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With every wasted minute that passes, Kim Sunoo sees a horrifying scenario in the back of his mind where his picture is not the one posted up for ‘Employee of the Month’. He can’t have the word ‘tardy’ on his immaculate record! And he would rather eat glass before someone steals away that ‘Employee of the Month’ title from him. Sure, it’s easy to predict who will take the spot considering there are only three people working at the ice rink as of the moment, and one of them is the owner’s brother — their boss wants to avoid any scandalous issues about nepotism, so he will never grant Heeseung the precious title—so it’s really just down to two candidates: Sunoo and Sunghoon.
Sunghoon will never be ‘Employee of the Month’, not with his late time-ins and the crazy shenanigans he’s taught the kids! So for the past six months of working at the local ice rink, Sunoo’s face has graced its wall every month, earning him the title "Ice Fairy Kim Sunoo''.
(The kids call Sunghoon the "Ice Prince", but Sunoo doesn’t really care about that.)
Still, he can’t be complacent. Park Sunghoon is a sly son of a bitch, and if he could have his way, he’d be able to convince their boss to replace Sunoo. Their boss, Seokmin, is especially fond of him after all.
Sunoo is tempted to throw away his blasted phone for not letting his alarm ring again, but instead, he pockets it and heads to the garage as fast as possible, kissing his parents goodbye without any finesse. He hears his mom offer him breakfast, but he shouts a quick, "No, thanks!" and prays to a deity he doesn’t believe in that the vending machine at the rink actually works this time.
He forgoes the bus and instead relies on his bike, which he’s had since forever. He really should have outgrown it, but his growth spurt stopped during the first year of high school. And though his parents love the fact that they don’t have to buy another bike, Sunoo is unfortunately stuck at his non-ideal height. Someday, he’ll get over it. But for now, he’ll secretly blame his ancestors for not having the ‘tall’ genes passed down to him.
At the garage, he quickly unlocks his bike and mounts it. He pedals it as fast as he can on the way to the ice rink. He’s glad that he made this decision since the traffic was ridiculously heavy at the intersection. Apparently, two cars bumped into each other and their respective drivers were arguing as the police officer took their statements. The cars beeped impatiently behind them, while Sunoo weaved his way out of the jam. His knees started aching when he passed by the newly-opened barbecue place, but he didn't let it faze him. He’ll do his stretches later on and be good as new. It’s going to be worth it as long as he beats Sunghoon again this month.
When he sees the building where the ice rink is located coming in from the distance, Sunoo puffs out his cheeks and powers through it. He ignores the pain starting to creep up his thighs and reserves his breath for the last sprint. He almost ran over a random pedestrian, but to be fair, he was still in the bike lane. Whoever the middle-aged man was shouldn’t have been taking his call in the middle of the lane like he owned it. He doesn’t miss the curses thrown at him, but Sunoo ignores those too. He takes a quick glance at his watch and sees that he only has five minutes left.
He pedals faster and practically throws his bicycle down when he reaches the parking lot. The way to the ice rink felt like a marathon, and Sunoo tries his best to imagine that he’s an Olympian. He finally makes it into the office and skips a greeting to Heeseung, who was manning the front desk in order to clock in. He navigates through the cards and locates his name with ease before shoving it down the timer.
Unfortunately… their beat-up time clock lags and registers his name one minute later. He officially has a late record. And upon realizing it, Sunoo’s knees give in, and he lets himself lie dramatically on the floor with his eyes closed. His knees and thighs pulse with pain, but they slowly subside as he catches his breath, letting the oxygen circulate in his bloodstream. His lungs ache quite a bit, but nothing compares to the light squeezing sensation in his chest when he realizes that Park Sunghoon will hold this one against him. And when he feels rather than sees the shadow looming over his body, he’s a hundred percent sure that the infamous ‘Ice Prince’ is definitely smiling down at him mockingly.
"What?" Sunoo blurts out in irritation when Sunghoon still doesn’t say anything. "Just laugh at me or something. Point out how my Employee of the Month award is on the line because I’m one minute late. "
"Believe me, there’s plenty of time for that later," Sunghoon says. Sunoo can almost see the way he’s smiling, and when he pops an eye open, he finds out that he’s right. Park Sunghoon nonchalantly looks down on him with his hands in his pockets, waiting for the perfect time to drop a one-liner that will keep Sunoo up at night, wishing he had made a witty retort. But it doesn’t come. Instead, Sunghoon offers him a hand to pull him back up to his feet.
Still annoyed, Sunoo accepts it anyway and groans when he corrects his posture. He can’t help the pout that appears in his mouth when the whole situation dawns on him. He knows that it won’t hurt to lose the Employee of the Month title, but his ego can’t handle it.
"God, so dramatic," Sunghoon murmurs before pressing something cold on Sunoo’s cheek. Sunoo winces when he feels it on his skin. He reaches up and realizes that it was a bottle of his favorite peach juice. Sunghoon presses something again on his other cheek, but this time, it’s warm. It was a small bag of fish-shaped buns. "Eat," he commands. "Your mom called the office. She kept telling me that if her precious son teaches a class without food in his stomach, she would sue the ice rink."
Sunoo rolls his eyes but accepts the food anyway. At least he knows now where he got all his dramatic attitude from. "Like she would do that."
Sunghoon furrows his brows. "Don’t test her. She’s a scary woman."
Sunoo agrees but doesn’t say it to Sunghoon just because he's already witnessed how much his mom cries when she watches puppy videos on YouTube. The conversation ends when Sunghoon turns back to get something from his locker. "How much are these?" Sunoo asks.
Sunghoon only waves his hand in dismissal and shakes his head. He retrieves his skates from his locker. "Don’t worry about it. You have to get used to it because I’ll treat everyone once I snatch away that Employee of the Month award from you."
There it was: the one liner. Sunoo fumes and tries to kick the smirk off of Sunghoon’s face, but Sunghoon was fast enough to dodge away and run to safety. And frankly, even if he didn’t move away, Sunoo’s legs weren’t long enough to reach him. Yet another disappointment on Sunoo’s part. Sunghoon’s chuckles fill the locker room all the way to the echoey rink.
"Ya! Park Sunghoon!" Sunoo yells back. To no avail, Sunoo just slumps back on one of the benches and tries his best to calm himself down. He can’t keep this negative energy up the whole day. The kids will be joining them anytime soon, and he needs to be his best, cheerful self. It’s the reason why the kids keep calling him the Ice Fairy anyway. Besides, his first—and last!—tardiness won’t define his whole etiquette as a teacher, right? He’s sure that Seokmin will overlook it just this once. Anyway, his immaculate track record is no match against Sunghoon’s sullied one.
As he manifests good vibes for himself, he uses the fish-shaped buns—his favorite ones being sold near the ice rink—and the peach juice to act as a happy catalyst. Though his sweet tooth is satisfied, he’ll surely crave something spicy later on. But that can wait until after his shift. As he finishes one of the buns, Sunoo straightens up and changes into his uniform. He puts the unfinished food in his locker and saves it for later. But he was on the run again when he realized that he had forgotten to lock his bike up in the parking lot.
Thirty minutes before their class starts, Heeseung calls them out to the lobby to greet the students as usual. Sunoo and Sunghoon teach a class of no more than ten kids at a time because they’re all full of energy and having more than ten kids between the two of them would be too much. Luckily, their kids aren’t too reckless on the ice, and they are all manageable if they work together.
There are times, however, when that doesn’t really happen. For instance, last week, Sunghoon showed off a bielmann to the kids—because, apparently, he can’t live a day without reminding the kids that he used to be a competitive figure skater—which prompted at least five little children to try to imitate him. Sunoo was nothing short of panicked as he tried to calm the kids down, telling them that it was dangerous and they were nowhere near Sunghoon’s level for them to try it out.
Sunghoon told him he was a killjoy. Sunoo told Sunghoon that he was irresponsible. But in the end, it was still a fun and successful class. The kids’ parents thank them again for letting their batteries run low for a nap while they get their much needed alone time.
There’s nothing different about this day. Around ten kids showed up for their first class, each one hugging Sunoo and Sunghoon by their legs because they’re too short to reach up. Sunoo thinks it’s quite cute. Their favorite student, Sunhee—they both know they really shouldn’t be playing favorites, but they’re only human—gives them a small bag of cookies each and tells them that she baked them with her dad.
Sunghoon kneels down to thank Sunhee, and the little girl’s cheeks instantly flame up as she shyly looks away. "Thank you, Sunhee! Teacher Sunghoon will enjoy it." Sunhee’s mom chuckles when she sees her little girl acting all lady-like. Sunoo suppresses another eye-roll because he knows how much Sunghoon basks in the attention that their students give him.
"And Teacher Sunoo?" Sunhee asks while looking up at Sunoo.
Sunoo smiles. "Of course!" he exclaims. "Thank you, Sunhee."
The little girl beams at them and nods before scurrying to the locker rooms.
"Sunoo?" someone calls out to him. He looks up to see a familiar face on the front desk. The woman still looked beautiful despite the wrinkles on the sides of her eyes that weren’t there before. Even the strands of silver hair on her head don’t mask the fact that she’s a sight to behold.
"Mrs. Park?" Sunoo approaches with care.
The woman chuckles. "Mrs. Nishimura now, actually," she corrects. "I got remarried and all, remember?"
"Right, right. I didn’t know you were back in Korea. Is Jay with you?"
Mrs. Nishimura chuckles, her eyes glinting with a knowing look. It was no secret that, once upon a time, Sunoo had a big, fat crush on her son. But who can blame him? Park Jay was such a gentleman, even during elementary school. He’s always been so nice to Sunoo and would stand up for him when their meaner classmates would pick on him. Once upon a time, Sunoo thought that they’d end up happily ever after. Alas, their family matters got in the way, and he ended up moving to Japan. They didn’t have any form of communication after that, and Sunoo’s childish feelings naturally faded away.
"He is, actually," she says. "He’ll pick up Riki later."
"Riki?"
She nods and looks down at her legs, where a small kid who has dumplings for cheeks hides behind her. She picks him up and settles him on one hip. "This is my youngest son, Jay’s half-brother, Riki," she supplies. "He speaks and understands Korean, but my husband and I thought it’d be best if we enrolled him somewhere fun where he could interact with kids his age. We found this rink and thought, ‘Why not give it a shot?’" The kid stares at Sunoo for a moment before hiding behind his mother’s hair again when they make eye contact.
Sunoo smiles and approaches carefully. "Hi, Riki. I’m Sunoo, and I will be your ice skating teacher for today." Riki doesn’t respond, but that’s only natural. The kid would adapt after a session or two. All their students had to overcome the same phase. It’s just a matter of proper instruction to build up their confidence.
"He’s still a bit shy," Mrs. Nishimura says, with an embarrassed smile. "But I’ll put my trust in you, Sunoo. I hope you get to help him make some friends while he’s here."
"Of course! We’ll do our best."
After Heeseung finishes putting the kids’ name tags on, Sunghoon and Sunoo lead them to the locker rooms with their parents to lend them their skates. Some of the students use their own, but the rink has enough spares of all sizes. They also taught the parents how to properly tie the skates and protective pads. Sunhee especially requested Sunghoon to tie her skates for the day. Sunghoon looked smug about it.
"Ah, Sunoo," Mrs. Nishimura called. "Can you help me with this one? I’ll just take this call quickly."
Sunoo nods and watches Mrs. Nishimura exit the locker room briefly. Then he kneels down and looks at Riki, who was still not looking back at him. Softly, he asks permission to tie his skates. "Hi, Riki. Can I help you tie your skates? I just need you to put your foot here on my lap." Riki’s eyes shift for a moment, surveying the room and seeing all the other kids doing the same with their parents. Eventually, he nods and carefully places his socked foot on Sunoo’s thigh. Sunoo smiles and carefully slips the skates on before securing the ties tightly. He does the same for the other foot before noticing Riki staring at him.
He looks up just in time for Riki to shyly look away, passing it off nonchalantly. He bites back a laugh while checking the laces on Riki’s skates. In his peripheral vision, he sees Riki doing it again, but just like before, the kid looks away before they can make eye contact. "You’re all set, Riki!"
As if on cue, Mrs. Nishimura comes in and thanks Sunoo for his help. Sunoo straightens up and moves in front of the lockers to round up the kids. They make them hold each other’s hands before entering the rink. Sunoo notices Riki hesitantly taking Sunhee’s hand, but Sunhee—being the literal sun that she is—smiles at Riki and tells him not to worry, even though it’s his first time.
"Teacher Sunoo, you need to hold hands with Teacher Sunghoon too, so you won’t slip on the ice!" one of the kids says.
Sunoo winces as he looks at Sunghoon, who was sporting yet another sly smile on his face. For some reason, some of the kids in their classes think that Sunoo and Sunghoon are married or at least going to get married soon. The very thought of it sends a shudder down Sunoo’s spine, but Sunghoon always uses it to his advantage. Whenever Sunoo scolds him, he turns to the kids and says, "Ah, I think Teacher Sunoo is mad at me." All the kids—those precious, innocent youngins—all rally and tell him, "Teacher Sunoo, please don’t be mad at Teacher Sunghoon anymore!"
It’s honestly ridiculous.
"Don’t worry, kids! Teacher Sunghoon and I are professionals, which means that we don’t have to hold hands anymore! When you get older and better at skating, you won’t have to hold each other’s hands when we get on the ice, either."
There was a collective groan from the kids, which prompted Sunghoon to reach out and hold Sunoo’s hand anyway. Sunoo gives him a look that he ignores. "I’m actually feeling a bit clumsy today, so I think it’s a good idea for us to hold hands. Thank you for your suggestion, kids!" Unlike before, their class cheers gratefully as they all slowly make their way to the ice.
"I’m actually going to kill you," Sunoo whispers to Sunghoon as he painfully grips the latter’s hand to send the message.
Sunghoon purses his lips in obvious pain but quips, "Don’t crush these kids’ dreams of us getting married. It is plausible."
"After this class, I’m going to say very bad words to you, but I'm holding them in because I don’t want to corrupt these children’s innocence."
Sunoo lets go of Sunghoon’s hand when they get on the ice, and they start the class by doing small marches.
Despite his best efforts, Sunoo wasn’t able to see Riki smiling or laughing with his peers. Sunhee did try to approach her new friend too, but he thinks that it can’t be helped how shy Riki is still. No matter, it’s his first session after all. As long as his parents sign him up for the next classes, there will be plenty of opportunities for him to have fun with his new friends.
There are some things that Sunoo did observe about Riki, though. For instance, he likes being independent. He kept slipping on the ice—there’s no surprise in that since he’s a beginner—but he didn’t call out for Sunoo or Sunghoon. Instead, he kept himself steady by holding on to the sides of the rink until he found his balance. He’s also quite observant. He tries his best to correct his posture when he sees the teachers doing so for his other classmates. And most importantly, he seems like a determined kid, much like his older brother. He didn’t make too much of a fuss when he fell down. He immediately pushes himself up and tries again, even though he needs a lot more practice. That’s a good thing, at least, Sunoo thinks so. He doesn’t think that he’d have too much of a problem with Riki, aside from letting him interact more with his new friends.
Two hours passed by like it was nothing, and the kids took a break while waiting for their parents at the locker room. Some of them had to wait for their parents to finish other errands before picking them up. So, in the meantime, the teachers take off their skates and distribute snacks to them. Today’s menu includes chocolate pie and canned sikhye. Except for one, all the kids love it.
Huddled in the corner of the room all by himself, Riki takes off his skates by himself and looks at the door almost pleadingly. It’s obvious that he can’t wait to go home after being surrounded by so many strangers. Sunoo walks over to where he’s sitting and crouches down to check on him. "Hey, Riki. Do you want a choco pie?" Riki looks at him briefly and shakes his head. "How about sikhye? It’s sweet!" But again, Riki refuses.
Sunoo sighs but tries to be patient. Parents don’t arrive on time after the class; that's why they give them a twenty-minute leeway before calling them. It’s only been five minutes since they ended, but it might take a while for Riki’s mom to pick him up. "Well, do you want anything else to eat? I’ll try to get it for you if you want something else."
Riki slowly turns his head and then stops when he sees something. Sunoo follows his line of sight directly to the fish-shaped buns on his hand. They were leftovers from earlier. "Ah, do you like bungeoppang?" Sunoo raises a piece to offer it to Riki. The kid hesitates and looks at Sunoo as if he’s asking for permission. Sunoo finds it cute and smiles at him. "You can have it. It’s chocolate." Sunoo gives it to Riki, who takes it with very careful and hesitant hands. Then he half-bows in thanks before slowly chewing on the tail end.
"We’re the same," Sunoo tells him. "I leave the head part for later because it’s the most delicious." Riki doesn’t respond, and Sunoo doesn’t wait for him to. Instead, he places the rest of the buns next to Riki and tells him to call for him if he needs anything. He goes back to the make-shift snack bar beside Sunghoon to cater to the other kids while still keeping Riki in his line of sight.
"Not much of a talker, huh?" Sunghoon asks as he nods in Riki’s direction.
Sunoo purses his lips and shrugs while organizing the remaining snacks. "He’ll come through in no time. We just have to be patient. I mean, he just moved to another country, and he’s only five. It must be too much for him."
