Chapter Text
“Something about myself?”
Ten tapped his chin in thought, squinting his eyes as though the answer would appear to him if he looked hard enough. Having glasses did nothing to aid his poor eyesight since he still needed to rapidly blink before fully comprehending his surroundings. He constantly must lean forward on his desk, tilting it with the weight of his body, to read what was written on the board. The same thing occurred whenever his specs slipped from his nose bridge when he kept his head down for too long. Everything just seemed to fall around him — his desk, his rusty glasses, the corners of his lips whenever they both acknowledged each other’s presence.
It annoyed Kun to no end.
“Of course you’re taking this long to answer. Your tongue is just as slow as your brain,” Kun huffed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest. He transferred his glare to the camera staring back at him and the producer standing right behind it. “Can I ask why we’re doing this again?”
“It’s a documentary about the two top students in school spending time together for a month,” the producer answered sincerely with a hint of exasperation in his voice, even though it was meant to be a rhetorical question. “Typically, the ranks of each student in a school setting are different but you two somehow maintained and shared the exact same rank for the past four years. It’s a rare case and frankly, the only one here in Seoul. We thought it would be good to share the struggles that students normally face, which perfectly matches our youthful theme.”
The fury blazing across his body grew even wilder because of that response. His skin prickled with agitation, clawing at him uncomfortably as the producer's explanation faded into static. He already knew what the documentary was for before signing up for the entire thing, so the adults in the room making him feel like he couldn't understand such a basic concept didn’t sit well with him. He wasn’t dumb and his perfect grades were the proof of that. He understood the impact this could bring to other students just like him and the good it could potentially cause. What he ultimately did not understand was why he had to do all this with him.
“Well, maybe if you ever bothered to listen— ,” he heard a voice seeth from beside him, each syllable dripping with irritation, “—instead of sticking your nose in other people’s business, then you wouldn’t even need to ask.”
“I’m sorry that I care about other people enough to understand that the world doesn’t revolve around me,” he shot back in return, still refusing to look back at the boy sitting inches away from him. He didn’t think connecting gazes with him would do anything to tame the flame of his anger. It was better to just ignore him like what he’d always done for the past four years.
In all their time together in high school, not once did he and Ten ever hold a decent conversation. There weren’t even that many conversations to begin with. Their mindsets and lifestyles clashed too much with one another with Kun staring straight ahead at the future and Ten simply flitting from moment to moment like they had all the time in the world. That free-spirited quality of his got under Kun’s skin each time he saw Ten drifting off into another world in the clouds whereas Kun kept himself rooted to the ground.
He enjoyed being this way, being grounded to something, being him and Ten was just everything but.
In an accidental glance, a judgemental stare, a strained smile from across the room or the hallway — he could already see how different they both were. Kun liked to talk, Ten didn’t. Kun liked to study, Ten didn’t. Ten liked to keep to himself, Kun didn’t. Ten dreamed too much, soared too high and Kun preferred to stay within reality.
They didn’t fit. They didn’t work. If there was anything that they were, then it would be this: complete opposites. Up and down. Hot and cold. The sea and the sky.
On the rare occasion that they could come together and meet on the horizon, none of their discussions ever came off as smooth sailing. A stray wind would always come to cause a shift in the sail and steer them off course. Kun enjoyed blaming the disruption on Ten’s disinterested approach to everything he did. Ten liked to refute this by saying that Kun cared too much about everything he did. Then they’d fight, and fight some more, and leave themselves struggling in the water.
It was better to just take a step back and walk in the other direction whenever he saw Ten coming towards him. To build up walls, to strengthen boundaries, to create distance in between them. They never shared a classroom before and they weren’t going to start now so that made it easier to keep away and it was as though the universe was only confirming his suspicions that they were meant to be apart. There was no possible way they could easily piece their lives together when they both came from separate puzzles.
Until they were both shoved into the same room with a camera sticking up their faces.
“Okay, okay, let’s just move on to the next question,” the producer said hastily after finally noticing the palpable tension rising between the two of them.
