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The number of people whose opinion of him Wakamiya Henri cared about could be counted on one hand. First and foremost was his mother, whom he'd always been able to trust with all his thoughts and feelings and whom he went to for advice before anyone else. There was Coach Kagayaki, naturally, whose experience and technical knowledge were indispensable, and Ruru, his rinkmate and confidant since childhood whom he could always count on to be honest with him. And then there was Masato, of course, who in just a few short years had become Henri's rock, the person who gave him strength more than anyone else (as well as being the only one who could convince him to take a break when he was pushing himself too hard, a fact which the other three people on this short list had often had to make use of). Much of the world had very strong opinions about Henri, who he was, how he dressed and conducted himself, but as long as those four people thought highly of him, no one else mattered.
Well, not no one else. There was a pinky left uncounted, one last person that Henri had hoped to please since he was two but whom he had never met before, though that would soon change.
That person was Victor Nikiforov.
Henri's earliest memory was of sitting in his mother's lap in front of the television as she watched the figure skating competition at the 2006 Winter Olympics. Recalling the memory now, it feels more like a particularly vivid dream than something that actually happened, but he distinctly remembers his mother holding his hands in her own and the smell of her perfume. He remembers seeing the screen fill with the image of a young person with long silver hair in a ponytail, wearing a sparkling green costume, their arms outstretched as they took the ice. He stared in awe of this figure, impossibly beautiful, unlike anything he'd ever seen before.
"Maman, can I be like that?" he asked, completely mesmerized by their seemingly effortless grace as they began their performance.
"Of course you can, my love," she answered sweetly, gently tucking a strand of hair behind his ear. "You can be anything. You can do anything."
"Even though I'm a boy?"
"Darling, so is he!"
Henri was barely two at the time, and he would honestly believe it was something he imagined if not for his mother recalling it as well. She enrolled him in ice skating classes as soon as he was old enough, and he took to them immediately, receiving praise from every coach and parent on his natural talent. It was here that he met Ruru, a quiet but skilled girl with a great love of music and a massive appetite. They had been assigned to each other for their very first pair skate, and became close as more of their classmates began to leave the rink for different extracurriculars.
And as the years passed, as Henri grew older and skating became his day-to-day life, the memory of why he first began started to fade from his mind.
That was, until the 2010 Winter Oympics.
Henri, Ruru, and a few of their other rinkmates were gathered around the television at Ruru's house, waiting with fidgety excitement for the men's short programs to begin. The announcers chatted idly about the Olympians who were about to take the ice as graphics highlighting their personal and professional biographies flashed across the screen accompanied by photos and clips of their previous performances. Henri's eyes were glued to the screen in anticipation as each comptetitor was introduced, as though he was trying to absorb their skill just by watching them.
And then, a photo of a young man with silver hair in a long ponytail appeared on the screen.
And suddenly Henri was just two years old again, holding his mother's hands as he marveled at that same young man, wishing to be just like him.
"Victor Nikiforov," one of the announcers said, "Only twenty-one years old, this is already his second Olympic Games, can you believe it?"
"Victor Nikiforov..." Henri breathed.
"Aside from his technically perfect and emotionally moving performances, Nikiforov is known for his, ah, more feminine hairstyles and costumes," The other announcer added, and Henri felt a strange unease at the hesitation in the man's voice. "It's said he is trying to bring a new dimension of masculinity to the sport."
"Expectations are high for this rising star of the skating world," the first announcer concluded. "He is definitely someone the folks watching at home will not want to miss!"
"Henri, who is that?" Ruru asked, tugging at his sleeve, and Henri finally managed to tear his eyes away from the screen as they began to showcase the next competitor.
"I just remembered... a long time ago I saw him while I was watching TV with my mom, and I told her..." Henri's voice faltered.
"Told her what?"
"It's a secret," Henri said, looking away.
"Aw, I wanna know the secret! I'm your best friend, can't you tell me?" Ruru asked with a pout.
