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“Don’t forget about tonight.”
He leaned back against the headboard with the sheets pooling around his waist. His hand dangled over one knee tapping out an arrhythmic cadence against his leg. There was a listless air surrounding his demeanor. His dark gaze affixed to the window, contemplating the morning sun as it wove streaks of pink and gray light in between the skyscrapers.
“William Darcy, have you heard a word I said?”
Will seamed his lips together and forced out a sigh through his nose, casting her a distracted glance. “Sorry. What?”
“Dinner. Tonight.”
His eyes, deep and limitless yet shuttered and lifeless, cut to her—cut through her—as she languidly untied her sash. The robe's silky material slipped from her shoulders and fluttered to the floor. She hooked her thumbs on the inside edge of her panties, her fingers caressing her skin as she shimmied them past her hips, down her legs, eventually landing at her feet. She crawled onto the bed and crept across the covers on her hands and knees. Taking his limp arm and wrapping it around her waist, she pressed her body up next to his.
“Another dinner?” He grimaced, failing to blunt the exasperated expression marring his exquisite features. “I realize it is your sister but...”
“She’s not just my sister, she’s my best friend. Is it that difficult for you to be around her?”
“No. It’s not about your family, not really.” Will exhaled again expelling a black cloud, an infusion of disquietude and resignation. “It’s everything. I’m buried under at work and then if we factor in all of these social commitments,” he focused once more on the cityscape coming to life at the sun’s gentle coaxing. “There are times when I would like to spend my free time with just you.”
“I understand, but Will, it seems as though everybody’s schedule has become so chaotic that my sister and I agreed that we all need to get together and reconnect. Can I count on you to be there?”
The pained expression remained on his face. His voice was absent still.
“Please?”
“I’ll be there.”
“Thank you.” She whispered, her fingers dancing seductively across his chest. Will captured her hand, ceasing its caress as it wandered its way down his torso. Halting her overture he threw back the covers murmuring, “I have to get ready for work.”
~DY~
Elizabeth directed her eyes over Jane and out the window, absorbing the scenes from the neighborhood as their train sped past an amalgam of brick, concrete, steel, and life. She emitted a tiny sigh returning to her sister. “Have you tried the new sushi restaurant on 45th and Division?”
“No. We should all go there sometime.” Jane intoned in her typical unaffected manner drawing her silky blond hair in her hand and wrapping it around her neck, brushing her locks over her shoulder. “I’m really glad that everyone could meet for dinner tonight. I was starting to feel like you two lovebirds were avoiding us.”
“Or is it possible that you two were avoiding us?”
“Hardly.” Jane scoffed. “Unfortunately, we all must resign ourselves to the realities of four professionals all leading ridiculously busy lives. I mean, consider your own situation. You have been married for only two years and have already resorted to scheduling date nights with your husband.”
“And don’t think for one minute that I am happy about it.” Elizabeth forced out a small laugh that did nothing to negate a touch of gloom exuding from her expressive eyes. “Goodbye spontaneity, hello mundanity. Enjoy the newness of love while it lasts, Jane.”
“You are an incurable romantic.”
“Maybe I am.” Elizabeth softened her voice and a faint sparkle lit her eyes. “Well, since I am an old married woman, I’ll just have to live vicariously through you. So... how is everything... going?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean.”
“There is—potential.”
“Potential? That’s it? Potential for what?”
Jane rolled her eyes wearing a smirk. “There is potential—a possibility—and that’s all I’m going to say. It’s early and we are still trying each other on to see if we fit together. No proposal... yet.”
“I know. I know.” Elizabeth fidgeted with the hem of her blouse, amending with a mischievous grin, “it’s just that my reputation as a sage and savvy matchmaker is on the line.”
“Well, maybe there is enough po-ten-tial,” Jane deliberately drew out the word, “to vindicate you for any past disappointments that I have suffered at your hands.”
“You are gorgeous, by the way.”
The women shared a look of admiration and envy. Jane's blond hair, blue-eyed loveliness, consisting of classical features paired with a sophisticated style, could only be rivaled by Elizabeth’s exotic and stunning blend of innocence and allure.
“So are you, as always.” Jane smiled rising from her seat to join the cluster of people pressed against the doors as the cars lurched to a screeching halt. “Well, this our stop.”
