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1. Gi Hun can’t mind his own business.
Although he refused to show it, Sang Woo was scared.
He was being stalked on his way back home from school again by a couple kids in his class. They didn’t like how he seemed to know the answer to every question, and that he did all his homework, because they thought his diligence and thoughtfulness made them look dumb. Petty kid stuff. Sang Woo thought that ignoring them would work, and it did for a while.
But it wasn’t working lately, because one of the kids pushed him so hard, he landed on his palms, scraping them against the dirty pavement. He sucked in air, but didn’t make a sound, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of hearing him cry out.
Someone else made a sound, though.
Sang Woo heard the scream of rage rip through the air as, out of the periphery of Sang Woo’s vision, the new kid in Ssangmun-dong ran up behind the snickering bullies and punched the biggest one on the side of his head.
The new kid was immediately punched back by the second bully. He shouted as blood ran down his nose, and onto the same sidewalk Sang Woo was lying facedown on.
Sang Woo stayed nearly frozen on the ground, hand stinging, listening to the new kid exchange punches with the bullies for a few more rounds as he shouted obscenities at them, words that made Sang Woo’s ears burn.
Eventually, an adult came by and shouted at the kids, shooing the bullies away and threatening to tell their moms what they were doing. The man stopped, looking at the two kids left behind, shook his head, and walked off.
Sang Woo remained on the ground as he heard the new kid wipe his nose on his shirt. Sang Woo shut his eyes. Maybe if he ignored the new kid too, he would go away.
“Hey,” the new kid called down to him, “Are you all right?”
“I’m okay, thank you,” Sang Woo said, addressing the other boy politely even though his voice was terse and muffled by the asphalt. It smelled like cigarette ashes. He hated this town.
“You don’t look okay. Here,” the new kid said, and Sang Woo sighed, opening his eyes as he turned to look up.
He saw a hand outstretched toward him, and the new kid’s grinning face blocking out the sun. Blood still dripped down his chin.
He reached up, taking the kid’s hand, not really knowing why.
“I’m Seong Gi Hun,” the new kid said as he helped Sang Woo to his feet, and Sang Woo nodded, because he already knew his name. From the moment he arrived a few weeks ago with just his mom, he was all Sang Woo’s small school had talked about. But he didn’t want to know the new kid, so he thought of him just as that, ‘the new kid.’
“Cho Sang Woo,” he mumbled, bowing to his elder.
He just laughed and wiped his chin, but blood continued to drip down his nose. “Wow, so formal. Is that why they were pushing you around?”
Sang Woo shrugged. “They just like to play around.”
“But we aren’t on a playground.”
Since he didn’t have a response to that, Sang Woo dug into his handmade bag, fishing around for a handkerchief. He realized he didn’t have it, because his mom needed to wash it. Because of the last time he’d used it to wipe blood from his face. “You should clean up before you go home,” he said. “Your mom will get mad if she sees you bleeding all over the place, like mine would.”
“Yeah, good idea,” the older boy say, his face lighting up. “Can I go to your place?”
Sang Woo hesitated. He would have said no, but he felt it would’ve been rude to reject the older boy who had just rescued him. If he hadn’t jumped in, Sang Woo would’ve needed to find a hose to wash off his face.
“Okay,” he said, and the new kid broke out into a smile. It shone brighter than the sun, and Sang Woo didn’t know why he was thinking of such similarities.
After Sang Woo let him inside his apartment, telling him to wash the blood off his shirt as well, the new kid – Gi Hun – came out of the bathroom wearing his entire shirt, which was completely soaked in water.
“Thanks!” he said. “Now my mom won’t be able to tell I got in a fight. I think she’s selling food in the same area as your mom now.”
“Yeah, I know,” Sang Woo said, because his mom told him about Gi Hun’s mom, but then he remembered his manners. “Thank you for helping me, Gi Hun-ssi.”
Gi Hun wrinkled his nose. “Why are you so being so formal? You can call me Hyung.”
Sang Woo stared up at him. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.”
“Okay, Hyung.” He tested out the word, growing more comfortable with it. Sang Woo had rarely used it before. He occasionally played with a couple older kids before Gi Hun moved into the area, but Sang Woo kept to himself most of the time. He didn’t really speak to anyone regularly, other than his mom.
“I need to hang out here until my shirt dries,” Gi Hun said. “Do you have Legos or Gi Joe action figures we can play with while I wait?”
Sang Woo shook his head.
“Okay, do you have a TV?”
“Yes, but it’s broken.”
Gi Hun blinked at him. “What do you do for fun?”
“I read.” Sang Woo regretted saying it immediately, thinking his new friend would laugh at him.
Instead, Gi Hun brightened a bit. “Do you have manhwa?”
Sang Woo was about to say he preferred to read real books, but he remembered he had a random issue of Black Jack he had found discarded at the school’s field after school one day. No one had yelled at him when he took it, so he had kept it for himself.