"...I said I wanted to be like him," Henri finally said, avoiding her gaze. "That's why my mom wanted me to learn to skate."
"I don't get it! Why's that gotta be a secret?" Ruru wondered, cheeks puffed out in confusion.
"You... you don't think it's weird?" Henri asked, meeting her eyes.
"Why would it be weird? He's a really good skater!" She answered with a small smile. "And he's really really pretty, just like you are!"
Henri smiled back, his worries vanishing as thought they had never existed to begin with.
The performances began, and Henri and Ruru sat impatiently through each one, waiting for Victor's turn. They asked Ruru's mother after each program if he was the next, and she would laugh and tell them whose name was displayed on the screen as the next competitor.
And when it finally was Victor's turn, the two of them sat as close to the TV as she would allow, completely enthralled by his performance, gasping at each and every jump.
When it ended, they finally allowed themselves to speak again.
"His costume was so flowy and sparkly!"
"I wanna grow my hair out so it spins around like that when I skate..."
"The music was so pretty too!"
Afterwards there was an interview with Victor, and Henri and Ruru held hands tightly as they listened with baited breath.
"Can you tell us please, what is the inspiration for your costume?" the interviewer asks.
"My... costume?" Victor repeats, looking confused. "You want to know about that?"
"Yes, your unconventional costumes, and the reason your hair is so long? It's been said you're trying to redefine what masculinity can be in the sport, and-"
"Ah! Yes, I work closely with the designers to create each outfit for my programs, I like for them to have a personal touch," He explains with a smile.
"But what is the inspiration behind them?" The interviewer repeats, clearly unsatisfied with this answer.
"I dress this way because I like it!" Victor says, maintaining his radiant smile. "That is the reason! Now, if you will excuse me,"
Henri's eyes sparkle watching as Victor pushes past the interviewer with a flip of his hair. At that moment, he decided to be just like Victor - not just to be beautiful, but to be wholly self-assured, and to not let anyone make him doubt himself and his choices. He would radiate that same confidence and grace, and rise to the top of the skating world to one day meet Victor as an equal, and thank him for being such an inspiration.
After that day, Henri threw himself into the sport, body and soul. His mother or Ruru's would drive the both of them to the rink nearly every day after school, even on days when there was no practice, and they rose to the top of their class, beginning to be noticed by coaches. But as Henri got older, there was an expectation for him to start embodying a more masculine energy in his performances. He refused, and though many coaches had a problem with this, any who raised the issue were met with his equally resolute mother.
And this ended up catching the attention of one coach in particular - Kagayaki Homare, whose own refusal to keep her relationship with another woman hidden had made the other skating parents wary of allowing her to coach their children. Henri admired her strength just as he admired Victor's confidence, his mother's gentleness, Ruru's honesty, and he immediately accepted her offer to coach him. His mother was simply elated to find a coach who not only accepted her son as he was but encouraged it, and Ruru and her own mother were happy to accept Coach Kagayaki's offer as well so that the two children could still work together.
Coach Kagayaki was a tough mentor at times, but having been a professional skater herself in her youth, her experience was indispensable, and Henri was endlessly grateful that he had her to lead him to even greater heights. He took first place in every competition he entered, and even the people who judged him could no longer deny his prowess, earning himself the nickname of "Prince of Skating" in the local circuits.
Middle school began for Henri and Ruru, and though he'd always had to deal with bullies, the naysayers seemed to become more insistent as he got older. He didn't let them get to him - he knew the vicious things they said only came from a close-minded approach to the world, and such people were not worth his time. But in their second year of middle school, Ruru's mother's younger brother, Masato, returned from Germany with their parents, and enrolled in the same school. Masato was instantly uncomfortable having to be around Henri so much, saying he was a bad influence on Ruru and should stay away from their family. Henri was hurt by this more than he wanted to admit, and though Ruru defended him from Masato whenever she could, Masato persisted, more than any other bully Henri had had to deal with before. He couldn't imagine what possessed Masato to be so stubborn, when most other bullies were put off quickly by Henri's own refusal to be broken by their words.