"I guess so," Sunghoon agrees. "I’ll be his favorite in no time."
Sunoo scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Talk about narcissism."
One by one, the parents started checking their children out. There were plenty of goodbyes from the kids, wishing everyone to have a happy weekend until they see each other next time. A handful of them hugged Sunoo and Sunghoon, and some left little gifts courtesy of their parents. With ten minutes left, only two other kids were left: Sunhee and Riki.
It’s a bit funny to see the two kids’ different reactions to the realization that they’re the only ones snacking in the locker room. Sunhee is used to it since her mom is busy. She’s a patient child and understands that she is safe with her teachers as long as she doesn’t leave the rink. Riki, on the other hand, is almost as pale as a ghost. He keeps on fidgeting with his fingers while staring at the door. He’s already finished the fish-shaped buns, which means that his momentary distraction has also come to an end. If he could, Sunoo thinks that Riki would kick the door down.
Fortunately, it didn’t have to come to that.
The door to the lobby opens to reveal Heeseung. He peeks his head in the door and says, "Sunhee and Riki, your guardians are here." Riki immediately jumps from his seat to race out of the door, surprising everyone. And though she’s excited as well, Sunhee takes her time carrying her bag as she walks to the exit. Sunoo and Sunghoon look at each other in surprise but follow the two kids out to the lobby.
Sunhee’s mom carries her as her daughter talks her ear out about their day. Then Sunhee calls Sunghoon to say goodbye. On the other hand, Riki was being carried by someone who was definitely not his mom, but by a familiar face altogether.
"Jay?" Sunoo calls out excitedly.
Jay turns, and his face instantly brightens upon seeing an old childhood friend. "Sunoo? Oh my God! It’s been so long! Mom said you grew up well, but I didn’t expect you to look... well, older?"
"After years of not seeing me, is that really what you went for?" Sunoo points out.
Jay chuckles and apologizes. "No, I’m sorry. I just had this picture of you in my mind of that short kid with chubby cheeks that I knew from elementary school."
Here’s the thing about childhood crushes: most of the time, you live to regret them. You grow up and realize that the person you used to like wasn’t all that cute or nice, as you remembered them to be. And then you laugh about it because you know, deep in your heart, that you won’t ever revisit that feeling again.
But Park Jay has always been different. Why the fuck is Sunoo getting butterflies in his stomach when he sees and hears Jay laugh, even though they haven’t been in contact for years? Childhood crushes mostly grow up to look like soggy Froot Loops. Why the fuck does Park Jay have a sharp jawline and manly features to boot? That’s not how childhood crushes work!
Suddenly, an arm wraps around Sunoo’s shoulders and the grating sound of Park Sunghoon’s voice rattles his ears. "Nothing much has changed. He’s still a shorty with mochi cheeks," he emphasizes, pinching Sunoo’s cheek rather harshly. Sunoo elbows him on the side, but Sunghoon just laughs at him before turning back to Jay. "Park Sunghoon. The better-looking employee here."
Luckily, Jay was nice enough to ride along with the joke. "Park Jongseong, but I prefer Jay just because it’s shorter," he says. "I’m Sunoo’s childhood friend and also Riki’s brother." Riki, who was perched on Jay’s arms, looks a lot brighter than before. He places his palm on Jay’s cheek for comfort while he snuggles on the other. "I hope he didn’t give you too much trouble?"
"Not at all!" Sunoo replies quickly. "He’s still a bit quiet, but we get it. He’s actually doing great. I think he’ll be able to skate properly after a few sessions."
Jay smiles in relief and then turns to his younger brother to speak to him in Japanese. It was the first time that Sunoo had witnessed Jay speak in Japanese and the first time he’d heard Riki talk at all. His small voice sounds so adorable, especially when he shyly plays with Jay’s collar when he says something. Sunoo thinks he’s recounting some details about their session.
" Momo-san?" Jay asks. And Riki nods shyly before hugging his brother again to hide his face. Jay laughs even louder and turns back to Sunoo and Sunghoon, who didn’t understand an ounce of their conversation.
"Sorry. I really should speak more to him in Korean so he’d get used to it, but he blabbers in Japanese when he’s shy," Jay explains. "Anyway, he said he enjoyed the class and he’s thankful to the nice teachers." Sunoo can’t help but beam with pride. "We’ll see you guys next week then." Jay signs on the logbook and waves goodbye until Riki’s sudden whining catches him off-guard. He whispers something in Jay’s ear that makes the older turn back around.
"Right," he says. "Sunoo, it’s been a while since we last saw each other. How about we go out to eat barbecue next week when I pick Riki up again?" The butterflies instantly burst in Sunoo’s stomach and memories of young Jay sharing snacks with him during recess flash in his mind. It takes a beat before he responds, but Sunghoon—being annoying as always—puts his arm around Sunoo’s shoulder once again.
"We would love to!" he answers for both of them, even though Sunoo is sure that the invitation doesn’t extend to him. "There’s actually a new barbecue restaurant near here. They just opened last week. We can check it out if you want to?"
Even though he’s technically not invited, Jay only smiles at Sunghoon. "That would be awesome. See you then!"
God… Park Jay remained the same. He’s still the gentleman that Sunoo fell for when he was six.
He waits for the siblings and Sunhee and her mom to exit the building before he elbows Sunghoon a lot more forcefully, making the latter wince in pain and prompting him to take his arm off of Sunoo. "Hey! That hurt!"
"Why are you inviting yourself to the barbecue?" Sunoo scolds him. "You don’t know Jay, and Jay doesn’t know you!"
Sunghoon arrogantly chuckles and shrugs. "Why not? It’s nice to make new friends. And judging by the fact that you didn’t use honorifics, he’s probably the same age as us, right?"
Sunoo rolls his eyes and stomps his way back to the locker room. He cleans up the mess and makes sure that everything is in order for their next class starting in an hour. The devil, in the form of Park Sunghoon, unfortunately follows him with his big mouth.
"Oh, I see. Maybe you just don’t like me to witness you flirting with that Jay guy?"
Sunoo halts what he’s doing and lets the warmth creep up to his cheeks. He wants to say that it’s not like that, but that would be a lie. He was definitely going to catch up and flirt with Jay. There’s nothing wrong with that, right? They’re adults now, and they’d definitely have more meaningful conversations aside from what Tamagotchi has the best color.
But it’s true that Sunoo doesn’t want Sunghoon there. Firstly, because he wasn’t invited, he really has no reason to tag along. Jay was just too nice to point it out to him. Second, he’d rather not give Sunghoon any ammunition to tease him. His annoying co-worker-slash-frenemy already knows too many embarrassing things about him, like how his voice broke like a teenage boy the last time they went to karaoke. Or how about that one time he accidentally ripped his pants while doing a split in the middle of a skating class? No, Sunoo won’t take any more of that, especially when all the blackmail material he has against Park Sunghoon is zero.
He won’t let Sunghoon faze him, though. He will regret not biting back later. So when he straightens up from where he was crouching and turns to Sunghoon, who was languidly leaning against the doorframe with his arm crossed, Sunoo musters up a smirk. "Why? Are you jealous?"
Sunghoon’s smug smile drops, and Sunoo takes it as a win. Their encounter, however, turns into a staring contest where Sunoo does his best not to falter. It’s not always that he sees Sunghoon at a loss for words, so he savors it as much as he can. But their impromptu staring contest ends when Heeseung calls them from the lobby to have a briefing before their next class. Sunoo walks over the benches and heads for the exit, only to be stopped by a pale and rather cold hand on his wrist. He looks at Sunghoon’s hand before meeting eyes with him.
"What?"
Sunghoon just stares at him with dark eyes for a moment before saying, "Next time, when I buy you food, don’t give it to someone else." And then he lets Sunoo go before briskly walking to the lobby. Sunoo tilts his head to the side in confusion, not really knowing what Sunghoon means.
Sunoo powers through the week, fuelled only by cups of coffee and the sheer determination to not die in the hellfire of the college because that’s the lamest thing to put on someone’s epitaph. Even though they still have some weeks to endure before the winter break, Sunoo couldn’t wait to put a pause on his academic life, even for just a week or two. Their endless case studies, his questionable tasks as Professor Min’s TA, and the fact that the cafeteria never served any good food have all been accumulating gradually throughout the semester. Sunoo is only a hair’s breadth away from dropping out of college entirely, even though there’s no way that’s going to happen any time soon.
He’s just months away from graduating and the deal he made with his parents is still very much viable: he has to maintain his good grades, otherwise, he won’t be allowed to teach ice skating to the kids anymore. Ice skating is his only way to de-stress, and frankly, it’s the only reason he keeps getting up early, even on the weekends. He can’t let that go too easily. Besides, the kids will surely miss Ice Fairy Kim Sunoo, right?
So slowly, gradually, he tries his best to survive through yet another draining week with the thought of eating barbecue with Jay after his ice skating class on Saturday plastered in the forefront of his mind. The thought of reuniting with his childhood crush makes him feel warm on the inside. He wants to ask Jay a lot of things. They’ve been separated for almost ten years now, and he wonders how much the latter has changed.
Physically, he just grew more into his dad’s features. His jawline is sharper, his voice is deeper and huskier, he’s much taller, and his broad shoulders give him such a masculine frame that Sunoo finds attractive. Yet when Jay smiles, he still looks the same—like the kid who shares his grilled corn with Sunoo for lunch. When he speaks, he still sounds smart but is gentle. And when he looks at Sunoo, he still shows how much he cares for the latter.
Sunoo wonders if he makes Jay feel the same way too. He doubts that he does, but it’d be so nice if that were the case.
Sunoo keeps his excitement contained all throughout the week, letting it simmer deep in his chest until Saturday morning comes.
Sunoo, unlike last Saturday, double-checks—triples-checks—his alarms so he can start the day early enough to prepare. He wakes up with a smile on his face and stretches out his arms like he’s shooting a furniture commercial. The sun shone brightly outside his window, and he could still hear the birds chirping despite the noisy background of the city. He doesn’t let the beeping cars in the distance deter him, and instead, he happily skips to his closet to get the perfect outfit that will surely catch Jay’s eyes.
His eyes zero in on the oversized white shirt with black prints that he bought at a discount months ago. He’s only ever worn it once to a birthday party, and he’s gotten a lot of compliments on it. He grins to himself as he sees the black jeans that would perfectly go with it. He skips the belt chain because it would be unsafe during the class. He wouldn’t want to accidentally give one of the kids a black eye in case he did a turn.
Aside from his immaculate outfit, he also takes some time to put his makeup on. It never hurts to dab on rouge on his cheeks or make his lips extra glossy, right? Maybe a bit of mascara would make his eyes pop too, since he already has long lashes in the first place. He takes one quick look in the mirror—okay, it wasn’t quick, it was actually two whole minutes—and psyches himself up to be a little more confident with himself. His precious clothes and pretty makeup will go to waste if he doesn’t carry himself with poise.
"Oh, you look dashing, dear," Sunoo’s mom greets him when he makes his way to the breakfast table. "Are you doing anything special later?"
Sunoo tries his best not to look too over-excited, especially when his dad’s looking directly at him through his glasses. Sunoo scratches the back of his head, "Ah, yeah. I’m just having lunch with Jay later. Park Jay? You remember him, right?"
His parents look at each other not-so-discreetly. His mom sheepishly grins while his dad just quirks an eyebrow while frowning. "Of course, we remember," his mom chirps, at the same time his dad answers with a low voice.
Perhaps Sunoo wasn’t all that hushed about his childhood crush. He figures he could at least cut himself some slack because he was in elementary school back then. "Yeah. Well, his family’s back in Japan, and we decided to catch up."
The Kim patriarch coughs behind a fist, then settles behind his newspaper of the day. Sunoo thinks his dad’s participation in their conversation has already ended—he’s a man of very few words—but then he follows up with a question. "Is Sunghoon joining you?"
It was Sunoo’s turn to raise an eyebrow in confusion. Right, Sunghoon also invited himself to the barbecue. He internally groans when he realizes that he’d have to be surrounded by a negative—and rather irritating—aura for an hour while he tries to catch up with Jay. But no matter, he won’t let that dampen his mood. He’ll just block out Park Sunghoon all throughout their lunch and pretend he never existed in the first place. Although he’s certain that it’s going to be a difficult feat to achieve, unless Sunghoon backs out of his self-invitation, Sunoo would have no choice. Sunghoon will definitely tease him because that’s just how he is—Satan’s personal gift to Sunoo.
Sunoo’s expectations were once again met when he arrived at the rink. He clocked in ten minutes earlier than usual and found Heeseung slurping away on his instant noodles for "breakfast". "Looking good, Sunoo!" Heeseung compliments him in between bites and gives him a thumbs up as he walks to the staff’s locker room. Although he has to hide half of his outfit due to their uniform policies, Sunoo is just glad that their "uniform" is just an orange vest that won’t crumple his sleeves.
"Who are you and what did you do to Kim Sunoo?"
Sunoo rolls his eyes when he realizes that the bane of his existence has finally arrived. "Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny. Just because I don’t put any effort into looking good in front of you doesn’t mean I won’t do it for other people."
Sunoo turns back, closes his locker door, and commences yet another staredown with Park Sunghoon. His devil of a co-worker looks miles different from Sunoo. While Sunoo’s hair is sprayed down and combed neatly, Sunghoon’s is nothing short of a bird’s nest, sticking out at awkward places and angles. Sunghoon’s tie-dye shirt and faded jeans look tacky, and he’s just a mess in general, like he tried to rush his way to the rink after realizing that he was running late—and knowing Sunghoon, that probably happened. If it weren’t for his above-average face—Sunoo will give him that because Sunoo has functioning eyes—he could pass as a hobo.
For a moment, Sunghoon just stares at him, probably shocked that Sunoo could actually look decent if he tried. But then it just made Sunoo a little bit uncomfortable, like he was being scrutinized, and he couldn’t let that lower his confidence when he’d been doing so well since the morning. So he ends their staring contest first and asks, "What?"
Sunghoon shakes his head and looks away as well, masking the uncomfortable feeling behind a cough. "Nothing. You just look different. You even wore a choker, and you told me before that you don’t really like accessorizing beyond your ear piercings."
It’s true. Chokers and necklaces kinda suffocate or tickle him. Bracelets are fine, but they’re not ideal when his job involves spinning around a lot in front of kids. It can be a hazard. "Yeah, well." He shrugs and involuntarily picks at the small round pendant on his choker. "I just thought I’d dress up today for a change."
Sunghoon grins slyly as he opens his own locker. "Is this because of Jay’s lunch invitation?" Sunoo purses his lips and glares at Sunghoon, which prompts the latter to chuckle loudly. "You’re so predictable."
"And you’re so annoying," Sunoo replies, without missing a beat. He crosses his arms and leans on one foot in an attempt to look intimidating. "You literally invited yourself to lunch when you don’t even know each other. Why don’t you just go ahead and eat your favorite 7-Eleven fake food and leave us to rekindle our childhood bond?"
"Childhood bond?" Sunghoon turns to him and leans over his locker door to get closer to Sunoo. "I’m sure Jay will get to focus on your precious childhood memories and not the fact that your pants are too tight."
Sunoo gasps and punches Sunghoon on the shoulder, while the latter just laughs maniacally. "Pervert!" He hurriedly pulls his shirt down and steps back to get away from Sunghoon.
"Hey, lovebirds," Heeseung sing-songs as he enters the locker room. "Quit bickering and get in the lobby. There are already some kids waiting for you."
"We’ll be right there," Sunghoon calls out. "Sunoo’s waiting for someone too."
"Ah, that explains the whole get-up,"
Sunoo rolls his eyes and pushes his way to the lobby, pulling his shirt down again just in case his pants were indeed too tight.
His pants were too tight. He could barely glide on the ice without the fear of it ripping at the seams, so he left all the more complex moves to Sunghoon. Luckily, Sunghoon kept his mouth shut and taught the kids some simple tricks without a word. He did look at Sunoo teasingly when he realized the reason why the latter wasn’t too eager on the ice, but Sunoo let it pass.
On the plus side, Riki was a lot more interactive than in their first session. He greeted Sunoo with a shy wave in the lobby and was the first one to hold Sunoo’s hand when they were entering the rink. He started talking to Sunhee when he asked her how to correct the positions of his legs. Sunhee was nice enough to answer. He also stuck to Sunoo all throughout the session, keeping only an arm’s length away from his teacher at all times. Sunoo also hears him laugh for the first time when Riki spots Sunghoon accidentally slipping clumsily. Riki’s not too fond of Sunghoon, though. He still avoids the other teacher, but they could at least work on that in the next sessions.
"That kid hates me," Sunghoon whispers to him after their session. The kids retire temporarily to their locker room while they wait for their parents to fetch them. They each have a piece of milk bread and a carton of banana milk today. Riki eats quietly by himself while Sunhee chats his ear off.
Sunoo snorts. "As he should."
"Hey, that’s not nice," Sunghoon protests. "I’m a nice teacher. I’m the Ice Prince!" Sunghoon opens his mouth to say something more, but then he slightly bends down and clutches at his right leg. Panic was evident in his eyes, and even Sunoo sensed that something was wrong.
