Chapter Text
The echo of menacing laughters from two curses rang across his mind whether awake, zoning out or unconscious when he was supposed to be in a slumber in bed. It was ever so restless for Yuuji that everyone around him noticed how he lacked the usual luster he tends to bring wherever he brought himself. His fighting practices and sparring were erratic, unclean- either going from exerting pure rage and frustration that caused lack of control of the damages, or to losing focus entirely and getting his own beating from the teacher or any dolls used for target practice, which wasn’t as bad as having to go to a mission only to have his partner covering his ass. This only ever dampened his mood and made him feel more and more useless.
At one point, it got bad enough that Gojo Satoru himself visited the young sorcerer in his bedroom because he kept excusing himself from outings which was unlike him in every way. To have Nobara or Megumi visiting was common, they could share the sentiment of a friend who was of the same teenage dilemma, all three only differing ages by a few months. But Gojo was also observant enough to know what was bothering Yuuji, being one of the very few people who knew the boy was alive. The other two first-years might be helpful in this time, but they can’t know about Yuuji being alive yet. Even though he never explicitly mentioned what happened, but Nanami had laid out the report of the unfortunate day that caused Yuuji’s mental to stagger.
“ When I asked for a report as I reached the venue, he put the failure to save a kid over his own injuries. It wasn ’ t outlandish, as you have said, he habitually puts others ’ wellbeing and safety first over his own life. But he was genuinely seeking bloodshed of the cursed spirit. The stiched-face curse. Even having to kill three transfigured humans despite his fears of doing so, but the next second he really wanted to kill the curse with his own hands ” Nanami spoke over the rustling of paper handed to Gojo, who himself cited his own concerns.
“ Ijichi said that Itadori had befriended the kid, Junpei, even went to his house to have dinner with him and his mother. I think they even watched a movie together. Then to have the mother killed, the kid also ended up seeking revenge at his school, and to see his new friend die in a deformed state like that... ” Gojo sighed, dropping the paper on the desk and pressed on his temple.
“ He ’ s someone with a pure purpose, and heart of gold. It ’ s very uncommon to see in the Jujutsu world. We should be wary about his emotional state in the coming days. I know I said that sorcerers are shit, but he ’ s one who could convince me it ’ s not that bad. All battered, he still saved me but accepted none of the credits. Look after him ”
Gojo came in the room with a plastic full of light snacks and sweets, in case the kid refused to go out the room to eat. He set it aside and looked over Yuuji who was lying under the blanket, curled to the side facing the closed windows that dimmed the light from outside. Ever since his death, Gojo had secured himself an extra dormitory room far from the students’ general dorms, saying it was for personal work use. Hidden from the general occupants of Jujutsu Tech, Yuuji can sleep in a ventilated room rather than the basement for now. The heaviness of the air had reminded himself of what he went through with Geto Suguru, so he tried to take advantage of it to sympathize better with the boy.
“Yuuji? We were rather worried when you didn’t want to join me and Nanami for outings, or to eat together,” he broke the silence as he moved towards the side where Yuuji was facing, to see that the boy was awake, but barely there. He wasn’t focusing on anything, eyes void of actual emotion at the moment but the redness under the eyes showed how he probably either lacked sleep or he had been crying. A lot.
When no answer was being given, Gojo crouched in front of Yuuji to force himself in his field of vision. He placed one hand on Yuuji’s head, giving a gentle pat and a warm smile of a concerned teacher. Or maybe as a friend. Yuuji had been one of the very few who resonated in the same wavelength as himself, anyway, it made them bond pretty easily.
“How are you feeling?” which probably wasn’t the best question to ask when he knew what Yuuji might say, so he asked another without waiting for a reply for the former, “have you been sleeping enough? I also brought snacks for extra energy if you needed it,” he said softly, thinking if he had maintained his usual volume and tone, it might annoy the kid more. But at least it showed progress of how Yuuji finally focused his eyes and looked at his teacher through his mask.
He probably came here right after whatever sorcerer work he was drowned in, if he still wore that mask. The snacks are probably just bought on his way back, Yuuji thought, before emitting a quiet sigh.
“I couldn’t,” he said simply, but then realized how Gojo was waiting for a continuation of his sentence, couldn’t what? “Whatever I’m doing, even when sleeping, I always get nightmares. It’s only worse recently,” and Gojo knew when ‘recently’ was exactly pinpointed in time.
“How about you tell me what you feel like, just let it out bare. Maybe I can help, even Nobara and Megumi can help bring you back up all good,” Gojo suggested. He could see the doubt and hesitation in Yuuji’s face, until he looked away. A few seconds of contemplating silence then..