When he let Gi Hun into his cramped bedroom and showed him the issue, Gi Hun said it looked interesting, noting how it looked like it had been read many times. Sang Woo didn’t tell him he found it, took five minutes to finish it, and nearly forgot about it right after.
Gi Hun took the manhwa, flopped onto Sang Woo’s yo without asking, and flipped to somewhere in the middle as he got comfortable, scooting around on his back to give Sang Woo room to sit.
Normally, Sang Woo would’ve snapped at anyone who parked on his yo, especially someone wearing a wet shirt. That was his space. He opened his mouth to tell Gi Hun to get off so he could move it, then closed his mouth, chewing on his lower lip.
He didn’t have many people coming over to even snap at on a regular basis. There had really only been a couple of his mom’s friend’s toddlers who crawled into his room, and one or two kids from his Kinder class whom he barely spoke to these days. Anyway, it was his fault Gi Hun was lying on his yo. Sang Woo had forgotten to fold and put it away that morning, so if he had been tidy instead of worrying about the bullies earlier, he wouldn’t be getting mad now about someone touching his stuff.
He also couldn’t explain why he didn’t want Gi Hun to leave, so he refrained from telling him to get off.
Instead, Sang Woo pulled one of the books that was two reading levels above his age, and sat on the edge so he wasn’t touching Gi Hun.
They read in comfortable silence for almost ten minutes, until Gi Hun got bored and tossed the manhwa aside, asking if Sang Woo had anything else to do while his shirt dried.
Sang Woo did have a small collection of marbles, so he played ‘odd and even’ with his new hyung, and Sang Woo just started to get annoyed at Gi Hun guessing correctly each time and nearly winning all his marbles, when he heard his mom arrived home.
“I should go,” Gi Hun said, shaking out his damp shirt as he stood up. “Thanks for letting me stay over.”
“Okay,” Sang Woo said, then asked before he could stop himself, “Do you want to come over again tomorrow?”
“Oh, I can’t,” Gi Hun said.
Sang Woo must have made a face then, because Gi Hun quickly added, “But you should join me and my friends after school tomorrow! We’re going to play outside. I think you’ll have fun with us.”
Sang Woo hesitated, preferring if it were just the two of them playing.
But when he noticed Gi Hun looking at him with such a hopeful expression, he said, “Okay.”
“Great, see you tomorrow! And we should walk to together. I’ll come over in the morning to pick you up. See you!” Gi Hun raced out of Sang Woo’s apartment, pausing just long enough to bow to his mom.
“Goodness,” she said, smiling as she watched Gi Hun take off like a whirlwind out the door, letting it slam shut behind him. “He’s very energetic, isn’t he?”
“Yes, he is,” Sang Woo said, and his mom studied his face for a moment.
“That’s the first time I think you’ve had someone over,” she said. “Good for you! Studying is important, but so is making friends.”
“I know, Mom,” he said, and she drew him in for a hug.
“Look at my special boy, bringing people over and going outside to play,” she said warmly. “I think that Gi Hun and his mom moving here is the best thing that’s happened for us in a long time.”
Sang Woo didn’t say anything, but he hugged her back, secretly agreeing.
2. Gi Hun is attention hungry.
Sang Woo was normally patient as he could be with Gi Hun, but his patience ran dry when they played games against each other. He wanted to beat Gi Hun, but he never could. After Gi Hun celebrated winning though, he would always help up Sang Woo.
The first few times, Sang Woo stayed on the ground for a moment, like he had when they first met, pouting as he refused to take Gi Hun’s hand. Eventually, like when they first met, he swallowed his pride and took Gi Hun’s hand, letting him pull him up.
Even when Gi Hun moved onto high school and Sang Woo was a grade behind, he still saw Gi Hun a lot since their moms had become closer. One day, when Gi Hun and his mom came over for dinner, Sang Woo realized that Gi Hun was blurrier than he used to be. He hadn’t realized it at school because he held his books up close to his face and barely paid attention to any of his classmates, but not being able to see Gi Hun as clearly as he used to made Sang Woo panic. So he begged his mom to buy glasses for him. They were cheap and slid down his nose, but he didn’t care.
“You look so cute with glasses, Sang Woo-ya!” Gi Hun had said, ruffling his hair when Sang Woo wore them for the first time around him. Sang Woo didn’t like that much. As he got older, he preferred it when Gi Hun threw an arm around his shoulder, or when they held hands now and then as they walked to school. When Sang Woo first started high school, he noticed that both of his palms felt warmer than usual when he held his hyung’s hand.
Sang Woo couldn’t understand why, and since he could understand most things, that irritated him immensely.
As they got older, they left the Squid Game and other kids’ games behind, and took to playing soccer with their friends – well, more like Gi Hun’s friends. He was better at soccer than Sang Woo because he was more agile, but his competitive spirit seemed to wane recently. He kept looking over his shoulder at the girls walking by.
