Keepaway!!

by Twilightprince101

Summary:

After an abrupt and messy departure Stella is becoming more closed off. So to try and return her kindness, the various spirits try to bring her out of isolation!

Notes:

In honor of the Farewell Edition of Spiritfarer FINALLY releasing (and me breaking my Spiritfarer Spoilers Abstinence rule) I decided to finally continue with this fic! I've had this idea for a while, but kinda lost wind of it after a bit. Here's hoping this'll help motivate me while I'm on break!

This takes place in a bit of an AU, where Stella doesn't need spirit flowers in order to get ship upgrades. That's why Gwen is still around despite not being able to have her interact with others. I really wanna do more with these bc the spirits interacting is a really cute idea that I'm glad they (kinda) implemented in the updates!

Until then, enjoy!! (\^o^/)

Chapter 1: Another Morning

Gwen nestles herself deeper into her reading chair for the third time in the hour, staring at intricate lines of text of her latest novel. The lamp hanging over her shoulder clearly illuminated the page along with the bits of sunlight peeking through the blinds, but it didn’t make it any easier to read. It was the one Summer, Stella and Alice had recommended to her during one of their breakfast talks, something about a Sweedish prince of something or other. While normally a drama like this would be up her alley, she once again finds herself re-reading the same exact line and the same exact words. If she were keeping a tally then her entire coffee table would likely be whittled down to a toothpick.

“‘Oh my darling Emelia, ” Gwen reads out loud with hand flourishes, doing what she can to get through the passage, “even though you may have rejected my proposal, the burning passion in my chest flickers ever still! So no matter if you feel the same or not, I will defend you to my dying brea- ’ oh forget it.”

The deer snaps the book shut and sighs, dragging a hand down her face and pinching the bridge of her nose-er, snout (the fact she even has a snout like this is still disorienting for her, despite being in this form for months). It’s not that the book was bad--she very much enjoyed the first hundred pages! The intensity of the forbidden romance between prince and peasant, the two going against everything they’ve known for love. It’s a sappy trope that she loved to eat up, a true classic! She can understand why her fellow spirits insisted so much on reading it (even Stella, who basically started an entire book club just to give her a copy). 

But ever since two days ago, all the motivation she had for the book just… fizzled out. She really would’ve liked to continue, to see this forbidden love to whatever tragic end Alice implied there would be, but she just, can’t anymore. It just doesn’t feel right to.

Gwen sets the book aside and picks up her cigarette, taking a loooong drag and exhaling it all towards the ceiling like the foundry smokestack outside her window. After doing it for so long she can hardly feel the effects that she experienced the first time, but old habits die hard, even in death.

‘Funny.’ Gwen thinks to herself. ‘Even after confirming spirits can get sick and seeing what can happen firsthand, I can’t bring myself to stop.’

A firm knock on the door interrupts her musings and second inhale, forcing her to puff the smoke out with a quick snort. From the intense yet brief nature of it she assumed Astrid was at the door. During her time on this ferry of the dead she learned all the different passengers have their own way of letting their presences be heard: from Atul’s quick and firm knocks requesting the deer’s permission to fix up her cottage, to Stanley’s eager and rapid raps politely asking if she could come out to play. Although she’s grown accustomed to (most) of their presences, out of an old living-world habit though she uses her cig holder to poke through the blinds, hoping to prepare herself for what exactly to say to the kindly lynx.

But instead of seeing the puffy mocha coat and pink floral fan, her eyes catch a glimpse of a large, dark green shadow dominating her view.

“Stella… ”

After staring long enough to feel like she’s peeping, Gwen pulls the holder back and smothers the cig in her ashtray, walking over to the door. Even not directly seeing her, the deer could feel the Spiritfarer’s presence through the polished wood. Pausing with her hand on the doorknob, her mind runs through what exactly she should expect, then what to say in response to those expectations, then doubling back and questioning if she should say anything at all. 

‘Should… should I comfort her?’ The deer tries her best to quickly run the numbers. ‘I mean, she obviously would appreciate it, it was so sudden, anyone would be upset. Everyone was upset. But this… this is her job now. Even if it was sudden, this is only the start… What do you even say in a situation like this? ’

Another knock kicks the preparations out of Gwen’s head. Despite being slightly quieter it echoes through her cottage, somehow harder than her uncle. A storm of various “what if’s” run through her head buzzing like a bee’s nest. But not wanting to keep her friend waiting, the spirit slaps the swarm out of her head and brings her hand down to the knob, twisting and opening the door as naturally as she can as the beams of light flood in.

Gwen has to squint slightly from the midday sun since she was sitting in her cottage all morning with the blinds closed but she can still make out her figure and her three-foot wide sun hat clearly. With their respective heights it sometimes felt like she would be talking to the hat more than her, and today it’s especially so with the brim being more tipped down, obscuring the view of her face. When the click was heard Stella’s form straightened up from it’s more hunched down state, raising the bob on top to the deer’s eye level.

“Hey! Gwen. Good morning.” Stella does her best to sound cheerful, despite not looking the deer in the eyes.

“Hey, Stella. You too.” Gwen does her best to reply, that bland sentence being the only thing she can come up with.

The two friends stand together on opposite sides of the doorway, searching for any topics that could move the two past initial greetings. The crashing waves below the deck didn’t help that search either--the once calming white-noise only a testament to the current silence. 

“So, uh…” Gwen stammers. “How, are you doing?”

“Good,” Stella chokes, then clears her throat. “Good.”

‘Idiot!’ The deer internally hits herself at saying the obvious, pedestrian response. ‘She’s probably heard that six times by now!’

Once again the two stand with their mouths sealed shut. Gwen wonders if she wants to say something as well as she grips a part of the frame and leans out to peek down the boat. Perhaps a part of her was hoping somebody else would be there to liven up this exchange, but unfortunately there wasn’t. Surprisingly she actually didn’t seem to catch glimpses of anyone, even the next door Gustav and the (unfortunately) ever-present Giovanni. Straining her eyes towards the back, the sofa on top of Astrid’s cottage was empty, all that was left was his imprint.

‘Is… everyone like this right now?’

“Um, Gwen?” Stella’s quiet tug of attention pulled Gwen out of her ponderings, queuing up another smack for herself when this conversation ended. Stella had her Everlight in hand, fingers swiping across its surface and searching through its bottomless storage (how Stella manages to work that thing is beyond her). Plucking a drop of light from its surface she placed the orb back on her belt, letting the droplet expand and take form on her free hand. Even mid-way through its taking shape Gwen could tell what it was.

“I know you had some yesterday, but I… thought you might want some more. If you want it, I mean.”

As the glow slowly faded Stella held out her hands to the deer, presenting the steaming cappuccino like a servant bringing something of great importance to her master. Gwen could feel the heat just reaching to pick up the platter, the smell alone waking her up a bit more from her previous haze. It’s only after she took them in her steady hands she noticed how many ripples there were in the liquid.

“Oh. Uh, thank you Stella.”

“No problem.”

Gwen places the cup aside on the bookshelf near her door, right next to the two now-cold brews. Stella brings a hand to her shoulder and looks off to the prow to the sea beyond. A few islands and rainclouds dot the horizon, Albert’s shipyard being the most recognizable with its rigid, man-made structures. Gwen herself was never much of a fan of the boatsman, not just because of his god-awful jokes but because of his “business oriented” mindset, always needing to get something out of every interaction. Though of course his puns certainly were high on the list, he seemed to at least take the annoyed reactions as a sort of payment in of itself.

In the process of scoping out the horizon Stella shifts her hat around, revealing its backside a few flecks of pink that stand out against the ivy green of her hat. Cherry blossom petals. 

Gwen’s grip on the doorframe tightens at the sight of them, but she does her best to try and hide her squeamishness. Whether or not Stella knew about them, Gwen wanted to get rid of them fast.

“Hey, you got something there.” Gwen speaks with the shaky gentleness like a babysitter caring for a recently injured child. With a quick flick the petals rise from the fabric and drift down to Stella’s side. In the brief moment before they’re swept up by the wind, Stella catches a glimpse of her unknown accessory and--after her ears pick up the faintest hint of a gasp--Gwen finally manages a peek beneath the brim of her hat.

Though the small two second glimpse that she got made her wish she didn’t.

The sun was partially blocked out by her low brim, but the faint shimmer from the Everlight shined upwards to her face and presented her features clearly. Stella’s eyes were wide at the sight of the petals, wide enough for Gwen to clearly see the puffy redness that lingered around her pupils. They quickly went out of view as Stella completely turned and lifted up her hand towards the pink remnants, hiding the damp steaks that trailed down to her chin. 

Stella’s fingers barely brushed against the petals as they seemed to hang in stasis for the longest second, but before she could grasp just one in her palms they were whisked away by the brisk morning air, fluttering out to the cold, endless sea.

Her hand lingered in that spot as if trying to hold onto even the memory of the cherry blossoms. Stella’s hand drifted back down to her side clenched firmly along with her stiffened shoulders. Not a sound escaped from her lips.

Gwen was still reeling from the sight of the Spiritfarer’s anguish, having taken a step back into her cozy, dimly lit cottage. She knew Stella wasn’t doing too well after yesterday’s events; Stella is an empathetic person, that’s just how her friend is. That short, two second long glimpse however shattered any preconceived notions that she was handling it in any sense of the word.

With her inner voice yelling at her to do fucking something Gwen gulps down her guilt and steps forward, hand outstretched.

“Hey… Stella-”

The human takes a wide and hard step away from the cottage, her firm footfall being enough to silence the deer. With a deep breath in and out Stella commands her body to be still and cease its trembling. Gwen tries to muster up something to say, but Stella is already walking towards the ladder down to the deck.

“Stell’, if you want-”

“We’re going to be heading to Albert’s later.” The Spiritfarer says, cutting off circulation to one of her wrists with her bare hand alone. “Need his help in building some stuff and repairing the prow from our ice trip. I wanted to do a few things around the boat first, that’s why I stopped by so early.” Her head dips down a bit further as her voice grows quieter. “Just wanted to let you know.” 

Stella kneels down and plants a foot on the ladder, sending a surge of panic through the deer’s system as she feels her chance to say anything slip away just as quickly as the petals. Gwen hastily steps to the ladder and holds out her hand as Stella’s hat becomes the only visible part left of her

“Stella wait!”

The Spiritfarer’s hat halts on command, but does not rise. Gwen, standing right before the ladder down to the deck, is granted the opportunity to say whatever it is she wishes to say. She opens her mouth, hoping that whatever came out would be enough for her to at least stay, and-

“...do… you need any help? With the things you get done?”

Both friends stand suspended in time once more. The salt-tinged breeze flutters the flaps of the Spiritfarer’s hat and flows into the deer’s mouth, adding more of the bitter taste to her tongue. 

Stella reaches a free hand to her sunhat and pulls it backwards, giving her friend a clear view of her face… and the painfully pleasant smile that accompanies it.

“Don’t worry” Stella says, “I can handle it.”

With that, Stella pushes the brim back down and descends along with it towards the deck. Gwen stands at the edge of her porch, frozen and wordless, as her friend walks away from the prow and slips into the foundry right below and out of sight.

It takes a few moments for Gwen to regain control over her body and register the aching in her chest. She was there. She was right there , and stopped to listen to whatever she had to say. Gwen could see her friend was hurting, she literally saw the pain on her face, she could have extended her hand like Stella did to her so many times before, like when she needed it most in her life.

‘And I just… didn’t.’

Gwen let out a frustrated exhale and pressed her hands to her face. She didn’t know why she didn’t say something better, something that could have mattered. Even if she blamed it on something else holding her back the fact she didn’t say anything still stung.

All of the different successful scenarios play one after another in her mind. “Can we please talk about yesterday?” “Can I tell you how I feel about the book you gave me?” “Can you stay with me a bit longer? I just want to talk with you for a while.”

But she knows that ship has sailed, and she knows Stella likely won’t want to talk for a while now that she’s gone into working mode. She’s known her long enough to know that.

“Oh, Stella…”

With all options she can see closed, Gwen lets her hands drop to her shoulders and turns around to go back inside and finish her cigarette. Maybe at the very least she could help later with repairing the shi-

“It’s so frustrating!!!”

“ GHAH !”

Gwen’s fur spikes up as her body jolts backward against a nearby pole, adrenaline spiking from the sudden new voice yelling right into her ears.

“Big Hat’s just been acting like that ALL breakfast! I tried to show her a drawing I made and tell her what happens when you put paper in the blanket maker, but she’s been acting weird all day! And I hate it!!”

Four dirt covered, stubby arms wiggle and punch the air in frustration as their owner raves about Stella’s newest depressive mood. With her body now descending from its fight-or-flight response, Gwen recognizes and sighs at the sight of her fellow fungusy passenger.

“Stanley, can you please not do that again? You scared me half to death.” Gwen didn’t even have the mental energy to recognize the irony of that statement.

“Oh, sorry Deer Face!” The child quickly quiets and retracts his arms upon realizing his mistake. She’s grown to tolerate the name calling by now. “I just hate seeing Big Hat like that! And I know Cat Head said ‘hate’ is a bad word and I shouldn’t say it because it’s a bad word but I do!! And I wanna stop it!!”

“Believe me kid, I do too…”

“‘M not a kid!!!”

Albeit slightly annoyed from the last few seconds, Gwen feels relieved having a slight change of pace compared to all of the gloom of the past two days. Truth be told Gwen was never much of a kid person--she made that explicitly clear to anyone she tried meeting when she was alive. She was well aware of how important letting them figure themselves out was, she just never really preferred to be there when that happened. Although ever since the boat’s youngest passenger popped into existence, she found that course of action was something of a luxury in the afterlife.

Gwen pushed herself off of the pole and clapped her hands a single time, walking closer to the red capped attention seeker.

“So then Stanley,” Gwen looked up to the mushroom’s eyes, which met her with youthful expectation, “any chance you could tell me why you felt the need to drop in after Stella and I’s private conversation…”

She glanced up to the rest of his body dangling from the deck above her.  “Quite literally, no less?”

“Oh! Well Deer Face…” Stanley “Eh’s!” and “Nyeh’s!” as he wiggles his legs from the point above him and lets his body flop to her porch, using his many arms to absorb his fall then stand right back up. “We didn’t want to interrupt you two because that would be rude, so I waited until you were done! And I know I’m not that taller than everyone else here, so I hung from up there to see your eyes like a big boy!”

Gwen chuckles and the kindergarten logic the boy uses to reason himself and goes to place her head on her hand. “Unfortunately I don’t think you’ll be able to…” her hand pauses right as a knuckle touches her chin. “Wait, us?”

“ Oh shit!”

