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If there was one thing Jayce knew, it was that he could always find Viktor in the lab. After being his lab partner for a few months, he knew the man was working tirelessly, sometimes even during the night, to the point where Jayce started wondering why he was even paying rent somewhere else.
That’s why he reacted when one day he didn’t find him in the lab. Jayce hadn’t been in all day, busy with his work with the Council, but when he returned to the lab in the evening, he expected Viktor to be there. Like he always was.
He wasn’t.
It annoyed him because he was looking forward to talking to Viktor - not about politics, about anything else, because his head felt heavy from having to make decisions all day. It was his job, he knew it was important, that it was his best chance for making an actual difference for the city, but getting his hands on stuff was nice, too, and working in the lab sometimes felt like a break from actual work. But seeing that Viktor wasn’t there made his motivation fade.
Jayce figured he probably went home to sleep, maybe even to eat something for a change, so instead of working, he went home, too.
When he once again came back to an empty lab the next morning, he started to worry. He told himself to calm down, started working, pretending not to think about his partner, but when the sun was low on the sky, he decided it couldn’t hurt to ask Heimerdinger.
“No, I haven’t seen him,” he told Jayce. He didn’t seem like he cared at all.
“Do you have any idea where I could find him?” Jayce asked, and added: “I need his help with something,” even though he didn’t.
“Viktor never told me where he went when he disappeared.”
“Disappeared?”
Heimerdinger finally seemed to sense his distress.
“You don’t need to worry, my boy. He’ll return. Viktor— sometimes needs some time to himself. It isn’t unusual for him to be gone for a couple of days.”
“A couple of days? But—” Jayce cut himself off, not sure where he was going. “Okay, thank you uh, Professor. I’ll just have to— figure the thing out myself, then.”
“I’m here if you need anything.”
But Jayce didn’t need anything from Heimerdinger.
Jayce was hunched over the table, turning the blue gemstone in his hand, when the door opened behind him.
“Oh,” Viktor’s surprised voice said when Jayce got up from his chair. “I did not think you would be here. Why are you sitting in the dark?”
“Where have you been?” Jayce asked, ignoring the questions as he put the stone away. He walked closer to Viktor, looking him up and down to check if he was okay. Viktor looked at him with one eyebrow raised, as if he didn’t fully understand the question.
“You weren’t here all day, not yesterday, either.”
Viktor shrugged and averted his gaze.
“I needed some time to— what’s the expression, clear my mind?”
“Clear your mind, huh?” Jayce huffed, and Viktor frowned at the tone of his voice.
“What’s the matter?”
Viktor started to sound defensive, and Jayce let out a breath, lowering his shoulders. Viktor was okay, it was okay, he could relax.
“Nothing, it’s just— Maybe next time you need to, uh, clear your mind, you could let me know?”
A small smile tugged at the corner of Viktor’s lips.
“Did I worry you?”
“Do you think it’s funny? You’re my partner, we’re working on an important project, it’s not about worrying, you can’t just disappear like that.”
The beginning smile on Viktor’s lips disappeared.
“My sincerest apologies, I am not used to other people worrying about me.” He looked into Jayce’s eyes for a while before he went on. “I’ll let you know next time I go for a walk, though I do not always plan it in advance.”
“It’s fine,” Jayce shrugged, feeling a bit like an overcontrolling partner. “I just needed your help with something.”
“Tell me,” Viktor said as he sat down.
“Never mind. I figured it out myself.”
One evening, a couple of weeks later, just as Jayce considered going to bed, Viktor put on his coat.
“I’ll go and visit a friend.”
“At this time?” Jayce asked, confused, looking out the window into the dark.
“Yes,” he simply answered. “I’ll probably be back again tomorrow, but don’t worry if I’m late.”
Jayce knew that Viktor liked his privacy, and he would never ask him to explain what he was doing, even though he found it suspicious that he left this late and wouldn’t get back until tomorrow. But he accepted it, he had to, it wasn’t like Viktor ever asked him where he was going or who he was with - though he would have no problem sharing it with him. But they were different this way.