Sang Woo ran up to Gi Hun one day while they were playing some casual soccer after class, and Gi Hun did a fancy move with his feet, juggling the ball and shouting to the girls, “Wanna join us?”
Without warning, red swam into Sang Woo’s vision, and before he could stop himself, he kicked the ball hard, accidentally tripping Gi Hun.
Gi Hun instinctively grabbed Sang Woo’s shirt to regain his balance, but Sang Woo didn’t want his shirt getting ripped. So they both ended up toppling to the ground, tangled in limbs.
Sang Woo landed on top of Gi Hun as he swore, Sang Woo’s glasses getting knocked aside by his flailing hands, and the group of girls laughed while they walked away.
“What the hell? What was that for?” Gi Hun shouted, hitting his shoulder.
“Sorry, Hyung,” Sang Woo said, his face so close to Gi Hun as his friends called them both idiots from the other side of the field. Sang Woo didn’t even need his glasses to see Gi Hun clearly at this angle.
For a moment, he wondered what it would feel like if he leaned down and kissed him.
What?
His face instantly grew hot, and his stomach felt strange. He had only been on an elevator a few times, when his class had gone on field trips to Seoul and he was packed with other kids in the small box. Sang Woo quickly forgot feeling stifled as they went up. He imagined he would be riding in one of these every day to get to his high paying job on the top floor.
Thinking about kissing Gi Hun felt like going up in the elevator – new and exciting.
“Just get off, okay?” Gi Hun snapped, rolling to the side as Sang Woo slowly reached for his thankfully intact glasses, a bit dazed.
He was quiet for the rest of the game. Gi Hun forgot about Sang Woo knocking him down by the time they all left the field, laughing and tugging him by the hand to go to the store so they could get ice cream. “We’ll share one, okay?” he whispered conspiratorially. “I swiped just enough from my mom this morning to get us a popsicle.”
Sang Woo knew that was wrong, but he was still so caught up by his thoughts about kissing Gi Hun, that he didn’t argue. He just let Gi Hun lead him by the hand to the store.
They sat on the store’s steps a few minutes later, Gi Hun licking the popsicle as Sang Woo averted his gaze.
“What’s up with you? You’re quieter than usual, and you’re pretty quiet.” Gi Hun said, holding out the popsicle toward him.
“Don’t you think it’s like we’re kissing if we both eat this?” Sang Woo blurted out before he could stop himself. He regretted saying it right after.
Gi Hun shook his head. “What? No, we’ve always shared food. You’re being weird today.”
Sang Woo blinked, then cleaned his glasses and put them back on, seeing that Gi Hun was still holding out the popsicle. He sighed.
“I just feel bad for tripping you earlier,” he said while taking the popsicle, searching for an excuse. “I only meant to win the game, but I kicked too hard. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Gi Hun’s mouth split open into a wide smile, his teeth stained pink. “That’s okay. I was just embarrassed because those girls were watching. Next time let’s invite them to play with us, okay?”
Sang Woo didn’t like that idea one bit. But he couldn’t deny the hopeful look on Gi Hun’s face, not after causing him to fall.
“All right,” he said reluctantly, and Gi Hun hugged him.
Sang Woo could find a logical explanation for everything that happened in the world.
Everything except for the reason his cheeks felt hot, and his stomach felt like it was dropping when Gi Hun touched him.
3. Gi hun is lazy.
“I hate homework so much,” Gi Hun moaned as he laid his head down onto his workbook. He was lying on his front on Sang Woo’s yo as Sang Woo sat with his back leaning against Gi Hun’s side, using him as a pillow.
“I know. But you need to do it if you want to get good grades,” Sang Woo said, finishing the last of his math problems.
“Come on, Sang Woo-ah, can’t you just do it for me? You’re already done, and it’ll be so easy for you,” Gi Hun begged.
“But then you won’t learn,” Sang Woo said, tucking his workbook into his handmade school bag. It needed a wash, but Sang Woo feared that would break the thin fabric, so he had asked Gi Hun for an incense stick to put in the bag. Whenever he opened it, he would be reminded of Gi Hun, breathing in the rich sandalwood scent.
“I’ll learn! I’ll remember it forever if you tell me the answer, please!” Gi Hun twisted out from under Sang Woo, shoving his reading comprehension book onto his lap as he sat up beside him. “This last question is killing me, I don’t understand symbolism and that kinda junk. Just help me with this one?”
Sang Woo sighed. He flipped the reading book around so he could skim the passage, and Gi Hun sat quietly beside him, their knees touching as Sang Woo tried to ignore Gi Hun’s soft breathing against his shoulder. Sang Woo made sure to cover his lap with the workbook, flipping the page back and forth while he studied the question Gi Hun was stuck on.
“Why do you think the woman takes the man’s hand and holds it?” he asked, pointing at the marked paragraph.
