Chapter Text
(20*7*90)
The sunrise was a rare thing to witness for both of them.
For Kirby, that's just because he rarely had reason to wake up so early. Even his major journeys so far tended to either wrap up before midnight or give just enough time to get several hours of sleep til after daybreak. In fact, he wouldn't be up right now at all if it wasn't for his current viewing companion.
Epsilon had never truly seen a sunrise, even before their millenium-long imprisonment. Back when they called themself "Lord Zero", they had largely operated under the darkness of night, not even caring to view stars as anything more than to be snuffed out. The attitude had changed a lot, of course - nearly a thousand years of complete solitude would leave just about anyone craving something other than unending darkness, even a pure embodiment of Dark Matter. (Which they still were, "reincarnated" as a puffball or not.) As such, they really wanted to see the yet-unexperienced beauty of a sunrise, even if it had taken a little longer to get around to than they would've liked.
"Careful there, Epsi. Staring at the sun isn't good for you!"
Epsilon turned their gaze away from the colors painting the sky, toward his new friend. "I've been waiting for this for over a year, Kirby. My eyes can handle this view just fine."
"Even a- uh, hang on..." Kirby trailed off a little, thinking. "Would being a powerful entity make you less vulnerable to bright light, or would being Dark Matter be more vulnerab- make you worse off?"
"It's not about literal light - unless your sun's made of pure Heart Matter somehow, it wouldn't be any worse to me than anyone else. And Dark Twilight would've noticed that while pos-"
"Wait, I thought it was Soul Matter?"
The black puffball shrugged. "They're different things. I've only ever seen fairies embody Heart Matter anyway."
Kirby flopped down onto his back. "Cool, cool... love to get involved with prima- primmol... primordal? Forces that shaped the universe or whatever."
"You've only dealt with us... and sort of Twinkle. Indirectly."
"Twinkle Popopo... always sorta thought he was just some figure made up to justify our 'clan' being called Popopo. And now he's just waiting... waiting around to..."
They both paused for a minute, staying still.
Kirby eventually broke the tense silence with a, "-waiting behind us to strike at any moment!" He swiveled around to see-!
Oh. It was just Meta Knight.
...Wait, why?
"Kirby," stated the masked puffball, waving a butterfly off his shoulder plate. "I have come today to of-"
"Ah maaaan," interrupted Kirby. "I haven't seen you in, what, five years? It's gotta be really bad if you're finally showing yourself."
"Kirby-"
"What, did Nightmare return from being exploded? Did someone evil crawl up from the Great Cave?"
"Kirby."
"Ooh, is Dream Land being attacked by outdated references?"
"Kirby!"
"Fiiiine, I'll stop."
The knight grumbled audibly. "...You are one of the most powerful warriors I have known, and a valuable defender of Dream Land... Pop Star as a whole, even."
"Thank you~"
"Today, I come here to ask you to solidify that protection. If this land comes under outside threat again... we must be ready to eliminate it immediately."
Kirby tilted his head. "Uh, it takes longer than instantly to-"
"I am asking you to help me mobilize Dream Land for its own protection."
"...uh? I feel like Dedede wouldn't be happy with-"
"And depose the king."
The pink puffball stared at Meta Knight. "That's... kinda harsh? I know Dedede's not a good ruler, but he... hasn't really done anything wrong in a while? He doesn't really impact us too much anymore."
"That's exactly it - he doesn't make the impact he needs to. A proper king would have long since been ready to take on the Darkness, instead of allowing Dream Land to wallow in laziness like it's been doing for far too long."
"Meta, you're kinda concerning me... I promise, I can already handle Dark Swordsmith or whoever's still with him now."
"And the full brunt of their forces? Their ancient leader?"
Kirby kept staring... then started giggling. "Hehe... oh wow, you haven't kept up at alllll, have you?"
"What in stars do you mean?"
"I guess going in and actually learning current events would get in the way of your whole mysterious barely-giving-any-info shtick... anyway, Epsi's right here!"
Epsilon backed away. "Kirby, I'm not sure it's a good idea to..."
"What is the meaning of this?!" demanded Meta Knight.
"They're our friend now! And, like, most of their spawn-offspring-whatever are too! They've been staying here for like a year, and haven't-"
"You let Dark Matter fester on Pop Star for a year and didn't eliminate it?!"
Kirby's smile faded away, as he backed away from the knight. Epsilon looked just about ready to flee, anticipating an attack or at least another outburst at any moment...
...instead, Meta suppressed his visible anger. "...I see," he spoke, eerily calm now. "You have lost your direction... no matter. I will see to it that we sort it out once I rule."
"Okay, that's not happening."
"Sunset, Kirby. Enjoy your aimlessness until then... if you continue to oppose our takeover, I won't hold back any longer." And before he could offer Kirby or Epsilon the slightest chance for rebuttal, Meta Knight wrapped his cloak around himself, twirling rapidly until he vanished into thin air.
"Hey, get back here!" shouted Kirby, looking around quickly to try and spot the knight. "I beat you before, I can do it again!"
Epsilon sighed heavily. "I guess it was too much to ask that he would be alright with my presence..."
"We can't just leave it at that! We gotta stop him! I don't know where he went, but... but but, um..." Kirby trailed off, clearly frustrated. "How do we..."
"I don't think you could find him now," came a voice from behind. "Not unless someone managed to get a tiny little tracker placed on his armor."
Kirby turned around to see... well, there was the butterfly Meta Knight brushed off before. The red-yellow one that Paula always called Morpho.
Also there was the red puffball Paula herself, smirking.
Notes:
Hovertext gags are a thing of the past now.
So this is what I'm doing now I guess! As I said in the commentary for the final full-comic page ("Vibrant Knight"), I wanted to shift to this format primarily because doing the comic itself was too exhausting to keep up with for so long, but also I wanted to finish what I started. We'll see how it goes! It's on slightly shaky ground right now purely because I'm distracted with Legends Arceus and Outer Wilds and thus haven't started writing this opening chapter until late February... but I won't give up!
(also, legit question, do I tag Zero (Kirby) for characters here, since Epsilon in this AU doesn't go by that name anymore and has a different form)
Chapter Text
“So what’s the plan?”
Paula didn’t turn to answer Kirby, still focusing on her monitor. “It’s hard to say… all we have is the location. Eastern coast, right by the southern edge of Yogurt Yard… what’s there again, Morpho?”
“Oh, hey!” Kirby interjected, ignoring the butterfly’s morse code response of flaps and flutters. “That’s the, um, the mine, isn’t it? Where I fought Heavy Mole for that Star Rod piece! And… huh, that’d be a convenient big space to hide an operation, wouldn’t it? What’ve they got in… oh!” He trailed off, looking up at the large screen on the wall, set to a video feed of the tracker on Meta Knight. The final door in front of him was finally opening, revealing the giant hangar beyond, which housed…
…oh.
Oh, that was a massive ship. Bigger than Dedede’s castle, maybe! And with all the artillery mounted along the surface, including some kind of oversized cannon up top… the self-proclaimed king wouldn’t stand a chance.
And of course, there was one particularly striking feature about it, which Kirby was the first to point out, breaking the stunned silence.
“He put his own mask on it?!”
“Sir Meta Knight! How’d it go, sir?”