“Okay,” he said, and Viktor was gone. Jayce couldn’t see where he was heading, but he figured whatever friends he might have would be from the Undercity, someone from another time of his life.
He was back in the lab the next afternoon, and Jayce took in the look of him when he greeted him almost happily. He looked fine, just as he had when he left last night, but somehow— lighter? His hair was ruffled, his cheeks kind of rosy, and it looked as if whatever worries normally weighing him down had been momentarily lifted off his shoulders. At the same time, he had the tired look in his eyes of a man who definitely didn’t waste his time on sleeping.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Viktor asked bemused, and didn’t his voice sound a bit rough?
“I’m not looking at you like—” And then, it hit him, hard enough for him to pause in the middle of his sentence. He knew exactly what Viktor had been up to. “Like anything,” he mumbled and turned away, a blush heating his cheeks.
All of a sudden he was very thankful that he had managed to keep his mouth shut so far, not to interrogate Viktor further, because it would have meant a very embarrassing moment for both of them.
The late-night adventures, the way he came back and looked all refreshed, the secrets, all of that could only mean one thing; Viktor was having sex. Clearing his mind. Jayce knew the feeling, it worked for him that way, too, he just never thought—
But just because Viktor didn’t express any interest in other people in front of Jayce, or in front of anyone as far as he knew, it didn’t mean that the other man didn’t have needs. Not everyone was comfortable talking about it, and Viktor rarely opened up about anything, so it would be beyond weird if he suddenly started telling Jayce about his sexual adventures.
Almost as weird as it was for Jayce to be sitting here thinking about his lab partner’s sexual adventures.
He cleared his voice and picked up a random piece of paper with notes, pretending to find it very interesting, and heard Viktor move around behind him.
“I hope it was, um, good,” Jayce spoke in a low voice.
“What?” Viktor asked.
Gods, don’t make me say it.
“Your visit. Your— friend.”
“Ah, yes,” Viktor replied. “Thank you, it was a pleasant visit.”
He managed to fight off further thoughts regarding the subject for the next couple of hours, immersing his mind in their project and their usual banter. That was only until Viktor grew quiet, completely lost in scribbling down runes, crossing them out again and scribbling down new ones, over and over again. With every time the pen scratched over the paper, erasing what he just wrote, his brows furrowed more, his shoulders tensed, and Jayce could have sworn that the circles under his eyes got a shade darker.
Maybe if he had slept instead of whoring all night. Or maybe if he got the woman, his friend, to give him a massage instead of just spreading her legs for him. Not that it was any of Jayce’s business.
Barely a week later Viktor was gone again, this time for two days, and when he came back, he limped into the lab.
“You okay?” Jayce asked because Viktor seemed to rely on his cane more than usual.
“Fine.”
Viktor winced when he sat down, and Jayce’s mind short-circuited. Did Viktor— Was the friend Viktor talked about not a woman, but a man? Was Viktor into men?
He took in Viktor’s look; this time he didn’t look revived, not at all. On the contrary, he looked exhausted, like he was in pain, but then again, he had been gone for two days, who knew how much sex he could have in two whole days. Almost forty-eight hours. Or how many people he could be with. Because it couldn’t be only one person wearing him down like that, could it? It had to be more, and there was this brothel in Zaun—
Jayce managed to choke on the air he inhaled.
“Are you?” Viktor asked, and as he shot Jayce a worried glance he was afraid every thought was visible on his face.
“Just—” Jayce coughed a little, trying to think of a response, “—I had something in my throat.” He could barely look at Viktor. “I’ll get some fresh air.”
As soon as he got outside, he leaned against the wall and buried his head in his hands, in a futile attempt to block out the images flooding his mind. He didn’t need to see Viktor being handled by other men this way, Viktor’s sex life didn’t interest him, he never gave it any thought, and yet, here he was - wondering if Viktor liked it rough, if it was always with the same person, if he was safe, and—
He never asked for these thoughts, not to speak of the way his treacherous body reacted to them, and soon enough, it made him angry. With renewed energy, he stomped back to the lab.