Making their way through the congested station Elizabeth was first to notice Will and Charles, both incomparably handsome and impeccably groomed in their bespoke suits. Although both men appeared to be pleased with their situation, the intimate look of complete adoration that he wore caused her to miss a step and catch her breath.
~DY~
Elizabeth slid down their row and into the window seat. Holding up both cups of coffee, she waited for Will to squeeze in next to her. Once he had situated his overburdened briefcase and long legs, she handed over his half of their usual order: coffee, black—no cream, no sugar, no pumpkin spice flavoring, no hassles—just black, thank you.
“I’m sorry about dinner.” He spoke after an extended silence. “I never meant to cut out early.”
“No more apologies, Will. Everything is fine. You said that you were overloaded at work,” Elizabeth turned away and murmured, “we were forewarned.”
She watched him hold his cup with a slight tremor. Elizabeth turned up a corner of her mouth attempting a tease. “You need to switch to decaf.”
They dropped back into another silence spending the rest of the dispiriting commute sharing the view outside as their car dashed them along to the next stop on the line.
Will cleared his throat and touched her sleeve. “Elizabeth?”
“Everything is fine, Will.” Elizabeth answered his unspoken question wincing at the sound of her own voice, betraying her thoughts. “I’ve just been tired.”
“Please talk to me.” Will’s deep, soothing voice caused Elizabeth to shift in her seat. His ability to read her was uncanny. She averted her eyes, keeping her sight on the familiar scenery. After a couple of false starts she offered some elucidation.
“I suppose I have been doing a lot of thinking lately.” She shrugged keeping her line of sight no higher than the hand rail. “Every day we get on this train from the same terminal and we get off at the same gate. Did it ever occur to you to wonder where we are going?”
Will took a furtive glimpse of her profile, alarmed by the tears accumulating on her lashes. He remained silent, attempting to piece together the puzzle plaguing her thoughts. Elizabeth smiled a grateful smile for his quiet patience and continued.
“If you think about it, there are multiple stops on this line and for every person it could mean something different. For example, four blocks up is the hospital. That could be the stop for someone who is going to meet their grandchild for the first time. Meanwhile, sitting in the seat next to them there could be someone who is also getting off at the hospital, only they are going to say their last goodbye.
“A block further is the municipal building. There could be a couple on this train that is going there to apply for a marriage license or—”
“Petitioning for a divorce.” Will interjected feeding off of her melancholy. Elizabeth looked down at her hands, glued together in her lap, and nodded. “Elizabeth, why all the philosophical musings before your first cup of coffee?”
“I don’t know. I was just thinking.” She repeated quietly. “It’s the same train, the same line, all leading us to somewhere—or nowhere.
“Look at that man over there.” She gestured toward a lone passenger lost in thought. “He could have made a very difficult decision and is following through with it, or he could be a coward who is running away from doing what is right.”
She grimaced and dropped her eyes back to her hands wringing in her lap.
“Jane’s right. I have to let go of my childish ideals.”
“What do you mean?”
“She accused me of being a romantic and unrealistic. Do you think of me that way?”
Her body relaxed feeling his warmth as Will slipped his hand in between her clenched fingers. He gently pried her hands apart and intertwined his fingers with hers.
“No.” His voice was quiet but firm. “I think you’re brave.”
“Really?”
“Really. Look around you, Elizabeth. Everyone that we know, Jane, Charles—even myself—have aspired to nothing more than achieving the status quo. We go through life settling for comfort, and once we have achieved comfort we are content, and that seems to be good enough.
“But you don’t operate that way, you want more out of life by challenging the status quo. I can’t imagine you giving up and going down that slippery slope of living a half life.
“Take me, for example. There were countless hours that I spent brooding about how my life would have turned out if only I had made different choices. In the end, it served no purpose. I have to live with the consequences of my decisions.” Will wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest giving her a comforting squeeze. “Whatever it is that you are seeking, if you get a second chance, take it and don’t look back.”
~DY~
He positioned his broad shoulders against the frame of the bedroom door. Locking his arms across his chest, he stood mesmerized by a maelstrom of frantic movements and a single-minded determination as she rushed between tasks.
