Work Text:
Jaehyun’s always wondered how he might die. Not in a morbid way. Just in the way where it’s like—you know, it has to happen at some point, right?
Not me, Donghyuck crowed once. I’m built different. I’m never going to die.
Well, Donghyuck might be immortal, but Jaehyun is certainly not, and if he has to die, he’s always hoped it might be peaceful. To pass with dignity.
Jaehyun’s death is not peaceful. Jaehyun’s death begins with the words: My name is Doyoung Kim and I will be Professor Park’s Teaching Assistant for Finance 1101. It ends with him choking on his $6 coffee and spilling it right over his $100 textbook and $1000 laptop. Any dignity he had dies, too, with the way Doyoung stares at him, half-pity and half-disbelief.
“Okay,” Johnny says in their kitchen, later, as Jaehyun recounts his tragic tale. “Not that I’m not super sympathetic about your laptop au lait—” It doesn’t even turn on anymore, so it’s really less laptop and more just a useless hunk of metal, but who is Jaehyun to argue the semantics? “But what was it about this guy that made you freak out so bad?”
“It’s him,” Jaehyun replies, putting a pot of water on to boil. Dinner is ramen today. Lunch was also ramen. Ramen is pretty much all he eats anymore, because it’s consistently good and Jaehyun can’t cook to save his life, but also it’s cheap. Unfortunately, it also sends his sodium intake through the roof.
Immediately, Johnny lets out a long, sustained groan. “You think everyone is him.”
Him is OnlyFans user d0_bunny, though mostly he just goes by Bunny. Johnny laughed the first time Jaehyun said his nickname aloud. And maybe Bunny isn’t the most imaginative screen name, but Jaehyun figures when you’ve got a body that looks like that, you can afford to get a little kitschy with the nicknames. His videos and streams have landed him in the top 0.1% of all creators, and have also made him a permanent resident of Jaehyun’s dreams. The dirty kind. Jaehyun’s not embarrassed about it, though, because that’s just what happens when you watch every single video someone’s posted multiple times. Johnny calls it obsession. Jaehyun prefers the term healthy fixation.
“No. This time I’m sure. I swear it’s him.”
“You swore the guy who gave you an extra scoop of ice cream at Baskin Robbins was him, too. Remember that?”
Okay, so Jaehyun’s made mistakes. He’s only human. “That was different. I mean it. I would know Bunny’s waist anywhere.”
“What, was he wearing a crop top to the first day of class?”
“No,” Jaehyun says, though he certainly wouldn’t have complained if he did. “He was wearing a turtleneck. Like a slut.”
“How is a turtleneck slutty?”
Jaehyun drops the noodles in. “You either get it or you don’t,” he says mournfully. Of course Johnny wouldn’t get it. Johnny didn’t see the way the slim cut of his sweater accentuated his broad shoulders and his tiny, holdable little waist, and the—
His water boils over. Jaehyun turns down the flame to a more modest medium-low.
“Uh-huh,” Johnny says, deadpan. “I guess I wouldn’t. But even if it’s really him, how would you know?”
“It is really him,” Jaehyun insists. “I can tell just from the shoulder-to-waist ratio. But I can’t just bring it up out of nowhere.”
Johnny rolls his eyes. “Why don’t you scrape together another ten dollars in pennies, and then you can just send him a message and ask?”
“It costs five dollars to send him a message. Not ten.”
“And how many messages do you send him a day?”
“...Four,” Jaehyun admits, and does not feel bad when Johnny nearly concusses himself on the kitchen cabinet from how hard he starts laughing. “But it’s not what you think! I just tell him stuff like, good morning. And that I hope he has a good day. And that I hope his pillow is always cold on both sides, and—”
The look on Johnny’s face is mortified. “That’s even worse,” he says. “You pay $20 a day—on top of a monthly subscription fee—just to simp for this guy?”
“I don’t like the connotations of that word,” Jaehyun says. “My relationship with Bunny is close and personal.”
“If it’s so close and personal, does he know your name?”
Jaehyun goes silent. “Sometimes he thanks me for the donations. So he knows my username, at least.”
“That’s what I thought,” Johnny says. “So if you can’t ask him about it, are you just going to live with this knowledge without actually doing anything?”
Jaehyun’s phone buzzes with a notification, and he has to dive for it before Johnny can read whatever is on his screen.
OnlyFans
1m ago
d0_bunny is now live!
Fuck, is it that time already? “I’ll figure it out,” he says hurriedly. “Listen, dude, great talk, I gotta—”
“He’s livestreaming, isn’t he.” Johnny’s voice is deadpan.
Every Tuesday and Thursday, at five o’clock, on the dot. Bunny is flexible with a lot of things—like his legs, for example, and Jaehyun really needs to stop thinking about that before he gets a boner in front of his roommate—but his schedule is not one of them. “Yes, he is, so I really have to go, will you—”
“Yes, I’ll finish cooking your fucking dinner for you, just go. But you really need to learn to budget, by the way, because it’s definitely not healthy to subsist on a diet of instant noodles when you also work out twice a day.”
Jaehyun doesn’t hear the last half of his sentence, because he’s already halfway down the hall by the time Johnny finishes speaking.
📹
What Johnny doesn’t understand—what no one probably understands—is that Jaehyun doesn’t just like Bunny for his incredible thighs or his trim little waist. Though there’s that, too. Other people can call him a simp, or whatever, but the truth is that Jaehyun considers himself to be an intensely lonely person. His social life isn’t exactly sparkling. Sometimes, he tunes into Bunny’s livestreams just to hear the sound of someone else’s voice talking while he goes about his daily routine.
He isn’t like Johnny, who managed to make friends with half the campus in his first week of Freshman year. He isn’t like Donghyuck, whose general demeanor and magnetism draws strangers in like moths to a flame. He isn’t like Jungwoo, who found community through his extracurriculars and branched out from there. Jaehyun is painfully aware that the image he projects to most of the world is less shy recluse who struggles to carry on a conversation most of the time and more stuck-up loner who thinks he’s too good to talk to us, anyway. It’s something he’s made his peace with over the years, and it’s not even like he necessarily wants any of it to change.
Jaehyun likes his circle small. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get lonesome sometimes, though. And that’s nothing his parasocial relationship can’t fix.