“You know what?” he began, startling Viktor, who was deep in thought. He didn’t give him a chance to answer. “It’s fine with me that you go clearing your mind or whatever you’re calling it, and I appreciate you telling me when you’re gone, but it’s supposed to give you energy. We’re working on something important here, Viktor, we’re saving lives, and then you come in today looking like—” Jayce bit his tongue to stop himself before overstepping any boundaries of privacy. His chest was heaving as he fought to control his breathing.
“Why are you so worked up about it?” Viktor asked with curiousness, but unable to hide the hint of annoyance.
“Because I’ve been in here, working, and you’ve been out there having fun.”
At this point, Jayce wasn’t sure if this was half the truth or any truth at all, but it was the only rational way he could think of explaining it.
“I thought we already discussed this.” Viktor narrowed his eyes. “I need it. If you want me to focus properly.”
“And I get that, but honestly you don’t look like someone who’s able to focus much today.”
“You are right. I think this time I might have, uh, overestimated my energy levels.”
Jayce threw up his hands.
“You don’t have to defend yourself.” He wasn’t going to listen to how Viktor went for rounds three and four when he should have just gone home. Neither was he going to think about how a man with Viktor’s physique could even manage more than one round. He shook his head. “I just think you should focus on the important things right now.”
“I’m sorry,” Viktor simply said and returned to his notebook, and Jayce was left with the feeling that he should be the one apologising.
The thoughts never really left his mind, though.
Viktor had this habit of moving around when he was in pain. He didn’t go to bed, he didn’t want to rest, he kept working in the lab but got up from his seat from time to time to wander around. Any other person would just think that he was restless because Viktor never wanted to attract any attention to his situation. He never once mentioned that he was in pain, and Jayce only recognised the signs because he spent a lot of time with Viktor, and because he dared to ask.
When Viktor leaned on the table in front of the huge window, with both hands on the surface, stretching his back, Jayce watched his silhouette, his thin figure, and small waist. He looked so fragile, like his hips would fit perfectly between Jayce’s hands, and he started wondering which positions were best suited for him. Surely, the staff in the brothel would be used to him by now, they probably had someone ready for him who knew what he wanted every time, knew how he liked it, how not to hurt him. Because while the more physically demanding positions might not be for Viktor, Jayce was sure there were a lot of other possibilities where he would be able to show off his skills. You could still be a top even if you were on your back, right? Or maybe Viktor preferred to just take it, and they’d offer him the softest bed, stack a bunch of pillows for him to bend over as he allowed someone to make him feel good.
Jayce was brought back to reality by his own heavy breathing. Why was the room so hot all of a sudden? He barely managed to compose himself before Viktor turned around.
This was getting out of hand.
Viktor passed him closely when he returned to the other side of the room, and Jayce kept his eyes fixed on the floor, thankful that the dim light in this part of the lab helped him cover up any signs that his body might show. Hopefully, the feeling that his cheeks were as bright red as a neon sign was nothing more than just a feeling.
“Will you help me with this?” Viktor asked, seemingly unaware of Jayce’s internal struggles.
“Sure,” he answered, took a deep breath, and joined Viktor in front of the desk.
“Can you pass me the—” Viktor groaned with pain as he turned to point in the direction of the toolbox. He composed himself. “Sorry. The screwdriver.”
“Don’t you think you should take a break?”
And without even thinking, Jayce’s hand was on the small of Viktor’s back, and—
He was pretty sure he used to touch Viktor like this, but suddenly he didn’t recall this feeling of Viktor under his fingers, of the warmth seeping through the fabric, the prominent joints of his spine, and the need to keep his hand right there, to keep in touch, to hold—
“A break does not help,” Viktor sneered, and Jayce let his hand fall. “It does not help me, it does not help anyone. I am in pain no matter what, and people out there are waiting for us to save them.”
Jayce must have looked a little lost because Viktor paused to look at him when he handed over the requested tool without saying anything.
“Sorry, Jayce,” he muttered, turning away from Jayce to start working. “This is a bad day.”