All of the frills on Gwen perk up at the quiet hiss through clenched teeth. The deer looks around for the source of the noise, but aside from Stanley no other passengers are to be found. 

“Yeah! We wanted to listen and see if you could stop Big Hat from acting so weird and quiet, I hate quiet.” He continues, blissfully unaware of the cover he’s blown for his fellow eavesdropper. “It was Mister Lion’s idea, he said that since we all live on this boat together we’re like a big neighborhood, and he also said it’s okay for neighbors to listen in on each other! He even held my legs because it’s hard to hang like that on my own!”

“Kid please shut up!”

There it was again. Even though it was quieter Gwen’s ears could make out a slight gruffness to it.

‘And going off of Stanley’s nickname, I already have a hunch…’

Gwen steps backward to the edge of her porch and peers up to the spot where Stanley was previously hanging from. Sure enough, she could just barely see tufts of dark purple fur peeking above the floorboards. Not even a second later an eye peeks out from that tuft to meet Gwen’s, then squeezes tight once again as the mass scoots backwards out of sight. 

‘Ten points for me. ’

Gwen steps over to the right edge of her porch and grabs hold of her ladder, planting a foot on the creaking wood and swinging her body around. Stanley follows right behind her as she lifts her other hoof to the next rung

“I told you this was a bad idea Giovanni!”

“Is that so dearest? You seemed quite eager to join after all.~”

“This is not the time for that!”

Gwen stops for a second as she hears another voice hiss as the first. Her eyebrows furrowing, she takes another firm step up as the hushed whispers continue, Stanley following close behind.

“Oh dear, I do hope that she doesn’t think less of us for spying like this.”

“Worry not Madame, we were fully justified in doing as such! Any business our Skipper may have is our business as well!”

“That may be true… but I do still feel bad, maybe we should apologize?”

‘Is that--how many people are up here?!’ Gwen thinks, her antlers starting to poke out the top.

“ Look, everyone just quiet down. If she goes back inside then we’ll just walk away, if not then- urp!”

Right as Gwen’s head surfaces above the porch, she’s met face to face with a large mass of blue slimy skin and wide blank eyes. She needs to retract her head as far as possible to properly look at his frog-in-the-headlights grimace. Cover blown, Atul can only let out a low, awkward croak.

Gwen blinks in surprise at the large amphibian visiter, but then one by one more sets of blank eyes peek out from behind him. A lion’s nonchalant glance, a lynx’s ashamed peek, a falcon’s stalwart gaze and just barely peeking out from behind his wing, a hedgehog’s gentle greeting. Stanley, hanging off the side of Gwen’s ladder, giddily waves to his fellow spies with two arms.

Gwen’s annoyance turns into astonishment as she stares at all of her fellow passengers, huddled down with their stomachs pressed to the floor in an attempt to hide themselves from the target of their eavesdropping now discovering them. Atul being the closest he winces and brings up a webbed hand with a pace so slow you’d believe he’d trigger a bomb if he moved too fast.

“Hhhiiiiiii theeeere, Gwen… Lovely, weather we’re having, isn’t it?”

Chapter 2: Kindness or Friendship

Summary:

Gwen isn't too happy to find the rest of the crew listening in on her conversation with Stella, but what was planned to be an interrogation turns quickly into a discussion about Stella and whether everyone has really been reciprocating her kindness.

Notes:

Oh this chapter was LOTS of fun to write!! Imagining how the different spirits had different relationships with each other was fun to imagine and the resulting dialogue was a blast! I also got a chance to explore a bit more of some character's personalities and Stella's role as the Spiritfarer. These mostly come from my own interpretations about the plot and characters, though I did my best to base stuff off canon as well! (Like, Gwen was apparently hanging out with Charon for a while. I completely forgot about that line tbh fkjsdnfk)

Hope y'all enjoy!

Gwen shuts the door with a sharp click , once again shutting out light from the outside and giving her nose a brief reprieve from the salty air. Now safe from Stella’s ever-watchful gaze she leans against the door with a groan and rubs a palm down her face, holding her elbow with her other hand. The flare of stress within her tries to tempt her with another smoke but that’s a bit off the table for the time being.

“Now then…” She peeks out through her fingers at her guests. “Anybody care to explain what exactly I witnessed out there?”

The entire spirit population--minus Stella--huddle together in her cottage. Alice nestles her quills into her reading chair, Stanley kicks his legs from the platform above her as Gustav sips her latest cup of coffee right beside him, and the large fluffy lovers stand side-by-side draping themselves over her quilt (no doubt getting plenty of fur on it in the process). Atul stood at the wall beside the door, sucking in his gut somewhat to give his niece’s friend some room. 

All of her new guests are silent, not wanting to be the one who speaks first. They avert their eyes to observe all of the decor that lined the walls, somehow less fancy than they were initially expecting. Despite spying on the two’s earlier conversation and ushering themselves into her home, now they suddenly couldn’t bring themselves to give the one thing she asked for in return: an explanation.

Well, except one.

“We were spying on you.” Stanley says, matter of fact.

Astrid and Atul flinch.

“Little one please,” the lynx peeks up to the child with a semi-pleading smile, “now isn’t the time for exaggeration.”

“Y-yeah! Spying is a crude misinterpretation of that! We were just uh, passing by! An honest mistake, really!” Atul tries to cover themselves up, but the desperation on his face doesn't do him any favors.

“Oh is that so? And let me guess, just as every single one of you was passing by--at the same time…” Gwen gestures to all of them with her finger. “You all happened to suddenly trip and fall at once, right above my cottage, right as I was making my way up the ladder? Hm?”

Astrid and Atul both had their mouths open, but with each word decided it would be better to stop before they embarrassed themselves further and pressed their backs up against the wall. 

“Oh come now Madame Gwenifer, aren’t you being too-” 

“Gustav,” she cuts the falcon off while digging her fingers into her fur, “call me that again and I’m throwing your ‘art’ into the smelting furnace.”

The crimson bird draws his head back at the threat with an offended gasp , then scoffs and goes back to sipping her cappuccino. His whole manner of being angered the deer, feeling uncomfortably familiar to her old life. His drinking her coffee certainly didn’t help that fact either (she wasn’t planning on finishing it anyways, but still).

“Oh dearie, I’m sorry for imposing on you like that.” Alice cups her hands together as she apologizes to the deer. “We all are. It’s just-”

“Oh I know you are Alice, don’t worry. It’s just,” Gwen eyes Giovanni as he reaches over and picks up one of her two remaining cups from the desk as if it were meant for him, “ difficult , to share that sympathy with everyone else here.” Alice shifts a tad in her chair, making an attempt to cross her little stumpy legs before resigning from that noble effort.

“I’m confused…” Stanley scratches his mushroom cap. “Were we not playing spies? We were crawling around actin’ all quiet, that’s what spies do! Or, is it ninjas…?” He turns to Gustav and whispers if spies are ninjas. His crimson friend takes a moment to genuinely ponder this line of questioning.

“No no toadstool, you were right the first time.” The world’s least favorite lion finally chimes in, shrugging with his usual smugness. “No harm in calling it what it is after all.”

Gwen scoffs, wondering how he even had someone to cheat on in the first place. “Figures that you’d be the one to come up with all this. Rounding up everyone to eavesdrop. You don’t even feel ashamed, do you?”

“Bingo, Bambina!” Giovanni toasts to Gwen with the cold brew. He nearly spits it out when he realizes it’s not actually hot.

“Had a feeling.” She shakes her head as the lion pours the remains into a nearby houseplant. “With how Stanley was talking earlier I knew you were behind this somehow. You cannot be a good influence on him.

“Though what I don’t understand,” The deer turns to look at the rest of the animals in the room who immediately refocus on the walls around them, “is how he roped the rest of you into this. I thought it was agreed upon that Mufasa over here shouldn’t be listened to after the sitcom incident?” 

“Hey, kids need to be taught that stuff eventually! It’s how I was after all, thought it was only fair.” Giovanni pours the cold brew into the potted plant. Stanley shivers under Gustav’s wings.

“Well, Miss Gwen, it’s a bit complicated. You see-”

“It’s Stella.” Atul sucks it up and stops Astrid before they can prolong it any longer.

“....yeah, of course it is.” Gwen looks away for a brief moment. “You were listening in on our conversation.”

“Ugh, c’mon. You know just as well as us that Stella’s been a wreck since Summer--”

“Died?” Astrid gives a slight knock to Giovanni’s head.

“ ... yeah. I know.” Gwen crosses her arms. 

“It really is a shame that Summer had to go through that. We were all having such a lovely dinner but… why, she didn’t even tell us! I would’ve been glad to help her, brew some tea and soup if needed. Well, perhaps I can bring them to her when we go to visit the hospital.”

A few beats of silence pass before a look of realization hits the old lady’s snout. She scoots back further in the chair.

“Ah… my apologies.”

“‘Tis a true shame, Madame Summer and I’s talks were quite enlightening. She and I exchanged many cups of tea while sharing theories about the nature of art and life.” Gustav simply sighs and shrugs. “But it is an aspect of our afterlives. Everybody leaves eventually.”

“Ugh get down from your perch you stuck up ingrate.” Astrid shoots him a glare. “Not everybody shares your nonchalance about death! Besides, have you even been paying attention when Summer was around?”

“Of course I did! On the past Thursday before she had to depart we had a pleasing talk about beauty tied with the inevitability of--”

“Um, Mister Bird? I think they’re talking about how she walked.” The mushroom child whispers in his ear. Gustav blinks.

“...ah, yes! Yes, of course, quite.” He nods his head quickly and puts a wing to his chin. Smooth. 

“The way she walked?” Gwen asks. “I didn’t see anything different from her. Besides, she slithers, isn’t she always ‘walking’ weird?”

“No, no, Stanley’s right!” Alice waves a paw to catch attention. “It’s not something many people notice, but back with my grandchildren their footsteps were louder or slower I could tell how they were feeling. Slow footsteps meant candy and a band-aid, fast footsteps meant carrots and board games!”

Gwen tilts her head to the side. “That… kinda makes sense. Whenever my dad was in the house I did try to walk quieter.”

“And when my mom brought out fancy bottles I only stepped on the rugs!” Stanley excitedly waved his hands.

“Yes, yes exactly! So a few weeks ago, after she and Stella came back from their meditation trip at Mnt. Toroyama, I saw she was walking a little slower. I had assumed she strained herself climbing the mountain, after all I often do so myself on long hikes, so I asked her about it.”

“And… and what did she say?” Atul fiddles with his webbed hands.

“Ah, I don’t remember it exactly. My memory isn’t the best and she does like to use big words sometimes. But I believe it was…” She tugs on the edges of her hat to try and remember. “‘ My body is quite healthy, something something, within? ’ Or something along those lines.”

“Within. Well, I guess we know what that is now. Was.” Gwen fiddles with the cigarette holder in her hands.

“B-but why didn’t she tell us? We could’ve tried to help her at least, keep her from straining herself. Heck, I would’ve been glad to carry her around the ship, I’m a strong frog! She’s seen me fix her house countless times…” The sadness is clear in Atul’s voice.

“Hm, could very well be pride. In the form I had during my previous life, I often rejected such offers for help, trying to prove myself. Though as you can see, we know how that turned out now.” Gustav gestures to… everything.

“No… no I don’t think that’s it.” Astrid crosses her arms, her eyes downcast. “She did like to do things herself, yes, but I’m not sure if it was pride. Summer gladly asked for help from Stella after all when it came to those dragon things and the gems after all.”

Gwen stares down at her cigarette holder, rubbing a thumb along the main pipe. Stella… Yeah, she knew she recognized that behavior from somewhere.

“I think she didn’t want to worry people.” Gwen leans against the front door, thinking hard. “The other things, asking for help with projects and meditation, she was fine with that. But I think for this she didn’t want people to get scared about her condition. If she did--”

“Then people would start seeing her differently, treating her differently.” Gustav nodded solemnly. 

“She probably wanted to just power through it, get through all her lessons with Stella before she had to leave. She wanted to spend more time with her, more time with the rest of us. But then… that happened. And she had to leave.”

Gwen remembers that horrified look on Stella’s face as Summer collapsed, panting and wheezing heavily, barely able to respond. She tried to do whatever she could to help: bringing her back to her room with the gems, bringing her plants that Summer talked about before, any treatment she could think of. The entire time everyone else just waited outside her lodgings, doing whatever they could to help. But after a very, very long day of trying to fix things, Gwen watched as Stella left her room with a grim look and--without a word--set course for the Everdoor.

“That’s why Stella’s like this. She thinks it’s her fault. There’s no doubt she noticed too, but she didn’t want to impose and just did what she could to make her feel comfortable. And because she’s the Spiritfarer now, she feels doubly responsible for what happened. This was the first time she took someone to the Everdoor and it was while they were in pain because of what she did.” 

Gwen and everyone else waited on the ship’s stern for hours after Stella left with Summer’s form tangled in her hands. She watched the two row over the red water and through the cherry blossom trees until both disappeared behind them. The light from the Everdoor cut through the darkness and nearly blinded the entire crew, but even for hours after that Stella didn’t come back. One by one the other spirits went back to sleep, and around the end Gwen began to do the same. But right as she opened the door to her cottage she heard the rowboat get pulled up and saw Stella’s shadow disappear into her cabin. 

And Gwen didn’t follow her.

“ Oh Stella… ” She whispered to herself. “ I’m such an idiot.”

The small and cramped cabin is dead silent as Gwen finally finishes her thoughts. The deer holds her shoulder, thinking hard about what just happened and trying to avoid taking another puff of smoke. When she finally looks back up to everyone else, Gwen finally feels the weight of everyone’s gazes directed at her.

“.....what?”

“Oh, nothing.” Giovanni raises up his elbows in a stretch. “Just glad that you’re finally up to pace with everyone else.”

The aristocrat’s eyes tighten into a glare. “Oh will you shut up already you ass?”

“Language…”  Atul whispers. 

“Giovanni this is not the time for your games! Can’t you see she’s hurting right now?” Astrid fumes and waves a giant paw over to Gwen.

“Who said I was playing games, darling~?” The lion bops the lynx on the nose with a finger. Astrid stutters then turns away in a huff. 

“Guys, we really shouldn’t be arguing like this.” Atul holds up his hands in Gwen and Giovanni’s directions. “This isn’t getting us anywhere.”

“Oh I’m well aware my compadré! That’s what I was trying to signify in the first place.” He brings down a paw and circles it in the air as he finds his words. “We’re all here to try and help our little bambina feel better, and feeling sorry for ourselves won’t do anything about that.”

“And antagonizing people won’t either.” Astrid says. “Honestly Gio it’s hard to believe you even care for Stella in the first place! All you’ve done since you've gotten here is pester her to buy you random things, then immediately turn around and give them to me!”