He bends down as well and braces Sunghoon on both arms. "Park Sunghoon, what’s happening to you?"
Sunghoon holds Sunoo back by the bicep and hops his way to the nearest bench. "I just… need to sit down for a minute," he manages to say in between groans. Sunghoon sits down and straightens his right leg while massaging it. He furrows his brows and clenches his jaw in obvious pain. And then it clicks in Sunoo’s mind: his injury.
Six years ago, Park Sunghoon was at the height of his figure skating career. At only fourteen, sports analysts have already dubbed him the next Yuzuru Hanyu. Everyone wanted Sunghoon on their team, and even the national team had his name down on their list. Sunoo didn’t know Park Sunghoon then, but from the stories he’d heard and the news articles that came up online, Park Sunghoon’s skating career was abruptly cut short because of a terrible injury. It took him quite a while to recover and he only managed to get back on the ice two years ago. But no matter how many physical therapies he’s subjected himself to, he’s just not built the same anymore.
Sunghoon gave up his ice skating career before deciding to teach classes to kids instead, just to feel good about himself again. Sunghoon never talks about his injury—no one who knows about his situation does—and Sunoo doesn’t even dare ask. But there were times when his leg would hurt after a particular session. When his posture is not right or when other conditions don’t work well in his favor, the pain returns. It’s not the first time that Sunoo has witnessed it, but every time he does, it breaks his heart just a little bit to see his overly-confident (borderline arrogant) co-worker be vulnerable for a few minutes.
"Wait here," Sunoo says before rushing to the staff’s locker room. He locates their first aid cabinet and retrieves a heat pad, which he instantly activates. He returns to the kids’ locker room and kneels on the ground, carefully placing Sunghoon’s foot on his lap. Sunghoon winces but doesn’t protest. "I’ll just put the heat pad on it." He presses the small heat pad on Sunghoon’s leg and doesn’t let up until he feels the latter relax. He looks up to see Sunghoon looking at him with an unreadable expression. It’s not sly like all the other looks that Sunghoon throws his way, it's rather pitiful. "Are you alright?"
"I’ll be," Sunghoon replies. "I just fell a little bit earlier. It will go away in a few minutes, don’t worry."
Despite his panic, Sunoo huffs a laugh. "I’m not worried. You’re Park Sunghoon." That somehow cheered Sunghoon up, evident by the small smile that instantly appeared on his lips.
"Teacher Sunghoon, are you okay?" Sunhee asks with a pout on her lips. She thrusts her half-empty banana juice box at Sunghoon before taking a seat beside him.
Sunghoon pats her on the head and gives her a reassuring smile. "I’m fine, Sunhee. Teacher Sunghoon is just a little bit tired." Sunhee stares at the heat pad on Sunghoon’s leg, her eyes full of worry, but she nods and tells Sunghoon that she will stay with him until he feels better. Riki joins them not too long after, but instead of taking a seat beside Sunghoon, he crouches down next to Sunoo.
He whispers, "What happened to Teacher Sunghoon?"
Sunoo smiles at him and whispers back, "He’s just resting."
Riki looks at the heat pad, then at Sunghoon, at the heat pad again, and then back at Sunoo. He cups his mouth with his hand and whispers much more quietly. "He can’t come to lunch if he’s hurt."
Sunoo knows that it’s probably not the best time to think of ways to get rid of Jay for their barbecue lunch dat—catch up session! But the little kid is right. It’s probably a good idea for Sunghoon to stay at the ice rink and rest. "Hey, Sunghoon," Sunoo calls out to his co-worker. "I think it’d be best if—"
"Riki, your brother is here!" Heeseung calls out. Riki excitedly stands up and runs to the door to greet his brother. Sunoo and Sunghoon share a look. The latter quirks a brow when Sunoo leaves the heat pad on Sunghoon’s leg in order to take off his ugly uniform vest. Sunoo straightens up his clothes and tries to make himself presentable before exiting the kids’ locker room.
In the lobby, Jay was in the middle of a tickle fight with Riki before stopping to greet Sunoo. He looks at him from head to toe and pats him on the head like a kid—definitely not the reaction that Sunoo was looking for, but he takes it. "Wow, you look nice," Jay comments. Sunoo can’t help but shyly blush at the compliment. "Ready for lunch?"
"Ready!" Sunghoon answers for him. He limps from the doorframe to the lobby’s front desk while keeping a grin on his face—half-mocking Sunoo and half-disguising the pain in his leg. "Wow, I can’t wait. I haven’t had a barbecue in a while." That was completely false because Sunoo knows for sure that Sunghoon went drinking with his friends last week. That's why he showed up to work with the remnants of a hangover and barbecue sauce in his mouth.
Jay notices his limp and points it out. "Hey, are you alright? You’re limping…"
"Yeah! I’m fine!" Sunghoon cheers.
"Sunghoon," Sunoo interrupts. "Maybe it’d be better if you stay here to rest. Your leg might feel worse later. We’d have to walk to get there."
"Oh, no we don’t," Jay interjects. "I brought my car today so we can drive there."
Sunoo wants to shout at Jay and tell him that he’s ruining his impromptu plan to get rid of Sunghoon. But he’s not going to be that rude in front of a guy he’s trying to impress. And Sunghoon knows that too. That's why he sports a mocking smile when Sunoo looks back at him. "Perfect!" Sunghoon exclaims. "I would really love to get some food. Maybe a little protein could help with the pain.
"I guess so," Jay chuckles as he balances Riki on one hip. "I’ll just go get my car. You guys wait for me and Riki here. I’ll beep."
Sunoo nods and waits for Jay to exit the building before harshly whispering to Sunghoon. "You’re a piece of shit."
"Oh, take pity on the injured, Sunoo," Sunghoon whispers back with a high-pitched voice. He lowers it back down when he adds, "Besides, why would I pass up the opportunity to witness you fail at flirting?"
"Who says I’ll fail?" Sunoo bites back.
Sunghoon just nonchalantly shrugs. "You’re trying too hard. You’re even wearing perfume, and you never do that because it makes you sneeze." It does. Sunoo was caught in a sneezing fit earlier at the rink, but the kids just found him cute and told him not to get sick.
Sunoo really wants to protest, to tell Sunghoon that gathering blackmail material against him—and potentially jeopardizing his chances of ever having a boyfriend—is childish.Sunoo doesn’t understand why Sunghoon finds his misery so entertaining. They never get to finish a day without bickering or throwing snide remarks at each other. If it were only up to him, he’d be willing to be friends with Sunghoon. He’s willing to call a ceasefire and have a peaceful day for once. But Sunghoon really did spawn from whatever place in hell and decided to make it his life’s mission to ruin Sunoo’s life.
When they hear the loud sound of Jay’s car beeping, Sunoo has no choice but to slump his shoulders down and pray to whatever non-existent deity that Sunghoon would pull back just a little bit with his comments later.
Sunghoon leads the way, albeit still limping, but turns around once more when he sees Sunoo dragging his feet on the floor. He wraps an arm around Sunoo’s shoulder, which the latter couldn’t shrug off, and says, "Don’t worry. I’ll be nice."
Sunoo highly doubts that.
"You’re like a proper adult now," Sunoo comments, as he pours each one of them a glass of water. "You dress like an adult. You own and drive a car. And now, you’re going to start your very own business? Ah, I feel so useless compared to you," he chuckles to himself. He shoves Sunghoon with his shoulders when the latter scoots closer to him, pouting at Sunoo to give him water when Sunoo’s going to in the first place. Sunghoon is doing it on purpose to piss Sunoo off, but Sunoo will do his best to block out Sunghoon as much as he can, even for just the next hour.
"Ah, my parents helped me with a lot of things," Jay admits.
In the few years that Jay stayed in Japan, he told Sunoo that he gradually became more interested in fashion. Everyone valued clothes, fashion, makeup, and beauty in Japan in a more relaxed way than in Korea. There was less pressure to look good in order to appear decent in public, but he found that the culture allowed everyone to freely express themselves. Of course, there are the usual beauty standards that no one’s ever going to escape from, but Jay became adamant to share that kind of culture to his home country. On a personal level, it was also a form of his own independence from his parents. Though his parents have already separated, both of them always do their best to co-parent and they have provided Jay a great life. He had a sure position in his dad’s company if he ever decided to go that path, but his new interest gave him a new purpose. He’s just lucky enough that his parents are supportive.
"Still, you look a lot cooler now than when we were kids."
"You, too, Sunoo. You grew up well." Jay says it with his usual half-smirk that makes him ten times more attractive than he already is. They’re the same age, but the two of them look drastically different. While Jay is all sharp angles and toned muscles, Sunoo retained his softer features that always make people mistake him for someone younger. It has its perks, but he just can’t look at himself in the mirror and consider himself someone cool.
Perhaps it’s not such a good idea to hit on Jay when they’re on different wavelengths.
No, that shouldn’t be his mindset. Jay is a good person, and he doesn’t care about those petty things. Besides, they’re friends. If Jay inevitably rejects his advances, he could at least tell himself that he tried. It’s not going to be the end of the world. He would probably cry very hard, but hey, there’s always going to be somewhere for him out there, right?
His train of thought comes to a halt when he feels a sudden pressure against his cheek. He looks to the side and sees a pouting Sunghoon prodding his cheek with a finger. Sunghoon has his chin propped on his hand, his eyes looking bored after listening to Sunoo and Jay catch up. Sunoo slaps his hand away and throws a discreet glare his way while Jay and Riki go over the menu with the server. Sunghoon, the devil that he is, just smirks in amusement and leans closer to Sunoo.
"You’re so amused by the fact that he drives? Is the bar set in hell?" Sunghoon whispers.
Sunoo slaps him once more on the lap. Sunghoon half-laughs, half-groans. "Shut up, will you? You’re irritating me." When Jay and Riki put the menu down, Sunoo pushes himself away from Sunghoon and proceeds to build up the wall between them again, even though he can feel Sunghoon boring holes in his face.
Idle conversation with Jay starts again, even when the food arrives. Jay volunteers to cook the meat, despite Sunoo’s insistence on doing it himself. Sunghoon steals Sunoo’s side dishes, but Sunoo ignores that too, in favor of listening in on Jay’s little stories. Riki keeps to himself but occasionally says things to Jay, as if he wants to be a part of the conversation, so Sunoo takes it upon himself to acknowledge him.
"Riki, how was our class earlier? Did you enjoy it?"
Riki deflates and looks at his baby potatoes before nodding his head and perching on his brother’s side. Jay laughs at his brother’s adorable reaction and wraps his arm around the latter’s small frame. He places a quick kiss on top of Riki’s head for good measure. "How was it? What did you learn today?" Jay encourages Riki to speak.
At the urging of his brother, Riki smiles shyly but answers with his small voice. "I can balance myself better now. And next time, Momo-san is going to teach us how to turn."
" Momo-san ?" Sunoo asks in confusion.
Jay chuckles. "Right. It’s the nickname he gave you. It means Mr. Peach."
"Mr. Peach?"
"Your cheeks," Sunghoon supplies while poking at Sunoo’s soft cheeks once more. "You look like a peach, especially when you smile or eat."
Sunoo takes it as a compliment and smiles at Riki genuinely, even though he practically ripped Sunghoon’s hand away from him for what seemed like the millionth time that day. Jay confirms it and says that Riki talked about him last week and how much he looked like the said fruit. "He also wants to say thank you for the bungeoppang," Jay adds, before urging his brother to do so. Riki stands on his seat, puts his hands on his stomach, and bows while uttering a soft, "Thank you."
"You’re welcome, Riki," Sunoo replies. "As long as you’re having fun, I’m happy."
Sunghoon cooks the meat next. Jay protested for quite a while with Sunghoon, but Sunghoon said that it was his own way of saying thank you for letting him join them, despite meeting Sunghoon for the first time. Eventually, Jay gives up and hands Sunghoon the tongs. Sunoo is secretly glad for it because it means Sunghoon is currently preoccupied, which gives Sunoo and Jay more chances to talk.
"I’m glad that Mom enrolled Riki to the ice skating class. We wanted him to be more comfortable interacting with kids his age before he formally goes to school next year. Plus, ice skating is a good skill to learn," Jay shares.
"But, hyung, you don’t know how to skate!" Riki loudly interjects, which made Jay bite his lip embarrassingly, gauging how Sunoo and Sunghoon would react.
"Ya, why would you say that?"
Sunoo tries his best not to coo at how cute Jay looks when he’s embarrassed. For someone who has such a cool exterior, Sunoo didn’t expect him to still have some insecurities. "You don’t know how to skate?"
Jay chuckles behind his fist before answering. "No. I never learned before, and that's why I’m a bit envious of Riki."
"You can take classes at the rink," Sunoo suggests, but Jay just nervously picks at the cooked meat on the grill and shakes his head.
"No, no," he says. "It’s a bit embarrassing for a fully-grown adult to do that."
Sunoo furrows his brows. "No, seriously! We have classes every Sunday that cater to teens and young adults. You can make lots of friends and maybe market your business to potential customers?"
If there’s one thing that Sunoo is good at, it’s also the fact that he’s quite a convincing person. He thinks it stems from the fact that he’s an only child and a little bit too adored by his parents. Even as a kid, with only a pout and a good amount of puppy eyes, he could have anyone in the palm of his hand. He doesn’t take advantage of it, though, unless it’s his birthday or Christmas.
So in the end, Jay drives them back to the rink with a newfound confidence as he signs up for his first skating class the following Sunday. What's better than seeing Jay once a week? Definitely seeing Jay twice a week and for longer periods of time. Sunoo can already imagine how cute Jay would look while slipping on the ice and asking Sunoo for help. Sunoo vows to be his most attentive teacher.
They eventually say their goodbyes. Sunoo watches Jay’s car disappear into the distance while he walks back to the staff locker rooms. He sees Sunghoon putting on his uniform vest again while standing on his own two feet like nothing happened earlier. Sunoo thinks the protein from the barbecue helped, but he still asks, "Are you okay for the next class? If not, you know I can do it alone."
"No, I’m fine," he says without looking back at Sunoo. And for the rest of the day, they didn’t speak beyond their classes, which Sunoo found weird, but he didn’t bother to ask Sunghoon any further.
Something feels off, Sunoo thinks. His classes didn’t seem particularly boring or difficult, and he actually managed to find some time to study at the library for his upcoming exams before the winter break. His parents aren’t fighting or anything. And he’s up to date with the drama that he’s been watching for the past month or so. In fact, he’s also excited about the weekend because he’s going to meet his kids and also get to teach Jay how to skate.
But as soon as he steps into the rink, he feels something different, and he can’t place his finger on it.
He ignores it for a while and heads to the staff’s locker room to put on his uniform. He didn’t dress up as prettily today—his outfit is reserved for tomorrow—so he’s not too conscious about the uniform vest. He cleans up the kids’ locker room and then arranges their snacks for later. When he goes to the lobby to greet the kids, he puts on his best smile and welcomes them brightly. Sunhee even runs to him and tells him how excited she is about their class.
And then it clicks when she asks, "Oh, where’s Teacher Sunghoon?"
Sunoo doesn’t know why it didn’t register with him immediately, but his co-worker is, indeed, nowhere to be found. That explains why he was feeling different earlier. There wasn’t anyone teasing him in the locker room or poking his cheeks out of nowhere. He couldn’t hear Sunghoon’s laugh as he told Heeseung a stupid joke. And somehow, it feels weird.
"Hey," Sunoo approaches the front desk where Heeseung is immersed in something on his phone. The latter pockets the device in a rush and attends to Sunoo. "Sunghoon’s not coming in today?"
"Ah, no," Heeseung replies. "He said that today is his driver’s test, so he’s taking the day off. He’ll be here tomorrow, though," he explains. "Sorry I forgot to tell you in advance. Do you need help with the kids?"
Driver’s test? Sunoo thinks it’s such a random excuse.
"No, I can handle it," Sunoo replies. "I’ll just call you if I need anything."
For someone who made fun of Sunoo for finding out that Jay knows how to drive, Sunghoon really is such a hypocrite. Sunghoon’s ego can’t handle the fact that he won’t always be the coolest person in the room. And as an avid user of public transportation, maybe something in him ticked off when he realized how lame he was compared to Jay. He'd never expressed any interest in getting his driver’s license before, so that’s the only reason Sunoo could think of as to why he’s decided to do it now. He’ll definitely make fun of Sunghoon tomorrow.
And he did.
"Did you smile prettily on your ID?" Sunoo chuckles as he pushes off of his locker when he sees Sunghoon enter the staff room the next morning. Sunghoon rolls his eyes much like how Sunoo does on the daily, while the latter gets to laugh loudly this time. " Is the bar set in hell ," Sunoo mocks. "Apparently, even your standards are set in hell."
"Driving a car is an important life skill," Sunghoon reasons as he puts on his uniform. "You wouldn’t know because you don’t have one."
Sunoo’s jaw drops in amused disbelief. "Wow! Well then, congratulations for getting swayed by some guy’s attractive points. You’ve finally upgraded your life skills." Sunoo claps for good measure.
