes away. The feeling that something was not right confirmed when he looked at his left and saw Fallon’s perfect white dress stained with blood. He watched as that stain got bigger and his wife got paller. He was fast enough to catch her so she wouldn’t fall completely on the ground, but kept a hand on the wound. He remembers Adam yelling at him to “don't move your hand” or to “keep pushing, Liam”. And he followed his orders.
He started to call for help the second Fallon closed her eyes, the same blue eyes that were staring at him minutes ago, happy that he made it, that he was there with her and willing to give their relationship another try.
He remembers the paramedics arriving and asking if he was related to her and if he wanted to come with them in the ambulance. He just nodded and followed their orders too.
He remembers seeing his wife limp body being taken away from him and a nurse telling him that they would be taking good care of her. He could still hear Blake shouts, asking where his daughter was, while Liam was washing his hands.
He remembered everything. Like this was one of those out body experiences. He could probably get his computer at that moment and type everything, every minor detail.
He just couldn’t believe this was happening to him. To Fallon. To them. So yes, he was in shock. He shakes his head, laughing a humorless laugh while his eyes didn’t show any life in them.
“We met up today” he starts, focusing on the wall on the other side, this time, his eyes watering “She tried to convince Eva was a stalker and had a plan to separate us and when she stopped talking, I told her I had contacted a divorce lawyer”
This is goodbye, Fallon
“Liam...” Amanda starts in a condescending tone but he doesn’t listen to her.
“I was ready to walk away. I was going to sign those papers and disappear. I really was. But then, Eva just opened her mouth and I finally understood what Fallon was saying earlier. I could see what would happen the second I asked her to leave” he continues, his voice hollow.
Amanda lays a hand on his shoulder, taking a step closer to him. “Liam, you have to know that this was not your fault”
“You didn’t see her eyes when I kicked her out” he shakes his head, and some tears escapes his eyes with the movement
“I didn’t have to. I had a feeling that woman was not in her right mind when I found out about her true identity. This, is her fault, only” Amanda stress, squeezing his shoulder.
He raise his hands, rubbing his face and wipes some of the tears. “I should hate her” he speaks, looking down again.
“Yes, you should. She shot your wife” Amanda agrees nodding.
He shakes his head. “Not Eva. No, no, words can’t describe what I’m feeling right now about that woman. I meant Fallon. I should hate her”
Amanda stays silent, not wanting to say the wrong thing and he continues.
“I should hate her so much. I should despise her. After all, she cheated on me and even though our marriage was going through a rough phase, I never expected her to do that. Even in my worst nightmares, I never saw that coming” he exhales and Amanda feels her heart break for the already broken man in front of her.
“Have you let her explain? Maybe this has a explanation” she tries but he shakes his head.
“Do you think that there’s a motive out there, something that can explain why she was having an affair with the guy she claimed she hate? Other than just who she is?” he asks sarcastic and Amanda feel his pain in every word.
“You know her better than I do” she shrugs, sending him a condescending smile.
He huffs, looking away, watching Blake yell at some nurse again while Crystal tried to calm him down. “I guess I didn’t “
Amanda takes a deep breath, preparing her next words carefully. “I need you to think clearly here, Liam, because these kind of situations, like the one we are living now, only intensifies our most irrational feelings. You said you should hate her, so it means that don’t hate her, am I right?” he stays quiet and she gets her answer. “You love her, Liam. And I can see how much it pains you that you still love her and wants her to make out alive. You’re allowed to feel that away. And I know that what Fallon did was wrong, in every way, but I did my fair share of wrong things in the past so I won’t judge. And if you are still here, if you appeared tonight just to be by her side, I think you want to give her a second chance” she ends softly.
She expects an answer from him but their conversation is interrupted by a doctor rushing in to the waiting room, and suddenly everyone’s attention is on him.
“I was told you were waiting for news about Fallon Carrington” he starts, glancing at his charts to make sure he got the name right.
“Yes, she’s my daughter” Blake intervenes and Liam is grateful for tat, too numb still to move or open his mouth, afraid of what he was going to hear.
“I’m the doctor that operated her. She’s off the surgery and your daughter is stable now” and just like that, everyone in the room could breath again. Everyone but him. “She lost a lot of blood but we stopped the bleeding and the bullet didn’t hit any important tissue. She’s expected to have a full recovery”
He can hear cheers in the room, can see Blake hugging Crystal and Kirby lay her head on Sam’s shoulder, relieved. But Amanda didn’t move, she stayed right next to him, not saying a single word or showing any emotion, paying attention to Liam’s reaction, which was none.
“When can we see her? I need to see my daughter immediately” Blame demands.
“She’s heavily sedated now, or else she wouldn’t be able to deal with the pain. But right after surgery, she regained her conscience for a brief period of time and called for a Liam?” the doctor asks, moving his head if he could point it out who was the person he was talking about.
I miss you, Liam
And suddenly all eyes were on him.
He didn’t budge. He shouldn’t. He can’t have the privilege. After all, they both hurt each other. Badly. And she was now lying down on a hospital bed because of a stalker. A stalker that shot his wife because he said no to her. So no, he shouldn’t move.
Blake knew his daughter marriage was not in a good place, even though her husband did show up to stand next to her tonight. So he stepped in, trying to dissipate the weirdness in the room.
“Liam is her husband. But I’m her father, I really need to see her, to make sure she’s okay” he insists but it’s interrupted by Amanda.
“Father, I think you should let Liam go first” she starts and Liam glances at her, not understanding why she was doing that.
“Amanda –“ Liam starts but she stops him.
“You need to see her first” she turns to face him, staring at his eyes until he nods, then she turns to Blake. “I think is just fair he goes first, after all, Fallon was calling for him, not for one of us”
One by one, they all nod, agreeing with her, and Liam finally leaves the wall, ignoring the pain in his back for being too long in the same position.
She steps in front of him and speaks in hushed tones. “I’ve gotta go, I’ve got a call from Alexis and she needs my help. But you go there and stay with the woman you love. And I know we barely know each other, but if you need me, just ask my father and he will give you my number and you can call me anytime”
He nods and starts walking, slowly to where the doctor was. He can feel all eyes on him again, but he doesn’t care. He was going to see the woman he loves.
“Follow me” the doctor asks and he takes his first steps when Blake stops him with a hand on his arm.
“If she’s awake” he starts “tell her I love her” Blake pleads and Liam nods, not trusting his words.
He follows the doctor through many hallways until they finally arrive at a room. Room 2347. He never loathed a number more.
He opens the door carefully, and there she was. Sleeping peacefully, like a princess from a fairytale. But her body was hooked to several machines, all of them making noises he was sure she would complain about it if she could. And instead of a nice dress, like the ones she loved to wear, she was wearing a blue clothing she was going to detest even more.
He takes a few steps closer to her, watching her chest move up and down and somehow, that gave him piece.
“As I’ve said before, she’s stable” her doctor starts, noticing Liam wouldn’t move or say anything “We are going to keep her here for a few days, to monitor her wound, to make sure everything is as expected. But soon your wife will be good as new” he says expecting a reaction, but when gets nothing, he makes his way to leave.
As soon the door closes, the numb goes away.
He walks to her, standing in front of her bed, touching first her covered feet, then her legs, just to be sure she was real. Not a vision.
He sees a chair in the corner of the room and pushes closer to her bed. He sits on the uncomfortable chair, taking the opportunity to look closer at her. He admires her face, free of make up, her hair making waves on her pillow.
She doesn’t move and didn’t seem to notice his presence, so carefully, he takes her hand. He squeezes it, not liking the coldness of it.
Don't touch me
Her hands are still a little bit red, just like his. And he also notice she too has blood under her nails, destroying her perfect manicure.
It doesn’t matter. She’s here. She’s alive. And after what it feels like a longtime, he’s touching her and is in piece with it.
He doesn’t know how long he stays like that, holding her hand, watching her face, expecting any changes, until a nurse comes in to the room.
“Sorry to disturb” she apologizes, walking slowly to him. “So you’re the famous Liam, huh?” She jokes coming closer to watch the monitors around the bed, making sure everything was good.
He frowns. “Famous?”
The nurse chuckles, finally turning to him after checking on Fallon. “When your wife woke up after her surgery, she kept saying your name. If we didn’t have to sedate her again, she would have woken the whole hospital up, calling for you”
His eyes go straight to her peaceful face and he can imagine Fallon driving the staff mad with her orders.
“She must really love you” the nurse completes with a smile, ignorant to what was going in their lives. “Are you newlyweds? We get to see things like that all the time here with them, it’s like they found love for the first time in their lives”
He doesn’t know how to answer, aware the woman wouldn’t like his answer and also had nothing to do with their marriage.
So he nods, not letting his eyes away from Fallon’s face.
“I’m truly sorry. No one should have to be here, especially people on their first year married” she says with a pout and Liam has to hold his thought. “No one should have to deal with a betrayal and a shooting at their first year married. Or kidnappings”
“Here” she gives him a transparent plastic bag and he has to let go of Fallon’s hand to pick it from the nurse. “These are her personal belongings. We tried to remove the blood from everything as much as we could but you might want to get it cleaned again”
He opens the bag and see the jewelry Fallon was wearing tonight, among them, her wedding ring and the peach diamond ring. He holds the last two on his hands, wondering why she was wearing them that night if he had just told her he wanted a divorce. Maybe for appearances. His thoughts are disturbed by the nurse again.
“Those are beautiful. You have a really good taste” she compliments him, watching him admire the rings.
He shakes his head. “Fallon always hated my taste in everything”
She chuckles. “I bet she liked your choice. It is one of the most gorgeous rings I’ve ever seen” she turns to Fallon again, double checking everything. “She seems fine, but if you need or see anything that is not ordinary, I’ll be down the hall”
“Thanks” he says, putting the pieces back in the bag and she nods, leaving the room.
There’s silence again and he’s thankful for it. He takes his wife’s hand, bringing it slowly to his face. He brushes a light kiss on the back of her hand, hoping his beard wouldn’t irritate her skin too much and keeps holding it next to face, trying to warm it.
He stays like there for what could be hours, never moving even though his back is killing him. Her vitals are good and he knows he should let others visit her but once again that night, he can’t move.
Her face is peaceful and he misses it. He miss the rare opportunities he had of watching her sleep. He misses the smell of her hair, the first perfume he usually smells at morning. He misses waking up with her head on his chest, even though it’s been too long since they woke up together. He even misses the sound of her getting ready to work.
And in the silence, her voice apologizing to him, echoes in his head. So right now, all he wants is to hear her speak, so he can replace that sound.
He closes his eyes, searching in his mind for the right memory. And he finds it. Suddenly, they are back at the Maldives. They are in bed, their bedroom’s door open, letting the breeze come in. There’s white sheets everywhere and she’s trying to get out of bed so she wouldn’t miss her massage. But he’s not letting her, kissing her neck and keeping her arms still with his own hands. There’s laughter, then, there’s moans, and they’re happy. He’s never been so happy than in that moment.
Without noticing, a smile appears in his face and a voice disturbs his happy place. “Liam” Fallon’s hoarse voice echoes in the empty room.
I showed up, didn't I?
He opens his eyes to see her blue ones staring at his, with a frown on her face. He breaths relieved, he just got his wish.
He kisses her hand again, this time with more force and speaks with a chocked voice. “Hey, Fal”
She moves her head, checking the room she’s in, clearly confused and sleepy. His other hand goes to her hair, rubbing it lightly, hoping to calm her down.
“Fal, you’ve been through a lot. Why don’t you go back to sleep?” he suggests soft and she focuses on him, her blurry eyes trying to read him.
“Will you be here when I wake up?” she asks hopeful and he nods, giving her a half grin but she doesn’t buy it.
“Do you promise me?” He chuckles. Even convalescent and barely conscious, his Fallon was there.
“I promise” he nods and this time she believes him, closing her eyes again, going back to her world of dreams.
He stays put, watching her, wishing he could follow her there.
Chapter 2: Unsteady
Notes:
Hello everyone!
I just have to say I was amazed by your reactions to the first chapter!
Really, I wasn't expecting much, nothing actually. But you guys surprised so thank you!
This one is based on Unsteady by X Ambassadors
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Mama, come here
Approach, appear
Daddy, I'm alone
'Cause this house don't feel like home
If you love me, don't let go
If you love me, don't let go
Hold, hold on, hold on to me
'Cause I'm a little unsteady
A little unsteady
Fallon groans as soon as the sunlight reaches her eyes, interrupting her sleep. She tries to turn to her other side but the pain that radiates from her abdomen stops her movement. Deciding not to use her energy again, she chooses the next alternative.
“Sam!” she yells and regrets immediately when her wound reminds her she can’t go back to her previously life like nothing had happened. With her head still on her pillow, she takes deep breaths, waiting for the pain to go away.
Sam rushes in to her bedroom out of air. “What?! What happened? Did you pull your stitches again?” he asks standing next to the end of her bed.
“That only happened once” she gets defensive then pouts “Can you close those damn curtains? I can’t sleep with all of that light in the room”
When he doesn’t budge, she huffs, rolling her eyes. “Please? I really need my sleep for my full recovery” she tries again. And this time he moves, but only to open the rest of the curtains, lighting even more the room.
“Sam” Fallon groans but he ignores.
“Sorry, honey, but no can do. You’ve done enough moping for a whole decade already”
“I’m not moping. I’m recovering from a gunshot” she whines, making a grimace while she shifts to sit against the headboard. He enjoys the free space to sit next to her legs.
“It’s been three weeks. Your normal self would’ve been out of this bed fourteen days ago. You would have never let your company unattended for so long”
She rolls her eyes, clearly bored. “Priorities change, Sam. And I’ve heard Blake is doing great in there”
“Again, the Fallon I know would never let Blake take her place at her company, even if it was for a few weeks” he stresses. “And he has other duties, like his political career”
“He owes me. And what did you want me to do? I can’t be in two places at the same time and these pain meds make me fuzzy. And I can’t really trust someone outside the family with my business. I’m not myself right now” she crosses her arms with a pout and he sighs, squeezing her knee affectionately.
“This I know. But I just can’t decipher if this is has anything to do with the shooting or Liam” Fallon huffs.
“More like the absence of him”
Liam kept his promise and was there when she woke up again after her surgery. He was in the room, away from her bed, talking to her doctor and when she opened her mouth to call him, her family barged in with flowers and pink balloons, interrupting any chance of her speaking to him. He left without her noticing, and only made one visit while during her stay at the hospital, bringing her favorite flowers but they didn’t talk because Sam and Kirby wouldn’t leave her alone.
“Fallon, give the guy some space” he warns and she huffs again.
“It’s been a week since I’ve been discharged. A week, Sam. And he didn’t stop by. Or sent a message or left a call. I think I already gave him enough space”
“He sent you flowers” Sam points out, gesturing for the bouquet of red roses on her bedside table.
She sighs. “At the night of the shooting, he showed up and told me he wanted to give us a second chance. Does that seem like someone who wants to try again?”
He shrugs. “He’s been through a lot during these past few weeks”
“He’s been through a lot? I was shot by his stalker” she states and he sighs.
“A stalker you hired, by the way. And do I need to make you a list on why things might be hard on him too?” he asks skeptical and she shakes her head.
“No need” she dismisses “But I’m just saying, I almost died. If he really cared about me, he would be here, am I right?” She stops to reconsider her own words when her eyes opens wide. “Do you think he doesn’t love me anymore? Did Liam finally gave up on me?” She asks hysterically and Sam pushes her shoulders against her pillows again.
“First, you need to calm down. You remember what your doctor told you about getting all worked up. It might raise your blood pressure and that can cause you another bleeding and I don’t think I can see so much blood again without fainting” he starts fanning himself, so his blood pressure wouldn’t betray him “Second, you need to focus on your recovery, not on him”
“I wish I could” she complains, staring at the red roses “All I can think about is him”
His phone buzzes and he takes it immediately to type something.
“Sorry, am I interrupting you?” She asks ironically but he dismisses with his hand.
“No, no, continue. We were talking about Liam” he speaks still typing and she glares at him.
“Sam”
This time he looks up. “What? I own a hotel, remember? I’ve been working non-stop since that fiasco night, trying to clean our image, that wasn’t much better before Eva showed up”
Fallon cringes. “I’m truly sorry about that, Sam. I feel like this is my fault”
He shakes his head. “No, Fallon. Don’t go there. I’m not thinking like that, so neither should you”
“I still do” she shrugs “I thought I had experiences with psychopaths and still, I hired one to be my assistant”
“To be fair, I think she is a sociopath”
“Oh my God” Fallon exclaims, rubbing her face “What have my life turned in to?”
Sam chuckles. “If there’s one thing you can’t complain, is that your life is boring”
His phone beeps again, but now three times in a row.
“Is La Mirage on fire? Who has been texting you?” she questions, interested in his business since she can’t take care of hers.
“Just an employee” he mumbles and something doesn’t sound right to her, so she leans, just enough to steal his phone from his hands while still typing, ignoring the pain while doing it. “Fallon” he yells but he knows a storm had just arrived with the look on her face.
“Employee my ass” she shouts and he cringes “You’re a terrible liar, Sam. Why haven’t you told me you’ve been speaking with Liam this whole time?” She questions going through his messages, ignoring his privacy while reading every text Liam had sent him for the past three weeks.
“Because it’s none of your business. Now, can I have my phone back?” he leans trying to take it back but she slaps his hand, going back to the screen.
“No, you can’t. Oh my God, Sam. This is why he’s not calling, you’re giving him updates about me” she glares at him and he actually gets scared “Do you have any idea what this means?”
He frowns. “No?”
“It means you’re stealing my chance to have a conversation with him” she shouts throwing his phone at his lap “It’s really hard to be me these days. First, I get shot, then I get stabbed in the back and the person who I considered my friend is the one holding the knife”
He rolls his eyes. “Don’t you think you’re being a little melodramatic?”
“I got shot”
“Yes, yes, we are all aware of that and you won’t let us forget about it. But are you thinking about why Liam and I have been texting?”
“Please don’t tell me you’re in love with him too” she begs.
“Well, he has really nice abs and a face I wouldn’t mind stare at it all day. But no, I’m not in love with him”
“Thank God for that” she mutters.
“Fallon, he has been texting me to know about you. He’s been worried sick but he’s not comfortable with being here with you yet. That is good news” he tries to cheer her up, but her face looks sadder.
“So he’s worried about me but doesn’t want to get closer to me” she states.
Sam shakes his head. “That’s not what I said. And Fallon, look at this with another eye, he still cares about you. Isn’t that what you’ve been freaking out about minutes ago?”
She sighs, any excitement for the day gone. “Caring is not loving, Sam. If he’s not ready to see me, then I’ve got nothing”
“Hey” he sings, coming closer to her “Love has many layers, and many ways of showing it. He, asking me about you, is one of them. Trust me, he still loves you”
She looks down, fidgeting her blanket, too sad to reply.
They hear footsteps outside her door and soon, Amanda’s face show up at the door.
“Knock, knock” the blonde sings at the threshold, holding a tray filled with food. “I thought of stopping by on my way to work to check on you first. I saw the staff preparing your breakfast and I figured it would be a good idea to arrive with food. And your medication”
She starts walking inside but slows her pace when she notices the sour mood in the mood. “What is happening?” she questions putting the tray next to Fallon’s legs.
“Oh, nothing. I just found out my husband doesn’t want to see me and Sam here, has been cozying up to him, having conversations behind my back” Fallon snaps and Sam rolls his eyes, for what could be, it’s hundreth time that day.
“Things were such much calmer when she was still in the hospital” he mumbles.
Amanda cringes, crossing her arms. “So I guess that now is not a good time to say Liam and I had dinner last night?”
“What?!” both Sam and Fallon shouts and Amanda closes her eyes, regretting it.
Fallon narrows her eyes. “What were you doing with him? Are you buddies now?”
“I just figured he needed a friend during all of this” the blonde shrugs but Fallon doesn’t let go.
“And since when you two know each other? I don’t remember introducing you”
“I reached out the night of the shooting. He seemed lost and I just wanted to help”
“That’s true” Sam intervenes, vouching for Amanda “His state was pretty bad that night”
“Bad?” Fallon scoffs “You know what’s bad? It’s that every member of this family, including the new ones, have had more interaction with Liam than me. What’s next? He and Blake golfing at Saturday’s mornings? Did Adam and Liam started a book club together?”
“Maybe you’re overreacting” Amanda suggests and Sam shakes his head, knowing she had just said the wrong thing.
“I’m overreacting?!” the brunette snaps “I think I’m reacting just fine considering the amount of liars surrounding me” Sam’s phone buzzes again and Fallon glares at him “Oh Sam, would you be a dear and tell Liam his probably soon ex-wife is loosing it here? I’m sure that will make him have his divorce attorney show up here by noon”
He chooses to stay quiet, trying not to make things worse but it doesn’t calm her down.
“And what on earth you two talk about?” She turns to Amanda frowning “Because I know that this traitor here is telling him about my health so I’m curious about what you have in common”
“Well, first we talked about you, then about family. His and mine. It’s nice to talk to someone that is not used to this family dynamics. Someone normal” she shrugs.
“Hey” Sam interrupts annoyed.