“I don’t know what to say, except ‘I’m sorry’.”
“So am I.” She bit out through clenched teeth keeping her back to him. Bending over the bed she gathered her clothes and packed them into a cardboard wardrobe as quickly as physically possible.
A desperate, unyielding ache deep inside of her called out to him, willing his dark, inscrutable eyes to seek her out and convey what she needed to know.
Did it mean anything?
She lifted her head and turned to face the door only to find an empty corridor.
~DY~
The ballroom hummed with soothing music and shimmered with soft lights in preparation of the festive evening. Bursting with pride, a debonair Mr. Bennet and a regal Mrs. Bennet stood at the entrance, alongside their five beautiful, elegant daughters, receiving friends and family to join in their celebration.
“I can’t believe he had the nerve to show up tonight!” Jane spat, directing Elizabeth’s attention towards the interloper. Her unprecedented display of anger contorted Jane’s beautiful countenance into a hideous facsimile of itself. Jane turned to Elizabeth only to witness her rushing towards the exit.
“Elizabeth!”
Clicking her four-inch heels along the pavement, she attempted to break into a run, cursing those gorgeous Jimmy Choos for hindering her pace. Hugging her coat to her chest, Elizabeth’s breath froze in the air, unable stave off the December chill.
“Elizabeth, please stop!” His hurried footfalls announced his impending approach.
“You have nothing to say that I want to hear.” She choked out. Two steps later, he caught her by the arm, spun her around and enveloped her tiny form in his arms.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to ruin your evening.”
“And yet you intended to make your presence known tonight, forcing me to leave my parents’ anniversary party.”
“You wouldn’t see me or return my calls.”
“Let me be.” Elizabeth whispered refusing to look at him.
“Elizabeth, please hear me out.” He begged with his voice and pleaded with his eyes. “Please?”
“Are you happy, Will?” She cried. “We’re getting a divorce! Charles and I have separated and we’re getting a divorce!”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not. How can you stand there and call yourself Charles’ friend, or my friend for that matter? How could you?”
“I did what I thought was best. I did it for you.”
“For me?” Elizabeth shouted attracting sidelong glances from commuters as they walked passed. “If you were a such a wonderful friend, you would have supported me not undermine my marriage.”
Will tightened his hold on her and stared into her eyes with a frightening intensity.
“I will always regret that I hurt you, but I will never be sorry for doing what was right. Charles came to me for counsel and I told him the truth.”
“The truth? What do you know about my marriage? What insight could he have possibly gained from you?”
“Plenty. Open your eyes, Elizabeth.” Will spoke with rising impatience. “I only confirmed what he already knew, that your marriage was broken and beyond repair.”
Elizabeth stood silent emanating hurt and defeat, heedless of the tears streaming carelessly down her face. Will shifted his stance using his body as a shield, protecting her from the prying eyes of onlookers. He leaned in and brushed away the droplets from her cheeks with the back of his hand.
“You have no idea how much your eyes reveal about you, do you?” He murmured. “Elizabeth, Charles loves you so much but he always knew that your feelings were never as deep as his.”
“How would you know how I feel about Charles?”
“I know what it is like, because I have been there.” Will dropped his shoulders. “Caroline and I should have never gotten married. We were all wrong for each other. Even though that was a lifetime ago, I still have a hard time being honest with myself, but when I am, I can admit that no matter what she or I did, I would never return her feelings.
“Do you remember our conversation about that slippery slope where you live your life convincing yourself that you are content and happy, until you wake up one morning and you’re in free-fall? That was my relationship with Caroline. We tried for about a year to make it work until ultimately, we realized that there was no point in resuscitating a loveless marriage just for the sake of being married.”
“You don’t understand, Will. By interfering, you took away my chance at trying to save my marriage.”
“How does that work, Elizabeth? How could you save it? How do you force yourself to love somebody? How do you make yourself feel more than what you are capable of?
“Charles loves you, but he always knew that he had settled. He chose to marry you knowing that you were committing yourself to a life that was far less than what you wanted.”