Kun saw him rub his temples before glancing at the cameraman only to receive an unsure shrug. His uncertainty and frazzled state caused a stir of guilt in Kun’s chest, making him put his arms down to his sides and take a deep breath. These people shouldn’t be in the crossfire of whatever he and Ten have going on; they were just here to do their jobs after all. But Ten was just so Ten and stopping himself from unleashing the rest of his anger for the next month was going to be very hard.
The producer signaled that they’d continue the filming by flashing the two a thumbs-up. Kun dismissed any negative thought, trying to compose himself as quickly as he could once he noticed that another question was heading their way. If he was going to tolerate Ten’s bitchy behavior for a while, then he needed to do his part and overlook a lot of Ten’s flaws by ignoring him. He straightened his posture, fixed his gaze forward, and braced himself for the next few words that would escape the producer’s mouth.
“Where do you two see yourselves in ten years?”
“Ten years?” Kun leaned back against his chair, contemplating the question with careful consideration. Although he made it seem like he had a plan, he honestly had no idea what he wanted to do with his life and ten years was a long way to go. A lot can happen within that period so nothing could ever be certain about the future no matter how much he prepared himself for it. But Kun always knew he was destined to do something great, something that would make his family proud and get them out of debt and poverty. He’d be standing proudly as he gazed at his accomplishments, making those ten years seem worthwhile and fulfilling.
“I’d be doing great at whatever I plan to do,” he answered confidently. “I know for sure that I’m going to lead a successful life in ten years.”
Ten snorted at that, making Kun take a break from answering to shoot daggers in his direction. Every plan he had to try and be nice to him was immediately burned to ashes. The other had to bite down the mocking grin spreading throughout his face as Kun clenched his shaking fists before giving an answer of his own.
“As for me….” Ten started, successfully managing to hold back his chuckles as he answered with as much sincerity as Kun could hear from him, “…I’m going to live a peaceful life. I’m going to live how I want to live in my own way.”
"One thing I'm certain about is that I won't have to see this —“ Kun cocked his head to his left, indicating to Ten. He felt challenged by Ten and Kun was never one to back down from a challenge. “— annoying face again in ten years."
Ten scoffed before rolling his eyes. “That’s the one thing we both can agree on.”
The entire crew groaned as the two went back to throwing insults at one another as the camera kept rolling. They had a couple more weeks to go until this was all over and Kun wasn’t sure how they’d manage to tolerate each other for an entire month when he already felt like strangling Ten with his bare hands.
This was not going to end well.
-
“That ending was shit!”
Twenty-nine year old Ten Lee winced as Minghao flew his arms up in the air after the film concluded. It was their regularly scheduled movie night over at Ten’s house so it was his turn to choose the film they’d watch. Like always, he selected some romcom on Netflix, which usually made his best friend whine about his terrible taste in movies.
“I don’t think it was that bad —“ Ten spoke up, trying to reason with his friend before the guy whipped his head around to frown at him. He instantly removed his hand from Minghao’s arm like it was a scalding hot iron. “Come on, Hao. It really wasn’t—”
“Everyone’s fucked up morals are totally overlooked by the ridiculousness of the entire thing!” Minghao complained, launching into a full rant of the movie they had just seen. Working in Korea’s biggest network company only made him even more passionate about movies, dramas, short films, and more as he droned on and on about every flaw his observant eyes managed to detect. Ten normally liked listening to his friend’s professional opinion on motion pictures but sometimes he never knew when to just sit down and enjoy things.
“They threw away such perfectly good lives to be with each other, which would have been romantic if they weren’t assholes to their significant others!” He continued on, grabbing the remote from Ten’s hand when he was about to switch the television off. The slow rolling of the credits greatly contrasted with Minghao’s rapid-fire complaints as he elaborated on his earlier statement to prove a point to no one in particular.
“They were both engaged to different people for fuck’s sake and they just threw all of it away! Do you condone this sort of behavior? Do you? Answer me!”
