Chapter 1: Welcome to the chaos!
Chapter Text
10:00 pm
Oh no not the emo kids
The Dark Lord was added to the chat
The Dark Lord: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat?
Hug Dealer: 😠 language
Bootleg Snow White: Yeah watch your fucking language
DROP THE BASS: OKAY WHO TAUGHT KODA THE FUCK WORD?!
extraORDINARY: “The fuck word”
Cooking by the book: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time
Bootleg Snow White: Oh my god he censored it
extraORDINARY: Say fuck, Sato!
Bootleg Snow White: Do it, Sato! Say fuck!
Cooking by the book: No.
The Dark Lord: Why the fuck not?
Hug Dealer: Tokoyami!
DROP THE BASS: Dude you just said fuck again!
Hug Dealer: Jiro!
Bootleg Snow White: fuck
Hug Dealer: Koda?!
extraORDINARY: What’s the big deal? It doesn’t hurt anybody! Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck!
Hug Dealer: Oh my god…
Cooking by the book: How would you all like to drop this?
extraORDINARY: How would you like to suck my balls?
The Dark Lord: …
DROP THE BASS: lol
Cooking by the book: …
Cooking by the book: Imma go back to baking before this turns into an entire South Park episode
Bootleg Snow White: 😂
DROP THE BASS: Son of a fuuuuu
Hug Dealer: Language.
DROP THE BASS: Fuuuun
Hug Dealer: Thank you.
DROP THE BASS: Shoot dangit!
Hug Dealer: Don’t test me.
DROP THE BASS: ass
Hug Dealer: I DID NOT CREATE THIS CHAT TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS!
The Dark Lord: SO IT WAS YOU!
extraORDINARY: Yo this chat is great. I love it already 😂
Bootleg Snow White: Thank you Shoji for forcing this upon us all
extraORDINARY: Alright in all seriousness, Shoji why do you have a problem with cursing? And Tokoyami why are you so against the group chat?
DROP THE BASS: Looking like Iida and Bakugo up in here
The Dark Lord: I’m not, I’m honestly just fucking around because I am bored and sleep deprived
Bootleg Snow White: Yo same!
DROP THE BASS: MOOD!
Hug Dealer: Well someone has to be. Sato won’t because he’s too much of a pansy to go near curses
Cooking by the book: I READ THAT!
Hug Dealer: Oh shit
Hug Dealer: WAIT-
extraORDINARY: LMFAO
DROP THE BASS: WHOO WE GOTTEM BOYS!
Bootleg Snow White: ONE OF US ONE OF US
The Dark Lord: You have no choice Sato, you will join the dark side!
Cooking by the book: Yeah but, I have cookies
The Dark Lord: Fucking fair
Bootleg Snow White: pussy
Cooking by the book: Look, if I curse once, just once, will you idiots drop it?
Bootleg Snow White: Yes.
Cooking by the book: Fine.
extraORDINARY: Oh baby’s first curse!
DROP THE BASS: Drumroll please!
The Dark Lord: 🥁
Cooking by the book: Heck
Hug Dealer: Pff
The Dark Lord: Aw what?
extraORDINARY: That doesn’t count!
DROP THE BASS: BOOOOO
Hug Dealer: How’d this chat go from Tokoyami not wanting to be here to everyone cursing and demanding Sato to curse?
DROP THE BASS: Because we’re class A at UA, and life is a fucking nightmare!
Bootleg Snow White: 👏👏👏
The Dark Lord: AMEN
extraORDINARY: I tip my hat to you 🎩
Hug Dealer: I’ll dab to that
extraORDINARY: Yo How do you dab with that many arms?
Cooking by the book: Mega dab
Bootleg Snow White: Ultra dab
Hug Dealer: Alpha dab
extraORDINARY: Omega dab
The Dark Lord: The dab behind the slaughter
Hug Dealer: Oh no
DROP THE BASS: ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE LAST IVE SEEN MY SON LOST TO THIS MONSTER
The Dark Lord: SINCE YOUVE BEEN GONE IVE BEEN SINGING THIS STUPID SONG SO I COULD PONDER THE SANITY OF YOUR MOTHER
Cooking by the book: Very strong love for Fnaf, noted
extraORDINARY: Next time we have pizza, let’s just start singing Fnaf songs and confuse the hell out of the rest of the class
Bootleg Snow White: I’m in
Hug Dealer: Alright, bet
DROP THE BASS: Ten bucks, someone else catches on and joins in
The Dark Lord: Pretty sure the only person in this god forsaken class that doesn’t know what Five Nights at Freddy’s is Iida
Cooking by the book: I would assume Todoroki
The Dark Lord: No, Dark Shadow heard him say; “I would rather spend Five nights at Freddy’s then one minute with Endevor”
DROP THE BASS: HE DID NOT!