The swordsman turned to Axe Knight, who was standing eagerly beside the entrance. “Unfortunately, Kirby has chosen… poorly. I suppose it’s natural for a naive young one like him to sympathize with the enemy… no matter. Together, we can easily quell any rebellion of his.”
Axe Knight’s posture noticeably drooped. “Er… sir, with all due respect… are you certain about that? I mean, we may have the sheer power, but the morale… I can’t imagine all of us would be eager to fight Dream Land’s most prominent hero of recent years?”
“Ahh, who needs heroes?”
The two knights turned toward their… colleague, to put it nicely. Vul Chircaetes, official captain of the battleship, major source of funding for the Meta-Knights, and entirely unpleasant to work with.
“I say heroes do nothing but disappoint,” he continued, crossing his arms. “Sure, you might get impressed with them once or twice, but they’ll never inspire you forever. And heaven help you if you ever actually have the displeasure of meeting them! Why, I ever tell you lot about the time I ran into sorry ol’ Captain Stitch?”
“Three times so far,” stated Meta Knight.
Vul launched into his story anyway, detailing every last complaint he had, though at least he started proceeding to the ship itself at Axe Knight’s urging. Meta Knight was, at least, used enough to this that he could tune out the cranky bird’s ranting.
The puffballs listening in were less fortunate.
“Shut uuuup already,” complained Kirby, hands over his lack-of-ears. “I get it, I wasn’t impressed with him either, but at least let us hear important info!”
“I don’t think we’re getting any more useful info right now,” said Paula, turning down the volume. “We need to decide how we’re approaching this. Should we strike early before the battleship launches, or do we wait until they open their doors…”
“...So you’re coming, then?”
Paula nodded. “Of course! If Morpho and I tag along with you, we can learn everything we can about this ship, including how to best disable it!”
A silent pause.
“...Kirby?”
“Yoooou just wanna tag along for cool adventures, don’t you?”
Paula huffed. “Is that so wrong? Look, I promise I can hold my own in there, alright? We made it through that Dark Matter battle royale just fine, after all.”
“...And Morpho?”
The two puffballs looked over at the butterfly, sitting at a different monitor. The insect took a second to respond, flitting down onto the keyboard below and sort of bouncing between letters, until finally they had a message typed out:
not going to live forever - i want to do something cool
“...Huh,” Kirby remarked. “Bit of a downer way to put it… look, no one really dies on these adventures anyway. You’ll be fiiine.”
Notes:
“I mean, I guess Nightmare sorta exploded and died, but I think that’s just because he was a demon and a wizard.”
I’ll get the actual hang of this format change soon enough. And also this upload schedule - this was supposed to be made for last Saturday but whoops I didn’t start typing it out until Sunday even.
Chapter Text
“...If there’s any time, it would be now.”
Silence.
Meta Knight sighed and braced himself. It had been years now, and so far this had never worked… but wouldn’t this be the perfect time for it? This was his hour of need, when he needed to pull out all the stops. Even besides needing the immense power to aid in his coup, surely wielding an ancient possibly-divine artifact like this would legitimize his rule more than anything else.
And yet, as he once again wrapped his hands around the hilt and pulled with all his might, the sword stubbornly refused to come out of its pedestal.
“...This is no time to refuse me,” Meta Knight grumbled. “I require your power in order to conquer and protect Dream Land. Without your aid…”
He trailed off, considering for a moment, before pulling out a different sword. The blade, dubbed ‘Master’ by his fellow knights, was never quite as sharp as the one he truly wanted, its golden metal never gleamed quite as brightly, it lacked the prongs to pass as the real deal… but it was the best Meta Knight had been able to obtain, and it had at least let him prevail in every battle thus far.
Well, every battle except his previous duel with Kirby.
The knight shook his head, choosing to mentally brush aside any lingering doubts. “...In truth, I may still be able to take over the land with this lesser blade. Though it may not be your equal, I still have a great deal of experience with this…”
He looked over the glowing sword in front of him. Silence.
“...Of course, if I’m not at my full potential power, it may very well take longer to secure my place as ruler… things might become messier. Battles just may become more drawn-out… and bring unnecessary suffering to all.”
Silence.
“Surely the people of Dream Land deserve as swift and seamless a change of power as possible? I certainly don’t want to cause more damage than strictly necessary… would not such concern make me worthy to wield you?”
Yet again, silence. Silence that filled the dark armory room, leaving Meta Knight to stew in his frustration.
Finally, after a solid minute of waiting (and another useless tug), the swordsman gave up and turned around. “I’m simply out to protect Dream Land and its people,” he stated, as he opened the door to let light flood in. “And if the great Galaxia can’t see that… perhaps you’re not such the ultimate sword after all.”
And so Meta Knight left to begin his takeover, slamming the armory door shut and leaving the golden sword behind.
Notes:
cranky because you’re unworthy of galaxia aren’t you
Yeah I know “Master” in Amazing Mirror is just supposed to be the same sword as Galaxia and they just didn’t name or design it consistently until like RtDL but this was an idea I’ve had knocking around for a while. Might be a bit of influence from probably-now-nonexistent sprite comic Dumbity, too. I don’t remember the relative timing.
Chapter Text
“Reactor 1, output normal.”
“Adjust the balancer to… 0003!”
The three zipped eastward through the air, skimming only a few meters above the ground. Paula was the one actually piloting this thing - the Winged Star had been one of her (and Kiyosi’s) pet projects, after all. Plus, even if Kirby hadn’t crashed a Warpstar in a while, he still didn’t really have it down, so he was stuck hanging onto the back while Morpho hung onto him.
“Are we gonna make it?,” he asked, struggling to raise his voice above the wind howling past them. Sunset was already upon them, the sky gradually turning orange, and missing Meta Knight’s deadline would be the absolute worst thing right now.
“I think so!” Paula shouted back. “They’re doing last-minute checks now - you can hear them over the tracker, right? You should be able to hear that through Morpho’s micro-receiver!”
“Let’s raise the anchor.”
“Check anti-gravity plant. 1, 2, 3, OK!”
Before Kirby could think to ask what exactly an anti-gravity plant was, he saw it. Nestled right by the coastal mountains, a dome of metal had been built into the former mine entrance, opening up to reveal the ship itself. He couldn’t tell from this distance yet, but there were surely plenty of minions boarding and preparing by now…
“...Okay, stealth’s out of the question now,” he started mumbling to himself, “so our best bet is to get there and somehow stop them from taking o-”
“Release the sails, solar level 288!”
With a bright flash of light, four massive bat-like wings materialized atop the ship, the larger two stretching out as if they were about to start actually flapping. A sight so striking, it almost distracted Kirby from an even more important point - the thrusters on the back were already beginning to fire.
He gasped. “Ahh! We’re too late! They’re taking off now!”
Morpho flapped out another morse code message - f-o-c… focus? Kirby was a bit too panicked to finish translating, and Paula was too busy adjusting their speed so they wouldn’t straight-up crash into the deck. She was also getting ready to bail off any second now… and Kirby needed to be ready too. They were here - the time had come.
“The time has come. The time to show our power!”
“Dream Land’s lazy lifestyle will end! I will rule!,” The knight allowed himself to bellow these words, raising his fist into the air in a pre-emptive show of triumph. “With the almighty battleship Halberd, we shall prevail! Nothing can ever again stand in our-”
“Kirby’s here!,” Axe suddenly shouted. “Kirby and his red friend! They’re flying this way!”