Ten rolled his eyes as soon as Minghao started shaking him, demanding a response. He used his free hands to dig them into Minghao’s ribs, making his body shake with laughter because of how ticklish he was. His friend countered this attack by grabbing the nearest pillow available and swinging it into the side of Ten’s face. They fell into the cushions as they continued to giggle, allowing themselves to be childish for a few more minutes.
“Why do you like romcoms so much anyway?” Minghao piped up once the laughter died down and their adrenaline faded away.
“They’re always so corny. And disgustingly cute. And they don’t even make sense half the time. It doesn’t even suit you when you’re always so turned off by every person that tries to shoot their shot with you, so why?”
“You pretty much just answered your own question.” Ten yawned, feeling the heaviness of his eyelids after a long night. He smiled wistfully, turning to his side so he could look at Minghao while explaining his love for the corny romance genre.
“It doesn’t make sense and things go wrong but they always manage to work their way through everything and —“ His lips curved downwards before revealing the main reason, “— and each love story always gets a happy ending. Not everyone can say the same.”
The teasing look in Minghao’s eyes was replaced with concern after the drop in his tone. “Hey, is this about —?”
“Good night!” Ten cut him off before he could continue, masking his discomfort about where the conversation was heading with a yawn.
"Get some rest!" he sang as Minghao's snarky demeanor returned, giving him an eyeroll before burying his body in the sheets Ten laid out for him. He hopped off the couch to make room for his friend to sleep on and headed towards his room to quieten the thoughts screaming at him from inside his mind.
Ten used to think he was never going to share his happy ending with another person until someone came to change that. He liked to think that he didn't need more people in his life besides the ones he already had. Until now, he still believed that sappy love stories filled with innocence and bliss just weren't for him. He had the chance to experience that and lost it; there was no need to repeat the same mistakes for the second time. Once was already enough. He reminded himself of all this before drifting off to sleep.
Ten was awoken the next morning by the sunlight filtering in his room through the window. His body ached from the amount of physical activity from the previous day so some of his joints popped when he tried to stretch himself awake. He made a mental note to ask Mark to make some time for him to go running as he threw on a sweater and headed downstairs to the kitchen.
“Ten!” Mark chirped brightly the moment Ten stepped into the room. His manager slash roommate was the embodiment of the sun itself, bright and cheery, and could easily bring up anyone’s mood. Despite how tired he still was, Ten gained enough energy from Mark’s perkiness to pull up a smile.
“Morning,” he greeted the boy, making his way towards the kitchen to fix himself some breakfast. “What’s got you so excited this early in the day?”
“Look at this!” Mark waved a brochure in his hand before shoving it into Ten’s face. “A new client mailed this along with a proposal for you! They invited you to the opening of that new boutique center, Miracle, to do a live drawing show for them! All you need to do is draw the boutique itself. Isn’t that amazing? You should call them back and —“
“No,” Ten cut him off before Mark could say anything further. “You know I don’t like having my face shown on camera. That’s why every interview I’ve done was through email. No one has ever seen what I looked like from the moment I started my art career and I’d like to keep it that way.”
“But this is such a good opportunity for you!” Mark protested, slamming the brochure onto the dining table. “Do you know how many people have their eyes on Miracle since its groundbreaking? It’s an institution that’s built to attract people from all over the world! And the architect who designed it was Lee Taeyong! Your Lee Taeyong!”
“Taeyong?” Ten’s eyes widened at the mention of his favorite architect. An excited squeal escaped his lips as he jumped up and down with delight. “Why didn’t you just start with that? You’ve got to learn how to deliver news more efficiently.”
“Well, I was getting to it!” Mark whined. “So are you going to do it?”
“We’ll see,” Ten answered, grabbing the brochure so that he’d be able to read it later. He wasn’t sure if he’d be ready to face a crowd of strangers but if he was given the opportunity to draw Lee Taeyong’s building and earn money from it, then who was he to turn down the offer right away? Only a crazy person would do such a thing. Ten may be a little eccentric at times but he was definitely not crazy, even if some people would like to say otherwise.