“Oh my love, how you wound me so~” His voice fluctuates dramatically and puts a paw to his forehead. He does peek with an eye though. “Though, to be honest, doesn’t that come off as a tad hypocritical? To any of you?”

Gwen scoffs, astonished. “I’m sorry?”

“It is true! I do ask for Stella to go out and buy me gifts for Astrid. But tell me, how is that any different to what the rest of you do? What have you all done for her?”

Stanley wiggles uncomfortably in his seat. “I, I’ve been trying to help! I’ve been pulling up carrots and other veggies from the field for her!”

“I’ve been fixing the houses for her!”

“I’ve been cooking for the crew so Stella doesn’t have to.”

“I mine some ore when I get the chance.”

“I give the boat some well-needed ambiance with my viola.”

“And I’ve been picking up seeds and working the loom for her.” Gwen finishes, crossing her arms. “Sounds like a lot more than what you’ve been doing, lounging around and flirting with people for hookups.”

“Mmhmm. I won’t deny that. You all certainly have been doing more,” Giovanni’s head tilts down looking at the rest, “helping Stella with her job. ” 

“Her job?” Stanley asks. “I thought Big Hat was doing this because she was nice?”

“That is part of it toadstool, our mutual caretaker does care about us. Likely wouldn’t have taken up this position if it wasn’t. But that’s precisely it--” Giovanni snaps his fingers “--her caring for us, making sure we’re fed and helping with our problems, that’s all in the job description. But farming for her, cooking for her, fixing houses for her, none of you have done something for her unrelated to her job. ”

“But we had set up a book club for us, Gwen and Summer!” Alice says.

“Which Stella set up herself, leaving you all to it several times for boat maintenance.”

“I let the little one constantly take part in the art of creation, along with young Stanley here!” Gustav says.

“Gustav everything is art with you, so therefore it’s business for her. I’m sorry birdboy but you have zero filter.”

“But Astrid and I constantly invite her to our movie nights! You’ve seen us do that several times!! ” Atul scrambles desperately for stable ground. 

“You invite her to your own events to make her feel included, yes.” Giovanni gives a tiny nod. “But Stella’s the one setting up events, the one helping with art and the one just being invited as an afterthought. So tell me Uncle, what have you done specifically for Stella outside her job?”

Realization strikes Atul straight to the forehead, taking a step back and putting a palm to it. “I… I didn’t realize--”

“And what, you have been doing stuff for her?!” Gwen raises her voice and stomps a hoof. “You’re trying to tear us down for not caring for Stella, not doing stuff specifically for her, but what have you--”

“I’ve been giving her a few necklaces and jewels that I’ve collected during my travels in this world.” The lion cuts off the deer before she even has a chance. “While I technically paid my dues when I first joined, I still wanted to show my appreciation, so I gave her what I could find. Whether she keeps them or sells them, it doesn’t matter to me, but I have been seeing her walk around with a familiar shiny bracelet~”

“B-but! You--!!”

“Even my beloved Astrid can testify for me!” He wraps an arm around the Lynx’s side, a guilty expression on her face. “I’m called many things honey: scandalous, unrestrained, a flirt, and all of those very well can be true! But one thing I am most certainly not is ignorant.”

Gwen is baffled, scrambling over herself to try and find some fraction of an argument against Giovanni. “A-astrid, you can’t be--?!” She turns to the old cat (currently receiving a kiss on the cheek from Giovanni) trying for something at all. But Astrid has the same guilty look as Atul, looking away.

“...no, no he’s right.” Her voice is low and quiet. “When we lived together, Giovanni always paid his rent on time, always remembered important dates and always knew when to get me chocolates when I was upset. He is… a lot of things, but he’s telling the truth here.”

“You, you can’t be serious…” Gwen steps backwards and bumps into her wardrobe. Thinking back on it now, she really can’t remember any time she did something specifically for Stella as a person. She helped her friend get started, pointed her in the right directions for Atul and upgrading the ship, helped harvest fiber. But outside of that, she couldn’t think of anything she did for Stella herself. While the Spiritfarer may have had help in her tasks, personally? She was alone.

It was just like when she was alive. Stella was the one who came over to play, Stella was the one who cried for her, Stella was the one who hand-crafted gifts for her. Gwen may have given her gifts in return, but rarely had she done anything to the level that Stella did. In all her life she cannot recall a single time when she was the one who comforted Stella, only the other way around. She was never the one to reach out first.

‘And I still call myself her best friend…’

………..

“Ah, come now everyone, was that fact alone enough to make you all depressed?”

The spirits turn their heads back to Giovanni, shaking his head in disappointment. 

“W-what..?” Atul croaks.

“Did you not all hear what I had just said? Self pity gets us nowhere! We all met up here because we wanted to try and help our mutual friend, not wallow in our mutual ignorance, right?” He peeks back up with a sly and condescending smirk. Any other time Gwen would be frustrated or upset, but right now she was just confused.

“I, what? Are you trying to--”

“Yeah!! Mister Lion is right!!” Stanley stands up and cheers from the higher ledge, making Gustav scoot back a bit. “I don’t understand what’s going on here or why you’re all sad, but Big Hat’s the sad one right now! Being sad because you made someone else sad is stupid!! You’re all being stupid!!!”

“Now now dear that’s not too nice,” Alice peeks up from the chair, “...but I will say that he has a point. I feel bad, but I think what Stella needs the most right now is some friends. She’s hurting a lot right now, so we should help her instead of sulking in here. It’s what she’d do for us.”

“....you guys are right, I know you all are.” Gwen says, her head still turned away. “But I’m not entirely sure if we can. I know Stella, right now she’s completely tunnel visioned. Whenever she’s upset Stella gets to work on something and blocks everything else out, even forgetting to eat. She’s doing that right now, has been ever since she sent Summer off.”

“Well, not entirely.” Gustav strokes his chin. “There isn’t exactly something large-scale she’s working on right now, is there? At the moment she’s just doing her usual rounds, farming and the like. I highly doubt that would be enough to keep her occupied, once she’s done with those we can do what we can.”

“YEAH!!! I’ve been working on this really really cool drawing of everyone here for a few days now and I’ve been planning on giving it to her!!” Stanley digs into his mushroom cap and pulls out a giant quilt-square of paper, several pieces taped and stapled together to portray the entire ship and everyone on it. Gustav looks in awe at the craftsmanship 

“No, but she will be soon. Stella told me earlier, we’re going to be heading to Albert’s sometime today, and with how long that normally takes I’m sure she’s going to just throw herself into stuff there.”

“Ah, well that’s no good now is it?” Astrid contemplates. “Well… maybe we could convince her to hold off on it until tomorrow? Distract her with something else until we have time to surprise her with something?”

“As good as that sounds, I highly doubt it.” Atul crosses his own arms and furrows his brow so intensely it looks like it might separate. “She’d likely try and say that she can do it while the renovations are happening. If it was on the other side of the entire ocean she’d just use the rowboat the whole way there. If there’s one thing my niece shares with me, it’s stubbornness.”

“Young skipper is the only one who can control this craft after all. Because she has the Everlight, like it or not, she does have the final say in a lot of matters.” Gustav thinks out loud.

“ Ever… Evuh… Oh! You mean that glowy thing that Big Hat pulls her tools out of?” Stanley says like he made a breakthrough.

“It isn’t just that, kid,” Gwen explains, “that light is the tool. It’s everything. Her pickaxe, her watering can and her key to the ship. And since she’s the Spiritfarer, it’s only her’s to use.”

“Why?” Stanley asks.

“....because she’s the Spiritfarer.”

“But what is a Spiritfarer?” He asks again.

“It’s… well, it helps people out with their problems I guess.” 

“But I help Big Hat all the time with crushing stuff! Doesn’t that mean I’m the Spiritfarer too?” 

“It’s-- ugh, it’s not that simple. There can only be one Spiritfarer at a time!” Gwen makes gestures with her hands to try and form her words. “Even if other people help other people, you have to be… appointed Spiritfarer or something. I don’t know, I wasn’t there when Stella got the title.”

“So a fancy title means you can use the orb?” Stanley thinks long and hard, then suddenly stands up with all his arms shooting out to the side (and accidentally hitting Gustav). “I AM THE SPIRITFARER!!!!”

To his dismay, the Everlight doesn’t come knocking at the front door. He sits back down and pouts with a soft ‘aw…’ as Atul and Gwen chuckle a bit.

“A noble effort Toadstool.” Giovanni gives a thumbs up.

“Actually… Stanley has a point. Why can’t we use the Everlight?” A thought forms on Atul’s face. “Who’s to say we can’t use it too?”

“Because the Everlight is made for the Spiritfarer! We can’t use it ourselves!”

“Yeah but… says who?” The frog presses.

“Says Charon. I was with him before Stella got appointed, remember?”

“Are you sure he didn’t just say that to make sure you didn’t mess with it?” Giovanni asks.

“I--!” Gwen pauses with a finger up in the air and mouth open, but takes a second and retracts it, thinking.

“There were several times I had to babysit my grandkids and take away their toys. Why couldn’t we do the same?” Alice smiles, starting to look a bit more optimistic.

Gwen closes her mouth and brings a paw to her chin. 

“Heck, there were a lot of times my wife just walked into my workshop and took the hammer from my hands! That was whenever it was around 3 AM or so, to make sure I got some decent sleep before the next day.”

Gwen’s brow furrows. “........huh.”

“There is still the issue of Daffodil though.” Gustav raises a winged finger. “If we could use Stella’s Everlight, who’s to say Skipper couldn’t use her cat’s?”

“Mmm, true…” Astrid taps a foot, thumping the ground. “Well, what about--”

A muffled mew interrupts the planning along with soft scratching on Gwen’s door. The crew look between each other for a beat, then Gwen opens the door.

Inward struts in Daffodil, the second Everlight stuck to her collar.  

Nearly everyone in the room stands up and prepares just in case Daffodil tries to run off. Gwen closes the door quickly, Alice digs through her hat for anything to use, Stanley hops down with all his arms spread out to catch the cat. But instead, seeing an entire cabin’s worth of spirits, the second in command just looks about, yawns, then sits without a care in the world. 

Everyone blinks, completely thrown off their own groove. This was far too much of a coincidence, they all thought, there was no way Daffodil just happened to come in to join as they were talking about her. Right? Gwen looks at Giovanni, but even he seems as surprised and on edge as everyone else watching a fellow cat lick their paws.

With tiny baby steps Atul sneaks up behind the cat like a cartoon character. His weight causes the floorboards to creak each time until his shadow looms directly over him. He reaches down slowly like the air is made of honey and right as he’s about to pick up Daffodil he peeks back at the frog. Everyone freezes, their collective hearts racing a mile a minute. Then to everyone’s shock, Daffodil simply turns around to face Atul and lifts his head up high, clearly showing off the Everlight for all to see.

Both Gwen and Atul shoot confused and tense glances at each other holding their breaths hard. Atul looks around and shrugs, Gwen gestures to the cat quickly, Atul points to his head in confusion, Gwen points down sharply at the Everlight. With a gulp and extremely careful hands Atul leans town and wraps his webbed hands around the glowing orb.

With a soft plink it disconnects from his collar effortlessly and everyone’s stomach jumps a bit from the sound. He slowly stands back up, feeling the weight of the entire spirit world in his hands and staring into the constantly shifting glow of this world’s most powerful tool. The thing was barely bigger than Atul’s palms yet it looked so delicate. No shiny rituals, no bombastic flair, nothing. It was that simple all along.

Daffodil, seeing his work done, walks over and hops onto Alice’s lap to curl up.

“..... what the fuck just happened? ” Gwen finally lets out a breath along with everyone else.

“From the looks of it,” Giovanni coughs and crosses his arms again, “Daffodil just gave all of us his blessing.”

Daffodil lets out a big yawn, then plops his head down for a catnap. 

“Then that settles it!” Gustav claps his wings together. “We get the Everlight away from Stella and then all of us can spend a few days ensuring her wellbeing! My work is already far enough ahead as is, I can afford to take a pause on my gallery.”

“I can cook some of Stella’s favorite meals just for her! Atul, could you be a dearie and help me with that?” Alice excitedly smiles while gently stroking Daffodil’s back.

“Oh of course!” Atul puts the Everlight in his little scarf and turns to her. “You might not have guessed it, but Stella has always been a nut for mushrooms!”

“I’ll prepare some blankets and some of Stella’s favorite shows! She dropped some off for me the other day and I’m sure she’d love to go through it again!” Astrid cheers.

“And I will give Peanut a little spa day! Face masks, pedicures, the full enchilada! A nice exfoliation will really help calm the nerves~” Giovanni claps his paws together.

“OH WAIT!!! Before you all go and get ready, quick! Sign my picture!!” Stanley hops up and down with his paper tapestry, already coming apart at the seams. 

Gwen looks out at all of this commotion, somehow the cabin managed to have life returned to it. It felt unreal, everyone pulling together to finally give Stella a well deserved vacation. The deer had never done something like this when she was alive, especially in this big a group. Yet here were all these people doing so without being prompted, just because they all cared for her. All of them inserting themselves into Stella’s life for no other reason than that they care for her. 

‘Maybe… I was wrong after all.’ Gwen smiles and steps forward to sign the giant paper, when--

WHOOM

All of the passengers stumbled a bit as they felt a jolt of movement. It wasn’t too big to knock them over, but a sensation they were all too familiar with. The ship started moving.

“Stella’s going to Albert’s right now!!” Astrid yells. A swift moment of panic overtakes the crew. 

“Crap… if we don’t get Stella’s Everlight before we get there then she’s going to be in work mode until she collapses!” Atul, for once, completely glosses over his accidental swear.

“In that case, you better get going bambina!” Giovanni starts ushering Gwen out the door. 

“Wait wha-- why me?!” Gwen yells looking back.

“Why? You’re her best friend, aren’t you? You know Stella best, plus I doubt she’d listen to little ol’ me~” Giovanni opens the door and lightly nudges Gwen out with a smile and a wink. 

“Giovanni…” The deer stares at the purple lion, a strange mixture of feelings in her stomach. She had hated this man ever since he stepped on board with all his constant flirting and carefree attitude. Yet he’d shown a completely different side of himself in the past meeting, a much more caring side. Was this some odd form of respect?

“Now scoot that fuzzy butt of yours down to Stella’s cabin quick! Or are you just gonna stare into my headlights and do nothing~?”

Nope, absolutely not. 

“...sure thing.” Gwen makes her way to the ladder down to the main deck and swings herself around. All of Stella’s friends waving to her, cheering her on and wishing her luck. Atul pumping a fist, Stanley waving his many arms, Gustav giving a simple nod, Astrid waving her fan, Alice waving one of Daffodil’s little paws and Giovanni giving a playful wave. 

