Work Text:
Eren said, musingly, "Hey, if we kill all our enemies… over there… will we finally be free?"
Everyone stood stock still, the white noise of the waves washing over them, underscoring the absence of words.
Eren gazed out into the horizon, his hair tossing in the breeze while no one moved.
Levi didn't grimace when he waded out into the filthy water. Hange gaped at him as he passed but he ignored them, pushing forward even as his boots dragged at his feet, and put his hand on Eren's shoulder. Waited until Eren turned to meet his eyes.
They were the same color as the sea, he realized. He let Eren search his face and hoped he found what he needed there. Sometimes it felt like he did. Like somehow something in Levi was the answer Eren needed.
"Come on, brat. We need to make camp."
Eren blinked, and then thank fuck, the kid was behind his eyes again instead of across the water fighting an enemy they'd never even seen.
"Yes," Eren agreed.
At some point it had stopped being as simple as a soldier following his superior. It wasn't always clear who led and who followed. Most days it felt more like a tether and it felt that way now, leading Eren out of the sea and back to solid ground, a tug that started under Levi's ribs and reached back to bring Eren with him.
Hange called after them, "Hey, you're not done already, are you? We just got here."
"I can't stand the sight of all of you frolicking in fish piss," he yelled back, feeling the water slosh around his feet as he trudged across the shore. There was grit between his toes he desperately hoped was salt and not fucking sand. It was gross.
From the corner of his eye, Levi saw Eren grin. Wet boots were worth it. He didn't smile enough.
No one followed them, which told its own story, but it was nice to have it be just the two of them working in concert again. They'd always worked well together, sometimes by deadly necessity, and what had grown was a familiarity that ran bone deep. He didn’t have to check what Eren was doing because he already knew.
He thought of all the days last winter when they'd gone out to burn off Eren's excess energy, chasing each other through trees that only sometimes took their weight, tumbling into the snow when the branches broke under their grapples. All the nights they'd stayed up long past the others, reading or cleaning, teaching Eren how to fight with a knife, their bodies close and warm in the cold rooms.
Levi could never truly relax because the work was never truly finished but it was easier with Eren than with most people. All his careful rules eroded away one by one in green eyes and laughter. Washed away like the sand on that filthy beach by the endless shit that was always being dumped over them. By all the relentless loss.
He wouldn't be another asshole heaping his own shit onto Eren's shoulders.
"Captain."
"Mm?" He glanced up as he drove the tent stake firmly into the gritty soil to find Eren watching him with soft eyes, open hands.
"Thanks."
Levi blinked. "For what?"
The half-staked tent flapped in the breeze beside him, but Eren was smiling in that fond way he had. The smile that did things to Levi's chest and he hoped his face was blank. He hoped he wasn't giving himself away. He was a practiced hand at hiding his feelings for Eren but even he wasn’t perfect.
"For making me put up tents. For always treating me like I'm a human."
"You are always human," Levi answered, and his voice wasn't as calm as he'd like it to be, a hint of the anger seeping through. At this shitty, wonderful world that made this beautiful idiot and also destroyed his life before he could ever really live it.
He delivered a particularly vicious kick to the next tent stake, like it was personally responsible for the fact that somehow Eren had become one of the few living people Levi actually liked.
Like he didn't want to do something completely stupid about it while he still could.
He walked over to where Eren was crouched enjoying the sensation of looking down into his eyes. Something he never got to do now that Eren was the size of a small tree.
"What? You thought just because you can turn into a monster the size of a house you were going to get out of the shitty parts of being a scout?"
Eren smiled. Levi would do a lot of things to make Eren smile. "No, sir."
Levi snagged the still free tent corner, his boot striking down hard and fast and satisfying. Some things were still easy to solve.
+
It was well past midnight when Levi heard someone approaching. His hand drifted to a blade before the step became clear and he relaxed.
"Levi?" Eren asked softly, then lifted the flap of the tent when Levi grunted. "Can I come in?" He entered without waiting to be invited.
"What is it?"
"I… That is, can I stay with you tonight?"
Levi glared at the ceiling. This was just cruel. "Get the fuck out of my tent, Eren."
Eren knelt by the foot of Levi's bed roll and he looked so exhausted that Levi didn't move to physically kick him outside, yet. But it was a near thing. Eren wouldn’t meet his eye but he leaned in, unconsciously maybe. His shoulders hunched towards Levi, towards the ground. Every line of him was heavy.
"I don't want to be alone."
Levi stared past him as if he could find a way out of this conversation written on the canvas above them. He fisted his hands to keep them still and forced himself to swallow past the dryness in his throat. "You should find your friends."
"I can't. The things in my head…" Eren looked at the dirt, hopelessly. "I can't tell them these things. You saw them at the beach. They're… they wouldn't understand."