The app lags as it opens, but it gives Jaehyun just enough time to launch himself into bed (and hit his head on the wall, ow) and get situated (AirPods—check, lube—check, tissues—check) before the video loads.
Bunny’s streams are always casual, and they always start the same way. “Hello everyone,” he says, and Jaehyun can’t see his face—he never shows it—but there’s a smile in his voice. Jaehyun can tell. He even sounds like Doyoung, with his warm tenor. “Did you have a nice day? Did you eat dinner already?”
Jaehyun’s 99-cent dinner is sitting on his kitchen table and getting soggy. Not yet, he types in chat.
“That’s no good,” Bunny says, and Jaehyun nearly hits his head on the wall a second time. He read my chat. He read— “To everyone saying they haven’t eaten yet, make sure to do that soon, okay?” The rest of his body comes into view. Jaehyun is suddenly very aware of how tight his own pants are. He’d nearly forgotten that today was a special stream, meant to celebrate making it into the top 0.1%.
It seems ridiculous that he could have forgotten, because Bunny had asked them on Twitter to choose either naked apron or maid outfit for today’s stream, and Jaehyun nearly got himself a permanent suspension from creating multiple accounts within the span of an hour solely for the purpose of voting for the maid outfit. Worth it, though, because it had won in the end.
Definitely worth it, Jaehyun reaffirms to himself, his mouth dry. His tongue feels ten sizes too big. The outfit—if it can even be called that, Jaehyun’s seen swimsuits that covered more skin—is black, with white lace around the edges matching the sheer garter-and-stocking set he’s wearing too. Worse than that is the frilled apron tied around his waist, which does nothing to distract from how small it is and does everything to accentuate it.
Jaehyun has died and gone to heaven. Twice in one day.
“Mm, my day? It was long. Kind of stressful. But I made a sourdough starter,” Bunny says to himself. “I’m trying to get more into baking, but I’m not sure how well it’s going to go. I don’t know if I have the patience for it.” Part of the niche he’s carved out for himself includes talking about his day, or the various chores he has yet to do. It’s very malewife-meets-househusband, and Jaehyun likes it a little bit more than he probably should. The imagery of Doyoung, bent over his kitchen counter, is as vivid as it is unrealistic, but that doesn’t stop Jaehyun from imagining it anyway. His hands gripping tight at Doyoung’s hips, pressing him back onto his cock, his stocking-covered legs spread open as he’d whine for more, Jaehyun, please. And of course, Jaehyun would have no choice but to oblige.
Although Bunny likes to share little details about his day-to-day routine, he never shares much about himself. There’s not even an age listed on his profile, only his measurements and a livestream schedule. Jaehyun only managed to figure out they live in the same city because he once caught a glimpse of a takeout menu from a local restaurant on Bunny’s desk. But cities are big. He never thought Bunny would be this close to him, at the same college, though he certainly hoped he might be.
A flurry of messages cover the screen as the video feed gets readjusted to show Bunny’s legs spread wide on the dark blue sheets covering his mattress. Jaehyun didn’t even own sheets until he started watching Bunny’s streams, and he’d started nagging another viewer about the merits of a properly outfitted bed.
How can you expect anyone to spend the night with you if you don’t at least have a fitted sheet, he said, his ass up to the camera. Jaehyun still remembers the exact shade of red lace his thong had been.
He went to Bed Bath and Beyond right after that stream. On the off chance Bunny ever found himself in his bed, he didn’t want to take any chances.
Most of the messages are from viewers like Jaehyun, who enjoy his more idle chatter. Stop teasing, some of the others say, getting impatient. Give us a show, and we want to see ur ass already.
Jaehyun hates these types of people, because there are other streamers to go to if you’re just looking to get off quickly, and with Bunny—as silly as it may sound—part of the appeal comes from the connection of feeling like you’re spending time with him. It makes his blood boil, really, but Bunny only takes the more demanding comments in stride. “Maybe you all could learn a thing or two about patience,” he says, voice sultry and feather-light, as he lifts the hem of his skirt, goading them on. Jaehyun hooks a shaky thumb in the waistband of his boxers, all anger suddenly forgotten. “We have a half-hour to ourselves. Why rush?”
Right. He can be patient. The elastic of his waistband stings against his skin as it snaps back into place. Jaehyun doesn’t want to rush this, either, and the anticipation of touching himself only heightens his arousal.
The video quality is high enough that Jaehyun can see the precome beading at the head of his dick, but he’d been drawn to Bunny’s streams even when he had less than 100 subscribers, filmed on his phone, and didn’t own a tripod. Still, the sight makes Jaehyun’s mouth water, has his hands trembling as he tentatively rubs a palm over himself, matching Bunny’s motions the best he can.
True to his word, Bunny doesn’t rush as he strokes himself slowly, hips pressing up into his hand. The sound he makes—breathy, high-pitched—goes straight to Jaehyun’s dick, and Jaehyun knows he must be exaggerating his reactions, because that’s simply the nature of this job. At the same time, though, he wonders if maybe—just maybe—it’s possible that he would make such pretty noises if they were alone, too. In Jaehyun’s bed, on the sheets he bought because Bunny had basically told him to all those months ago, no audience, just the two of them.
Someone in chat donates a whopping 300 dollars. Not even Jaehyun is that crazy, despite every instinct in his body that practically screams for him to throw money at the man whenever he appears on camera. Doyoung laughs as he reads the accompanying message out loud.
“Would you spread your legs a little more, baby, we want to see you,” he says, voice catching on a moan halfway through. “Well—how can I say no when you ask so politely?”
Jaehyun is so fucking hard, and they’re barely ten minutes into the stream. This is just the effect Bunny has on him. Has on everyone, apparently, if the slew of lewd comments in the chat are anything to go by. Bunny’s skirt has ridden up that it’s barely covering anything at all anymore, and when he spreads his legs, squeezing at the base of his cock, it only rides up further. Jaehyun has never thought of dicks as pretty before, but Doyoung’s undoubtedly is. It’s longer than it is thick, flushed pink at the head and curving up against his stomach. Jaehyun’s gotten himself off more times than he’d care to admit just to the thought of sucking him off.