He sees Sunghoon saying something under his breath, but Sunoo doesn’t hear it. He tries to ask Sunghoon what he said, but the latter loudly closes his locker door, startling Sunoo. Then, he looks at Sunoo with a hard gaze until it softens into yet another unreadable expression. Sunghoon is hard to figure out sometimes.
"Are you wearing makeup again?"
Sunoo steps back and turns around to get his skates. "No, that’s just my natural features."
"You’re not wearing a hoodie," Sunghoon adds as he stalks Sunoo back to his seat. "You always wear a hoodie because you easily feel cold."
"It’s quite warm today," Sunoo tries to reason out.
"We’re literally working on an ice platform," Sunghoon quips. "Ya, Kim Sunoo…"
It’s weird hearing his full name be uttered by Sunghoon. It sounds too formal to use between 6-month co-workers who bicker more than converse. And he rarely hears Sunghoon lower his voice to appear more serious. Sunghoon is never serious about anything. But when he looks up to meet eyes with him for the first time that day, he sees a side of Sunghoon that he can’t tell whether he likes or not. It’s disconcerting.
"Stop trying too hard," he says bluntly, with a blank face. "You don’t have to try so hard for someone to like you."
Sunoo wants to tell Sunghoon to mind his own business and that whatever he’s doing for himself to impress Jay shouldn’t be a bother to him because he’s not involved in it. But his words never leave his mouth because Heeseung immediately calls them out of the staff room to greet their students. Sunoo doesn’t waste any more time and makes a beeline for the lobby. He exchanges pleasantries with the students and initiates small talk to lift his mood. He doesn’t want whatever happened in the staff room to affect his performance for the day, especially when Jay is attending his first class.
"Hyung!" one of his students—Jungwon—greets him excitedly. "Is finals week draining the life out of you like it does to me?"
Sunoo chuckles. "You have no idea." Jungwon is one of his students whom he befriended. He’s only a year older than him, and they both attend the same university, albeit in different programs. While Sunoo takes Psychology, Jungwon is under Sports Sciences. They frequently talk and even meet outside of class hours. It’s safe to say that they’re fairly close.
"Sunoo, hey!" Jay greets him as soon as he walks into the lobby. His white padded jacket looks perfect on him just like any of his other clothes, of course (though Sunoo is convinced that even a trash bag would look good on Jay).
"Hi, Jay," Sunoo smiles. "You showed up!"
"Yeah, I wouldn’t miss it." He then turns to Jungwon and stills before smiling awkwardly. "Hi," he says shyly when they meet eyes.
"Oh, Jay, this is Jungwon. You’re in the same class, actually."
"Nice to meet you," Jungwon holds out his hand which Jay politely shakes. "Yang Jungwon."
"Park Jay. I’m Sunoo’s childhood friend."
The two of them look at each other for a beat longer than necessary before dropping their hands and backing away slightly. The sight looks strange, and Sunoo starts to feel something weird in his stomach. He’s never seen Jay or Jungwon look so shy before. "W-well, you can enter the locker room now to change into your skates."
"Right," Jay responds, as if he’s just woken up from a trance. "I actually don’t know how to properly tie them."
Before Sunoo could volunteer to show him, another voice answered for him again. "I’ll show you, come on," Sunghoon says before placing a padded jacket—which definitely does not belong to Sunoo—on Sunoo’s shoulders and nonchalantly walking to the students’ locker room. He doesn’t give Sunoo the chance to protest or argue that he didn’t need a jacket despite it being close to negative degrees even inside the rink where appropriate heaters are placed. In fact, Sunghoon seems to avoid him even during the lessons. To any other person, it might seem like Sunghoon is being his usual fun self, who attends to his students cheerfully, but he doesn’t tease Sunoo or try to piss him off, which is drastically different from how he acts in their other lessons.
He does help Jay, though. A lot . Though he’s really just doing his job, it almost feels like he’s ignoring everyone else to show Jay how to balance on the ice or how to do a certain move easily. At one point, Sunoo even had to go beside Jay just to ask him if he could be of any help, but Sunghoon just told him a quick, "I got it," before sending Sunoo away to tend to less experienced skaters. For the rest of the class, Sunoo suppresses a pout and ignores the fact that Sunghoon is really ruining his chances with Jay, for whatever reason, aside from the fact that he wants to tease Sunoo.
He shows his disappointment after the class while they wait for their students to finish taking off their skates in the locker room. He does his best to throw a venomous glance at Sunghoon to let him know how uncool he is for hogging Jay’s attention. It doesn’t work, however, when Sunghoon just pinches his cheeks and giggles at him. His eyes turn into crescents despite the fact that Sunoo wants to shorten his lifespan at the moment.
"You’re annoying," Sunoo tries to salvage with an eye roll. He attempts to shove Sunghoon off, but the latter now places his palms on Sunoo’s face and teases him further by squeezing his cheeks in and treating Sunoo like a stress ball.
"Is Ddeonu upset? Is Ddeonu upset at me?" Sunghoon mocks him. That nickname is on Sunghoon’s list of blackmail materials against Sunoo. He shouldn’t have known about it, but their boss once threw a birthday party and Sunoo, unfortunately, got drunk. His inebriated and childish actions naturally made him slip out a little too much of his aegyo. Park Sunghoon never let him live.
"Hyung!" The two of them pause when Jungwon suddenly emerges from the locker room. He eyes the two of them with a mischievous glint in his eyes, which prompts Sunoo to push Sunghoon away more forcefully than he intended. He doesn’t feel guilty when he hears Sunghoon groan in pain and instead walks over to Jungwon, who already had his backpack on. "I’ll get going since I need to study for finals week. Thanks for a great lesson again! You too, Sunghoon-hyung."
Sunoo wishes him the best of luck and says his goodbyes before Jungwon walks back to the exit. However, he halts when he hears someone calling out his name. "Jungwon-ssi!" It was Jay. He was running out of the locker room in an effort to catch up with Jungwon. Sunoo and Sunghoon share a confused look.
"Ah, hi, Jay-ssi," Jungwon awkwardly acknowledges. "Do you need help with anything?"
Jay takes a moment to catch his breath, but then he squares his shoulders and awkwardly shifts between his feet. "Uhm… I… The class was fun today. But I didn’t get the chance to get acquainted with you." Sunoo’s stomach drops when he realizes what’s happening right in front of his eyes. "I was… I was wondering if I could get your number?"
Sunoo’s eyes widened and he couldn’t stop his jaw from falling on the floor or his chest from squeezing painfully. Jungwon sneaks a glance at him over Jay’s shoulder. He looks so innocent—and even excited—and Sunoo doesn’t know how to feel about it. On one hand, Jay can hit on anyone he likes, and Jungwon is a nice person to get to know. On the other hand, so is Sunoo! Why didn’t Jay ask for his number? Even as a friend?
Jungwon puts the last nail in the coffin by saying a shy, "Sure," that rings loud and clear in Sunoo’s head. He blanks out for a moment and only registers Jay’s face a few moments later.
"Don’t make fun of me for this," Jay chuckles while scratching the back of his head.
Sunoo looks at him and feels like crying because he understands now that he won’t ever get to have someone as nice as Jay. He says his silent ‘congratulations’ to Jungwon and then swallows back the lump in his throat. "No, it’s cool. I mean… Yeah. Jungwon’s nice, I get it." Jay smiles in relief and pats him on the shoulder before doing the same to Sunghoon to say goodbye. Sunoo watches his childhood crush slip away from his fingers for the second time.
It hurts this time around because he knows he’s got a shot. He just wasn’t able to shoot it yet. Or maybe he did quite a few times, Jay was just not interested.
For the rest of the day, he lets himself wallow in his own misery at being indirectly rejected. His responses to their students are brief and straightforward. His smiles and laughs were more reserved, and when they finished their last session, he felt ten times heavier physically and emotionally. He told himself not to cry because it’s dumb to cry over a guy who he had just reunited with again and who he had seen a total of two times after their reunion. He does keep his pout, though, even while walking out of the building like he’s some main character in a tragic K-Drama.
"Ya," Sunghoon says as he approaches him and nudges him on the elbow."Are you going home now?"
"Yeah."
"Nah, let’s have ice cream," he says. Sunoo can’t guess if he’s smiling in victory at knowing that Sunoo’s attempts to woo Jay have been futile because he doesn’t look up. Instead, he focuses on his shoes and the way they scrape against the cobblestone as he drags himself to the bus station.
Sunghoon doesn’t wait for him to change his mind. Instead, Sunghoon’s cold hand holds him around his wrist and tugs him in the opposite direction. "Come on, let’s have ice cream."
"I don’t want to!" Sunoo whines helplessly. He wants to be angry at Sunghoon, but he just doesn’t have the energy for it.
"Come on, it’s been a while since we last hung out." They’ve never hung out by themselves. They were always with someone else, like Heeseung or Seokmin, and that’s because Sunoo would rather not paint a huge target on his back whenever Sunghoon’s around. The latter is so relentless with his teasing and jokes that he needs at least one other person to balance it out.
Sunoo forces himself to pull away from Sunghoon. His successful attempt made his co-worker look back at him in confusion. "Park Sunghoon, since when have you been interested in hanging out with me? Are you really mocking me in this situation?"
"What?" Sunghoon’s face turns more serious.
Sunoo puffs out a breath of air. "Are you making fun of me because you know that I just witnessed the guy I like hit it off with one of my friends? Are you that cruel?" He really didn’t want to cry, but something urged him to do so. A single tear escaped from his eye, and then he suddenly panicked over the number of tears rolling down his cheeks. Even Sunghoon seemed alarmed.
"Hey!" Sunghoon tries to calm him down. He braces Sunoo with his arms and tries to make the latter look at him. "That’s not my intention," he explains. "I know you’re upset right now, and you can’t go home looking like someone just broke your heart."
"Someone did!"
"He had no idea!" Sunghoon argues. He sighs and looks at Sunoo again. "Look, all I’m saying is, you can’t let your parents see you like this. I’m treating you to ice cream because I know that will make you feel better. Maybe not completely, but it’ll help." Sunghoon surprises Sunoo with his next gesture: he wipes the tears off of Sunoo’s face with the back of his hand while saying, "Stop crying about a guy. He’s not worth your tears."
Ten minutes later, Sunoo is squeezed in the corner of an obscure ice cream shop that Seokmin introduced to them months ago. Sunghoon is right, ice cream won’t fix his problems, but it sure does make him feel better. He forgot how delicious the mint chocolate in this place is. He just keeps eating spoonful after spoonful.
"How’s it like to eat toothpaste?"
"Don’t be such a hater. I feel like shit today," Sunoo says. But to be honest, he’s almost got it out of his system. Jay’s just a guy—a very handsome and kind guy—among a billion others. If no one’s really destined for Sunoo, he’ll just live the rest of his life taking care of cats and maybe some plants. He doesn’t mind being the local cat lady or something.
Sunghoon raises his hand in resignation and gives him a moment of peace. It doesn’t last for a long time just because it feels awkward. "Is it because I’m ugly?" The question catches Sunghoon off-guard, his spoonful of ice cream stopping halfway to his mouth. "Yeah, I think that’s it. I’m not handsome enough for him. Or maybe my clothes aren’t as cool."
"Stop it, there’s nothing wrong with you," Sunghoon says, with yet another serious tone that still gives Sunoo some sort of whiplash. "I told you, you shouldn’t try so hard for a guy. Guys don’t deserve it. We’re trash."
Sunoo snorts. "What kind of woke shit is that?"
"It’s true, though!" Sunghoon says. "Anyway, all I’m saying is that you shouldn’t change yourself for a guy. You’re already great as you are, and if he doesn’t realize that, that’s his loss."
Getting complimented by Park Sunghoon sends a chill down his spine. It’s definitely a rare occurrence, and he doesn’t know how to feel about it. It feels weird, like stepping into a puddle with wet socks on. "Whatever." But it feels nice in some ways. Any kind of compliment is nice to hear, even if it’s from his devil of a co-worker. "I don’t think I should take some love advice from you. You’re not even dating anyone right now."
"You make it sound like I can’t find myself a boyfriend. I’m working on it, okay?"
Sunoo looks at Sunghoon questioningly and chuckles. "What? You’re currently crushing on someone?"
Sunghoon huffs and finishes the rest of his cup. "‘Crush’ is such an elementary term. We’re adults. "I can confidently say that I am currently interested in someone," he emphasizes.
"Who’s this unlucky person?"
Sunghoon rolls his eyes. "I’ll have you know that this person is a lot better than Park Jay, so I can one-up you on that."
What would that guy have that’s much better than Jay's? Definitely not looks or personality, because Jay’s already got a lot of that. If anything, the only thing he could be better at than Jay is ice skating, but even Jay’s weaknesses are adorable. Sunghoon can’t possibly one-up him even in that area.
"That’s not possible. Park Jay is the standard," Sunoo says as a matter-of-fact, though he can’t help but be reminded that he won’t ever end up with someone like Jay, and that makes him a lot sadder than he let on.
"For starters, my guy is a lot prettier," Sunghoon says. "He’s not some Angry Bird looking ass, no!" Sunoo lets it pass even though he can’t see how Jay could look anything like an Angry Bird character. "And my guy is a lot nicer."
" My guy ". Maybe Sunghoon is a lot more delusional than Sunoo thought. He acts like he’s already dating this mysterious guy. He can’t imagine Sunghoon being someone’s boyfriend. He’s too mischievous, and Sunoo feels like he’d just bully his partner 24/7. Sunghoon can be funny at times, but Sunoo doesn’t see him as someone acting sweet, cute, or even cool . Somehow, when he tries to picture it in his brain, he gets goosebumps.
Sunoo doesn’t notice that he’s become silent as he mulls over the thought of Sunghoon dating someone. He only snaps out of his thoughts when Sunghoon spreads ice cream on his cheek before rushing out of the shop. "Ya! Park Sunghoon!" he yells as he chases Sunghoon down the bus stop. He’s glad, at least, that he doesn’t think about what happened with Jay and Jungwon for the rest of the day.
In the middle of studying for his psych exam in the library, Sunoo receives a text from Jungwon out of the blue. It was just a simple "hi hyung :)" flashed on his screen. It feels like he’s being mocked by the old-school emoticon, like he’s being reminded that Jungwon’s the guy that Jay’s interested in and not him. But he doesn’t let that petty thought get to his head. He replies quickly and asks if he needs anything.
"i have a question. about jay hyung"
Sunoo stills. Of course. How much worse can this conversation get?
" what about him?"
"do u know his interests and such? i want to keep our conversations going so i kinda wanna research lol"
"he ’s interested in fashion. but u probably know about that. try asking him about corn hehe he really likes eating corn from what i remember "
" corn? that’s kinda random but thanks lol see u on sunday"
Why is he helping Jungwon again? He couldn’t remember. As far as Sunoo knows, he’s not a masochist, so he should’ve just told Jungwon that he didn’t know anything about Jay since he moved to Japan when they were kids and his interests might have changed over the course of the years. But no, he did answer Jungwon’s question rather eagerly.
He turns his phone off after that and tries not to imagine Jungwon furiously searching through the internet for leather jackets and sweet corn.
His misery doesn’t end there, though. On Saturday, when Jay picked Riki up from their ice skating class, he asked to have a word with Sunoo before he left. "I’m actually planning to ask Jungwon on a date," he says. Sunoo just punches a wall in his mind out of frustration and reminds himself that he’s not a masochist. "But I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable, so I was thinking that maybe you and Sunghoon could come with us?"
Sunoo furrows his brows at the request. "Me and Sunghoon?"
"Yeah," Jay smiles, obliviously. "Like a double date!"
"What?!" Sunoo feels like he’s going to vomit. Does Jay think that he and Sunghoon are… dating ? Even thinking about that word makes the bile in his stomach rise. "I—"
"Come on, Sunoo, please?" Jay begs with puppy dog eyes. "I really like Jungwon and I feel like I have a shot with him. I just need some help. Please?"
Jay really looks adorable with the way he’s looking at Sunoo. It makes Sunoo weak in the knees, and he’s very close to saying yes. But he’s really not a masochist. He doesn’t think he’ll like it if he sees the guy that he likes and one of his friends have fun and be all lovey-dovey.
"I don’t know, Jay… I mean…"
Suddenly, Jay grabs Sunoo’s hands—the very first time he does so out of desperation, and like, ever —and looks at him even more pleadingly. "I’d even pay for the amusement park tickets and food! I just need you and Sunghoon to be there to make Jungwon comfortable and maybe give me some sort of emotional support?"
Sunoo starts to wonder if Sunghoon is secretly a kind of mushroom that spurts out of nowhere because he was taken aback by the sudden but familiar warmth that wrapped around his shoulders. "We’d love that, Jay," Sunghoon chimes in. Sunoo sends him his deadliest glare when they look at each other, though Sunghoon still seems unfazed, and he continues. "Amusement park, you say? Sunoo loves going on roller coasters."
"Perfect!"
"No, not perfect!" Sunoo quickly interrupts before it gets out of hand. "Why are you deciding whether I should go or not?" he harshly asks Sunghoon.