But one day, while coming to meet Ruru to head to the rink, he heard Masato crying in his room in the Aisaki mansion, and Henri's heart broke for him. In that moment Henri realized Masato was different from other bullies, and in fact had been hurt by them even worse than Henri himself had. Their close-mindedness had caused insecurity to grow in Masato's heart, and so he lashed out at Henri, the person who had everything he thought that he couldn't. Henri wanted to help him, to show him that he could be anything he wanted to be.
And so after that day, Henri began to befriend Masato. At first, the boy seemed so confused by the gesture that he couldn't muster the courage to be a jerk, and eventually he began to accept Henri's friendship, blushingly grateful to be shown genuine acceptance from a peer, and opening up to Henri about things he'd been too afraid to tell anyone else. Henri encouraged Masato to follow his dream of becoming a professional pianist, following in the footsteps of his opera singer parents and rock star older sister, and Masato in turn became Henri's biggest fan, helping him plan his training regimen and making sure he didn't overwork himself.
And as they grew even closer, their friendship became something different and new, for both of them. Kisses were stolen in the music room after classes, on the edge of the rink during a break in practice, hands clasped tightly under a shared umbrella walking home in the rain. Masato very quickly became one of the most important people in Henri's life, and as his graduation from juniors approached, Henri was endlessly grateful for his support and that of his family and friends. Expectations only became higher and critics harsher as his senior debut inched closer, but Henri was determined not to be broken by them, and with loved ones like his mother, Ruru, Coach Kagayaki, and Masato at his back, he truly felt like he could take on the world and come out on top.
Henri decided his senior debut needed to be particularly special - after all, this was the year he would finally able to compete against Victor. He had found a piece by an American composer that really spoke to him - it had been written as an anthem for a festival of gay and lesbian choruses, which felt quite fitting to him. To make it stand out even more, he turned to the Aisaki family, requesting that Ruru and her mother sing it, with Masato playing the piano accompaniment. When they heard of this, Masato's parents also offered to join the chorus of voices, while Ruru's mother was able to convince several other lesbian vocalists she had worked with to also join, including the lead singer of the rock band Wild Azur and the famous idol Makopi. The result was a beautiful and unique piece of music made just for Henri by people who loved and supported him, beyond his wildest expectations.
He worked for hours with Coach Kagayaki to create and perfect an elegant program to reflect the care and heart put into the music, practicing and practicing until there were no mistakes. His mother helped to design a brand-new costume for the occassion, brilliant white with accents in shades of green as a nod to the costume Victor had worn all those years ago, and a long silken skirt that flowed out behind him as he sped across the ice.
As Japanese Nationals drew nearer, when most other skaters were becoming nervous, Henri only grew more excited. More and more students came to him at school to wish him luck and give him gifts of lilies and stuffed animals. The school's cheer club, supervised by Coach Kagayaki's wife Nono Hana, even got special permission to come to Tokyo to show their support in person. Henri was grateful beyond words for all the support he'd been given, and he vowed not to let a single one of his fans down.
On the day they head to Tokyo, Coach Kagayaki reviews the other competitors he and Ruru will be facing. Of particular note to Henri is Katsuki Yuri, a veteran skater - and Victor's husband. Henri almost feels bad he will have to take the gold from Victor's paramour in order to meet him on the world stage. (Key word being 'almost'.)
The rest of the Aisaki family and Henri's mother follow him, Ruru, and their coach to Tokyo, with a gaggle of cheer club students led by Coach Nono and her five-month-old daughter bringing up the rear of the Prince of Skating's entourage of fans. Masato seems to have taken it upon himself to be nervous on Henri's behalf, and by the time they all finally arrive in the city he is a bit of a wreck and grasping for Henri's hand in order to calm down.