Bunny throws his head back on a whine as he starts settling in, gets comfortable, and Jaehyun admires the elegant stretch of his neck, the unmarred skin that gets exposed. This is always the best part—when Bunny starts to lose himself, seems to forget that he’s even got a captive audience at all. Jaehyun wonders what it might be like to take the soft skin between his teeth and mark him up, wonders whether Bunny would be the type of person who called hickeys juvenile or if he’d enjoy the bites and the bruises, making soft little breathy noises underneath Jaehyun’s mouth.
Bunny lets out a shuddery moan, and Jaehyun moans along with him. There’s a lot that’s left to be desired about their apartment, but he is thankful that whoever lived here before them at least soundproofed the walls. He reaches out of shot for a second, and then Jaehyun hears the unmistakable sound of a plastic bottle being uncapped before his hand returns to the frame.
“I’ve been worked up all day,” Bunny says, rubbing a now-lubed finger around his rim, agonizingly slow. “What do you say? Should I relieve some of the tension?”
For once, everyone in the chat is in agreement. Yes, yes, please, fuck yes, do it, yes please, floods the screen, and Bunny practically croons at their eagerness.
“If you insist,” he says with a gasp, and Jaehyun props his phone up on his pillow because he really, really needs both hands for this.
It’s so easy to superimpose Doyoung’s face over Bunny’s body, especially when Jaehyun is ninety-nine-point-nine-percent sure they are the same person after all. Easy to imagine the kittenish curve of his upper lip and the wet flutter of his lashes, or the way Doyoung’s mouth would fall open on a moan as he slips a finger into himself, eyes squeezed shut. Even easier to imagine the way he might sound whispering Jaehyun’s name, breathless, asking him for more, telling him what to do, crying out about how good it all feels. His skin soft, his breath warm, his voice broken.
Not so patient after all, are you? Jaehyun might say to him, though he probably wouldn’t be able to last very long either.
The fantasy half-dissolves as Bunny pants, on screen, and adds two more fingers in quick succession. Jaehyun has always thought he had pretty fingers—long, slender, would probably feel impossibly good inside him—his skull knocks back against his headboard as he rocks up into the tight fist of his hand. The slide of his palm against himself is dry and right on the edge of painful, too much friction, aided only by the precome he’s able to gather as he rolls his palm over the head of his cock and strokes down. It’s too bad he feels too far gone to even bother reaching for the lube he’d diligently set out for himself earlier.
“Should I let myself come like this?” Bunny asks as he squirms, a flush crawling down his chest and his toes curling against the mattress. “On my fingers? Or do you guys want to see me use one of my new toys tonight? I just had a shipment come in yesterday.”
Even without being able to see his face, it’s clear to anyone with functioning eyes that he’s already desperate to come. Jaehyun’s not so far away himself, either. The replies start coming in—yes, no, do it, don’t, come for us, keep going—and it’s not entirely clear which side is winning out. Painstakingly, Jaehyun pulls his hand away from his dick long enough to send a 50 dollar donation and type, come on your fingers, you had a stressful day, don’t push yourself.
“Thanks, Peach,” Bunny says, voice half-breath. The squelching sound his fingers make as he pumps them in and out of himself is positively filthy. Jaehyun has to bite down on the collar of his own shirt to swallow down the needy noise threatening to claw itself out from his throat. The walls might be soundproof, but even that can only get you so far. “That’s sweet.”
Jaehyun has to admit, even if only to himself, that his intentions aren’t entirely pure. There’s something about seeing Bunny get himself off with just his own hands, after all, that’s somehow appealing to him. It seems more natural, almost, less performed. But the sound of his own name—his username, but a name nonetheless—falling from Bunny’s lips is almost enough to send him over the edge. Suddenly, it feels like there’s not enough time for him to get his hand back around himself. He flips over onto his stomach instead, the hard press of his cock trapped between himself and the mattress as his fingers continue to fly across the screen.
You sound so pretty, he types, and it gets lost in the flood of chats as Bunny begins to whine, high and keening. He continues to type, even though he knows his messages won’t be seen. Bet you look pretty, too, he sends, and then Doyoung’s face is appearing behind the backs of his eyelids again and Jaehyun rolls his hips down to relieve his own aching cock.
Bunny’s chest heaves as he draws in a shaky breath, his back arching clean off the mattress. His body stretches out and then pulls taut, and then he’s coming in ropes across his own chest, with a series of tiny, squeezed out whimpers that Jaehyun is sure he’ll be remembering for a long time.
Jaehyun comes, too, the sound and the sight of him overwhelming all of his senses at once. A dam breaking, floodgates opening, a shock of electricity down his spine as he ruts into the mattress and spills over his sheets. He barely registers Bunny’s voice saying, thanks for keeping me company, or the screen of his phone going dark. His own breathing feels impossibly loud in the quiet of his own room.
He only realizes after the fact that it was Doyoung’s name on his tongue as he brought himself to release.
📹
Jaehyun emerges from his room thirty minutes later, freshly showered and much more relaxed. His sheets still have to be put in the laundry, but that’s okay. Johnny is still sitting at the kitchen table next to a now very, very soggy bowl of ramen that is more noodle than it is soup.
“So,” Johnny says. “Is he in love with you yet? Even better, have you suddenly come to your senses and realized you are crippling yourself financially by spending a solid ninety percent of your money on an OnlyFans streamer?”
“How much does a kidney go for these days?” Jaehyun asks as he takes a seat, half-serious.
“Not enough to fund your addiction, so don’t even try,” Johnny snorts. “You know, maybe if you budgeted—”
“I’ve never budgeted anything in my life. And I’m not going to start now.” Jaehyun pokes at his bowl of ramen. The noodles have congealed into one solid lump. But food is food, and Bunny always signs off his streams by telling them to eat well. This is a difficult task when you’re a broke college student who is no longer on the unlimited dining hall meal plan that freshmen are forced to buy.
Johnny sighs heavily. “So what, then? You keep blowing all your money and just hope he falls in love with you and confesses via OnlyFans DMs?”
“I’m going to pretend to be really bad at finance,” Jaehyun says, taking a bite of solid noodle lump. “And show up to all his office hours.”
“Really? That’s your best plan of attack?”