“Yeah, I figured,” Jayce said. “It’s okay, don’t worry about it. Where does it hurt?”
“Everywhere,” Viktor chuckled, sadly, and Jayce didn’t expect him to elaborate, so he was a little taken aback when he did. “My back, mostly. And my leg, but that’s nothing new. But my back does not— Uh, does not usually—”
Viktor trailed off, bending over, focused on a small detail on the model he was working on, and when he spoke again minutes later, he changed the topic.
Jayce could feel him under his fingertips for hours.
It didn’t get easier during the next few weeks. It was like as soon as Jayce had unlocked that part of his brain, he wasn’t able to shut it again. The part that noticed new aspects of Viktor’s body every single day, that made him alert to every little move of Viktor’s, and it was about to drive him crazy.
Long gone were the times when he was able to shut out everything and focus on work for hours. On his good days, he was able to focus for a while, but then he suddenly caught himself zoning out, staring at Viktor, who, luckily, was working, oblivious to the way Jayce checked him out. Because that’s what he was doing now, he couldn’t even deny it.
There was no other explanation for the way his eyes traced the skin on Viktor’s long neck, from the spot behind his ear where his brown locks curled slightly, down to where his prominent collarbone was visible because he left his shirt open at the top. Jayce wanted to explore that route with his tongue, wondered what it would taste like - as far as Jayce knew, Viktor didn’t use perfume, but the times he got close enough he had smelled soapy. Clean. Like fresh linens or night air.
Nothing else could explain why he got all hot and bothered just imagining how soft Viktor’s skin would feel under his palm if he slipped it right under his shirt, how much of a contrast the sharpness of his hipbone would be. How he wanted to count all of Viktor’s moles with his mouth, kiss by kiss, because he was sure there were more than the couple on his face, he already spotted a few on his arms when he rolled up his sleeves. And how cold Viktor’s hands would feel - he knew they were, he accidentally touched them more than once when they were working together - wrapped around his neck, at his hips, pulling him closer, but it wouldn’t matter, because Jayce was warm enough for the both of them.
There was only one explanation, and it frustrated Jayce endlessly. Sometimes, he unintentionally let it out on Viktor, and that’s when he hated himself the most. He got short with him, when he got too close and Jayce got overwhelmed by how he was feeling, or when he once again made a mistake because he couldn’t concentrate. Because he was busy thinking about his partner in ways that were absolutely unacceptable. Viktor didn’t seem to give it much thought, but the flash of worry that Jayce caught in his eyes, as if he’d done something wrong, made Jayce feel like he’d betrayed him.
He didn’t know how to cope with all the built-up energy inside him, and eventually, he went to the forge. After all this time spent inside the lab lately, the physical work quickly tired out his muscles, but it felt good. The heat against his bare chest, the noise drowning out his thoughts, the feeling that he did something.
The sweat was dripping down his back when Mel found him there. She looked at him in that way she always did, as if he was a treasure just about to be discovered, and when she leaned in, her small hand against the beating of his heart, the pent-up energy, though not initially aimed at her, transformed into something else. Her lips against his were hesitant, his grip on her wasn’t, but she didn’t complain. When he followed her to her apartment, he shut off his mind and let his body take over, finally finding a way to get rid of that tension.
It was the evening before they had to present their newest invention to Heimerdinger, and they had been working tirelessly for days to finish it just in time. Suddenly, Viktor was nowhere to be seen, and Jayce wouldn’t give it a second thought if it wasn’t for the fact that the presentation was the following day, and Viktor was usually gone for more than a couple of hours. And sure, Jayce could talk to Heimerdinger alone the next day, but it was their invention, they should both be there.
“Have you seen Viktor?” he asked Sky when she came to drop off a report, still having a tiny bit of hope that he was around.
“I think he left,” she said, and Jayce groaned loudly. “Why?”
“We have a presentation tomorrow, and I was hoping he would be there since you know, it’s our project.” He didn’t even try to hide the discontent in his voice. “But apparently, he has more important stuff on his mind.”