“That’s because you never met his mother. Lovely woman. And what exactly did you talk about me?” Fallon inquiries, ignoring her last sentence.
“I can’t remember the specifics Fallon. It was weeks ago”
“Make an effort” Fallon bosses and Amanda rolls her eyes. “Now that I have that kind of information, you can help me restore my marriage”
“I don’t think I can help in that department” she mutters.
“Why? Have Liam said anything to you?” Fallon asks desperate.
“No, he hasn’t” Amanda answers tired “Why don’t you just give him some space? He’ll reach out when he’s ready”
“Why people keep saying that?” She questions annoyed, huffing “It’s been weeks since I saw his face or heard his voice. Weeks. That’s more than enough” the brunette glances at the breakfast tray, making a grimace “And where’s my bacon? I want my bacon and my black coffee” she demands, throwing a tantrum in her bed.
“We’ve been through this already, Fallon. You’re on a strict diet because of your wound. No grease or black coffee” Sam warns her tiredly.
“I don’t care” Fallon pouts crossing her arms. Amanda exhales soundly, putting her hands inside her pockets.
“What do you want, Fallon?”
“Bacon” the brunette answers on the verge of tears but blinking fast to keep them away. “And Liam”
Sam squeezes her hand, sympathetic with her pain, forgetting all the shouting she just did and pats her left knee with his other hand, affectionately.
“I don’t think I can do anything about the first, but I promise to try about the second, okay?” Amanda concedes in a conspiratorial tone, winking at her. Fallon nods, not truly buying her words. “Now I have to go. Have a nice day and eat your breakfast” the blonde says bidding her goodbyes while leaving the room.
“And I don’t want to leave you alone too, but for real this time, I need to check on some things in La Mirage” Sam tells her apologetically but she dismisses him with her hand.
“Just go, Sam. I’ll be fine here eating this shame excuse of a breakfast” she tries to joke putting a fake smile on her face. One Sam doesn’t buy it but let it go.
“I’ll be back by noon, in time for your physical therapy” he promises standing up.
“You know you don’t need to be here for that”
“I do, but let me just say I have an interest in your activities”
“My activities or my physical therapist? I knew you were checking his ass yesterday” Fallon gives his a smug expression and he sighs.
“Whatever. I’ll be here noon and you better keep your mouth shut about this to him” he warns but she rolls her eyes, not afraid of his threats.
He leaves her bedroom and suddenly the silence is back, reminding Fallon why she almost cried about bacon minutes ago. As much as she tried to hide, she was not feeling like herself, and unlike what she told Sam, this had nothing to do with her meds.
Yes, they make her sleepy. But they didn’t make her feel empty inside like she feels now.
She misses her work but can’t go to her office because of her doctor’s orders. She could do some work from home but she would need an assistant and right now she just doesn’t have in her to trust someone new, having been betrayed so many times to do that. And even if she did hire someone for the job, she couldn’t stop thinking about Liam. For the first time in her life, work couldn’t be used by a distraction or something to bring her joy.
Yes, she has a multi billion dollar company, one that she started from zero. She has finally achieved what she always wanted. A successful career, respect from Blake and even was in a good place with her mother – even though the older woman had been arrested for murder the night of her shooting.
She has everything. Everything but not the man she loves by her side. Fallon can still remember perfectly that night.
He showed up, handsome as always, and she couldn’t hide the hope and the joy she felt when he walked to her and stood by her side. His cologne filled her nostrils and she immediately felt peace rushing to her heart.
He said he wanted to try again and she already had the speech ready in her head. She would say how grateful she was that he was willing to give her, give their marriage a second chance. That she was going to spend less time in her office and more time with him. And she would never even glance at another man because he was more than enough for her.
She was convinced she could do it. And if she played her cards right, he would be back at the manor by the end of the month. And she would make a promise to herself, that she would never take him or her marriage for granted. She would never repeat the same patterns she grew up watching Blake repeat, ignoring everyone around him.
She would be better. A better wife. A better friend. A better daughter. A better sister. A better Fallon.
And Liam’s look on her gave her all the confidence she needed.
Then, she heard the sound. People screaming everywhere. And suddenly, she wasn’t feeling right. She looked down to see her perfect dress ruined by blood. Her blood.
She didn’t feel any pain, probably still in shock. But her legs didn’t work anymore and her strength was gone.
Liam caught her right on time and his face, his scared eyes were the last thing she saw before everything went dark.
And the first thing when she woke up again hours later. She could tell he was tired and probably uncomfortable on that chair, but he was there, holding her hand, brushing her hair and telling her he would be there for her. So she went back to sleep, believing him.
Now, how she wished she had stayed awake. How she wished she had more time with him. Because now, attached to her bed, he was all she wanted.
She eats only half of her breakfast, leaving the rest for the staff to pick it up later. She tries to read a book on her iPad but it only makes her more cranky, since her mind was elsewhere and she couldn’t focus. By the time lunch arrives, she read only ten pages and was already bored.
She looks up when she hears the knock on her door, to see Liam leaning on the threshold, holding a paperbag in one hand and a small bouquet of pink roses with the other one.
“Liam” she drops her iPad and realizes it’s useless to try to fix her hair or her green silk pajamas “What are you doing here?”
“Heard someone was craving bacon so I thought I could help” he waves the paper bag while walking to her and she chuckles.
“Sam?” She guesses.
“Amanda” he corrects with a smile “But Sam too”
“What’s in there?”
“A hamburger, made by me, with lots of bacon. I asked Sam if I could use the hotel’s cuisine and he let me” He passes her the bag and she takes it with a smile “I called your doctor earlier and he said you were allowed to eat it, but this has to be a one time thing, at least until you get fully recovered”
“This smells really good” she opens the paper bag to smell it and puts it on her bedside table “It’s been a while” she hints, and he gets the message.
“Yeah, I planned to visit earlier but some things came up” he rubs the back of his neck.
“Things more important than your wife?” She asks ironic and he sighs.
“That’s not what I said” he takes a step closer, sitting next to her feet and leaving the bouquet on the bed “First, I got really busy helping the police build a case against Eva. They needed my help to fill some gaps”
“I hope she rottens in jail” she mutters.
“Me too” he nods.
“And that took you three weeks to finish?”
“No” he shakes his head looking down “I guess I just needed some time, after everything”
“You mean time away from me” she states, “Because you’ve been talking to Sam and even Amanda”
“Amanda is a nice surprise and she’s easy to talk to. And Sam was updating me, because even though I wasn’t here, I still want to know about you” he rubs her leg over the blanket and she enjoys the feeling of his hands on her again “How are you feeling?”
“Sam didn’t you tell you that?” She asks sarcastic and he laughs.
“He did but I guess I just need to hear straight from the source”
She huffs. “I’m getting better each day. My stitches still hurt but I can handle it”
“I thought the medication was helping with the pain”
“They do, but they make me feel weird and I don’t like it” he chuckles “I’m basically healed. I guess the only thing I’m missing here is you” she declares and notices when his posture changes.
His shoulders are tense and she almost regrets it saying out loud but it was true. She was missing him.
He gives her a half smile. “We were cut short that night but we were supposed to talk, to decide how we should do things moving forward”
“Yes, I agree. But you’re here, so maybe we could talk now?” She asks hopeful, leaning to take his hand.
“Right now my main concern is to see you well again. And that should be yours too”
“It is, but I’m a multi-task woman, I can focus on multiple things at the same time” she points it out squeezing his hand.
“I’m aware of that” he laughs, squeezing back “But I really need you to get better before doing this”
“I’ve told you, I am better” she insists.
“Sam told me you haven’t been working. That you never even mentioned Fallon Unlimited since you got home. So, I’m asking again, are you sure you are alright? Because I know you, and this, is not you”
“Sam should learn how to keep his mouth shut” Fallon groans “This is just a phase, I’m recovering”
“I get that, but I’m just wondering what is your reason behind your refusal to go back to work”
“I’m not refusing anything,” she protests but a glare from him forces her to admit the truth “I guess I’m just not ready” she shrugs “I did build something amazing but it came with great costs too. I almost died, Liam. That helps put things in perspective”
He rubs her hand with his free one. “I agree but your work had nothing to do with what happened that night, Fallon”
“I’m not sure about that” she shakes her head “I got so obsessed with it that I failed to see what was happening around me”
“Fallon, the shooting had nothing to do with your work, so you have to let go of this guilt” he pleads, his thumb running circles on the back of her hand “That happened because of someone who was clearly not stable and is in jail now. There’s nothing to be afraid of”
Of course he would be the only one to understand why she didn’t want to leave her home. Just like the beginning of their marriage, but this time, the stalker almost got its job done.
Her ability to trust was broken. She trusted someone with her whole life, while that someone was plotting to kill her. And that happened twice in the same year so it was not without a reason she didn’t feel safe anymore. She had to stay focus and her job would only get in the way of that.
“I used to have this radar inside my head, and it would ring every time I met someone I needed to be careful with. And it still rings every time Adam gets closer. But it failed me, twice now. And I’m not used to walk around without it”
He gives a warm smile. “Maybe you just need to let go of it for a while, learn how to trust people in the old and traditional way, like us, common people do”
“Will you help me?” She asks insecure.
“I can. But Fallon Carrington does not need my help for anything” he winks “I really do expect you to go back to your company soon. I know how happy it makes you”
“Not as much as you do” she intervenes, intertwining their fingers “Don’t forget that”
“I won’t” he promises “I stand by what I said, but this is a conversation for later. Now, how about we share those burgers?” he tilts his head to the forgotten paper bag.
“What do you mean? I thought those were for me” she frowns.
“As is if I would ever let you eat two burgers on yourself, especially when you’re on a diet” he takes the bag, opening it and passing one burger to her. “To your fast recovering” he toast lifting his food and she goes along.
“To no more sociopaths in our lives”
“Cheers to that” they both take a bite and Fallon moans while chewing hers.
“Humm, this is really good”
“Of course it is, I made it” he says smug “Now finish your food fast before anyone sees it. No one can know about this”
“Trust me, no one finding out about this is my main priority. As long as you keep them coming”
“I will try my best” he smirks “But I have to leave soon. Apparently Sam has his eyes set on your physical therapist and I don’t want to get in the middle of that”
“Or maybe you could stay” she suggests, “It’s really funny to see Sam try to get his attention” she says trying to convince him.
“I wished I could but I have to go” he speaks putting the rest of his burger in his mouth and standing up.
“Oh, okay then”
“But I promise to try and stop by more often. And I really want to see you back at your office, soon” she nods.
He takes a step closer to brush her hair and she avoids closing her eyes in delight, trying to absorb the moment as much as she can. He plants a light kiss on her forehead.
“If you need me, give me a call. Or just ask Sam to do it for you. He loves to talk about you” She laughs.
“We can agree to disagree”
“Bye, Fallon” he walks out and the silence is back to her room.
But this time, the anxiety she was feeling tones it down and she can actually feel the endorphins running through her veins.
He was right, she had to go back to Fallon Unlimited, and this time, she would try, unafraid.
She was aware it wasn’t going to be easy, but she had a goal in mind.
Her wound healed, her company back on track and her husband by her side.
And Fallon Carrington pitied the soul of anyone who would try to stand in her way.
Notes:
I just wanted to thank everyone that left a kudo or a comment, you guys are incredible!
Tell me your thoughts! I love to see your opinions and guesses for the future!
See you next chapter!
Chapter 3: Sorry
Chapter Text
I've missed your calls for months, it seems
Don't realize how mean I can be
'Cause I can sometimes treat the people
That I love like jewelry
'Cause I can change my mind each day
I didn't mean to try you on
But I still know your birthday
And your mother's favorite song
So I'm sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can't believe
That anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn't mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Sam watches carefully while the brunette in front of him chews her omelet slowly, savoring every piece of it with an enigmatic expression.
“So?” He asks expectantly when she finishes.
“It’s getting better. It’s not like Mrs Gunnerson's but it’s edible” Fallon shrugs, putting her fork down on the plate.
“Thank God. It means I finally got it right with the chef” he groans, taking a bite of his own omelet “And we could be eating Mrs Gunnerson’s food as we speak but you decided it would be a good idea to have breakfast at the hotel”
She sighs, pouting. “I know. But I just can’t stand to see Liam’s vacant seat at the table for another day. It makes me lose my appetite”
“So we are talking about Liam again? Because he’s becoming our daily topic” Sam complains, leaning back.
“Yes, Sam. We are talking about Liam again. Especially since nothing has changed in our situation and I’m not having much improvement in my antics to show him I’ve changed and how invested I am in our marriage. And I’m on a deadline here, he’s visiting his half brother in California in a few days, which means I have to act faster” she complains, using her fork to toy with her food.
He frowns. “I thought he only had a sister”
"He does. Lucy. She hates Laura as much as I do which makes her a wonderful person but maybe not so wonderful when she finds out about what I did to her brother” she rolls her eyes “ But do you remember Connor? The one time I had to activate my maternal instincts and almost got a child killed?"
"Right. The son that was actually Liam's half brother"
"Yes, that one" she nods.
"How long he's staying out?"
She shrugs. "He didn't give me the exact number. Maybe two or three weeks. Apparently Connor has been asking about him"
"That's cute. Liam trying to have a relationship with him. So his relationship with Connor's mother is good now, since she's letting him visit"
"I don't think she should have much of a choice considering what she did in the past" Fallon rolls her eyes and takes a sip of her now warm coffee. "You don't think she still has feelings for Liam, right?" She stops to face the man in front of her.
Sam frowns. "And how am I supposed to know that? I never had any contact with the woman"
"I don't know. You were the one that brought her up" Fallon exclaims, her coffee now forgotten.
He exhales deeply before facing her. "You, Miss Carrington are in need of big shot of self steam. This insecure behavior does not suit you at all" he points it out and she huffs.
"Yeah, I know that. I don't like this new Fallon either" she pouts.
Sam gets distracted checking his phone that just buzzed and Fallon gets annoyed.
"Why do I get the feeling that my pathetic love life is not being interesting enough to keep your attention on me?"
"Sorry" he apologizes, typing “I met someone after you fired your physical therapist. We’ve been texting for a few days now and things are looking good for me” He sings with a smug expression.
“Then I wish you good luck, something I’m clearly not having with my husband” she mutters and watches Sam smile at whatever he’s reading at his phone. "Don't you have any advice to give to me? Since you seem to be doing so good?"
"My, my... how the world had changed. You want me to tell you what to do?" Sam mocks
"Very funny" she replies sarcastic and Sam lifts his mimosa glass to toast to it. "I'm kind of desperate here. So what tricks are you using with this guy?"
He shrugs. “It’s not a big deal. He seems a little mysterious so I’m just trying to play his game. And I’m playing hard to get to make things more interesting. I waited a whole day to reply to his messages and rescheduled our second date, you know, using the absence makes the heart grow fonder tactic”
She shakes her head. “Oh no. I can’t use that because it was exactly absence that made us grow apart”
Sam tilts his head, watching her. "Fallon, I think you're just putting too much energy in this. I can literally see smoke coming out of your head, destroying that pretty hair of yours. Maybe you just need to take a step back. Let things happen naturally" he suggests.
"I don't have time for 'naturally' Sam" she yells, attacking attention from other people and Sam rolls his at eyes at her dramatics. "I'm running against time. As far as I'm concerned, Liam might be calling his lawyers right now and have the divorce papers ready by the time he's back in Atlanta. Do you have any idea what I'm dealing with here?"
"Yes, I do" he nods, leaning closer to her so his staff wouldn't hear their discussion "Did you forget my first trip to Paris? The one we had to track down Steven and I begged him to not get a divorce? Because this is the reason why we are having breakfast at my hotel"
"Sorry" she tells him embarrassed to make him bring Paris back. "It's okay. I just can't make myself go there again so I have to be creative for my next vacation"
"Well, since you're good about it" he huffs and Fallon chooses to ignore that "You could really help me, Sam. Now that you said, you are the perfect person to do it. You're basically Liam" she points out and he almost chokes on his drink.
"Oh my God, Fallon. Didn't you just hear what I said?"
"I did" she nods with a smile forming on her face "Again, that's why you're perfect for it. Just hear me out, okay? You and Liam are almost friends now so you know how he thinks. And Steven was completely unavailable for you at the beginning and then, he cheated on you with some guy. And we can take the 'addiction' out of the equation. But the essence is the same"
"I don't know. For some people, working has the same effect as drugs" he contemplates.
"I'm not a workaholic" she defends herself, her tone louder.
"I bet Liam and a lot of psychiatrists wouldn't agree with you" he mumbles through his teeth "Maybe you should go to Crystal for advice, after all she forgave Blake and her marriage is still intact. Not like mine as you can see"
"I'm asking you" she insists giving him a sweet look that didn't match her wicked smile.
"Fallon -" his sentence gets interrupted by the brunette, slapping the table hard, right next to his hand making him jump in his seat.
"Sam. Sammy" she tries again, this time squeezing his hand to try another approach. "Can't you see how desperate I am? I love him, I really do. And I messed up, big time. And even though he agreed to give me a second chance, I can feel him slipping through my hands every time we are apart or together. I really want my marriage to work and show him that things will be different but I guess words won't be enough this time. So please, if you have any idea on how to help me, please, please, tell me" Fallon begs.
Sam sighs, deciding to give in, never seeing his friend desolate like that. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Fallon”
“Anything, Sam. I’ll take anything. Literally, whatever comes out of your mouth, I’ll do” He stops for a minute, pondering his words.
"Look, I'm not an expert in this but I might have something for you” he starts and she leans forward, interested “I've read somewhere online that there are like five languages of love, you know, ways to show someone you love them. I think the first is acts of service, second is words of affirmation, third is giving and receiving gifts, forth is quality time and fifth, physical touch. If I had to guess, mine is the third one considering how I love expensive things, giving or receiving them, probably because I didn't have much growing up. Yours is physical touch, considering you just use sex for everything in your life and that's exactly how you ended up in this situation"
"Wow, Sam. Very subtle of you. Just remind me again, which side are you on? Because this pep talk is not doing it for me" she gestures between them, losing her patience.
He continues like she hasn't said a thing. "And Liam's I supposed is quality time. He likes to be near you, doing things with you by his side. And you just said that absence is what caused you two problems in the beginning"
"Among other things, yes" she mumbles
"So there it is, the answer you were looking for. Just be there for him, show him that you enjoy his presence just like he enjoys yours"
"But Liam and I were raised, basically in the same environment, raised by nannies, lot of money and we only had our own siblings to rely on. Why his language is different than mine?" She asks frowning and Sam huffs.
"I don't know, Fallon. I'm not a shrink" he sighs, rubbing his forehead "You asked me for an advice and I just gave you one. So do what I just said because the last time you and Liam were separated, I almost ended up in jail for breaking in dressed as the florist guy, while you sang for him through a phone call"
"Oh my God, Sam, I was not myself, okay?" She exclaims frustrated. "You say that like your usual self is so much better than that"
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Fallon knocks three times in a row on the wooden door and cracks a smile when she hears noise on the other side.
The door opens to reveal a confused Liam. “Fallon? Did we agree on anything for today?”
He looked sleepy, still wearing his sweatpants and no shirt on, and Fallon wonders if she interrupted his sleep. But right now, she doesn’t care if she did, after all, she had a goal to achieve.
“No, we didn’t” she sings cheerful and he frowns “But I was just thinking, wondering how long it has been since we did something together, so I came up with a solution”
She gestures to her pink gym clothes, while turning around to give him a full look. She was a vision in pink, her top and jacket matching her leggings and sneakers.
“What is this, Fallon?” he asks amused, crossing his arms.
“This, is my attempt to spend some time with you. I cleared my schedule for today and I know how you love to start your day with some exercise so I thought I could work out with you” she suggests with a smile and he laughs.
“Are you feeling alright? Because the Fallon Carrington I know hates exercise”
“She does, yes” Fallon nods, taking a step closer to him “But she can also make a sacrifice if it means spend more time with her husband”
“And you think this is a good idea?” he eyes the small distance between them.
“I do” she caress his wrist, coming closer so their faces are almost touching “You told me you were going away for a few days and we didn’t have much time together in these past weeks. I just want to have as much time with you as I can until you have to leave again” she pouts and he ponders for some seconds before closing his eyes, nodding.
“Fine, let’s do it” he concedes and she nearly shouts.
“Great. So get your things cause we’re hitting the gym as soon as you are ready”
“Actually” he starts, taking a step back “I changed my routine a little”
She frowns. “So no gym? That’s good because even though I was ready for it, I was not in the mood to get all sweaty. Yoga is so much better, right?” she says relieved.
“I now like to initiate my daily activities with a run in the park then, I move to the gym. I think the contact with the nature helps me clear my head for the day” he explains watching her reaction.
And the smile on her face is gone now. “Please, tell me you’re not serious”
“Unfortunately, I am” he chuckles “But don’t worry, you can skip the park and we meet in the gym in two or three hours?” he suggests, checking his phone.
“No!” she yells and he looks up “I’m going with you. The extra exercise will help me with my wound too. My physical therapist would love that” she gestures to the scar, covered by her pink pants but Liam can still see the shadow of it.