“...what?!”
A few of the other crewmates started to panic - that Waddle Dee especially - and while Meta Knight was tempted to storm up and take out Kirby right then and there, he couldn’t. He had to be a leader now more than ever, and that meant staying calm in the face of such adversity. Outwardly calm.
“...All on deck, prepare for battle!,” he announced to everyone. “All others, prepare for takeoff!”
Notes:
Everyone talks about Meta Knight putting his face on the Halberd, but nobody talks about him doing the same with the wing sails.
With how I’ve mentally mapped out Dream Land, it doesn’t make sense for Kirby and company to be zooming across the water toward the Halberd like in the real game. And yet, Revenge of Meta Knight is like the primary reason I imagine Orange Ocean as being off Dream Land’s eastern shore in the first place. Go figure.
This is probably the last chapter I’ll have finished and posted before Forgotten Land comes out. No guarantees when I’ll get it exactly, but I will say right now that I’m definitely not going to incorporate any new lore into this part of KDLA. Too soon.
Chapter 5: KDLA #281: A Now-Hostile Relative of a Once-Ally in New Territory Driven by Spite
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Paula was certainly a better driver than Kirby, but there was still only so much she could do when the workers atop the Halberd turned their attention toward the Winged Star. Their attempts at firing were scattered and disorganized, but that almost made it harder to avoid collisions. An errant shot from a Laser Ball here, a GIM spin-kicking there… it was a wonder they were going unscathed for this many sec-
*Ka-blam!*
A sudden explosion sent the puffballs careening through the air! Fortunately, this wasn’t Kirby’s first imminent crash, so he was able to spring into action - reach over, take hold of Paula, and use himself as a cushion for her fall. He was fine, he’d taken more than his fair share of falls by now.
“Oof… you alright?,” asked Paula.
Kirby shook his body a bit. “I’m good… who the heck blasted us, anyw- Bommer? The heck?” He’d already spotted the perpetrator - that one Poppy Brother (Junior) who’d helped him that one time years ago!
Paula blinked. “Wait, Boomer? I thought he was-”
“No, no, not Boomer! This one’s Bommer. The other halfway-decent Poppy Bro… at least before joining a coup attempt, apparently.”
“...why would they name themselves that…?”
The Poppy Bro himself sighed, juggling another bomb in his hands. “Hey, that’s all thanks to our pop, y’know? Good ol’ Pops Poppy. But the point is, we’re not taking any more nonsense from Dedede, and I really thought you’d- wah!”
While Bommer had been talking, Kirby had already set to work, inhaling one of the GIM and finally getting Yo-yo ability for himself. With a quick spin, he knocked away the surrounding enemies, and made a dash for the nearest door. “We’re still taking out the thrusters first, right?,” he called out in Paula’s general direction. “Then go for the wings, maybe whatever engines they have? Let’s get this done quickly!”
Paula tried to yell at Kirby to hold up, but it was too late to stop him. She sighed and ran off, hoping to catch up before the crew could retaliate… she was already hearing through the tracker something about releasing their “Heavy Lobster” weapon…
Notes:
If a Poppy Bro had to swab the deck, would he be called Moppy Poppy?
Bommer Poppy I don’t think has even shown up since the first arc (not counting the #100 group shot). I thought it’d be fun to put some extra variety in the enemy encounters here.
Chapter 6: KDLA #281.5: Shadows Justified (April Fool’s 2022)
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
This escapade had just started, and Paula was already kind of worried. Kirby definitely seemed like he was heading down to the thrusters like initially planned, and she wasn’t having any issues keeping pace thanks to him knocking all guards out of the way. But it seemed like they were cutting it a bit close… like they were going to run into a big roadblock any second now.
And sure enough, once the puffballs emerged onto the back of the ship, they found themselves face-to-face with a hushggcvbeffgnhhewteitoooooo
ooOOooOOooOOooOOoo
…………
“Hey, whoops, sorry about that. Just gonna detour the story real quick. Don’t worry about it too much.”
…with a huge shadow. Pitch black aside from large red spikes in its center and two piercing eyes, it continued to grow out of the pool of darkness on the ground, stretching up higher and higher.
“...Interesting,” mused the commander. “So, there is a Pokemon that can only appear as a shadow.”
The creature only continued to grow, sending out another pulse of dark energy that made even the nearby keepers of time and space step back. It began to take a more distinct shape, as well: horns protruded from its top, a sort of head morphing around as a wide smile became faintly visible. The spikes shifted to both sides, becoming pieces of great shadowy wings, misshapen but still capable of stretching out across the ruins.
“...I do wonder if this may be yet another otherworldly intruder.” Even faced with such an imposing being, Cyrus showed absolutely no hesitation or concern. “The energy emanating from it… antimatter? Dark matter, perhaps. But if so, it is out of its depth… such an outsider has no place to determine the fate of this world, nor the one I intend to-”
“Oh, put a sock in it!,” yelled one of the kids. The blonde loudmouth. “Anyone new’s the perfect kinda guy to shake things up and drive fate! Just look at him!”
Cyrus turned back to the meddlers. Indeed, they did have an otherworldly interloper in their midst… Lucas, Dawn, and even Barry were all prodigies in their own right, true, and Cynthia in the back was herself a force to be reckoned with, but there always had been the matter of their tag-along. The man from some sort of fantastical wonderland… the mustachioed plumber.
“You don’t-a-need to do this,” pleaded Mario. “Even in a world you say holds-a-no meaning… you can still-a-find joy and purpose. And it’s-a-wrong to take that away from everyone else!”
“Enough blabber,” dismissed Cyrus. He somehow remained unmoved, even faced with the juxtaposition of sincere sentiment and goofy accent. Or perhaps that was distracting him from the shadowy creature now behind him, clearly ready to lunge. “I, Cyrus, won’t have any more interfer-”
*Punch!!*
Everyone, shadow creature included, watched in stunned silence as Cyrus flew back onto the ground, with the previously unnoticed mutant Turtonator Bowser pulling back his fist and letting out a roar of triumph.
“How’s that for a return, plumber boy?!” he boasted. “Bet you weren’t expecting me to even show up in this region at all, but you’d be wrong! And I’ve got an all-new team of tough guys, plus Metapod’s in better shape than ev-”
“Do you mind?!” bellowed the shadow. “I was all set to dispose of that fool, and you show up to grandstand?”
“You wanna piece of this too? Gwahahaha! I’ve faced worse than you!” (Lies.) “What, you think I’m afraid of you? Oh noooo, a shadow! Go haunt some baby!”
“...That is it. Mark my words, I shall traumatize your firstborn.”
“I’d like to see you try!”
“And see, here’s where the chain starts.”
“It took a couple years and a bit of a dimension hop, but Giratina did eventually find a suitable target for his threat - Ludwig von Koopa.”
“This prompted Ludwig to build his supposed shadow-removing machine…”
“And that thing’s malfunction resulted in the creation of…”
“...me! Shadow Cly!”
“Oh, don’t give me that look. You get your Kirby fanfic back, like, tomorrow.”
Notes:
Arceus doesn’t even pay any attention to what’s happening on their doorstep, do they.