“Good luck!!! Kick those bad thoughts out of Big Hat’s head!!” 

She wasn’t alone. Stella wasn’t going to be alone, this time she’s going to do something about it.

With a firm nod Gwen descends the ladder and starts lightly jogging towards Stella’s cabin. The shipyard is in sight, she pegged it at around fifteen minutes. Time was short, but she’s going to make it count. 

“I let you down before Stella, in life and death.” She says, running up the steps, “But now I’ll be there for you, whether you like it or not!”

Notes:

The next chapter I'm really excited for, it's this fic's namesake! If you like it feel free to let me know, hope you have a nice day!!

Chapter 3: Ready or Not...

Summary:

It's a lot harder to confront your friends than it is to confront your enemies.

Notes:

Soooooooo, this was originally supposed to be the final chapter. But then the convo between Gwen and Stella reached almost 20 pages.

I'm gonna be working on this a little bit longer, but have this in the meanwhile! This chapter contains half-spoilers and half-personal headcanon about what Stella and Gwen were like alive, so if you're worried about spoilers? Don't be! You won't know which are for real and which I made up! HAH

Anyways, enjoy!!

The blinds of the captain’s quarters are closed and the door firmly shut. With no natural light peeking through the entire room is pitch black, save for the golden hue of the Everlight. It sits in the projector’s glass bowl feeding light through the machine and displaying a comprehensive map of all that the Spiritfarer had explored so far in this world. The Everdoor’s gold-pink hue stood out against the rest and for a moment fingers delicately pressed up against the gate, before they swiped away and over to the firm structures of the shipyard. The Spiritfarer had no time or permission to wallow, this was her position, she was the one who accepted this mantle. 

Work had to be done. 

Pressing two fingers firmly against the projector’s paper the ship gently hummed as it accepted her will. A golden line was drawn from her ship towards the shipyard. Taking the young girl’s wish the boat’s propellers spring to life and push against the boat all at once towards its destination. All of the little things lining her shelf jittered from the sudden movement but then settled back into place. It wouldn’t be long now. 

Despite the Spiritfarer’s overwhelming desire to throw herself into work, said desire was not enough to instantly transport the boat there as a whole. It would take time--not long, perhaps twenty minutes at most--so she accepts the boat’s invitation for rest before the work begins. She’d need her energy soon. The girl sits down, resting her back on the wall opposite of the map, and brings her knees to her chest. The gentle hum of the engine spreads through the enclosed room around her, gentle vibrations lulling her akin to the vibrations of a car on a long drive back home.

Despite the Everlight being nearly weightless somehow the Spiritfarer’s body feels lighter without it. Lighter, yet more hollow. Empty, as if she were exposed to the air outside the winds would take control of her body and she’d float out into the endless sea. For all she knew that’s likely what would happen, the Spiritfarer hadn’t gone anywhere without her tool. Would she revert to one of those cloaked shades or simply dissipate into ephemeral stardust? Both options sounded likely, but the golden light burned her eyes when she thought about it. She couldn’t leave the stray spirits here alone, that would be selfish. 

It’s not what she deserves. 

The small girl presses her face into her pants and does whatever she can to stave off the memory of the previous nights. All of the panic and desperation present throughout the boat, but most importantly the pain that Summer had felt as the dragon coiled around her. No, not coursing around, through her, devouring every last scrap of life that laid within her. 

“Honey Bee…. it-it hurts…”

She can still hear her voice dripping with pain, wanting to wrythe but her body unable to. It’s impossible to remember how many times the snake had to be carried back up into her loft after she fell down.

“I--I don’t think gemstones can stop it this time…”

The snake looked up at her supposed-guardian, doing everything she could to force a smile. The Spiritfarer digs her fingernails into her clothes.

“T-there’s nothing else you can do… nothing else that… could have been done…” 

She had known, she always had known. Whatever illness a person had was brought into this world. But the two of them were having so much fun, she had just wanted it to go on for a little while longer. 

“S-stell-a…. Please…..”

And Summer suffered for it.

Because she was selfish. 

Pain pricks at the corner of the Spiritfarer’s eyes and her fingernails begin to poke through her sleeves. If she starts crying now then everyone else would ask questions and she wouldn’t be able to control herself. If she does that then her boat would just be sitting in Albert’s boatyard not doing anything. All she’d be doing is taking up space, clogging up the entryway for other ships and inconveniencing anyone else wanting to come in. Albert would get out all his supplies and then just wait as she sits there doing nothing, doing nothing but wasting his time. Wasting everyone’s time.

Just sitting there and being selfish, again, inconveniencing others, again, not doing her duties, again. All she had to do was keep all of those buried and do her job. She can cry later tonight when everyone else is asleep until then--

A loud creek and bright light floods into the captain’s quarters, forcing the Spiritfarer to squint. The golden light is overtaken by white and blue pouring in. But the Spiritfarer didn’t hear a knock, did she miss it in her wallowing? No, there wasn’t a knock at all she was sure of it, but then who--

From her curled up spot on the ground Stella sees a leg step in with a firm clack on the wood, the rest of the figure following soon after. As her eyes slowly adjust to the light she tries looking up with tear-stained cheeks and puffy red eyes to--

“...Stella?”

Gwen looks down at her friend curled up against the wall. Her star-shaped sunhat nearly dwarfed her entire form like this. Stella quickly turns away and wipes her face then shoots herself up to her feet then turns back with eyes closed and a wide smile.

“H-hey Gwen! Sorry if I worried you, didn’t hear you knock. Is there something you need?” 

If it weren’t for the fact that she had seen that face earlier that day, Gwen would’ve thought she imagined Stella crying in the corner. Her friend was an expert at composing herself, but a slight quiver in her voice betrayed her.

Gwen steps all the way into the map-room, taking a deep breath. There was still that feeling in her stomach that she was overstepping her boundaries, that she could accidentally make things worse, but she couldn’t listen to that anymore. No more listening to that part anymore.

“Stella, I want to talk to you.” Gwen states firmly. “I… need to talk with you.”

Stella’s eyebrows raise a bit but she keeps smiling. “Oh, uh, do you want me to make some improvements to your house? Or did you want something in particular for food?”

“No, no I don’t need any of that.” Gwen steps a bit closer. “All I want is to talk with you.”

An eye of the Spiritfarer peaks open in surprise but she quickly hides it with the brow of her hat. “ Oh! I-- ” she coughs, “N-no problem. Are you having troubles with Gustav then, or Giovanni? I’m sorry they can’t really help being like that, it’s just who they are, but I can try to talk with them--”

“No, no not anything like that!” She holds up her paws to try and get her to back down. “I don’t need or want anything else. All I want right now is to talk with you. Nothing else.”

The Spiritfarer takes the smallest step backwards and forces her mouth to keep smiling. That twisting in her gut is back. Gwen came to check on her. She was too obvious, she let her emotions get the better of her and now she’s inconveniencing her friend. 

“A-alright then.” She takes a quiet breath then looks back up, meeting her friend in the eye. “What’s on your mind Gwen?”

The deer gives a quick glance to the map. From the looks of it they were about a quarter of the way to Albert’s, but still going strong. The Everlight sits in the bowl of the projector, if she wanted she could just grab it and run with Stella left confused. But that would be the easy way out. She needed to actually talk here.

“I… I know you’re upset about Summer. So I wanted to check on you. And from the looks of things I was right.” She looks back down to the spot where Stella was before. 

Stella’s body tenses and she rubs her arm. She looks towards the map, staring at the little fragment of the Everdoor that’s still lingering in the corner of the map.

“......yeah, yeah you’re right.” Stella admits with a hint of melancholy in her smile. “I miss her, a little bit.”

“A little bit?” Gwen repeats.

“Yeah, a little.” She admits again. The Spiritfarer felt guilty admitting this at all, but she wanted to ease Gwen’s doubts enough. “I was… looking forward to her lessons. But well,” she shrugs, “it just happens. It still hurts. A lot. But I’m,” she takes a beat to breathe, “I’m the Spiritfarer. It’s a feeling I gotta get used to.”

“But that’s not it, is it?” Gwen says. “That’s not the only reason, right?”

“...no, it’s okay. That’s it.” Stella’s head tilts downwards a bit. “It was my first sendoff. I know it hurts, but like I said, I’m the Spiritfarer. It’s something that I gotta get used to.”

“I know that Summer was hiding her sickness.” 

Stella’s grip on her arm tightens and she can feel the mark already forming. 

“I’m…. I’m sorry?” 

“I didn’t realize it before, but I talked with the others.” Gwen’s voice is surprisingly softer than it normally is. “The sickness, whatever it was, she was trying to hide it from everyone. From you.”

Gwen knew. ‘ Of course Gwen knew she was sharper than you’ve ever been about this stuff.’

“Well! I uh, wow. ” The Spiritfarer rambles as Gwen stares down with the aura of a stern mother. “That’s… I’m surprised you uh, saw that.”

“Surprised?”

“I mean, I didn’t think you would--I didn’t even notice myself!!” Stella’s voice rises a notch in the second half.

“Didn’t think I’d what?” Gwen’s voice returns its commanding tone. Whether or not this was an intervention or an interrogation Stella couldn’t figure it out, but that lump in her throat was rising by the second. 

‘She knows what you did. Gwen knows that you were selfish and now she’s here to tell you how you’re unfit for this position. She of all people would know.’

“I… I didn’t….” Stella tries to swallow and choke down that lump but it doesn’t seem to go anywhere. The glow of the Everlight and Projector almost seems stronger now, harsher against the eyes. Though Gwen doesn’t seem to be reacting at all to that, her blank white eyes staring down into her form, slinking back like a guilty child. That’s one of the few things Stella considered a mercy about this situation, if she saw Gwen’s emerald green eyes pouring into her then her knees would likely give out on their own. 

“Stella.” Just Gwen saying her name so gently feels like a blow to her chest. “You knew, didn’t you?”

It feels like Stella is threatening to shatter her arm from how tight she’s holding it. Her eyes are trained down directly down to the ground trying to get Gwen out of her sight, yet unable to turn away from her. 

‘What were you expecting then, hm? Were you going to try and hide it, cover up your incompetence? No, not even incompetence, arrogance. Acting like you’re not at fault for what happened, trying to dodge your responsibilities. You had a single job, one single responsibility, and you didn’t do it. You chose not to.’

“Stella…” Gwen takes a small step forward, but the Spiritfarer takes a firm step backwards.

“ Gwen, I…..” Her voice is quivering. If she could reach a hand inside herself she’d shove every last frog in her throat to her stomach to stay and never come back out. “..............I did. Yeah.”

The hum of the boat and flicker of the projector fills the silence as both stand together. Gwen still didn’t know how to proceed, scared that just asking would freak out Stella even more. The boat was almost halfway to the shipyard.

“I… I thought she’d be uncomfortable, you know?” Stella forces out. “Thought if I asked about it then she’d have to talk about it. And whenever it was brought up before she, well, didn’t want to. You know?”

Gwen doesn’t say anything, folding her arms. For once in her life Gwen keeps her mouth shut and listens.

“I don’t know when it started for her. I was talking with her one day after doing my rounds and her voice sounded… weaker. She was always a little quiet, that’s just who she is. But it was like she couldn’t do anything more than a whisper. I gave her some cough drops and other medicine, but it stuck around. I wasn’t stu--I thought that it was something alongside her condition. 

“But one day we went out to Furogawa. Wanted to explore the mountains a bit, a sort of hike. She wanted to teach me about nature and how sacred it is, even in the afterlife. Been talking with Gustav a bit and she got inspired I guess. It was fine walking up, I thought she was fine! But about halfway she tripped and when she tried to get up on her own she just… couldn’t.” Stella holds both of her arms as she stares down into the Everlight. She can feel a sting in the corners of her eyes, but doesn’t look away.

“I saw the look on her face. Trying to stand again and not take my help. She was… she was really scared. I never saw her like that before. But when she saw my face she tried to put back on her smile and tell me not to worry about it. Obviously I still helped her either way, it would’ve been rude for me to not have done that right? But she didn’t know what to say after that, just looked really, disconnected? I-I knew I had to say something ! I probably just should’ve started to go back down, or-or maybe carry her up to the top! But I didn’t. I didn’t and I just… invited her to keep climbing.”

Stella’s voice begins to tremble and Gwen picks up her breathing getting faster. The Spiritfarer’s reflection is in the bowl, her eyes flickering back and forth.

“We managed to do the lesson together and come back, and a lot more after that. We were both having fun, it was alright! But Summer kept getting slower, getting weaker, quieter. And I didn’t say anything. I didn’t do anything. Because she was clearly uncomfortable talking about it and I didn’t wanna make her anxious. But I’ve been thinking for a while know about that climb. About that day.” Stella’s form scrunches into itself. 

“If I suggested we came back down… If we saved the lesson for another day, or I carried or, or did something else… would she still have felt as pressured to keep up the act?”

There it was, all out in the open now. Gwen had the hunch earlier that this was the case, but now it all clicked in her head.

Stella pulls down on her hat from both sides after the line is uttered and buries herself in the fabric but she’s unable to stop the words from flowing. 

“I mean, I could see it after that point. She tried to keep herself looking healthier, force herself to sit up straighter, not talk as much to not worry people. I could see that she was hurting and that she was straining myself for me! So, so why didn’t I say anything?” A teardrop falls onto the glass bowl, sounding out a small plink . “ I knew what was going on, I knew how she was forcing herself to act a-and I just didn’t do anything because I thought it would be uncomfortable for her! But th-then at dinner a few days ago she fell over and I tried and tried but nothing worked and she ended up suffering because--”

“Stella stop!” Gwen stomps forward and grabs hold of one of Stella’s arms. She can feel her body shaking like an earthquake.  “Listen to me, alright? You… you did the best you could. What you’re going through, all of this--it’s a lot! Barely anyone has to even think about these kinds of things.”

“But I have to do these things.” She says still looking away. “I’m the Spiritfarer. All of this is just, something I need to get used to.”

“I doubt even Charon had to do something like that before! He was a stuck up old trash bag of a guide who doesn’t even have half the heart you have.”

“ But I’m still the Spiritfarer. It was my responsibility to make sure that Summer passed on peacefully and I couldn’t even do that right.”

“So what, just because Charon gave you a fancy title it means that you’re going to isolate yourself like this?!” Gwen tries to tug Stella a bit closer. “Like it or not Stella, you’re still a person in all of this bullshit and this will only hurt you more--”

“Well maybe that’s what I deserve!” Stella’s cries turn to shrieks for a moment before quieting back down, but each word had enough weight to bring down the ship. “Maybe--maybe this is meant to be a learning experience for me! Because I didn’t do a good job with this, because I was selfish, I hurt someone I loved and forced them to suffer in their last moments! Even if she was trying to hide it, even if she didn’t want to talk about it, I’m the Spiritfarer! I’m the one responsible for all of you here! If the fault is with anyone, it’s me!!”