And Levi would. Mikasa and Armin had done terrible things, just like Hange had done terrible things. And Jean, and Sasha, and Connie, and everyone they knew, basically. But not like them. Not like Eren, and Levi, and Erwin had done terrible things, over and over and over with their eyes open.
Eren understood now that good people could do terrible things and still be good.
That not everyone who did good things was good by default.
Levi became distantly aware of his pulse hammering away in his chest. "Eren…”
He should stop this. He should kick Eren out of this tent right now by force if necessary. He should end this before it got any worse than it already was. He was an adult. They were at war.
"Please," Eren said simply and Levi saw the courage it had taken Eren to walk in this tent and ask for this at all.
It was silent for too long. Long enough that Eren’s face fell and he asked, “Do you want me to leave?”
"You're half my age," Levi said, reminding both of them, but it sounded hollow even to himself. It sounded exactly like the excuse it was, and his voice was rough with his own longing.
Because he hadn’t kicked Eren out, had he? And they both knew why. He never pushed Eren away, even when he should. Levi didn’t want him to leave.
Eren shrugged, the lines of him shifting beautifully in the lamplight. "I won't make it to twenty four."
If Eren had punched him it would have hurt less. Levi realized he'd stopped breathing and forced himself to start again. Forced his throat to work as it swallowed down whatever sound had been clawing its way up his throat when those words hit him.
Eren was right. How much time would have to slip past them? How much would Levi regret one day? It was too late to avoid the pain of losing Eren at all. The only question left to answer was how much it was going to haunt Levi when Eren was dead.
Levi couldn't think of a reason good enough to send Eren away. He couldn't think of any reason not to offer the only comfort Eren had ever asked for from him. They didn't have the luxury of time.
It wasn't going to be less fucked in two years. In ten maybe. In fifteen when Eren had had time to become whoever he was meant to be, but there was no possibility of that for them. Ever. There was no future.
There was only right now and this stupidly brave kid waiting for Levi to stop being a coward and own up to whatever this thing was between them.
And Levi was tired.
He felt the wild thrill of a steep fall in his guts when he made up his mind. It was going to hurt when they hit bottom. So badly.
"Damn it." Levi shifted back and lifted his blanket. Eren's mouth dropped open but after a second he scrambled in beside Levi like he was afraid there was a time limit on the offer, his long legs getting in the way until Levi kicked his shin.
"Stop fidgeting. Your feet are filthy."
Eren smiled, comforted as he tried to figure out what to do with his arms. "Where should I put them, sir?"
Levi frowned. "Don't call me sir while we're in bed together. Turn over." And he rearranged them until he was snuggled against Eren from knee to nape, Levi’s breath ghosting over the exact spot he would have to cut to kill him.
He had to admit this was a much more pleasant way to spend the night. The brat was as good as a campfire for warmth and something in Levi's chest relaxed having him here. Close enough to hold. Close enough to protect which was ridiculous. Neither of them could ever protect the other. It was their duty to run headfirst at whatever danger threatened and they would always do it.
But not tonight. Tonight Eren was warm in his arms, whole and alive. He wouldn't detract from that by gazing into a future that didn't exist. That couldn't be prevented.
Eren's heart was pounding under Levi's hand. Fear, maybe, or anticipation. Or both.
"This is all that's happening tonight," Levi told him and he felt Eren shiver, but the words had their desired effect and Eren nodded, relaxing into the embrace.
In the quiet, if he listened, Levi could just hear the waves hurling themselves perpetually at the shore.
Eren slotted their fingers together and stroked his thumb, and then, because Eren had yet to meet a wall he wouldn't throw himself against, he drew their hands up to press a kiss to Levi's knuckles.
Levi held him tighter, feeling the beats of Eren's heart like a clock winding down.
Maybe Levi wouldn't make it until Eren was twenty four, either.
+
He woke up to find himself entirely sprawled over. Eren had turned in the night, wrapping all of himself around Levi as tightly as possible. He had drooled all over Levi's shoulder. He had terrible morning breath, and Levi could not have cared less.
His chest ached with how little he cared about anything but this moment. And that was exactly why this was so dangerous. He had to care. Eren had to care and this could never be more important than humanity no matter how much it felt like it was.
Eren shifted as he started to wake and Levi hissed in a breath as Eren's erection pressed insistently against his hip.
The brat's eyes shot open like he'd managed to forget he brazened his way into sharing a bed with his superior.
Their eyes met in the pre-dawn darkness and Levi held his breath. Eren was blushing furiously. Levi could feel the heat of it on his chest through his shirt. This felt precarious in a way he'd never known. He didn't like feeling uncertain.
Eren looked just as lost for a moment before his face took on a steely resolve and he ground himself purposely and deliberately against Levi, pressing his knee against Levi's cock.