“It’s like I’m never strong enough to save anyone. I thought I was special at first, thinking I could make a change, but I’m just weak... and stupid”
“You saved Nanami, even the whole school. Everyone in the gymnasium woke up confused but no one else was harmed,”
“Sukuna did. Just because he felt like it, so he caused actual damage to that stitched-faced curse. It’s not me. It never was me,” he muttered and he could feel a smug laugh coming from Sukuna at the back of his mind, not as menacing as the unfortunate and tragedic day but still making him feel more and more inferior.
Even Sukuna was ever present to continuously mock and belittle him of his capabilities. Only recently, Yuuji didn’t notice his presence as much but it’s more so because he was drowned in his own depressive tirade of thoughts. Sukuna was probably trying to drown out Yuuji as well at this point, and he wouldn’t even blame the curse. But he could never escape the lingering feeling of the curse existing under his skin.
“You need to be more selfish in taking credits. If Sukuna did in fact save all those people. you’re the stepping stone for that many people to be saved and for that kind of thing to even happen. Sukuna doesn’t just spare people, if it weren’t for your steel mind and heart controlling his more devastating urges. This sorcery life is still unfamiliar to you, compared to the years you lived but you have saved plenty of lives, I assure you,” Gojo said earnestly, wanting Yuuji to at least feel appreciated in the moment, because it was true. Just surpressing Sukuna absent-mindedly was saving plenty of souls, him actually going into battle to physically help people was more than worthy for endless praise.
Gojo looked back at Yuuji and noticed how the boy hid his face partially in the pillow after what he had said, and realized he was trying to hold back tears albeit some droplets did escape to be absorbed in the pillow. Poor kid...
“You like hugs, right? I bet you need one from your favourite sensei right now!” he said in a more light-hearted, but still caring tone, holding his arms out to Yuuji in an attempt to coax him into a comforting bear hug. Yuuji thought he didn’t deserve that, but Gojo was right. He needed it. Yuuji pushed himself to sit up on the bed and immediately hid his face in his teacher’s shoulder, wetting the cloth there from the tears that no longer restrained itself. Gojo willingly let the boy cry, wrapping his arms around him protectively. This was the boy who always showed the Sun in his eyes and brighten up everyone’s mood, including Nanami who tends to look like he didn’t care about anything and looked done with life. But he secretly felt honoured that Yuuji allowed him to see this side of him.
Crying freely like that, and feeling like he had an anchor for once in the few devastating weeks was overwhelming but it was liberating. At least he felt that someone understood, whether or not that was the case. As he cried, he felt his consciousness slipping away, his body growing weak as if he was extremely exhausted that he just fell asleep like that, but Gojo knew that when Yuuji’s arms fell to the side, no longer gripping the back of his uniform, that the boy somehow fainted.
“Yuuji?” Gojo asked, confused, which turned to immediate worry when he pried the boy from himself to see Yuuji slumped. Did he faint from the lack of food? He looked slightly thinner, but he was frowning as if something was actively happening that Gojo wasn’t aware of. He wouldn’t feel worried if this happened any other day but knowing the state the boy had been in for the few weeks, he called Shoko on his phone for an immediate checkup to make sure the boy was safe.
“Yuuji?”
Gojo sensei’s voice felt distant. Honestly, Yuuji thought Gojo’s presence earlier was a dream, but the moment he opened his eyes was when he realized that it did happen. It’s just that his soul and subconscious was now elsewhere.
“You know, your pathetic thoughts are too loud nowadays, I just had to tell that to your face. Maybe then you’d stop bothering my resting hours,” the so-called King of Curses spoke from his usual spot above the tower of skulls, looking down in annoyance at Yuuji.
He literally pulled me into his domain in the middle of me talking to Gojo sensei... out of spite? Is he a child? Yuuji thought, but figured that also wasn’t out of character either. Pushing himself out of the murky red water, he shook his head to rid of as much liquid that had made its way to his hair but one of the reasons being he really didn’t want to talk to Sukuna when his annoyance was full blown. Who knows what’d happen if he lacked control at that time. But he kinda did.
Yuuji turned his head to look up at the curse, glaring into the ruby red eyes. His initial plan to just get by with regular tone and negotiation went out the window cause when he met those eyes that radiate superiority, amusement and annoyance, Yuuji just felt absolute rage when he was reminded of the piercing laugh the curse had shared with Mahito. It was his fault that Yuuji now drowned in those ‘pathetic thoughts’ ever since Sukuna refused to help Junpei in expense of anything, then letting the boy die in front of him. Sukuna made Yuuji fail to save a person, who could have grown into a great person or even attend Jujutsu Tech alongside himself. Yuuji failed. It’s such a scary thing to have happened to a 15 year old boy who was raw to the sorcery world.
“You lack manners towards a King. Who told you that you could look at me like that, you imbicilic brat,” he muttered the snide comment, which only made Yuuji more angry. He should’ve been scared to face the demonic spirit but dealing with Sukuna everyday only made him react only in annoyance or hindrance. Which he was. No matter that swallowing his finger allowed him to know of the Jujutsu world, meeting new friends and everything, but Sukuna was also the reason for his impending execution.