“You don’t want to see the others.”
“Yeah,” Johnny says, and squints as Jaehyun attempts to choke his food down. “I’m sure I don’t.”
📹
As it turns out, it’s very easy for Jaehyun to pretend to be bad at finance. Possibly because he is very bad at finance. Doyoung points this out to him several times within their first few meetings.
“Are you sure you want to be a business major?” he asks, not for the first time. The felt-tip of his red pen met Jaehyun’s practice quiz five minutes ago, and has not left the paper since.
“I like your glasses,” Jaehyun blurts out. “Sorry, uh. What were you saying?” Doyoung’s whole sexy librarian aesthetic is really working for him. The oversized cream sweater he’s wearing only adds to the appeal of it all.
Doyoung raises a perfectly arched brow at him from across his desk. “Nothing. You should really focus on your problem set.”
“I don’t, um. I don’t understand this part,” Jaehyun says, pointing to a random question. Saying it like that implies there are parts of his worksheet that he does understand. This would be categorically false. He doesn’t understand any part of what he sees in front of him, he’s been busy calculating the exact equation for the parabolic curve of Doyoung’s cupid bow.
“How much information are you retaining in class?” Doyoung asks, his tone vaguely judgmental.
Not a lot, Jaehyun wants to retort. It’s hard when you keep wearing all those tight turtlenecks. He doesn’t get the chance, because A, he values his life. And also B, Doyoung has graciously left his seat to get a better look at what is confusing Jaehyun (everything, everything is confusing Jaehyun), and he’s now leaning over Jaehyun’s back, and this is physically the closest they’ve ever been, and Jaehyun is dying all over again.
Is it odd to get flustered just by being this close to Doyoung when he’s seen Doyoung’s dick on camera before? Possibly. Jaehyun doesn’t have time to question it.
“This is the present value formula,” Doyoung is saying, one hand braced on the desk, the other on the back of Jaehyun’s seat. “You’re just plugging in values. To get the current price of stock, you add the price in one period and the cash dividend at the end of the period, and then you divide that value by the sum of one plus your required return on investment.”
Doyoung smells like clean laundry and soap and something very lightly floral. It’s more than a little intoxicating. “Thanks,” Jaehyun lies. “I get it now.”
“Are you sure?” Doyoung asks, clearly skeptical. “It doesn’t seem like you get it. This is the third time I’ve explained this to you.”
Jaehyun turns his head to the side, and—wow, okay. Doyoung’s face is close. Really close. A very objects in the mirror are closer than they appear moment. “Um,” he says nervously. Doyoung is even more beautiful up close than he is through a screen, or five feet away, and Jaehyun is not sure how that is possible. His tongue darts out to wet his lower lip and his mouth is suddenly very, very dry.
Doyoung’s eyes seem to follow the movement, and oh, Jaehyun thinks. Did I imagine that? Was it wishful thinking? Are hallucinations a side effect of a nutritional deficiency, from only eating ramen for an entire semester?
“Never mind,” Doyoung says, straightening up. “Office hours are over for the day, although I have a feeling you might need some extra help. Have you ever thought about private tutoring?”
“Not really,” Jaehyun answers honestly. But he definitely is, now. He’s definitely thinking about Doyoung, in those glasses, bending him over a desk in some abandoned classroom, and telling him to recite the formula for the two-stage dividend discount model. “Are you… are you offering?”
Doyoung glances at the clock, so Jaehyun does, too. 4:30. Bunny’s stream will be starting soon. “If it comes down to it, yes. Besides, if another student comes to office hours, I can’t have you hogging all my attention. And you clearly need it.”
Jaehyun does maybe the only smart thing he’s done all day. “Are you free Thursday? At five?”
“No,” Doyoung says immediately. “Sorry. I’m busy then.”
I know you are, Jaehyun says, mentally cheering. Take that, Johnny. And take that, Baskin Robbins employee. He knows now how Prince Charming must have felt when Cinderella put on that glass slipper.
“I have to get going, but my contact information is on the syllabus,” Doyoung says. Even the way he packs up all his things is somehow mesmerizing. Pencils carefully slotted back into their case, textbooks carefully bookmarked and slipped into his bag, his iPad and keyboard in their own compartment. A proper place for everything. Jaehyun mostly just chucks his laptop (now fixed, courtesy of a small loan from one Johnny Suh) uncovered into his The Economist tote and says a little prayer. “Just send me an email, and we’ll figure out a time.”
“How about Tuesdays?” Jaehyun tries, just to be sure.
Doyoung gives him an odd look, then starts ushering him out of the office. “Sure. But only in the mornings.”
📹
Hi Doyoung, this is Jaehyun. Jaehyun, from office hours, from Finance 1101. I was wondering if next Tuesday at 11 would work for you?
Sent from my iPhone
Jaehyun:
Yes, I remember who you are. Tuesday at 11 is fine. We can use my office again.
Cordially,
Doyoung Kim
Ok, it's a date
Sent from my iPhone
Not a date. I mean, a platonic date.
Sent from my iPhone
Sorry, scratch that. A professional date. Between a TA and a student. Just tutoring.
Sent from my iPhone
Jaehyun:
I understand what you mean. Please stop emailing me now.
Cordially,
Doyoung Kim
📹
OnlyFans
1m ago
d0_bunny is now live!
“I think I have to run out and get groceries later,” Bunny is sighing, though his words are partially drowned out by the low hum of vibrations coming from the shiny silver bullet he’s currently working into himself. “I’m running low on produce, but while I’m out, I might as well stop by the post office, too…Oh, wait, I forgot to put my laundry in the dryer too, I should do that.”
Donate to change the setting, the top of his stream reads.
Jaehyun politely tips $50. I hope you had a good day, he types out.
“Thanks for the donation, Peach,” Bunny says, squinting at his screen. He fumbles over the remote in his hand for a second before he manages to hit the right buttons. The vibrating noise gets significantly more intense as he squirms against the toy. “My—My day? It was fine, I guess.”
Just fine? Jaehyun thinks mournfully. We were together all afternoon.
