Chapter Text
The group of boys were walking home. Raph having finally corralled his brothers toward the lair after a long day. Mikey wanted paints and spices, so they’d gone to the Hidden City to see if they could find anything. Which led to Leo getting sidetracked by a competition he saw as they explored. Which led to Raph and Donnie scrambling to pull him out of trouble just as Mikey somehow got in a fight with one of the store keepers.
How they didn’t get arrested will forever be a surprise to the Snapper.
Mikey and Leo ran ahead, still seemingly full of energy and talking about dinner ideas. Raph didn’t really care and wasn't keen on listening to the conversation. Opting to go to his room until dinner was ready. Needing some peace and quiet.
However, the universe and Donnie had different ideas.
Donnie’s mind was always one that was running. With thoughts, opinions, creations. It never stopped, and most times he’d just write it down. However some days writing was to slow for his mind so he would decide instead to talk to someone about it.
While Mikey was usually his go-to, the two having a passion for creating things albeit in different mediums. He was cooking.
Leo would be his second. But oftentimes the red-eared slider didn’t want to listen to hours of ramblings. And would decide to just walk away in the midst of Donnie’s brain-storming.
So Donnie took his thoughts and ideas to the one person who always encouraged him to share whenever he wanted: Raph.
Raph, while not understanding half of what the soft-shell would say. Always encouraged and listened whenever Donnie would talk. Trying his best to help with suggestions and a supportive thumbs up. Donnie may never admit it, but Raph was- in his eyes -basically the supporting adult figure in his life. So impressing him and making him proud was always something Donnie would try and do.
Donnie bursted into Raph’s room without knocking. Something Raph tried not to immediately get mad at the softshell about. Whipping his head up from the rubix cube he was currently doing. Going from an agitated glare to a confused look before Donnie could realize it. He always tried to be careful with body language, not wanting any of his brothers to feel scared or intimidated by it.
“Something up D?” Raph asked as Donnie scrambled onto his large bed. Barely making a noticeable creak as he was just too light to make a difference. Donnie looked at him with a wide- almost demonic and insane -smile.
And he began rambling. Talking about something Raph didn’t care about nor wanted to hear. Raph tensed, his little sense of peace and relaxation gone. Donnie’s voice was unexpectedly irritant despite the fact that Raph couldn’t hear the words. He felt his jaw tighten.
He was just tired.
Maybe Donnie should’ve noticed the tense expression. Eyebrows furrowed and jaw practically clamped shut. A look that was barely stopping itself from being an angry glare. Maybe Donnie should’ve chosen the notebook or a recorder of some kind instead.
But that didn’t matter now.
“Donnie,” Raph’s words were as tense as he felt, Donnie looked up in surprise. His brother sounded tired but more importantly, he sounded bored . At least, he sounded bored to Donnie.
“I don’t care .”
The words fell from his mouth before he even realized what he was going to say. His body was no longer tense, instead tiredly slumping as the words came out as more like a plea of dismissal than anything else. But that didn’t matter.
Donnie’s face fell, looking at his brother with a dejected and shocked expression. He curled in on himself a bit. Feeling as though he was just rejected by the entire world rather than just his brother. Tears pricked at his eyes. A stinging pain that brought him to his feet. Leaving the room before it fully clicked for Raph as he watched his brother leave.
He let out an agitated groan and rubbed his face as it dawned on him.
Donnie was always the sensitive one. And not because of his softshell. He was always considered the cry baby, a tease Leo used to do in order to make Donnie cry more. Words hurt the teen more than any hit from a villain it seemed. Despite how much Donnie tried to put on a facade of “emotionally unavailable bad boy”.
Raph lightly leaned his head against the wall. Closing his eyes tight as if he did it hard enough he could undo his mistake.
It was an honest mistake.
Raph wanted to get up and apologize. To explain that he was just tired and wanted to relax a bit. No, it wasn't a want, it was a need . He needed to apologize to Donnie. He knew that. But God, he was so tired. He didn't have the energy to encourage himself to get up. To move. All he wanted to do was sit there.
Plus wouldn’t it be better to give Donnie some time anyways? Just to cool down or something. Raph gave a nod to the idea. The desire to be lazy and alone for a moment is too enticing to ignore.