The latter, however, leans down and whispers very softly to him. "Just play along. I’ll explain later." Then he straightens up and looks at Jay again. "We would love to come with you, Jay."
"Wha—"
"Awesome!" Jay literally jumps with joy. "I’ll send you guys the details next week. Thank you so much for this!"
"We’d love to help a friend out, right, babe ?" Sunghoon teases, which prompts Sunoo to not be subtle with the way he shoves Sunghoon with his elbow. Jay didn’t notice it and was already out of the door before Sunoo could even protest.
As soon as he steps out, Sunoo steps harshly on Sunoo’s foot, which makes Sunghoon groan in pain as he navigates to the nearest bench to sit down. He clutches his foot in his hands and screws his face up in pain. Sunoo doesn’t feel the least bit guilty. "What the fuck was that?"
"Hey, I was saving your ego right there!" Sunoo grunts as he massages his foot.
"What?!" Sunoo almost yells in disbelief, but he bites his lip and instead balls his fist just to direct his anger at something. "How are you saving my ego by pretending to date me? That’s disgusting!"
"Ya! What’s so disgusting about that? I’m good-looking! I have long legs! I buy you food! And I’m good-looking! Yes, I said it twice because you know damn well it’s true," Sunghoon reasons out in one breath, his voice starting to sound like a whiny kid. Sunoo can’t see any logic in that at all. Park Sunghoon hates him and makes his life a living hell every chance he gets. Even now, with him agreeing with the double date is such a dumb idea, he doesn’t even understand how he pulled it out of his ass.
Sunghoon calms himself down and speaks again, this time, much more meaningfully. "Look. You’ve been sulking about this guy for a week now. You need to desensitize yourself with the fact that he’s dating your friend. How can you support both of them if you keep avoiding reality?"
Sunoo sighs. "That’s a dumb idea," he says. But when Sunghoon puts it like that, it slowly starts to make sense. Of course, he wants to support both Jay and Jungwon and their budding romance. He wants to be a good friend to both of them. But he does hold back because of self-preservation, naturally. And he’s just never good at dealing with his feelings. "I don’t see why you had to pretend that we’re dating."
Sunghoon shrugs. "Just for the fun of it." That response irritates Sunoo more. "We can always break up if you want to." His face splits into a smile. "And think of it this way, you won’t look like a brokenhearted loser if Jay thinks you’re dating me."
"Yeah, right," Sunoo quips. "He’d just think that I have poor taste in men."
It’s really such a stupid plan, and he can’t think of any benefit from it except for free amusement park tickets and food. The downsides are a lot worse: fake-dating Sunghoon and seeing Jay flirt with Jungwon. Then again, if Sunghoon’s logic works, it might be a good way to get himself used to the fact that Jay and Jungwon are kind of a thing now. It’ll speed up his journey to emotional healing. It sounds dramatic, but it’s true.
Sunghoon’s cheshire cat smile ticks Sunoo off. He knows that the gears in Sunoo’s head are turning. "So…" he draws on while standing at his full height and placing his hands on his waist. "Are you in?"
One day, Sunoo thinks he'll really punch that smug smile off of Sunghoon’s face. It’s giving Sunghoon an unnecessary amount of confidence that doesn’t sit right with Sunoo.
Sunoo firmly believes that when one dies, their ghost will forever wear the last outfit they wore right before passing. Roller coasters and other various rides at the amusement park are definitely fun, but very dangerous. There’s always that risk of having his last breath at the very peak of the roller coaster, right when the cart plunges down the rails. So every time he goes to the amusement park, he makes sure to dress his best. He won’t be stuck with a baggy sweater and loose pants for eternity as a ghost. Besides, he likes dressing up from time to time. He’s doing it for himself anyway, and he’s not trying to impress anyone like Jay, and definitely not Sunghoon.
Still, he puts on his favorite cream-colored coat and a matching shirt underneath a gray vest. He takes his time to put some makeup on lightly and treads carefully downstairs to not alert his parents. The last thing he wants to do is lie to them about him dating Sunghoon. His dad has taken a strange liking to Sunghoon, so much so that he once asked Sunoo if he’d ever considered dating Sunghoon. The answer will always be a million times ‘no’, but he can’t do it now because his parents are acquainted with Jay’s parents, and if their little lie slips, the whole situation will be awkward, especially between Sunoo and Jay.
He spots his parents lounging in the living room while drinking tea. They’re both reading and listening to some dreadful classical music like the wannabe-snobs that they are. Sunoo takes it as an opportunity to escape without raising any suspicions. "I’m going with a friend for a while. I won’t be home until dinner," he announces while quickly putting on his shoes.
"Hold up, who are you going to be with?" his mom asks.
Sunoo snorts. "Since when do you care?" His mom is a sweet lady who doesn’t really give him many restrictions about his social life as long as they don’t interfere with his studies. He can go out on the weekends as much as he wants. He has no curfew. He can even drink alcohol! She doesn’t really ask and she doesn’t really care that much.
"Since you started putting makeup on these past few days," she bluntly says.
Ah, right. Sunoo forgot that he liked the way he looked the first time he dressed up for one of his sessions with Jay, so much so that he just kept putting lip tint and subtle eyeshadow on even when he went to the university.
"You’re wearing makeup again," his mom notes while slowly approaching him, his dad following closely behind. Panic starts to rise, but he tries to squash it down.
He turns his head to the side and puts his bag on. "Yeah, just a little bit to freshen up. Don’t worry about it."
"Honey, are you going on a date?" his mom excitedly asks. His dad doesn’t look too amused behind her, though.
"What? No! I’m just hanging out with a friend."
"Which friend?" His mom presses on.
As if on cue, their doorbell rings, and the three of them simultaneously turn their heads in the direction of their front door. Sunoo didn’t reach an agreement with Sunghoon about their travel arrangements. Sunghoon kept insisting on picking him up, but Sunoo simply wanted to commute. He has a bad feeling about the person on the other side of the door, so he briskly walks to the door and tries to outrun both of his parents.
"Hey." Lo and behold, Park Sunghoon was indeed waiting on the other side of the door with a gentle smile that made Sunoo feel a bit weird. The worst part is that he’s wearing a matching outfit with Sunoo. They needed to get out of there before his parents saw Sunghoon.
Alas, his dad was quick to peek his head out of the door. "Sunghoon?" he asks. Sunoo could practically see him smiling behind him. "What are you doing here?" Sunoo’s dad opens the door wider, despite Sunoo’s attempts to keep it half-closed. Sunghoon politely bows and bids Sunoo’s parents a good afternoon.
"I’m just here to pick up Sunoo."
"Oh, are you going on a date?" Sunoo’s mom follows up.
"No!" Sunoo quickly cuts off before grabbing Sunghoon’s wrist to pull him away from the house. "We’re just hanging out! See you later! Bye! Don’t follow us!" He sprints out of their porch and easily finds Sunghoon’s car in front of their driveway. "Get in the car and drive as fast as you can. Don’t let my parents follow us."
"I don’t think they will," Sunghoon replies, even though he’s doing what he's told anyway.
Sunoo snorts and quickly puts on his seatbelt once he gets inside the car. "You know my mom. You know what she’s capable of doing."
Sunghoon starts the ignition and lets his car roar to life. "You’re right," he said. "Let’s play it cool, though. I don’t want to put us in danger."
True to his word, Sunghoon drives fast but carefully on the way to the amusement park. They turn the radio on to keep the awkwardness in the car to a minimum. They don’t know how to interact without resorting to bickering, so they just decide to keep their mouths shut. Or at least, Sunoo did.
"You look nice," Sunghoon says without looking at him.
Sunoo huffs. "You don’t have to pretend when it’s just the two of us."
"I’m not pretending!" Sunghoon protests. "I’m actually being nice and giving you a genuine compliment. Take it. You don’t even have to say thank you."
Sunoo doesn’t. He also doesn’t compliment Sunghoon back because he doesn’t want to stroke his co-worker’s ego when it’s already big enough to suffocate them in the car. Instead, he focuses on the task at hand. In the next few hours, they need to play the part of a happy couple after Jay mistakes them for one. They’d have to act as such so their supposed double date wouldn’t feel awkward. Now that he thinks about it, they could have just easily denied their relationship, but they couldn’t take it back now, so they just had to survive this day.
"So what’s the plan?" Sunoo asks instead. "You accepted the invitation like an idiot, so you come up with it."
Sunghoon shrugs. "I don’t know. We just need to act sweet and all," he says. "To what extent can I be affectionate towards you?"
"Ew." Sunoo shakes off the feeling of disgust that washed over him when he heard the word ‘affectionate’. It seems out of place and just plain odd. He never imagined himself in this situation with Park Sunghoon in a million years.
"Hey, consent is cool," Sunghoon says. "Endearments are okay?"
"You already called me ‘babe’ in front of Jay so…"
"Alright, hand-holding?"
Sunoo’s face sours. But it would help them look more convincing as a couple. He’ll just wash his hands a hundred times when he gets home and maybe bathe in alcohol for good measure. "Whatever. Just don’t overdo it."
"Hugs?"
"No, unless I initiate it," Sunoo says, making Sunghoon quirk an eyebrow at him. "I mean, if there’s a drastic need for it, I’ll ask you before I hug you. But we don’t have to."
Sunghoon gives him a thumbs up as they make it to their first turn. "So I suppose kissing is also off the table."
"Definitely, unless you have a death wish."
"Noted," Sunghoon smirks.
The rest of the drive to the amusement park was spent in silence. Neither one of them made idle conversation. Sunoo doesn’t know what’s going on in Sunghoon’s mind, but he’s mentally preparing himself for what’s about to happen later. Seeing Jay and Jungwon act all sweet is going to sting a little bit (okay, maybe a lot), so he needs to brace himself for that. Will they hold hands? Sunoo doubts it, but Jungwon is a touchy person. He shows affection through hand holding or being physically close to someone. Would Sunoo’s heart be able to take it? Will Jay reciprocate if it comes to skinship? Probably. He looked smitten after all.
As a warm-up, he draws up a lot more scenarios in his head. Luckily, the drive didn’t take long thanks to the light traffic. They finally arrive at the parking lot and proceed to the rendezvous point with Jay and Jungwon.The latter were already there, sitting on one of the benches and chatting their ears off. Jungwon looks cute with his baby blue sweater, and it's no surprise that Jay looks nice with his black ensemble on. Sunoo almost wants to cry because the two of them look perfect.
Jay spots them first, and he waves his hand to get their attention. Jay and Jungwon stand up to approach them and give their greetings. "Before we pick our first ride, let’s visit the gift shop first. Jungwon wants to get headbands."
"Sounds nice," Sunghoon answers for Sunoo, who still has his tongue tied.
The four of them locate the gift shop easily. Jay and Jungwon walk ahead, the two of them almost brushing their hands together frustratedly. Even Sunoo can see how much they want to hold hands, even though this is technically their first date. Maybe their relationship is progressing a lot faster than he thought. They should just hold hands, Sunoo thinks. They should end everyone’s misery. It’d be much quicker for Sunoo to adjust to the situation.
At the gift shop, Jungwon tries different headbands on and snaps pictures with the rest of them—but more with Jay. Sunoo manages to pull off a genuine-looking smile even though he’s starting to die inside. Jungwon settles for yellow cat ears that suit him well. Then he picks up a black pair that he puts on Jay’s head, letting his fingers linger longer on the side of his face as he puts them back on his side.
Sunoo wanted to scream, partly because it was so cute, but also because he was envious of them.
"Hey, this one suits you," Sunghoon says while putting a headband on Sunoo. He catches a glimpse of himself in the nearby mirror and sees that it’s an angel’s halo. When he looks up at Sunghoon, he sees a headband styled like the devil’s horns. He didn’t stop himself from chuckling, because that definitely suits Sunghoon. Just give him a tail and a pitchfork and he’s ready to go back to where he came from.
They all get their headbands before heading to their first ride. They immediately zeroed in on the new roller coaster that Sunoo had never tried before. "Let’s go!" Jungwon leads while pulling a laughing Jay beside him. It’s like Sunoo and Sunghoon’s presence doesn’t even matter anymore. They could just end it here now, and Sunoo thinks they won’t even notice.
He sighs and accepts that it’s going to be a long day.
Sunoo was about to follow Jay and Jungwon, but then he sensed that Sunghoon wasn’t too eager to walk with them. "You good?" he asks.
"I think I’m going to sit this one out. I’m not good with roller coasters?"
Sunoo snorts loudly. "Seriously? Why’d you even accept this invite if you’re not going to ride the rides?" It was his turn to drag Sunghoon to the direction of the roller coaster. Perhaps he understands now why Sunghoon is so fond of teasing him. The surprised-slash-scared look on Sunghoon’s face is an instant serotonin boost. "Don’t be such a baby."
"Sunoo, wait!"
Sunghoon wanted to protest, but the line to the rollercoaster wasn’t long and they were able to secure their seats before Sunghoon could even have the chance to jump away from the line. Sunoo makes sure to grip his arm tightly so he won’t get away. On the roller coaster, Sunoo and Sunghoon sit one cart behind Jay and Jungwon. The two of them kept laughing at each other. Sunoo laughs alone because Sunghoon already has his eyes tightly shut.
"Calm down. It’s not that bad."
"Yeah, well if I end up dead, tell my mother I love her."
Sunoo shakes his head and excitedly waits for the countdown to start. Sunghoon gripped his safety belt like a lifeline, and when the ride zoomed away, he was practically ascending. Sunoo enjoyed every moment of it. He’s always liked roller coasters and defying gravity to some extent. Plus, it’s an acceptable place to let out his dolphin scream, which is apparently inappropriate in the school setting or even at home because his dad scolds him.
Sunghoon, on the other hand, grew immensely pale and weak by the time the amusement park staff was unbuckling his seatbelt. His knees almost gave in, but Sunoo managed to catch him before he fell. Sunghoon was shaking as he gripped Sunoo’s arm and called for a timeout. The four of them retired to one of the overpriced snack corners and caught their breaths.
"Bro, are you okay?" Jay asks Sunghoon. Sunghoon was still at a loss for words and instead gave him a thumbs up. Jay chuckles. "Alright. Well, let’s take a break. We’ll just buy some food. Do you guys want anything?" Sunoo tells them that they’ll have anything they want to buy.
When Jay and Jungwon were out of earshot, Sunghoon turned to him and said, "I don’t know if this is still within the bounds we set, but if you don’t mind, can I borrow your shoulder? I am getting extremely dizzy."
Sunoo would have said no if it were a different scenario, but a weak Sunghoon is pitiful, so he shows him some mercy and pats his shoulder. "You still don’t think this is a dumb idea?"
"Just give me ten minutes and I will prove to you that this is definitely a good idea."
Sunoo shakes his head in disbelief again but tries to still himself so Sunghoon’s dizziness will subside. However, Sunghoon’s cold hand finds its way to Sunoo’s warm one when he runs his thumb over the bandaid wrapped around Sunoo’s finger. "What happened?"
"Kitchen accident two days ago," Sunoo explains without thinking much about it. "I was baking cookies with my dad when I accidentally touched the hot pan."
"You should be more careful," Sunghoon notes before lacing his fingers with Sunoo’s.
"What are you doing?" Sunoo asks as he tries to slip his fingers away from Sunghoon’s hold.
Sunghoon lazily hums while keeping a tight grip on Sunoo’s hand. "This is within bounds. Also, Jay and Jungwon are making their way to us so we have to convince them that you have a warm heart and you’re currently comforting your poor boyfriend."
"Those are a combination of words I never thought I’d hear in my entire life."
Seconds later, Jay and Jungwon arrive with two trays of food that they place on the wooden table. They got churros and two cups of soda, each with two straws fanned out like the seller’s expecting a couple to drink out of it simultaneously. Sunghoon and Sunoo share a surprised look when they see it. Luckily, it was a good enough excuse to push Sunghoon off of Sunoo’s shoulder as well as to take his hands off of his. Sunoo digs in immediately and ignores the two sodas.
"You never told me you were dating," Jungwon opens up the topic that Sunoo and Sunghoon, unfortunately, did not brief each other upon.
"Yeah, it was just a recent thing," Sunoo takes the reins. "We didn’t want to make a big deal out of it."
Jungwon chuckles. "Yeah, I figured. When Jay-hyung told me, I didn’t want to believe it. But in retrospect, I should have seen it coming. A lot of things just make sense."
Sunoo stops eating midway and looks up at Jungwon in surprise. "What do you mean?" He genuinely wants to know. Sunoo and Sunghoon are the least compatible people on the planet, so nothing is supposed to make sense about this faux relationship. He’s actually surprised at how Jay came to the conclusion that they were dating when they didn’t even give him an ounce of anything related to that at all.
Jungwon shrugs. "Well, the two of you bicker a lot, but Sunghoon-hyun always has a smile on his face and his eyes sparkle a certain way whenever he picks on you, and you actually let him sometimes. I guess it might sound weird, but maybe that’s how you show your affection." Sunoo thinks Jungwon should go see a doctor. "You’re also beside each other all the time, and you started using Sunghoon-hyung’s padded jacket. That should have given it away."
Padded jacket? Oh. Did he forget to return it to Sunghoon? It just felt comfortable that his brain must have tricked itself into thinking that it belongs to him.