Will ran his fingers through her long, auburn curls and cradled the back of her head bringing her into his chest. He tightened his arms around her juddering body, dispersing soft kisses along her temple and in her hair. Brushing his lips against the shell of her ear he spoke in a hushed tone. “This is your moment, Elizabeth. You can either fall back into complacency or you can seek out what will make you happy. Charles is giving you a second chance.”
“Stop!” She cried pressing her palms against his chest struggling to break out of his embrace overwhelming her.
She stumbled backwards and glanced away, avoiding his penetrating stare before turning wounded eyes back upon him. “How could you do that to Jane? She thought—”
“Marriage was never in our future and Jane knew that!” Will snapped thrusting out his forefinger. The infusion of ferocity in his voice kicked Elizabeth’s head back. “If we were to marry, it would have been Caroline all over again. It would have been you and Charles. I’m fond of Jane but—” He stopped, abruptly dropping his chin to his chest and cleared the constriction in his throat.
“How can you say that? Do you remember that night when the four of us went out to dinner? Do you? When we stepped off of that train I saw how you looked at her. How can you stand there and tell me that it meant nothing?”
Will rubbed his hands down his face and shook his head. Dejection covered him like a shroud.
“You know, it’s not just you, Elizabeth. We all want the same thing, to feel that rush when you see the person that you love step off of the train and know that they feel the same for you.”
“I don’t know what to think anymore.” She kept her focus over his shoulder refusing to meet his eyes. “That moment meant everything to me, Will. When I saw you look at Jane, you made me believe that maybe, just maybe, there is someone out there who is meant for me and that they are worth it all.”
“What did I do to make you believe that?” Will approached Elizabeth reaching for her hands with an urgency that forced her to take another retreating step.
“What was it that you saw?” He pressed.
“What didn’t I see?! You were overcome by her. Your whole face lit up, and you kept clearing your throat. You were breathing hard and when you went to take her arm, your hand was shaking. How can you react that way towards someone and claim that you were simply fond of them?”
“Elizabeth—”
“Why?” She wailed. Elizabeth’s eyes, brimming with anguish, sliced across Will. She swiped at her damp cheeks and pivoted on her heel.
~DY~
He wrenched his body against the back of the bench, tossed his briefcase onto the seat next to him, and sprawled out his legs. Twenty three days. It had been almost one month and the window seat remained unoccupied. He glanced across the empty space without seeing the imagery of a typical bustling Monday morning filling in the frame of plexiglass. His stare fell to the floor. With nothing to hold, he clasped his restless hands together. He forgot again.
“Is there room for me?”
His head shot up and the sight before him arrested his breath. She stood with downcast eyes, beautiful and sweet, uncertain and nervous. In her trembling hands she held two cups of coffee—just black, thank you.
She settled into the window seat beside him and he handed her back her cup.
“Thank you.” Her voice was husky and barely audible, accepting the proffered napkin to wipe up the spill.
Neither spoke as their bodies dipped and swayed to the rhythm of the jostling tracks underneath them. Anticipation lingered and mounted with each subsequent moment of silence. Lost onto everything but each other, the sights and sounds surrounding them blurred. On occasion, a deep breath or an errant sniffle breached their serenity. Her eyes misted as they both recognized the approaching gate that would forever represent that treasured memory. He followed her lead placing his cold coffee in its cup holder and waited.
Angling her body toward him, she cleared her throat and hesitated before touching his forearm. Her fingers moved tentatively down his arm to his wrist and splayed across the back of his hand. She slowly laced her fingers through his, raising his hand to her lips and pressing a warm kiss into his palm. Pulling her quivering lips in between her teeth, she held his palm against her face and caressed it with her cheek.
“How could I have been so blind?” She asked in an unsteady voice lowering her head and placing a small kiss on his thumb as it gently grazed her bottom lip. He brought his other hand up and cupped her face. His thumbs trembled, carefully wiping away the droplets streaming down her soft skin. Raising his chin he rested his forehead against hers and his eyelids drifted shut as his body released a shuddering breath.
He lowered his mouth to hers, their lips separated by a mere breath. Grasping his wrists with both hands she lifted her limpid eyes, drowning in so much emotion. She choked back a rising sob and pleaded in a broken whisper, “Please say it was me.”
He breathed, “It was always you.”
~~Finis ♥~~
© 2018 Olivia E. Landry. All Rights Reserved.