“Will you just,” Gwen grabs the brim of Stella’s hat, “ stop saying that?!?! ”

The deer rips the green and gold-trimmed hat off of the Spiritfarer’s head and tosses it across the room. Her messy orange hair is exposed along with wide and puffy eyes staring back. Stella tries desperately to pull her hand back and turn away and not expose her best friend to her angst, but the aristocrat won’t budge.

“You’re saying that because you have a new job you deserve bad things to happen to you? You’re saying that because you have the Everlight that you can’t even focus on yourself a little bit?! Listen to yourself Stella!! A single woman can’t be in charge of an entire god-damned spirit world’s mental health Stella, especially one who clearly has just as--if not more--issues than us!!”

“ I-I don’t, please.” With the drop of her hat Stella’s voice lowered to a whisper and shaky breaths. Her gaze is solely on Gwen’s hand pulling her close, trying to figure out an impossible method of getting away from Gwen while also not hurting her.

“And guess what Stella? You know how you’ve been worried about everyone else’s problems? Well now everyone’s worried about yours! All of us literally just talked about what you’re doing, and all of us want to help! We want to be there for you and like it or not we won’t stop being there for you, because you’ve done the same for us, the same for me in both life and death!” Gwen’s voice is sharp and cutthroat, yet also has a tinge of pleading within it as she grasps tighter onto Stella’s wrist, chipping away at her manicure. 

Stella just whimpers as she tries to tug harder on her arm, fresh tears prickling at the sides of her eyes. Gwen’s words swarm around her head and stab at her heart, pouring out blood onto the floorboards beneath. Each slash and cut reflexively makes her wince and the buzz in her head got louder, the glow of the Everlight brighter and harsher. 

“Just because some old hag gave you a fancy title and a multitool it doesn’t mean that you need to become a god-damned pariah! He just dropped you into this with little to no help whatsoever, if I wasn’t there then you would’ve had no idea what to do! Charon just wanted to dump all of his responsibilities onto you Stella, you weren’t trained to do this! You’re still just a person, just like the rest of us!! ”

A hand is shoved harshly against Gwen’s chest and she stumbles back a feet or so. With the strange lighting in the room and harsh shadows the Deer thought that someone had intervened, gotten in between them and tried to tell Gwen to tone it down. But a second look through the room showed no such person. Stella, desperately trying to regain a stable breath and grasping her arms, is the one who pushed.

“Gwen….” Stella forces out through gritted teeth, finally looking up at the deer in the eye. “Do you know what I did after you died? ”

“What? Stella--”

“ A nurse. I was a palliative care nurse. Do you know what that means? I won’t fault you if you don’t know.” 

Gwen struggles to find an answer. She had talked here and there with other passengers before about their relation to Stella during life: an uncle, a teacher, a mentor, a friend. 

“It means I took care of people who were almost guaranteed to die.” Stella doesn’t even wait for a proper answer. “After you died, I met a few more people who were the same way. They didn’t have anyone else, they were alone and confused and scared. They didn’t have long, I knew and so did the doctors. So I did the best thing I could do for them and sat next to them, making sure they didn’t die alone. And as I waited with them I realized just how many people had to go through that, how painful it was to be left to die all by yourself.”

“Stella I, I thought you said you wanted to write?” Gwen asks. “When we were still alive, I thought that’s what you wanted to do.”

“It--it was. But seeing how many people had to go through that struggle, I couldn’t just leave them alone. Besides, my writing wasn’t that good anyways.”

“Bullshit, you showed me your manuscripts yourself! I--”

“Gwen please. Let me talk.” Stella inhales sharply and looks her friend in the eyes. “I worked at a hospital for years, a small one that didn’t have much, but still had patients. They barely had anything, stuck in a decaying building until they passed, but it was the only place they could afford. Can you imagine that, Gwen? Stuck in a room that didn’t even have proper heating during Winter? Freezing and shivering as they waited for it to end, nobody to talk to aside from the janitor? They were suffering.

“So I helped renovate it. I decorated the place, I helped fix the things that were breaking down, helped the people there feel at home. I made friends with them. It was like a family, and even if they didn’t have long left I was able to make them laugh for the first time in years. Helped them feel comfortable when the time finally came.” Stella lifts up one of her hands and stares at her palm with a smile. “They were happy. I was happy, I was doing a good job.”

Gwen starts to realize where this was going. She hadn’t questioned it before, but everyone here was a different age--children, elders, middle aged. Although she was a Deer now, she still felt about as old as she did when she died. Stella looked decently young. “Stella… how long did you do that for?”

“I don’t know. A while, I think. I don’t remember the exact amount of time I was there for. But well, I managed to help a lot of people pass on. So you keep saying that I’m not experienced, but well, you’re kinda wrong.” The Spiritfarer finally stands up straight to face her friend, but still has a few tears streaming down her face. “I’ve been doing this for my entire life.”

The Spiritfarer watches as her friend finally grasps what she’s been trying to say, a look of pain and sympathy she hasn’t seen from her before. Although the pain in her chest remains, this was the only way to fully convince her. She didn’t want Gwen to worry about her more. 

“This whole time? You’ve been doing this ever since I left?”

 “I have. And Charon acknowledged that, giving me this position. You said he forced it on me without training, but that’s not it. He saw how I lived my life, I was already prepared. When he offered it to me I accepted. Sure the Everlight was a little strange, but in the end this place is no different from the hospital. Give people homes, bring them food, talk with them. I already know what to do. And that’s why I’m saying I deserve this. I’ve been doing this all my life, but in the end I got selfish and someone got hurt. I should’ve known better then, but I do now.”

She walks over to the side of the room, kneeling down to inspect her hat. The Spiritfarer didn’t realize just how dusty this floor was up until now, with the brim coated with a healthy coating of gray. All of the natural light from outside is faced behind her, Gwen’s shadow overpowering her own. Both glance to the projector, the shipyard was only a few minutes away. 

“I… I really do appreciate you coming in to check on me like this Gwen. Don’t get me wrong.” The Spiritfarer takes a long, deep breath to try and calm herself down and dries her cheeks of tears. “This is probably one of the kindest things you’ve done for me. I just, I need to be alone for a bit. Need to keep myself busy, do something. You understand, right?”

There’s a long silence as The Spiritfarer tries to dust off her hat, but then resides herself to wearing it despite the filth. Exhaustion weighs down on her shoulders from all of the emotion and talking she just went through, it would definitely make things harder when she gets to fixing up the ship. 

‘Actually, it is somewhat strange.’ Stella thinks, looking down at a palm. ‘When was the last time I felt like this?’

“...yeah Stella, I understand.” The shadow of Gwen’s horns disappear behind the points of Stella’s hat. The Spiritfarer smiles as she holds her hands against her chest.

“ Thank you Gwen. I’m sorry for inconveniencing you.” 

“No, I’m sorry.” The horns re-emerge as the shadow stomps away from Stella’s, fierce clacks against the floor slicing through the silence. “For not doing this sooner.”

“Gwen? What do you--”

WHOOM

Stella stumbles and needs to put a hand on the wall as the room suddenly jolts hard. She knew this feeling, she had experienced it several times. But the only time that happened was--

Stella finally notices the lack of sound. The projector was off. 

“Stella, I’m putting you on mandatory leave.” 

The girl whips her head around so fast that she needs to hold her hat to make sure it doesn’t fall off again. Her eyes reflexively close as the golden light pours into her eyes, but she’s still able to see it clearly. 

Standing firm yet unbalanced next to the empty glass bowl, Gwen holds the Everlight in her paws.

“Gwen.” Stella’s eyes go wide. “What are you doing?”

“Until you take some time to rest and have a proper meal I’m putting you on time-out. A-and I’ll be taking this to make sure you do!” 

“Gwen, please. Give that back.” A bottomless pit opens up directly behind Stella, threatening to swallow her whole.

“No Stella. I won’t.”

Stella lunges forward towards Gwen to try and snag the orb out of her hands and away from the abyss. The deer stumbles as she tries to dodge and falls to the ground but keeps her grip tight on the orb. 

“Give it back, please!!” Stella pleads, kneeling down and trying to force it out of her friend’s hands. The deer goes to her elbows and knees and holds it underneath her as prying hands try to reach through and snatch it back. The physical contact sends a jolt of adrenaline through her, like roughhousing when the two of them were kids. Well, if they were roughing it out then it was time to play the part!

Gwen plants a hoof on the floor and forces her body upwards and backwards, bucking Stella off of her and sending the girl tumbling to the floor. Barely wasting a second she rushes to the door, peeking back to watch her scrambling up with a look of desperate determination on her face. Gwen holds up the Everlight, her mouth cracking into a smile, messy and invigorated.

“You want this back so bad?! Come and get it!! ” 

With those words Gwen sprints out the door with her best friend chasing right behind, both running faster than they have in years into the salty, pure-white light of the outside.

Notes:

I'm writing this fic for a college assignment, so the final chapter should hopefully be posted soon! Have a nice rest of your day y'all!! <3

Chapter 4: Keepaway!!

Summary:

Seven spirits versus one Spiritfarer. Shouldn't be too hard, right?

Notes:

IT'S DONE IT'S DONE IT'S DONE IT'S FINALLY DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEE!!!!!
I have literally been waiting to write this chapter for MONTHS!!!! This was the core concept of the fic at first, and even was planned to stand alone! But even if this chapter could stand by itself, I still wanted to do the leadup and explore these characters' relationships more.

There's still going to be a small epilogue chapter after this (because god has cursed me for my hubris and my work is never finished), but this was a blast to write, imagining the unique ways that all the characters interacted with one another.

I hope you all enjoy!! Epilogue should hopefully be posted sometime in the next few weeks!!

The ferry of the dead chugs along through the spirit world’s open waters, fast enough to where meeting deadlines is manageable but slow enough for its passengers to enjoy the view. Many of its passengers have taken time before to sit upon the deck and watch the waves slosh against the lower boat or observe the various island drift across the horizon. With the cool ocean breeze combined with the warm sunlight beaming down, today seemed like the perfect day to take part in sightseeing. 

But today is not one of those days. 

“Heeeeeyyyy!! Don’t bring in the boat!!!!” Atul yells at the front of the boat, hopping up and down while waving his flippers. The figurehead creaked a bit as he did so under the weight of his tummy, but this was the best way to get Albert’s attention. “We’re not coming in!!! Don’t get ready!!!”

“MISTER SHAAAARK!!! HIIIII!!!” Stanley is perched on Atul’s shoulders as he waves all four of his mud-caked arms like a wind turbine, his voice booming much louder than of the older frog’s. His red-capped head was a much better signal to make out compared to Atul’s cool blue colors. “WE’RE GONNA PLAY WITH STELLA IN A BIT, YOU CAN TAKE A NAP IF YOU WANT!!!”

Despite both of their yellings, the two could still spot the cranes shifting around, preparing for the incoming work. Albert can be seen as a small dot from this distance, but simply waves back and walks over to one of the other cranes and talks to one of his workers. It seems like the shark is just as eager to get to work as Stella. The frog groans, both from annoyance and also because Stanley’s all-or-nothing yelling was getting to him.

“Uncle Frog!! Can’t you jump all the way over there and tell him to stop? Maybe swim?” Stanley bends himself forward to meet Atul in the eyes, upside down. 

“No can do for that, sport.” Atul shrugs, making the child bounce a bit. “I may be a good jumper, but I doubt that I can out-swim a boat.”

“But what if, what if you did a SUPER jump? Like you get a running start across the boat and then, WOOSH!! ” Stanley extends all his arms forward like a rocket punch, causing him to shift his balance backwards and flail his arms to save himself. Atul quickly backtracks and leans back with him to balance the mushroom boy, stepping off the prow and back onto stable footing. 

“I would if I could, believe me. But this frog has his limits.” He pats his belly like a drum. “Besides, our main focus here is Stella and making sure she takes her break. If Gwen manages to talk her down, then we all need to be here for her when it happens.”

“Oooh, yeah I understand. But still, what’s taking so long? ” Stanley grumbles and folds both sets of arms. 

“Not sure, I’m starting to get worried too…” Atul lets out a nervous croak and looks back to the captain’s cabin. “...might be a good idea to check, huh? Hold on!”

Atul starts hopping and bounding his way across the ship with Stanley holding onto his shoulders while he rides. The child lets out a little “ yeehaw!” along the way as they leap up to the upper deck and jump from platform to platform. Even despite the circumstances of his being here, Atul did have to admit that this new form was a lot of fun to walk around in. 

The uncle and child continue until they get to the platforms right above the captain’s cabin, with several of the other passengers peering down in anticipation. Save for the Spiritfarer herself and Gwen, the rest of the crew all stand together peering down onto the captain’s cabin from the second floor with bated breaths. They let Gwen go ahead to discuss plans for what to do when they got the Everlight away from Stella, but when the ten minute mark had passed and they could practically see Albert preparing for their arrival, they flocked as close as they could to wait and hope.

“Can any of you hear them?” Alice fiddles with her paws in an anxious fit. The needles on her back have been flaring up each passing second. “The waves are too loud, I don’t know what they’re saying.”

“Unfortunately, no.” Astrid shakes her head with a paw on her shoulder. A few of the quills have tangled themselves in her grey-ish purple fur. “It’s rather unfair, I’m a cat of all things in this world and I don’t even get to have their hearing.”

“If it makes you feel any better my dear, we’re all on the same boat for that!” Giovanni roars with laughter for a moment, before subsequently being elbowed in the gut by Astrid. He pushes back his mane and takes in a deep breath before pointing his snout upwards. “Ayy, Picassowl! Any chance you could fly closer and hear what they’re saying?”

“Falcon, good sir!” Gustav huffs from the floor above, eyes trained on the captain’s cabin while his talons clasp at the edge. A strong spray of ocean mist comes by and wettens his crimson feathers, so he quickly shakes himself and smooths them out once again. “And I don’t feel that would be wise, Madame Gwenifer’s expression often sours in my presence for whatever reason, and I do not want to risk Skipper getting the wrong idea should she see me.”

“ Gee, I wonder why.” Astrid whispers to herself. She finally notices the two boys behind her and turns around clasping both paws tightly. “Any luck?”

“Unfortunately no. I knew sharks were always determined folks but this is a bit much.” Atul picks up Stanley from his shoulders and places him down on the ground. 

