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Allison sits on the porch stairs while Patty paces above her. Neil has been bandaged and has gone into the house to rest. Patty has to wake him every hour to ensure he doesn’t have a concussion.
Patty was used to cleaning up messes for the people in her life. She had mopped him up and then returned to help Allison. She found her here - the kitchen having been tidied already.
Patty turns to start another lap. They haven’t spoken yet. She isn’t sure where to start.
Allison looks up at her and opens her mouth, just for a moment. Then closes her lips tight with an almost invisible shake of her head.
“What?”
There it is again. Spoken softly but full of so much. And Allison ignores the question’s original meaning – answers as if Patty is only asking her what she was going to say in this moment.
“Did you really mean what you said?”
“Which part?”
“That Tammy was the only person you had.”
Patty sits down with a heavy sigh.
“Yes.”
Allison frowns and looks at her fingers twisting in her lap.
“You have to understand something. Until a few years ago, I pretty much just had Neil. And his first priority was always Kevin. I never really had Kevin, because Kevin’s first priority was always Kevin.”
Allison snorts pointedly.
“Exactly. So, a few years ago, Kurt came along. And he never…I never…it was never a red-hot love affair. And he never really saw me. But he still picked me. He wanted me.”
Patty fidgets around and digs in her pockets before realizing she no longer carries cigarettes. She sighs again.
“You and me, we’ve become friends. Maybe even…” Her breath catches for a moment and she shakes her head to clear it. “But I’m not your priority, Allison.”
Allison looks ready to object so Patty raises her hands in a gesture to calm her so she can finish.
“You have Kevin. Even if you are not his priority, he is still yours. Maybe not in tending to his every need like you used to do, but this relationship still consumes you. Everything you do is focused on him. Everything.”
Allison is quiet now, thoughtful. They sit in silence for a few moments together, both lost in thought.
“Obviously it was always going to be complicated with Tammy. And there are facts she doesn’t know about me. But I felt like she saw me. Much more than Kurt ever did. More than anyone has for a long time. And not how I could clean up a mess. And not how I could sit next to her and eat fucking kale. And not how I could help her to escape her life.”
Patty looks at Allison now, really looks, and waits to continue until Allison meets her eye.
“It’s not just mutually assured destruction anymore. For me anyway. You are important to me. I just busted a bottle over my only living family member’s head for Christ’s sake.”
Allison smiles in that way that breaks over her face like waves on the shore – inevitable, beautiful, and terrifying in its power.
Patty’s lip twitches but she resists the urge to smile back.
“But until all this with Kevin is done, you can’t be a person who chooses me. And I may have fucked that up with Tammy now, but that is what I want. I want to be someone’s number one. That is something I’m allowed to want. Eventually. With someone.”
Allison has tamed her smile but it threatens to break loose again. Her eyes sparkle but she nods seriously. She nudges Patty with her shoulder and mumbles, “I want that for you too.” Her eyes drop to Patty’s lips for one heartbeat before meeting her eyes again. “With someone.”
They sit together in silence, once again, but it feels like the air after a rainstorm – clean and light and no longer pregnant with threatening humidity. After a moment, Allison threads her arm through Patty’s, who links their fingers together loosely.