“Or,” Bunny continues. It’s frankly impressive how steady he’s managing to keep his voice, especially when Jaehyun can tell from the way his thighs are trembling and his breaths start to come in quick, hurried pants that he’s probably close. “I mean, I—fuck—I met someone today.” The remote has slipped from his hands now. Jaehyun watches with rapt attention as his fingers curl into the sheets and tug, his knuckles going white around his grip. “He was cute. Kind of dumb. But cute.”
Chats start flying across the screen. Fuck I’m gonna get jealous, one reads. Bring him next time, says another. How big is his dick.
Jaehyun is too shocked to do much of anything at all.
Bunny lets out a choked noise, like it started out as a laugh and turned into a moan halfway through. His hips are stuttering, like he can’t decide if he should be trying to push the toy in deeper or grind down against his sheets for some badly-needed friction. “I can’t bring him, he doesn’t know I do this. And I don’t know how big his dick is, either. He looked good for it, though. I bet—”
Jaehyun doesn’t get to hear the rest of his sentence, because all the blood that should be in his brain has gone to his dick, and his fine motor control is failing him. His grip on his phone slackens and falls right on his face. This would be fine, normally, except Jaehyun has the kind of fucked-up iPhone charger that is more frayed, exposed cable than it is anything else, and it will only charge if held at a certain angle.
Meaning the minute he drops his phone, it also dies.
“Fuck,” he curses, ignoring the throbbing pain in his nose and frantically trying to will his phone back to life. It takes a few tries before he’s able to successfully bend it at its requisite sixty-six degree angle, and by the time it’s turned on and his app is fully loaded again, Jaehyun is met with the seven cruelest words in the English language.
This livestream has ended. Pay to unlock.
He doesn’t even think twice before paying, hardly even registers the price, fast-forwarding through the video until he gets to where he’d left off.
“I bet he’d be good in bed,” Bunny chokes out, back bowing as he presses a finger into himself alongside the toy. “He looks like the type that would let me boss him around.”
I would, Jaehyun thinks, already grabbing for the half-empty bottle of lube on his nightstand. God. I really, really would.
“Look,” Jaehyun says the next morning, shoving his phone proudly into Johnny’s face. “He was talking about me last night.’
Johnny takes one look at the screen and flinches back. “That’s a penis, man,” he says, sputtering. “It’s seven in the morning. I’m trying to eat my cereal.”
“He likes me,” Jaehyun says dreamily. “Or he just wants to fuck me. I’d settle for that, too.”
“C’mon dude. Be realistic.” These are interesting words coming from a man wearing tiger onesie pajamas and waving a spoon in the air. “He could be talking about anyone. What’re you gonna do if he actually starts shooting content with a partner who’s not you?”
“Die, probably,” Jaehyun says with all the seriousness in the world. “And forever change the trajectory of his life.”
📹
Bunny doesn’t mention him on any livestreams again after that. Jaehyun tries not to be disappointed by this fact, even though he’s not exactly making a whole lot of progress with him in real life, either. Though Jaehyun would tentatively say they might be friends now, Doyoung is a true professional, and they rarely ever discuss non-finance related topics at their tutoring sessions.
“That’s probably for the best,” Johnny tells him. “I’ve seen your finance grades. They’re not good. Maybe you should, like, actually pay attention to what he’s saying when he’s trying to keep you from failing the class.”
“I”m trying,” Jaehyun insists. It’s just very hard to focus on anything that’s not Doyoung, or Doyoung’s waist, or Doyoung’s hands, or Doyoung’s thighs, when the object of his affections is sitting less than three feet away from him and only growing more beautiful by the day.
His hair is longer now. Jaehyun spends a frankly embarrassing amount of time wondering what it would be like to run his fingers through it.
For a while, this is how it is. Doyoung tries to teach. Jaehyun does his best to absorb the material, and mostly fails. Bunny continues to stream, and Jaehyun continues to watch.
Jaehyun would call himself a creature of habit for the most part. He likes to wake up at the same time each day, go to the gym once in the mornings (cardio) and once in the afternoons (weights), watch Bunny’s streams on Tuesdays and Thursdays, go grocery shopping on Fridays, so on, so forth. Donghyuck usually tells him this makes him boring. Jaehyun is of the opinion that routine and stability can only help a person, not hinder them. Deviations from routine are sometimes necessary, though, and Jaehyun is reminded of this fact one day when he opens the kitchen pantry only to find it empty.
“I’m gonna run to the store,” he tells Johnny, who is sitting on their lumpy couch and drinking a mug of what Jaehyun can only presume is his own pretentiously-brewed coffee. “Do you want anything?”
“No. You’re just going to buy ramen, anyway,” Johnny points out.
Jaehyun frowns to himself as he slides on a pair of slippers. Putting on proper shoes is too much of a hassle. After all, Seven-Eleven is just a few blocks away, and it’s surprisingly warm out for a Spring evening. “Sometimes I buy beer, too,” he says, and Johnny just waves him out the door without a second glance.
The amount of time it takes him to walk to the store is significantly longer than the amount of time he actually spends in it, which is maybe what happens when your shopping list consists of just one item. He’s considering buying a pack of condoms at the checkout (you never know, okay, and even if Jaehyun is currently only intimate with his imagination and his right hand, he would rather be safe than sorry) when the door chimes and a familiar voice rings out.
“Oh,” Doyoung says. “Jaehyun?”
This is technically the first time they have had an encounter outside of campus, accidental or otherwise. Jaehyun puts down the pack of condoms immediately. This is not an ideal situation for him. “Hi,” he says. “Great weather we’re having, huh?”
Doyoung squints judgmentally. “I guess so…?” he says, and his gaze drops to the bag of 99 cent ramen currently in Jaehyun’s hands. “Is that all you’re buying?”
“Um. Yes,” Jaehyun says.
“Is that all you eat?” Doyoung asks, in disbelief.
Jaehyun stays purposefully silent.
Doyoung is looking at him with open pity now. But hey, at least he’s looking at him. Silver linings. “You’re going to die from a cardiovascular disease.”
“Well, yeah. Probably.”
“I thought you gym bro types were all about net carbs. And protein shakes.”
“I’m not a gym bro,” Jaehyun says, affronted. “And protein powder is expensive. I just work out. A lot.”