“So who’s the client?” Ten asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee from a nearby thermos. Mark didn’t give him an answer, which made him raise an eyebrow before turning to face him, thermos and cup still in hand.
Ten had known Mark long enough to know when something was off based on the tremble of his lower lip and evasive eyes. It only made his suspicions heighten further when Mark’s teeth peeked out to bite down on his shaking bottom lip. Ten was beginning to grow a little concerned, his heart thumping dangerously against the bones of his ribcage, as he prepared himself for what was about to come. Setting the thermos aside, he took a careful step forward in order to grab Mark’s full attention.
“Mark,” Ten repeated strongly and the firmness in his tone snapped Mark’s head up. He tried to search for answers in the younger’s eyes but found none. He wondered who it had to be for Mark to be so shaken up by the news. “Who. Is. The. Client?”
Mark sighed hesitantly before allowing a name to pass through his lips. A name Ten thought he’d never hear again. A name Ten never wanted to hear again.
“It’s Qian Kun.”
Coffee and shattered porcelain scattered all over the kitchen floor that morning.
-
50 DAYS
“God! You never know when to shut up, do you?”
Ten’s annoyance instantly disappeared once he saw the pout on Kun’s lips after his outburst. He sighed, releasing the tension from his tight muscles, before setting down the rake he was using to clean up the scattered leaves all over the campus grounds. He made his way over to the grassy area of the place where Kun had decided to rest after collecting trash the majority of the afternoon. He joined the boy, who was picking at the blades of grass and looking distracted by his own thoughts. He still didn’t look up at Ten when kneeled beside him and poked his ribs.
“What is it now?” he asked more gently, trying to contain his exasperation by forcing the corners of his mouth to curve upwards.
They had been cleaning the entire afternoon and he was starting to feel sticky as a result of the heat. He could already feel the sweat seeping through his undershirt, which was his own fault for refusing to take off the oversized hoodie he was wearing, and his skin was longing for the sensation of water to cool it down. He wouldn’t be able to go home and hop in the shower any time soon if Kun didn’t make a move and finish doing his tasks, though.
“We have to finish cleaning up by five and we’re already behind everyone else. Are you purposely trying to stall for time? Don’t you have to go to the academy after class? What are they going to tell your parents if you miss your session?”
“I don’t want to go to the academy!” Kun groaned, plucking the grass with more force than before.
Ten jumped back slightly because he wasn’t expecting such a violent reaction from someone who was normally composed and calm. Sure, he had seen Kun lose his temper multiple times (especially since Ten himself was the reason for it) but he had never seen him truly angered by anything nor could he even imagine it. He wasn’t ready to find out now when he was only trying to help.
“Sorry,” Kun said after a moment passed. He ran his fingers through his hair, sweat trailing down his forehead because of the sun beating down on him. Ten could easily see the signs of stress creasing his forehead and eyebrows as a result of his endless studying for the past few weeks. The sight of it caused a frown to form on his lips.
“I just wanted to take a little break for once before the exams and everything start flooding in,” Kun explained. “Sorry for dragging you into my scheme to skip the academy.”
“Well, fuck the academy!” Ten cheered, purposely making his voice loud enough to echo throughout the empty premises. He felt a hand slap itself across his mouth in order to shut him up and he grinned underneath Kun’s palm before removing it.
“I don’t mind honestly,” he added with a nudge, trying to get Kun to stop looking so distressed. “It’s not like I’m going to be directly affected by what you do. I’m not the one who’s going to get in trouble for skipping, am I?”
“And here I thought you were finally becoming more considerate of others’ feelings,” Kun grumbled.
“That’s not happening any time soon.” Ten scooted closer to where Kun was hugging his knees to his chest after inching away to sulk on his own. Ten silently copied his position, setting his chin down on his kneecaps and allowing the silence to wash over them, waiting for Kun to be ready to talk again until Kun broke it with another heavy sigh.