"I figured it out in a different way," Jay joins in. "Sunghoon acted so possessive of Sunoo when we first met. He was smiling at me, but his eyes looked like he was murdering me in his mind." He laughs. "Don’t worry, bro. We’re not like that. I like Sunoo like a brother, so you don’t have to worry."
Ouch. That hurt a bit. Yeah. It just feels like he’s been stung by a bee that also happens to be ten feet long. Is it acceptable to cry on overpriced amusement park food? Maybe the saltiness of his tears can balance out the sugary taste of the churros.
Sunoo’s cold hand holds Sunoo’s again and squeezes it lightly. "Ah, well, I’m glad to know that," Sunghoon comments, while looking at Sunoo with a more reserved smile. Sunoo thinks that Sunghoon is secretly sending him some form of comfort, and it helps a little, but Sunoo will still cry over it later in the confines of his own room.
"So when did it all start?" Jay asks. The simultaneous head turns that Sunoo and Sunghoon did was almost comical. They did not prepare for this part either. So for a few seconds, the two of them sputter over their words and nervously chuckle until Sunghoon takes it upon himself to answer this time.
He takes a deep breath and starts. "Well, for me… I’ve… I’ve always liked Sunoo." He’s lying through his teeth, and Sunoo can feel it. "He was a new recruit at the rink and I just… It didn’t take long for me to become interested in him. I mean, who can blame me?" he exaggerates, making Jay and Jungwon laugh. "He’s cute and smart and kind. And he’s great with the students. I masked all of those feelings away by teasing him and picking on him." He pauses. "But I guess when you really feel something powerful for someone, you can’t hide it no matter how hard you try.
"I confessed first," Sunghoon clarified. He didn’t. This is all fake. "He didn’t believe me because I kept doing what I was doing, though I tried to make an effort to show them in more conventional ways, like treating him to ice cream or giving him my jacket." Okay, these parts were true, so it’s easier to build a story around them. "I’m just lucky enough that Sunoo gave me a chance." As he says so, he turns to Sunoo and smiles like he’s the main love interest in a K-Drama. In an effort not to scream at Sunghoon, Sunoo only smiles tightly and turns his attention back to the churros.
"Shall I give you an award for that acting performance," Sunoo whispers to Sunghoon when they start walking to the next ride. This time, they hold hands to keep Sunghoon’s hand warm. It’s still unusually cold and he doesn’t have gloves on, so Sunghoon keeps their entwined hands in the pocket of his coat.
"I only accept things in cash," Sunghoon quips, making Sunoo’s eyes roll again.
The next rides were a lot milder. They rode the carousel and took pictures. Then they rode bump cars and tried out an underwater boat ride that told the PG version of the Little Mermaid. It was quite a dark tunnel, but Sunoo was sure that he saw Jay hold Jungwon’s hand at some point. They didn’t do so after they exited.
They take another break to snap some more pictures together. They even tried out the photo booth, where Sunoo and Sunghoon had to act like the small space between them wasn’t bothersome. Sunghoon kept their picture and promised Sunoo that he’d throw it away later.
When afternoon came, they decided to ride the ferris wheel. It was the most uncomfortable silence Sunoo has subjected himself to in his entire life. But the sunset was a pretty distraction, and Sunghoon decided to let go of his hand inside the car. After that, though, Jay and Jungwon must have had a heart-to-heart talk because they exited the ride while holding hands this time, their cheeks blushing red. The two of them tried to avoid Sunoo and Sunghoon’s looks out of embarrassment. Sunoo avoided looking at them for a different reason.
"You wanna walk in front of them?" Sunghoon offered.
"You said I needed to desensitize myself."
Sunghoon shrugs. "I know. But we’ve been seeing them all lovey-dovey the whole day. I think you can deal with the hand-holding some other time because I’m sure this isn’t going to be the last time you’ll see them like this."
Even though he’s still annoyed at the fact that Sunghoon accepted this invitation without consulting him and even going as far as faking their relationship, Sunoo admits that it had been a fun day. He doesn’t want to ruin it further by wallowing in his own misery at the sight of Jay and Jungwon being an absolutely perfect couple.
So he nods his head and sidles up to Sunghoon as they try to find their way to the fireworks show venue. The night became much colder and darker by the time the park announced that the fireworks show was going to start. Unconsciously, Sunoo moved closer to Sunghoon to get warmer, and the latter asked him permission to put his arm around his shoulder so it would be much more comfortable for them.
"This is not a prank, right?" Sunoo clarifies.
"No. I just don’t want you to freeze to death."
They huddled closer to each other, while Jay and Jungwon did the same. Sunoo watched them out of the corner of his eye, but Sunghoon’s hand blocked his line of vision and turned his head away from the scene. "Deal with that later. For now, watch the fireworks."
The countdown began, and the inky sky was suddenly filled with various lights, colors, and patterns that made Sunoo’s inner child gasp in wonder. He even clapped at the successive bursts of color, even though he could never stop himself from being startled slightly by the sound. He laughs at himself but basks in the amazing show. He shifts his focus briefly, however, when he feels Sunghoon staring down at him. "What?" he asks.
Sunghoon shakes his head. There was a small smile on his lips. "Nothing, I didn't know you liked fireworks this much."
Sunoo shrugs. "It’s pretty."
"Yeah," Sunghoon agrees, eyes still on Sunoo for a moment before looking up at the fireworks. "Pretty." Sunoo felt Sunghoon draw him in closer, but he wasn’t able to process it all after he realized how… differently… Sunghoon looked at him. He wants to say that Sunghoon looked fond, but that’s not an adjective that’s fitting for Sunghoon. Sunghoon never looked at him fondly. It was always so full of mischief, teasing, and the general intention of making fun of him.
Little did he know that that was just the start of everything else.
To put it quite plainly, something shifted between Sunoo and Sunghoon after their double date at the amusement park. Somehow, Sunoo feels like he and Sunghoon bickered a lot less and worked a lot more during their classes.
Sunghoon was also a lot nicer to him. The weekend after their finals week, Sunoo was in such a horrible state emotionally and physically that he almost called Heeseung to let him have the weekend off. But his ego didn’t want him to tarnish his perfect attendance record, so he dragged himself out of bed and forced himself to go to the rink. Sunghoon asked him that day what happened. To his surprise, he easily opens up to Sunghoon about the academic stress he’s been experiencing lately. Sunghoon cheers him on and treats him to lunch to congratulate him on finishing his finals. In return, Sunoo gave Sunghoon a rechargeable heating pad to say thanks.
They also started a new tradition of getting ice cream at the same obscure shop despite the weather slowly dropping into the negatives. Sunghoon still gives snide remarks about mint chocolate, but Sunoo just laughs it off most of the time.
He thinks it’s quite odd, but he also admits that he likes it better than their previous dynamic. It was a little bit disconcerting at first, but Sunoo really thought he’d get used to it.
There’s just one problem, though—they keep forgetting to stage a breakup .
After their amusement park double date , they decided to keep the act up for at least another week because it would seem suspicious if they just broke up out of nowhere. But then the kids heard about the rumor and started making ways to get their teachers to spend more time with each other. Then their older students also caught wind of their supposed relationship. And then everything just kept spiraling down until they had no choice but to delay their breakup and make it as believable as possible.
It got even worse, though, when Sunoo’s parents finally learned about it through the grapevine.
"So when are you going to tell us that you and Sunghoon are dating?" his mom bluntly asked during dinner one time.
Sunoo almost spat out the pumpkin soup right in front of her face, but he decided to swallow it back, only to choke on it. "What?"
"Don’t even try to deny it, Sunoo," his mom warns. "Jay’s mom already confirmed it for me!"
Oh no. They were definitely in trouble. He needs to take control of the situation before it gets worse. He needs to stage a breakup with Sunghoon as soon as possible.
"I’m actually glad you started dating him," Sunoo’s dad interjects. "I like that kid. You suit each other well."
"Dad, you barely know him aside from the fact that he’s my co-worker at the rink," Sunoo points out, but his dad only shrugs and tells him that Sunghoon just has a nice aura around him. Sunoo doesn’t even know how someone can judge another person’s whole personality based on vibes, but he doesn’t argue with his dad and instead tries to gain control of the situation. "I don’t think it’s gonna last," he says dramatically.
"Why not?" his parents asked, surprisedly in unison.
It was Sunoo’s turn to shrug before excusing himself to get out of that weird situation. He calls Sunghoon immediately as soon as he closes his bedroom door. "We’re breaking up," he tells Sunghoon without even saying a hello.
"Hey, babe, chill," Sunghoon replies on the other end. Sunoo should have grown accustomed to the endearment by now, as they had to use it frequently to persuade those around them that they were dating.But lately, it makes Sunoo feel a weird sensation in his stomach. "What’s going on? Please don’t break up with me over the phone. That’s lame."
"Shut up," he whisper-shouts in case his parents are listening in. "We’re not dating for real. My parents just found out about our fake dating thing and we need to end this now before it spirals out of control."
There was a deep sigh that came on the other line. Maybe it’s taking a toll on Sunghoon as well. It’s hard to keep up with the charades, especially when it was just meant to be a one-time thing. "Alright. Let’s break up. But can we do it after the charity event? We’re in charge of the cupcakes. I don’t have an oven at home, so we’ll probably use yours, and it’d be awkward to work if we become exes. "
Sunoo forgot about the charity event at the rink. Every year at Christmas, Seokmin signs the rink up to donate food to the local orphanage for their Christmas party. This year, the rink pledged some cash and promised to shoulder the desserts. Heeseung and Seokmin will prepare Strawberry Santas, while Sunoo and Sunghoon will be in charge of the cupcakes. It would require a lot of work between the two of them, and if they’re using Sunoo’s oven, their parents would definitely get involved as well.
"Damn, you’re right. My parents are all up on my business too. Maybe we can turn this around?" Sunoo thinks for a moment. "Right, if we make the cupcakes here, we can show my parents that we’ve been having problems or something, so that they’d expect a breakup to come soon."
"Yeah, that’s smart. So we’ll break up after the cupcakes thing and then…" And then…Will they go back to how they were before? Will they stop eating ice cream after work and will they bicker again? That seems a bit… disappointing. But that’s how this whole thing will inevitably pan out.
"And then we’ll just go back to normal," Sunoo says with much finality.
"Yeah, okay," Sunghoon says, with a quiet voice. "Just don’t break up with me through a call, because even though this isn’t real , we should do it properly." They both chuckle and say their goodbyes.
He wants to avoid his parents for the whole week, but living under one roof and sharing meals in one table forces him to listen to all their pestering about dating Sunghoon. He really doesn’t want to lie to his parents, so he just keeps his answers brief and vague whenever they ask. His mom is particularly nosy, but also expresses how much he likes Sunghoon.
"My vote, of course, used to go to Jay," she says. Sunoo winces upon hearing Jay’s name. "But now that you and Sunghoon are together, it makes a lot more sense." Sunoo hears that again—he and Sunghoon making sense . He still doesn’t get it. All their descriptions of how their eyes sparkle whenever they look at each other or talk about each other? He doesn’t see it. If anything, Sunoo’s eyes probably sparked with rage when he used to talk about Sunghoon.
Sunoo is thankful that his dad doesn’t have much say on the situation even though it’s obvious that he likes it too. Sunoo still can’t figure out what made his dad grow fond of Sunghoon because Sunoo tells him how much his co-worker teases him. It had no bearings, it seems, because one Saturday, Sunoo’s dad gives him a small bag of Christmas cookies and instructs him to give it to Sunghoon.
"Why?" Sunoo asks with hesitation.
"Christmas is coming near and he’s been good to my son, so I want to say my thanks."
"That’s not necessary, dad. I told you that it’s probably not going to last anyway.:
His dad’s eyebrows furrow. "And why is that?"
"We’re just not compatible," Sunoo says flatly. It’s kinda true too. Despite everything that everyone’s been saying around them, Sunoo doesn’t think he and Sunghoon make an ounce of sense. When they break up , it will be for the better. He just wishes his parents wouldn’t coddle him and think he’d be sad.
His dad sighs. "I just think you’re in denial," he says. "I know this is your first relationship and it might be scary, but you have to do your best too to keep it strong. You have to take care of Sunghoon too, you know? It’s a two-way street."
Dad, we’re just pretending , Sunoo wants to say. But he also doesn’t want to break his dad’s heart, so he just purses his lips and excuses himself to go to work.
Sunghoon loved the cookies, but Sunoo has an inkling that he’s overselling it just because it was given to him for free. That day, they actually exchanged snacks. While Sunghoon received cookies, Sunoo got some peach juice mint chocolate cookies from Sunghoon. Sunoo raises a brow and asks him why he gave him snacks.
Sunghoon shrugs. "You told me last week that you wanted to try those new cookies. I saw them at the grocery store the other day and thought you’d want it."
"And the peach juice?"
"It’s a staple," Sunghoon says. "You love peach juice."
Sunoo couldn’t explain it, but his chest made a sudden stuttering sensation that was new to him. A rational part of him thinks it’s the early signs of a heart attack. While an irrational part of him secretly thinks that it’s just him feeling a bit fluttery at Sunghoon’s actions. He emphasizes to himself that it’s the irrational part of him speaking, because getting butterflies from Sunghoon just sounds like a joke.
But now that he thinks about it, it’s not the first time that Sunghoon has shown him this kind of gesture. He always gives Sunoo snacks, like that one time with the bungeoppang or when he brought Sunoo some ice cream after the thing with Jay. And that time they celebrated Sunoo surviving his finals week. There was also that time when he lent Sunoo his jacket—which reminds him that he hasn’t given it back to Sunghoon yet. Maybe if Sunoo took off the fact that Sunghoon is an annoying piece of shit, he’d actually see a much kinder and more thoughtful Sunghoon underneath—the one who knows all of his favorite things and takes care of him when he can.
He shakes his head and tries to file that ridiculous idea at the back of his mind. They’re probably all just coincidences. He can’t explain how they could be, but they are.
Those kind gestures didn’t stop there, though. Sunghoon also started walking him to the bus stop and listening in to his rants about life. They’d spend lunch time together more. There was one time at the rink when Sunghoon caught Sunoo before making a failed attempt at an axel jump. Their older students teased them about it and how the whole scene looked straight out of the movie. Even Jay and Jungwon gave them a look that was a lot heavier than all the other verbal teasing they received.
Speaking of Jay and Jungwon, seeing them together still kind of stings, but Sunoo is doing a lot better than before. He could see how happy the two of them looked together. Jay always has stars in his eyes whenever he looks at Jungwon. And Jungwon couldn’t be bothered to be more than five feet away from Jay. According to Jay’s accounts, Riki also likes Jungwon too, so everything’s working out on their end.
"How about you and Sunghoon? How are the two of you," Jay asked while he was putting on his skates before their class started.
"We’re okay," Sunoo answers. "I think we’re going to break up soon, though."
"What?" Jays stops and looks at him with bewildered eyes. Did Sunoo say that too casually? He probably did. He should have amped up his acting skills and acted like he’s sad. "What do you mean?"
Sunoo shrugs. "I don’t know. We’re just not compatible."
"Not compatible, my ass," Jay retorts. "You too look great together! He always takes care of you and he looks at you like… like… I don’t know… like he’s never going to fall in love with someone else again."
Sunoo still doesn’t see it. "I really don’t get what you mean. We always bicker and fight."
"Oh, really? I just thought that’s your whole dynamic, being the Tom and Jerry couple. You always tease each other but won’t function well without the other one."
Sunoo snorts. "Hey, I am an independent man! I can function well without him!"
"Sunoo?" Sunghoon goes inside the locker room and finds the two of them sitting on one of the benches. "I got your skates all sharpened up here. I figured out why you slipped the other time. It’s because your blades are a bit worn out. But don’t worry, I fixed them for you."
Jay looks at Sunoo with a raised eyebrow and a teasing smirk, as if to say, "I told you so." Jay then stands up and pats away the invisible dirt on his pants and says, "I’ll just go on the ice and practice while waiting for everyone. I’ll leave the two of you here for a while. And Sunoo," he calls out. "Think about it more, okay? Don’t make rash decisions."
It’s a mutual decision , Sunoo wants to say. It’s all an act, after all.
"What was that about?"
"Nothing. He was just droning on and on about how we looked perfect for each other and yadda-yadda-yadda," Sunoo says, all completely with hand gestures.
"Oh, he said that?" Sunghoon comments.
"Yeah," Sunoo confirms. "He told me that when you look at me, you look like you’ll never be in love with someone else. That’s ridiculous. I personally don’t see it. I mean, sure, you’re getting nicer to me, but that doesn’t mean you never hated me, right? It just won’t work!"
Sunghoon looks up at him with a confused face. "Hated you? I never hated you. Where did you get that idea?"
Sunoo silences, taken aback. "Oh," he says. "But you always make me miserable with all your side comments. You always dig at my height or how I have chubby cheeks."
"I was just making an observation," Sunghoon explains, but looks apologetic all the same. "Those are the features that make you look cute."