Gi Hun blew out a long breath in exasperation, making his curled bangs fly up. “I don’t know, because she likes him and wants to marry him?”
“Yes, she does, I can see you wrote that answer here,” Sang Woo stopped himself before pointing out that Gi Hun’s scrawl was barely legible. “But think about why she holds his hand.”
“I don’t know, maybe because she’s weird!” Gi Hun said, rocking back and forth. “Girls are so weird, you know? There was this one girl I took to the park the other night on a date, and she —”
“— Please focus on the reading, Hyung,” Sang Woo said, his tone a bit sharper than he intended. He drew in a steadying breath and pointed to the second paragraph. “What did he do here?”
Gi Hun shrugged. “He married the woman’s sister. But he didn’t know she loved him too!”
“That’s true, but what did he realize here?”
Gi Hun stopped rocking and leaned over to re-read the paragraph Sang Woo pointed at. He tried to will the hairs of his arm to not stand up when Gi Hun brushed against them. He tried to make his heart stop racing.
“He saw that the flowers that were being left at his door were mugunghwa,” Gi Hun said slowly, “and that... he realized she was wearing the same flowers in her hair at his wedding. I thought that meant she was crazy.”
“So did he. So why did she hold his hand?”
“Because...” Gi Hun reached over and flipped the page back and forth, then slapped his finger down on the final paragraph. “Because she forgave him for thinking her sister left him the flowers, when she left them instead! Hah!”
“Good,” Sang Woo said, shifting his bag onto his lap as he handed Gi Hun his book back. “I knew you could figure it out.”
“Thanks! And Sang Woo-ya,” Gi Hun said, suddenly taking Sang Woo’s hand in his. His face flushed at the sudden movement, his heart hammering in his chest as they sat side by side, so close he could count Gi Hun’s eyelashes. “I forgive you.”
“For what?” Sang Woo asked, nearly choking out the words as he let Gi Hun hold his hand.
“For not telling me the answer! That would’ve saved me so much time, you know?” Gi Hun roared with laughter as he rolled flat on his back, kicking his legs as Sang Woo yanked his hand out of Gi Hun’s.
“I don’t understand why you didn’t just read it again,” Sang Woo muttered. “You could’ve figured it out yourself.”
“Yeah,” Gi Hun said, lowering his legs as he propped himself up with his elbows, “But it’s not as fun doing this without you.”
Sang Woo busied himself with rearranging his books in his bag, not wanting Gi Hun to see how flushed his cheeks were or why he was keeping his bag over his lap.
4. Gi Hun is careless.
“Fuck!”
Sang Woo turned, looking at Gi Hun. “What?”
He lowered his backpack right in the middle of the crowded sidewalk, starting to look through it. He took out his wallet, books, and a small stuffed pink dog. Sang Woo’s jaw clenched when he saw the stuffed animal. Hyun Jung had given Gi Hun that stuffed dog from one of the crane games months ago and Gi Hun insisted on carrying it around ever since, even though it had been weeks since they’d last gone out.
“I can’t find it! I remember putting it in here, but it’s gone!”
“Are you serious?” Sang Woo side-stepped the other pedestrians on the sidewalk and grabbed Gi Hun’s arm, hoisting him up. “This isn’t Ssangmun-dong, remember?”
“Shit, I can’t believe I lost it,” Gi Hun said, closing his bag and looking at Sang Woo with watery eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
Sang Woo took a few deep breaths to try calming himself.
His mom had a good week at the shop, so she gave Sang Woo 20,000 won that morning and told him to take a break from studying on his free day. Sang Woo immediately told Gi Hun, and they planned to spend the day in Seoul. Sang Woo still had change left over from the bus fare, but he’d given Gi Hun the remaining 15,000 won to hold onto, since his bag was still functional. Sang Woo had debated just buying a new bag, but he preferred to spend the day with Gi Hun.
Gi Hun wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand. “I swear I put the money in my bag! It must’ve fallen out when we got off the bus.”
“It probably fell out onto the bus when you jumped over the steps, because you wanted to show off to the girls sitting in the front,” Sang Woo said stiffly.
“I wasn’t trying to show off!” Gi Hun protested, scratching the back of his head. “Maybe you should’ve just put the money in your pocket, since it’s yours.”
Sang Woo tried to keep breathing deeply and control his anger, but Gi Hun’s blatant lying was so irritating, he couldn’t let it go. “Yes you were showing off for the girls on the bus! You’re not spending the day with them, right? You’re spending it with me. And it’s our money. I thought it would be safer in your bag because I trusted you to hold onto it.”
Gi Hun’s expression shifted from apologetic to indignant. “Well, maybe those girls would’ve gotten off the bus with us if you weren’t so cold to them. Sometimes I think you don’t even want a girlfriend.”