Doyoung’s gaze sweeps down his body, torturously slow. Jaehyun suddenly wishes he was wearing something more form-fitting. Like one of Doyoung’s sexy turtlenecks. His gray sweatshirt-and-sweatpants combination seems insufficient. “Yeah,” he says slowly. “I can see that.”
Is he checking Jaehyun out? He is, right?
“Um,” Jaehyun says, when Doyoung’s eyes seem to linger, though he can’t lie and say he’s not preening over the attention a little bit. It’s just that a Seven-Eleven is not the ideal place for such a thing to happen, and the cashier keeps glaring at them, presumably for disturbing his peace at seven o’clock on a Saturday night. “Well, I’ll see you on Tuesday?”
“Right,” Doyoung says, snapping out of whatever daze he was in with immediacy. “Tuesday. I’ll see you then.”
📹
The following Tuesday, Jaehyun shows up to Doyoung’s office in his tightest henley shirt he owns. Doyoung shows up in another turtleneck, with tupperware in tow.
“You haven’t eaten lunch yet?” Jaehyun asks, because it seems unlike him. During his streams, Bunny always emphasizes the importance of having meals at regular times in order to stay healthy.
Doyoung’s cheeks are bright red. Jaehyun has never seen him blush before. It’s cute. “Your bag of ramen was so depressing I just figured I’d throw some of my leftovers together for you,” he says, refusing to meet Jaehyun’s eyes as he thrusts the tupperware into his hands. “It’s not a big deal.”
Jaehyun’s brain short-circuits. “Oh,” he says, and tries to conjure a coherent thought. It’s harder than it should be, because his brain won’t stop making dial-up noises. Doyoung’s food. Food that Doyoung cooked for me. Doyoung’s cooking. Food made by Doyoung’s hands. For me. “Are you—did you really—”
“If you don’t grab it in the next five seconds I’m taking it back,” Doyoung warns him, and Jaehyun has never moved so fast in his entire life. “Seriously, a grown man cannot subsist off ramen for every single meal. Get it together.”
Jaehyun would eat ramen for the next 500 meals if it meant Doyoung would cook for him again. “Okay,” he says dreamily. “Thank y—”
“Don’t thank me, you’re going to make it weird, they’re just leftovers,” Doyoung says, but the flush on his cheeks has spread to the tips of his ears and presumably down his neck, too. “Just—eat a vegetable once in a while.”
“There are dried vegetable packets in ramen.”
“A real vegetable. Not a rehydrated one.”
“But—”
“Okay, enough of that,” Doyoung cuts in. “Let’s just talk about bond valuation now.”
OnlyFans
1m ago
d0_bunny is now live!
The stir-fry Doyoung made is objectively simple. It’s also somehow the best thing Jaehyun has ever tasted, even after sitting out for a few hours and being warmed up in his microwave later.
“I think I just love a pet project,” Bunny says from his phone, perusing his collection of toys. Sometimes, he lets the chat choose which one he uses for the stream while he talks. Today, he settles on a moderately-sized hot pink dildo without soliciting any input.
I’m bigger than that, Jaehyun thinks bitterly, shoveling a spoonful of rice into his mouth.
“Or you know, maybe I just have a thing for dimples. Sue me.”
Doyoung brings him another tupperware of leftovers to their next tutoring session (it’s curry this time, and Jaehyun has to physically stop himself from getting on one bended knee and proposing to him then and there). Jaehyun flashes him the brightest, most dimpled smile he can manage, and silently thanks his father for the good genes when Doyoung’s cheeks go pink.
📹
Against all odds, Jaehyun actually passes his midterm. It’s mostly thanks to Doyoung graciously answering his questions over email even at odd hours of the night and agreeing to up their sessions to twice a week in the month leading up to the exam. And well—a 70 isn’t a good grade, necessarily, but it’s a passing grade, and that’s a whole lot more than Jaehyun was expecting, at any rate.
“Look,” he says, bursting into Doyoung’s office and waving the marked-up exam in his hand. “Look, I passed—”
“I know you passed,” Doyoung says, amused. “I’m your TA, remember? I put those grades into Canvas.”
Jaehyun deflates quickly. “Oh. Right. I guess you would know.”
“I’m proud of you though,” Doyoung tells him, and just as quickly, Jaehyun’s heart soars again. Is this a praise kink? Does he have one of those? “I wasn’t sure if you were actually paying attention to me during these sessions or not.”
Maybe Jaehyun could be doing a better job of hiding his open thirst. “I pay attention,” he says, because he has to at least defend himself a little. “Mostly.”
A quick glance at his watch has Doyoung rising to his feet. “Clearly,” he says, and lifts his bag up onto his shoulder. “What do you say we get some coffee to celebrate you not failing? I could use the caffeine.”
Wow, Jaehyun thinks to himself. It’s almost like a—
“It’s not a date,” Doyoung clarifies. “I’m just tutoring you somewhere they also happen to have coffee.”
That’s okay. Jaehyun can work with this. “Alright,” he agrees, and holds the door open for Doyoung as they leave, because he is first and foremost a gentleman. “It’s not-a-date.”
It definitely feels like one, though, because Doyoung insists on paying for their coffee, and they split a piece of carrot cake between them. The table Doyoung chooses for them is small enough that their knees keep knocking together underneath it, and the surface can’t even fit Jaehyun’s finance textbook, so it turns out not a lot of tutoring happens at all. Not for Doyoung’s lack of trying.
“So if the first dividend is 20 cents a share, and you assume the cost of common stock equity capital is 14.5%,” Doyoung says, his pen scribbling back-and-forth on a napkin. “Then we can calculate the dividend growth rate between Time 1 and—you’re not listening, are you?”
“I’m listening,” Jaehyun says, staring intently at the light dusting of moles across Doyoung’s jawline and the way his hair gleams in the fading sunlight.
“No, you’re staring at me. There’s a difference.”
Jaehyun smiles. “I’m a visual learner,” he says.
Doyoung laughs, bright and unrestrained, so hard he nearly knocks over both their cups of coffee, and Jaehyun swears he can feel the sound all the way in his chest, his heart stuttering behind his ribcage.
OnlyFans
1m ago
d0_bunny is now live!
“I think I might actually like him,” Bunny says on stream later that night, while Jaehyun is under the covers and just about to wrap a hand around himself.