“Are you sure?” he asks skeptic but she nods with a convincing smile.
“Yes. Now go get ready “ she rushes him with her hand and mutters when he goes back inside to change “And may God helps us all”
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
And after an hour running around the park, Fallon decided she hates trees. Actually, she hates green. She despises it. Everything.
Her plan was not going how she expected. ‘Clear his head’ meant a running with no talking involved, meaning she barely exchanged a word with Liam during their exercise.
She was frustrated, sweaty and her wound was starting to bother her, more than Fallon would like to admit.
When Liam finally slows his steps, she actually thanks the heavens for whatever it made him want to stop.
He uses some bench next to them to start stretching and Fallon plasters a fake smile, hiding her annoyed face behind it, getting closer to him.
“Wow, it’s been so long since I’ve worked out as much as today” she starts excited and breathless, trying to mask how she was hating everything.
“Yeah, it’s really nice to start my day like this” he nods, turning to her “The nature helps to lower our stress levels”
“Oh yeah, I already feel less stressed” she replies with a smile, sure she had convinced.
He chuckles, shaking his head. “I’ve always wondered how you can be such a horrible liar sometimes”
She frowns, her heart beating faster after being caught in her lies. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”
“I can see you’re not enjoying this. At all” he laughs and she looks away “I know how you hate all of this. The nature, running, get sweat on your body. This is the Fallon I married, not this version you’re trying to be right now”
“That’s not true, at least not the last part. You know I’m not opposed to sweat, not in certain activities” she teases and he huffs.
“And I know you’re in pain. I bet your wound is bothering you at this moment, considering how you keep holding your belly” he says eyeing her right hand, which was indeed pressing her scar, hoping the pain would go away.
She nods. “I admit I thought this would be less painless than it was but it’s nothing I can’t handle”
He takes a step closer to her, replacing her hand by his. Liam lowers her leggings enough to see where Eva shot her, the scar still red, and he brushes with his thumb lightly. Fallon sees the way his eyes gets sadder and she stops his movements, even though she was enjoying his touch.
“Hey, I’m fine” she soothes him, watching him take a step back.
“No, you’re not. And you shouldn’t be doing this when you’re clearly not completely healed” he states, resting his hands on his hip “So care to explain why you are here, in pain, and not in your office?”
“I’ve told you, I wanted to spend some time with you”
He snorts. “And is there a reason why we couldn’t do this in some place quiet? Over lunch, maybe? So you wouldn’t be in pain right now”
“I just wanted to do something you like, engage with your hobbies, you know? I thought you would like that, to stay in your universe”
“Fallon, you don’t need to run a marathon so you can be closer to me” He starts sympathetic, taking one of her hands “We never did that before and we always managed to make things work” She knows how condescending he is at the moment.
He always showed up at her office, bringing her lunch or forcing her to go out so she could get some vitamin D.
He was always the one making an effort to be there for her, while Fallon couldn’t remember the last time she did that for him.
She leans forward, deciding not to speak her thoughts out loud. “I wanted to show you how much I enjoy your presence, even though I have to feel my lungs burning while doing it”
He laughs, rubbing his thumb on the back of her hand. “I get that part, but again, you don’t have to do this”
“I know, but I like working out too” she lies again.
“Oh, that’s a good thing because I still wanted to hit the gym before lunch” he says testing her and has to hold his laugh when her blue eyes get bigger.
“Really? Because I thought we could do some yoga, or something that doesn’t involve me feeling like I might faint at any minute. Or throw up”
He laughs loud this time and she huffs, noticing how he was playing her. “That was good” she gives in, letting go of him “Didn’t know you were considering becoming a comedian or you liked torturing your wife
“I’m sorry, but your face was priceless” he points his head to the exit “And you can come to yoga tomorrow, before my flight. Now, how about we do some light activity? One that doesn’t put you pain again, maybe lunch?” he suggests walking slowly so she can follow.
“I would like that very much, thank you” she says appreciating his change of plans. They keep quiet for a few minutes until Fallon sees a
little boy running on the corner of her right eye and remembers her other plan for today. “So, did you buy a ticket for California or you’re using your family’s jet?” She asks casually, still watching the kid while walking next to him.
“My mom said I could borrow it for tomorrow, so I’m taking the jet. Why?”
She brushes her left shoulder on his. “Do you think you could squeeze me in your little trip?”
He stops moving and shifts to stand in front of her, frowning. “You want to go to California? With me?”
She nods. “I thought I had made myself clear seconds ago” “But why? Do you have business there?”
“No, silly” she taps his chest playfully bit his expression doesn’t change “You’re going to California because of Connor, so am I. I miss the kid” she shrugs.
“Fallon, you didn’t like Connor. Or Heidi”
“That’s not true” she protests, crossing her arms “I mean, the Heidi part might be true but you’re wrong about Connor. I was starting to like him. I even helped you fight for custody when Heidi threatened to take him away from you. I admit the idea of becoming a step mother was not very appealing to me but he was changing my mind about it”
“Sorry” he apologizes rubbing his forehead “I’m not being fair to you right now”
“No, you aren’t” she agrees.
“But still, you never even mentioned him again. In fact, I made a comment a few months ago about visiting him and when I asked if you wanted to come along, you said no, remember?”
She doesn’t remember.
He probably made the invitation when she was to focused on something that wasn’t him and dismissed the idea with her hand, like she always does when she’s not interested.
Embarrassed, she lifts her chin higher, not showing it. “I was busy, but now I’m free to go. I told you I cleared my schedule to be with you”
“Yes, for a day. But I’m planning to stay two weeks there and you can’t walk away from Fallon Unlimited for so long” he counters.
At that exact second, Fallon remembers their fight on her bedroom. Not the one she realized how she had destroyed her relationship but the first one she saw Liam mad.
He was not her patient and loving husband. He was pissed and raised his voice at her, saying how everything seemed to be more important than him.
It was the first night they slept in separate bedrooms ever since they got married, while being in the same house together. And sleep might be a strong word considering she didn’t do any that night. She realized he was serious and wouldn’t be easy to forgive like he was in the past, so she spent her night trying to imagine how she could fix her marriage.
And now, months after that night, she still doesn’t have an answer.
But she was trying. That’s why she was willing to fight to another state with him, even if it meant to stay away from her company for fourteen days.
Fallon leans forward, resting her hands on his shoulders. “I know two weeks is a long time, but I can back away from work for a few days. And it might be good for us, to stay away from Atlanta and our problems” she speaks optimistic and he sighs.
“I think I get what is happening here”
“There’s nothing happening here” she gets defensive “I’m just trying to spend some time with my husband while visiting his half brother in an amazing city”
“Fallon”
“What?” She blurts out, losing her patience. She removes her hands from his shoulders, taking them to her hair to tight her ponytail.
“Why this sudden need to be with me in every step I take?”
Getting caught for the second time that day makes her give up the rest of her calm. “I’m just trying, Liam” she yells.
His expression gets softer and she continues.
“I spent every single second of my day thinking about you and our marriage and how can I fix it, and what we’re doing is clearly not taking us anywhere. So Sam gave me this idea, of being present, being with you. That’s why I submitted to a running in the park and a trip to another state. Because I’m just trying to show you how much I love you and how I want our marriage back” she whines in the end and her eyes start watering a little.
Seeing her distress makes Liam drops his facade, realizing what was really bothering her.
He lays his hands on her hip, slowly running circles on the skin free of fabric. “I know this won’t calm your heart but I’m gonna say it anyway. I love you, Fallon. And I know how you love me too. And I can see you’re committed to our marriage, you don’t need to run twenty miles to prove it me, okay?” She nods, looking down and holding her tongue. “I appreciate your company but you don’t need to do sacrifices for me”
“Couples do sacrifices all the time so they can make their relationship work. So I heard” she mutters.
“Rest assured you don’t need to make this kind of sacrifice again” he chuckles and she follows “And you don’t need to come to California with me. I know you don’t like it”
“It’s so hot” she mumbles nodding with a pout.
“If you want, you can FaceTime with Connor. No need to travel for that. Or meet Heidi again, I’m aware you don’t like her and I don’t think she’s fond of you either considering you got her arrested”
“Not my finest moment” she intervenes but he shakes his head.
“I disagree. I’ve never loved you more than when you broke the law for me” They laugh and she knows their dense conversation is over.
“There’s no need for you to be this insecure about me or our relationship. I fell in love with Fallon Carrington, not a version of her” he brushes a kiss on her cheek and she loves the feeling of his beard scratching her skin “And if you desire, I can call you everyday and tell you about my day” she makes a grimace and he chuckles “In every two days?”
“We have a deal, Mr Ridley. And I want texts included too”
“Fine by me. Now can we finally move to that lunch? I’m starving”
They walk out of the park, holding hands and even though Fallon didn’t accomplish anything she had planned for today, she moves happily, feeling like she just signed the biggest contract of her life.
Liam kept his part of the promise, and if anyone asks, Fallon will never admit how anxious she got, waiting for her phone to ring or how she lost her patience and started calling him whenever he didn’t, following her orders.
It felt like she was a teenager again, even though they were married to each other. But who cares? They never did things in a conventional way, so why would they start now?
I run away when things are good
And never really understood
The way you laid your eyes on me
In ways that no one ever could
And so it seems I broke your heart
My ignorance has struck again
I failed to see it from the start
And tore you open 'til the end
Notes:
Hello everyone!
I just wanted to thank everyone that reads this story and leaves a comment or a kudos, you guys are the best!
Tell me what you think! I love reading your thoughts and theories!
See you next chapter!
Chapter 4: Happy Home
Notes:
Hello everyone!
This, and the next chapter, were supposed to be one but I had to split them in two, or else they would be too long and tiring to read.
I have some warnings about this chapter. I don't agree with Alexis's suggestion here, but I do think this is something she would do, that's why I wrote it.
See you down there
This one is based on Happy Home by X Ambassadors
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
You got me going through a mid-life crisis
Even before I even hit my mid-life crisis
I never thought that we would end up like this
A fairy-tale gone wrong
Oh-oh-oh, how could we? How could we?
How could we stray so far?
How could we? How could we?
How could we wreck this happy home?
“I’ve come bearing gifts” Alexis sings in a cheer tone, walking inside Fallon's office and the brunette hides her face in her hands, hoping a hole in the ground opens and swallow her right away. “And by gifts, I mean your lunch. I stopped by the manor earlier and I was told you were already back at work”
“It’s been three months, Alexis. I have a company to run, can’t stay in bed all day, licking my wounds forever”
“Well, we can both agree on that” she puts the bag from Fallon’s favorite restaurant on her table and starts unpacking “But at least, you’ve got to eat and I thought we could spend some mother and daughter quality time”
“Don't you have a meeting with your lawyers so you can stay out of jail? You know that orange is not really your color” Fallon asks sarcastic.
Alexis grins, not letting the snide remark affect her good humor. “They are being well paid to do that without my presence. Besides, this will go away, just like happened with Blake, but only this time, I’m actually innocent. And I wanted to spend some time with my beloved daughter” Alexis shrugs after she finishes her task and the bag, once filled with food, is now empty.
Fallon groans at the minute she can smells the food, shaking her head vehemently and regretting it right away, feeling the migraine that has been keeping her company ever since she woke up that morning.
“Please, take that thing away from me. More like now” she demands feeling the nausea she felt that morning coming back.
“Why? I brought your favorite” Alexis frowns, checking if the waiter got her order right.
“Alexis, if you don’t throw this away at this very second, I think I might be sick” Fallon warns her and the blonde follows her orders.
“Please don’t tell me you’re pregnant” she pleads putting the food back inside.
Fallon groans, rubbing her forehead. "More like a hangover"
Last night was not a good one for Fallon. She got bored and thought it was a good idea to look at some old photos of her and Liam. Now she knows that it was not a good idea.
"Already? I thought you were still on medication" Alexis says sitting on the opposite chair, the table between them.
"My doctor said I could stop taking those if I was feeling alright, which I am but just not right now. They make me fuzzy and sleepy all day, and I have to work"
"So, just to be sure... no baby?" Alexis asks watching carefully the brunette in front of her and Fallon grunts.
"God, no. Liam and I are still trying to make our marriage work, me showing up with a kid would only make things worse" Fallon leans back on her leather chair, taking deep breaths so the nausea would go away.
"I don't know about that... sometimes a baby can be the missing piece for a couple to finally find their way back to each other"
Fallon frowns. "Says who? Every gold digger trying lock the man they want by their sides for the rest of their lives?"
"Mock all you want but it worked for me and your father" the blonde crosses her legs smug.
"Oh yeah, sometimes I forget that you slept with Anders right under Blake's nose, then you let him think Steven was his" Fallon sings sarcastic after the nausea subsides.
"I'm not talking about Steven. I mean, yes, my marriage was falling apart after Adam's kidnapping and Steven brought Blake and I together. But I meant you" she stress the last word and Fallon rolls her eyes.
"So you got pregnant of me so you could save your marriage? I was a means to an end for you even before I was born? Unbelievable" she shakes her head, slowly this time so her headache wouldn't get worse.
"When you put it like that it makes me sound like an awful mother" Fallon arches a brow at her and Alexis sighs. "What I'm saying is that Blake and I were doomed from the beginning but I still tried my best. And after Steven, we just started fighting non stop and the only time when weren't screaming at each other was when we were in bed"
"This is just disgusting. I don't need the details, I'm already traumatized for life" Fallon dismisses her with her right hand, the left supporting her head.
"Don't be such a child, you know how you were conceived” Alexis reprimands her “Anyway, it worked like a charm me getting pregnant last time, so I figured I could try again. But the lightning doesn't strike twice at the same place so we got you, which put me and him on a honeymoon phase for a while but he continued to cheat on me with Carrington Atlantic and those mistresses of him. And eventually, I found comfort in someone else's arms. Not Anders this time, I promise"
"Thank God for that" Fallon murmurs.
Alexis rolls her eyes. "My point is, maybe a child, half you, half him, might be the solution you're looking for"
Fallon frowns. "But Liam doesn't want to have children. He was specifically imperative about it with me. Abundantly clear. We actually got in to a fight about it, because apparently I should've asked him about kids before planning our life ahead of us" she rolls her eyes.
"Blake didn't want it either when we got married. He wanted to travel around the world and thought it would get in his way somehow" Alexis shrugs.
"That's funny, considering he never showed up to anything for me or Steven's childhood. Nannies did"
"Let me just say Blake always had a thing for nannies too" Fallon groans and Alexis sits straight "What I'm saying is that Liam doesn't have to agree to anything. You're still on the pill, right?"
"Ever since my fourth nanny took me to my first appointment at my gynecologist at 13" Fallon agrees nodding.
"And your body is finally healed?"
"My doctor gave me the green card to resume to my usual activities, so let's just say yes"
"Do you wear condoms?"
"Oh my God Alexis" Fallon exclaims, too shocked with her mother’s lack of shame.
"Just answers the damn question" Alexis rolls her eyes.
"No, we don't" Fallon concedes.
"That's great. Everyone knows that no contraceptive method is completely efficient. So, imagine if your pills don’t work the way they should and you get pregnant. It would be an accident and it wouldn't be your fault" the blonde proposes with a wicked smile on her face.
"This just sounds wrong. No, let me rephrase that. It is wrong" Fallon shakes her head "He had a child hidden from him before and that didn’t go well. And I already did things without consulting him first and he didn't enjoy me doing it. And those were small things. Now imagine me stealing his sperm without him knowing. This is a whole new level of crazy, even for me"
"That's not stealing, Fallon. You're his wife, for God's sake"
"Yes, it is, Alexis" she sighs, rubbing her forehead, feeling her headache coming back. "I don't like this. He should have a say in this. After all, it will be his kid too. His life"
Her mother groans. "Just throw these damn pills down the toilet, Fallon. Flush them away and get your husband back" Alexis demands and Fallon suddenly feels like a child again, when Alexis told her to return her diamonds earrings back to her closet before midnight when Fallon stole them to go to a party in high school with Monica.
Fallon leans on her leather chair, pondering her next words. "Okay, let me entertain this thought of yours, even though it is completely wrong. For you to become a grandmother" Alexis grimaces at the name "me and Liam would have to have sex for me to conceive. Which is not happening any time soon, apparently... It's been awhile" she says embarrassed, confessing her celibacy that started after she got shot.
Alexis gasps. "So you're telling me that you and your husband hadn’t been having sex for more than three months?"
"I will not give you the details but yeah, you almost got it right" Fallon mutters.
"Are you serious? This is why you're having trouble in your marriage" Alexis snorts and Fallon loses her calm.
"I'm currently having trouble in my marriage because I chose my work over Liam, multiple times, then cheated on him on the first opportunity I got" Fallon mumbles, focusing on the details of her engagement ring, staring at the peach diamond, too embarrassed to look up.
"Well, no one can't deny you have Blake's genes. The DNA is completely his"
“You cheated on him too” the brunette frowns, accusing her.
“Yeah, but at least I did after I found out about his first affair. But just so you won’t get so defensive about Blake, let’s just say you got both of our DNAs. Maybe a damn gene that leads us both to be unfaithful to our partners”
Fallon looks up with a wry smile. "I thought you were here to cheer me up"
"I am, and thanks to me, you already know what to do" Alexis sends her a smug smile.
Fallon shakes her head. "I don't know. Liam will hate me if he finds out about this. I'm serious, I'm on a very thin line here and I don't know if we can come back from this"
"And I'm throwing you a lifeline, Fallon. And Liam doesn't have to know about anything"
"Fine" Fallon concedes, supporting her elbows on her desk, her face closer to Alexis's "I stop taking my pills today and have Liam attached to my bed like my sex slave until I conceive. There's no guarantee he'll stay with me after that"
"I know Liam, he has a good heart. Trust me, as soon as he sees his baby, he will fall in love with the idea of being a father. Just like Blake did" Alexis tries to convince her, remembering a happy time in her life, when she first told Blake she was pregnant with Adam.
"So I have to wait 9 months to know if this plan of yours will work? Great. That’s just... great"
"Fine. Let's be more positive. On your first sonogram. He won't be able to resist after hearing the heartbeat. It's a foolproof plan and the most adorable sound you will ever hear" Alexis tell her with a arched brow, waiting for her next argument.
"I'm still not convinced. And why should I take any advice from you? A woman with two failed marriages?" Fallon points out and Alexis huffs.
"Do you have any other option? Because from where I stand, you are seconds away from signing your divorce. And this time you can mark my words, since as you just said, I have two failed marriages, I know how things work. So unless you do something about it, you're about to lose the man you love and first husband's are always the hardest to forget. Trust me"
She sees the young brunette in front of her biting her lips, clearly shaken with what she just heard, so she decides another approach.
Alexis puts her hand on top of Fallon’s, right on top of her diamond ring. "I know we weren't close when you were younger but motherhood had always been in your plans, this I know. Now, just think, picture the scene. You and Liam, living happily ever after, with a beautiful baby boy or baby girl in your arms, and maybe some dogs. You always loved Bo when you were little. And a baby with those genes... it would be the most gorgeous child I have ever seen" Alexis sings and Fallon lets the thought fills her mind. "I can see it and it's an adorable vision in my head"
Alexis gets up after realizing the seed has already been planted. She leaves the food on the table, not staying to eat with her daughter, and knows it's just a matter of time until Fallon comes to tell her the good news.
“And children or no children, go have sex with your husband” Alexis yells on her way out and the brunette rolls her eyes, only hoping her employees didn’t hear about her sex life.
As soon as she sees her mother leaving her office, Fallon picks up her phone to make a call.
"Sam? Stops whatever you're doing. We're going shopping" and hungs up, standing up with a goal in mind.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Later that day, filled with shopping bags in each arm, Fallon and Sam make their last stop of the day, at La Perla.
They are browsing through the world of black lingerie when Fallon sees a pregnant woman walking inside the store, probably checking if La Perla had maternity clothes her size. And suddenly the brunette remembers why they are here.
Glancing away from the pregnant lady, she turns to Sam, ignoring the bra in his hand, even though he was waving the piece I front of her to get her attention.
“Sam, do you think I would look good fat?” Fallon blurts out and Sam frowns, not getting where that was coming from.
“I feel like this is a trap” he murmurs, taking a step away from her.
“It’s just a question. A silly question” she dismisses, taking the bra from his hand, analyzing it.
“Then why are you asking me? Is this why you brought me to La Perla?” he questions annoyed he fell for another one of her schemes.
“Can you just answer me?” she pleads, putting the bra back where it was “Do you think I would look good fat? No, no. Let me try again. Not fat, but with a belly the size of a watermelon?” She finishes glancing back to the pregnant lady, then to him and Sam gasps.
“Oh my God? Are you pregnant? Does this mean you and Liam are good again?” Sam asks excited and Fallon huffs.
“This is the second time someone asks me that today. Do I look pregnant to you?” She asks raising her tone and his happiness goes away.
“You look amazing” he says trying to bright her humor but her annoyed face shows he didn’t succeed.
“What does that even mean?”
“It means I’m lost here and I don’t know what my next action should be” he sighs, putting his own shopping bags on the floor to watch her carefully “Care to explain to me what is going on? Because you are usually crazy, but not this crazy”
Fallon exhales audibly, mimicking Sam with her bags, and crossing her arms, clearly uncomfortable.
