Monster

by Lordofalldarkness

Summary:

Since his beloved sister has died, Jervis is alone, and all that's left for him is her old diary he has kept to himself. A diary full of memories, bittersweet memories telling a story of two lost souls who had nothing but each other and got brutally separated in the end.
This is the story of Alice and Jervis Tetch.

(The archive warnings don't really fit but this is still heavy content.)

Chapter 1: Prologue

Dawn is breaking, dyeing the sky in the most beautiful colours nature can produce. Shades of red, orange and purple blending into each other, making the look out of the little window rather seem like the look at a painting in a museum. Mysterious. Calm.

But this is not a museum. This is just the small shack he sometimes uses as a hideout or as a place to rest. To think. To seclude himself from the outer world when everything becomes too heavy and all he wishes for is to forget all the things that have happened, remote from the city and all its turmoil.

This evening though, he isn't here to forget. No, quite the opposite. He's here to remember. Away from every possible distraction, he's sitting here, surrounded by the scent of wood and moss, at the table, only him and the precious little book he has kept like a treasure for a while without daring to open or even touch it.

His sister's diary. Her thoughts and feelings. Her life.

Since her death it has been in his possession. Nobody else should have it. The thought another person could've taken it makes him sick. And yet, he hasn't read it up to this day. He really didn't want to be disrespectful. Even after her death, she should have her privacy, shouldn't she?

Still... he can't keep himself from doing it anymore. She's been gone for so long now. How long has it been? It feels like an eternity. Every day without her is an incomplete day, a day that shouldn't be. He really can't stand it anymore. He needs to be close to her again, and apparently, this is the only way to be near her. Everything that's left.

„Alice,“ he whispers, stroking cautiously over the cover of the book. „I'm still with you.“

Taking a deep breath, he opens the book, slowly, and takes in the sight of the first page, filled with her neat and pretty handwriting. This is their story. A gate to their past, to the time they've spent together, back when they still had each other. So many memories. At this point, he isn't even prepared for all the things this book will cause him to remember.

The book of their life.

The story of Alice and Jervis Tetch.

Notes:

Hey everyone! c: Just some things I want to say in advance:

If you intend to read this story, I hope you've read the tags as well. I'm aware of how unhealthy and problematic some things are that will happen in this fic – and I definitely don't want to glorify toxic behaviour in reality. I'm just a little writer who loves to delve into dark topics and put himself into the shoes of mentally wrecked characters. (Especially Jervis. :'D)

Another thing I'd like to mention: In my headcanon, Jervis has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and that will show in this fic, even though it is never directly addressed. The inspiration for that came from another author here on AO3 who also writes Jervis as someone with BPD in their series 'Obsession-laced affections'. (Great series! Don't know the author personally though, so I hope they don't feel uncomfortable with it mentioned here. qwq Just wanted to give them credit because that's where my BPD-headcanon came from!) Personally, I don't have BPD, so I hope my portrayal isn't incredibly wrong. (If it is, I apologize but please let me know!)

I guess that's all I have to say for now! Oh, and the next chapters will be much, much longer (and have less personal commentary at the end - I'm sorry for talking so much!!).