Little shit. But Levi looked into his too sad eyes on his too young face. A face that would never be old.
If not now, when?
Levi slid his hand behind Eren's knee and rocked up, savoring the shocked look on Eren's face as he realized Levi was hard, too. He took advantage to flip them so Eren was beneath him, pinning him at the hips, but Levi kept his weight off him. If Eren wanted to leave, he could.
"Levi," Eren gasped, his pupils blown out, his blush staining his chest under the hem of his shirt and Levi had the urge to chase that heat with his tongue.
"You've made it clear what you want." Levi leaned down until their mouths were almost touching, the strain in his arms was worth it for the wanting way Eren leaned up, seeking contact, but Levi waited until he was sure Eren was paying full attention, "If that changes, you have to tell me. It can be an order if that's what you need it to be. You will not allow yourself to do anything you don't want to do. In this. With me."
Eren swallowed, his voice breathy and wrecked as he said, "I don't think there's anything I don't want with you."
And Levi had barely touched him. It was intoxicating. "You're sixteen," Levi growled, "and I'm your commanding officer, and one day I might have to kill you. Things can change."
Eren skimmed his hands up Levi's back, tracing along his spine. Levi arched into it like a cat, chasing the warmth and pressure of those big hands. "If anyone has to kill me, I hope it's you because I'll know it was necessary."
Fuck. Fuck. This stupidly trusting kid. This awful, wonderful fucking brat.
"I need to hear it from you, that you'll stop me if I do something you don't want."
Eren rolled his eyes, like the absolute shit he was. "Fine. Levi, I want you to stop talking and-"
Levi stopped talking, slotting his mouth down as he dropped his weight, swallowing the choked sound Eren made as their cocks finally ground against each other through their pants.
It was awkward until it wasn't. Until Eren figured out how to push up to meet the pressure of Levi's body. Until he gasped and Levi pressed into that inviting warmth, tongue sliding between Eren's parted lips. Wet heat, long slippery strokes into Eren's mouth, teasing and intense all at once. Eren moaned and it wasn't a rhythm but it was good. It was so good.
Eren's skin was hot to the touch as Levi slipped his hands under the edges of Eren's shirt. His hips twitched more or less constantly up, up, up, chasing contact everywhere he could find it. His hands clawed at Levi's back as Eren threw himself headlong into sex the way he threw himself into every fight he'd ever found. All instinct and no finesse and it was perfect.
Levi broke the kiss to trail his tongue down Eren's jaw, licking and biting as he went. He was careful to leave no marks Eren would need to explain. And Eren was making these tiny noises. Not quite whimpers but little needy sounds, his whole body straining towards what was potentially his first orgasm with another person.
Levi wasn't nice. He was many things, not all of them bad, but nice wasn't one of them and even so, even knowing it wasn't in his nature he was struck by the sudden thought that Eren's first time having sex should have been with a nice person who could be sweet. Not some surly old asshole like him.
Eren chose that moment, or maybe took advantage of that moment when Levi was distracted, to slide his leg up, to press his knee against Levi's balls. Levi moaned, thrust his hips down hard to meet Eren. He hadn't planned on coming, expecting that Eren wouldn't last and that would have been fine, but his orgasm was closer than he'd realized. The tension coiled tight and hot along his spine, drawing him in with it, but he wasn't ready to come.
Levi rolled onto his back, settling Eren on top of his hips.
"Levi?" Eren looked lost so Levi had to pull him down by that ridiculous hair and kiss him until he looked pleased again. Until he was sighing little happy noises into Levi's mouth, breath and laughter and joy and Levi suddenly knew beyond anything that he wanted this. Imperfect and wrong and complicated and them, together, like this. As much as he could have.
It will be worth the pain, he thought. To have it now. While he could.
"Relax," Levi whispered against his mouth. "Do what feels good."
Eren nodded, still confused but not lost anymore. He would find his way. "I liked… before… when we were…" He rolled his hips experimentally. The friction was electrifying and Levi hissed again. "Like that?" Eren asked. "Is that good?"
Levi planted his feet for leverage, shifted his grip until he could press Eren down in time with his own thrusts. Too rough and too dry and maddeningly perfect to watch Eren's eyes go soft and unfocused as the sensations washed over him. His cock was a hot line even through two layers of clothing.
Levi set a rhythm and after only a few guided rolls Eren picked up on it. He was a fast learner as long as someone demonstrated first. It wasn't long before they were both panting again.
"I… should I…? Levi!" Eren threw his head back, his fingers sinking into the meat of Levi's shoulders as he came. He was beautiful. So beautiful, cheeks red, hair a wreck, his mouth open on a nearly silent whine.