“Alexis stopped by my office today and gave me some advice on how to save my marriage”
“Oh, no... I don’t like where this is going. And what that woman knows about making marriages work?”
“That’s what I said but she had good points, and advices” she shrugs.
“Like what? Cast a spell on Liam? Steal his hair or clothing and give to a witch she’s friend with?” he mocks and Fallon sighs.
“More like stealing his sperm” Fallon murmurs and Sam’s eyes get wide.
“What?” he yells attracting attention to them and Fallon shushes him.
“Would you tone it down?” She pleads coming closer to him.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t just expecting to hear that” he apologizes sarcastic and she huffs.
“Look, it’s not what you’re thinking, okay? Alexis just mentioned how a baby can unite a couple. It did with her and Blake more than once”
“And they still got a divorce” Sam interrupts her in a hush tone but she continues anyway.
“Yes, but it bought her more time. And that’s what I need with Liam now. Time” she stresses the word and he shakes his head, not believing her words.
“So, do you honestly believe a child can help you right now?”
“I don’t have much of a choice here, Sam” she says frustrated, biting her lower lip, looking around to disguise her desperation. “Nothing has changed since my last attempt and I’m scared, okay? I thought this would be over right now and it’s not. So maybe Alexis is not completely wrong. Maybe a baby can be what’s missing in our relationship”
“Fallon, honey, pay attention to me” Sam starts, rubbing his hands up and down her arms and she decides to ignore the pet name, looking at him. “I can agree that babies are always a blessing, but getting one on purpose just to save your marriage doesn’t seem a little extreme for you? Look at my history” he points out letting her go “My marriage was basically over and I still thought that adopt BJ was a good idea, that Steven would fall in love with the idea of being a father and would come back to me. And guess what? He didn’t”
“That was different. You were trying to adopt a kid that wasn’t even for adoption” she tries to change his mind but he doesn’t concedes.
“At that time we didn’t know that, okay? But that’s not the point. The point is, you can’t do this. You can’t put that weight on someone who’s not even born yet. Too much responsibility for a tiny human being” he argues feeling tired already “What does Liam think about it? He agrees that now is a good time to become a parent?”
Now Fallon is the one to take a step back. “He doesn’t know about this. And wouldn’t be aware of this until I got pregnant” she answers embarrassed, looking down to her peach diamond ring instead of facing Sam.
“Oh my God, Fallon” he exclaims for the second time that day and the brunette can actually feel her face get red.
“It would be a surprise” she tries again and he snorts. “You just said that babies are a blessing” she justifies gesturing with her hands.
“It’s really incredible how you can distort my words when it’s convenient for you” he sighs “What I’m trying to say is that no one should be responsible for your marriage, except you and Liam. It’s a burden too big for a kid. And you don’t think Liam should have a say in this?”
“Last time we talked about kids he said he didn’t want them. But his perspective might have changed after having Connor calling him ‘dad’. He even tried to fight for custody”
Sam narrows his eyes. “So what you’re saying is that you are trying to have a kid with a guy that doesn’t want kids? With him completely unaware of what you are trying to do? Does that sound like a good idea in your mind? Something a sane person would do? Or something completely wrong to do?”
“I’m saying is that he might not think like that still. He changed his mind before, he can change it again. It’s possible” she argues and Sam realizes there’s no point trying to convince her otherwise.
Her eyes go back to pregnant lady again, and this time, Sam follows her gaze, watching her glance at her big belly with a warm look.
“Fallon, do you even want this kid? Or are you just trying to get back with Liam?” he asks softer when she turns to him again.
“Honestly?” he nods and she exhales “I’ve always wanted kids. Especially when my house got too quiet, with Blake at work, Alexis shopping or with her friends, and Steven out doing things only he thought interesting. I have been always surrounded by people but at the same time, I felt lonely. And at those moments, I would create a future in my head, one with a beautiful house, a successful job, a loving husband and a bunch of kids, because that’s what movies teach you of what happiness means. And honestly, I still think like that. At least, some part of it”
“It’s a beautiful vision. But it doesn’t sound like you” he adds, tilting his head to watch her sad blue eyes.
“No, it doesn’t” she agrees nodding “And that’s because, even though I wanted that, deep down I knew I wouldn’t get it. I saw my parents destroy each other and somehow I thought I was doomed to the same fate, so I just got used to being the person I am now. The successful career was the only thing I knew I could get it and it would finally get Blake to look at me with respect. So I did everything I could to achieve it, I was good at it. And I did, I finally got where I always wanted to get. And I never thought someone could really love me the way I am. But Liam showed up” she shrugs, her eyes watering and her voice failing a little.
Sam understands exactly the feeling Fallon was talking about. He, just like her, grew up in a broken family and believed his fate was to be just like them. So he never stayed, or dedicated himself to anything important. After all, he would fail just like his mother did. But then, Steven appeared, and with him, a will to do more than just survive in the way he was surviving.
“Fallon...” he starts but she stops him.
“I know that maybe my methods are not the most conventional ones, but this is me trying, Sam” she pleads and stops to wipe her eyes with the back of her hand. “I want a family with him. I always did. I was willing to fight for custody when Connor’s mother threatened to take him away. I fought for a kid that wasn’t even mine because I knew he would be part of our family. Maybe the start of our family. So now, can you imagine how hard I would fight for my own kid?”
“I prefer not” he murmurs but Fallon doesn’t listen.
“I want this baby, Sam. I want to have Liam’s baby. And even if Alexis’s idea doesn’t work out, he doesn’t come back to me, or even hate me, at least I’ll have part of my dream come true” she ends in a affirmative tone and Sam takes a deep breath, understanding she has decided there was nothing else he could say or do to change her mind.
“Well,” he starts “You have clearly made your mind and who am I to stop the arrival of a new Carrington to this crazy world?”
Fallon’s facial expression changes right away, noticing she finally had Sam at her side. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, I am. Even though I don’t agree with the part of him not knowing about your plans. A baby with yours and Liam’s genes would be a really cute baby” he concedes and she nods excitedly.
“The cutest” she agrees with a smile and he chuckles with her excitement.
“You should better start looking for therapists because with a family like ours... you should have someone on call just to be certain” she rolls her blue eyes at him and he turns to the lingeries around them. “So, you brought me here just so you could cry at La Perla?”
“Funny, but no” she resumes her previous activities, this time, picking a pair of panties that she knows it would be very uncomfortable but would get it’s job done. “As you aware, Liam and I need to have sex for me to conceive –“
“Wait, you’re telling me you two still didn’t have sex?” Sam asks in a hushed tone and she gives him a glare.
“I told you to keep your voice down. And no, we haven’t ”
“Sorry” he lifts his hands as a surrender “I never thought Fallon Carrington could go so long without sex”
“Yeah, well, me neither. That’s why we’re here. You are going to help me pick some pieces that will end this unwanted celibacy” she turns to him with an arched brow. “Now, I trust your good taste and if you think it will make Liam’s head go wild, you pick it. I don’t care how expensive or uncomfortable it will be, I will take it home with me” she warns him and he nods.
Sam frowns, a little bit scared. “You’re not going to conceive Liam Jr tonight, right?”
“No, Sam, I won’t” she replies annoyed with his curiosity, not bothering to face him. “Did you not pay attention to your biology classes at school? This will probably take longer than just one night, but if I plan to have this baby soon, I need to take down the wall between us” she stops her browsing for a minute, looking up “And it might be a little Fallon... Can you imagine, Sam? A little me, wearing cute little dresses, just bossing everyone around, just like me?”
“I don’t think I can handle another Fallon Carrington in my life” she glares at him but he doesn’t notice “I think I’m going to be the one needing that therapist after all”
“I don’t remember telling you to stay put like that. Start working” she bosses and he chuckles.
“Yes, mam” he replies and she starts to walk away “And Fallon” he calls her name before they start their search and she looks up “You’re going to be an amazing mother”
Clearly not expecting that, she sends him a smile, appreciating his complement.
“Thanks” she responds softly then tilts her head to the red lingerie next to his face “Now, back to work. I need a good pair for tonight if I want things to move fast. And if we’re lucky, I’ll be buying cute onesies at Gucci in our next shopping sprees. And if we’re not, I might have to actually steal Liam’s sperm and you’re not going to like my plan” She warns him and Sam groans, going back to his task, hoping for Fallon’s success, or else, he was really going to need that therapist.
Notes:
I just want to make some things clear so bear with me just a little, okay?
Again, I don't agree with Alexis’s suggestion, and I do think is totally wrong to do something like that. But again, this is something that is not out of character for her. Alexis is manipulative and we saw, many times on the show, that she doesn’t care about anyone else besides her.
And about Fallon: she's a strong woman but she tends to listen to some bad voices, in or out, of her head, especially when desperate, which she is right now. So basically, she knows that following Alexis’s advice will do her no good, besides being completely wrong, but she will do it anyway. Fallon has many flaws and she acts impulsively on them, but in the end of the day, she realizes what she's doing and does what is right. And that is a spoiler for the next chapter.
I saw some promotional pictures of the new episodes but I'm not watching them next week so please, no spoilers.
And again, I just wanted to thank everyone that leaves a comment or kudos, you guys are the best!
Tell me your thoughts about this chapter
I love reading your comments!
See you next chapter!
Chapter 5: Lost Without You
Notes:
Hello everyone
Saw (accidentally) some photos from season 5 and from what I gathered, Falliam is still alive and good.
But in this story, it will still take some time for them to be together for good, again. So just bear with me and I hope you like some drama, because this chapter is just filled with it.
This chapter is based on Lost Without You by Freya Ridings
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Strangers rushing past
Just trying to get home
But you were the only
Safehaven that I've known
Hits me at full speed
Feel like I can't breathe
And nobody knows
This pain inside me
My world is crumbling
I should never have
Let you go
Fallon taps her right foot impatiently while waiting for the elevator to arrive. To her left, she hears someone clear their throat. At her side eye, she can see Culhane looking up and down at her.
“What?” she asks annoyed with him.
He shakes his head. “Nothing. I’m just wondering if it’s Halloween already” he shrugs.
“I don’t know what you mean” she replies in a tone that doesn’t leave space to arguments but he eyes the basket she’s caring next to her ribs, full of expensive chocolates and candy, a bottle of wine and a bowl of popcorn.
“I’m sorry, it’s just that the only time of the year I see people with baskets filled with chocolates is on Halloween”
She exhales, clearly irked, turning to him. “This dress looks like a costume to you?” she gestures to her Dolce Gabanna dress.
He analyzes her black slip dress, hugging every curve in her body, stopping near her knees and leaving little to imagination. “I don’t know. I thought that maybe you were trying an Angelina Jolie kind of vibe, in the Mr. & Mrs. Smith? Or a bond girl” he guesses tilting his head and she turns back to the elevator, wondering how long would it takes to arrive.
“What are you doing here anyway?” She questions changing the subject and he pretends he doesn’t notice.
“I live here”
She shakes her head. “You’re a billionaire, just go buy yourself a house”
“Says the person that still lives at her father’s house. The question is, what are you doing here? Because I know Sam left with Kirby an hour ago to some party”
Fallon stays quiet, not wanting to reveal her reasons, embarrassed to tell them to her ex fiancée but at this point, she was past the point of hiding her shame.
She turns to him again, cracking up a wry smile. “I’m here to try to win my husband back. Are you satisfied now?”
“Oh, now I get it” he nods “Except for the basket part” he points it out.
She sighs, shifting again, not in the mood to face him anymore. “That’s not up for you to get it, so don’t even try”
They stay in silence for a few seconds before Fallon blurts out. “Aren’t you happy we didn’t get married?” She asks holding the basket tightly.
It’s been awhile but Culhane still can tell when Fallon is not okay, and that moment was one of those. Her tone and her voice gave her sadness away and he knew that was not the time for jokes.
“Fallon” he calls and she moves her head slightly to her left, letting him know he had her attention “I don’t know exactly what happened, but just let time do it’s thing. I’m certain that soon enough he will be back to you”
“I messed up. How can you be sure of that?” She asks insecure and he smiles.
“You’re Fallon Carrington. You always get what you want” he replies confident but she shakes her head.
“Not always” she argues.
“Maybe not” he agrees nodding “But you never back down. You never give up. It’s in your DNA. Good luck up there. Not that you need it” he adds walking away when the elevator comes and she enters, feeling a little more confident than she was feeling before.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
She knocks three times at the door, trying to balance the heavy basket while doing it and shakes her head, trying to make her hair look perfect without moving her hands.
Seconds later the door opens, revealing a confused Liam on the other side, wearing his Duke sweatshirt, the one Fallon always hated but now misses.
“Fallon?” he asks frowning, standing on the way to his room.
“Hey stranger” she greets giving him a nervous smile.
“What are you doing here?”
She ignores his confused look. “Well, you’ve been MIA since you returned from your last trip so I thought about stopping by. And I’ve brought you some things that might cheer you up” she gestures for the basket, lowering it a bit so it could show her cleavage and lifts her chin a little higher when she notices his eyes going directly to where she wanted them to. “Can I come in?” She asks in lower tone, much more confident of her actions.
He gulps down, finally looking up. “Sure”
He lets her in, and she walks inside, noticing his tidy room, except for the coffee table that had his open laptop and a stack of papers. She puts the basket on the couch and leans over to try to read what was on those.
“What is this? Research for a new book?”
He rushes to pick everything up and put them inside a folder she missed. “Sort of”
“Humm, can I see it?” She questions remembering how much he liked her reading his previous works and the notes she would leave to him.
“Actually, this could probably be nothing. It’s not worth it” he dismisses, putting the folder away and closing his laptop.
“Can I at least know what is it about?” She tries again, watching him take everything to the drawer in his bedside table.
He shifts to her, scratching the back of his neck. “I don’t want to jinx it” he says embarrassed of saying no to her and Fallon manages to hide how much it stinged his rejection, realizing how he was clearly trying to hide his things from her.
“I was done for the day, anyway” he tries to light up the mood and she gives him a tentative smile.
“Well, that’s great because I have made plans for tonight. For both of us” she specifies before he can throw her away.
“Plans? Fallon, I’m a little tired. I’m not in the mood to go out”
“Good thing we are not leaving this room then” she sits carefully on the couch, crossing her legs and checking if his eyes were following her movements. And she couldn’t contain her hope when she noticed they were in indeed on her. “Remember when we first met and you kept talking about Julia Roberts?”
“I’m not sure things happened exactly like that” he mumbles, crossing his arms.
“Yes, they did. I bet you had a crush on her when you were younger” she teases and he chuckles.
“I can’t confirm or deny that”
“I knew it” she sings smug “Good thing I’m not jealous because I planned a marathon of Julia Roberts’s movies for us tonight”
He widens his eyes, not believing her. “Are you serious? This is not your kind of thing. You get bored at movies”
“Yeah, I’m dead serious. We are starting with Notting Hill, moving to My Best’s Friend Wedding and I’m letting you choose between Pretty Woman and Runaway Bride”
He laughs. “Oh my God. You are serious”
“I’ve told you I had everything planned. I even asked Mrs Gunnerson to prepare us this basket, filled with everything I shouldn’t be eating, or you if you want to keep those abs, so we could have a calm and comfortable night”
“Comfortable? With that dress?” he asks ironically and she’s beyond thrilled that he’s paying attention to her choice of clothing.
“Oh, this old thing? I was in a rush, barely had time to change” They both know she’s lying.
Liam knows exactly how much time she needs in the morning to decide what she wants to wear for the day. And he also knows her dresses, especially the ones he loves to see her wearing or stripping it, only for him. He knows the dress is brand new but he decides to let it go.
“I can give you something else to wear” he suggests.
“No!” she almost shouts, standing up to block his way and Liam realizes her own little plan with that black dress.
He holds his grin, deciding to let her stay the way she was to see where things would go.
“Fine” he lifts his hands a surrender “Can I move to at least take the blanket? You might get cold later”
She nods, taking a step aside to free his way. When he returns, she already turned the TV on, setting it on Netflix and is getting cozy on the couch.
He lays the blanket and she makes a grimace when it covers her legs. He moves the basket to the coffee table, removing the items and seating next to her.
“You even brought wine” he muses, checking the bottle.
“I’ve told you I came prepared”
“Let me get the glasses” she grabs his arm, preventing him of getting up.
“Leave the wine for later. Right now, I just want to watch a movie with you” she pleads and he concedes, leaning back the couch.
She presses play and Elvis Costelo’s voice fills the room. She slips a little closer, laying her head on his shoulder, sighing happily. She smells his cologne and closes her eyes for a few seconds, finally at peace.
By the time Anna Scott stands in front of Will, asking him to love her, her head is on his chest and her legs on top of his. His arms are around her and the blanket is covering both of their bodies.
When George is singing ‘I Say a Little Prayer for You’ at the restaurant and Kimmy’s whole family sings along, they run out of popcorn.
Their sugar levels are reaching the sky when Julliane finally kisses Michael. Liam’s hand is running circles on her naked back and Fallon fights her sleep, aware that the time of action was near.
When their second movie ends, Liam takes the remote to select Runaway Bride but Fallon stops him.
“Why Runaway Bride? I thought you were going with Pretty Woman” she frowns.
“I thought I could choose the last one” he chuckles.
“Yeah, you can” she nods, pushing away to face him “I just imagined you would choose to watch Julia Roberts in lingerie, instead of a wedding dress”
“Do you want me to watch her in lingerie?” he asks confused, narrowing his eyes at her.
“No” she pouts, crossing her arms and staring the TV and not him. He sighs.
“Fallon, do you want to watch Pretty Woman?” She nods, taking a sip of her wine.
“Okay, then Pretty Woman it is”
When Edward’s worried face appears on the TV and she’s back to his chest, he speaks, his voice muffled by her hair.
“If you wanted to watch Richard Gere, he did Runaway Bride too”
She rolls her eyes. “I agree he’s good looking but if I wanted an eye candy, all I have to do is look at you” he laughs out loud, her head moving with his chest “Sam told me this is his favorite movie and the clothes are to die for”
Pretty Woman is not Sam’s favorite movie. The clothes are indeed something she would wear if the year was 1990. But they weren’t the reasons she chose the movie.
On the first sex scene, Fallon’s tiredness disappear to let the tension get it’s place. While Vivian starts unbuttoning Edward’s shirt, still watching I Love Lucy on the TV screen, Fallon pays attention to her husband but decides to wait a little longer to act.
But later, when Vivian finds Edward playing the piano all alone, she knows she can’t wait any longer.
Her heart is beating fast and she has to rub her hands on her dress to clean the sweat. She doesn’t know why she’s so nervous. It’s just Liam. It’s just her husband. He’s not a stranger. And it’s not her first time having sex, on contrary, she’s quite the expert about it.
She gulps down, deciding not to dwell on her nervousness, and start rubbing Liam’s chest with her free hand.
“I feel like I’m having a deja vu here” she mumbles, still watching the scene.
“Huh?”
“Can you honestly tell me this scene doesn’t bring you any memories?” She moves her head a little to watch him instead, her breath tickling his neck.
“I don’t think so” he replies, his eyes focused on the screen but when his hands stops rubbing circles oh her back, she knows he’s lying.
“So you’re telling me you don’t remember when we had our own version of that piano sex scene? Because I can tell ours looked so much better than that” she teases, moving her fingers up, so she can finally touch his skin.
“Oh... that night”
“Yeah, that night” she nods.
They both know what night she’s talking about. It was after they got married and she had just agreed to finally go to their honeymoon. They went to bed early, with the promise that on the next day, they would get the jet and leave for the Maldives and don’t look back.
But unfortunately, Fallon wasn’t feeling that confident. Yes, she told him she would try, but that was easier said than done. In their bed, she kept turning and turning, unable to close her eyes and sleep, the anxiety of leaving her home taking away her peace.
So she got out of bed quietly, and decided to move to the piano. And that’s where Liam found her, half an hour later, humming to some song she and Steven used to sing when they were little.
He sat next to her. She told him a story about when Steven sang to her when she was little and scared, a storm ranging up outside, and he laid down with her in her bed and sang until she fell sleep. Music always worked like a medicine for her.
At the end, Liam wraps his arm around her frame, saying he wished he had a nice voice so he could sing to her but she dismisses, saying his company is enough to calm her down.
The moment was sweet, until she kisses him and things heat up pretty fast, with them having sex on top of the piano, without caring if any staff or family member could show up.
It was not the most comfortable sex they had but it was the memory she wished she could live on it. And that was the weapon she was using tonight.
She shifts even closer, almost seating on his lap, and her mouth is next to his ear.
“Do you remember how loud we were that night?” She whispers, the movie long forgotten for both of them.
“I’m pretty sure the staff heard us that night” he let’s a short laugh escape his mouth.
“Even if they didn’t, we made a big mess on the piano. Anyone could’ve have guessed what happened in there”
She can see him closing his eyes, and she holds back a celebratory grin, aware she got him right where she wanted.
“We were pretty good together, don’t you agree?” she nips his earlobe, then let her teeth scratch it, lightly.
“Fallon...” he starts and before he can refuse her, she starts peppering light kisses on his neck.