Cute ? Since when did Park Sunghoon find him cute ? He hears it from his parents and his friends, but never from Park Sunghoon. Has he always seen him that way? Why? And why does the irrational part of Sunoo feel all jittery again? Maybe he should visit the doctor. He needs to get whatever this is properly medicated before it spins out of control like many things in his life right now.
"I’ll be careful with my words next time," Sunghoon assures him before getting up from where he’s kneeling.
Sunoo ignores the weird sensations in his chest and stomach. He looks at the time and sees that they have plenty of time left before class starts. When he stands up, though, he almost loses his balance. He was, somehow, wearing his skates, the ones that Sunghoon had sharpened for him. How did they magically appear at his feet?
"Did you put on my skates?" he asks Sunghoon.
His co-worker nods and smiles in confusion. "You saw me do that a few minutes ago. Are we in the same place or not?"
"Why?"
"What do you mean, why ?"
Sunoo shrugs. "Why’d you do that? I can do it myself."
"You were too immersed in talking about Jay, so I did it for you."
"Oh." Sunoo wants to argue more about what just happened, but there’s really nothing to argue about. He now, apparently, has a personal slave that puts his skates on him. Personal slave . That’s a bit harsh. He’ll just settle for co-worker .
He mulls over that scene the whole day. He even got distracted a bit during the class because he mindlessly kept his eyes on Sunghoon, who was helping the students tighten their laces. At least he knows now that he’s doing it for everyone else, not just Sunoo. He’s not that special.
After the class, they find themselves walking to the bus stop again. They take different buses, but they spend the time talking about even the most nonsensical of things. Today, they were debating whether a person has one butt or two butts. Sunghoon is firm in his stance that a person has two butts, while Sunoo passionately debates otherwise.
The conversation was getting heated until Sunghoon’s bus arrived. It was unlike all the other times when Sunoo’s own bus arrived first. However, Sunghoon doesn’t take it and pulls Sunoo down to sit beside him again.
"Your bus is here," Sunoo points out, in case Sunghoon misreads.
"I know," Sunghoon nonchalantly replies. "It’s okay. I’ll wait for you to board first."
The stuttering in Sunoo’s chest returns. "Why?"
Sunghoon shrugs. "Just because…"
They watch all the other passengers board the bus, which leaves the two of them alone at the bus stop. Sunoo takes a moment of silence to will the stuttering of his heart to stop. It’s not painful per se, but he doesn’t know how to deal with it. It’s a new feeling for him.
"You changed," he says, after the air around them grows heavier. "After what happened at the amusement park, you suddenly turned into this new person."
"What do you mean?" Sunghoon laughs. Like Sunoo, he leans back on the acrylic walls of the bus stop and lazily waits for the next bus to arrive. Their shoulders and hands brush up against each other.Sunoo notes that Sunghoon’s hands have always been cold for some reason, because he never wears gloves despite the weather.
"Just…" Sunoo starts. "You’re a lot nicer to me now. You do things for me and you tease me less. I mean, the fact that you’re here with me at the bus stop is a sign of that." And clearly, Sunoo has conflicted feelings about it. While it is nice that he gets along with Sunghoon now, Sunoo can’t seem to shake off this other, unnamed feeling yet.
Sunghoon doesn’t reply instantly and instead hums in contemplation. "I don’t think I changed all that much. I always do nice things for you, like helping you out at class or getting things that are out of your reach. I did offer to walk you to the bus stop before, but you never let me until now," he says. A familiar memory goes to the forefront of Sunoo’s mind. There was an instance like that many times before, but Sunoo didn’t want to spend another twenty minutes with Sunghoon after class, that's why he always sends him away. "I guess that's my fault. I did tease you a lot before. But I promise you, aside from lessening my digs at you, nothing much has changed." He pauses. "Maybe you’re just noticing it now because you actually pay attention to me."
Sunoo doesn’t know how to respond to that. It almost seemed like a heartfelt confession. In retrospect, Sunghoon did treat him well. Even his teasing wasn't all that hurtful. Sunoo thinks that if a friend said those things to him, he’d laugh it off. It’s just the fact that they’re from Sunghoon. That’s why he’s been passing extra unnecessary judgment on them and on Sunghoon.
He wonders if he’s ever done something nice to Sunghoon, though, before the whole amusement park thing. He doesn’t count the handwarmers because that happened afterward. He never bought Sunghoon snacks or helped him with anything outside of class. He does help when Sunghoon’s leg feels the occasional phantom pain from his injury, but those are rare occurrences too.
When Sunoo’s bus finally arrives, he thinks of ways to improve his relationship with Sunghoon. After their staged breakup , they could at least be friends, especially when he’s planning to work at the ice rink for a much longer time. He needs to reflect upon himself later and remember what his dad told him.
" You have to take care of Sunghoon too, you know? It’s a two-way street. "
Surely, it doesn’t apply only to lovers, right? Even friends have to take care of each other.
So before getting inside the bus, Sunoo turns back around and looks at Sunghoon. There was a slight hesitation in his actions, but it could be a good step to take.
Sunoo unwinds his scarf and puts it on Sunghoon, taking his time to be careful in tying it around his neck. "As a thank you for treating me well," he says before Sunghoon could even ask what it was for. "Don’t get sick." And then he gets on the bus and tries not to look back at Sunghoon because the sight of the latter wearing his scarf pushes that unnamed feeling back into his chest.
On the 23rd, Sunghoon shows up at Sunoo’s house once again. This time, they didn’t need to rush out to avoid his parents. Instead, Sunoo welcomes him with a relaxed smile and tells him to make himself feel at home. And by that, he means Sunghoon should probably ignore his parents, who keep on hounding them like it’s the first time they’ve seen a human being. Sunoo notices his scarf wrapped around Sunghoon’s neck when he arrives, but he doesn’t comment on it. He also pushes down the weird feeling in his stomach and tells himself to deal with it later.
"Call us if you need anything!" Sunoo’s mom before retiring to the living room with his dad. They don’t need to call out to them because he’s sure that they’re all ears to whatever they’re doing in the kitchen.
"You have a nice kitchen," Sunghoon comments, just for the sake of conversation. Sunoo only snorts and tells him that he’s bad at making small talk.
Surprisingly, the two of them move harmoniously in the kitchen. They didn't talk much and instead focused on finishing 500 batches of cupcakes to be delivered the next morning. It wasn’t an easy feat, but with the rate that they were going, they were going to finish in no time. Or so they thought.
The first batch of cupcakes was a disaster. They didn’t let the cupcakes cool down enough before decorating them. The icing melted in an instant, and they all became a disgusting pile of goop. Sunoo’s dad suggests that they bake all the batches first before decorating later. They followed his instructions, but did not take into account that their oven could only bake 50 batches of cupcakes per hour. So the whole process took them a total of ten hours to finish. Sunoo was so ready to give up, but Sunghoon kept yelling, "Think about the orphans!" and managed to guilt-trip him into working.
It was already 2 AM when they started decorating. Sunoo took care of piping the frosting first and left the edible glitter to Sunghoon. Sunghoon mixed in small Christmas tree sprinkles into the mix and found an efficient way to throw it all together while minimizing the mess. Their failed first batch was turned into an improvised cupcake-cake. They’ll just apologize to Seokmin about it later.
"You’re good at this," Sunghoon comments. "You can open up a shop and sell these."
"I barely have the energy to do that," Sunoo retorts. "I’m just doing this for the orphans, as you said."
They finally finished two hours later. Sunoo wants nothing more than to slump his body down in bed. His eyes are almost half-closed. Sunghoon says they still need to clean up, but there was still too much frosting that they don’t know how to get rid of, and Sunoo’s really not in the mood to fix their kitchen up at this hour. He tells Sunghoon to just go home and pick up the cupcakes later to deliver to the rink. Maybe Sunghoon didn’t want to clean up either, so he just agreed.
Of course, being Park Sunghoon, he doesn’t let himself go that easily. Sunghoon dips a finger in the bowl of leftover frosting and puts it on Sunoo’s cheek. "Boop," he teases.
Sunoo loves eating frosting but hates its disgusting texture on his skin, so he looks practically scandalized when Sunghoon does that to him. "Ya!" He retaliates by doing the same to Sunghoon, but the latter was quick enough to get on the other side of the counter and out of Sunoo’s reach. Before they knew it, it was an all out war to get as much frosting on the other’s face as possible. Sunoo was able to get a few streaks on Sunghoon’s face, but the latter targeted his nose, and Sunoo screamed in annoyance. His reactions only fuelled Sunghoon’s will to annoy him further. Five minutes in and they were still chasing each other around the kitchen, not letting anyone win.
"Stop!" Sunoo half-laughs and half-begs when Sunghoon manages to corner him and spread chocolate frosting all over his face like a beauty mask. His skin will definitely break out and Park Sunghoon is just laughing his ass off about it. He glares at Sunghoon, who was still caught in his laughing fit. Sunoo wants to put up an angry facade, but he sees his own work on Sunghoon’s face. The chocolate mustache that he gave him looks so funny that he eventually laughs on his own.
"Sorry," Sunghoon eventually apologizes when they get back to their senses. "At least we got rid of the frosting?"
Sunoo rolls his eyes. "Such an unconventional way to do so. Let’s clean up before you go."
They left the kitchen a mess, but were adamant about getting rid of the food on their faces. Sunoo felt much more awake after washing his face, and so did Sunghoon. When they look at each other, Sunoo laughs again when he sees Sunghoon miss a spot just below his nose. "Did you not use the mirror?"
"I just washed quickly."
Sunoo reaches up with his towel and wipes the stray chocolate away. Aside from that flaw, Sunoo could see that Sunghoon has bright and flawless skin. Up close, his eyelashes look a lot longer and his eyebrows look thicker. The moles on his face don’t seem out of place, in fact, they draw the eyes in to look at them. His nose is pretty too, and his lips, though a little bit chapped, looked naturally red.
He didn’t know he was staring too long until he looked up at Sunghoon, who had a surprised look in his eyes. Sunoo immediately pulls away and turns around, denying the warmth creeping up on his face. His heart beat more erratically than before, which worried him for some reason.
"I should probably go home now," Sunghoon says awkwardly. Sunoo nods and thanks him for helping out. "I’ll be back at ten to pick up the cupcakes."
Sunoo walks Sunghoon out the door without looking at him. When he sees his scarf again, the stuttering feeling returns. "Bye," he manages to blurt out. Sunghoon echoes it for a moment before disappearing out the door.
Just a few moments ago, Sunoo wanted nothing more than to get a good night’s sleep. But he was far from it now. He’s already put on his favorite pajamas and even lit up his favorite scented candle, but nothing works. He feels too awake, like he’s just had ten shots of espresso all at once. It was getting more difficult to breathe, and his mind was traitorously showing him images of Sunghoon.
Sunghoon’s skin, his eyes, his nose, his lips . Sunoo unconsciously bites his own and when he realizes it, he slaps his own mouth. Where are his thoughts leading to? He should probably stop thinking about Sunghoon and the way his slender fingers fit perfectly into the gaps in his own hand.
"No!" he screams at himself.
But his mind betrays him and reminds him of all the good things that Sunghoon has done for him up to now. His mind reminds him of how he secretly likes the sound of Sunghoon’s laugh, even when he teases him.
"Stop it!" he slaps his cheeks, the ones that Sunghoon likes poking and pinching every chance that he gets.
He finally sits up in frustration, but the first thing that he sees is Sunghoon’s unreturned jacket laid across his chair. And then, finally, all the pieces fit together. The weird sensations in his chest, the effort he’s been exerting to be on better terms with Sunghoon, and even his internal dilemma right now.
"Oh, shit," Sunoo whispers. "I like him."
No, maybe Sunoo doesn’t like Sunghoon at all. A lot of things happened over the past month that must have tricked his own brain into thinking that he had feelings for Sunghoon. There was that thing with Jay, and then the double date, and then the whole "trying to be better for each other" thing. And maybe he’s just getting confused. He hasn’t seen Jay in a while either, so maybe he could factor that in. He’s sure that he’ll feel butterflies in his stomach when he sees Jay again, right?
There’s a perfect opportunity to test that. On Christmas day, his parents hosted a small party with their relatives, so the house was booming with noise from the morning. Sunoo’s little cousins all run around screaming. His aunts gossiped loudly in the living room, while his uncles were well on their way to drinking until they dropped dead. Some family friends also joined the party, including Jay’s family.
"Hey!" When Sunoo opens the door to see Jay with his mom and stepdad, he greets them cheerfully. Riki excitedly jumps into Sunoo’s arms and greets him with a huge grin on his face. He was definitely different from the shy kid during his first lesson. And of course, Jungwon was there too, his hands intertwined with Jay’s.
Sunoo, surprisingly, does not feel anything.
Oh, maybe I have moved on already. That’s a good thing, right?
It’s not, of course, because that only means that there’s a greater probability that he actually likes someone else now. No, he can’t let that happen. It’d be too complicated and weird.
At least he could have one day to spend with his friends and family, and that could be a good distraction away from thoughts of Sunghoon, right?
Wrong. Sunghoon was apparently invited by his dad. Sunghoon picked up the cupcakes the day before, but due to his dilemma, Sunoo didn’t come down to face him and left the cupcakes with his dad. That obviously turned out to be a bad idea because he’s staring at Sunghoon right now, seeing his scarf around Sunghoon’s neck, and feeling like punching a wall or something.
"I don’t know what I’m supposed to give your parents to thank them for the invite, so I settled for wine," Sunghoon shyly admits while handing the bottle of wine to Sunoo. Sunghoon also cares for his parents too which is an important thing to him.
Shit , he curses internally.
Even though they’re supposed to play their part as a couple, Sunoo tries to get away as far as possible from Sunghoon for the rest of the party. It wasn’t that difficult to do so because he was being whisked away by his aunts and uncles to talk about his plans after graduating. The answer is always about following in his parents’ footsteps by going to medical school and becoming a doctor. They asked about his ice skating interest, which he excitedly talked about.
However, with his mom and dad’s urging, his other aunts and uncles also did the same to Sunghoon. They questioned him about their relationship. Sunghoon looked like he needed help from across the room as Sunoo’s uncles started to urge him to drink, but Sunoo backed away and tried to busy himself with other things like… rearranging the ornaments on their Christmas tree.
So for the next hour or so, that’s all he did. When Sunghoon looks at him like he’s asking for help, he tries to ignore it but secretly looks out of the corner of his eye about his situation. Sunoo’s aunts and uncles fell in love with him in an instant. When he got comfortable, Sunghoon started telling jokes, like the lame ones that he shares with Heeseung at work. The oldies eat all of it up. At one point, his younger cousins also dragged Sunghoon out to play in the snow. Even Riki, who’s not all that fond of Sunghoon before, obviously looks like he’s having the time of his life.
Sunghoon’s good with kids too… They should definitely break up as soon as possible because this is getting worse. He’s starting to smile at the sight of Sunghoon!
He quickly navigates his way to the kitchen to get a bottle of cold water to get back to his senses. He downed it in one go and was breathless after finishing it all up. When he closes the refrigerator door, he sees Jay and Jungwon looking back at him from the kitchen counter, both grinning from ear-to-ear.
"What’s up?" Jay asks as he holds Jungwon’s hand, like he’s teasing Sunoo. Before, it should have pissed Sunoo off. But just like earlier with Jay, he doesn’t feel anything at all. Not even a smidge.
"Nothing," Sunoo lies, because he just can’t admit that maybe he’s falling for Park Sunghoon for real.
Jungwon hums. "Your family is in love with him. They got the same look in their eyes."
"What look?"
"The same look that you have for him," Jay supplies. Are they sharing the same brain cells now too? Sunoo doesn’t have whatever that look is for Sunghoon. That’s just ridiculous. He just looks at him like a normal person would.
"You know, at first I thought that Sunghoon-hyung was a lot more in love with you," Jungwon says. "But now that I see you together, I think you’re into each other just the same."
Sunoo wants to say that that’s not true at all. Okay, maybe he’s willing to admit now that he kinda likes Sunghoon. But he doesn’t think Sunghoon reciprocates his feelings. Sunghoon probably just thinks of him as a co-worker. And there’s nothing necessarily bad about that. They were co-workers in the first place until all of this mess started. If the fake dating thing didn’t happen, Sunghoon wouldn’t be here, Sunoo thinks.
It’s just a crush , no matter how juvenile that sounds. And maybe when they break up , Sunoo will eventually get over it. He could just pretend that nothing happened.
His train of thought stops again when his dad calls for a toast in the living room. Sunghoon quickly grabs him by the arm and pulls him to the corner of the room where they’re relatively obscured from the other guests. And then he whispers, "You’ve been avoiding me. I had to deal with your loud uncles."
"That’s exactly why I was avoiding you," Sunoo half-admits. He doesn’t tell him about the other reason, which involves his weird feelings toward Sunghoon.
Speaking of weird feelings, Sunoo’s heart really is stuttering wildly in his chest now that he’s in close proximity with Sunghoon. He could feel Sunghoon’s warmth on his side, and he did his best not to sidle up even closer because he really will have a heart attack. The asshole’s wearing cologne too, like he’s really out to get Sunoo.