extraORDINARY: LMFAO
Hug Dealer: That’s it, I’m done. I’m going to bed. Goodnight everyone!
extraORDINARY: Night Shoji!
Bootleg Snow White: Yeah, I think I’m gonna try and sleep too. Night!
DROP THE BASS: Night guys
The Dark Lord: Good night, sleep tight
The Dark Lord: Don’t let the demons drag you down to hell
Cooking by the book: Oh my god. Good night
7:00 am
Bootleg Snow White: SATO DROPPED A PAN AND SAID “Oh shit!”
Cooking by the book: I DID NOT HAVE TO BE CALLED OUT LIKE THIS!
DROP THE BASS: YAAAAS
extraORDINARY: GOT EM
The Dark Lord: ONE OF US ONE OF US
Hug Dealer: Oh my god, you guys are actually insane lol
Chapter 2: Apply juice and Middle fingers
Chapter Text
Oh no not the emo kids
The Dark Lord: [Jpeg: super low quality photo]
Hug Dealer: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents
The Dark Lord: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Bootleg Snow White: Actually I did the math, Shoji would have $225, not $0.15
Hug Dealer: Fam I’m right here....
DROP THE BASS: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda
The Dark Lord: While you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please?
DROP THE BASS: Sorry I only have a dollar
The Dark Lord: ☹️
Bootleg Snow White: Hey I just realized Shoji would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
DROP THE BASS: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Bootleg Snow White: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
extraORDINARY: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Bootleg Snow White: Apply juice to what?
Cooking by the book: Directly to the forehead
Hug Dealer: Great chat everyone
DROP THE BASS: WHAT CAN I SAY EXCEPT YOUR WELCOME?!
Cooking by the book: Is no one gonna ask what Tokoyami was trying to send?
The Dark Lord: I was trying to send a meme of some kind but my camera glitched out. Hold on, I have a better one
extraORDINARY: Remember kids, when Tokoyami says meme, he either means Dank or Dark
Bootleg Snow White: That’s sounds like a game show lol
The Dark Lord: [Jpeg: Tokoyami giving a middle finger to the camera]
extraORDINARY: LMFAO
The Dark Lord: HOW YA LIKE ME NOW?!
DROP THE BASS: TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME BITCH!
DROP THE BASS: [Jpeg: Jiro giving a middle finger to the camera and sticking her tongue out]
DROP THE BASS: BOOM
Bootleg Snow White: [Jpeg: Koda smiling a bit too happily while giving a middle finger to the camera]
Cooking by the book: Fuck it, if Koda’s joining
Cooking by the book: [Jpeg: Sato giving the camera a middle finger]
Cooking by the book: So am I!
The Dark Lord: Have thou just cursed my good man?
Cooking by the book: Shut up!
The Dark Lord: Ok!
extraORDINARY: [Jpeg: Ojiro holding the camera with his tail and giving it two middle fingers]
extraORDINARY: How bout two?
The Dark Lord: [Jpeg: Dark Shadow grinning and giving the camera two middle fingers]
The Dark Lord: Dark Shadow wanted to join
Cooking by the book: Very nice.
DROP THE BASS: Guys, Shoji’s been awful quiet
Hug Dealer: You dare challenge ME?!
Hug Dealer: [Jpeg: Shoji giving the camera six middle fingers]
The Dark Lord: LMAO should’ve known
extraORDINARY: Of course you did!
Bootleg Snow White: Ok Shoji won!
Cooking by the book: Was it even a competition with the octopus?
DROP THE BASS: EVERYONE BOW DOWN!
Bootleg Snow White: 🙇 🤴
Hug Dealer: YES IM THE MASTER OF MIDDLE FINGERING!
extraORDINARY: LMFAO
The Dark Lord: PFFF SHOJI NO!
Hug Dealer: What?
Hug Dealer: OH!