Sang Woo’s eye started twitching. “I don’t, and you know why? Because I don’t want to throw my money away on some random girl I barely know. But I guess I did anyway, because you just lost our money for the day! All to impress a couple of strangers.”
“I didn’t think it would just fall out of my bag like that!” Gi Hun shouted.
“Sometimes you don’t think at all, Gi Hun Hyung!” Sang Woo snapped. “Why don’t you stop being so careless!”
“Excuse me?”
Sang Woo was too busy glaring at Gi Hun, blood boiling in his veins, to notice who was speaking to them. He and Gi Hun stood on the sidewalk next to the bus stop glaring at each other, face centimeters apart, until Gi Hun finally turned to look at the person interrupting their ‘discussion.’
“Yes?” Gi Hun asked. Sang Woo couldn’t help but privately revel in winning their staring contest. Gi Hun looked away first, therefore Sang Woo won. Finally.
He then noticed the person who interrupted them. She was an old woman holding up a picture toward Gi Hun, of a teenage girl who Sang Woo could objectively tell was beautiful, but wasn’t interested in inspecting the picture closer, unlike Gi Hun. Sang Woo wanted to smack the back of Gi Hun’s head as he leaned in, looking at the picture too long as the old woman asked if they could help her meet her granddaughter. The old woman was lost, and needed to find the subway station, where her granddaughter had asked her to meet.
It would be a huge waste of time. Sang Woo wanted to use the rest of his change to catch the next bus back to Ssangmun-dong and spend the rest of the day sulking.
Gi Hun, however, looked at Sang Woo, his previous indignant anger gone. “Let’s help her, Sang Woo-ya,” he said. “At least we would do something good while we’re in the city.”
“I don’t know,” he muttered.
“Come on, I have a couple thousand won left. After we help this nice ajumma, we’ll split ice cream before going back, okay?”
Sang Woo was about to tell Gi Hun he was going to catch the next bus with or without him, when he noticed the old woman wandering off and Gi Hun shouted, “Please wait!” He grabbed Sang Woo by the hand and dragged him off after the woman before she could find someone else to help her find her granddaughter.
Sang Woo cursed under his breath, but he didn’t break free from Gi Hun’s grasp. He let Gi Hun lead him by the hand down the bustling sidewalk, feeling lightheaded as they dodged other pedestrians, reaching the old woman as Gi Hun said they would help her.
It turned out that the granddaughter wanted to meet at a subway station that was a few stops away from where they were, so Gi Hun used his ice cream money to pay for their tickets. Fortunately, the old woman’s ticket was cheaper than theirs, but Sang Woo kicked himself for accompanying them. All of this for Gi Hun to meet a potential new girlfriend. The lightheaded feeling Sang Woo experienced when Gi Hun took his hand was gone, replaced by a simmering resentment toward the girl in the picture.
When they got in the subway car, the old woman entered first, and Sang Woo wondered why she was standing, when he saw that there was a teenager about a year younger than him sitting in the seat that was reserved for the elderly and infirm.
Momentarily forgetting his jealousy toward the girl in the picture, Sang Woo pushed his way through the people in the subway car, then stopped right in front of the kid.
He was listening to his Walkman, moving his head to the music. Sang Woo snapped his fingers right in front of the kid, making him look up.
“What?” the kid asked, not even bothering to lower his headphones.
“Get up,” Sang Woo said, gesturing toward the old woman. “Can’t you see she needs to sit? What’s wrong with you?”
The kid glanced up at the old woman, then back up at Sang Woo.
“I said, get up,” Sang Woo repeated, narrowing his eyes at the kid. “Don’t make me say it again.”
The kid sighed loudly, getting up out of the seat and shoving past Sang Woo. He wanted to throw a punch at the brat, but Sang Woo figured he would’ve accidentally ended up hitting someone else. So he let the kid go.
“Please sit,” he said to the old woman, gesturing at the now empty seat.
“Thank you,” she said, smiling as she settled down, “At least some of you younger people still have manners.”
Sang Woo held onto the handle overhead, glancing at Gi Hun. He was looking at Sang Woo with so much pride plastered on his face, Sang Woo had to look away.
When they exited the station, Sang Woo recognized the girl in the photograph instantly. He walked up to her, asking if she was looking for her grandmother. She nodded, then cried out when she saw her grandmother arrive, clutching Gi Hun’s arm as he walked her over.
The girl bowed first to her grandmother, and then to Sang Woo and Gi Hun.
“Thank you so much!” she said, and the old woman turned to look at Sang Woo.
“You’re both good boys,” she said, opening her purse. “Take this as my thanks, and don’t spend it all at once.”
Sang Woo bowed to her deeply as he accepted the folded bills with both hands. Gi Hun just stood beside him, speechless. The old woman waved to them as she left with her daughter, and Gi Hun whirled around to face Sang Woo.
“That was amazing!” he said, grinning gleefully as he patted Sang Woo’s arm. “I think she gave us that because of you!”