He would be an idiot if he didn’t like you too :), Jaehyun types into the chat. Doyoung won’t be his TA forever. The realization that this could actually be something real warms him all the way through.
📹
Like all good things, it doesn’t last for long. Jaehyun was always bound to fuck up in one way, or another. He just wishes it wasn’t like this.
“Shit,” Doyoung curses, and Jaehyun’s head whips up from his problem set. “Sorry, get back to working. Didn’t mean to distract you.”
Numbers and letters are swirling on the page in front of him, and Jaehyun doesn’t know who exactly decided that letters needed to be put into finance, but he wishes them a very go to hell. He would give anything for a distraction right now. “Are you sure? Is everything alright?”
“Yeah, it’s fine, I just forgot to pick up my dry cleaning from the laundromat,” Doyoung says, groaning. Jaehyun’s mind takes the sound to dirtier places than it should. “It’ll be closed by the time I get off work, though.”
“Huh,” Jaehyun says, without thinking. “I thought you were going to do that last week.”
There’s a long moment of silence before he realizes his mistake.
“How would you know that?” Doyoung asks slowly. The furrow in his brow is severe. “I didn’t tell you that.”
No, but you mentioned it on stream, like five minutes before you came. “You probably just mentioned it in passing,” Jaehyun tries. “Anyways. Back to purchasing power parity. Do you think—”
Doyoung shakes his head, his expression growing increasingly guarded as he puts two and two together. “No. I would have remembered if I told you something like that.”
Suddenly, Jaehyun wishes he’d never opened his mouth at all. He wanted a distraction, sure, but not like this.
“How long have you been watching?” Doyoung asks, then stops himself. “Actually, the better question is—how long have you known?”
“...Not very long,” Jaehyun confesses. “I mean, I’ve been watching you for a while, so I had my suspicions when we first met, but I wasn’t really sure until the stream where you mentioned. Um. You know.”
Doyoung’s fury is a silent sort of thing, more disappointment than it is anger, which maybe adds to how terrifying it is. “I really wish you would have told me sooner,” he says coldly. “You understand this puts me in a difficult spot now, right?”
Jaehyun swallows dryly. “Yes. I know. I’m sorry. It was never my intention to—”
“I know that,” Doyoung says. “I mean. I figure if you had bad intentions, you wouldn’t have kept my secret for so long. That doesn’t mean this isn’t a terrible situation all around, though.”
“I would never do anything to hurt you.”
“It’s a little late for that,” Doyoung says, and his smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “We should probably stop meeting like this.”
Jaehyun was wrong, before. These are the seven cruelest words in the English language, but he can’t say they’re undeserved. “Yeah. You’re right. But I really am sorry.”
“It’s okay. Or—it’s not okay, actually. But all I can do is ask you to continue to keep my secret,” Doyoung says, already starting to gather his belongings. “And I don’t care if you continue to watch my streams, but…”
“...But you’d prefer it if I stopped watching them,” Jaehyun finishes for him.
“See? You can be smart when you want to be,” Doyoung jokes weakly. “Now just put that towards your coursework, and you’ll be fine.”
Jaehyun scrambles to his feet. “Doyoung, I—”
“Listen,” Doyoung says in a hurry, before he can finish the rest of his sentence. Jaehyun’s not even sure what he wanted to say there, just that he’s not ready for things to end this way. “I think you should leave. I’ll see you in class, okay?”
His tone leaves no room for argument. “Okay,” Jaehyun says, finally. “Yeah. I’ll see you in class.”
📹
He does not see Doyoung in class. Doyoung, their professor informs them, is switching sections for personal reasons. His replacement is a sharp-eyed man named Ten who zeroes in on Jaehyun as soon as he walks into the room and looks at him like he has committed several war crimes.
Jaehyun offers him his brightest smile. Ten’s glare does not falter.
The one upside of it all is that Jaehyun’s grades suddenly start to soar. As it turns out, it’s a lot easier to concentrate on finance when Jaehyun isn’t occupying himself with sneaking glances at Doyoung every ten minutes.
The downside of it all is pretty much everything else.
Jaehyun might still be subscribed to Doyoung’s OnlyFans, but he doesn’t watch his streams anymore, and he definitely doesn’t send him four messages a day anymore either. And okay, fine. Maybe Johnny was right, and Jaehyun was a little obsessed, and now he’s being forced to quit cold turkey. Except it’s one thing to quit watching Bunny, the streamer, and another thing entirely to not be able to talk to Doyoung, or see the way his cheeks flush whenever he brings lunch for Jaehyun, or hear the sound of his laughter whenever Jaehyun answers a question incorrectly.
He says as much to Johnny, but he’s not sure if his roommate really gets it.
“That’s kinda corny, dude,” Johnny says, poking at the blanket-covered lump on their couch that is Jaehyun. He’s generally the hopeless romantic type, but a year of listening to Jaehyun pine over Bunny, the streamer, and then Doyoung, his TA, has probably worn him down. “Hey, I mean, look on the bright side. You’re saving 20 dollars a day by not messaging him. That’s like, 600 dollars a month. Maybe now you can expand your grocery list to items with actual nutritional value.”
Jaehyun doesn’t know how to tell Johnny that he doesn’t want to expand his grocery list, he wants Doyoung’s carefully-packed tupperware lunches.
Here’s a finance problem: Jaehyun is approximately 600 dollars a month richer, which is supposedly a net profit, but he doesn’t have Doyoung anymore, and how do you enumerate or begin to calculate that sort of loss?
📹
The day of his final exam is both a triumph and a tragedy. It’s a triumph because Jaehyun actually passes with flying colors. It’s a tragedy because Bunny—Doyoung—cancels his stream. Which shouldn’t really matter, given that Jaehyun doesn’t ever watch them anymore, but he always waits for the notification anyway. He considers it a sort of smoke signal, like a sign that Doyoung is still alive and doing well. It almost makes him wonder if something happened, because in the entire year that Jaehyun’s been subscribed to him, Doyoung has never canceled a stream. Ever.
He supposes it’s not any of his business anymore, though, not that it ever was.