Levi pressed the heel of his own hand to his cock and came in his pants like the teenager he wasn't, looking up at Eren's face. They were both fully dressed still, which seemed both absurd and exactly right for the ass backwards way they did everything else.
Levi slowed his movements. He traced small circles on Eren's hips waiting for him to come back down from the high.
After a few moments he slumped forward and Levi pulled on him until he was lying on his side, his head on Levi’s shoulder, arms and legs draped across Levi’s body in a lazy sprawl.
"Wow," Eren said into the quiet.
"Eloquent."
Eren lifted a hand and let it fall with a thwack on Levi's chest. His conscience twinged at him so he caught the offending hand in his. Turned it over and pressed a kiss to the knuckles like Eren had done the night before.
"If you're not 'sir' when we're in bed together, can I tell you to shut up?"
Levi felt his lips twitch in a small smile. "No. Now shut up and let me enjoy this, Eren."
"Yes, sir." He had the nerve to salute.
Levi drew in a deep breath to force his chest to expand around the clutch of his heart. He was so completely fucked it was terrifying.
After a while he got up and found a rag. He did his best to clean himself up and then found a second for Eren to use. It was probably good for both of them to remember the less glamorous parts of sex. The ride today with tacky pants would do wonders for their restraint.
Probably.
Hopefully.
Eren blushed furiously when Levi offered him the cloth, looking back and forth between it and Levi’s face like he wanted to crawl in a hole and die rather than clean himself up.
It was annoying, and also fucking adorable and Levi couldn’t repress the urge to fuck with him over it a little.
“What?” He demanded, thrusting the rag into Eren’s hovering hand.
“I… it’s…” He looked at the rag like it was a snake about to bite him.
“Eren, don’t make it weird. Clean up your damn dick.”
Levi was moderately surprised Eren didn’t start steaming from sheer mortification. He took pity and started packing to give the kid a modicum of privacy.
After, when Eren tucked himself away, Levi said, "You never told me what it was." Eren looked at him blankly. "Last night. You never told me what the things were that you couldn't tell your friends."
"Oh." Eren looked away, west, in the direction of the shore. If there had been no tent, he would have been looking across the sea towards an enemy only he knew from his nightmares.
"I know I pushed for this, but…" He grabbed Levi's wrist, tight. "I feel lost, inside. In my head. I have all these memories of people who are dead and all of them are always suffering and I can't get away from all this pain when it's just me, alone in here. When I see them in my dreams."
Levi could feel the bones of his wrist grinding together under the force of Eren's grip. There was a madness in his eyes when he finally turned his gaze to Levi. A blank, hateful emptiness that was so wrong on Eren's face it made Levi's stomach turn but he forced himself to meet it. Not to turn away from Eren when he needed someone to see.
Levi could bear it. He'd borne much worse for people he liked much less.
Eren's voice shook almost as much as his hand squeezing into Levi's bones. "I need something good. I know it's unfair of me, but you're the only… the only one I trust. I know you already have enough dead people to worry about without adding mine. I'm sorry."
Levi slipped his free hand into the hair at the nape of Eren's neck, tugging until Eren dropped his forehead to rest on Levi's shoulder.
"You complete fuckwit."
Eren let out a bark of laughter that sounded like he might also be crying. He released Levi's bruised wrist and wrapped both arms around Levi's shoulders, burying his face in Levi’s hair. Levi gripped his neck and ran his other hand up under Eren's shirt to stroke his shaking back. The knobs of his spine felt too sharp and Levi made a note to feed him more often. The stress his body was constantly under was starting to take too high a toll.
"You're a moron if you don't see that I want you to burden me, Eren. You think I'm fucking you because I just can't keep it in my pants? Because it's so convenient to be involved with a teenager who's also my subordinate?"
Eren sniffled and Levi pressed his nose to the crook of Eren's neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and horse and harness leather and the musty smell from the ocean that they might never be able to scrub out of their gear, the lingering musk of sex. It was disgusting and Levi knew he was gone on this stupid kid because he didn't give two shits about the smell. He only wanted to be closer.
"Fucking or not fucking, whatever. That's just noise."
When Eren finally did speak it was with his lips pressed so tightly against Levi’s skull that Levi almost didn’t understand.
“I keep remembering how it felt when I — when he — squished them. Like ants at a picnic. I feel ribs between my teeth when I try to eat.” Eren was crying in earnest now. “Sometimes when I look at people, I wonder what kind of crunch they’d make.”
They stayed like that until dawn slipped into the tent beside them. Levi ignored the ache in his wrist and held on.
+
Hange, who could be annoyingly perceptive, looked between them for a moment, surprised or perplexed. "Really?" They asked. Not unkindly, because Hange was seldom unkind. "I didn't think you were interested in that sort of thing."
Levi watched Eren as he mounted, laughing a little at something Armin said.