“Don’t you miss us? Because I do. You don’t have any idea how much I miss you”
He doesn’t speak but the hand that was on her back moves down, and the other goes to the back of her knee, pulling her closer to him.
“Do you miss me, Liam?” She stops lifting her head to wait for his answer and he opens his eyes.
“Do you seriously have to ask me that? What do you think, Fallon?” he asks defeated and his breath is uneven.
She takes the opportunity to straddle him, seating next to where she wanted but not moving yet. His hands goes to her thighs, lifting her dress a little. She cups his face, forcing him to stare directly at her.
“This is not an answer, Liam” she warns, tilting her head to suck at his pulse point and his hands grips her thighs tighter. “Do you miss me?”
He nods and she continues with her mouth on his neck.
“Do you miss me in our bed?” he nods “Do you miss me stripping for you?” he nods again “Do you miss me doing things with my mouth that make you forget your name? Or do you miss me moaning your name while riding you and let you come inside of me?”
By the time she finishes, she already gave him a hickey and is sure his fingerprints are all over her thighs.
She backs away, her face so close to his she can feel his breath. “Do you miss me, Liam?” She repeats her question, whispering and he shakes his head.
“You have no idea” he replies, grabbing her face and pulling it to him.
When they finally kiss, is like everything is back to it’s place. His mouth is still warm and his lips are still soft, but the aggressive way his teeth bite her lower lip, makes her moan loudly.
His hand grips her hair with force, breaking away their kiss to suck at her neck, just like she did before. His other arm brings her closer and the movement makes them both groan.
“You know I hate when you leave marks” she tries to speak, breathless, when her conscience comes back to her body.
“No, you don’t” he replies and she rolls her eyes, because he’s right. She doesn’t. She actually likes looking in the mirror and remembering what exactly led her to acquire that purple spot on her neck. But it wasn’t professional of her to show up with a hickey for a meeting and her collection of scarfs was not that big, and sometimes she was in a rush to put some make up to conceal it. But yeah, she loved it.
When he’s done, his mouth goes back to hers and she uses her hands to remove his sweatshirt along with the black t-shirt he’s using underneath. She throws the clothes behind her, not caring if she hits anything important.
Her hands moves up and down, scratching with her nails the abs she loved to stare at. He leans his head back, enjoying the sensation and she puts some kisses on his chest.
He grabs her neck again when she starts moving her mouth south, bringing her for another kiss. When his fingers finally reaches the straps of her dress, a lightning lightens the room, and soon the thunder follows, making her body tense.
When it happens for a second time, Fallon can’t stand it and stops the kiss, using her hands to push Liam’s shoulders away.
She can see his confused eyes, staring at her and questioning, without speaking, what happened to make her stop. Then a third lightning illuminates her face and she can see the understanding in his eyes.
“Fallon” he calls her name when she closes her eyes, her hands squeezing his shoulders “It’s okay, it’s just rain”
She keeps her eyes closed and he starts rubbing her arms.
“Fal, just look at me” He calls her by the nickname she loved and she wants to cry “Just open your eyes and look at me”
She does what he says, her blue eyes in to his, and now she’s certain she’s going to cry.
And the reason her eyes are getting wetter has nothing to do with the storm, the lightning or the thunders. The reason why she wanted to fall apart was staring at her, calling her ‘Fal’ and trying to calm her down.
She waited so long to be here again. With him. With him kissing her, touching her and not looking at her with distrust.
She spent her day planning for every single detail so her plan wouldn’t go wrong. She craved this moment with him in a way she never desired anything else. And she got it.
Here she was, in the arms of the man she loved and hurt so much. It was like having her husband again, like old times, and she knew this could possibly last only a few hours, but at least he would be hers for a short period of time.
Then, his sweet caring eyes, would turn to angry and hurt, the second he finds out the reason she showed up that night with that black dress. He would see exactly what she did and decide to finally walk away from her. After all, he always saw her.
She shakes her head, closing her eyes again, and some tears escape them.
She can’t face him anymore. She can’t face what she almost did and go back, pretending nothing happened.
She doesn’t want him for a few hours, or for doctor appointments. She wants him for the rest of her life. And she knows she’s seconds away from having him taken away from her for good.
“Fallon, you’re scaring me. Do you have your pills with you?” he asks referring to the medicine she would take to help her with her fear.
But only shakes her head again. “I should go” she says getting up, wiping her face with the back of her hand, not caring if it would smudge her make up.
“No, no. Fallon, I won’t let you get out of here. Not like this” he stands too, gripping her wrist so she wouldn’t leave.
“I’m fine” she plasters a fake smile and he huffs. “I am. I just need to go home”
“I’m not gonna let you drive like this. And even if you were actually fine, the world is falling apart outside” he gestures for the wind and Fallon wonders if she was too busy to notice when the rain started.
“I’m not afraid to drive in the rain, Liam. I’ve done it before”
“I don’t care” he snaps “You’re staying” he states and his concern makes her feel even more guilty “We are going to finish our movie, and maybe start another one. We can even watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s again for all I care, but you’re staying” he brushes her hair, then caress her cheeks.
She nods, without saying a word and he takes a relieved breath. “Wait here. I’ll get you something warm to wear and this time you can’t say no”
She crosses her arms and he moves to his bedroom. As soon as he has his back to her and she can hear him opening his drawers, Fallon rushes to the door, closing it carefully so he wouldn’t listen.
This time, the elevator is on the same floor as hers, so she walks in quickly, exhaling when the doors close, taking her away from the man she wanted so much.
Enjoying her loneliness, she leans against the metal walls, letting the sobs shakes her body and the tears roll down her face. With the beep, she dries her face again and walks out without looking back or checking if anyone is paying attention to her.
She gets in to her car, ignoring the rain and her cellphone’s ring. The thunders can’t affect her anymore and all she wants is to go home.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Fallon opens the manor’s door, looking down, clearly defeated.
Her make up is ruined, along with her dress and hair, both still wet from the rain. Her phone is finally quiet and she haven’t checked it in a while.
She stands up in the foyer lost, staring at the flowers then at the stairs. Not wanting to go to her bedroom to be alone, she thinks about going to the kitchen and maybe drown her sorrowings in something covered in grease or chocolate but a soft light in Blake’s office calls her attention.
The click of her heels alerts Crystal, in her pajamas, that looks up when Fallon appears at the door. She sits straight in the leather armchair to watch the young woman leaning on the threshold, crossing her arms.
“Hey” Crystal greets, sending her a smile “It’s late. You just got home?” She inquiries noticing Fallon’s fancy dress.
“Yep”
“You were out with Sam?” Crystal asks again, noticing the hickey on her neck, when Fallon doesn’t say anything.
“Liam”
Crystal’s face light it up. “Oh, so that’s a good thing, isn’t?”
Fallon shakes her head, her lips trembling. “I’m a failure” she cries and Crystal’s smile disappear.
The older woman taps the armchair in front of her and Fallon follows her lead, propping down at the leather seat. Crystal gets up to pour her and Fallon a glass of whiskey and as soon as the younger takes the glass, she takes a sip.
“Now, do you want to tell me why do you think you’re a failure?” Crystal asks seating in front of her, pulling her legs up.
“I don’t think I’m a failure. I’m certain of that” she takes another sip, almost finishing her drink.
“This has to do with Liam?” Fallon nods and Crystal sighs. “What happened?”
“You mean after I cheated on him? Or the problems we were having before that?” she finishes her drink, leaving the glass on the table in front of her.
“Yes, I do. You’re clearly upset and maybe talking about it will help” Crystal suggests in a soft tone.
Fallon sighs, toying with the rings she wore that night. “Alexis came by today. And she gave some advice”
“That can’t be good” Crystal groans.
“You have no idea” she laughs a humorless laugh “My mother might have suggested that a baby could help me save my marriage and get Liam back”
The older woman scoffs. “Of course she did”
“But the worst part of this is that I was convinced to follow her idea”
“Fallon...”
“Oh, yeah... Do you see this dress? I spent hours today looking for it. The lingerie I’m wearing? The most expensive set I ever bought ” Fallon counts, watching the fireplace so she wouldn’t cry “I went to his hotel, planned a whole night so I could seduce him and I did all of that for nothing”
“I’m sorry for that” Crystal tells her sympathetic.
“I’m not” she shakes her head “If I wanted, this night would have ended in a very different way. But now I’m here, still wearing this dress and talking to my step mother”
“You changed your mind” Crystal guesses and Fallon nods.
“It’s not that I would get pregnant today, but tonight would be my first step towards that. And a baby, a family with Liam...it was what I always wanted, even though he disagrees with me. But I can’t do that”
Crystal frowns. “You mean motherhood?”
Fallon shrugs. “I mean everything. I could barely handle work and Liam without destroying my marriage. Now put a child in to that equation and watch that kid turns out worse than Alexis”
“I think you’re not being fair to yourself here”
“No, no. I’m being realistic” she shakes her head “Yes, the amount of work I did this year was far more than I expected to do. And yes, I had someone out for my husband, sabotaging our marriage. But in the end, it was me who canceled our dates, it was me that left my place for Eva to step on it, it was me that slept with Colin”
Crystal stays silent, letting Fallon vent.
“And now, all the time I have left is filled with schemes, trying to get Liam in the same room as me, with him actually wanting to be with me. I can’t bring a child in to this. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved, especially Liam because I would’ve done it behind his back”
“With that I can agree” Crystal concedes.
“The thing is, even though Alexis’s idea was wrong, her intention was good. And she was right, things can’t continue the way they are”
Crystal gives a condescending smile. “I wish I could help”
Fallon lifts her chin up, watching the other woman finishing her glass. “Maybe you can” she muses “You’ve been through a similar situation. How did you move past Blake’s betrayal?”
“I don’t think my relationship can be used as reference”
“Why not? You’re basically Liam” Fallon points it out.
“No, I’m not. I had an affair too, remember? After I found out about his with Laura but still an affair”
“I forgot about the priest” she rolls her eyes.
“But to be fair, I think it helped us in some way” Crystal contemplates.
“You mean the solution for my marriage is to have Liam have an affair with some woman? Should I call Eva in prison right now? Or maybe his ex girlfriend, Ashley? I’m sure you remember her from our first trip together?” Fallon asks exasperated, leaning forward, unable to contain her shock.
“I didn’t say that”
“Good. Because only over my dead body that would happen” she warns arching her brows.
“What I meant is that the time apart, the opportunity to be with someone else helped me clear my head”
“Everyone keeps telling me to give him time, and I gave him time. More than enough time. And it’s not working” she whines.
“I thought you said you were with him tonight” Crystal remembers.
“Yeah, I was, after giving him that damn time you just said. So what else? What else can I do to make him forgive me?”
Crystal takes a deep breath, leaning too so they would be closer. “After Laura, I just couldn’t continue pretending. You know how you keep making excuses for the person you love? That was what I was doing with Blake. I did pretend I was happy after he kept putting his work before me, after all the lies and the times he made me feel less important than him. And that happened a lot. But I put up with it because I was sure of his love. Then he cheated on me and I didn’t have to tolerate that anymore”
Fallon frowns. “That sounds a lot like a toxic relationship... is my marriage toxic too?” She asks worried.
“I’m not saying it is” Crystal tries to appease her, squeezing her hand. “I asked for a divorce because I couldn’t trust him anymore and I was in love with someone else”
“And what changed?”
“Discovering my tumor helped me change my perspective. I thought I could die and Blake changed too. Loosing CA made us stand on even grounds and he proved to me that things wouldn’t be the same”
“And you trust him now?”
“I do, yes” Crystal nods “But I still have that annoying voice in my head, telling me to track him down when he comes home late or doesn’t answers my calls. Not because I’m possessive of him, but because I remember what happened in the past”
“That doesn’t seem a lot like trust for me” Fallon muses and Crystal nods.
“I admit it’s not my best behavior, but it’s what I can do now. I made a choice when I chose to stay with your father, a choice I do everyday. I promised that I would try because I love him, but trust isn’t build in a day or two. Every action he does it’s like he’s putting brick by brick, and I know one day that wall will be finished and that voice in my head won’t have any more power over me” she explains “Marriages aren’t easy, especially on their first year, but you have to decide, everyday, you want it to work”
“How?” Fallon asks defeated.
“Show him that you’ve changed. That everything that was on the way before, won’t be a problem now” Crystal suggests and Fallon groans.
“That’s the thing. I’ve tried everything I could. I have never been in a situation where I didn’t know what to do”
Crystal takes a moment, aware that Fallon wouldn’t like what she had to say. “I know this won’t probably bring you any joy but if you already did everything in your power to save your relationship, now the ball is in Liam’s court. It’s up to him to decide if he wants to take the risk again”
“And if he doesn’t?” Fallon asks, her voice now choked by the tears that were threatening to fall, with the possibility hanging in the air. “I love him”
“Then, I’m sorry, but you have to let him go” Crystal wipes a rebel tear that escaped Fallon’s blue eyes.
“What if I can’t?” Fallon whispers.
“You can. From all I’ve heard and seen, Fallon Carrington can do anything. You just need to remind yourself of who you are” Fallon chuckles lightly, using the back of her hand to dry her now wet cheeks.
The younger brunette leans back on her seat, pondering every word in her head. “You’re right”
“Of course I am” Crystal jokes.
“I’m going to take a step back and let him decide. And if he wants to end things, I’ll give him his freedom” she shrugs “Maybe being single, again, is not so bad”
“Fallon, I don’t want to give you hope or anything, but I don’t think you’re going to be single anytime soon” Crystal warns her “I saw Liam the day you were shot and I’ve never seen anyone more devastated than he was that night. He loves you” she states “He’s just afraid of trying again, which is understandable, but not impossible. It will happen. But in the meantime, please try not to get pregnant. You two can only deal with one thing at a time” she pleads.
Fallon laughs, her mood improved now. “I promise you that”. She stands, looking around the room she grew up in and stops at her step mother. “I never asked... why are you here so late?”
Crystal shrugs. “Blake got home late today and that little voice wouldn’t shut up”
“Is it quiet now?” She asks sympathetic, wondering if Liam had the same voice inside his own head.
“Yes, don’t worry”
Fallon makes her exit but stops near the door, shifting her body to face her stepmother. “Thank you. For the talk. This is the second time I come looking for advice from you. And for making my own inner voice shut up as well”
“Anytime, Fallon”
The young woman sends her an appreciative smile, before turning around. This time, she goes to her room, closes the door and stares, unafraid, where Liam used to sleep.
She takes her phone and sees 12 missed calls and three messages from Liam.
Where did you go?
Can you please answer my calls? I’m worried
I get that you don’t want to talk to me now, even though I can’t understand why. But please, just let me know you’re safe
She smiles reading his texts, almost hearing his voice in every word.
I’m home. I’m okay. She replies simply and shuts her phone off, not expecting a reply from him.
She takes her ruined dress off, leaving it on the floor. She doesn’t want to see this dress ever again.
She sighs and end up staring a photo of them, one from their honeymoon, hanging on the wall next to her.
She might have to get used to the idea of never having him there again. Not even in photos.
It would be hard. Probably the worst thing she ever had to face. Especially after just having him so close again. But now, she knew it wouldn’t break her.
Crystal was right. She just needed a reminder of how incredible she was and that no one could ever take that away from her.
After all, with or without Liam, she’s Fallon Freaking Carrington, nothing is ever going to change that.
Standing on the platform
Watching you go
It's like no other pain
I've ever known
To love someone so much
To have no control
You said I want to see the world
And I said go
But I think I'm lost without you
I just feel crushed without you
I've been strong for so long
That I never thought how much I needed you
I think I'm lost without you
Notes:
So Fallon didn't do it.
Her character is full of flaws but she has grown up so much these last seasons, so even though she heard Alexis, she didn't follow her advice.
Tell me what you thought about this chapter!
I think the next chapter will be posted only next week, so Merry Christmas, everyone.
And again, I just want to thank everyone that reads this story, leaves a comment or kudos. This warms my heart and makes me realize my effort was not in vain.
See you next chapter!
Chapter 6: Bag of Bones
Notes:
Hello everyone
I know it's been so long since I updated this but a lot happened in my life, and I just lost someone important in my life for covid, so I'm not okay.
But this chapter was finished and I figured this story could use an update, so if anyone is still reading this, here we go.This chapter is based on Bag of Bones by ZZ Ward
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Baby, when you are beside me
It's like we're walking on stars
Baby, when you are inside me
You know we light up the dark
I never needed nobody
I hear your train on the tracks
You snuck right in, caught you, caught it
No falling in love, and it's too late to fall back
The sound of heels clicking announce the entry of Fallon in the dining room.
Sam and Kirby stop their conversations to watch the brunette taking her seat at the table and pour herself some green juice. Her face is clear of emotions and they can help but stay put, waiting for her next move.
“What?” Fallon snaps after a sip of her glass and a spoon from her salad fruit. “I can see you two staring at me. If you continue I’m afraid it will dig holes in to my clothes” she gestures for the pink Dior dress she’s wearing.
“Nothing” they both say simultaneously.
“No bacon this morning?” Kirby questions eyeing her. “Or coffee?”
She shakes her head while continuing eating her fruit. “Nope. I’ve decided to make new choices in my life, so I’m trying to be more healthy from now on”
“And no Liam talk?” Sam asks narrowing his eyes, finding her behavior odd. She glares at him and he huffs. “What? Everytime we talk, ninety percent of our conversation is about him or schemes to make him fall in love with you again. Forgive me if I’m just confused”
She shakes her head. “No, you’re right. I admit I can get obssessive about certain things, Liam included. But I can assure you the L topic won’t be in our conversations anymore”
Sam gasps. “Does this mean you finally worked things out with him? Can I help plan the nursery? I’m just really excited about a baby in the house” he claps.
“Wait a minute” Kirby intervenes, looking between Fallon and Sam “A baby? Fallon, you’re pregnant?”
Fallon groans. “Okay, new rule: no one is allowed to ask me if I’m pregnant. One, is impolite. Two, even if I was, that would be my business and my decision if I wanted people to know”
“So no baby?” Sam pouts.
“No Sam, no baby” Fallon puts a grape at her mouth, trying to keep it full so she wouldn’t say things she shouldn’t say.
“I’m just confused. Why would there be a baby if you’re not pregnant?” Kirby steps in again.
“There wouldn’t. Sam just have a very fertile imagination. See what you just did here?” She glares at Sam, pointing her head to Kirby and he rolls his eyes.
“Fine” he concedes, drinking his juice “Then can we talk about why we aren’t talking about Liam?”
Fallon takes a moment to breathe, putting her elbows on the table and supporting her head with her intertwined hands, her conversation with Crystal still replaying in her head. “I’ve decided to finally hear what everyone has been telling me all these months. I’m taking a step back and let time do it’s thing”
There’s silence in the room, the only noise coming from Sam’s mouth.
“Who are you and what you did with Fallon?” Sam asks shocked, sticking a piece of banana bread inside his mouth.
“I’ve told you, I’m trying to be healthier. And this include my love life too. In front of you, there’s a new version of me. I might even join Alexis in her spin class later today”
“Oh my God” Sam exclaims.
“You really are changed” Kirby muses “Well, I would love to stay here and talk about this new and mature version of you but I have some plans for this morning” she says getting up and taking an apple with her “Sam, invite her for tonight”
When Kirby is out of the room, Sam leans forward, watching Fallon closely. “You weren’t serious earlier, right?”
“About the spin class? Yes, I was. It’s been ages since I’ve exercised, but don’t worry, I’m not dragging you with me this time”
“I don’t mean that” he hisses “I take last night didn’t go the way you planned”
“Oh no, it did. Everything was going great, fantastic even. Then I called the whole thing off and went home”
“You chickened out?”
“Fallon Carrington does not chickens out” she states “I just thought things through and came to the conclusion that maybe I wasn’t doing things in the right way” she shrugs.
“Are you serious? Because I spent my entire afternoon yesterday telling you exactly this at La Perla”
“And I got the message. A little later than expected but I did” He curls his lips. “So you didn’t go all the way”
Fallon takes a deep breath and forces a smile. “If you want to know if I’m still living in celibacy, then your answer is yes, Sam. I am. This is probably the worst part of my punishment” she mutters while holding her glass..
“You didn’t even reach the second base? Because I can spot a hickey in your neck and I’m mentally praying that it was Liam who gave you that and not another man. Because if that is the case, I don’t think I can handle any more drama in your life”
Her hand rushes to the sensitive skin, covering it. “I put so much make up on it this morning. I honestly thought I had it covered”
“Maybe for regular people, but I’m kind of an expert on this” he says smug, crossing his arms.
“Well, thank you. And calm down, my husband gave me this. I didn’t screw things over again this time, thanks for the vote of confidence”
“I’m sorry but things are moving too fast for me to keep up with. Just like this new version of you. Where this is coming from? I thought you wanted him back, in fact, yesterday you had your mind set on getting Liam back. What changed?”
She stops chewing her salad fruit, putting in to words what she felt last night. “You were right... when you said about how unfair it would be to bring a child in this”
“That’s it?”