It’s 5:14 PM when Johnny knocks on his door, and Jaehyun only knows the exact time because he’s spent the past 14 minutes staring at his phone screen forlornly like that might force the notification—d0_bunny is now live—to show up.
Johnny looks like he’s just seen a ghost when Jaehyun manages to tear his eyes away from his phone screen. “You have a guest,” he says.
The only guest Jaehyun ever gets is the pizza delivery man, and that’s only when he really feels like splurging. “I didn’t order any pizza,” he replies.
“Thanks, Johnny,” a familiar voice says from behind his roommate’s large frame. “I’ll take it from here.”
Johnny steps aside, and Jaehyun sits up so quickly he thinks he might’ve gotten whiplash. In the month-and-a-half since they’ve last seen each other, Doyoung hasn’t gotten any less beautiful. Looking at him feels a little bit like staring into the sun.
He’s wearing a turtleneck, because of course he is.
“By the way. The walls are soundproof,” Johnny says, before he leaves. “But they’re not that soundproof. Just promise me you’ll think about that.”
Jaehyun sputters. The sight of Doyoung, standing in his doorway, still doesn’t feel any more real than it did two minutes ago. “How are you—Why are you—”
“I’m here because it’s the end of the semester,” Doyoung says, like that explains everything. “As for how I got here, I got in my car and I drove. Like a regular person. I dropped you off that one time after we got coffee, remember?”
“That’s not really what I meant,” Jaehyun tells him, although he supposes that would’ve also come up as a question eventually.
“Your final grade was uploaded,” Doyoung says.
“Yes,” Jaehyun replies. He is still very confused as to what is currently happening. “It was. I passed.”
“Great,” Doyoung says. “Now I get to do this.” In the blink of an eye he’s crossing Jaehyun’s messy room (Jaehyun would’ve cleaned up if he knew he would be having guests, but alas) and sliding into his lap, and Jaehyun has barely enough time to breathe before Doyoung’s hands are in his hair and his lips are on his.
Jaehyun has been kissed before, but never like this. Doyoung’s lips are soft, slightly dry, and the way he kisses Jaehyun is with all the finesse of a seasoned pro. He practically radiates warmth, and Jaehyun isn’t sure whether that’s from the several layers of clothing he’s wearing or the last of the sunshine bleeding through his windows as late afternoon turns to evening, but either way, he thinks this is something he could get used to.
“I’ve been waiting to do this for months,” Doyoung says into his mouth, words muffled, breath billowing out over his cheeks.
“I thought—” Jaehyun gasps as Doyoung sweeps his tongue over his lower lip. He tastes like the spearmint gum he’s always bringing around, and Jaehyun is pretty sure he tastes like Maruchan instant noodles. Not romantic. Again, if he knew this would be happening, he would’ve at least brushed his teeth after lunch. “Aren’t you mad at me?”
“Yes,” Doyoung says, drawing back to inhale a lungful of air. “Very. And I expect I’ll have a lot of time later on to properly chew you out. But for right now, I would really like to kiss you.” He looks down at Jaehyun’s bed with a thoughtful gaze. “Nice sheets, by the way.”
“Thanks,” Jaehyun replies. His hands come up to circle Doyoung’s waist, and he is pleased to find it is every bit as grabbable as he thought it would be. “I bought them because you said no one would spend the night with a man who didn’t own a fitted sheet.”
“You didn’t own a fitted sheet before that?”
“...No.”
Doyoung’s gaze is soft. “You’re an idiot,” he says fondly. “When I said I thought you would be easy to boss around in bed, I didn’t mean it like that.”
Now that he knows he’s allowed to kiss Doyoung, Jaehyun is a little bothered that he’s not doing it all the time. “Sure,” he says, craning his neck to press a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “But you like that about me, don’t you?”
“It’s the best thing about you,” Doyoung says, with a concerning amount of gravitas. “Besides your dimples. And your biceps.”
“So you only want me for my body,” Jaehyun says. “And my incredible breadth of finance knowledge, presumably.”
Doyoung rolls his eyes. “Very funny. Unfortunately, I do actually like you.” He squirms a little bit in Jaehyun’s lap as he flexes his hands around his waist. It’s cute, or it would be, if he wasn’t right on top of Jaehyun’s dick. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”
“I actually like you too,” Jaehyun tells him, even though that should probably be obvious by now. “...Are you sure it isn’t the finance knowledge, though?”
“I’m going to suck your dick now,” Doyoung announces. “Please stop talking before I change my mind.”
Jaehyun shuts up for a very long time after that.
📹
A week into their relationship, Jaehyun figures it wouldn’t be all that bad for him to check on Doyoung’s page. It’s what brought them together, after all, and it’s not like Doyoung’s showing anything Jaehyun hasn’t already seen in real life at this point.
He types Doyoung’s username out with shaky hands, d-0-b-u-n-n-y.
No results found, the search taunts him.
“You blocked me,” Jaehyun says accusingly, waving his phone in Doyoung’s face. “Doyoung. Why would you block me? Me, your boyfriend.”
Next to him, Doyoung doesn’t even look up from his New York Times crossword. “I can’t date a loser.”
“I think you already are, though?” Jaehyun says. “Also, four across is gala.”
“I would’ve gotten that on my own eventually,” Doyoung replies, scowling. He’s always so grumpy in the mornings. Jaehyun thinks it’s sexy, though, because everything Doyoung does is sexy. “Listen. You need to start making better financial decisions. You do not need to be spending fifty dollars a month on a subscription to my OnlyFans when you have the real thing right here.”
“I’m trying to be a supportive boyfriend! What happened to everything you taught me about revenue streams!”
“If you really want to support me, start setting aside at least a third of your paychecks for rent, and another third for your savings account.”
Jaehyun pauses to consider this. “Will you at least put on the maid outfit for me sometimes?” he asks.
Doyoung’s scowl deepens, but the tips of his ears are bright pink, and that flush is spreading rapidly to his cheeks. “I don’t know,” he says. “Maybe we can work out a compromise.”
📹
OnlyFans
1m ago
d0_bunny is now live!
“Hello everyone!” Doyoung says, into his perfectly-angled camera. “Did you have a nice day? Did you eat dinner already?” He sneaks a glance to his side. Jaehyun smiles broadly at him.
“I have a very special guest here with me today.”