"I'm not," Levi answered. "Most of the time."
"Hm. Well, I'm happy for you." They studied his face for a moment. "Although you don't seem happy for you."
Levi gazed flatly at nothing while his stomach clenched, a yawning premonition of the loss that awaited him soon, sooner, sooner again as the waves crashed one after the other in their ears.
"Besides the fact that he has the life expectancy of a dog and I'm violating every ethical consideration I can think of by participating, I'm thrilled. Why wouldn't I be happy?"
"Eh," Hange shrugged, kicking lightly to bring their horses closer together, a sad look in their eye. They didn’t have to say Moblit’s name to summon his ghost. "Life is short for scouts. And for shifters. If you make each other happy, then be happy."
"You haven't asked if my judgment will be impaired."
Hange laughed, "I don't need to ask that, Levi. Scouts! Move out!"
"Some days I don't know why I tolerate you."
Hange grinned. "It seems you don't know why you like anyone! I'm in excellent company. Perhaps I should ask Eren to form a club."
"You're insufferable.”
"I like you, too, Levi! Don't feel so insecure." Hange leaned forward in the saddle. "I probably shouldn't tell you this but I have a good line of research going right now. It may help with at least one of your problems.”
Levi glanced sharply at them, but Hange wasn't looking back. Muttering to themselves about formulations, fingers twitching against the reins as though taking invisible notes. Hange was brilliant and they tended to underpromise and over deliver rather than risk disappointing the people they cared for.
If Hange was telling him about it, it must be genuinely promising.
Against his will, Levi's eyes found Eren in the caravan. His brown hair gilded in the morning light, pale beneath his ever-present tan in a way he hadn't been even two months ago. He looked happier this morning than he had for a while. The dark circles under his eyes were lighter but not gone. It would take more than one night of sleep to remove them.
An ache struck straight through Levi at the sight, sharp and smooth as one of his knives, as if by letting Eren into his bed he had thrown open all the doors of his own defenses. Or as if Eren had thrown open all Levi's defenses to find his way into Levi's bed in the first place.
Eren caught him staring and beamed, brighter than the sun behind him by far.
Levi's heart twisted in his chest. It felt traitorously close to hope.
He looked away.
Hange slapped his shoulder hard. “Hey, I could fire you! That would solve two!”
By the time they made camp that night, everyone was falling out of their saddles with exhaustion. The cartographers sat huddled together going over their horseback sketches with the notable exception of Jean and Armin, who both chose a place at the 104th fire.
Many of the soldiers preferred to be in their tents as quickly as possible. It was one thing to crave open spaces, another to exist in them after decades of ingrained fear, but these six seemed impervious to the effect.
They got stuck with watch duty more often than seemed appropriate and it wasn't until Levi caught Sasha trading an overnight shift for bread that it started to make more sense.
Their happy chatter drifted across the breeze in the deepening gloom and Levi drifted closer, too, drawn by the brightest laugh he'd ever known.
Mikasa was frowning in the way that meant no one was taking her as seriously as she'd prefer.
"I think it's good," Armin shrugged.
Eren rolled his eyes. "I didn't say we were," he protested futilely. Eren was hopeless at hiding anything. Levi probably shouldn't be surprised Eren's friends knew already, less than a day later.
Levi wondered if it would be a problem when they got back inside the walls, but that was tomorrow's trouble.
Armin gave Eren the look that meant he wasn't fooling anyone.
"It's inappropriate," Mikasa said.
"You're not my mother, Mika. Just leave it." But a blush had crept up Eren's throat betraying the truth.
"Isn't he like forty?" Jean needled from his spot near Mikasa's foot.
"Who cares?" Sasha asked, ripping a bite violently off her ill-gotten rations. "My ma was thirty when she married my pa."
When it became clear Sasha wasn't going to finish her story, Jean prompted, "Who was…?"
"Huh?"
Jean rolled his eyes. "How old was your father when he married your mother, Sasha? Kind of need that information for her age to mean anything."
"Oh! He was nineteen!" The bread was entirely gone somehow. Her eating was actually impressive even if it did make field rations a nightmare.
Connie leaned in. "Well, I say good luck with that one, buddy. Captain Levi is for sure too anal for anal."
Jean laughed spitefully while Eren glared. Mikasa snorted into her scarf.
Levi considered stepping out of the shadows but after a few seconds Eren blinked, his eyes catching the light dangerously.
He locked eyes with Connie. "So?" He asked, deceptively soft.
"So good luck getting your dick wet," Jean sniped, erasing something from his sketchbook.
Eren shifted so the firelight turned his gaze dark and heavy. Intentional or not, the effect was unsettling. To the others as well, if the way they went suddenly still around Eren was any indication. He looked menacing. Only Sasha seemed unaffected as she diligently licked her hands for crumbs.