The main idea behind this random detour was the idea of “what if my failed attempt at a Pokemon / Mario crossover had continued to the extent I planned it all those fifteen years ago?” It’s actually a thought I’ve had for a few years now, but only now is it getting put into action. And then came back around to an old Extreme Team plot point because I like giving overcomplicated explanation for the plotholes in my dumb comic. That or say A Wizard did it.
Why did I redesign Shadow Cly when she’s not gonna actually feature in KDLA in a real capacity? Because I could.
Chapter Text
This escapade had just started, and Paula was already kind of worried. Kirby definitely seemed like he was heading down to the thrusters like initially planned, and she wasn’t having any issues keeping pace thanks to him knocking all guards out of the way. But it seemed like they were cutting it a bit close… like they were going to run into a big roadblock any second now.
And sure enough, once the puffballs emerged onto the back of the ship, they found themselves face-to-face with a huge metallic beast. It was like a crustacean made of brass, with claws spread out as if to make itself appear even more imposing. The robotic creature leaned down slightly to peer at the puffballs, carefully observ-
donk
And of course, Kirby had just hit it with the yo-yo. To no visible effect.
“Ready for takeoff now!” a voice from Paula’s receiver piped up. “She can fly at any time!”
“Hurry it up,” demanded Vul’s voice. “Heavy Lobster, attaaaack!!”
The beast finally took action, swinging one claw forward to hit Kirby. The pink puff jumped over it easily, but the next swing of his yo-yo proved even less effective than before - the Heavy Lobster snagged the rope. Swinging up and down, it slammed Kirby into the floor a few times, the last hit knocking the ability out and sending him bouncing away in a daze.
Paula, for her part, had already run behind Heavy Lobster and hit it with a couple laser beams. Unfortunately, they didn’t seem to have much effect either… maybe if she found a weaker point. One beam at the creature’s “ankle” did get it to pause for a second… before it leapt up and turned to face Paula directly. As the robot landed, a shutter opened up where its mouth would be, releasing a miniature version of itself that began chasing Paula. The red puffball dashed away, but Heavy Lobster shook the floor by hopping up and down several more times.
Just when it seemed Paula might lose her footing entirely, Kirby ran back over and sucked up the mini-Lobster, spitting it right back at the main beast’s face. Heavy Lobster actually seemed to recoil at this hit, if only a little, and it opened its claws wide to retaliate with…
…it never actually got to retaliate, because that moment was exactly when the thrusters began to fire for real. While Heavy Lobster’s body was able to take the brunt of the heat and the force, the two puffballs were still sent flying incredibly far, getting whisked away by the strong winds and bouncing off who-knows-what before landing in the nearby sea.
Notes:
More like Heavy Jobber, given the purpose of this fight.
How did this chapter end up so much shorter than the joke one from yesterday.
Chapter Text
“Looks like Kirby and his friend got blown into the ocean.”
“Man, that was close.”
“Haha… soon, this great flying fortress of mine shall rule over all of Dre-”
“Yours? We’re still piloting this thing for you! Sir Meta Knight, back us up!”
“At this moment, I wish to send a message directly… but in the likely event our demands are not met, why don’t you all steer the Halberd toward a… shall we say, a testing ground. Off to Grape Garden!”
Paula finally made it to shore, giving herself a moment to rest and for Kirby to swim closer. She looked up at the battleship, noting that it had already started turning north, and distinctly did not panic. Clearly not one iota of one degree of panic in her being right now.
“Okay, okay. This is fine,” she told herself. “They’re leaving here for Grape Garden? Grape Garden, cloudy area up north, Grape Garden. Cool, cool cool cool. We can totally find something useful in this very much not Grape Garden area. That’s super far away from Grape Garden. Down here in not-”
“Pleeease don’t tell me you’re gonna make that a whole thing this chapter,” interrupted Kirby, who had just caught back up. “This isn’t Grape Garden. Everyone knows that. No one would make that mistake, so there’s not much point to stressing it for a whole page. Or, I guess, chapter.”
“I’m not stressing!” Paula lied. “I’m simply… trying to get things under control. Re-emphasizing things we definitely know, because I certainly don’t know how we’re catching back up to that Halberd!”
“Wait, is there a problem with it? I hope not…” That other voice was only faintly familiar to Paula, but Kirby picked up on it right away.
“Iron Mam!”
The spiky-armor-clad lady gave a wave, her companion-slash-adoptive-brother Bounder walking up right behind her. “Hey again, pink guy. And your buddy. Yeah, um, I guess the TAC’s out of the bag! That’s the secret project we’ve been working on for the past couple years! A fully-fledged airship! It’s… kind of a disappointment that they didn’t tell us it was launching, but they did at least pay super well. And hey, now we get to tell everyone we did this!”
Kirby’s hands were already against his face. “Guuuuys. I dunno if exposure is gonna be much benefit when it’s connected to a coop! Or, uh, a coo? Silent P.”
“...wait, what?”
*One quick explanation later!*
Iron Mam groaned. “Seriously… I can’t believe this. The biggest project we’ve had since the ‘map screen excavation’, and it turns into this kinda mess.”
“Hey, it’s not so bad,” Bounder mused. “Dedede always did need to be knocked off that pedestal his ego made for himself.”
“This isn’t about Dedede being bad!” Kirby yelled. “Like, sure, he is! The guy steals food-”
“Wasn’t that six years ago now?”
“Four with the Dyna Blade thing. Anyway- Meta Knight wouldn’t be good either! He keeps people on the most extreme ‘need-to-know’ basis imaginable, refusing to admit any but the most basic reasons for his motivations! Other than I guess pure… uh… fear of the unknown! I think there’s a word for that! Look, if anything, he’d be a lot more hands-on than Dedede, and that doesn’t sound too great to me!”
Bounder chuckled dryly. “And what, kid? You’d be a better king?”
“No! I don’t want that either! Why do we even need a king?! I just want to stop Meta Knight before he starts an actual war!”
“...okay, look.” Bounder glanced up at the sunset-colored sky. “There’s a bunch of planets surrounding Pop Star, right? Surely you can find a few options to hide yourself and yo-”
And that’s when Iron Mam bopped him on the head. That had to have hurt, given her metallic… gloves or hands, no one really knew.
“Please don’t listen to Bounder’s advice,” she insisted. “You want to catch up to that ship and knock some sense into Meta Knight? Well, I spotted a Warpstar in that small patch of woods - should still be there.”
Kirby smiled wide. “Thanks, Iron! Don’t worry, we’ll handle this quickly!”
“Glad to hear it,” she responded, waving the two puffballs off. “Keep this from escalating, alright?”
“...Will do! Totally!”
Notes:
They weren’t even that far, Meta Knight absolutely could’ve invited them to the launch.
Years ago, long before I had any notion of doing KDLA in written form, I envisioned a comic page here which consisted entirely of Kirby and Paula constantly reiterating that Grape Garden was not this stage. People always seem to think it is, even though Grape Garden is known to be a sky cloud area, and also Meta Knight says they’re going there when the Halberd is clearly pointing away from Kirby. I dunno, it’s always been weird. But not strong enough to support a whole chapter on its own.