One of his cousins gave them their own flutes of champagne to prepare for the Christmas speech that his dad would give. It’s a lame tradition, but he owns the house, so the guests really don’t have a say in it. His dad’s words get ignored anyway when Sunghoon whispers the things that he’s missed throughout the party.
"Your aunties gossiped about one of your uncles’ new wife." Sunoo nods when he realizes who he’s talking about. "Apparently, they all think she’s a gold digger."
"You really shouldn’t have gossiped with my aunties. You’re now on their radar. Next thing you know, they’re going to invite you to lunch to eat an overpriced salad."
Sunghoon chuckles softly. "One of your uncles hates food." Sunoo puffs out a breath because he also knows who he’s talking about. It’s one of his dad’s brothers who was treated like a black sheep because of his own vices. "He offered me a cigarette, but I refused, of course."
Sunoo’s dad was talking about being lucky to have loved ones surround him again, but that gets drowned out when Sunghoon starts talking about the kids. "One of your baby cousins wanted Riki to be her boyfriend," Sunghoon says. Sunoo covers his mouth to suppress the laugh bubbling in his throat. "That’s not the fun part. The fun part was Riki’s response."
"What did he say?"
"He said he’s already planning on marrying someone. You know who?" Sunoo shrugs. " Momo-san ."
"What?"
"Yeah," Sunghoon chuckles. "I knew the kid had a crush on you. That explains why he always wants you to tie his skates or get instructed by you. And also the fact that he hates me."
"Riki doesn’t hate you," Sunoo says. "Why would he hate you?"
"‘Cause we’re together."
Sunoo stares back at Sunghoon, who said those words with practiced ease. Their close proximity only makes his heart beat even faster than before. He almost broke his champagne flute after gripping it too tightly. But he loosens his hold on the poor glass when Sunoo’s dad raises his voice.
"And of course, to the young ones in love," he says while raising his glass. "To Hyemin and Wooseok." He gestures to Sunoo’s newly-wed aunt, who kisses her husband. The kids all close their eyes while giggling to themselves. "To Jeonghan and Seungcheol." One of Sunoo’s cousins got engaged. Jeonghan shows off the ring on his hand while giving his fiance a kiss too. "To Jay and Jungwon!" Jay’s mom adds to tease his son, but Jay only shakes his head and places a quick kiss on Jungwon’s lips. Riki laughs the loudest. "And of course, to Sunoo and Sunghoon."
The two of them stand frozen still in surprise. When Sunoo looks at his dad, he sees a mischievous glint in his eyes. What did he do to deserve this?
Sunghoon gives the crowd an awkward thumbs up and raises his glass as well, hoping that that would be enough to satisfy everyone. But all of them urge them to show a bit of affection. Sunoo looks up at Sunghoon’s lips and starts to panic. This was out of bounds. They didn’t even need to hug yet! Jumping straight to kissing is just a masochistic attempt on Sunoo’s part.
But Sunghoon gives him a soft look and mouths, "Trust me." Sunoo doesn’t know what prompts him to close his eyes and wait for it. He doesn’t want to kiss Sunghoon in front of his family, especially not when they both know they’re lying to them. He doesn’t want to kiss Sunghoon when the latter doesn’t feel the same about him. And he doesn’t want to kiss Sunghoon because he knows that once he does, there will be no going back.
He’s thankful that it didn’t come. Instead, he feels the pressure of Sunghoon’s soft lips on his forehead. There was a collective gasp from everyone, but his aunties found it innocent and cute. They all counted it as a proper kiss and didn’t pester them later on.
Riki loudly cries out of nowhere and runs to Sunoo, asking to be picked up. Sunoo does so and almost forgets the fluttering feeling in his stomach in order to comfort Riki. The little kid was crying loudly and yelling in Japanese. Sunoo could only make out Momo-san and figured that it must be his jealousy acting up. He sees Jay sigh out of the corner of his eye before going to his brother in an attempt to carry him away from Sunoo. Riki doesn’t budge and instead argues in Japanese with his brother. Finally, Jay sighs in resignation and asks Sunoo if it would be okay for him to hold Riki for a moment just to calm him down. Sunoo says yes and steps out of the living room away from the guests’ prying eyes and distracts himself away from the feeling of Sunghoon’s lips on his skin.
The taste of champagne is sweet on Sunoo’s tongue, and it’s a perfect mixture with the ice-cold air on the patio. The party inside the house starts up again, and he needs a break after putting Riki to sleep. His crying fit ended with him falling asleep in Sunoo’s arms. He’s currently in one of the guest rooms, oblivious to everything that’s happening downstairs.
The cold air also gives him some sort of clarity. He knows two things by now, and he’s willing to admit them. First, he likes his devil-of-a-co-worker, Park Sunghoon. Somehow, he feels like he’s always been attracted to him in some way, even before the whole fake dating thing. They’ve been bickering before, but whenever Sunghoon is not around to do that with him, he feels disconcerted, like someone has tipped off the scales. And maybe he was just masking his own feelings too by playing that game with him. He comes to this conclusion because he believes that someone just can’t like someone on the spur of the moment. There are always baby steps that lead to such a big feeling.
But the second thing is that this is all just an act. He and Sunghoon are not together. When Christmas ends, they’ll have to stage a breakup because that’s been the plan all along. There were just a series of obstacles that hindered them from doing so. And even then, Sunoo thinks it was just his own selfish decision to get closer to Sunghoon. They could have called it off a long time ago, but they’re still here pretending in front of their families and friends.
They need to break up soon. This can’t go on any longer, otherwise, Sunoo is afraid he’ll just fall deeper than he should. He can’t afford another heartbreak in the span of a few months.
"There you are!" The patio doors open, and Sunoo hears Sunghoon’s voice. He’s the last person he wants to see right now because he’s just making Sunoo more and more confused. Yet he turns around and looks at him with a small smile. "Your aunts and uncles are relentless. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to get away from them!"
"Yeah, they’ve always been like that, always minding everyone else’s business but theirs," Sunoo says before finishing the remnants of his flute.
"Where’s Riki?"
"Dead to the world," Sunoo replies. "He’s sleeping in one of the rooms. I’ll just tell his mom later."
He keeps his eyes on the distance and tries to calm himself down. Sunghoon’s warmth emanates once more, and it’s clouding his judgment again. If he doesn’t put a foot down, they might end up breaking up after the New Year.
"Is everything okay?" Sunghoon now asks with genuine concern in his voice. He leans against the railings, so he could lean down until he’s the same height as Sunoo.
Sunoo can feel the other staring at him, and he wonders if he does look at him with stars in his eyes like everyone’s been telling them. Maybe Sunghoon is just a good actor because he even convinced Sunoo that he cares for him more than he thinks. This needs to end now, Sunoo thinks. He can’t be a masochist, he repeats.
"We need to break up soon," he says bluntly, still keeping his eyes on the city lights up ahead.
"Oh," Sunghoon sighs. "Why?"
Sunoo is taken aback by the reaction and looks at Sunghoon with furrowed brows, like he missed some kind of memo. Why would Sunghoon ask him why ?
"What? That’s the plan all along, right? We’d pretend to be together so we could chaperone Jay and Jungwon on their date. And then we’ll tell everyone that we’re having problems, which is why we don’t think it’s going to work out. We were supposed to have broken up weeks ago! But we needed to keep it up because of the cupcakes thing and the way you said it’s lame to break up on Christmas!" Now that he says all of them out loud, Sunoo thinks that they could have gone a different route from the very start. They’re all meaningless excuses that he swallowed up. And now, who’s taking the worst part of the repercussions?
Him. Of course, it’s him. He’s the idiot who fell hard.
Sunghoon doesn’t speak for a moment and instead breathes in the cold air. When he exhales, Sunoo can see puffs of smoke escape from his pretty lips. "Is the idea of dating me really that bad?" he asks. He sounds genuinely hurt, which further confuses Sunoo. "Do you really find me repulsive?"
"Stop twisting my words. We both know you never liked me in the first place," Sunoo retorts. "Why does it matter now?"
Sunghoon bites his lips and just stares at Sunoo with a frown. Sunoo doesn’t know how to feel about that. He’s never seen Sunghoon look so disappointed ? Sad ? Why would he be? He’s not the one who’s having this weird inner dilemma right now!
"And what if I did?" Sunghoon asks. "What if I did like you? Shit, what if I liked you now after all of this?"
Sunoo can’t even comprehend the plausibility of that happening. Sunoo didn’t change much. He didn’t become kinder to Sunghoon, and he stopped dressing up. There’s no trigger that could change Sunghoon’s mind from before.
Sunoo snorts. "Stop it. Like that would ever happen."
"Yeah, well, it did."
Sunoo freezes, unsure of how to take all of this information in. It’s like he’s being pushed straight to the edge of a precipice.
"What?"
"I like you," Sunghoon says bluntly. "I’ve always liked you."
"You’re lying."
"Why would I be?" Sunghoon raises his voice in desperation. "Think about it, Sunoo. You’re smart. Why am I even having this argument with you right now? Why do I look so desperate to keep this act up?"
Sunoo purses his lips. The beating in his chest is incomprehensible right now. He doesn’t know what to feel. Is he surprised? Happy? Confused? But Sunghoon looks so hurt and if he really were acting, Sunoo thinks he deserves to get an Oscar.
"I like you," he echoes with a more broken voice this time. "Ever since you worked at the rink, I’ve always been interested in you. I’ve always made moves on you, but you shut them down. You don’t look my way the way I look yours. When you see me, you only see me as a co-worker, not even a friend. You only pay attention when we bicker and fight. Even in those moments, I feel happy because you actually give me a bit of your time.
"The small gifts I give, all the kind acts—I’ve done all of them because I like you. And I wanted you to see me beyond our professional relationship. God, I even had to make an excuse to do this fake dating thing!" Sunghoon steps back and looks down at his feet. Then he huffs and chuckles without humor. "But I guess, you really won’t see me as anything other than the guy who wears the uniform vest and spins on the ice. If you’re so repulsed by the fact that you’re dating me, then…"
He looks up at Sunoo with unshed tears. "Let’s follow up with the plan. Let’s break up now if you want to."
That’s what Sunoo wanted all along, right? To end this charade? But now that the decision came from Sunghoon, he can’t help but feel hurt, especially when he heard all about that confession. He’s not even sure if it’s true. He can’t imagine Sunghoon liking him all this time. So all the bottles of peach juice, the packs of bungeoppang, the ice cream, the conversations at the bus stop, tying the laces of his skates… all of them. Sunghoon did all of them because he wanted to show Sunoo that he cared. He wanted to show how he really felt, beyond their snide remarks at each other.
He just stares at Sunghoon, unable to say anything. He suddenly feels the mark of Sunghoon’s kiss on his forehead earlier. If he really didn’t care about him and his boundaries, Sunghoon would have gone for the lips, but he didn’t. It’s just a simple gesture, but it makes Sunoo’s heart swell.
He wakes up from his trance when he sees Sunghoon walking back to the patio door, but he stops him when his hand unconsciously grabs Sunghoon’s wrist. "Wait," he pleads. Sunghoon doesn’t turn back around. "If you’re lying right now, I swear to God, I won’t ever forgive you."
Sunghoon looks back at him with an offended look on his face. "Why would I lie about that? I don’t particularly want you to see me act all vulnerable, you know?"
"Sunghoon."
"I said what I said. And if you really don’t feel the same way, I’ll just get over you."
He tries to pull away from Sunoo, but Sunoo uses both of his hands to pull him back. He stumbles backward, but quickly regains his balance. "Can you wait a second?! God! You’re confusing me!"
Sunghoon’s face morphs into surprise and confusion, and he slowly walks toward Sunoo, still keeping a significant space between them. "What? What do you mean?" he asks with a small but firm voice.
Sunoo groans and steps back to cover his face with his hands. He squats down to regain some self-control before quickly slapping his cheeks. Then he straightens up again and looks up at Sunghoon. "So you’re telling me that everything, every single thing between us for the past six months, all those times you’ve liked me?"
"Yes, do I have to say it a million times so you’ll get it?"
Sunoo rolls his eyes and ignores the side comment. "And right now? You’re telling me that even right now you like me too?"
Something flashes in Sunghoon’s eyes, and he moves closer to Sunoo to look at him properly. "Yes," he says in an almost-whisper. "Why am I confusing you?"
"What?"
"You said I’m confusing you," he reiterates. "Why?"
Sunoo swallows the lump in his throat. He didn’t mean to slip up like that. Judging by the way Sunghoon looks less accusatory towards him, Sunoo thinks that Sunghoon might have gotten the clue. He loosened his grip on Sunghoon’s wrists, but Sunghoon only did the same to him. He holds Sunoo’s wrists and the bottom of his hands gently, his cold fingers slightly shaking from the cold or maybe even nerves. But his cold hands were nearly imperceptible to Sunoo, with the way his skin started to burn at Sunghoon’s touch.
He’s down bad.
Sunghoon looks at him again pleadingly. "Sunoo…"
"Yes, okay!" Sunoo yells while keeping his head down. "I caught feelings!" He feels Sunghoon still his breathing. "You’ve been so nice to me that I forgot that all of this was just supposed to be an act. And then when I couldn’t deal with my feelings anymore, I just shut down and wanted us to follow through with the breakup because if I keep doing this with you, I’m scared that I might fall even harder! Are you happy now?"
Sunghoon doesn’t reply, but Sunoo hears him take a lungful of breath before pulling Sunoo in and wrapping him in his arms. Sunoo was close to having a heart attack, but being embraced by Sunghoon after their respective confessions was the sort of comfort that he didn’t know he needed.
"Yeah, happy," Sunghoon whispers in his hair. "So, are we going to make this real or do you still want to break up with me?"
Sunoo groans. Despite his tough resolve, he softens up altogether now that he knows that his feelings are finally reciprocated. And he also thinks that Sunghoon’s cologne has a significant contribution to that as well. He smells nice and comforting, even with the lingering scent of champagne.
"I don’t know. I told you, you’re confusing me."
Sunghoon chuckles. "Well, do you want to date me for real?"
It’s so cheesy, he feels like throwing up. But maybe that’s also the butterflies fluttering wildly in his stomach. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, but he nodded against the soft fabric of Sunghoon’s Christmas sweater. He felt Sunghoon hug him tighter after that.
"Can I still call you babe ?"
"Do you want me to die of a heart attack?" Sunoo quips, even though he got used to the endearment long ago.
Slowly, Sunoo raises his arms to wrap them around Sunghoon too. He feels like he can breathe freely now that they’ve cleared up everything. He still has a lot of questions in his mind, but he saves them for later. For now, he basks in Sunghoon’s warmth and slaps himself mentally for being so oblivious.
Sunghoon pulls back slightly and smiles wolfishly at him. Sunoo rolls his eyes and pushes him away by the cheek. "Stop smiling like that. You’re annoying."
"Just admit that you kinda like it when I tease you."
"Never in a million years," Sunoo replies.
They both chuckle until Sunghoon looks at him fondly again, as if he wants to say something, but doesn’t follow through with it. Sunoo turns away to hide his blushing cheeks, but Sunghoon only surprises him by placing a kiss on Sunoo’s plump cheek.
Sunoo pushes back in surprise, but Sunghoon keeps him caged in his arms. "Hey! What was that for?"
"Sorry," Sunghoon grins. "I’ve always wanted to do that. Your cheeks are my favorite."
"What kind of bullshit is that?" Sunghoon laughs again and squeezes one of Sunoo’s cheeks for good measure.
"Even when you’re angry at me, you look adorable."
"Stop saying corny things."
"It’s true, though."
"Shut up," Sunoo half-whines out of embarrassment. He likes getting complimented, but it hits differently when it comes to Sunghoon. It’s like he’s being punched in the stomach, but the fist is actually made of butterflies and rainbows.
Eventually, Sunoo’s hands land on a familiar texture on Sunghoon’s chest. It was the scarf he gave him before. His stomach does a flip at the thought of Sunghoon cherishing it for him. He wonders if Sunghoon’s heart stutters every time he wears it too, the way Sunoo does when he puts on Sunghoon’s jacket sometimes.
"Thanks for the scarf, by the way," Sunghoon whispers. "It’s really keeping me warm."
"That’s good," Sunoo says, while maintaining eye contact.
His hands must have been possessed or something, or maybe he just needs to admit that he’s been fantasizing about this scene happening lately, but he slowly and gently pulls the scarf down until Sunghoon’s face was just inches away from him.
"Is this okay?" Sunghoon asks, his warm breath touching Sunoo’s skin.
Sunoo nods and lets himself be a little bit selfish. It’s Christmas, and Park Sunghoon has subjected him to a lot of mental stress lately that he needs to take responsibility for. Plus, it’s better to do it here than in front of his nosy relatives. He sees Sunghoon smile smugly before closing his eyes and letting the latter kiss him properly on the lips.
It feels nice, especially when Sunghoon circles his arms around his waist and he pulls Sunoo closer to him. Sunoo puts his arms around Sunghoon’s neck too, just perched above the scarf so he could hold him tighter, but also to keep his balance because his knees are starting to get weaker and weaker by the minute as Sunghoon deepens their kiss.
Downstairs, the rest of the family sings along to a Christmas carol while his dad plays the piano.