“No” she sighs, looking down “Our night was perfect. He was being nice to me, it even felt like the last months never happened. And I got him right where I wanted. And he was just there, staring at me like I was everything he could ever dream and I was planning to get pregnant just so I could have him for myself. Then I realized how wrong it was what I was doing and how much he would hate me if he ever found out about this. So I walked away of his room when he wasn’t looking and had a breakdown at the elevator after I realized how pathetic I was”
“Fallon...”
“No, spare me. I don’t need your condescending tone. What I need is to let go of him for a little while. I’ve been neglecting my company ever since the shooting, focusing all my energy on him and I can’t and won’t do that anymore. So starting today, my thoughts belong to Fallon Unlimited only and my efforts will be to make myself happier and my company even more successful”
“Look at you. Making good decisions” Sam gives her a warm smile, squeezing her free hand across the table. “I’m happy for you. I really am”
“Me too. Or at least I’m trying to”
“Just don’t sink yourself too low in to work again, you need to live a little”
“I’ve got it all under control”
“I get stressed everytime I hear you say those words” he shivers “So, since you have all this spare time you didn’t have it before because you were too busy scheming, how about you go out with me and Kirby today? We are going to this new club and we can get drunk and you can help us find some decent men there” he offers.
“That actually sounds like a good idea. The last time we did something like this it was before I got married. I think I deserve a break too” Fallon muses.
“That’s the spirit” he celebrates, standing up “I need to go now but I’ll text you the address of the club where we are going tonight. Be ready by seven”
He walks away, and when she’s alone, Fallon takes her time to prepare herself mentally for the day.
She wasn’t nervous about going to work. This, was probably going to be the easiest part of her today. No, she wasn’t worried about her successful company, the one she worked so hard to build from scratch and was doing pretty well. She was worried about trying to spend a whole day without thinking about the reason she has been sleeping alone in her bed.
What she told Sam and Kirby was true, she was going to try a different approach, one that doesn’t include plots or dramas. But that was easier said than done. So even though she told Sam she wouldn’t drown herself at work, that could be the only thing that might keep her mind busy and stop her from going places she shouldn’t be going.
And work she does. She has meetings all morning and by the time lunch arrives, her adrenaline is reaching the sky and she finally feels like herself again.
After she finishes a call with a client, her assistant rushes to her desk.
“These are for you to sign” she lays two pink folders in to table.
“Thanks, Jane”
“Uhh... Mrs Carrington, there’s a man here to see you” Jane blurts out, eyeing the door and her boss.
Fallon shakes her head, looking down while signing those papers. “I don’t care if the pope is here to see me, Jane. I’ve told you I was going to be busy today and I’m about to head out to eat”
“That’s the thing. He says he’s your husband” Fallon finally looks up, alarmed.
Jane never met Liam, he never showed up at her office after that Eva disaster, so her assistant might as well being played here. Or, it could be him. Either way, she could only do one thing to find that out.
“Send him in” Fallon bosses and immediately goes check her make up and her hair.
And then, enters Liam, wearing one of his shirts she hated, a blazer, a Starbucks cup of coffee and his adorable smile.
“I had feeling you didn’t want to talk to me last night but have your assistant block my way in is just rude” he jokes and she rolls her eyes.
“Jane is new here, and considering my former assistants I needed someone more careful this time”
He nods. “It’s a good thing you finally hired someone”
“Yeah, it took me a month to do it but I finally did it. But this time I had a psychiatrist do a mental evaluation before I hired her”
He chuckles. “So no more sociopaths?”
“Not in this building, not anymore” she laughs happily, content with the absence of tension between them.
“I don’t know if it’s been too long since I’ve came here but this place looks different” he says looking around and Fallon shifts in her leather chair, uncomfortable.
“I did some remodeling. Figured this place could use some fresh air” she shrugs.
That was not the reason every furniture in her office was new. The motive had to do with Colin and the night she destroyed her marriage. But Liam didn’t need to know that, so she sends him a smile.
“So, not that I don’t like your visit, but what are you doing here?”
He sets the cup in front of her, and use his free hands to bury them inside his trousers pockets. “This is for you. And you didn’t answer my calls last night”
“I texted you back when I got home”
“Yeah, that was not the kind of reply I was expecting” he drawls searching for her blue eyes, while all she wanted to do was hide under her desk, like a child. “What happened last night, Fallon?”
She sighs. “Nothing. You know how I get with storms”
“I didn’t mean that part” he exhales, taking a seat on the chair opposite to hers “I get you’re afraid of storms. But I’m talking about why you ran away or didn’t answer me back”
“Liam...”
“No, don’t ‘Liam’ me” he protests and she knows he’s not backing down “You came to my room, things were doing fine and then you jumped me and left when I had my back turned on you, like a fugitive” he sighs “And I know that you don’t run from anything, so care to explain to me what happened?”
“That’s not like I remember” she dodges, trying to gain more time but he’s out of patience.
“Fallon, you showed up at my room with chocolate, wine, candy and that dress. Do you honestly think I didn’t know you had a plan in mind?” he asks sarcastic and she actually feels her cheeks getting red.
Of course he knew. Sometimes she wishes she could be less transparent with him.
“Don’t flatter yourself. I’ve told you I didn’t have time to change yesterday” she pretends, snorting and he laughs.
“So you didn’t plan to seduce me last night? At all?” He asks smug and for the first time in her life, she feels like punching him, just so she could watch his grin disappear.
“No, Liam. I didn’t” she lies between her teeth “It’s not my fault you can’t resist me in a black dress”
“I couldn’t resist you? Fallon, common, you were there last night and that’s not how I remember things, Miss I-want-to-watch-Pretty- Woman-and-reminisce-about-every-sex-we- ever-had” he exclaims and Fallon curls her lips, having her own plan thrown at her face.
She closes her eyes. “Fine. So I planned a romantic night with my husband, is that a crime or anything? Because as you just said, I was there and I don’t remember seeing you get upset about it” she snaps.
“I didn’t complain about anything” he gets defensive, raising his hands signaling for peace.
“Good”
“What I’m trying to understand is what happened in the mean time to make you want to leave? Behind my back?” he inquiries clearly confused.
She’s torn. She can’t tell him the truth without risking the progress she made with him or lie to him, again, so he wouldn’t hate her forever.
So Fallon goes with a version of the truth.
“You are right” she admits, staring at her intertwined hands at her lap “I had a plan in mind and I was determined to follow it. But then I realized that it was not how I wanted things to happen”
“Fallon...”
“I miss you, Liam” she blurts out, glancing at him “I got desperate because I miss you and even if I couldn’t have all of you, at least I could have a few moments with you. But it didn’t feel right”
“What didn’t feel right?” he asks softer.
She bite her lip, deciding her next words without betraying her own feelings.
“I want you, Liam” Fallon states and she has never been more honest “I really do. You’re my husband and I chose you to spend the rest of my life with. And I want that, you have no idea how much I want to grow old with you by my side even though I hate the idea of wrinkles in my face” he chuckles “But I realized, I can’t be the only person dreaming about our future. You have to want that too, or else I’m fighting a lost battle here” she shrugs, pondering Crystal’s words.
He looks down, contemplating his wife’s speech. “So when you left –“
“Me leaving was my way of finally letting you go, Liam. Or at least, giving you some air” she interrupts him “I admit I can be a little overwhelming and I thought that maybe I wasn’t giving you enough space for you to figure it out if you want to continue in this marriage”
“Wow” he exclaims and she arches a brow “Sorry, is just I wasn’t expecting that”
She cracks up a smile at his surprised face.
“I’ve told you I was trying to get better. And it’s not easy but I am. Just bear with me a little longer and I promise you won’t regret it” she pleads, half serious and half joking, hoping he would get her.
“I’m not in a rush to go anywhere so take all the time you need” he winks and she feels her insides get warmer.
He stretches his right arm across her table, moving his fingers so she would give him her hand, which she obliges happily.
“Fallon, I really need you to know that I’m not trying to punish you. I can see the effort you’ve been doing and you have no idea how happy that makes me. But the space you mentioned, is not just for me, is for you too”
She frowns. “What if I don’t want any space?”
He sighs, putting his other hand on top of hers, toying with her engagement ring. “Do you remember when you booked us a romantic get away? I was being honest at the truth tent, I have been feeling like a failure for a long time. I used to spent my whole day at the manor, doing nothing while waiting for a miracle to happen and get a gig or an inspiration for some story. It was embarrassing, considering how much you’ve done since we got married”
“You know I never cared about that” she intervenes.
“I know, but I care” he explains “I don’t care that you make more money than me or that you have a multi billionaire empire going on here. I’m actually proud of that because my wife is the best on what she does and I can brag about it all day to my friends even if they don’t want to hear it” she laughs with him and he squeezes her hand “I love that you are finally doing what you are meant to be doing. You were born for this. But I need to feel useful too. I need to have an occupation, something that matters to me, to the world. And I was lacking that passion, and that emptiness was driving me insane and away from you too. It was reflecting on our relationship, I was taking it out on you and that wasn’t fair. Do you understand that now?”
She nods.
“I need to be whole to be the husband you need me to be. And I stand by what I said, I want to give us a try. This is a work set for two, I can see your effort and I need to do my part too. This space you are patiently giving me is helping me with that. To return a better person for you. This is why I’m here too” he let go of her hand, sitting straight and she misses the warm feeling “I’m going to New York later today”
“You’ve been doing a lot of traveling lately” she muses curling her lips.
“Do you remember all those papers you saw yesterday?” She nods
“My trip is related to them. I think I finally got something that can help my career”
“In New York?” Fallon questions trying to bury her worry about him going away. So she gives him an smile, hoping for the best. “Liam, that’s great” she celebrates.
“Yeah, I think so too” he stands up.
“So when you get back? We can plan something to celebrate the good news I’m sure you’re going to get. Maybe a dinner at the hotel if you’re tired from your flight. We don’t have to do anything glamorous”
“Actually, I’m moving out of the hotel” he drawls out.
“Oh, why?”
Liam shrugs. “I got tired of living in a hotel, too impersonal for me. And it was going to be a temporary situation, like a week or two, but it’s been too long. I miss having my space. And I contacted my former landlord and my old apartment is still available so I’m moving back as soon as I’m back to Atlanta”
And just like that, the excitement Fallon was feeling is gone. She knows what this means. He reaching out to his former landlord is like he’s telling her he’s still not ready to move back home. And if he’s not ready for that, then he’s not ready for ‘them’ yet. And that hurts, even though she was determined to let him take his time, it stings more than she would like to admit.
She plasters a smile on her face, trying to convince her and him, that his change of address was not bothering her at all. “That’s great. It will be great for you to reconnect with that part of your past. And we did make some good memories there”
“I agree” he smirks “But my other reason to come here is to invite you for lunch. I’m going to spend a week or so in New York so I thought we could spend some time together before that” he suggests and her heart beats faster.
She wants to say yes. Every cell of her body wants to say yes, this was what she has been expecting of him after all these months.
She can read his move. This was him giving her the wheel, letting her take the direction of their marriage. If she wanted to speed things up, this was her chance.
And she’s inclined to say yes. But she remembers that the next step of his life doesn’t involve her, in any way.
Fallon knows, that even though he’s not there yet, he’s choosing to give them a chance.
She loves his selfishness but she needs him to be on the same level as her, so she’s going to choose the hard path.
Fallon shakes her head, giving him a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry, we will have to reschedule that. I promised to have lunch with Alexis today. She has been begging me to start this mother- daughter traditions and I’m finally giving her a shot” she lies again, for the second time that day and she hopes he doesn’t see her through her lies this time.
“That’s okay. Hey, look at us, both trying new things”. This time her smile is cut in half, barely lifting the corners of her mouth. “Maybe we can rain check? After I get back? I can cook”
“It’s a date” she says soflty “Have a nice trip. And good luck in New York”
“Thanks. See you soon, Fal” he tells her with a half smirk and she wishes she could know what it meant.
He walks away and suddenly, she’s not hungry anymore but also doesn’t want to eat alone and reminds herself the company she wanted for lunch was just dismissed by her. So she tries her second best option.
“Hey, mom. Are you free right now?” She asks as soon Alexis picks up, relieved that her last lie was going to turn in to a truth.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
It’s late and she can’t feel her feet, but for the first time in that day, Fallon is feeling good.
The music is loud, preventing her of paying attention to her own thoughts and the lights are making her forget about her life situation.
They have been dancing for hours when Kirby, Sam and Fallon finally leave the dance floor and prop down at the black leather couch.
The waiter brings them the reinforcement they need to keep the night going, putting several shots of vodka on their table.
They all get one, toasting and drinking all up in one sip without making a grimace.
“This was exactly what I needed for tonight” Fallon yells through the loud music, leaning back on her seat. Her face is relaxed, her hair is down and her dark make up is still in place.
“I’ve told you” Sam sings smug “Sometimes, you just have to let go a little”
“And you were right. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun”
“Probably on your bachelorette party but we were drugged so you don’t remember anything about it” Kirby intervenes, picking her phone so she could take some selfies.
Fallon groans. “Can we please not talk about that night? I still have nightmares of me marrying someone named Scorpio”
“Hey, Ryan was very nice, okay?” Sam exclaims.
Kirby huffs. “Do me a favor and leave the exes subject out of the conversation tonight? I thought we were here to have some fun”
“You know what? Kirby is right” Fallon points it out “Boy talk is not allowed tonight. And that includes Liam. At least he’s away in New York so out of sight, out of mind”
Sam laughs out loud. “Like that ever worked with you” Fallon slaps him with the back of her hand, annoyed with his comment.
“Just one quick question before we stop talking about boys” Kirby stops her selfies to lean to Fallon, in conspiracy “Before you and Liam get back together, can we throw you another bachelorette party? Because we could really use a do over”
“No” Fallon snaps and the other two roll theirs eyes at her “I don’t trust you two to be in charge of anything in my life anymore. To be honest, I didn’t trust you back then too so this conversation is pointless”
Sam groans, going for the vodka and Kirby picks her phone again. Not a minute passes before she’s frowning while staring at it.
“Huh, Fallon? Have you checked your phone lately?”
“I thought we were going to stay away from our phones tonight” Sam protests, glaring at the red head.
“Apparently that was just for me” Fallon sings ironic “Why?”
Kirby sighs, blocking the screen. “You should keep that thing away. Or at least, don’t check TMZ” she warns and that makes Fallon search for her purse, looking for her phone in it.
“Why? Don’t tell me they already got a photo of me here?”
“Worst” Kirby cringes at the same time Fallon gasps.
The brunette couldn’t believe her own eyes. There, at the front page, was a picture of Liam and Ashley dining together, laughing like two old friends and he seems more at easy with the blonde than he ever looked with Fallon, especially in the past few months. Along with the photo, a headline about old flames and questions about her marriage facing a crisis, remembering her first marriage with Jeff Colby.
Fallon keeps staring at the screen, hoping for it to be a joke or an old picture, but then she sees the watch Liam is wearing on his wrist, one she bought for him right after his Paysinger Awards winning, and was using earlier and she can actually feel her heart stops.
“What? What are you two talking about?” Sam leans forward Fallon’s shoulder to look at the screen too and gasps “Oh my God”
“Sam!” Kirby reprimands.
“This day is just full of surprises” he mumbles but Fallon still can hear it “Maybe this is an old pic. You know websites like TMZ do everything for a good gossip”
“It’s not” Fallon shakes her head defeated “I gave Liam that watch. He was wearing it when he came to visit me in my office earlier. This was taken today”
“Fallon...” Kirby tries.
“What he’s even doing with her? What does that even mean?” Fallon whines, using her finger to zoom the image.
“That girl is persistent, I give her that” Sam tilts his head, watching the brunette “I’m sure she heard he was in town and just wanted to catch up with the news”
“The only thing Ashley wants to catch is my husband” she rages “I know that. He knows that, so what the hell is he doing with her?”
Kirby and Sam keep quiet, looking at each other, watching her spiral.
“He told me this trip was about a career opportunity. Does this sound like work to you two?” She waves her phone in front of them, rambling until she gasps “Oh my God, he’s having an affair with her”
“Okay, okay, give me that” Sam takes her phone away, blocking the screen “Let’s not jump in to conclusions”
“I’m not jumping to anything” Fallon defends herself “Liam is the one –“
“Liam is just eating a meal, Fallon” Kirby interrupts her “As far as we can see, they’re just eating”
“That’s because you don’t know him” the brunette accuses and Kirby takes a deep breath “They are seconds away to leave for his room at the Plaza”
Sam frowns. “Wait, how do you know he’s staying at the Plaza?”
“That’s not important” she says exasperated “You saw the picture, does that look like just dinner?”
“They do look cozy” Kirby contemplates but receives a glare from Sam. “Oh my God” Fallon starts to hyperventilating.
“They are just enjoying a meal in a nice restaurant. There’s nothing to worry about” Sam calms her, rubbing her arm “Remember what you said this morning, about giving his space –“
“Space? I gave him so much space that he ended it up in New York with Trashley, again” she yells and both of her friends are grateful for the loud music “I’m done listening to everyone, telling me what to do”
“You’re not going to New York, are you? Because if we repeat what happened at Sun Valley again we might actually go to jail” Kirby warns and Fallon rolls her eyes.
“No, Kirby, I’m not. I’ve said I wouldn’t neglect my company and I don’t plan to do that. But I’m done playing nice” she leans to pick the vodka, drinking two shots in a roll “This is now war”
Sam widens his eyes, scared. “Here we go again” he sighs.
Baby, don't you leave me
'Cause I can't keep hanging onto your shadow
Baby, don't leave me, I'm so blind
I can't see that I'm losing, losing the battle
What should I do when you leave me?
What should I do when you're gone?
If you ain't next to me, darling
Oh, I'm nothing but a
Nothing bag of bones
Notes:
Again, I just want thank everyone who leaves a comment or a kudo. You guys are awesome!
See you next chapter!
Chapter 7: Love In The Dark
Notes:
Hello
Anyone still here?
This chapter is filled with drama and I loved writing this.
This chapter is based on Love in The Dark by Adele.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
This chapter is based on Love in The Dark by Adele.
Take your eyes off of me so I can leave
I'm far too ashamed to do it with you watching me
This is never ending, we have been here before
But I can't stay this time 'cause I don't love you anymore
Please, stay where you are
Don't come any closer
Don't try to change my mind
I'm being cruel to be kind
I can't love you in the dark
It feels like we're oceans apart
T here is so much space between us
Maybe we're already defeated
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Everything changed me
When Sam arrives at the dining room, his brunette friend is already there. A plate of scrambled eggs and a cup of black coffee placed in front of her, while Fallon types something at her iPhone, then moves to her iPad to check the news.
He mutters a ‘Good Morning’ but only gets a response from Crystal, who was also sporting a tense expression on her face.
He pours himself a glass of orange juice when Blake storms in to the room, his mood looking worst than everyone at the table.
“Fallon. Great, you’re still here” he starts, taking his seat at the head of the table “I need to talk to you”
“I don’t care” she mumbles, not looking up from her iPad and he huffs.
“Will you drop the attitude? I have enough going on with this Adam’s murders scandal. I could use some peace with the rest of my children so the press doesn’t turn my life in to hell” he complains.
“Again, I don’t give a damn about your political career” she says and both Sam and Crystal get tense, watching the beginning of their fight.
“Oh, you do. And even if you don’t, you’re about to start now or did you forget your company is still tied to my name? So a scandal involving the Carrington name, involves your company too” he threatens and she finally puts down her iPad to stare at him.
She huffs, clearly impatient. “What do you want?”
“I need you to assume the control of PPA –“
“No” she states, shifting to her scrambled eggs.
“You didn’t even let me finish” he exclaims.
“And I don’t need to. I know what you’re going to say and I can’t and won’t leave Fallon Unlimited unattended because golden boy murdered someone, which we all knew it was going to happen someday, and you have to deal with the mess and your political career” she counters “You have another daughter. Go ask Amanda”
“Amanda doesn’t have the experience –“
“Blake” she stops him again, sending him a condescending smile “This conversation is useless. I’ve done that many times in the past and that time is over. And I already have other things in my life that requires my attention so I’m going to decline your offer”
He sighs, and the rest of their crowd seems relieved when they notice their bickering is over.
“I get it, I promise I won’t insist” he lifts his hands as a surrender sign then goes for his wife’s hands, squeezing “But I’m making a statement today, with the whole family to show to the rest of the world, that we fight together and stay strong. We need to show a united front. So can you show up? And Liam too. I need everyone”
Fallon was just taking her coffee to her mouth when she stops midway, her mood has just gotten worse.
“No, I can’t. Liam just got back from his trip and we have a date. He’s cooking” she grits out and Sam frowns, finding her behavior odd.
“Can’t you just move this date to the manor? I’m sure our kitchen is much bigger than his” Blake suggests.
“I do miss his food” Crystal sings taking a sip of her mimosa.
“And I certainly wouldn’t mind to eat a meal prepared by Liam” Sam completes, supporting Crystal.
A slap on the table makes them jump on their seats, while Fallon stands up.