Iron Mam’s comment about “map screen excavation” is a reference to KDLA arc 2, “Nightmare in Dream Land”, where pages between worlds showed Dedede and Sir Kibble set up in the literal map screens of Kirby’s Adventure thanks to Iron Mam and Bounder having (mostly) excavated them. It was a silly plot point.
Chapter Text
If there was one advantage to hanging around in Castle Dedede, it was having the big screen for movie nights.
Okay, there were several other advantages, many of them more important. Some might argue that the presence of the hammer-wielding king himself was enough to sour the whole experience, but Barry Day knew better. True, he was still a bit lazy and self-centered, but he’d certainly grown! He would check on his staff to make sure everyone was in good condition, he’d long since opened up the castle to regular visitors, and there was no way he’d consider stealing everyone’s food again. Kirby has been a pretty major influence, of course, but Barry liked to think his fellow Waddle Dees and Doos were just as much of a -
“What’re we watching, anyways?”
Barry perked up from his train of thought, turning to Keeby. Kirby’s yellow brother had been coming to these pretty regularly, and Dedede was more than happy to have a Megaton Punch Champion around. At this rate, he’d be palling around with Kirby in no time!
…Oh, right, the question. “Ah, I thought someone would’ve told you already!” Barry finally responded, adjusting his blue bandana. “We all decided that you get to pick! Well, all except Bugzzy, but none of his choices were family-friendly.”
Keeby gasped, his eyes practically sparkling. “Woah… for me? You sure?”
“Hey, your birthday’s literally tomorrow, right? Consider it kind of an early gift from us at Castle Dedede!”
“Wowie… it’s like Dedede giving an actual present! Thank yooou~!”
The bandana’d Dee nodded cheerfully. Keeby was sort of the perfect guest to have around - just as friendly as Kirby, without the baggage of having kicked Dedede’s butt nearly as much. The best kind of kid to have a nice relaxing hangout wi-
“Attention, King Dedede! We, the Meta-Knights, demand your immediate surrender!”
…oh. That wasn’t relaxing.
Panicked murmurs spread throughout the auditorium, all focused on the big screen in front of them. Rather than the expected movie, they were seeing a transmission from the mysterious Meta Knight himself, accompanied by his cohorts. They looked pretty scary too - one of them literally had a skull for a face, one was twirling a trident like it was nothing, and even the lone Waddle Dee there was…
Oh. Oh no. That couldn’t be him, could it?
“We have gathered forces from across Dream Land,” continued the swordsman, “and we are armed with the greatest battleship this world has ever seen. Our goals are ultimately to serve as protection from even greater outside threats, but we must discipli-”
“Now you hold it right there!” Dedede himself sounded angrier than Barry was used to seeing him, maybe even angrier than the karaoke incident from last Fireside. “Protecting Dream Land’s one thing, but thinking you could take down me? That you’d be right to do that?! Not a chance!”
Meta Knight stood stoic. “Dedede, please. The more calmly we resolve this, the better. We do not desire an actual fight… but we also cannot let you throw your ego around and keep Dream Land in this lazy disarray. Surely you’re aware of the dangers that lurk beyo-”
“Just how little do you think of me? Of everyone?” The king had no qualms about interrupting Meta Knight, though his grip on his hammer seemed a little shaky. “We can handle invaders just fine! Just look back at that Nightmare thing! You could’ve taken him out yourself, but even then, Kirby got him just fine! I even helped!”
“And you fired me for making sure he even pulled through!” That wasn’t Meta, but instead the sailor-hatted Waddle Dee behind him. “You could’ve just told him what was going on then, but noooo! You were too caught up in proving you could beat him! How’s anyone supposed to trust you to put anyone before yourself?”
“Sonny!”
The Sailor Dee glared through the screen at his Bandana Dee brother. “...Barry. Still here, huh.”
“Sonny, you can’t do this! I know you’re mad at Dedede, and… yeah, that was bad, but he regrets that! He would’ve invited you back if we knew where you were!”
“Please,” Sonny Day scoffed. “If anything, this helped me realize how bad he’s really been. The rest of you wanted to keep working on the inside to chaaange him… well, it’s never gonna work! And I was sick of waiting for it to work long ago!”
“I’m telling you, it’s already working!” Barry pleaded. “King Dedede’s been getting more generous and less impulsive this whole time!”
“Okay, okay, everyone, calm down!” declared Dedede, holding his hammer even tighter. “We can work this out! Even if we’d totally win a fight! I just… we’re not risking everyone here for you! But we’d win!”
“...just, uh, you’re getting him worked up. Great King, please take some deep breaths…”
Notes:
Little ol’ Dedede, a bad king? Surely Meta’s jestin’.
Turns out I accidentally set the in-universe date of this arc to be one day before Keeby’s birthday! Funny the things you end up with after slapping together a fictional calendar with specific dates. And the main section that prompted me to find that ended up getting cut way down anyway.
There’s a weird balance to handle between “Meta Knight’s desired takeover is bad” and “Dedede hasn’t been a great ruler”.
Chapter 10: KDLA #285: Trees Unite - Boss 6: Twin Woods
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Kirby wasn’t exactly expecting to see this particular tree today, but in hindsight it seemed almost obvious. He did seem to come up nearly every adventure.
“...Oh.” Whispy Woods heaved a sigh, his eyes clearly tired. “It’s you again.”
“Heeey Whispy… uh, we’re sort of in a hurry, have you seen a Warpstar around here?”
“It’s always like that, isn’t it?” The tree shook his… head? Trunk? “At the very least, for once you don’t have an excuse to fight me.”
“Hey! I’m sorry I had to do that, but you were possessed by Dark Matter two of those times!”
“And what about you? You certainly weren’t in your right mind the time before that, hopped up on what I can only imagine was pure sugar?”
Thankfully, Paula stepped in before Kirby could give a retort. “Whispy Woods, we’re sorry to intrude, but time is legitimately of the essence. Meta Knight is out to conquer Dream Land, possibly by force, and we need to catch up to him before any damage can be done.”
Whispy nodded slowly. “I understand… but tell me, Paula. Are you certain we can’t trust Meta Knight’s decisions here?”
“...Wait, you remembered my-”
“Ooh, I got an answer for this!” Kirby interrupted. “He’s actually the one that gave me that hyper lollipop! The one that gave me the sugar rush you talked about! He just, like, chucked it in my mouth instead of answering a simple question of who he even was!”
“...That… hm. That is fair.” Whispy Woods seemed to mull over this for several seconds, before continuing. “...Good news is, I’ll allow you to take the Warpstar I have. Bad news, you may have to wrestle it away from the twins first.”
“The tw-”
Before Kirby could continue, Whispy pulled some roots away, revealing a hole the puffball didn’t even know he was standing on. And down he fell.
“Kirby!” shouted Paula. “Oh, I should help him spe-”
“Give him a chance to do this on his own. I have something important to tell you first, Paula.”
After bonking on his face again, Kirby looked up to see… Whispy Woods again! And again! Two trees sitting below the main figure’s roots, and neither seemed particularly pleased with their pink intruder.
The twins went on the attack immediately, blowing puffs of air back and forth as Kirby ducked out of the way. Normally, he’d be fairly confident in defeating these two quickly… but without an ability, he was left at the mercy of them actually dropping apples. He briefly considered jumping up into their foliage and digging around, but then he spotted a couple patches of rustling leaves. Glad to see this obvious sign of fruit ready to rain down, Kirby opened his mouth and inhaled-
“...mmMMMph?! Blaagh!”