“You lack manners for someone who’s only in the passenger’s seat,” Yuuji hissed back and sprinted up the stack of bones, almost tripping when he had stepped on a hollow spot but with his eyes dead-fixed on Sukuna who was slightly shocked but mostly calm, any small injuries he sustained up the bones had no value to Yuuji. All he wanted was to punch the bitchy attitude of his host.
He managed to pull on the scarf around Sukuna’s neck, gripping it tight enough that their faces were almost touching and eyes burning into each others’ even more from that distance. Yuuji thought close combat was his only course of action in that damned domain, and it’s usually his best forte but who was he kidding. His grip on the scarf never let out and he pulled his punches left and right, all dodged by the curse with a lax expression, as if bored. The little fight may not be anything fot Sukuna, but every missed punches Yuuji had made only made him feel worse, reminding him about what he had failed. It’s almost like a casette on repeat at this point. Why can’t I do such a simple thing? Why can’t I save people as much as I wanted to. Why can’t I keep a straight face and keep feeling like this? Why have I only fucking failed?
At the last repeating thought, Yuuji was full of regret and loathing, didn’t even realize that there were tears about to fall. I thought all the tears are wasted on Gojo sensei’s shirt. Apparently it’s not fully dried from my eyes. Sukuna intended to end this play session and so he used the same arm he had been using to block Yuuji’s attacks, to throw a simple yet impactful punch that should have sent Yuuji flying down the skull tower and back into the water. But to his surprise, Yuuji had anticipated it. Of course he would, but Sukuna wasn’t as surprised if he simply dodged it. He literally blocked it, or rather caught his fist in the full impact without budging. Now that’s interesting to see.
Sukuna thought Yuuji would continue to retaliate but... he was shaking. No, he was crying, faced down but his grip on both Sukuna’s scarf and fist not leaving, though it did weaken a bit. He could feel that Yuuji was about to say something but perhaps the lump in his throat made it so only sobs and whimpers came out. Sukuna genuinely loved it when his vessel get broken down like this, but to have the kid suddenly cry mid-fight as if forgetting he was literally dueling with the King of Curses himself was awkward enough for him that he didn’t exactly throw a snarky remark either.
He was left more bewildered when Yuuji sank to his knees, which on itself wasn’t a shocking thing but his grip also never let out. The shocking thing was that Sukuna actually got pulled down on his knees from the sudden weight pulling him, at how Sukuna unintentionally let it happen. Should have kept my guard up even when the kid stopped attacking. How annoying...
From Sukuna’s point of view, he could only see the top of Yuuji’s head and not his face, but he can feel some of the tears from the poor brat’s face dripping down on his knees.
What is this, a pity party? Sukuna thought, and he moved his mouth out of contempt and feeling rather disgusted by the show of weak emotions from someone who was supposed to be this sacred vessel for his reincarnation. I should just break his neck now so he’d just go back to his body. There’s no fun in sending him back in such ease. Sukuna moved his right arm, his only current free hand at the moment and placed it around Yuuji’s throat. He could feel the boy’s adam’s apple moving from his sobs, and surprisingly he didn’t flinch. He actually sighed when Sukuna wrapped his hand around his neck with one hand, as if resigned or glad that he was about to be choked or have his neck break. The curse didn’t want that. He didn’t want Yuuji to get satisfaction for that.
I’m dealing with an immature brat. Sukuna frowned, then sighed at his own ideas in mind of what he should do. Maybe I’d just let the kid cry and pass out himself. Maybe he’d have less annoyingly loud thoughts in the coming days. Didn’t humans say that letting it all out eases the mind? This is an investment, I don’t have to be bothered by the gloomy mind of the boy that makes me more irritated than joyful despite savouring every other form of pain. When he goes out more, I can take advantage of that better, rather than when he’s keeping himself in bed. How useless.
He moved the hand around the boy’s throat, to his nape before pulling Yuuji to his chest. Now that managed to surprise Yuuji more than the possibility of being choked. But he wasn’t pulling away either. As much as Yuuji didn’t want it, but even if it’s the demonic Sukuna himself, he was finding comfort in any sort of touch at the moment. You could say he was deprived, from hiding and being ‘dead’, left to his own thoughts not spoken out loud until Gojo offered himself to listen.
Sukuna tested the waters and actually pushed his sharp thumb nail against Yuuji’s neck, just barely piercing. He could feel the boy’s body flinched slightly but he didn’t pull away. In fact, he was tugging on his kimono more.
Whatever. Sukuna figured there’s not much to faze the boy as of now, and he wasn’t speaking to his dismay. So he just let his hand rest on Yuuji’s nape, and he rested his chin on his head with a sigh. This will take a while. What a hindrance.