Levi's stomach swooped with arousal. There was something consuming about that look that he wanted to feel directed at him. It probably said unflattering things about him as a human that he was attracted to Eren’s violence.
"Who said I wanted to get my dick wet? I'm a creative guy."
"Fucking hell, Jaeger. You're disgusting." Jean did indeed look a bit green. Connie and Sasha were staring owlishly. Mikasa glared at the fire like it had personally wronged her.
Eren added, "And I'm very. Very. Persuasive."
And as much as Levi would have loved to hear what came out of Eren's mouth next, he was now uncomfortably hard and far more interested in doing exactly what Eren had suggested.
He was already going to hell. He might as well enjoy it.
"Flexible, too," Levi agreed, stepping forward to draw their attention.
"Fuck!" Connie yelped, falling backwards off his seat on the log. Sasha cackled with a mouth full of gherkin she had produced from nowhere. "Shit, Sash, it's not funny." Which of course only made her laugh harder. Armin snickered into his hand as Connie scrambled up, rubbing his hip with a sour face.
Eren met Levi's eyes with fond amusement and a challenging look. He knew Levi had been listening. Levi wanted to taste that look. "Sir."
"Arlert, you have first watch. The rest of you get some sleep while you can."
Armin nodded, "Yes, sir."
The others were suddenly very busy not meeting Levi's eyes.
Connie and Sasha shoved at each other good naturedly as they moved off into the twilight together. Jean slouched into his tent studiously avoiding eye contact with everyone present.
Levi made a small gesture with his hand. Join me? Eren gave a tiny jerk of his chin down. Yes. And then flashed a flat hand, fingers spread. Five minutes.
Levi moved off into the shadows again, but he stayed within earshot. He could blame old habits, and there was some of that in it, but mostly he was just selfishly curious.
Mikasa, to her credit, waited until she thought he couldn't hear them, at least.
"Eren."
Eren sighed, "I don't expect you to approve, Mikasa."
"Approve? Eren, he's twice your age and he's your squad leader! This isn't about whether I approve."
Armin said, "He isn't stupid. He knows what he's doing."
"How!?" She hissed. "How would he know what he's doing!?"
"As much as I love being talked about like I'm not even here, I'm out," Eren said, his harness creaking faintly as he rose from sitting.
But Mikasa wasn't done. "Eren, you can't just run away from this."
"I'm not," he snarled, his temper finally getting the better of him. "I'm running away from this conversation which is pointless."
"What are you even getting out of this, Eren? This isn't good for you." And it was dangerously close to what Levi himself had said not even yesterday. Eren obviously thought so, too, making a low, frustrated noise.
"Levi has never once tried to make my decisions for me. Unlike some people I know!"
"And worse," she went on as if Eren hadn't spoken, "you don't know what he's getting out of it."
Eren's laugh was full of venom. "Right, because I'm sure he gets lots of satisfaction hearing me talk about what it feels like to crush a ribcage in my teeth. Just fuck off, Mikasa. Please. I don't care what you think about this."
He stomped off into the darkness, ostensibly to find Levi but Eren didn't even see him as he stormed past. A few minutes alone would probably do him some good.
Levi waited, feeling the bark of the tree against his back.
Armin said softly, "You don't know what it's like, to have the memories eat at us. If Levi helps him, and I think he does, then I think you should leave it alone, Mikasa."
"It's not right," she hissed, and Levi could just picture the look on her face, like she was two seconds from coming to fight him for her brother's honor.
"You can't be surprised by it. They've always been different with each other."
"That doesn't mean I have to like it."
"If you fight him on this, he'll pull away. He needs you, Mikasa. But not to protect him from the captain. He needs you to be there for him. And so do I."
"Armin…"
"No, it's okay. I know why you've been focused on him. Keep watch with me. You can rant about how Captain Levi is a dirty old man and get it out of your system."
"He is a dirty old man," she muttered darkly.
The fire crackled as someone added kindling.
Armin said, "I get why you're upset, but… you have to know it's not like that." Silence. "I see. That's what worries you."
"I can't protect him if I don't understand, Armin."
"Maybe Levi can."
+
He found Eren sitting on a rock twenty meters from camp. Not so far he was at risk, but not close enough for anyone to spot him, either.
Levi moved to stand next to him.
"You heard that, I suppose."
"Mm," Levi agreed, his eyes tracing the shape of Eren's profile in the blackness. Levi didn't need to be able to see his expression to know it.
"Sorry."
"You're lucky." Eren glanced up at him, the moon illuminating a sliver of his face. "They care about you a lot," Levi explained.
Eren smiled at last and Levi's stomach swooped. "They call you a pervert and you tell me I'm lucky to have them."
