Chapter Text
One day, Thomas decided that he should ask some questions to the other sides that he asked before he knew the ‘dark sides’ existed. He was bored. He needed something to keep him entertained. Thomas knew that the ‘light sides’ wouldn't like a visit from the ‘others’ so much so he summoned them separately to avoid conflict where he could. With that in mind, Thomas summoned both Janus and Remus, and also Logan in case things went awry. Remus appeared in his usual outfit and in a quiet manner, which was a tad worrying. That is, until Thomas saw that Remus had simply reserved himself to something; That something being filing his teeth down until the nerve was exposed and blood spurted out.
Janus rose up for .005 seconds to say “let me get ready” and sunk out asap, rising up once again, this time in his usual attire and wearing his copyrighted cool expression
Logan was reading a book and didn't even bother looking up from it, instead sitting on Virgil's stairs to continue reading.
Thomas went right ahead and started, avoiding looking at Remus “So, previously, I asked the sides a question so they could help me with one of my problems.”
“And of course, we were excluded” Janus interrupted, bitterly
“No, this was way before, in the valentines episode” Thomas replied, brushing off the other’s cold tone
“The question was ‘how would you secure a date’
“Ah yes. The one where you weren't objectifying valerie and playing straight”
“...Yes. Well, I decided to ask you guys the same question.”
“For what reason, exactly, Thomas?”
“My own entertainment?”
Janus shrugged, ‘Fair enough.”
Thomas cleared his throat as remus put his nail filer down.
“So, if you had to get a date, how would you go about it?”
Janus got a sly look on his face, one that made thomas stiff with anticipation
“You say ‘I went to harvard.’ From there you just find out what they want to hear and say it.”
Thomas fidgeted where he stood, itching to add comment on why that would never work out long-term.
They looked at each other and Janus shrugged, “You don't have to listen to me, Thomas, that's why you have multiple sides”
Thomas’ eyes widened slightly and his mouth opened in some kind of awe, as if he had some kind of epiphany. The moment was interrupted when Remus pushed Janus out of the way, abruptly taking the spotlight. Thomas groaned; Remus was much less scary now, but he was still annoying.
“Boring J- anus. I have a better way to get a partner. And I won't even use my morningstar, fists, or cock!”
Thomas closed his eyes and prepared himself for what was coming; Janus gave him a pointed look.
Remus suddenly plucked Logan from the stairs and pinned him against the wall kabe-don style. Logan was stiff for just a moment before going right back to reading.
“Remus stop.'' Janus ordered firmly “Logan must not be uncomfortable”. Janus slowly summoned his remus repellent, just in case.
“Janus, I do not feel anything, and therefore I am neither benefiting from or losing anything from Remus and I’s current interaction. There is no cause for concern.”
Janus resumed his original position, but kept the RR in hand. Logan went back to reading. He appeared tense, but maybe Janus was reading too far into it.
Remus took the silence - and absence of soap on his face - as his cue to continue, “Hey baby, you wanna hear about what jeffrey dahmer did to his victims?” He teased, his gaze boring into Logan's eyes.
To everyone's surprise, Logan didn't push him off, complain or try to escape Remus’ hold; Nor did he stay still and silent as he was before. Instead, he peered up from his book with an expression of wonder and curiosity. None of them ever expected to see such pure childlike wonder on their local logic's face. The foreign expression was quickly hidden behind his book and he continued his previous activity.
Remus continued, now propping himself against the wall with both his hands, trapping Logan between them. “Guess how long it takes for a human brain to decompose if the corpse isn't in a coffin.” His words practically had a physical presence, wrapping Logan up in their sweet embrace, in their promise of knowledge.
Logan’s former expression reappeared upon his face. Thomas and Janus had no idea what was going on, understandably so, as seeing the embodiment of intrusive thoughts lowkey flirting with the epitome of logical thinking. It was even more outlandish to see Logan looking genuinely into it. They stared at the queer occurance happening before them with twin looks of beffudlement.
“ If I can adequately recall the information, it took roughly 5-10 years.” Logan said, quiet but sure.
Remus grew a smile that practically cracked his face in half as he propped himself up on his elbow, close enough to feel Logan's breath on his face.
“Do you wanna go and discuss” he started, leaned down and whispered alluringly into logans ear “mideial torture methods?” the duke finished and he pulled back from the others face to see Logan's expression. The one that he saw was so very worth it. He looked as if he was a small child at disneyland. His eyes were shining and his book fell to the floor with a small thud.
He opened his mouth to speak and said in a soft voice “I would be deeply pleased to.”
“Well, let's go then, nerd.”
Remus swooped Logan up, and, in a fashion resembling a kidnapping, sunk out to presumably his room or the imagination.
Janus and Thomas were still standing stock still in shock. They looked at each other once more, and then back to where the other two once were. This exchange ended when Thomas spoke up.
“What… just happened?” he asked Janus
“WHat ThE hEll makes you thINK i havE any idea?!” Janus snapped, in an uncharacteristic display of exasperation.
“Well, is Logan going to be ok at least?”
“I don't know. Probably.'' Janus shrugged '' We've seen that Remus has a very serious effect on Logan, and that it's totally permanent. Despite this, i absolutely can't keep an eye on them for you, if you want”
Thomas took a while to decode janus’ lie-filled lines and then agreed, knowing he would feel better if the unlikely pair were not left alone together, despite how little of an impact Remus actually had.
Janus nodded and sank out, leaving Thomas alone to be bored, once again.