“Are you sure Viktor knows that you would want him to be there?”
Jayce frowned at the weird question.
“Why wouldn’t I want him to be there?”
Sky shrugged.
“He’s stupid sometimes. I’m sure he’ll get back in time.”
But Viktor didn’t.
And while Jayce did the presentation perfectly, because their minds were connected like that and they always shared every bit of information, it just wasn’t the same. When Heimerdinger complimented their hard work and left the lab pleased, Jayce didn’t have anyone to share it with, so he went to the only other person he could think of. Mel. It wasn’t the same, but at least she listened to him, praised him for doing a good job, and she praised him again when they ended up in bed together.
It helped. When he woke up the next morning and went to work before she even woke up, he wasn’t as angry anymore. Good for Viktor, who had magically appeared at some point during the night, and was now leaned back in a chair, a cup of coffee in his hands and his brows furrowed. As soon as Jayce entered his frown disappeared, and he straightened his back.
“What did he say?” he asked, and the enthusiasm was prominent, it didn’t at all match the fact that he didn’t even care to show up for the actual presentation.
“What do you care?” Jayce said as he barely managed to stop rolling his eyes.
“What do you mean?” Viktor asked. He brought the cup to his lips, winced in disgust when he took a sip of the coffee that had probably turned cold while he was working out problems in his mind.
Jayce shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest.
“You weren’t even there.”
“I am sure you did fine without me.”
“Viktor, you’re my partner, this is our project. I expected you to be there.” Sure enough, he wasn’t angry anymore, this was worse. Disappointment. He felt stupid, like he was in fifth grade again and had to do the entire project alone because his classmate let him down. He swallowed the emotion. “But I guess you were busy. Again.”
“I— A friend of mine is helping me with an, uh, problem.” Viktor no longer met his eyes. “I do not expect you to understand.”
“Good,” Jayce snorted. “Because I don’t. I don’t understand why Hextech suddenly isn’t a priority to you anymore. All you do is—”
“Hextech is my biggest priority,” Viktor cut him off, and his eyes suddenly looked darker, narrower. “How dare you say otherwise. Didn’t I finish my part of the job before I left? The only thing you needed to do was show it to Heimerdinger. I thought you wouldn’t mind.”
“The only thing?” Jayce spat. As if the presentation wasn’t a huge part of it all.
“How did it go?”
Jayce sighed and removed a stack of papers to sit down on the desk, dangling his legs over the edge.
“Good,” he murmured. “Heimerdinger was proud of us. He thinks we should present it to the Council soon.”
“See?” Viktor said, an excited smile forming on his lips. He finally put away the cup of cold coffee.
“It’s not the point,” Jayce said flatly.
Viktor’s smile wilted.
“I thought you understood. You used to.”
There was a sad tone to his voice, and Jayce gritted his teeth because it was true. He used to understand. But that was before he started thinking so much, before he got aware of that knot inside him that seemed tighter every time Viktor was gone. When he thought about what he was doing, who he was doing it with. And it wasn't fair, because Viktor was still the smartest person he knew, he still got his job done, he shouldn’t be punished for whatever mess was going on inside Jayce’s mind.
“Yeah,” he said, almost just a sigh. “I mean, I do, it’s just—”
“Just what?” Viktor didn’t sound annoyed, more curious. But Jayce couldn’t tell him, there was no way he would ever understand.
“I don’t know,” he lied. “I had a lot on my plate lately. Guess I just needed you here.”
He gripped the edge of the desk and looked down at his legs.
“Oh,” was Viktor’s response, because what Jayce was saying could be interpreted in different ways, and based on the tone of Jayce’s voice he was aware it didn’t sound strictly professional. He needed his partner to be there, sure, but he also needed his friend.
“Never mind,” Jayce was quick to add, because he felt vulnerable all of a sudden, and he didn’t like it. They didn’t usually open up to each other like that, didn’t talk about feelings. “Of course, you can do whatever you want, be with whoever you want to be with. To be fair, I cleared my mind yesterday, too. With Mel.”