"Your sister called me a pervert," Levi corrected him. "Springer called me a prude."
Eren laughed. "True." His long fingers were occupied ripping apart a strand of grass he'd plucked from the dunes. "Which rumor do you suppose will win?"
Levi smirked, an irresistible urge rising within. "Well, that depends." He stepped closer until he was standing directly in front of Eren who dropped the grass and leaned back, his legs parted to make space for Levi to stand between them. Eren gazed up at him with naked wonder.
Levi reached for him, skimmed his knuckles across the side of Eren's neck and slid his fingers into the hair at Eren's nape.
"On?" Eren gasped, his own hands brushing up the backs of Levi's thighs leaving tingling trails in their wake.
Levi tightened his hand until Eren whimpered, his chest thrust out to press them flush, his pupils blown in the moonlight, dark with lust as his big hands found Levi's hips and squeezed.
The moment stretched and Levi felt his own pulse hammering in his fingers as he leaned down, used his grip to angle Eren up so his lips could graze the shell of Eren's ear. The cold stone dug into his knee as he shifted them back until Eren was beneath him but that didn't matter at all as Levi feasted on the lean expanse of skin from Eren's shoulder to his jaw.
"On how loud you are while I suck you off tonight."
Eren trembled in his grasp. "Levi!"
Levi dragged his tongue down to the join of shoulder and neck, nosed aside the edge of Eren's shirt. He released his grip on Eren's hair and suddenly there were arms and legs wrapped around his entire body, clawing and pulling, writhing like a wild animal. The trembling hadn't been fear, it had been Eren pulling taut like a bow string and now he was loosed, all that restrained power unleashed toward a singular goal.
Levi held on as Eren slotted their mouths together roughly, almost painfully, his tongue sliding over Levi's with a sinful drag that had them both panting.
When they finally broke apart, Eren wrapped his long fingers around the back of Levi's skull and stared into him, those enormous green eyes that had always seen too much stripping Levi raw.
"I want to make you come. I want you to suck me off more than anything and then I want to make you come, too. Please, Levi," Eren murmured, and Levi swore, his cock jumping in his trousers.
Levi felt dizzy, drunk almost. This was absurd. It was mad and stupid and his instinct told him to run now before it was too late.
But there was a different instinct, too, that told him to get closer. A pull in his bones that wanted to press together until no one could tell them apart. One creature, one future. Together.
It seemed impossible that only days ago Levi believed he could never let himself have this and now he couldn't imagine letting it go.
No, that wasn't true. Now he could imagine all too well what it would look like when Eren was gone.
Shut up, Levi told himself sternly. Eren wasn't gone. He was here. Alive and warm and writhing under Levi's body, his eyes fierce and black with desire, begging to take Levi apart. And Levi was going to let him.
It was painfully clear just how much Levi was going to let him.
Levi kissed him again, slow and dirty. Eren's moan reverberated in Levi's chest. He kissed his way down Eren's throat, across his clavicle, and after a moment’s consideration, decided the laundry was worth it. He dropped to his knees in the grass and the dirt.
He held Eren's eyes as he popped the buttons on his trousers and Eren hissed each time Levi's knuckles brushed him through the fabric, his stomach twitching, his big eyes rapt on Levi's face.
When Levi took him in hand, Eren threw his head back into the stone so hard it steamed faintly in the moonlight.
Levi buried his nose in the coarse hair around Eren’s cock until all he could smell was Eren’s sweat and skin. Tentative fingers threaded into his hair as Levi licked up the underside of his cock and over the leaking slit at the tip.
He only hesitated for a moment before he took Eren's wrist and pressed those long fingers harder into his own skull, shivering at the sensation. "Go ahead," he encouraged, and then he opened his mouth and took as much of Eren's cock as he could.
"Fuck! Levi! Nnnngh." It sounded like Eren had shoved his own fist in his mouth to stay silent. Distantly Levi thought he should probably be concerned Eren might transform accidentally, but he didn't care. Not when he had the intoxicating weight of Eren's cock on his tongue. Eren's desperate, broken cries filling his ears.
Eren’s fingers gripped Levi’s hair at the roots, his hips bucking up erratically as he used Levi’s mouth and Levi hummed encouragement. It had been a long time since he’d done this for anyone but it wasn’t particularly complicated. He could taste the bitterness of Eren’s precome already. He was close. Levi slid one hand up the hard plane of Eren’s stomach. His other he slid down to press behind Eren’s balls and that was all it took.
Eren came with a shout and Levi swallowed around him, tiny cries betraying the overstimulation. Finally Eren pushed him away but not far. Only far enough to drag Levi up by his harness and bury his face in the skin of Levi’s throat.
Levi waited patiently, stroking Eren’s shoulders and hair as his breathing evened out and he stopped shuddering. Levi made soothing noises without words while Eren clung on and found his way back to himself.