Kirby immediately spat out the offending taste - that wasn’t an apple, that was a Capiller! The grossest kind of worm imaginable! Even just having it in his mouth for that instant felt like it had hurt him… and there were more raining down! The pink puff ran between worms in a panic, kicking the occasional one at Twin Woods. Unfortunately, they seemed unfazed, huffing and shooting another barrage of air puffs back and forth.
Just when Kirby expected another rain of creepy-crawlies, he instead found himself having to dodge a chunk of wood! Somehow, one of the Twins had flung an entire horizontal slice of itself at the puffball, zipping perfectly through the air before being caught by the other Twin. This one responded by sending a different slice of itself through the air, sailing over Kirby’s head.
Big flashbacks to that first time in Dark Castle, huh. Kirby tried to focus extra hard on the fight to block those out, and by concentrating that much, he realized an opportunity.
Quickly digging into the foliage covering the nearby ground, he managed to snatch up one of the Capillers from earlier - the same one he’d spit out earlier, in fact! Gross, but that grossness was exactly what he was counting on. Looking back up, he saw that the second slice had already started embedding itself back into one of the trunks, but a third slice came out soon after, giving Kirby the perfect chance. He tossed the worm into the space in that Twin’s trunk, and as the wood slice flew in and sealed back up…
“...Uoooah?! Noooooo!” The one Twin Wood grimaced and shook around wildly, shaking more Capillers out from the branches. The other Twin gasped in shock, breathing in to send another torrent of gusts Kirby’s way, but the puffball took the chance to kick a couple more Capillers into its mouth, sending it into the same sort of fit.
“Aaaahh!” “Grooooss!” “Get them oooout!” “How cooooould yoooou!”
Kirby was kind of surprised these trees even bothered to speak up. “Well, you were kinda doing that to me! Does that mean we can agree to stop?”
“Sure, whatever!” huffed one of the Twin Woods, while the other spat a Warpstar that bonked Kirby in the back. “Just get out of here!”
“Fine, fine, I’ll…” And suddenly, another opportunity occured to Kirby. “...I’ll leaf you alone~”
Never said this one was a good opportunity.
And so Kirby quickly flew out of there, propelled by the gusts generated from the sheer force of Twin Woods booing, snagging Paula on his way up and flying back toward their target.
Notes:
“I give you… a double-scale image!” “That’s good because you wasted several weeks not working on KDLA at all.” “Crap.”
Um. This was kind of late. The first week was understandable, since my birthday was that week and I was busy playing one of my gifts, this game you’ve probably never heard of called Shovel Knight. And then I got sick with covid the second week and that was exhausting.
The other weeks? Purely procrastination and low motivation. It didn’t help that I never had much of a plan for what would actually happen in the Twin Woods fight before starting to write. They’re kind of disconnected from the whole Meta Knight plot, if you think about it.
Chapter 11: KDLA #286: Catching Up Midflight
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Sir! They’re back on our tail!”
“Should we cut the broadcast? We need to focus on cutting Kirby off!”
“...Let Sonny continue. He seems impassioned… besides, the task should be simple. The main cannon is ready, correct?”
Paula groaned, hearing the knight say that through her receiver. “Already? We’ll need to be incredibly precise if we already need to dodge the ship’s weapons!”
“Uhhhhh, kinda late for that!” responded Kirby, desperately trying to keep the Warpstar steady as they began closing in on the Halberd. “I’m still not, like, great at driving!”
“Then give me control!”
“Hard to do when we’re already-”
Before the two puffballs could properly argue, a laser blast grazed right past them! It narrowly missed Kirby and Paula, but it just barely fried one of the Warpstar’s points, screwing with its control and sending the two hurtling into the sky…
“We hit them!” Mace Knight confirmed. “They’re sailing toward… aaand I just lost visual. They’ve passed through cloud cover.”
Vul was quick to start loudly cheering. “Haha! I knew that Combo Cannon was the trick to fending off that pink punk!”
“Er, technically it’s called Main Cannon #2…”
“C’mon, that’s a lame name. Give it some flavor, missy!” The bird chuckled, looking out into the distance. “Heheh… Kirby’s gotta be blown over to, what, Candy Mountain now? He’ll never catch up!”
“I wonder…” mused Meta Knight, facing away from everyone else.
“And you! Show some jubilation, dangnabbit! We’ve taken care of the kid you were so concerned about! And even that tagalong he had with him!”
The swordsman didn’t respond for several seconds, looking out at the ship’s deck. “You fail to understand… Kirby has recovered from much steeper odds. I did tell you about how he stopped Nightmare, correct?”
“Oh yeah, didn’t their battle blow a hole in the moon?” interjected Mace Knight.
Vul scoffed. “Please. I’m still not convinced that crescent shape isn’t just a phase… besides, it’s not like we couldn’t do that! Fire up the Combo Cannon again, just aim it a lot higher, and we’ll show the world the strength of our super laser pow-”
And then the bird captain found himself conked on the head by the blunt end of a polearm, courtesy of the ever-silent Javelin Knight.
Mace Knight gave a quick nod to her compatriot, then turned to Meta. “Point is,” she assured him, “they’re out of our way for at least a while. That should count for something.”
“Can we truly count ourselves safe? For all we know, Kirby and his friend could find exactly what they need wherever they land… or worse, they may have planted something in their brief time here.” Meta Knight drew his sword, pointing it out dramatically. “And I will not rest until we’ve fully secured power.”
“What could they have even done…?”
And just past the door, a forgotten butterfly flew quickly away from the porthole window, determined to make the most of their time here.
Notes:
Vul really wants to come and make an announcement.
Surprise, I actually didn’t forget Morpho the last few chapters. :)
Chapter 12: KDLA #287: Isle of Appetite
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Hey. You. You’re finally awake.”
Kirby grumbled, opening his eyes to find himself face-to-face with dirt. Where had he landed - and wait, who was that voice coming from?
“You were trying to cross into our territory, right? Flew straight into our ambush… though it seems like you’ve got bigger problems on your hands.”
“Ha- hang on, hang on,” Kirby mumbled, turning around and sitting up. “Where… where are we? Something about your terri…” He trailed off, taking a good look at the being standing before him. Or, rather, floating.
For some reason, he felt like he should recognize this person who looked like a humanoid in a flower costume, but he couldn’t recall anything specific.
It was easy to recognize how cross they were, though. “Yes, our territory. I’d be mad at you for not realizing you’ve ended up in Floralia, but if your king can’t even recognize when he’s crossed that line, I can hardly blame you. He should consider himself lucky that you drove him away before we did.”
“...what are you even-”
“But now you Dream Landers are going too far!” they interrupted, floating uncomfortably close to the puffball. “You think we weren’t gonna notice that giant airship? Adorned with the Knight’s face? Huh?”
“Hey!” Kirby shouted back. “I’m not with that guy! We were trying to figure out how to stop him! I don’t know what your beef is with us, but we’ll be outta wherever this place is as soon as we have a way to catch up!” He puffed out his cheeks, glaring at the flower person.
