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The Hand was laying on his neck. He still remembered how the electricity wandered from his neck into his back down to his big toe. Every time his mother had to ask him again for an answer, and he could not give one it would start over and over again.
And now after two years he sat completely frozen in front of his homework and even if the Hand wasn't there anymore it still lingers like a ghost in his neck.
Of course He knew that in the State he was in he couldn't study with his friends.
Every time they asked him he had to find another poorly excuse not to go. When Krishima asked him if he wanted to study with him and Bakugou, Kaminari's little Heart broke in two because Kirishima's face fell after he declined it.
But that was nothing he couldn't handle.
The teasing, the broken faces and the laughing didn't matter as long they didn't saw him like that.
He was now sitting on his chair with his legs pulled up, his hand laying open on the desk and his eyes clued on the wall.
If somebody would touch him right now, he probably would have a full panic attack. Now that couldn't happen.
Denki was the class clown. He was the one people would relay on if someone had a problem. He was there to make others happy, the price he had to pay for that didn't matter.
And besides it was just on small childhood thing. There was no reason to cry about it. He just had to suck it up, people had it worse. Like Midoriya and Kirishima. They never felt good enough in there childhood. Nobody was taking them serious. So Denki lend them a shoulder to cry on.
And If his t-shirt got wet from the tears, it didn't matter.
Or like Uraraka or Mina.
They both struggled with their bodies. So Denki had to remember them that they deserve food and even if it breaks his heart. And when he noticed how both got smaller again and he couldn't help them and felt like he let them down it didn't matter.
Sato and Momo also had a bad relationship with their bodies. Sometimes they just eat too much for their bodies and if they were already to tired to use they're quirk to spend the calories, they would vomit everything out until they're felt better.
And if he helped them at the moment, holding Momos hair back and slowly rubbing Sato back, he just ignored the terrible smell that could make him throw up to. Because it didn't matter if he wanted to.
Sero and Hagakure always felt like they were just invincible and background characters.
So Denki made sure they were included. In Education session, school trips, Game nights and even School projects.
And if he felt a little bit down because they didn't even notice it it didn't matter.
Koda and Aoyama had a similar problem.
Ayoma tried to cover up his feeling with his loud voice, always talking how good everything is while his world was falling apart
and Koda just said nothing.
Suffering alone until Denki came around and pushed in the right places so they over spilled him with their feelings. And if he went to sleep with a heavy heart because he had no one to talk to it doesn't matter.
But To Bakugou and Todoroki he could relate the most.
Both had terrible parents.He didn't wanna talk about Endeavor and Rei, everybody knew what they did to Todoroki. And Bakugou mom also wasn't always the best.
And if they pushed him away again and told him that he doesn't understand their pain it didn't matter.
Slowly he slipped back into reality.
Thinking about his friends always helped even if it made him feel sadder it didn't make him feel traumatized like it did when he thought about his mom.
He let his head drop into his cold hands. For a moment he was sitting there huddled together, holding his breath.
He knew that tomorrow his back would hurt, but right know he didn't feel anything and maybe it didn't matter right now.
After the one minute that felt like an hour he stood up and walked like a toddler who just learned to walk over to his bed and fell into it.
His eyes were scanning his room and they fell on his Pikachu clock. He actually hated it it was just too bright, like the rest of his room. It was just his personality, he put on like his smile.
It took a while before he could read the bright clock.
3:45.
The big red numbers were hurting his eyes and slowly burning into his mind.
He sat on his desk till 7 p.m.
And at this point he didn't learn a single word that was standing on his notes.
With two slow blinks he realized how fucked he was and if it keeps going on like that, Mr Aizawa is going to throw him out of school.
But maybe it didn't matter if he kept going, because he could try as hard as he want. The picture of his mom and the hand on his neck was now burned into his brain like the numbers on the clock.
Silently, he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep to the sound of his own heartbeat and his short breathes.
And if he wakes up tomorrow nobody will ever know about this little study party and his breakdown.
Because he wasn't the only one who had problems and everyone else just had it harder than him.
And if he could live like that his whole life he could spend some more years with it.