Sang Woo sighed. “Yeah, but you were the one who wanted to help her. That was a good idea, Hyung. I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
Gi Hun waved dismissively. “It’s okay. So, how much did she give you?”
“You mean how much did she give us. And did you forget something? I thought you made us come all the way over here to ask out her granddaughter.”
“Well, uh, it would be too awkward to ask her out in front of everyone,” Gi Hun said, scratching the back of his head. “So, how much is it?”
Sang Woo turned his back on the crowd bustling out of the subway entrance and, with Gi Hun, they counted the bills.
She’d given them 50,000 won.
“She has to be a millionaire, or something,” Gi Hun said faintly, and Sang Woo, who was similarly stunned, nodded. “You know what we should do with this?”
“Open a bank account so we can save it?”
Gi Hun shoved him playfully. “You’re so funny, Sang Woo-ya!”
“I wasn’t joking.”
“We can get a lot more than ice cream with this,” Gi Hun said, his eyes getting wider. “A lot more.”
“Oh no,” Sang Woo said.
Thirty minutes later, Gi Hun was screaming at a claw machine, about to try smashing its windows until Sang Woo stopped him.
“Let me try it,” he said. “Come on, you promised you’d only give it twenty tries and you did.”
Gi Hun stormed away from the machine, pacing up and down the alleyway and asking the little kids what they were staring at.
Sang Woo aimed for the small green stuffed cat in the corner of the prize pile. The claw missed the cat by centimeters, and Sang Woo swore quietly, tightening his grip on the joystick.
He had to win the cat, and give it to Gi Hun. He just had to.
When Gi Hun came back with some street vendor food, Sang Woo was the one yelling at the claw game this time, kicking the metallic base and then shouting again in pain. He doubled over, wincing as he put his hands on his knees and tried to calm himself down.
“Did you use up your twenty tries too?” Gi Hun asked solemnly.
Panting, Sang Woo glared up at him. Gi Hun just smiled and held out the odeng on a stick.
“It’s not ice cream, but it’s still pretty good.”
Sang Woo counted the leftover money with reverence in the small restaurant they ended up going to after accepting their defeat. The other side of the table was set up against a wall, so Sang Woo had to sit next to Gi Hun instead of across from him. While Gi Hun leaned over to count the money with Sang Woo, draining the last of his water cup, Sang Woo tried to ignore the fact that Gi Hun’s shoulder rubbing against his made his hands sweat a little.
“We should save the rest,” Sang Woo said, pocketing the last two bills and giving the leftover 10,000 won to Gi Hun. “This one’s for lunch.”
“It’s way past lunchtime, but okay,” Gi Hun took the bill, and looked at Sang Woo. “Are you sure you trust me with this?” he asked, holding it by the edges and stretching it out flat in the air.
Sang Woo nodded. He didn’t tell Gi Hun that was because they were already in the store and there was no way for Gi Hun to lose it. But it didn’t matter, because Gi Hun grinned and clapped him on the back, then rubbed his own neck.
“What a day, huh? I’m glad we ended up staying.”
Sang Woo took a swig from his own water cup, then set it down. “Yes, but I guess we shouldn’t have wasted our time playing that dumb claw game.”
“Who were you trying to win that green cat for, anyway?”
Sang Woo’s grip tightened around his cup. “My mom,” he lied.
“Well, it’s okay you didn’t win it, then, right? Because she’ll never know you were trying to win it for her. You were going at that machine pretty hard, you know? I think you were going to break it even more than I was going to.”
“Yeah, you’re right, Hyung.”
“Of course I am!” Gi Hun said with a laugh, and then their food arrived. He dug into his omurice while Sang Woo stared down at his donkatsu.
“Oh, it’s so hot, but delicious!” Gi Hun said through a mouthful of rice, then glanced at Sang Woo. “Come on, eat up!”
Sang Woo kept looking down at his plate. “I didn’t mean what I said before. About you not thinking of anything. It’s not that you don’t care about anything. It’s that you care more about people than things.”
Gi Hun swallowed his rice. “Well… thanks. I guess I do need to pay more attention to my belongings, especially if you give them to me to watch over. I will guard this with my life, okay?” He smoothed out the bill Sang Woo had given him to pay for their meal, but then he ended up flicking some rice on it and panicked, brushing off the rice.
To his surprise, Sang Woo started to laugh.
“Wow, wait!” Gi Hun said, digging in his bag. “This is a special occasion. I have to take a picture to preserve it!”
“What, you mean us actually saving some of our money for once?” Sang Woo asked, picking up his chopsticks.
“No, I mean you being happy,” Gi Hun said, and pulled out a disposable camera.
Sang Woo started to ask where Gi Hun got it, but he was already saying, “Smile!” and clicking the button as he held it backwards so he could take a picture of him and Sang Woo.