“...Hmph. Well, you can fly, right? Or whatever else you lower-world-hero-types do to get aroun-”
Donk. “Alright, Bluebonnet, that’s enough.” This was a different voice, accompanied by a different flower person who had just bonked their fellow on the head with an ear of corn. Their hair… petals were red and spiky, contrasting with the first one’s blue rounded petals. “The kid’s right - we need to help out, and quickly. Before that Knight takes his battleship to Floralia.”
Kirby blinked, tilting his head. “...uh… you mean Planet Floria? Or…” He was pretty sure he’d heard the name before, but he had assumed at the time Benny was misspeaking… was there actually a place called…
Red-petals shook their head. “The hidden country of the sky? Consisting of several islands? Wow, they must not teach you guys a lot down there… or maybe we’re too hidden.”
“C’mon, Pepper,” noted Bluebonnet. “It’s not that hidden if he managed to find it before, directions or not.”
“...I still don’t know where-”
Kirby was interrupted by a loud SCRAW, and he recognized that cry even before he turned to look. It was the great bird he had once encountered, Dyna Blade, helpfully carrying Paula on her head. And… wait, if Dyna Blade were here, that meant…
Oh. An expanse of hills and valleys, with some very familiar pathways carving across the ground and through old-looking structures, all with abundant amounts of food growing everywhere… this was the floating island he had raced Dedede on! The one that the king had thoughtlessly kicked Dyna Blade out of, years ago… and that was apparently part of this “Floralia” the whole time?
…now he wanted beef.
“Welcome back to Buffet Bluffs, I suppose,” confirmed Pepper, tossing the corn ear up to the great bird. “Like Blue said, you managed to get your King Dedede out of here once, before we were able to take him to task for the annexation he didn’t realize he was doing. Now we need you to keep your Metal Knight from doing the same, but on purpose.”
“Uh. Well.” Kirby took a moment to collect himself, after realizing how this all fit together. “I was going to ask for a Warpstar, but… if we’re going to storm that ship, I don’t think there’s a better way than with her help.” He looked up into the giant bird’s eyes, taking a deep breath. “Dyna Blade… um, in order to protect, to defend… um. Please help us. Fly us to Meta Knight’s ship.”
Dyna Blade nodded. “Ti devo un grande debito, ragazzo rosa,” her voice boomed. “Voliamo.”
“...ah, right, I forgot you spoke Bird.”
“No, that’s Italian,” Bluebonnet insisted. “I guess the debt she owes you is for freeing her feeding ground from the greedy king? You’re lucky indeed to have such favor.”
Kirby was tempted to point out he had sort of beaten up Dyna Blade right before that, but… not the time. He just nodded, hopping and puffing onto the bird’s back, giving a quick high-five to a very confused Paula, and held on as their ride took off.
The two flower folks waved bye, but then Bluebonnet realized something. “Oh, maybe we didn’t need to send Petunia down to scout things out, then…”
“Xe’ll be fine,” Pepper reassured. “I’m just concerned if this guy and his friend can actually stop the Knight, though, given the stories… should we call in reinforcements?”
“You mean those two? I mean… I guess it couldn’t hurt?”
Notes:
The hatchlings are fine, don’t worry. Dyna Blade has them in a great daycare program.
So, funny story. I had already been planning for a few years that the People of the Sky would show up at the same time that Dyna Blade did (for reasons that will be more clear soon). I had also, waaaay back during the bird’s first appearance, stated that the place she usually gets food from - the site of Gourmet Race - was a floating island, in a page that just happened to come out the same day as Triple Deluxe’s JP release.
Somehow, I did not connect the dots that I had myself set up until like three months ago.
So now the Gourmet Race island is part of Floralia in KDLA canon! Meaning that Dedede was really asking for political trouble when he kicked Dyna Blade out to take it for himself. So many weird implications I’ve had to sort through after realizing the connection.
Also, KDLA is fourteen years old now! Seriously. This isn’t quite the celebration I was planning, but… you know, we’ll get there. I should have something set up within the next couple weeks. Things have just been distracting between work and family trips and new/old games and upcoming events.
Chapter 13: KDLA #288: A Bird and Halberd Dogfight
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“...that is certainly a troubling sign.”
“Kind of understating, don’t you think?!” yelled Axe Knight, waving his free hand in exasperation. “I mean… I’m sorry for losing composure here, but the giant metal bird flying after us is kind of a concern!”
Vul grumbled. “What’s that overgrown pest doing up here anyway? And why haven’t you scallywags shot her down the moment you laid eyes on her?”
“Scallywags? You’re not exactly-”
“Shut your trap, skullface! I’m the captain here, I can say what I want!”
Meta Knight let out a sigh, placing a hand on his blade’s hilt. “I suppose I was foolish to think we could fly this far up without alerting someone… be ready for a fight, everyone. We can’t assume Dyna Blade will be alone here.”
The great bird herself narrowly dodged a laser shot from the Halberd’s cannon, Kirby and Paula getting lightly singed on top of their heads.
“Ah, careful!” shouted Paula. “You’re not alone right now, remember! Oh, that’s going to mess with the laser helm…”
“Come on, Paula! She’s doing the best she can!” pointed out Kirby. He was trying to spot Meta Knight on the deck and give him a stern glare, but it would have been hard to see him even without all the wind blowing in his eyes making it hard to really focus.
“Can’t she spit balls of fire at the airship?” the red puffball mused. “Or… something like that?”
“I’m not sure fire is really going to do much! Heck, if Bounder helped build this thing, it’s probably got the latest in flame protection! Like with that part of Flotzo’s old ship!”
“...what?”
Before Kirby could elaborate, Dyna Blade spun to the side, avoiding a volley of smaller shots but very nearly flinging her passengers off. By now she had caught up to the Halberd, flying directly alongside it and closing the distance…
Unfortunately, this put her close enough that the Combo Cannon could get in a direct laser shot without giving her a chance to dodge.
“Ah! Dyna Blade, no!” cried Kirby. He stared at the enemy ship looming so close, yet just far enough away that he couldn’t safely fly to it at this speed. And now they were falling behind, the great bird struggling to keep up her flight after that blow to the face.
“No no no no no… Kirby, do something!”
“I don’t know what!” He crawled up to the back of the bird’s head next to Paula, clinging desperately to it. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think to protect Dyna Blade, and now-”
“Non preoccuparti di proteggermi,” boomed the metal bird’s voice, tilting her head back. “Vendicami e basta.”
And with that, Dyna Blade thrust herself toward the ship, stretching her neck out just for you and slamming her head into the side of the Halberd’s hull, sending both puffballs tumbling into the ship. With both her passengers “safely” on board, she crowed softly and fell back, allowing herself to drift down to the ocean and out of this battle.
“Is… is she going to be okay?”
“If she was fine after I hit her with Crash, she’ll be fine after this,” Kirby assured his friend. “Let’s just make sure her getting us in here was worth it!”
Notes:
At this point, putting up a new chapter at all is the real April Fool’s joke.
I should probably just stop talking about the huge schedule gaps, since that seems to make more happen. Definitely weird to have had two Kirby games since last time, though, even if neither are new mainline entries. (Also they really haven’t changed my plans thaaaat much. I only need to adjust a couple minor details.)