“No one is moving anything, are you listening to me?” She takes her Chanel bag that was seating on the chair next to hers “I’m going to work, then, I will go to Liam’s apartment, where we will have a nice dinner, without any of you present. So Senator Blake” she turns to Blake “Don’t ask me to stand next to you, tonight, saying I support my homicide of a brother, because that won’t happen”
She turns around, her heels the only sound that could be heard on the house, going straight to the door but a voice stops her.
“Fallon” Sam calls out of breath, catching up with her “What was that?” he points to the living room.
“Nothing” she dismisses but gets a glare from him “I’m just tired of Blake. He always does that, assuming that every single thing in my life is less important than anything in his”
“That’s all?” he arches his brow, crossing his arms “Because if you have a date with Liam, shouldn’t you be a little bit happier?”
“Oh, I am happy. Can’t you see the fireworks inside my eyes right now?” She asks sarcastic and he rolls his eyes.
“Does this have anything to do with that post on TMZ?”
“No” she sings, opening the front door “This is just me, exhausted, of everyone in my life telling me what to do”
“Fallon, what are you going to do?” he asks scared, watching her disappear behind the door.
“What I should have done from the start” she turns to him, with only her face available for him to see “I’m taking control of my life back, and this time, no one will stop me”
She closes the door behind her and Sam groans. “Why can’t we have a meal without any drama in this house?” he asks looking up.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Fallon knocks impatiently at the door, looking around the hall, not caring if she was disturbing the neighbors, and almost hits Liam’s head when he opens it, seconds later.
“You do know I have a door bell and I’m not deaf, right?” he jokes, crossing his arms to watch his wife.
“I do, but I was in the mood to punch something. Your door was the next best thing to someone’s face” she walks in, turning her body to see every new detail of his not so new apartment.
The furniture was not the same, obviously, but the walls still held the same dark blue color. She notices some books, a few decoration but no portraits, especially of them or her, making her wonder if he wanted to erase every trace of her in his apartment too.
“Hard day at the office?” he asks closing the door and standing close to it.
“More like a hard day to be a Carrington” she muses, turning to him.
He nods, getting closer. “I saw the news. Is it true that the police is suspecting Adam? I mean, the guy is weird and certainly not a good person, but a murderer?”
“I try to stay out of it” she shrugs “But after what he did to you when we first got engaged, let me just say I hope he dies in jail” she says, eyeing the kitchen and the smell coming from it “I still cant believe you didn’t press charges back then”
“Your family was going through a lot that time, Fallon. I just didn’t want to make things worse for you and your father”
“Yeah, good thing I helped him get away with murder. Can you imagine two Carringtons in prison? Maybe they could’ve started a new dynasty there” she points it out sarcastic. She takes off her coat, dropping on his new armchair along with her purse. “The things we do for love, right?” she mumbles walking in to his small grey kitchen.
“Maybe you’ve been watching Game of Thrones a little too much” he chuckles, following her.
“What can I say? I get bored easily and I have all this free time I was supposed to be using with my husband but he was away” she hints, jumping to seat on the counter, aware of just how much her short dress was now showing.
She crosses her legs with a smug smile, and clears her throat to make his eyes go back to her face.
“So how was New York?”
He shrugs, moving to the stove to check the pan she guessed it was the source of the amazing smell she was feeling.
He shrugs, taking a spoon to his mouth to taste his sauce. “Same old. I still love the city though”
“You met any old friends during your stay?” She fishes and notices how his back tenses with her questioning.
“No, not at all. It was just business” And she can’t take it anymore.
“Liar” she states and he turns off the stove, shifting to her, sighing. “Did you really think that my husband would go out to dinner with his ex girlfriend and not get photographed by a paparazzi?”
“Fallon –“
She doesn’t let him finish. “How is Ashley by the way? Did she finally get the correct shade of blonde right? Because the last time I saw her, the color of her hair didn’t match her eyebrows”
“That was not what you’re thinking” he starts but she snorts.
“Then be a gentleman and explains to me what I’m thinking right now” she asks wry and he can feel the poison in every word.
“Ashley got married –“
“That was fast for someone who was so in love with you, don’t you think? What is the poor’s guy name? So I can send him a card with some flowers and explain exactly what he had gotten himself in to, in case he doesn’t know”
“Will you stop?” he snaps, his hand going to his hair, signaling his patience was coming short “You’re acting like a child”
Fallon shakes her head, letting a humorless laugh out. “So now I’m a child? You’re the one that keeps going back to high school girlfriends, and I’m the child? You know, it’s so great when you spent days apart from your spouse and the first opportunity they get, they insult you”
“That’s not what I meant, and you know it” he accuses, taking a second for a deep breath.
She uses his silence to jump down the counter, and take a step closer to him. “You told me this trip was about work. About your career. Not about dinners with ex girlfriends. Especially Ashley” she counters, talking slowly while facing him.
“And it was” he sighs “The Times editor wanted to meet for an informal interview. He is an old friend of Ashley’s husband, and somehow, found out she and I had a relationship in the past. So we met, later, in that same dinner to talk, and I assume those gossip websites didn’t bother to take that picture, the one with me, Ashley, her husband and the editor, all in one table, eating”
It was not what she was expecting to hear. Caught off guard, she stops to think of her next words.
Fallon can almost hear Sam’s voice in her head, telling her that picture couldn’t be trusted. Maybe he was right. But Fallon would never admit that to him.
She takes a step back, leaning on the counter again, feeling a little embarrassed of her accusations.
“So” she starts a few seconds later “Did you get the job?” As soon as she finishes her question her inner voice keeps repeating in her head “Please, say no. Please, say no”
He nods, cracking up a smile. “I did. He made me a great offer”
And just like that, her world falls apart. He was moving away. Away from her, from their marriage.
This time he wasn’t packing to move to a hotel. This time, he was leaving the state.
She tries to muster a smile but fails. “I knew you were going to get it. Congratulations”
“Thanks”
“It just never crossed my mind you were actually looking for job offers in another state” she draws out, glancing at the wall in front of her.
“It’s not like I have people knocking at my door, Fal. It was just an interview”
“An interview you didn’t even stop to think what it would mean for our marriage” she points it out, finally facing him.
He walks closer to her, rubbing her covered arm. “If that’s what you’re worried about, you can relax. I respectfully declined. I wouldn’t choose New York over you”
She shakes her head, moving to the opposite corner. “What worries me is how easily you are taking decisions, important decisions, without even talking to me first”
He exhales, mimicking her position from before. “What is the big deal about this, Fallon? You used to do it all the time”
“And you hated it. Every single time” she yells “So forgive me if I’m confused that now you think it is acceptable to behave in the exact same way you always despised”
“I didn’t despise anything” he defends himself “Okay, so why don’t you tell me the reason you’re acting like this and we can work this out and eat a nice dinner together?” he proposes crossing his arms while glaring at the brunette. “Our main course is almost ready”
She looks away, biting her lips, deciding if it was worth to say what was on her mind.
They could have a nice dinner like he just said, and she could follow the plans she had made for that night.
But she could feel her heart racing inside her dress and knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it for any longer.
“Why didn’t you come to me?” She blurts out and he arches a brow “You know Fallon Unlimited has a journalism division. It’s small but it could grow, especially with you in it. So why didn’t you come to me?”
Her voice breaks at the last word but she lifts her chin high, not letting her hurt show.
He nods, getting her point and how upset she was. “Yes, I do know that. But I didn’t want to ask you. I wanted to get it by myself. It was important for me to do things on my way” his tone is soft but it doesn’t sooth her.
“So it’s okay to rely on Ashley to get you your dream job, but not on your wife?” She frowns.
He shakes his head. “It’s not that, Fallon”
“Then tell me what it is” she pleads “Why Ashley, Liam?”
He groans, leaning away from the counter. “Please, tell me you’re not insinuating what I think you are”
“You tell me. After all, Ashley is on your speed dial now, not me”
He laughs a humorless laugh. “Do you even listen yourself?” he asks surprised with her line of thought “When did I ever gave you any reason to not trust me?”
“We are living in different houses, Liam” she states, raising her tone “We barely see each other and you reached out to your ex instead of me. Can you honestly tell me I’m reading things in the wrong way here?”
“Yes, you are. Because, I don’t run to another woman when things get hard” he shouts back and she laughs.
“Oh, that’s rich coming from you, considering you’re the one that disappeared on the first shot you got”
“I got a room in a hotel. I didn’t find comfort in anyone’s arms” he yells and immediately regrets the words that left his mouth.
He closes his eyes, rubbing his face and Fallon shakes her head. “There you go” she mutters, staring at his fridge, digesting what she just heard.
“I didn’t mean that” he says after a while, his voice lower than before.
“It appears you don’t mean a lot of things tonight”
He groans. “I’m sorry, Fallon. I really am. I said I wanted to try again but it’s not like I can forget what happened in the past”
She can hear Crystal in her head, from the conversations they shared the other night.
“But I still have that annoying voice in my head, telling me to track him down when he comes home late or doesn’t answers my calls. Not because I’m possessive of him, but because I remember what happened in the past”
That night, she wondered if Liam had the same voice in his head. And now she knows that he does.
“You don’t trust me anymore” she states and he keeps quiet. “I get it, and you have all the right to not to. But I’m trying really hard to show you how sorry I am. To change my ways so you can trust me again and we can go back to where we stopped. But I need you to let me in, because you are definitely not helping with this attitude”
“You think I don’t know that?” he asks frustrated “I want to try and save this marriage because I love you. But I’m going against every cell in my body that keeps telling me to not open up again. My instinct is telling me to go and never come back” he admits pointing to the door.
“So why don’t you listen to it?” She dares.
“Because I love you” he admits defeated.
“But you don’t trust me” she concludes.
It stings. More than anything she ever felt. But it’s finally out.
“You did it once, why can’t you do it now? You did it so easily with Eva” the words escape her mouth and the damage is done.
She wanted to forget that woman ever existed. She made a promise to herself, that name would never leave her mouth again. Just like the other male name she would never speak again.
But she was Fallon, as much as she tries to keep control of herself, the more she loses it.
“You can’t possibly use this argument with me”
Since she couldn’t take her words back, she might as well get things off her chest. “Why not? We should be talking about Eva, considering the amount of work she put to draw us apart. And she succeeded”
“Oh, no. Don’t put the blame on her”
“Great. Now you’re back to defending her. Should I admit you to the same asylum she’s in?” she offers ironic.
“She is not a sane person, Fallon”
“And you are so great reading people that you missed that fact, probably too distracted enjoying all the activities you did with her, and not your wife. Maybe you should’ve spent even more time with her, so you could see the crazy eyes she was giving me while saying every single she did to destroy our marriage” she remembers that night vividly. The only good thing that came out of it was when she slammed Eva’s head on the table.
“You say that like I was the one having an affair and not you” she looks away, caught off guard “And she was just there, offering me company, after many and many times being stood up by you. She was interested in me and in the things I do, unlike you. But I didn’t sleep with her”
She intervenes. “That’s not true. I am interested about you”
“Did you forget the time you hired my friend to spend time with me? So I wouldn’t bother you?”
“I told you I didn’t want you to feel neglected” she whines.
“No, no, no. You did that because I wanted to be with you while you didn’t” he sighs, calming down “And I understood. You were busy, building your own empire and I couldn’t be in the way of that, so I just kept making excuses to every single time I wanted you by my side and I couldn’t have it, because you needed your space to do your thing and what kind of husband would I be if I didn’t support you?” he asks rhetorically and she can feel the guilt weighing on her chest “Eva is a sociopath but she wasn’t wrong when she said I kept forgiving you, over and over, just for it to happen again. And I know now that pushing you for a change wasn’t the right thing, because that’s just who you are. That was the Fallon I fell in love with. I realized how wrong I was, and for that, I’m sorry. So I decided to take a step back, to revalue what I was doing and return a better husband for you”
He looks down, and not being able to see his face scared her.
“You said that Eva told you you got a call from a lawyer” he starts, and she closes her eyes, aware of the direction their conversation was taking. “You said you did it because you thought our marriage was over. So why you turned to him and didn’t tried to give us another chance?” he asks low.
“Liam –“
“No” he shakes his head, interrupting her “You asked me earlier why Ashley and not you, so I’m just returning you the question. Why did you sleep with him, Fallon?” he asks, pausing at every word like they were hurting him and she can’t hold her tears. “You ran to him, and not me. In a scenario where I was actually filing for divorce, you chose to give up. You, of all people, that repeats over and over about not backing down, about not giving up, ended up doing it with me”
She dries her face with the back of her hand, trying to find the right words. And when they don’t appear, she gets desperate.
He sighs, looking up. His face is tired and she hates herself for being the one responsible for it. “Just tell me. I’m a big boy. I can take the truth”
“It was a mistake, Liam”
“You already said that”
“But is still the truth” she cries “It meant nothing and I thought you were leaving me and I spiraled. This is exactly what I do when I lose control. You know me, you know this is how I react”
He shakes his head. “I thought I did. Because the Fallon I thought I married could act a little crazy sometimes, but that was okay. After all, you loved me, and you were always faithful to the ones you loved. I used to admire the way you fought for people. Steven, Sam, your dad. So I had the confidence that you would do the same for me” He shrugs.
She bites her lips, feeling the taste of her lipstick and her salty tears.
They are back to that night, the one he said things were over. His eyes are watering again, and she’s left speechless.
Suddenly, she’s back in the manor. She and Steven are kids, hearing Alexis and Blake fight again. Her mother had just found out another one of her father’s affairs and the yelling got so loud, Steven took Fallon’s hand and dragged her to her closet. He hugged her tight, and in a way of filling the silence and absorb the screams, he kept fantasizing about their future. A house with no yelling and no cheating. A home built on trust and love. Something they never had.
They made a promise, that they wouldn’t turn in to their parents. Never.
And she repeated that same sentence as a request to Liam, so they wouldn’t turn in to Blake and Alexis or Laura and John.
They were too good for it. And they could never hurt each other like that, their love was too special and unique for it. But apparently they weren’t.
Fallon and her mother never had a good relationship. Alexis never tried enough and Fallon got used to it, to live without her presence. But they still bonded, after shopping or after Blake’s affairs.
After the yelling stopped, Fallon would always go in to her parents bedroom. She would sneak in after Blake stormed out, to sleep in another bedroom or a hotel, and find Alexis on their bed. Her eyes would be red, her make up stained, and she would be sniffing, seating on the mattress while staring at her wedding ring. And Fallon would walk in, seat next to her, and hug her, until the crying stopped. That usually happened around two hours after their fight, when Alexis’s tranquilizers would do their thing.
She used to lie down with her mother, and watch her peaceful sleep, wondering how much Alexis would take before leaving.
And Fallon never told anyone, but she hated everytime Alexis stayed. She couldn’t believe how little Alexis’s self love could be when compared to her love for Blake.
Fallon despised her behavior of insisting on something that only brought her pain.
She hated the expression her mother had on her face when Fallon would walk in to their bedroom. The same expression she saw on Liam’s face, the night he found out about Collin. Then, it hit her.
She was Blake, and Liam was Alexis. And they were repeating the same pattern she swore she wouldn’t repeat.
So much for trying. But not anymore. Fallon takes a deep breath, gathering enough courage to do what seemed right in her mind.
“You were right” she admits, not believing her own words. “I didn’t do my part” she shrugs, sniffing “I failed. I didn’t fight the way I should because I always took you, our marriage for granted. Truth is, I never thought marriage would be so hard, that it would take that much effort. And I wasn’t ready. We weren’t ready” she takes a deep breath, trying to calm her heart “That’s why... when I leave here, I’m calling my lawyers”
As soon as Liam hears the words, it feels like the floor disappeared under his feet.
“Fallon –“ he tries but she shakes her head, adamant.
“It’s the only way, Liam”
“A divorce is not the answer you are looking for here, Fallon” he yells, getting near her. He takes her hand, enveloping with his. “I know what I said but I still love you. I still want to try”
“You don’t trust me” she exclaims.
“It’s a process! It won’t happen overnight, but it will” he counters, his other hand caressing her wet cheeks.
She looks down, staring their wedding rings together. “The sad part about this is that I actually know that you will” she lifts her chin up “You are this wonderful person. I used to say it was a miracle that you fell in love with me. So this is why I can’t do this with you”
“What do you mean? Fallon, you’re not doing anything” he dries her tears with his thumb “Let me rephrase that, I can see how much you are trying here, and you don’t know how grateful I am. And I’m trying too. I know you’re getting impatient but we’re almost there” he whispers in a cheerful tone.
“We promised we weren’t turn in to our parents”
“And we aren’t” he smiles “We couldn’t be more different than them”
“No, we are doing exactly like them” she pushes his chest, putting some distance between them “I behaved like Blake and we kept insisting on it, just like they did” She sighs “I never wanted to hurt you like I did”
“Fallon –“
“I know I’ve broken my promises to you, but at least this one I’m keeping” she caresses his face, feeling his beard scratch her hand and taking her time, memorizing the details, aware the opportunity wouldn’t repeat itself. “We are not turning in to them. And we aren’t turning in to them because I’m breaking the cycle”
She moves away, taking her distance while Liam stays put, not believing her words.
He shakes his head, after realizing how serious her statement was. “We are not getting a divorce, Fallon”
“Yes, we are”
“No, we aren’t” he exclaims taking a step forward while she takes one back, keeping their distance. “This was not what we talked about. We agreed to try again, remember?”
“Agreements change all the time, Liam” she speaks in a flat tone, blinking fast so her tears wouldn’t cloud her vision.
“Not this one” his hand goes to his hair, messing it in a signal of despair “This is something we both need to discuss, and this, is not discussing. This is you taking a decision, a bad one, for both of us. And this is not what I want”
“But it’s what I want”
Her words shake him, the amount of certainty on it making his hands go cold and his heart beat faster.
She couldn’t be serious.
That couldn’t be the same woman who was interrogating him about his ex, the same woman who said she wanted to be with him for the rest of their lives.
It couldn’t be his Fallon.
But she was. And being a writer gave him certainty that words couldn’t describe how destroyed his heart was at the moment.
“If this is about New York or this damn apartment, I’ll take whatever you have to offer in your company and I’ll move back to the manor tonight. And I promise I’ll erase Ashley off my life, like she never even existed. I’ll do whatever you want me to do, just please... please, Fallon, don’t do this” he begs, his eyes watering and she hates herself even more for being the reason behind his sad face.
She bites her down lip hard, focusing on the pain and swallowing her want of hugging him. Fallon exhales and lifts her chin. It’s time for her to end this for good. “It has nothing to do with New York or Ashley. And I’ve made my decision”
“Then I won’t sign it” he puts his feet down and Fallon closes her eyes, wishing he could make things easier.
“You will” she states, crossing her arms “I’ve told you, I made a mistake. I wasn’t ready and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it. So, if you love me, you will sign those papers and you will let me go”
She starts walking back to the living room, picking her coat and bag from the armchair.
“Fallon” Liam calls her name, following her “Don’t walk away, this conversation is not over” he grabs her wrist when she goes for the door, missing her wincing, not because he was hurting her, but because she couldn’t wait to leave that place. “We need to talk” he insists and when she turns to him, her eyes are pure ice and he knows it’s done.
“Let me go” she whispers eyeing his hand and he obeys, dropping his arms next to his body, defeated. She puts her black coat and adjusts the purse on her shoulder. “I’ll text you after my lawyers are done”
Her heels echoes to the door, where she stops after opening it, grateful he’s not following or looking at her. “You should take that job in New York. It’s a great opportunity and even though it might seem scary, you should do it” she says and Fallon doesn’t know if the advice is for him or for her.
She closes the door behind her and feels proud of herself when she doesn’t break down at the elevator.
She drives home, enjoying the silence inside her red Porsche and how calm the roads were.
After parking, Fallon grabs her purse and walks slowly to the big wooden door, the same door she walked out from that morning confident, sure of her actions and her ability to get her marriage back on track.
Now, she closes the door as a single woman.
Fallon leans on the wood, her eyes unfocused and she felt like her legs couldn’t move anymore. That’s why she didn’t budge when she heard footsteps coming to the foyer, too paralyzed to react.
“Nice of you to join us this night” Blake starts ironic, strolling down, too focused on his phone to notice his broken daughter. “Not that you would care to know but my press conference was a disaster and besides the political scandal, now I have investors threatening to pull out their money of PPA because neither my daughters wanted to help me. I hope you’re happy with yourself”
When she doesn’t give him one of her sassy remarks he was so used to, Blake looks up turning serious after realizing that in front of him, was not his usual Fallon.
“Fallon? What happened?” he asks frowning, worried about his daughter state.
She finally looks up, and this time Fallon can’t hold her tears anymore. Her purse slips to the floor. Her body starts trembling with the sobbing and Blake rushes to her, wrapping his arms around her small frame, her cries next to his left ear.
“Hey, what happened?” he repeats the question, this time softer, caressing her hair with one hand while the other was keeping her close to him.
“It’s over. Liam and I are over” she says between sobs and he frowns.
“But I thought you had a date tonight with him. That things were good again” he tries soothing her.
“I ruined” she whines, lifting her hands to grab his grey suit, laying her head on his shoulder. “I ruined everything”
“I bet this is not true”
“It’s over” she repeats sobbing “It’s over, daddy”
Listening her broken cries makes Blake hug her tighter, trying to bring her the comfort he knew he wouldn’t be able to provide.