When Gi Hun got the picture developed and gave it to him later, Sang Woo wanted to throw it away, because of how embarrassing it was.
He ended up keeping it.
5. Gi hun is too loud.
“Come on, Sang Woo-ya, sing with me!” Gi Hun shouted, throwing his arms out wide as he stumbled down the street toward Sang Woo’s apartment. “It’s your last night before you go to SNU, you have to live a little!”
“Keep it down; you’re going to wake up the whole neighborhood!” Sang Woo said, trying to catch up to Gi Hun, but his own legs were betraying him as he was walking in a zig-zag pattern. The soju had hit him a lot harder than he thought, and he was afraid he was going to pass out right in front of his home for his mother to find him the next morning.
“You know why I’m going to miss having you around?” Gi Hun asked, turning around. “Because we won’t have nights like this anymore!” He began to walk backwards, belting out another song.
Bad idea, Sang Woo thought suddenly, and doubled his efforts to reach Gi Hun without tripping on the sidewalk.
Gi Hun had always been a loudmouth, which embarrassed Sang Woo, but tonight he was particularly noisy. He’d been singing Sang Woo’s praises all night, and Sang Woo partly hated it because he hadn’t even started at SNU yet. But another, secretive part of him loved it. Love Gi Hun talking about him like he was the smartest person in the world. He’d been wanting to leave Ssangmun-dong for years, and after having finally found his mode of escape, he was experiencing continuous waves of relief washing over him that was indescribable.
But, at the same time, he didn’t want to leave Gi Hun. And so Sang Woo had drank with him on his last night home, letting Gi Hun hug Sang Woo as they’d gotten increasingly drunker throughout the night, making Sang Woo promise he wouldn’t forget about him when he became a SNU graduate.
I could never forget you¸ he thinks, watching Gi Hun start to skip backward.
And Sang Woo saw, almost as if in slow motion, Gi Hun trip over his own foot and fall backwards.
“Gi Hun Hyung!” he shouted, finally catching up to him as Gi Hun barely managed to break his fall with his hands. He howled in pain as Sang Woo reached him, panting and panic flooding into his bloodstream. “Are you all right?”
“Ow, my hand,” Gi Hun said, and Sang Woo’s vision swam a little when he looked down at Gi Hun. Even with his glasses on, he was starting to see two Gi Huns. One was already enough for him.
“Here,” Sang Woo said, holding out his hand toward Gi Hun, and Gi Hun stared up at him.
“Hey,” Gi Hun said hoarsely, his head swaying, “You came to help me.”
“Of course I did,” Sang Woo said, shaking his head in exasperation. “Come on, you can wash the blood off at my place.”
“Really?” Gi Hun asked, looking at his scraped and bloody hand. Sang Woo winced when he saw double of it. “Can I sleep over too? Like old times? Don’t want my mom to see me drunk.”
Sang Woo hesitated.
Then he said, “Yes.”
Gi Hun grinned, and reached up to grab his hand with the one that wasn’t scratched and red.
And if anyone asked Sang Woo whether he held onto Gi Hun’s hand until they made it back to his place, interlocking their fingers so Gi Hun couldn’t fall again, Sang Woo wouldn’t say anything.
1. Gi Hun is not in love with Sang Woo.
Sang Woo knew that Gi Hun only ever saw him as a brother. Nothing less, nothing more. Sang Woo knew that whenever Gi Hun looked at him with affection, it was only because Gi Hun cared about him the way a family member would. Sang Woo understood that Gi Hun would never imagine kissing him like he imagined kissing Gi Hun. Sang Woo knew that Gi Hun would never take him out on dates, like he did with a new woman every other month. Sang Woo knew, with a heavy feeling in his heart, that one day, Gi Hun would marry one of the women he dated, and Sang Woo would have to play the supportive best man. Because it’s what Gi Hun would have done for him.
As soon as Sang Woo had told Gi Hun he bought his own apartment in Seoul, he knew that despite Gi Hun’s congratulatory grin, Gi Hun would never yearn to live with Sang Woo. Gi Hun would never dream the way that Sang Woo did, of waking up next to him in the same bed every day, as they would greet each other with a warm smile and a kiss.
Sang Woo knew all of that, because he knew all of the other facts that made up who Gi Hun was.
So when Gi Hun offered to help Sang Woo move into his new apartment, he knew it was because of how kind Gi Hun was, how much he cared about people in general. Sang Woo was not that special to Gi Hun.
“Thanks for helping, Hyung, we’re all done unloading the —”
Sang Woo’s words caught in his throat as he entered the space that he had chosen for his new bedroom.
He stood in the doorway, frozen in place as he looked at Gi Hun. He was sitting on Sang Woo’s new bed, his back turned to him, bent over as he studied something in his hands.
“Sang Woo-ya,” Gi Hun said after a minute of silence ticked by. “What is all of this?”