“I didn’t know it would be like that,” Eren managed, his voice still shaken and breathy.
“Like what?” Levi asked, pulling back slightly to see Eren’s eyes.
They were steady and adoring, naked devotion shining even in the dark. “Like flying.”
For me, Levi thought with all the subtlety of a kick in the head. This is only for me. Right or wrong, this was Eren’s gift to him. His first kiss. His first fuck. Those moments were Levi’s now, forever.
It felt like a benediction he didn’t deserve.
“Okay, your turn,” Eren breathed, tucking himself back into his trousers with a hiss. He slithered gracelessly out from under Levi with shaking legs, plopping into the dirt without self-consciousness as he tried to maneuver Levi into a more accessible position, pressing him back until Levi sat on the rock Eren had just vacated, the warmth of his body still radiating up into Levi’s skin.
It was painfully Eren. All enthusiasm, zero consideration. Just shove until things line up.
“Do you know how?” Levi asked archly, mostly to see the bitchy look Eren shot him as he rearranged to sit more comfortably, legs spread to make space which Eren immediately claimed for himself with a pleased hum.
“I’m positive,” Eren snarked, fingers surprisingly steady as he opened Levi’s buttons, “that I can figure it out.”
And then, without any sort of ceremony or hesitation, Eren pulled Levi’s dick free and immediately tried to deep throat him.
“Fuck!” Levi fisted his hands in Eren’s hair tugging him up even as Eren gagged around him, throat fluttering around the head as Levi panted and petted him in an effort to soothe them both.
Eren refused to be removed completely so Levi settled for running his nails against Eren’s scalp, his big, pretty eyes leaking slightly at the corners as he held Levi’s gaze.
Levi shuddered as Eren wrapped a hand around him, bobbing his head in time with his fist as shocks of pleasure fizzled Levi’s nervous system with each pump.
“Yes,” Levi murmured. “Like that. Tighten your fist.”
Eren was a fast learner when he wanted to be, and he wanted to be. He found a rhythm, pressing up with his tongue each time he dipped his head down, the pressure dragging the head of Levi’s cock across the roof of his mouth with every quick press inside.
Eren’s mouth was hot around him and it wasn’t long before Levi’s thighs were quaking as much from the sensation of being sucked off as from the knowledge that it was Eren doing this to him. Eren taking him methodically apart in the middle of nowhere as he made a very solid attempt to suck Levi’s soul out through his dick.
“I’m close,” Levi warned, tapping his fingers against Eren’s jaw, but Eren hummed around him, wanton, the vibrations quivering along Levi’s spine as Eren’s hand moved faster.
Levi realized he wasn’t so much cupping Eren’s face as clutching it, a groan tearing out of him as Eren twisted his wrist on the downstroke and it was almost enough. His thighs shook in earnest with the tension of chasing his orgasm. He was so fucking close.
In his haste to get Levi off, Eren’s lips pulled back. His teeth scraped up the underside of Levi’s cock and the noise that burst out of him was unrecognizable. Levi’s orgasm tore through him like lightning, searing his bones as his muscles all spasmed at once, violent and consuming. His vision went white and he was only distantly aware he was still making noises; wounded, desperate, embarrassing noises that he could not be assed to hold back as Eren continued to work his cock until the aftershocks became borderline painful and Levi tapped his shoulder to stop.
“Fucking hell,” Levi said as he sagged forward until his head rested atop Eren’s. He pulled off with an obscene pop looking smug as he laid his head on Levi’s thigh.
“You sound incredibly hot when you come,” Eren said. “I think I could get off just from sucking your cock, listening to you make those noises.”
Shivers raced across Levi’s skin. Something inside him preened at the thought that he could be so wanted. He felt raw in the aftermath of sex that intense. Exposed in a way that had nothing to do with his partial nudity.
“Next time, maybe,” Eren added, casually. Like there was no question there would be a next time.
And there wasn’t. There was no world where Levi would walk away from him. Maybe that made him a shitty person but he found he no longer gave a shit about that. The line had been absolutely obliterated when Levi came down Eren’s throat.
Levi carded his hand through Eren’s hair and let himself be ensnared. “Next time,” he agreed. “Sleep in my tent tonight.”
Eren sighed happily. “Okay,”
“Sleep in my tent every night.”
Eren grinned. “Levi, are you asking me to move in with you?”
“Not if you’re going to be clingy about it.”
Eren laughed, bright and beautiful as he surged up to kiss Levi’s jaw. “I am going to be so clingy about it, you don’t even know,” he promised.
“Brat,” Levi retorted, but in his chest that warm, aching feeling spread until he couldn’t breathe past it. He breathed it out into Eren’s mouth instead.