“Good for you,” it came from Viktor.
“But,” Jayce added, jumping down from the desk in an attempt to soften the mood. “I would like you to be here for future presentations. It gets a little lonely.”
The smile Viktor sent him when Jayce touched his shoulder before he walked out was soft, and Jayce wanted to run a hand through his hair.
Things were getting crowded inside Viktor’s head.
After Heimerdinger’s approval of their newest invention, he got them new sponsors, and while the future of Hextech seemed more promising than ever, their schedule grew tighter. There were endless meetings and presentations, and when they weren’t meeting people, they were improving their creations in the lab.
Viktor hadn’t been alone for days.
In the afternoon he was getting restless. His focus was failing him, but they had to finish this in the next couple of hours. When he missed the hole with the tiny screw for the third time, he slammed the screwdriver on the table. The screw bounced on the wooden surface and rolled until it tipped over the edge and hit the floor with a tiny clink.
“I need a break tonight,” he groaned, and Jayce, reading a book across the room with his feet propped on the table, raised his eyebrows at him. “Unless there is another thing you need me to do,” he added because he didn’t want Jayce to feel that he once again left him with all of the work.
“No,” Jayce answered coldly and returned to his book.
“Good,” Viktor said and bent down to pick up the screw. “I’ll only be gone for a couple of hours, I think.”
He didn’t expect any reply from Jayce, but just as he almost managed to fit the screw in the tiny hole, Jayce slammed the book shut and turned his chair around to look directly at Viktor.
“Why don’t you just clear your mind with me?” he exclaimed, and judging by the look in his eyes it was more than just a simple question, but Viktor was unable to decipher the meaning behind the words. Jayce looked like he had said something he shouldn’t have said, like the words stumbled out of his mouth before he managed to shut it. Like he was almost— angry? Viktor couldn’t for the love of any God figure out what it was about, but Jayce’s golden eyes were locked with his, full of insecurity.
“Sure,” Viktor shrugged, because why not? Jayce wasn’t the person he needed distance from, he might as well bring him along for a walk. A little fresh air wouldn’t harm him, and maybe he would even enjoy the view of the lake.
But Jayce’s reaction to his reply wasn’t like Viktor expected. His mouth fell open just a little, and even in the poor lights in the lab, his cheeks were clearly blushing.
“W-what do you mean, ‘sure’?”
“You can join me tonight,” Viktor explained, cocking an eyebrow.
“Okay.” Jayce nodded and ran a hand through his hair, clearly trying to collect himself. “Okay. I promised Mel to have dinner with her, but I’ll be quick, and I’ll meet you here. Okay?”
“Yes, it’s okay,” Viktor said with a smile and fastened the screw in the next attempt.
When Jayce returned to their lab, he was even nicer dressed than normally, but Viktor figured it was because of his dinner with Mel. Jayce looked good every day because, unlike Viktor, he cared about his looks, even when they spent the day in the lab, and while Viktor was still wearing the shirt from yesterday, Jayce had changed to an off-white shirt that complemented his skin perfectly. Over the shirt, he wore a black, satiny vest that didn’t have a single crease, and his hair was nicely combed.
“You might need a coat,” Viktor told him as he put on his own.
“Why? Are we going somewhere?”
“Yes?” Viktor said and raised an eyebrow. “You wanted to spend time with me.”
“Yeah,” Jayce said. “Yeah, I did. I do.”
He sounded almost nervous, but Viktor guessed the last couple of days had been rough on him, too. After all, he was in the Council, he had a lot of pressure on his broad shoulders. Jayce insisted that he didn’t need a coat, and they headed outside.
The city was pleasant at this time of the night when the streets were no longer full of people, and usually, Viktor was able to walk in peace, but bringing Jayce with him meant what felt like a hundred people greeting them until they got further away from the Academy. Walking down the alley surrounded by trees, Viktor enjoyed the silence, and Jayce proved to be the perfect partner for this because, for once, he didn’t talk a lot. It was only the sound of the breeze rustling the leaves above their heads and the gravel under their feet.