It feels like so long since he heard her calling him daddy. And Fallon never cries. At least, never to him.
She was never the kind of child that would run to her parents, asking for help or attention. Probably because they were never around to tend to her needs but she was ever his independent girl, his overachiever, his pride, even though he never said this words to her.
She was smart and sassy and never needed him for anything in her life. That’s why, seeing her like this, this broken, for the first time, scared him.
His daughter, his unbreakable girl, had her heart torned apart by a boy and he never felt more powerless than now.
Needing her to feel better, he whispers hush sounds in her ear and brushes a kiss on her forehead. “Shush, Fallon... Everything will be alright. I promise you, everything will be alright”
He keeps repeating it like a mantra, for her, for him.
And while they both stand on the doorway, him holding her while she cries, he makes a silent prayer in his head, hoping that indeed, everything will be alright.
You have given me something that I can't live without
You mustn't underestimate that when you are in doubt
But I don't want to carry on like everything is fine
The longer we ignore it all, the more that we will fight
Please, don't fall apart
I can't face your breaking heart I'm trying to be brave
Stop asking me to stay
I can't love you in the dark
It feels like we're oceans apart
There is so much space between us
Maybe we're already defeated
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Everything changed me
Notes:
For those still reading this, I'm sorry it took me so long to update this but is finally here.
Don't worry, this a falliam story so this is just a bump on the road.
Tell me your thoughts and if I exaggerated on the drama because I know I can get too much with it 😂
And for those that leave a kudo or comment or subscribe or bookmark this story, thank you ❤ this chapter is for you ❤
Chapter 8: Close To You
Notes:
Hello
Anyone still there?I'm not watching season 5 but I did get some spoilers, and I'm just saying this so you know this is not based on this season, it's all from my head.
And I saw that Dynasty is not getting renewed, needless to say I'm sad but I'm still hoping for the best.
This chapter is based on the song Close to You by Rihanna
See you down there
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Nothing but a tear, that's all for breakfast
Watching you pretend you're unaffected
You're pulling our connections, expecting me to let you go
But I won't
No you don't need my protection
But I'm in love, can't blame me for checking
I look in your direction, hoping that the message goes
Somewhere close to you
Close to you
Like so close if they hurt you, you wouldn't find out
Just say now, I'm coming right now, to be close to you
Amanda knocks three times at the wooden door, before entering and frowning with the scene in front of her.
Fallon was seating on her bed, wearing her black Givenchy dress, applying her red lipstick then checking her things inside her purse.
“I thought you would be sleeping right now, I came to ask you for breakfast. What are you doing up?” the blonde asks walking slowly to her sister, who doesn’t stop to look up. “Aren’t you tired? We landed less than a day ago, the jet lag is still killing me”
“I can’t afford to be tired. These past three weeks had been great but I can’t spend much more time away from my company” Fallon replies, now typing something on her phone.
Amanda frowns. “I thought you were doing that in London”
“I was, but the American base needs my attention, more than my European one. And three weeks was enough to make me miss my baby”
After spending her night crying in her father’s arms, Fallon decided she needed a break. She desired a moment away from the house she lived in, her workplace and the people surrounding her, so she booked the jet and called her assistant to clear her schedule for the next three weeks. She walked in to the jet, ready to forget about her own life for a few days, only focusing on work, when she saw Amanda sitting on Fallon’s usual place, sending her a warm smile.
“I won’t let you go away to another country all by yourself when I know how broken you are right now” That’s were Amanda’s words when her sister asked what she was doing there.
Too tired to form a reply, Fallon just nodded and they used their flight to drown their sorrows in tequila. Or at least, that’s what Fallon did while Amanda just followed her lead.
Their flight was basically a preview of what happened once they landed in London. Fallon divided her time going back and forward to Scotland, to supervise the construction of her European base while Amanda decided to visit some relatives. And in their free time, they would hit the pubs absorbing as much alcohol as they could. Amanda was actually surprised her liver was still working after all that booze.
They had a great time and managed to bond, over alcoholic drinks and loneliness, but now Fallon knew what having a sister meant.
The brunette stands up, looking for any wrinkles that might ruin her look and she gestures to her dress.
“What do you think?”
“Of what?” Amanda frowns.
“My dress” Fallon rolls her eyes, turning around “Do I look good?” she asks insecure when Amanda doesn’t reply.
“Perfect” she compliments with a smile and Fallon sighs, putting her red Louboutin on. “This can’t be only for work. You don’t have a date later, right? Because if you do, I might lose five hundred dollars to Sam”
“You two are making bets about my love life?” Fallon asks offended while going to her walk in closet. “And why would you bet against me? I thought we had a nice time together in London” she whines, walking back to her room with her Burberry trench coat on her arms.
Amanda sighs, plopping down at the bed. “I didn’t bet against you. But in London, everytime a man tried to talk to you, you would run away as if they had the plague”
Fallon shrugs, picking her iPad. “I’m trying to stay away from men with British accents. They never did me any good” she mutters, checking her emails.
“And you’re still wearing your wedding band. And your engagement ring, I see” Amanda points to her peach diamond ring.
Fallon stops for a few seconds, eyeing her left hand and those said rings. She takes a deep breath, closing her hand in a fist, trying to erase the hollow feeling in her chest.
“This is my last day wearing them. I’ll give them back to their previously owner. Later today” she gulps down, deciding to focus on her tablet and not her beating heart.
“You’re meeting with Liam today?” Amanda asks softly.
“I am. The divorce papers are done so there’s no point of prolonging this any longer. And after today, I’ll be a single woman again” Fallon sings plastering a fake smile on her face.
“Now I get the dress” Amanda muses and Fallon chuckles.
“Yeah, this is my version of Diana’s revenge dress” she tries to joke but Amanda doesn’t laugh.
“Fallon, are you sure this is what you want? Because I don’t think this is the right decision for you to make” the blonde tilts her head to watch her sister carefully, not missing the way she looked down to avoid being seen.
“But it is”
“Fallon –“
“No, Amanda” Fallon stops her, raising her chin “You didn’t saw his face or how broken he was. And it was because of me. I did that to him” her voice breaks at the end and Amanda leans forward to take her free hand “I know what I’m capable of... of how much destruction I can cause. But if I can be poison, I can also make an antidote. And that’s what I’m giving him this afternoon”
“He loves you, Fallon” she states, squeezing her hand “He didn’t stop calling while we were overseas and I bet the only reason he didn’t fly over is because you threatened everyone to not tell him where you were” Fallon pulls her hand away, not comfortable with the touch anymore so Amanda tries in a calmer way. “He’s in pain, anyone can see that”
“I know. I was the one that caused it” Fallon says ironic, putting her iPad in her purse.
“And do you honestly think that a divorce is the solution for this problem?” Amanda asks skeptical “Because from where I stand, this will only hurt you both more”
Fallon exhales, turning to her. “I thought you had my back. Three weeks with me and this is the time you find appropriate to talk about how wrong I am?”
“I was just trying to be a supportive sister, which doesn’t mean I agree with your actions”
“Well, I don’t need your support” she counters, grabbing her purse “I’m ending things for good in a few hours. I’m taking my freedom back and I’ll be giving Liam’s too. This is the only way. It may be hard, but no one can accuse me of not being brave enough to do the right thing. So enough of this talk”
“And this is what you’re going to do? Drown yourself into work so you can forget about the enormous mistake you’re about to do?” Amanda asks ironic and Fallon huffs.
“Yes, this is exactly what I’m about to do. Because I realized I suck at marriages but work is something I’m really good at. And this finishes our conversation for the day”
She starts making her exit when Amanda calls her name, but Fallon doesn’t bother stopping or turning to her sister.
“Can we at least eat breakfast together?”
“I don’t eat breakfast with fake supportive sisters” she yells from the corridor and Amanda rolls her eyes, laying down.
“My relationship with drunk Fallon was so much easier” she mutters, closing her eyes for a minute and trying to forget about the drama.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Fallon strolls back to her office with a satisfied smile on her face. She had spent her morning in and out of meetings, almost making her lose lunch.
She was in her element, and nothing could be more fulfilling for her than that.
But her smile dies out when Fallon sees Liam sitting on her leather chair, behind her desk, staring at the photograph she put next to her computer.
It was one from their honeymoon. Her skin was great, tanned and her hair looked amazing. Probably a result of the amount of sex they had at the Bahamas.
She was wearing a white dress and they were smiling at his iPhone, right after eating a delicious dinner and they were ready to go back to their room but Liam suggested a walk under the moonlight.
She used to love stare at it when her day was long and all she could think was going home to him.
Now is just a sad memory for her. For him too, giving the flat expression he was wearing on his face.
The sound of her heels break his trance, making Liam look up. “Hey” she starts soft, walking slowly to him “You’re early”
“And you’re here”
Fallon frowns. “It’s my company, why wouldn’t I be here?”
“I don’t know” he shrugs, getting up “After three weeks of you not answering my calls or my texts, denying every contact from me or any chance of me fighting this, I thought you would want to skip this too. Maybe just send your lawyers and get this over with”
“I needed a break... some fresh air”
“Couldn’t you do that in the same continent as me? How was London by the way?” He asks wry, surprising her.
“You knew where I was?”
“Of course I knew, Fallon” he says tired “You’re my wife and you’re not the only one with connections. I found out where you were on your first week out”
“And you didn’t fly over to London” she states, her mind going everywhere, trying to make the ‘why’ he didn’t do it.
Yes, she did hide her location from him because she didn’t want to be found. But hearing Liam knew where she was and didn’t do anything about it... that hurt her on a whole another level. Maybe she finally got her wish coming true, after all.
He laughs a humorless laugh. “I thought about it. And I almost did it but I figured you could use some time to clear your head, change your mind about what you said to me last time we saw each other” he shrugs “Now imagine my surprise when I received a call from your team of lawyers, saying the papers were ready and asking me when I could come to your office to sign it”
Fallon stays silence. Now he knows how she felt when Eva lied to her, in this same office, months ago.
A part of her feels glad. Putting him in her shoes could help him understand what happened inside her head that day.
But it also saddens her, because Fallon still remembers the pain, the sensation of feeling lost and out of control, knowing the one person she loved was leaving her. And that, she didn’t wish for anyone to feel it.
Liam leaves his place, walking slowly to her. “I was ready to fight it, Fallon. Fight you, because a divorce was not what I wanted. But then it struck me, of how serious you were, that you didn’t want to be found... not by anyone, but by me” He sighs, putting his hands inside his pockets “Even with an ocean between us, I knew you were hurting. And it was because of me. And I figured I could insist, try harder, but then, I realized I might hurt you even more doing it, and that is one thing I never intended to do with you. You have to know that even on our worst days, I never planned to hurt you, Fal... That’s why I’m here. To give you what you want, even if it’s something I don’t want to do”
By the time he finishes, Fallon feels her throat tight, and she has to blink fast to keep her tears away.
Even with her causing him pain, Liam was trying to avoid hurting her. He was being her Liam. And God, how she still loved her Liam.
Fallon keeps quiet, not knowing what to say without making things more complicate, but is saved by the bell, with her lawyer knocking on her glass door.
“Good. You’re both here” he greets walking in, making himself comfortable on her couch. He puts a blue folder on the coffee table and a pen. “Let’s start, shall we?” he nods pointing to the pair of armchairs in front of him.
Fallon follows his lead and Liam imitates her. “So let me go through all the paperwork with you, then you two can sign it”
And he does, explaining every page carefully but Fallon doesn’t listen. Neither does Liam. All they want is for the nightmare to end.
When he’s done, they stay put, nobody moving to take the pen. So noticing the air, he stands up. “I’ll give you two some privacy. I’ll be right outside” he says, leaving the room.
After counting until thirty in her head, Fallon shifts to face Liam, who keeps staring at the coffee table like it was going to attack him at any time.
“I don’t know what to say right now” she starts, her voice hoarse from the tears she was still holding “I should know, considering this is our second divorce, but I don’t” she shrugs “I just hope that you find it in your heart to forgive me, for all the bad things I did, for everything I did that made you hate me. And... I’m really sorry, Liam. For everything” she goes for the pen, signing her name where her lawyer told her to do.
She leaves the pen where she found it, expecting Liam to pick it, but he stays still.
“I could never hate you, Fallon. I never did and I don’t think I’m capable of ever hating you in my life” he leans to grab the pen, toying with it “I love you, and that’s why I’m doing this. And I’m sorry too. I’m sorry if I ever made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin, if you ever felt the need to change who you are just to please me, or if I didn’t make you feel enough love, making you question our marriage or my feelings for you... I wish I could have made things in a different way, but if there’s one thing I don’t regret, is you, Fallon” he says staring at her blue eyes. And when he leans to sign his name, he misses a tear that escapes her eyes, or her devastated look.
When he’s done, Liam stands up, and she mimics him. He searches for something inside his blazer and passes a yellow envelope to her. “This is for you”
She arches an eyebrow before taking the envelope from his hands. “What is this? Another book about us?” She tries to joke, removing the papers inside of it. “This is a deed...” she starts reading when she widens her eyes. “Liam...”
“I bought you a house. More specifically –“
“Wrightwood Drive, 525” she interrupts him, reading the deed.
He got Fallon her dream house. The one she wished she could live in, with her new happy family, not with her lousy parents. But the one she always fantasized about.
The one house she tried to buy years ago, with a fake husband and fake kids, but failed at the process.
But he didn’t.
“How did you do it?” She asks still amazed, looking up to see him with a small smile on his face.
“Esther Winslow is not an easy women to convince. Especially after the stunt you put years ago, but I found a way in”
“I thought she had sold the house to that family we saw talking to her. I thought it was gone”
He shakes his head. “After what you did she decided not to sell the house. I think you might have traumatized her” he jokes and she rolls her eyes “But I had a lot of free time these past months. So I went for a visit, explained to her why the house meant so much for you and showed her pictures of us, to prove we were a real couple and not a fake one like the last time. After a few visits, she sold it to me” He shrugs, leaving her speechless.
“Oh my God, Liam...”
“I know that when we got married and I brought the subject of moving out, you were against it. And I understood you, after all Carrington manor was the only home you’ve ever known in your life. But when you talked about this house, your eyes would have this spark... I knew what it meant to you, so I guessed that if you ever had to move out the manor again, you could only move in to Wrightwood Drive, 525. I wouldn’t want to force you or anything, but I wanted you to know you had a place to call yours”
She shakes her head, putting the papers back inside. “I can’t accept this”
Fallon dreamed with a house full of love. It was the fictional family she used to dream having that made the house magic.
A house without love is just walls with a roof. She knows that very well, growing up in one. She desired a home. And that, she couldn’t have it anymore. Not without Liam.
“Fallon –“
“No, I can’t. You bought it so you can keep it” she tries to push the envelope in his way.
“I didn’t do it for me, Fallon. It’s not my name on the deed. It’s yours. It was yours, even before Esther sold it to me”
She felt like that too. It was hers. And maybe, this could be the one thing she can keep from Liam that no one can take it away from her.
“I don’t know what to say” she speaks, her eyes watering again, holding the envelope against her chest like her life depended on it.
“I don’t need you to say anything” he shrugs “This was supposed to be my gift to you, for our first anniversary. It could be our fresh start. But I thought you could still make some good use of it, or you could sell it. I don’t know”
Her heart is beating so fast inside her chest that Fallon actually thinks she might faint, or throw up at any time.
When she doesn’t speak, Liam finds it as an opportunity to leave. “Have a nice life, Fallon Carrington”
She closes her eyes so she won’t see him leaving, this time, out of her life for good. But she can still hear his steps, making her heart sinks even deeper at every step he takes.
She plops down at her couch, still holding the deed in her hands. She ignores when the lawyer walks in to retrieve the divorce papers, or when her assistant tells her she has an important client trying to reach her.
The world around her is just a blur, and she’s too numb to react to it.
And that’s how Amanda finds her, when hours later, her sister decides to stop by after noticing Fallon hadn’t arrive for dinner.
“Fallon? Are you okay?” She asks carefully, watching the brunette still staring at the papers on her lap.
“No” Fallon shakes her head.
“Can I do anything for you?” Amanda offers, sitting next to her but Fallon shakes her head again. “You’re still wearing the rings I see” she comments.
“I’ve made a mistake. A big one. Again. And I can’t go back. Not this time”
“Fallon...”
“He never gave up on us. Even when I did, he didn’t” she mutters, finally letting go of the envelope, laying it to her side. “What have I done, Amanda?” She asks desperate, turning to the blonde.
“From what you said this morning, you did the right thing” she suggests.
“So why I don’t feel good? Why do I feel like someone just stole my heart from inside of my chest? Why does it hurt so much?”
Amanda sends her a condescending smile. “Because, contrary to what you may think, you don’t know everything, Fallon. You’re human, which allows you to make mistakes. And in my opinion, you were wrong about the divorce and you are just starting to realize it”
“Oh my God” she starts to pant.
“Fallon –“ Amanda tries to speak but Fallon stands up, interrupting her. The brunette picks her purse and her coach, storming to the door. “Fallon, where are you going?”
“I can’t stand to stay in this place anymore” she yells not looking back, leaving a confused Amanda behind.
Fallon gets inside her car and stays put, realizing she didn’t have a plan on what to do now. She was panicking.
It was not her first time. She used to have a lot of episodes like this when she was little but Steven was always there to calm her through it.
He was her safe place. He was her home.
And when Fallon left Paris, leaving her brother in an institution, she knew she was leaving her home behind.
But Liam showed up again, and he became her new home. And now, she was homeless again.
Maybe this meant it was time for her to grow up. After all, she was an adult. A billionaire adult. She shouldn’t need anyone. She was a self- sufficient woman and she could achieve anything she set her head on.
The rational part of her brain was replaying this like a broken record inside her head. She’s Fallon Carrington. She doesn’t need anyone.
But the part of her brain couldn’t understand the message, so her hands started shaking, her breathing was uneven and she felt like she could throw up.
She starts the car, blinking fast to stop the tears that were fogging her view, and starts driving. First, on the streets around her company. Then, away from the neighborhood.
Her brain is on automatic while she tries to control her breathing, realizing that if she didn’t let the oxygen get to her brain, she might faint at any minute and provoke an accident.
And before she realizes, she arrived at her destination. She parks sloppily and runs to the glass door.
She presses the button a hundred times before the metallic doors open and she walks inside the elevator.
And when those doors open, she rushes to another kind of door, knocking desperately, hoping there’s someone inside.
Fallon feels like her prays are answered when Liam opens the door frowning.
“Fallon?”
She barely gives him time to elaborate another sentence, marching inside his apartment, closing the door behind her.
“What is this?” he asks confused, taking a step back so he wouldn’t get in her way. “Listen, if you’re here to plan another divorce party, you can count me out”
“Shut up, Liam” she snaps. She takes a step forward, getting closer to him, closer enough so she can feel his perfume, the one she bought it for him. “You still love me, right?”
He huffs, shaking his head. “Is this some kind of a joke to you? Do you enjoy playing with my head?”
“Just answer me” she begs “Do you still love me, Liam?”
He sighs, diverting his look, then moving back to her. “Of course I still love you, Fallon... You know I never stopped loving you”
“That’s all I needed to know” she says grabbing his shirt, pulling him to him for a desperate kiss. One he responds with a fervor that equals hers, wrapping his arms around her waist, bringing her closer.
Maybe, this could be our goodbye kiss, she thinks. This could be their closure. So now, all she had to do was walk away, get back to her car and her not-so-miserable life without him. But she doesn’t.
Her hands fly to the back of his neck, where she grabs his hair, pushing his face away from her enough so she can bite his under lip.
He uses the opportunity to voice her name, shaking his head. “Fallon...”
But she’s not in the mood to talk. “Please, shut up, Liam” Fallon captures his lips again, and this time, he obeys her.
Slowly, and with clumsy steps, they go to his bedroom, and with the movement, their clothes start to leave their bodies. First her stilettos, then his shirt, following her dress and finally his pants. By the time they arrive at the bed, both are only with their underwear still on.
Starting from that moment, their night is filled with moans, shivers and breathless mentions of each other’s names.
And when they get too tired to move, she enjoys the silence of the room to slip next to his body, laying her head on his chest and her left hand, the one with her wedding band, next to her head.
When his breathing gets synchronized, she knows he fell asleep, and with that assurance, she closes her eyes, ready to join him.
Now, she was in peace. Now, she was home.
Said you let it go, you kept it
Working hard to perfect it
Now your fear is reckless, and it's out of your control
Would you let it go?
No you don't need my protection
But I'm in love, can't blame me for checking
I look in your direction, hoping that the message goes
Somewhere close to you
Close to you
Like so close if they hurt you, you wouldn't find out
If you let me, I'd be there by now
Close to you
Notes:
So yes, they are-but-are-not together just because anything related to Fallon is complicated.
I need your opinion on the 'soundtrack' of this story, since every chapter is based on a song. Are you guys enjoying my selection?? If you have any song that remind you of falliam, leave on the comments please, I'm in need of them.
Tell me your thoughts about this chapter
And my gratitude for those who leave comments or kudos ❤️ this story is for you
See you next chapter ❤️
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