Hug Dealer: I DIDNT MEAN IT LIKE THAT I SWEAR!
Cooking by the book: Alright I’m out lol
Chapter 3: Musical Bitch
Chapter Text
Oh no not the emo kids
DROP THE BASS: SHAWTY HAD THEM APPLE BOTTOM JEANS!
Bootleg Snow White: JEANS!
The Dark Lord: BOOTS WITH THE JEANS!
extraORDINARY: WITH THE JEANS?!
Hug Dealer: THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKING AT JEANS!
Cooking by the book: SHE HIT THE JEANS!
The Dark Lord: SHE HIT THE JEANS?!
DROP THE BASS: NEXT THING YOU JEANS! SHAWTY GOT JEANS
Bootleg Snow White: JEANS
The Dark Lord: JEANS
Hug Dealer: JEANS
extraORDINARY: JEANS
Cooking by the book: JEANS
DROP THE BASS: BAGGY SWEAT PANTS
Bootleg Snow White: IN THE REEBOKS WITH THE PANTS!
extraORDINARY: WITH THE PANTS?!
Hug Dealer: SHE TURNED AROUND AND GAVE THAT BIG BOOTY A PANTS!
Cooking by the book: SHE HIT THE PANTS!
The Dark Lord: SHE HIT THE PANTS?!
DROP THE BASS: NEXT THING YOU PANTS SHAWTY GOT
Bootleg Snow White: PANTS
The Dark Lord: PANTS
Hug Dealer: PANTS
extraORDINARY: PANTS
Cooking by the book: PANTS
The Dark Lord: I AINT NEVER SEEN JEANS
extraORDINARY: Yo what the actual fuck are we doing?
DROP THE BASS: Crack!
Cooking by the book: At this point? I’d believe.
Bootleg Snow White: YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE YOUR EYES!
The Dark Lord: IF TEN MILLION FIREFLIES!
Hug Dealer: LIT UP THE WORLD AS I FELL ASLEEP!
DROP THE BASS: SWEET DREAMS ARE MADE OF THESE!
extraORDINARY: WHO AM I TO DISAGREE?!
Cooking by the book: TRAVEL THE WORLD AND THE SEVEN SEAS!
The Dark Lord: EVERYBODY LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
Hug Dealer: SOME-
extraORDINARY: oh no-
Hug Dealer: BODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME!
Cooking by the book: I AINT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
DROP THE BASE: SHE WAS LOOKING KINDA DUMB WITH HER PINKY AND HER THUMB!
The Dark Lord: IN THE SHAPE OF AN L ON HER FOREHEAD
Bootleg Snow White: THIS MAILBOX IS MINE!
Cooking by the book: AND THIS TRIAGONAL SIGN!
DROP THE BASS: THAT BLUE BALLOON!
Hug Dealer: THE MONTH OF JUNE!
The Dark Lord: THEYRE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!
Cooking by the book: THESE SWEETS ARE MINE!
Bootleg Snow White: THAT BIRDIE’S TWEETS ARE MINE!
DROP THE BASS: THE CITY STREETS!
Hug Dealer: THE BOTH OF YOUR FEET
The Dark Lord: THEYRE ALL EMPATHICALLY MINE!
DROP THE BASE: Guys, Ojiro’s been typing for a while. Think we should be worried?
Cooking by the book: Knowing our chaos? Yes.
extraORDINARY: I WAS A GIRL IM THE VILLAGE DOING ALRIGHT THEN I BECAME A PRINCESS OVERNIGHT NOW I GOTTA FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO IT RIGHT SO MUCH TO LEARN AND SEE UP IN THE CASTLE WITH MY NEW FAMILY IN A SCHOOL THATS JUST FOR ROYALTY A WHOLE ENCHANTED WORLD IS WAITING FOR ME IM SO EXCITED TO BE SOFIA THE FIRST IM FINDING OUT WHAT BEING ROYAL’S ALL ABOUT MAKING MY WAY ITS AN ADVENTURE EVERYDAY ITS GONNA BE MY TIME TO SHOW THEM ALL THAT IM SOFIA THE FIRST!