“I wouldn’t have thought you enjoyed walking so much,” Jayce said quietly next to him. “You know, with your leg.”
“Walking is fine as long as I don’t have to keep up with anyone.”
Jayce slowed down immediately, even though they weren’t walking fast at all.
“Tell me if you need a break.”
“We’ll be there soon,” Viktor reassured him, and Jayce’s eyes grew wider in surprise.
“Oh.”
“You can go back if you want,” Viktor added, because Jayce was acting a little strange, and he couldn’t figure out if it was because he changed his mind about joining Viktor.
“No,” he blurted out as if Viktor had suggested something incredibly stupid. “I’m not going back.”
Viktor then led him around the corner of an old building. This was his favorite place for the days when he wasn’t in the mood, or didn’t have the energy, to walk all the way to the Undercity. There were never any people here, and Viktor didn’t get it; the place was a gem. Quite literally, the lake resembled the color of the blue gemstones in the lab and the place was so quiet that even his own thoughts seemed too loud.
“Wow,” Jayce said, and for a moment Viktor just watched him take it all in. He looked truly appalled. “I didn’t know this place existed.”
“Probably because you never needed it.”
“What do you mean?” Jayce asked.
Instead of answering right away, Viktor kept walking until he was on the opposite side of the lake, further from the city, where he sat down at a small hill, ignoring the hand Jayce reached out to assist him when he struggled to get down. Hesitantly, Jayce sat down next to him.
“I mean that you are a people person,” Viktor finally said. “You thrive in the masses, in the places where a lot of other people like to stay, whereas I seek out solitude. The only reason I found this place was that I kept walking until there were no more people around me.”
There was a chuckle next to him, and Viktor turned his head to see Jayce smiling softly.
“I love the way you put it. But you’re right. Although people can get a little much, and I have to admit that this place— I like it.” Jayce shifted next to him, running his hand through his hair, almost nervously. “But you’re not— always alone when you disappear, right?”
Jayce’s eyes flickered, and eventually, he seemed to give up on keeping eye contact and started picking at the grass next to his leg.
“Not always.”
He didn’t feel the need to elaborate, Jayce already knew that he sometimes visited a friend. Instead, he started talking about the issues with their next project, the thing he wanted to go here to ponder about anyway. He found that having Jayce here was nice, way better than just being alone with these thoughts. Whatever worries he had, Jayce was able to calm him down, to talk about them and solve them before they spiraled into something he could no longer control.
As the evening passed, Jayce grew quieter, and at one point, when Viktor was lost inside his own head, gazing at the surface of the now dark blue water, he felt Jayce’s eyes on him. He could feel it in the way he fidgeted nervously, the small changes in his breathing, that there was something he struggled to say. And eventually, he did.
“What’s the problem, Vik, am I not good enough?”
The sound of his voice was frustrated and hurt at the same time, and he only met Viktor’s eyes quickly when he turned his head. Despite the increasing darkness, he saw the blush on the other man’s cheeks, and Viktor kept staring at him out of pure confusion, searching his face for an explanation. A minute ago, they were talking calmly about work, and now this?
“What do you mean?”
“I mean,” Jayce said, forcing himself to look at Viktor, a determined but nervous expression in his eyes, “that you— I asked if you wanted to clear your mind with me, and— I know what you’re doing when you’re gone, you’re not just looking at lakes.”
“And what do you think you know that I am doing?” Viktor asked, confusion now mixed with anxiousness because he wondered how much Jayce actually did know about his whereabouts. He had tried to be careful, but his partner wasn’t stupid.
“Do you really want me to say it?” Jayce said, and Viktor’s heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t sure he did. “Fine. You’re having sex.”
Viktor had no chance of biting back the laugh that erupted from him, and as expected, it only cause an offended expression on Jayce’s face.
“I am— having sex?” Viktor could barely get the words past his lips, that’s how ridiculous they sounded.
“Viktor, it’s— It’s fine, I’m not— I mean you can have sex with whoever you want.”