“What if I don’t get into a good college?” Kun whispered, his voice leveled but cracking with fear if one listened close enough. The more he spoke, the more his body shook with worry. After being forced to spend time with him for a month, Ten had gotten used to Kun’s overbearing, arrogant and controlling behavior but he had never seen this side of him before. It was unlike him to be so insecure and Ten absolutely hated seeing him this way. “Worse, what if you get into college and I don’t? What if we have to -”
“Oh my God, would you just shut up?!”
Ten grabbed both sides of Kun’s face before smashing their lips together to get him to stop talking. He felt the words die in Kun’s mouth as he slightly hitched his breath, transferring his hands from the ground to Ten’s waist. The touch caused a spark of electricity to fly from Kun’s fingertip, making Ten lean back to put distance in between them, noting the light blush coating Kun’s cheeks once they broke apart.
“That’s the first time we’ve kissed ever since we started dating 50 days ago,” Kun squeaked out after a pause, the blush that was spreading across the expanse of his face darkening rapidly.
“Huh,” Ten breathed out, attempting to look as unaffected as possible despite the butterflies flapping against the walls of his stomach with enough power to start a hurricane inside of him. Every single one of his nerves was tingling with a sensation he had never felt before like the sun exploded inside of his chest and sent a wave of light through his dim and hollow heart, illuminating him from the inside out. Heat quickly began to wrap itself around his cheeks, coloring them a dark red, so he covered it up by pulling the (Kun’s) hoodie he was wearing over his head to hide his flustered appearance.
“I guess it is,” he whispered, staring up at the clear sky to avoid looking at Kun although he could easily sense the lingering burn of his gaze on him. “I didn’t realize.”
He felt a head plop down on his lap, forcing him to look, and was met with Kun’s relaxed face. Ten quietly observed the way he seemed so content with his closed eyes and gentle grin as he soaked in the afternoon light, like he hadn’t been worrying about his entire future moments before. A hand tugged at the heartstrings of Ten’s chest the more he looked down at Kun’s sunkissed features.
He liked being the only person Kun showed this side of himself to. The side of him that was scared and nervous about everything but also loving and caring to the people he let into his life. Ten would always be thankful for being one of those lucky people; he couldn’t imagine a life without Kun now that he had seen what it was like.
“I like you so much,” Kun sighed, opening his eyes to look up at Ten with the most blinding smile on his face, rivaling the glow of the sun shining above them.
Ten had to fight the urge to bend down and feel that grin against his own lips so he opted for simply playing with the strands of Kun’s hair instead. He loved it when they were together like this, when they were just existing in each other’s space like the other belonged there. He never thought he’d find a home in anyone’s personal bubble except his own, but Kun somehow popped it and blew a bigger one for the two of them.
“I like you, Ten,” Kun repeated, his eyes sparkling with hope and bliss. “What about you?”
“I —“
The words were caught in his throat, trapped with no opening for them to escape. He knew what Kun wanted him to say, that he wanted to have his own confession reciprocated and materialized through words, but Ten was terrible with words and people and emotions so he couldn’t get his tongue to match the way his heart swooned whenever Kun’s eyes met his. He did always relay that message through his actions, which he believed spoke a thousand more volumes than his own voice. So he responded to Kun’s question by placing a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose, doing his best to ignore the disappointed flickering inside of Kun’s pupils once he pulled away.
“I’m hungry,” he said instead, pushing down his conflicting emotions, motioning for Kun to move his head from his lap so they could both stand up. “Do you want to go get ice cream together? My treat.”
“Yeah!” Kun’s disappointment was immediately erased from his face at the idea, sending a relieved sensation down Ten’s body. “Let’s go!”
Ten smiled before grabbing his boyfriend’s hand to lace their fingers together like their hands were specially crafted to hold one another. Ten may have been too cowardly to say that he was in love, but he could definitely feel that very warmth and affection coursing through his veins when he was able to hold Kun like this, when he had Kun’s hand encased in his own.
Ten silently swore to himself at that moment as they abandoned their cleaning tasks in search of ice cream, that he’d never ever let Kun go.
Until, one day, he did.