Chapter Text
When Nayeon was bitten and left to die by the strange zombie guy, she didn’t scream even with the excruciating pain, perhaps due to shock or she just didn’t care much that she is going to die.
I expected the chance of me dying when I walked out of the door but to die in the first minute is simply comical.
There is no fear, just apathy in her.
But then the ghost of Gyeong Su kneels down to her
“After murdering me, you are just going to die like this…you really are pathetic” – his voice taunting
“I thought I told you to leave…”
“Does it matter? You will soon die, well, share the same fate as I have.”
For a ghost, he sure is annoyingly right. I deserve this. It hurts. It hurts so bad but this is what I deserve. I will die.
Do I want to die?
Nayeon remembers her teacher.
Flashes of Miss Park’s face keep coming back. Faces of Gyeong Su chasing them.
No, not yet. I don’t want to die just yet. I still haven’t properly apologized, the food and water…
Nayeon can still hear Dae Su’s singing tingling in her ears. From Ji Min’s anger towards the adults who abandoned them, On Jo’s message for her father…to Cheng San’s message for his mother. She thinks about them as she slowly crawls towards the bag of food and water.
I should have given this to them sooner. I should have opened the door.
“W-Why? Why??” – her voice hoarse as she muttered out loud.
The ghost of Gyeong Su watching her crawls from the sideline with an unamused expression
“Because you are a coward. You would rather run away and hide than face them.”
He’s right.
She ran because she couldn’t handle the looks of judgment in her peers’ eyes, the weight of what she had done. How blind and selfish she was to not even see Gyeong Su as a human being. Because of how she was raised? No, upbringing is one thing, our action is another. Humans are products of their environment and their reactions to their environment.
I am a product of my actions.
Intense emotions now replace apathy.
Guilt.
Self-loathe.
“Stay alive”
Memories fragments of Miss Park’s last words flood back to her stronger and violently as Nayeon’s heart beats faster and her senses dull.
“It wasn’t your fault”
It was my fault.
“You were scared”
So were the others.
“It was my fault”
It was never your fault.
“I am sorry I cornered you”
Why did you die for me?
“Go to them and tell them…tell Gyeong Su that you are sorry”
It’s too late. It’s too late. Miss Park shouldn’t have gone after her. She should have stayed with her students.
She should have let her die
“Did you really think someone like Miss Park would let a student kill themselves?” – the ghost Gyeong Su now suddenly crouches before her while looking down.
“H-Huh?”
“Miss Park was a good teacher. A good person. She’s not like you, you know? You killed an innocent person out of spite and let a good person die because of you. And now you are going to die here.”
So, just like that? They died and now I die. I murdered Gyeong Su so that I can gain the acceptance of everyone only for me to leave. Miss Park died in order to get me to safety and come back to help everyone only for me to forsake her last wish. Such hollow fates all because of a selfish, stupid girl.
Her heart beats faster. So hard that she thought it was going to bust out of her chest. So this is what it feels like to become a zombie? Nayeon feels no fear for what’s to come. Having locked herself in such a small space got her thinking a lot about what had happened, what she had done. But still, the intense emotions linger.
Shame.
Self-hatred.
Regret.
.
.
.
“Stay alive, Nayeon. You have to stay alive”
I don’t want to die.
“You are going to help them this time, right?
I DON’T WANT TO DIE.
Her eyes shot open as she uses all her strength in an attempt to stand up while locking eyes to the food bag. She can feel the blood dripping down her body from the bite wound but she doesn’t care. No matter what it takes, she will come back to them. At the very least she will deliver the food that her peers desperately want.
I don’t care whether they forgive me or not. I HAVE to. Otherwise, their deaths would be meaningless. My death would be as hollow as my life.
I don’t want to die alone.
At least if I give this to them, even if they loath me in the end (she would not dare to consider the possibility of forgiveness from them). I wouldn’t be alone in my last moment.
Nayeon picks up the food bag, still feeling weak from her wounds but conscious enough to walk, slouching in her first few steps.
Her mind is still hazy, she can’t seem to process that she was supposed to be infected.
Nayeon only has one goal in mind. A drive. A will to find them.
Help them.
As she leaves the room, Nayeon hears a voice now instead of boredom filled with newfound interest.
“For once in your miserable life you actually act for others” – the ghost of Gyeong Su chuckled as he watches her leave the room.
She pauses for a moment. Not sure how to respond.
A few seconds later she walks away but not before muttering as quietly as she can
“I’m sorry”
Nayeon closes the door. The classroom now has no Gyeong Su, just Nayeon’s blood on the floor but the sound of the zombie stuck under the piano didn't fade as she walks further away from the classroom.