The Dark Lord: LMFAO
Hug Dealer: OMFG
Bootleg Snow White: YOU DID NOT JUST TYPE OUT THE LYRICS TO SOFIA THE FIRST IN ALL CAPS!
extraORDINARY: Maybe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Chapter 4: R.I.P Dave
Notes:
I have a headache, wanted to write a fic, saw a TikTok, wrote this
Chapter Text
Bootleg Snow White: Dave just fucking died!
Cooking by the book: Who’s Dave?
Bootleg Snow White: The guy we had in our basement.
Cooking by the book: Oh. Ok.
Cooking by the book: [Jpeg: A cheesecake with chocolate syrup]
Cooking by the book: Chesecak 🤤
Bootleg Snow White: Chesecak 🤤
extraORDINARY: Guys wtf
Hug Dealer: I thought Mineta was the guy in our basement?
DROP THE BASS: WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT MINETA!
The Dark Lord: The bitch was sacrificed to lords darker then myself long ago
extraORDINARY: Bro what?
The Dark Lord: 😇
extraORDINARY: Aaaaand I’m out
Cooking by the book: [Jpeg: Now empty plate with cheesecake crumbs]
Cooking by the book: Chesecak al gon
Hug Dealer: Did you just eat an entire cheesecake by yourself?
Cooking by the book: No.
Cooking by the book: [Jpeg: Koda with cheesecake crumbs on his face]
Cooking by the book: Koda helped.
Bootleg Snow White: I did.
DROP THE BASS: Plot twist: The Chesecak WAS Dave
Hug Dealer: Oh shit
Chapter 5: The dead of night
Summary:
I am stressed as shit and I’m writing a lot of angst and the moment so have this crack I slapped together in half an hour
Chapter Text
1:00 am
Oh no not the emo kids
The Dark Lord: Aight who’s still awake sound off
DROP THE BASS: Me!
Hug Dealer: Me, but I wish I wasn’t
The Dark Lord: The usual suspects Aw yis
DROP THE BASS: What’s wrong Shoji? Is Bakugo throwing a tantrum or is Kirishima doing one of his late night workouts?
Hug Dealer: Neither, just can’t sleep. What about you two?
DROP THE BASS: Eh just browsing through more songs for my playlist, looked up, it was past midnight lol
Hug Dealer: Well just be glad it’s a weekend lol
DROP THE BASS: Also, I could listen to Tommee Profitt’s “Welcome to the Jungle” all night
Hug Dealer: I’ll be sure to check it out
The Dark Lord: ILL SLEEP WHEN IM DEAD BITCHES
Hug Dealer: …
DROP THE BASS: …Hi Dark Shadow
The Dark Lord: Aw what howd you know it was me
DROP THE BASS: Because Tokoyami doesn’t talk like that.
Hug Dealer: And he never makes grammar or punctuation mistakes.
The Dark Lord: Aw sheet well since the secret be out
The Dark Lord changed their name to The Dank Lord
Hug Dealer: Pff
DROP THE BASE: Dude, why?
The Dank Lord: Because yis
DROP THE BASE: Fair enough. So where’s Tokoyami?
The Dank Lord: Passed out an hour ago after watching a scary movie
The Dank Lord: It sucked btw
Hug Dealer: Considering your favorite movie is Birds of Prey
The Dank Lord: Ay fuck you man
Hug Dealer: Kinky
The Dank Lord: And for your information we watched Jaws 3D
Hug Dealer: Nevermind, your opinion is valid
DROP THE BASS: Could NOT take that movie seriously with the horrible CGI
Hug Dealer: Don’t forget the fact that the dude was in the shark’s mouth for like an hour and was somehow still in one piece
The Dank Lord: Mama never taught him how to chew his food
DROP THE BASS: Somebody spank that bitch
Hug Dealer: Again I say; Kinky
The Dank Lord: DIRTY MIND DIRTY MIND
DROP THE BASS: DIRT DIRT DIRT DIRT DIRTY MIND
The Dank Lord: SHE JUST WANTS TO FUCK ME ALL THE TIME
Hug Dealer: …Aight, I’m going to bed. Good night.
The Dank Lord: NOOOOO
DROP THE BASS: SHOJI COME BACK! OOOH!
DROP THE BASS: Ok but seriously, imma try and sleep too.
The Dank Lord: Pussy
DROP THE BASS: No you
The Dank Lord: Uno reverse card
DROP THE BASS: fuck
7:00 am
The Dank Lord changed their name to The Dark Lord
The Dark Lord: Guys what the fuck?