Sang Woo felt lightheaded as he entered the room. It was so different from the room he had as a child. It was spacious, the floors were heated, and there was a king-sized bed instead of a well-worn yo taking up most of the floorspace. There was a walk-in closet, two bookshelves, a bathroom, and a large window facing Gi Hun through which the bright lights of Seoul sparkled. Sang Woo wanted an apartment near the top floor so he could ride the elevator up for a while, and admire the city below from his bedroom.
Next to Gi Hun, on the bed, there was a wooden box of items that Sang Woo had never planned for him to see. Among the items in the box, there were seemingly random, innocuous looking things: a pen from Lotte World, beer coasters from a bar in Seoul, a few receipts from Ssangyong Motor, two marbles, a couple ticket stubs to a concert, a rubber band ball. A battered issue of Black Jack.
There was also the picture from the restaurant in Seoul that Gi Hun had taken of them. In it, Gi Hun was grinning widely at the camera. Sang Woo, however, was looking at Gi Hun with the trace of a smile.
And the last item that should’ve been in the box, but Gi Hun was holding:
A stuffed green cat.
“I slipped and dropped the box while I was trying to find a place to put it,” Gi Hun said, his voice thick in his throat. “It just opened up on its own. I’m sorry.”
Sang Woo couldn’t know if Gi Hun was lying to him or not, because he had lost the key to the box long ago, so he couldn’t lock it shut.
But it didn’t matter. He felt like he was drifting across the room, until he stood next to Gi Hun, looking down at his hands as he moved the cat around. Sang Woo couldn’t quite bring himself to look Gi Hun in the eyes.
“I didn’t know,” Gi Hun said. “All this time, and I didn’t know.”
“That’s because I didn’t want you to know,” was all Sang Woo could think to say.
“Why not?” Gi Hun asked, looking up at Sang Woo, his eyes watery, nose red. Visually, he was the polar opposite of the man standing next to him. Sang Woo’s hair looked brushed despite moving around all day, he had a fancy watch on his wrist, and he was wearing a dark long-sleeved shirt, along with black pants to cover up his sweat. Gi Hun’s hair was a mess, and he was just wearing a ratty stained t-shirt and jeans covered with faded paint marks.
He was still the most beautiful person Sang Woo had ever seen.
“Because I know you,” Sang Woo said softly. “I know that you would never think of me the same way.”
He might as well get it out at this point, even though the corners of his eyes were stinging. There was no way Gi Hun would remain his friend after this. He knew that Gi Hun was kind, and caring, but there were only so many limits a person could have. He wouldn’t blame Gi Hun one bit for being offended, or angry. Sang Woo blinked back his tears. He could cry later, after Gi Hun walked out of his life for good.
All because Sang Woo was so stubbornly sentimental - and, he realized, just as careless with his belongings as Gi Hun was sometimes with his money.
“You do know a lot of things,” Gi Hun acknowledged, his voice barely louder than a whisper as he clutched the stuffed animal that Sang Woo had gone back and won for him, only to keep it hidden away for years. “But there’s one thing about me you didn’t really know.”
Sang Woo’s breath caught in his throat. His new bedroom spun around him, the cream-colored walls turning into a blur.
“Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?” he asked. It almost came out harsh as he pushed up his glasses. “Because I don’t think it’s very funny, Hyung. I —”
Gi Hun took him by the hand, pulling him down toward him as Sang Woo broke off mid-sentence.
As always, he followed Gi Hun when he led him by the hand.
When Gi Hun kissed him on his brand new bed, Sang Woo was transported back to the past. His eyes closed, and he felt it again:
The feeling of rising up, getting closer to the sun without being burned by it.
Gi Hun’s lips were chapped and tasted salty, since he had been sweating all day, helping Sang Woo lug around his boxes. They both needed a shower, even though Sang Woo still looked as put together as he did that morning. They were older than they were when they played on the field after school; they weren’t nearly as flexible. Sang Woo was aching all over.
He kissed Gi Hun back with fervor.
When they separated and Sang Woo opened his eyes, he could barely see Gi Hun through the fog of his glasses.
Gi Hun took his glasses off slowly, gently, and laid them on his bedside table along with the stuffed cat.
“I’m so sorry,” Sang Woo said, his words thick and heavy as Gi Hun looked back at him, “I would have told you, but I was scared.”
Gi Hun placed his hand back in Sang Woo’s. “You shouldn’t be scared when you’re with me. I’m here to protect you, remember?”
Sang Woo’s heart, which normally quickened whenever they sat so close like this, felt like it skipped a beat.
And when Gi Hun smiled at him, Sang Woo felt his heart beating again.
“I could have saved us so much time,” he said, not even bothering to wipe his tears away when they fell, and Gi Hun squeezed his hand.
“I could have, too,” he said, and leaned forward to kiss Sang Woo again.
They were still holding hands when the next day’s rays of sunlight shone in through the window.