“It is quite admirable, for sure! If only it wasn’t today of all days that he would be on duty.” Alice peeks out from behind Astrid, trying to calm herself by combing her little claws through the lynx’s fur. “Perhaps after Gwen convinces Stella to take a break we could go over and do the same with him.”

“Nah, I don’t think that’ll work on him. The man has his break whenever ships are out and about and not filling up a queue, so he’ll be raring to go.” Giovanni stretches his arms, raising his elbows over his head.

“So it’s up to Gwen then…” Astrid combs through her stomach fur to pull out a few of Alice’s quills. “Ough, I hate feeling like this, being unable to do anything. I’m more to the liking of bursting in and demanding action, but it’s much harder now that it’s Stella.”

“YEAH!! So why don’t we like, go in there after her? If Gwen wants to steal the Evuh… Eve, evur-- ”

“Everlight.”

“EVERLIGHT! Then wouldn’t she need a team? Like capture the flag!” Stanley climbs up the nearby ladder to hang off of, dangling his feet as he sits on a rung. 

“You got a point there kiddo!” Giovanni ruffles the top of Stanley’s cap in place of hair. “If our goal is to just get Stella to take a break, maybe little toadstool here could play ninja and sneak in!”

“Oooh yeah yeah yeah! I’ve been practicing, look!” Stanley climbs a little higher on the ladder and then hangs from his legs, using one set of his arms like a scarf to hide his face while the other set does some sort of hand sign. Gustav has a flash of inspiration and does the same from the upper deck, obscuring himself with his wings.

“No no no, we want to reason with Stella, not force her!” Astrid crosses her arms and stomps a paw. “You saw how she’s been ever since Summer’s passing, if the poor dear feels even more stressed then I’m scared she’ll have a panic attack!”

“There is a chance that the lass won’t listen to her friend, however.” Gustav uncloaks himself. “There’s a spark in that girl’s eyes, whatever she wants done she’ll see it through to the end. If that happens, taking it might be our only option.

“That’s…. True.” Astrid’s grip on her arms loosens, looking down towards the water. “But Gwen is one of the more reasonable ones out of us here for Stella, I’m sure that everything will--”

WHOOM

The boat suddenly jolts to a stop and both Gustav and Stanley fumble and slip. Atul catches Stanley, Giovanni catches Gustav (though immediately drops him after as his feathers ruffle through his mane). 

“The boat stopped?” Alice asks.

“Does that mean Gwen did it then?” A smile breaks across Atul’s face. “That’s great! Let’s go down and--”

“GIVE IT BACK! PLEASE!!”

The yell is clear for everyone to hear and they turn their heads to the captain’s cabin. Sounds of fumbling and scrambling could be heard inside, something of a tussle. After another yell that they couldn’t discern the next thing they see is Gwen sprinting out of the captain’s quarters with Stella close behind! 

“Gwen?! What’s going--”

“Uncle Frog, look!!” Stanley furiously points down at the deer as she runs. Clasped tightly in her paws is a bright glowing orb, and around Stella’s belt buckle her’s is missing.

“She stole the Everlight?!” Astrid screams.

“Atta’ girl!!” Giovanni pumps a fist. 

“Ough, Stella is rather fast though! You saw how she zips around the boat!” Alice tugs on her sunhat. “None of us are that fast!”

“That may be true, but without the Everlight she’s no more athletic than the rest of us!” Gustav declares.

“Well come on, what’re we waiting for?!” Stanley pumps all four fists and hops down from Atul’s grasp, running off to follow. The frog nods confidently then turns back to the rest of the crew. 

“Everyone, the plan is still the same! Keep that Everlight away from Sprout! C’mon!!” He waves a flipper and runs after the three. Giovanni picks up Alice and places her on his shoulder for a ride, Gustav flaps his wings and flies around and Astrid runs along behind. 

Seven spirits versus one Spiritfarer. Shouldn’t be too hard, right?

CLOP CLOP CLOP CLOP 

Gwen’s hooves slam against the boat as the sea breeze whisps through her fur. Each of her strides are as wide as they can be, at least while she’s doing the equivalent of running in heels. Despite how often she tried to keep up the fancy front running full speed in a chase like this felt almost freeing, liberating even!

At least it would if her lungs weren’t screaming at her from the sudden exercise. 

The sound of much faster approaching footsteps makes her look back and--yep, Stella was gaining ground fast! Even if Gwen tried to run even faster she’s sure that she’d collapse before she could even make it to the other end of the boat.

The deer looks down at the Everlight. Maybe she could throw it into the ocean? No that’d be a terrible idea, she doesn’t know if they could get it back or not. Even still there was no outrunning Stella, abilities or not she was always more athletic. 

A bolt of realization hits Gwen--she has the Everlight! If Stella could do all those fancy tricks, why couldn’t she?!

‘Well, only one way to find out!’ Gwen kneels down low then--for probably the first time in years--jumps for the upper deck! Around what feels like the apex of her arc she kicks her legs again and holds the Everlight up in the air…

Then promptly falls flat onto the deck. 

“Ow… I think I chipped a horn… ”

Behind her the Spiritfarer stops and gasps, instinctively worried for her friend. Although the pause isn’t for long Gwen’s thoughts race through her head.

‘Why didn’t it work?! I’ve seen her do that move hundreds of times, why can’t I do it?!’ The thief pushes herself up, panting heavily. ‘Does it depend on the person using it? Is it a certain gesture?!’

Gwen casts her mind back to all the times Stella used the Everlight. Double jumps, ziplining, getting food-- ’Right, food!! I’ve seen that before!!’

From her spot on the ground Gwen swipes two fingers against the surface, but nothing happens. Up, down, left and right, pressing her fingers against and through the surface, but no interface appears.

“Uuuuh, blankets? Wool blankets?? Coffee??! Come on you stupid thing!!!” Gwen violently shakes the Everlight against the floor like a cookie jar. It doesn’t last for long though as she notices the star-shaped shadow looming over her.

“Gwen PLEASE, give it back!!!” Stella drops down to her knees and tries to snatch the orb of light back but Gwen spins to her side away from her, trying any motion she can think of to get it out. 

“If-if you give it back then I’ll treat you to the BEST restaurants in the spirit world! I know there’s that one you really liked at Hummingberg with the crepes, we could go! Just the two of us!” Despite her trying to shove Gwen out of the way and grabbing for the Everlight, Stella’s voice still had an apologetic tone. Even still the deer hugs the Everlight tight against her chest.

“You don’t even like crepes,” Gwen mutters while her hand is pressed firmly against the orb to where it feels like it’s going inside, “you like pancakes! So don’t force yourself to eat them for me--!!”

SCHLAP

The pressure on Gwen suddenly lifts and she can hear a THUMP right behind her. She had reflexively brought a paw up towards Stella to shove back, but it didn’t connect. Yet for some reason she had laid off?

The deer peeks back to the Spiritfarer, now on the ground. A golden fluffy pancake slapped onto her face.

“.....huh?”

Stella’s one eye still uncovered blinks and she raises a hand to peel it off. It’s still warm, but not so hot to where it burned her face. Coating its surface was maple syrup with a few bits of residue still on her face. Had it just appeared? Did someone throw it onto her?

“Deer face, the--the thingie!!!” From the upper deck Stanley yells down, pointing at the Everlight. Both heads whip towards the orb, eyes widening in surprise. Although before it was still a pure orb it now had the appearance of… 

“A coin purse?” It was the same weight, Gwen quickly realized, and similar to one she used to carry when she was alive. Fits right into the palm of her hand without any trouble. The pouch was slightly open revealing a more dim void within it. 

Stella finally breaks out of her stupor from being slapped by breakfast food and tosses the pancake aside, trying to make another break for the Everlight. 

“UUuuuh!! I’m sorry!!” Gwen shoots upwards and digs through the coin purse, reaching her arm deep into the bottomless depths. There’s still syrup dripping down her cheek so Gwen feels around and clasps her hand around something solid. Stella just a second away, Gwen backs up and pulls her arm out throwing something at her assailant!

SPLASH

Freezing water washes over Stella’s face and she yelps from shock! Ice cubes and a plastic cup clatter against the wood and her face twists into a grimace from the shock.

“Shit!! Sorry Stella, um--here!!” Gwen yells and reaches back into the coin purse and feels around once again, snagging something soft. The Spiritfarer barely has time to react before a facefull of wool fabric is thrown in her face. Then linen, then nebula--one after another Gwen reaches in and tosses out a blanket to bury Stella underneath a pile of plush! All that’s left of her is two arms flailing about to get out.

“ Mmrrmph! Gwnnn!!”  

“Sorry Stells, this is for your own good!” The coin purse snaps shut and transforms back into an orb. Gwen smiles and turns around to the ladder, ready to climb back up to meet the rest but stops just short, going into a coughing fit. Now that the excitement was calming down, her recent fumble and the 50 meter sprint finally caught up to her. 

‘Shit… I shouldn’t have smoked so much…’

“Gwen, up here!!” A voice yells directly above the deer. Atul reaches down a webbed hand. Far too high to jump and hand it off, but close enough to throw to. 

With a grunt the Spiritfarer finally unearths herself from the tomb of fabrics (with a pink blanket still wrapped around her neck) and begins to wade out and resume the chase. She’s just in time to witness Gwen, with all the grace of a little league baseball player, chuck the Everlight up to the second deck and Atul catches it!

“Sorry Sprout, it’s about time I gave this a test run!” Atul bounds away with Stanley, leaving Stella to grumble and scramble upwards after them. Gwen sits down and watches them go, still coughing but doing so with a satisfied smile.

As the Spiritfarer reaches the top of the ladder there’s a bright shimmer of golden light and a loud screEECH sound, like someone is forcing something across the floor. The brim of her star sunhat is pulled down to protect her eyes but when she lifts it back up, Atul has completely blocked the path forward! His work desk was pulled back out onto the platform to face her. Right behind the desk is Atul and Stanley, and right behind them is a large golden pantry. 

“Welcome to Chateau Croak n’ Caps” The two present in a flourish. Atul had managed to find a chef’s hat and Stanley drew a mustache on his face “You look completely famished Sprout, lemme fix something up for ya!” 

The frog and mushroom turn around and throw the pantry wide, showing off a giant collection of plates and dishes that have been stored in the Everlight for later use. A wave of tantalizing aromas are carried out and nearly overwhelm Stella with how good it all is, but she covers her nose with the blanket still around her face and marches forward.

“Atul I really need the Everlight back, I still have lots of stuff to do!” Stella tries to explain as she paces a bit. “I still need to prepare some supplies before we get to Albert’s! I gotta chop some wood to replace the splintered ones, smelt some metal for the new figurehead, make some glass for the new building--there’s still a lot I gotta do!”

“Well then, it’s a good thing we’re not going to Albert’s today!” He peeks back with a smile as he rifles through the wide selection of meals. “We can put a pin in that for, say, next week!”

“Next week ?? You were always the one who said to ‘ get jobs done now to relax later’ when we were alive!”

“And that didn’t end well for me, did it? Let’s see here, ah! Here we go!” The frog pulls out several dishes stacked along his arms and head, completely ignoring Stella’s bargain as he spreads them out along his desk. “We got mushroom salad as a primer, coming right up to eggs and bacon! If you’re looking for something on the sweeter side we got some mixed berry waffles, collected from the various isles of the spirit world~”

“Uncle I’m not too hungry, if you could-”

“But let’s say you’re looking for the lunch side of brunch, not to worry! We got a delectable bit of grilled cheese with it still warm and gooey, even tomato soup for dipping sauce!”

It becomes clear that her uncle wouldn’t be listening to reason, so she redirects her focus to the boy. “Stanley, I can make you captain for a whole WEEK if you give me the Everlight! Anywhere you wanna go, anything you wanna do, all up to you! I can even make you your own captain’s hat like mine--”

Stanley hops up and SLAMS some plates of nauseatingly sweet desserts in front of Stella, blocking out any pleas she might give. “Whichever one you pick we got a’ perfect way to round it out! I baked some chocolate chip muffins, chocolate chip pancakes, chocolate chip banana bread and chocolate pie!! (The secret ingredient is chocolate~)”

Stella needs to step back as she looks at all of the plates of food across the table, suitable to be a feast for a king! Her stomach rumbles just at the sight of it all and her lip quivers. When was the last time she ate a full meal instead of a small snack in between projects? She needed the Everlight, but there was no solid way forward without accidentally knocking her uncle’s offerings off! Even if she was desperate she didn’t want to make a mess.

“Both of you, this looks really, really good but I’m honestly good right now! So if you could just…” She tries to reach past both of them towards the pantry, but something warm and crispy is shoved into her mouth. 

“Nota’ until you tried our grill a’ cheese!” 

“Everlight or not, it’s always been my specialty!”

As hard as she may try Stella’s body betrays her and she takes a bite. The bread is just the right amount of buttery and crispy, cheese so gooey it practically melts onto her tongue. It’s just like the kind Atul made for her and Gwen when she was a kid, the kind she always begged him to make when he visited.

‘I… I forgot how this tasted…’

Another bright golden glow snaps her out of her memories: Stanley transformed the Everlight back into its orb form! She tries to reach across with her free hand but Atul body blocks her. All Stella can do is watch as Stanley grabs the orb and tosses it further upwards like a basketball, open for Gustav. The only ladder up to the third level was directly behind them!!

With a groan of frustration Stella stuffs the rest of the grilled cheese in her mouth, swallows, then grabs a bunch of plates to put down onto the side to make sure they don’t spoil. Once the table is clear she hops up onto the wood and leaps up to grab the decking! Atul and Stanley try to grab her but after she kicks herself up, both just resign with a smile and give each other a high five.

Once Stella heaves herself onto the platform she needs to kneel down and take a breather. The spare blanket that’d been around her neck this whole time was slowly becoming a bit more appealing after all the sprinting she’s been doing. With the Everlight it felt like she could go for days at a time without needing to rest, but without it she felt practically naked. She needed that Everlight fast, both to get to work and for her own sake.

Stella begins to push herself, but then nearly falls backwards as a wave of crimson feathers brush by her face. She puts up an arm to shield herself in case another wave of pillows and blankets comes by again, but instead…

“Lovely of you to join us Skipper! You’re just in time for the show!”

“Oooh, I can hardly contain myself!” 

She lowers her arm and peeks out with one eye. Gustav and Alice are each on a separate side of Stella. While Alice is hugging a harmonica and bouncing a bit from excitement, Gustav has a fiddle in hand and a prideful expression and Everlight attached to its tip. 

“Guys, before you do whatever you’re about to do, can you please save it for another time?” Her hand is pressed against her head while the other tries to form motions to help explain. “I still need to tend to the gardens, catch some fish and cook some dinner--Astrid asked earlier for some fried fish and I still haven’t gotten around to giving some to her because I didn’t realize we were out of tuna and--”

“Oh dearie, the two of us can do that for you later!” Alice beams. “You know that cooking isn’t a problem for me, I can handle that easily!”