After everyone is settled in their hotel rooms, between warm-ups and pep talks, Henri is able to catch Ruru's short program, a bouncy and energetic performance set to a song written and performed by her and her mother. He doesn't stick around for the judging however, heading backstage again to continue listening to his short program music and prepare himself. But before he can begin his stretches again, he sees something - or rather, someone - that throws his calm entirely off balance.
Because standing in the hallway beside Katsuki and his coach is none other than Victor Nikiforov.
Henri is not easily rattled, but seeing his childhood idol in person at such an unexpected time, he panics. Instead of passing by the three men, he heads back the way he came, through the spectator stands and out into the lobby, then back into the prep area through a different entrance.
Victor is already here! Why is he here now? Henri wonders to himself as he heas to the restroom and locks himself in a stall. He should be at Russian Nationals! Why is he in Japan? Why is he here!?
He fishes his phone out of his jacket pocket, quickly looking up the dates of the Russian Nationals to confirm he was remembering the timing correctly. But instead he is greeted by a news story at the top of the page, the headline immediately confirming his fear:
Russian National Skating Competition Kicks Off With Fan Favorite Missing
"Star athlete Victor Nikiforov nowhere to be found as championship begins, leading some to speculate the legendary figure skater has entered an unnanounced retirement."
So that was it.
Henri would never be able to meet his idol on the ice, to compete against him as an equal. He was just a year too late.
He comes back out of the restroom and numbly begins his stretches. Shortly after the women's short program concludes, the competitors and their coaches and family returning to the prep area in various states of emotional overflow. Henri is startled from his subdued state by Ruru suddenly hugging him.
"I placed first in the short program, Henri!" she says gleefully, clutching a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a plush cat in the other.
"Oh! Congratulations," Henri replies, forcing a smile onto his face as she pulls away to look at him.
"Is something wrong?" she immediately asks, and Henri feels guilty for ruining her celebratory mood.
"No, sorry, you just distracted me a bit is all." He says. "Really, congratulations. You better not slack off tomorrow though,"
"Of course I won't!" Ruru replies with a pout, then smiles again. "I'm going to get changed and meet the others in the stands. I'll be cheering you on so don't you slack off either!"
Henri laughs a little in spite of himself.
"Of course I won't."
But as the men's short program begins, Henri continues to think about Victor, unable to focus on preparing mentally even as his body goes through the motions of warming up. It feels as though something had been ripped away from him. Coach Kagayaki and his mother, both backstage with him, notice his despondency and ask if he was alright as Ruru had, but he waves them off, and though they seem to remain concerned, they don't press it further.
Finally his turn on the ice comes, the announcement catching him off guard. He heads out onto the ice, once again putting on a smile for the sake of all the fans who had come to expect a certain affectation from him.
To his credit, he performs his short program flawlessly, landing each jump effortlessly and exuding grace with every spin. But even as he speeds across the ice, his mind is still elsewhere. The music he'd chosen for his short program was something Victor had skated to early in his career, and before today Henri felt as though by choosing it he was continuing a legacy. But now, as he twirls to the melody, he feels distant, detatched. He is technically perfect, but he no longer feels as though there was meaning in his motions. Why is he here?
He takes first in the short program, and after the day's events the Wakamiyas, the Aisakis, and Coaches Kagayaki and Nono and their daughter head to an izakaya near the rink. It is now Masato's turn to worry about Henri's depressed state, and once again Henri denies that anything is wrong.
"Okay..." Masato says, still wearing a look of concern, but is distracted by a question from his sister - even as he turns his attention elsewhere, however, he still grips Henri's hand and squeezes tight.
After dinner everyone retires to their hotel rooms, as the two skaters still need their rest for the next day of competetition.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Henri's mother asks, pausing before flipping the lightswitch.
"...I know," Henri says, looking away from her and at the wall instead.