“And exactly who did you imagine I wanted it with?” Viktor asked. This was getting truly interesting. Jayce seemed tense, though, as he swallowed and cleared his voice.
“I know there’s this— place in Zaun. Look I’m not judging you.” Jayce was now looking down at his hands, slowly dividing a straw of grass into tiny pieces, and the pieces finally fit together inside Viktor’s head.
“The brothel?”
The way the words flew out of Viktor’s mouth, or maybe the indignation, made Jayce’s eyes snap up. He shrugged barely visibly.
“Yeah?” it came in a small voice.
Viktor took a moment to get himself together, because as much as he felt a laughing fit threatening to erupt, Jayce didn’t look amused at all.
“Jayce,” he started, taking a deep breath. “Do I look like a person who visits a brothel?”
The way Jayce’s mouth fell open just slightly was almost adorable. He was on thin ice here, and Viktor enjoyed it more than he should.
“I don’t know? No, no maybe not, but— I don’t think you can always see that on people, and I mean, it’s— As I said I’m not judging, and I’ve never seen you interested in anyone around here so I figured— I don’t know, okay?”
Jayce was absolutely flustered now, and Viktor forced himself not to smirk.
“So you figured that I would go to the Undercity and pay someone to have sex with me?”
This time, Jayce didn’t answer; he looked like he didn’t know what he was thinking anymore, and Viktor decided to be nice.
“Why? What made you think I was going there? I told you I was visiting a friend.”
“Yeah, a friend, but you also said you were clearing your mind.”
Jayce looked at him like the phrase was supposed to prove his point, but Viktor didn’t see the connection.
“This is clearing my mind,” he said, slowly, gesturing to their surroundings.
He kept watching as everything seemed to connect in Jayce’s mind. And finally, he spoke.
“Oh.”
“Yes, oh,” Viktor mocked, but suddenly, his breath caught. Because what Jayce said back in the lab— “So,” he continued, choosing his words carefully, “when you asked me to, uh, to clear my mind with you, you did not mean— this?”
“Um,” Jayce said, his blush spreading to his ears. He ran a hand through his hair and cleared his voice, looking at Viktor from under his lashes. Then he sighed as if defeated. “No. I didn’t mean this.”
But it still didn’t make sense to Viktor, because what exactly did Jayce imagine, then? Did he want Viktor to bring him to Zaun? To the brothel? Or when he asked him if Viktor didn’t think he was good enough, did he really mean—
“Sorry, Jayce, but I think I need you to clarify because I’m not sure I understand what you want. Do you want to visit the brothel with me?”
“No, I don’t want to go to the brothel,” Jayce sighed, and suddenly he sounded like he was out of patience. “I wanted to— just the two of us. You know, I wanted you to— to be with me, instead of anyone else.”
This time, it was Viktor’s turn to blush.
“Like—”
The words didn’t come, Viktor couldn’t, probably because this whole conversation felt absurd and what he intended to ask was no exception. Questions proved not to be necessary, though, because he felt Jayce’s hand on his in the grass between them, and he was pretty sure it confirmed exactly what was on Jayce’s mind. That Jayce touched him was nothing new, he had been doing so from the day they met, and Viktor was getting used to it, but this was different - Jayce’s fingers were tentative where his grip was normally firm, calloused fingers brushing over the back of Viktor’s hand before they settled, not quite holding Viktor’s hand, just resting on top of it.
Viktor didn’t move a muscle. Suddenly, the surroundings he had been so fixated on earlier weren’t of any importance. The color of the lake, the distant sound of the city in the night, the smell of the grass around them; nothing compared to the warmth from Jayce’s hand. It was the only thing Viktor sensed.
“Yeah, like that,” Jayce answered the question Viktor never got to ask. “Is this okay?”
Viktor turned his head slightly to look at their hands in the grass. His eyes followed Jayce’s thumb when it brushed over his knuckles.
“Yes,” he whispered, afraid to disturb the moment. “It’s okay.”
Jayce let out a shaky breath and wrapped his fingers around Viktor’s.