“Nonononono, that’s completely okay you don’t have to!!” Stella’s eyes go wide and she holds her hands up. “I’m fine doing it on my own, I don’t want any of you guys to have to do my work for me!”

“Hush now Skipper, that matter can be saved for another time!” Gustav pipes up. “The two of us have been practicing a duet together on account of our musical affinity. While it’s already come along beautifully--”

“We saw how you play music with your little tool and thought it would help make it sound even more beautiful!” 

“It was originally called ‘Symphony of Starlight, second verse in E-minor,’ though after further thought I decided to take Miss Alison’s suggestion.” 

Both raise their instruments in preparation. 

“I thought it’d be nice to rename it, ‘An Ode to Stella!’ ”

The young woman blinks and for a moment is completely speechless. “For… me?”

“Come now then, not a moment to spare!” Gustav taps on his instrument to set the tempo that they’d be working at, the Everlight slowly morphing around the bow to give it a golden sheen, then he presses it against the strings and lets in the flowing music.

Gustav has always been a talented violinist, his harmonic playing giving the sense that the music itself was dancing. Yet with the Everlight imbuing him with its power it seemed to gain an otherworldly feel, echoing around them like a symphony; a flow that the falcon controlled to morph the world around him. The jovial tune takes the three of them up and Gustav leads as he ballroom-dances around the deck, his instrument his partner. 

Despite the stirring feeling in Stella’s chest at having been gifted a song, she tries to shake it off and regain focus, dancing alongside Gustav. 

“Gustav I really appreciate the song, it’s very beautiful! I’ll be honest, I love all the art and music you do, it’s all really inspiring!” The Spiritfarer points with a finger and a grin, a drop of sweat sliding down her temple. “So! If you give me the Everlight, I’ll give you permission to use the ENTIRE boat as an exhibit for the spirit world! Think, the biggest exhibit you’ve ever had for the whole world to see!As long as you don’t mess with people’s cabins of course.”

“Hmm, you drive a hard bargain Skipper,” he peeks with a single eye as they spin together, “but the work I’m taking part in is suitable enough for my current lodgings! Now then, my verse is just about finished! You’re on my dear!”

Stella reaches out an arm once again but Gustav slings the Everlight from his instrument over in Alice’s direction! The hedgehog catches it by holding up her harmonica, the light colliding with metal and once again imbuing the instrument, and she brings it to her lips to play and match Gustav’s lead. While the violin echoed and manipulated the push and pull of flow, the higher pitched and rapid notes make the wind whistle, picking up her notes and having them swirl around them. Hearing Alice play was a rare occasion, but hearing her now it feels like she’s keeping pace with her partner.

The melodic wind nearly turns Stella around and sweeps her off her feet, but she manages to stay grounded and run up to Alice. 

“Alice, love your playing, it’s some of the best I’ve ever heard!” The Spiritfarer smiles with a clear paint of desperation. “And I know I don’t ask for much from you. But I could really use my Everlight back!! I could, uh, buy you as many of those Hungarian romance novels as you want?”

“Oh dearie, don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt someone as they’re playing a song?” Alice gives Stella a loving smile regardless, then brings the bar back up and gives a strong TOOT , shooting the Everlight back over to Gustav. 

This continues for quite a bit longer, the three taking part in a bizarre dance while playing a game of pickle. As the push and pull of Gustav’s violin echoes around the three, Alice’s gusty notes twirl and dance along with them like a small echo-chamber. All the while the falcon and hedgehog doublestep in tempo and Stella does her best to follow along. She stamps her feet in time with Gustav’s tapping talons, moving her arms along with Alice’s second wind and tries her best to ride the waves of their notes to regain her purpose. 

Passing the halfway mark of the song Alice slings the orb back to the violinist Stella jumps to try and snag it back, but is soon dragged back down by the hedgehog as she takes both of Stella’s hands in her paws, leading her along as Gustav begins his solo with an invigorating flurry of notes. The two twirl and spin along the upper deck, both of them needing to grab hold of their hats to ensure they don’t get swept away. 

‘When was the last time I danced?’ Stella thinks, Alice hopping up to spin Stella around, both giggling a little. ‘Was it at that club Gwen and I snuck into? Or my honeymoon?’

Although for a moment a twinge of pain comes back at the memory of her marriage, the whistling wind sweeps it away before it can dwell any further. The two women spin held together by each other’s hands.

‘How long ago was that? Years, decades?’ A laugh escapes Stella’s lips. ‘I haven’t been able to keep track of time well since the hospital. I never got the time before because of all the work I had to do.’

Work.

The Spiritfarer’s heart nearly stops as she realizes what she’s doing. Gustav’s solo was nearing its end but Stella lets go of Alice and sends her spinning back towards Gustav’s gallery. Her eyes shoot back to the falcon who just finished the last note in his solo and is taking his bow, a single wing slinking behind his back. Immediately the Spiritfarer rushes him and grabs the violin from his wings drawing out an offended gasp. The Everlight isn’t attached to it.

Pounding footsteps are heard behind Gustav. Stella’s head shoots out to the side and she spots Giovanni sprinting off holding the Everlight in his paws. He hops from platform to platform, looking back and giving a cocky smirk.

“God damn it!!”

Stella shoves the violin back into his wings and sprints after the lion, cursing at herself for getting caught up again and forgetting her duties. She leaps after Giovanni from platform to platform suspended over three stories of boat. However comfy this blanket might be, however delicious that grilled cheese was, however touched she was by the song, her responsibilities come first. She couldn’t afford to be selfish anymore.

Using an umbrella to hop to a high up platform Stella grunts and yanks herself up, wheezing at all the exercise. She can see Giovanni hunched over with Astrid a bit past him. With a large huff she forces her body to stand up and marches over. There isn’t anywhere else for them to run, the platforms stop here. 

The Spiritfarer stomps up and places a paw on Giovanni’s shoulder. “Giovanni, listen to me --”

“Oh bambina you look like you’ve been through the wringer!” The lion suddenly turns around with his arms outstretched, a bunch of sparkling things along his paws and arms and nearly blinding Stella. “Here, I have a few gifts I’ve been meaning to give you.”

“Gio, I’ll make you an entire feast of whatever you want!”

Giovanni lifts up her hat and drapes an amethyst necklace around her neck. “To give a bit of pop to the yellow!”

“For both you AND Astrid!”

He fastens a ruby-flower brooch to her hat then places it back on her head. “Might as well give this some weight to make sure it doesn’t go flying off.”

“I’ll give you the WHOLE boat for an ENTIRE day!!”

He grabs her wrist and slips on an emerald bracelet. “I must say peanut you’re one of the few people I’ve seen make green work!”

“THREE days!!!”

“And to top it all off,” he paws a few multicolored rings and decorates her hand, “to help bring out your eyes and impress anyone you have your eyes on~”

“Damnit Giovanni why aren’t you listening to me?! ” She pushes herself away from the lion with her eyebrows furrowed hard. “And why are you giving me these anyways?!”

“Oh I’ve been listening loud and clear Stella! I just wanted to give you what you deserve! We all do!” He presents the rest of the jewelry he has on hand, looking to find what else he could give. 

“But I didn’t ask for them!!”

“If a person asks for a gift, is it really a gift anymore~?” He settles on golden hoop rings and shows them off to her. “You want it?” 

“NO!!” Stella swats away the pair and they fall down to the main deck. Giovanni looks down to where they land then back to her.

“...well that wasn’t very nice.”

Stella brings her hat over her face and muffled screams come out from it. “I’m sorry!!! Just, PLEASE give me the Everlight!! I saw that you have it!”

“ I have the Everlight? Whatever do you mean~?” He cocks an eyebrow. 

“I just SAW you with it!! It’s where you got all these from--” Stella stops, actually taking a chance to inspect Giovanni closer. Despite all of the shimmer and sparkle from the jewelry, the orb was nowhere to be found. She peeks around to his back, but nothing’s there.

Astrid isn’t there either. 

“I’m many things Peanut, but I’m not a liar~”

Stella shoves past him and looks down. It’s a significant drop, but down below is Astrid, unfastening a golden harness from around her body and dusting herself off. Immediately to Stella’s right is a zipline pole. 

“Stupid, stupid stupid stupid Stella!!!” She throws her head back grasping at her face in anger. She feels a paw land on her shoulder.

“C’mon Stella, this game of cat and mouse has been fun, but I think you should take a breather! You’ll give yourself gray hairs if you keep stressing like this!” Giovanni’s voice was singsong as if he didn’t have a care in the world. 

“ You don’t understand.” Stella’s hands tremble not from anger but anxiety. “All I want is to take care of everyone, to make sure nobody has to be alone! Is that so wrong?”

“Hm, on any other day I might agree with you Peanut.” Gustav sounds like he’s genuinely considering. “Yet just a little bit ago, were you not the one who locked herself in her cabin to cry?”

“I--I didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to comfort me. If they saw me crying, then they’d feel like they have to talk with me.”

“And yet you still isolated yourself, breaking the rule you just explained, correct? What exactly makes you the exception to the rule?”

If they had heartbeats in the afterlife Stella’s would be pounding like a drum. “I--I didn’t want to…”

“I’m sorry to break it to you Stella, but a fancy glowing ball doesn’t make you any more important than the rest of us.” Giovanni leans down to get direct eye contact with the Spiritfarer. “Everyone here is the same amount of special. Astrid, Stanley, Alice, me, even you~”

The Spiritfarer breaks away from the lion and runs into Astrid’s cottage, sprinting towards the closet. Her brain is buzzing, she couldn’t bear just standing around and talking. Every second up here is a second not working and a second wasted. No more being lazy. No more being selfish.

Both of the cats barely wear anything (though there are a few bow ties with purple fur strands), so she grabs one of the wooden hangers and sprints back outside. As she places the hook on the wire Giovanni just stands back with his arms crossed and an amused smile. There’s a moment of hesitation within Stella as she looks down at the immense distance, now without the Everlight to protect herself. But Astrid was at the bottom, staring down at the Everlight. If she could grab it before she hit then she’d be safe. 

All she has to do is grab the Everlight. Then everything would be okay. 

‘Everything will be okay.’

Stella hops down from the platform and zooms downwards. Squealing sounds emit from the wire against wood sliding against each other, wind blasts into the woman’s face and her hat goes flying away leaving her hair exposed to the wind. With a few seconds from impact she grits her teeth and holds out an arm to try and grab the orb from her hands. 

‘Just grab the Everlight and it’ll be okay. Just grab the Everlight, just grab it just grab it grab it grab it grab it--!!’

Astrid turns around and steps directly in front of Stella’s flight path, stance and arms held out wide. 

Panic surges through the Spiritfarer and she tries to think of some way to not collide, but her mind can’t think faster than she’s falling. The young woman’s body SLAMS into the old lynx’s soft and fluffy fur, both wheezing from the impact but neither terribly harmed. Before she even has the chance to get away Astrid wraps her arms around Stella as tight as she can possibly hug, burying the Spiritfarer’s face in her chest. 

“Woof, I’m definitely not cut out for these shenanigans you like so much munchkin.”

The Spiritfarer wriggles and struggles in the lynx’s iron grip to try and release herself from this fluffy prison. She grunts as she thrashes with all her might to no avail, the rest of the spirits showing up one by one as her muffled grunts and cries come out, along with a choked sob.

“Please, please give me back the Everlight!” Astrid feels little teardrops wetten her chest fur. “I’ll give you anything you want, I-I need it!! I need to take care of you all! ”

Astrid presses a cheek against Stella’s forehead, her grip loosening ever so slightly.

“Oh munchkin… You’ve been holding onto so much…” Astrid’s voice is gentle and soft, reverberating throughout her body. “You’ve kept all of this inside, just for us lost souls from nowhere. We don’t deserve you.”

Atul joins the hug on Stella’s side, while Stanley squeezes his way in to get right up next to his friend. 

“Please… I-I need to take care of you guys, I want you guys to be happy…” Stella chokes out while still trying to escape. But all of the running, the dancing, the food, the blanket, the emotion; it’s finally starting to weigh her down. 

“We are happy Stella. All of us are, every second that you’re in our lives.” Atul croaks.

“Every day with you is like, the ultimate playdate! Even when I’m not the best at ship duties, you’re still forgiving and waiting for me. I’ve never had a friend like you before Stella, and no matter what happens you’re still gonna be my friend!” Stanley wraps all four arms around her legs tight.

“But I-I’m the Spiritfarer…” Alice and Gustav glide down from the upper balcony and take Stella’s other side. “ I-I don’t want any of you to get hurt!”

“We’re probably going to get hurt no matter what happens dearie, that’s just life. But you just being here Stella, helping us when we’re tired and staying by our side, it helps more than you’ll ever know.” Alice presses her snout against Stella’s back.

“A title as grandiose as yours is impressive, yes, but the Everlight is not why we joined your vessel. It’s because of you, Stella. Your heart and the kindness you’ve given us is grander than any art piece I could make.” Gustav’s crimson feathers act like a blanket against her back. 

“But--but I--” Stella chokes, the last of her strength having fizzled out as the corners of her eyes sting. Giovanni trots up and pats Stella’s shoulder. 

“Jeez Stella, learn to take a hint already~” His voice is in the same teasing tone, but his paw tightens a bit around her shoulder. “We appreciate all the help you’ve done for us, but we’re our own people too. We can take care of ourselves from time to time, you know?”

“What happened with Summer is tragic, but you did the best anyone could do. You honored her wish and she got to spend more time with her favorite student.” Astrid purs. “She was happy in her last few days, Stella. Happy that she got to see you smile even just one last time.”

The Spiritfarer’s voice cracks and whimpers, desperately searching for any sort of rebuttal that doesn’t get caught in her throat. She’s doing everything she can to keep herself together, keep herself from crying and being an even further burden to these loving and kind people. To not be selfish and drag them down lower. 

“Please… I need, I need…” 

Hooves clop against the wood boards below. The rest of the crew spot her as she approaches and release their hold on the Spiritfarer, letting her slump to her knees. She furiously tries to wipe the tears away from her face and steady her breathing, but to no avail. A large antlered shadow looms overhead, her body feeling like it's coming apart at the seams. 

“Hey Stells.” The shadow diminishes and Gwen kneels down next to her friend. She looks at the deer, her breaths short and hands shaking. Before she can get a good look at her, green fabric obscures her vision and she feels the familiar weight on her head. “You dropped this.”

She lifts the brim back up, staring her best friend in the eyes and witnessing an expression she’s never seen on her before. Sympathy and genuine heartfelt love. 