"...Okay. As long as you know," she says, before turning the lights out and heading to her bed. She falls asleep in minutes, but Henri lies awake a while longer.
The next day begins with the women's free skate. From somewhere Henri musters the energy to cheer along with the others for Ruru's performance, then once again heads backstage to prepare himself to take the ice, avoiding the worried gazes of his family and friends.
He sees Victor again, passing by him without so much as a sidelong glance, putting in his earbuds to listen to his music and beginning his stretches.
And as he listens to the song, he begins to think of how he has gotten to this point. The sound of Ruru's voice as she sings, full of honesty - sometimes blunt, but always well meaning. The piano played so expertly by Masato, with love and gratitude in every keystroke. The costume he is wearing now, designed with care by his mother, the first person to tell him that he could do this or anything else he set his mind to. The first place spot he currently holds, which he could never have reached without Coach Kagayaki's tough but effective training. And so many others - Coach Nono's endless uplifting enthusiasm, the immediate acceptance from Masato's parents, the work Ruru's mother put in to organizing the song recording, the idols and musicians he'd never met who lent their voices to him because they too understood what it was like to fight just to be themselves. All his peers who were cheering him on, both here in Tokyo and back home.
Yesterday, he had wondered listlessly why he was even here if he could never face Victor in competition. But today he realizes he is here not for a reason, but because of one. He was not just skating to impress a childhood idol - he was doing it for the people who had supported him, who had allowed him to even make it this far.
And even more than that - what was it that watching Victor had taught him all those years ago?
He skates because it's what he wants to do, and it's who he wants to be.
Henri is reinvigorated as he takes the ice to raucous cheers. His smile is genuine. And as the music begins, he can feel purpose flowing through him, pride in his every moment.
Wakamiya Henri didn't need any reason to skate other than the simple fact that it was what he loved.
Henri takes first place, and as he stares out at the stands from the top of the podium, gold medal in hand, he truly felt as though he had arisen.
Henri encounters Victor and Katsuki in the hallway outside the prep area. He's still a little nervous, but since Victor won't be at the next competition to come, he figures this is his only chance.
"Monsieur Nikiforov?"
"Oui?" Victor turns to look at him. "Ah! You're Henri Wakamiya, yes?"
"Yes, I am," Henri says with a small bow. Victor inclines his head back, then holds out his hand, and with a smile, Henri shakes it. "I just wanted to tell you that I've been a fan of yours a very long time. In fact, you are the reason I started skating in the first place."
"I'm glad to hear it!" Victor says with a smile. "Your program was beautiful! Of course, I have issues with the results, but..." he laughs, and beside him, Katsuki smiles and rolls his eyes.
"I just wanted to thank you for being such an inspiration. In more ways than one," Henri adds. "Really, I wouldn't be who I am today without your influence."
"Who you are today is a promising young athlete. And that's something you achieved all on your own."
"Well, not all on my own. I had help."
Victor nods.
"Well, then you're incredibly lucky."
Henri smiles.
"Yes, I am... Though," Henri adds, "If I'd only debuted a year sooner, I'd've been able to compete against you. I will admit, I'm a little disappointed I won't get that chance."
"Oh, please, don't be. You'll be skating against my protege instead, and trust me, he's an even more formidable opponent than I was."
At that moment, someone down the hallway hollers in their direction.
"VITYA!"
Victor looks up, and breaks into a wide grin.
"LYOVOCHKA!"
Without saying goodbye, Victor heads in the direction of the voice.
"Sorry about him," Katsuki says quietly to Henri. "That's the family we're supposed to be meeting today. But we'll both be watching your next competition, you can count on that. Until next time!"
Katsuki leaves as well, and Henri is left standing alone in the hallway.
"Family, huh..."
"HENRI!"
Henri glances up to see Masato and Ruru both running towards him, arms outstretched, with the coaches, parents, and fellow students close behind.
Henri smiles.