Plus, Donnie would understand he didn’t mean it, right?
Dinner would come along later. To which the softshell was noticeably missing. Not necessarily uncommon, as Donnie would often get so deep into his work he’d forget the basics of food and water to survive. However, the snapper had an unfortunate gut feeling that it was something more.
But he did what he always does. Eat first then make sure Donnie did. As sometimes convincing Donnie to eat was such a hassle Raph wouldn’t have the chance to eat himself.
Raph lightly knocked on Donnie’s wall, leaning against it and looking into the dark room. Well most others would often assume that meant no one was in there. Raph knew his brother, and knew that sitting in the darkness was something he often did.
A grunt from under the sheets. An odd greeting, but it made Raph walk in further. Turning on a small lamp on the nightstand next to Donnie’s bed. He glared out from under the sheets.
Okay, so maybe he wouldn’t understand. That’s okay, Raph can work with it.
Raph set the plate of food on the nightstand.
“Hey,” he says, light and hushed “I wanted to say I’m sorry about earlier.”
“It’s whatever,” Donnie hisses, not moving out from under the large comforter. Raph tried not to physically sigh. He was still tired, maybe too tired to deal with this. But he had to. He always had to.
“It’s clearly not,” Raph speaks, careful with each inflection in his voice. He doesn’t move to touch Donnie, just in case that might make him more irritated. And instead ops to put his hands together gently. Knowing his brother too well “come on D, let’s talk about it.” Raph coaxes.
He didn’t want to, the snapper simply wanted to apologize and leave. He wanted Donnie to get over it because, sometimes, Raph just didn’t want to hear him talking.
...That was mean, Raph didn’t intend to be mean. He couldn’t be mean, not to his brothers.
Donnie, with the realization his eldest brother would not give it up. Slowly sat up, wrapping the comforter around his waist. He doesn’t meet the snappers' eyes. But at least now he seems more willing.
“I’m sorry Don,” Raph begins, hands moving to his hips out of habit. He rocks on his heels a bit “I was… I was just tired and I didn’t mean to take it out on you,” he gestures, trying to find a good rhythm with his words.
“It wasn’t fair of me, and it wasn’t fair to you,” this felt rehearsed, Raph didn’t rehearse it. He knows he didn’t. So why did it feel like he’s done this before? Raph shakes the feeling for now.
“So… basically I’m sorry, there aren’t any excuses here just. I’m sorry,” Raph finishes, trying not to cringe at himself. He never really knew how to end these kinds of things. Usually it just worked out, now however. It felt like he was failing.
“I… just didn’t mean to be annoying,” Donnie responds after a beat of silence. Great, now Raph was going to have to work through this.
“You’re… Dee you’re not annoying, nobody here finds you annoying,” Raph says, it’s only partially true. Raph found him annoying sometimes, but they’re brothers, so Donnie was allowed to be annoying sometimes. But he shouldn’t have to feel bad about it.
“But I am , that’s why you don’t care about what I have to say,” Donnie argues, finally looking up at Raph. The snapper lets out a sigh, moving to sit on the bed as gently as he could. He wasn’t getting out of this conversation easy was he?
“No it’s-” just that I don’t always feel like hearing your rambles. Sometimes I want to be left alone to do whatever I want without having to hear about your latest invention. And it’s so hard to tell you that because you just get so easily discouraged by the slightest bit of disinterest.
“It’s just sometimes... “ Raph sighs to search for the right word “sometimes I can’t focus on you and a rubix cube at the same time,” right, that’s what he was doing when Donnie came in right? Donnie perked up, clearly trying to remember if that was true. But the way his eyes lit up made him say yes, he was right. Thank the pizza gods.
“So, you do want to hear my ideas?” Donnie asked, leaning forward. All doubt and discouragement gone from his eyes. Raph tried not to physically deflate at the question.
No he wanted to say I just want to be left alone he wants to get up and leave. But he doesn’t, instead he grabs the plate of food on the nightstand and hands it to the softshell.
“Why don’t you eat first?” He encourages. Donnie clearly rolls his eyes, but takes the plate eagerly. Starting to shove the food down his mouth. Speaking almost at the exact same time as he chewed. Starting his ramble all over again.
Raph didn’t care.
But Donnie didn’t need to know that.