“G-Gwen… I…”

Gwen throws herself forward and wraps her arms around Stella, hugging as tight as she can. 

“I know I don’t say this much, and I’m sorry for that, but…” Gwen’s voice is just as strained as Stella’s. “I’m glad that I met you Stella. I love you, so, so much.”

Gwen can feel Stella’s hands tremble against her back, but slowly rise a bit higher as the seconds pass. The huffed breathing in her ear turns to choked breaths, then finally releases a sob. Stella clasps her hands around Gwen’s mane and buries her face into her friend’s shoulder, hugging her as tight as she possibly could.

She feels all the decades of regret, sadness and suppressed emotion that has been bottled up push against her eyes. The loss of her best friend and uncle, the grief of her neighbors who met their end far too early, the crippling fear that she would die and be unable to help more people. And now the absence of her beloved teacher. 

As Stella lets out another sob, her mind goes back to that last dinner party where Summer was still healthy. Despite her condition, despite the fact she was in pain, despite the fact that she would need to be rushed to the Everdoor in just a few days, she was still happy. She laughed at jokes Giovanni and Atul made; conversed eagerly with Alice and Gwen about the book they were all reading together; helped Stanley and Astrid draw a picture with broken crayons. Then, when Stella stood up to deliver a toast to everyone about how much she's cherished the times they’ve shared together, the teacher looked to her student with a fond expression.

The young girl finally remembers Summer’s last smile.

And she cries.

Notes:

Thank you everyone so much for reading, I hope you all have a good day!! <3

Chapter 5: Breathe

Summary:

After a long day, everyone finally takes a moment to catch their breaths--then lose them all over again.

Notes:

I'll leave my piece for the end this time. Enjoy this little epilogue chapter.

As the sun traveled through the sky and the shadows of the ferry shifted on the water, Stella continued to cry. She wailed for all that was gained, all that was lost and all that never was meant to be. Perhaps it was due to her being in the Everlight’s glow once again but she found her eyes pouring out decades worth of tears after what felt like ages. But even so when she finished hours later, her body felt weak from exhaustion. As Atul lifted his niece into his arms she did not have enough energy to argue. 

Gustav took the Everlight and sailed the seacraft away from Albert’s shipyard and parked a small distance away from Hummingberg, then left the Everlight in the projector's glass bowl. Atul brought Stella to Astrid’s cabin (spacious enough for all of them to fit) and laid her in Astrid’s queen sized loft. Gwen brought all of the blankets she had thrown at her friend before and bundled her up tightly into a nice and comfortable burrito, allowing Stella a chance to fully appreciate the softness of what she created. Alice also provided her with a small plate of a mushroom salad and a slice of Atul’s grilled cheese. After taking just one bite, she decided it was some of the best food she’s tasted since coming to the afterlife.

Alice and Gwen sat beside Stella and talked about how far they’ve gotten in their most recent book. The deer admitted that it was a little too hokey for her taste, but it was also kinda fun to poke fun at. As she pulled out the book to read off a line for reference she found herself going a tad into the dramatic with her acting. Alice giggled and decided to join in on the fun with some line reading of her own, leading to Stanley and Gustav getting involved despite having never read the story in their own time. The child even ran to his room to grab some cardboard swords and props that he made to add to the flair. 

What started as mutual fun poking fun at the writing soon turned into full on giggling and cheering from Stella as she witnessed a duel between the Crimson Dust Aristocrats and the Snow White Crusaders. Though they did go a little off script as Stanley wielded four swords for each arm and skewed the battle slightly more in his favor. 

When the sky turned golden from the sunset Giovanni and Astrid were finally able to agree on a set of movies to watch, lots of very corny romcoms and obviously bad movies. Both made sure to move it to a better spot for Stella and everyone sat around close to watch alongside her. Atul of course brought some buttered popcorn which he gladly shared.

Despite the lion saying he picked up “bad” movies they were all a joy to watch with everyone together. Gwen and Stella allowed themselves to heckle at the screen when poorly written plot twists were pulled; Astrid and Gustav happily talked about movies that were leagues better than this rubbish; Giovanni and Stanley made a game of I-Spy where they tried to find any production equipment like microphones lying around; and Alice and Atul made comparisons to their own respective spouses and how they fared against these so called “true love” gestures. About halfway through the second drama Stella found herself cackling alongside Gwen, Atul and Giovanni as the characters were suddenly replaced with poorly made mannequins during an action scene and stagehands puppeting them from barely offscreen. 

As the third soap opera ended and Giovanni was swapping it out for the next one, Stanley scooted next to their friend and surprised her with the giant crayon drawn mural that Stanley made for her. Everyone was present, scribbled with the twelve colors that he could get his hands on, along with a small note and signature at the bottom. Summer’s was also present--it seemed she had gotten the chance to do so at the dinner party. 

“To my dear honeybee,
Whether I’m with you or not, I’ll always be proud of you. Thank you for all of the wonderful years together.”
-Summer

Everyone allowed Stella another moment to sob as she hugged the mural close and wrinkled the paper. 

---

Gwen’s eyes drift open as the looping music of the VHS’s title theme becomes a bit more noticeable. She’s slumped up against the wall directly next to Astrid’s bed with her arms wrapped around one of the oversized pillows--complete with a bit of drool. The sky outside is dark and the lights are off with the sole piece of illumination being the cool blue of the TV screen. 

Astrid and Giovanni are snuggled up next to each other on the opposite side of the bed frame.
Gustav has allowed Alice to use his wings as a blanket while they sit in the nearby chair.
Atul is sprawled out along the floor with his belly up in the air, rising and falling with young Stanley doing the same right on top of him. A blanket is draped over the frog’s face, muffling all of the snoring.

‘Thank god.’

She peeks behind her to see how Stella’s doing, but the blankets are sprawled out along the bed without her. Looking around she spots the door to the main deck slightly ajar. As quietly as she can with the clack ing of her hooves Gwen steps around the other spirits and slips outside to the crisp nighttime air. 

Stella’s sitting at the edge of the platform with her hands in her lap and head tilted up at the night sky. Although Hummingberg wasn’t too large it did obscure a bit of the cosmos overhead with its light pollution. Glimmering stars can still be seen however, much more clearly than Gwen ever got the chance to see when she was alive. 

Gwen walks up next to Stella and starts sitting down, making her jump a bit. 

“This seat taken?” There’s a slight smirk on the deer’s face. After a moment’s hesitation Stella just chuckles and smiles back.

“No, I suppose it isn’t.” 

Both of them return their gazes to the stars and relish the bit of time they had together, alone. Their minds go back to Stella’s first few days as Spiritfarer, making do with what little they had--a small boat filled with trash and a rickety couch. Gwen absolutely loathes getting her hands dirty but didn’t want to leave Stella to do work by herself, so both of them did what they could during the day until it was a synonym to the word “clean.” When night fell--despite Stella having her own room--she elected to stay out all night on that old and crusty couch to stare at the clear night sky. 

Gwen didn’t join her then, but it feels nice to catch up on that lost time.

“....you know, it’s kind of bizarre having concrete proof of all this.” Stella continues to stare, kicking her legs.

“I’m assuming you mean us being in the afterlife?”

“Well, yes that. I’ll be honest, I'm not sure what I expected when I passed.”

“Certainly much more optimistic than what I had in mind. Just the inky black void, eternal sleep. It’s surprisingly refreshing, even with the antler shedding.” Gwen rubs the top of her head, silently dreading when she’ll become a doe again.

“But it’s something else. Something that Summer had talked about when we were alive. She said that all of us were made up of stardust, like we’re more energy than flesh.”

“Well I suppose that’s technically true. All of us come from the big bang, so there’s likely a few pieces still in there.”

“When we were doing our lessons, she talked about how when we die, we return to being that sort of energy. In that giant…primordial soup of time.” Stella tries to make hand gestures to get the point across.

“And you’re saying that turned out to be true because…?”

Stella points up at a section of the sky. Although Gwen hadn’t paid much attention to the patterns before there was a splice of the sky that stood out to her, one that she’s certain wasn’t there before. A small cluster of stars all connected by lines of light, forming an elongated snake. While in the living world those constellation lines were implied, here they were clear to see.

“Oh. Wow.”

“It’s fitting, you know? That theory turned out to be right, and now she gets to rest up there looking down on us.”

“I wonder what my constellation will look like.” 

There’s a few beats of silence as both realize what has just been said, though there’s less shock and more acknowledgement hanging in the air.

“.......this whole day still feels unreal. I’m still not sure if I can believe it happened.”

“How so?”

“That you guys were willing to do all of this to cheer me up. Going out of your way to do all this for me. It’s honestly one of the best days I’ve ever had, in life and death. And I know I shouldn’t but, I still feel a little guilty about it.”

“Guilty. This is coming from the person who was willing to go to 5th base with the boat deck in order to get back a golden ping pong ball.”

“ Har har har.” Stella rolls her head along with her eyes. “But I mean, accepting all of this stuff and spending time with you all. Stanley’s like a little brother to everyone, Gustav is like a weird cousin, Gio and Astrid are like our grandparents, Atul is--well you know--and you’re…”

“An older sister? A potential romantic subplot?” Gwen leans back with that same sly smirk. 

“Heh, we’ll have to wait a few chapters to see how that turns out.” Stella waves with a hand, but then brings up a knee to rest her chin on. “But what I’m trying to say here is you all mean a lot to me. I haven’t had this many people who care for me like this since we were kids. And I think that is what I’m worried about the most here. Because…”

The Spiritfarer looks down to the captain’s cabin where the glow of the Everlight can still be seen through the cracks of the window blinds. The frills on Gwen’s face lower a bit as she nods.

It wouldn’t be a lie to say that she had been considering it herself a few days after Summer passed. Heck, probably some time before that too. She had witnessed her family’s old abandoned home, thought about her shitty parents and who she was. When Stella--teary eyed and panicked--found Gwen after she ran away, the deer thought she was ready to leave. But seeing the worry and care the other spirits gave her that feeling wavered. There was that sense of knowing on the boat that even with how good everyone was getting along together, one day they would simply not be there anymore. The spirit in question would ask Stella to take them around to the Everdoor for whatever reason they had of their own volition and then, that would be it. Someone they knew and loved, gone. And they would have chosen it for themselves.

Gwen brings her legs back up and crosses them while starring alongside Stella at the golden glow. Even now that feeling is still present and Gwen is aware of its being there, like a small clump of thread tangling up and growing bigger. Not uncomfortable, not dreading or fearful, just there. So how much longer until that call is heeded?

“I think…” Gwen looks back out to the sea. “Just because that’ll happen one day, you shouldn’t worry about getting attached or anything like that.” 

Stella doesn’t say anything and just peeks over at her, both arms resting on both knees and acting as a headrest. 

“Your job as the Spiritfarer is important, yeah. You care for everyone and try to help them feel comfortable, then one day they’re going to leave. But getting close to them personally, being not just a guide but a friend, that helps them too. That Stanley kid sure seems a lot happier with you playing around with him than if you just acted like a babysitter that’s for sure. This isn’t just the job Stells, it’s who you are. If they feel like staying around a bit longer because of that, who’s to stop them?”

“...I just don’t want to do all that again.” Stella mutters. “Going all crazy like that and getting depressed every time someone leaves. Interventions are meant to be one time deals ya know? Plus I don’t want you to have to sprint like that again with your lungs.”

“So your plan is to not care about them as much? Who are you and what have you done with Stella?”

A tiny glint of a smile shows on Stella’s face.

“Look, just because one day everyone here will pass on, there’s nothing wrong with spending time with them now. Yes, seeing them go will hurt, that’s just how things are. But you of all people should know that however long a person would be around for doesn’t invalidate the time you share with them. Besides, you of all people deserve to have some fun with everyone here. After the life you’ve lived, I feel your second should be a bit better. Don’t you think so?” Gwen looks at Stella with a sympathetic smile.

Stella is still staring at Gwen as she talks, but when she’s finished the girl looks back out to the endless sea. Though it’s dark she can see the noticeable barrier of pointed rocks in the distance, painful ones that would tear her boat apart given the chance and leave them to sink into the depths. But beyond that? There are a few tiny dots of unexplored islands waiting to be explored. She could find new food there, new art, new friends. There could be even more pain, but there could also be much more love and joy. All she has to do is look for it.

She’s already lost so much, but maybe she could find much more.

Stella snickers. 

“You? Giving me an inspiring motivational speech? Who are you and what have you done with Gwen?”

Gwen chuckles and gently shoves Stella. 

“Oh come on, I still have my good moments here and there. Besides you hogged all those moments before when we were alive, let me have this one.”

“Alright Gwen, alright. Just this once. ” Stella holds up a single finger to Gwen’s snout.

“Hmm, I think I might need glasses, how many fingers are you holding up again? Because I feel another one coming on!” 

“Nooo, my one defining personality trait! Stolen!!” 

“Sorry Stells, there’s a new main character in town!” 

Joyous childlike laughter rings out between the two and both need to scoot away from the ledge to not accidentally fall off from their breathlessness. That same nostalgic feeling strung between them tightened again--the same they felt when first reuniting here and sharing a hug. But it felt tighter, much more intertwined between the two as they let their fears melt away even if just for this one night and return to that familiar space from all those decades ago. No hospitals, no million dollar mansions, just two kids laughing and playing together. 

Once both have catched their breaths they sit back up and let their legs dangle once again. 

“Thanks for talking with me Gwen, I really needed it.” Her voice is relaxed and calm without a hint of strain. The first it’s been all day. “I’m gonna stay out here for a bit longer. If you wanna leave and get to your beauty sleep then I won’t stop you.”

Gwen looks back to Astrid’s cabin, full of snoring frogs and purring cats. Then she looks back outwards to the sea and to Stella, illuminated not by her golden glow but with the true pale white of the moonlight. 

“...I think I’ll stick around for a little bit longer.” Gwen says contently, then scoots right next to Stella and wraps an arm around her. Stella’s mouth opens in surprise for a moment, but then relaxes into a smile as she rests her cheek against Gwen’s mane and wraps her arm around her as well. 

Both of them stare up at the brilliant night sky. Not perfect and awe inspiring, but beautiful all the same with their beloved teacher smiling down upon them.

Notes:

This honestly might be my best fic, the one I'm proud of the most. Even if it's only five chapters long it still feels like I said everything I wanted to say and I had a lot of fun writing it. Exploring these characters and the world a bit more felt amazing and I honestly might do a bit more of this in the future.

As for everyone who joined me as I wrote my way through this, thank you for joining me! Spiritfarer means a lot to me and for those who expressed joy at my writings it really helped keep me motivated. I'm glad you enjoyed this as much as I did.

Anyways, thank you all for reading! I hope you all have a lovely day!!! \(^o^)/