I think part of what made me procrastinate on this for so long was the thought of the assets I needed for this. I hadn’t made any art for Vul before this, and I needed to make a new pose for the barely-visible Combo Cannon, but the real issue was Dyna Blade. She’s made of tons of vectors, and while I was able to reuse them from an old splash panel last time, this required whole new angles to finagle.
Chapter 14: KDLA #289: Tensions at Their Height
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“Look, do you want a song and dance?! I’m sorry! I was wrong back then, okay?!”
“I don’t want your stupid apologies!” shouted Sonny, eyes locked with Dedede’s through the screen. “Don’t be sorry, be better! Oh wait, you can’t!”
“Sonny, please!”
“Stay out of this, Barry! This guy doesn’t deserve a single bit of the endless adoration you pile on him! Do you have any idea how much damage he’s done?!”
The bandana Dee hopped up on top of his king, glaring back at the screen. “You keep acting like I’m totally ignoring everything, but you’re just out here acting like he’s the Hydra itself!”
“The guy constantly puffs himself up like the most important person on the planet! He surrounds himself with yes-men like Kibble, he kicks out anyone who doesn’t bow to his every word, and he goes around snatching food from anyone just trying to get by!”
“Wait, wait wait wait!” Keeby leapt up in front of the big screen, trying to stand out among the Dees nearby. “He doesn’t even do that one! Sure, Dedede took our New Year’s feast one time, but that was… uh… a buncha years ago! And he hasn’t done anything since! I think!”
The sailor Dee rolled his eyes. “Really gonna forgive him for robbing you like that? Never thought the big hero’s brother would be as much of a doormat as my own sib-”
“Hey!! Don’t you call me that! Or anyone that! You sound like a huge bully, and I’ve already had way too much of that for a lifetime!” Keeby was trying his best to look and sound more furious than he ever had before… slightly undercut by the face that he was standing awkwardly on a theater seat. And that he didn’t really know how to look all that mean.
“...Touchy, huh,” Sonny pondered. “Well, even if we forgave all Dedede’s mean behavior - and that chance is fatter than his belt, lemme tell you…”
“Okay, that one’s definitely uncalled for!”
“...the guy is legit dangerous to leave in charge! Need I remind you about the Nightmare demon again?”
“Ha! Look at the guy in the battleship, talking about posing a danger,” sniped Dedede. “I told ya already, Meta coulda handled that all easily! And Kirby did handle!” The king pointed his hammer right at the screen. “Besides, that’s the only example you even have!”
“Reeeally now.” Sonny stepped closer, seemingly picking up the camera and nearly pressing his face against it. “No other incidents you’re… masking?”
Dedede froze up instantly.
Sonny would have smirked if he had a mouth. “Yeah, yeah, it was ages ago, before my time. But even if you don’t remember, our leader certainly does.”
For several seconds, Dedede was silent, surrounded by the murmurs of the Dees around him. Only once the hammer dropped from his hand and banged onto the floor did he snarl up at the screen. “He really… that son of a-”
Suddenly, a voice rang out from the Halberd side. “Ha! Dyna Blade has been shot down! They said it couldn’t be done!”
“Don’t celebrate just yet, Macie! She still managed to create a hull breach! Those punks gotta have snuck in through there!”
“Hey! You lubber, with the white hat!” Vul stepped in abruptly, grabbing one of Sonny’s hands. “I want you after that Kirby!”
And as nearly everyone watched Sonny get flung further into the Halberd and the camera get turned off, only Keeby and Sonny turned to a clearly shaken Dedede.
“...Great… great king, pull it together! This isn’t-”
“Dyna Blade,” Dedede murmured, repeating that name. “Dyna… I took food from her, too. You kids both remember, right?”
“That… that floating island where you and Kirby had that Gourmet Race?” Keeby tilted his head, trying to remember. “That was… huh, for some reason I was thinking that was different from the time we met Dyna Blade? And now I guess Meta Knight’s hurt her too, from the sound of it… glad she’s a tough feather.”
Barry was confused. “A tough feather? You mean like… a tough cookie?”
“Wait, crap, right, that was a floating island!” Dedede looked nearly panicked all of a sudden. “That couldn’t have been Flo… no no no! Aaaaaugh, nooooo…”
“Gr-great king?! What on Pop Star are you talking about?!”
FLOP
“Great King!!”
“Oh, stop calling me that,” grumbled the penguin now laying on his belly. “I don’t think ‘great’ kings cause international incidents so casually! Stars above, maybe they’re right…”
“What?! No way! You can’t surrender to those guys,” pleaded Keeby. “They can’t be up to any good if Kirby’s going against them!”
“...okay, first off? He’s been tricked into releasing Nightmare and fighting Dyna Blade before, both ‘cause of me.”
“...but those were both causing real damage…”
“But more importantly, that doesn't mean surrendering to them.” The king slowly stood up, picking up his hammer once again. “I’ve done more damage as king than any of us wanna face… but like heck I’m gonna let Meta Knight conquer anyone.”
Notes:
The real birds of a (tough) feather are Vul and Dedede, for wanting to get that there Kirby.
I know we like to think of Dedede as a sometimes-grumpy hero these days, but he did very much used to cause problems thanks to his greed and shortsightedness. And in KDLA, those problems are both more numerous and more recent.
...Oh yeah, I changed Dedede's design from the last time he showed up in KDLA. It's closer to his design in Forgotten Land and RtDLDX, and honestly it's an all-around improvement.
Chapter 15: KDLA #290: Swords and Sleight
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
“So, uh, hey, what’s the plan now? Same as before?”
Paula took a few moments to respond, looking up through the unguarded elevator shaft in front of them. “At this point, the thrusters are going full blast - it’ll be harder to reach them safely!”
“Okay, but what if, um…” Kirby was scrambling for ideas. “...if I find someone to give me Fire ability, maaaaybe that’ll give me some degree of heat resistance? I genuinely have no idea… actually, maybe Ice would be better for that. I dunno!”
“I think I’ve got something else in mind, actually!” responded Paula. She took hold of a nearby pipe in the wall, hanging on to it as she dangled into the shaft.
“Hey, hang on, that’s super dangerous!”
“I am hanging on, silly,” she joked. “Okay, so there’s this big power cable in the wall here… I can scan which way the current’s going with my helm, and this way I can trace it back to this ship’s power source! Loooooks like it’s coming from down-”
Kirby, having been paying more attention to the shaft above Paula, gasped loudly. “Watch out!” he yelped, grabbing his friend and pulling her away shortly before an elevator lift descended into that very spot. “...See? Dangerous!”
Of course, that wasn’t the end of their elevator problem. The lift itself was full of figures in dark purple cloaks with maroon ponytail-thingies (recognizable as Biosparks), all surrounding a larger pink guy in a white karate gi (less immediately recognizable). The ninjas wasted no time in swooping forth and encircling the puffballs, their escort stepping forth with his hands behind his back.
“Hmph. Well done on making it this far,” he spoke. “I’m afraid, however, that your little counter-rebellion ends here…”
The karate guy suddenly thrust his hand upward, showing off a katana blade. “Under the ancient generation-spanning blade of Jukid!”
Kirby wasn’t super impressed. “Wait, ‘generation-spanning’? We sold you that sword, like, two years ago! What, did you fall into the time caves immediately after that?”
“You dare make such an accusation?!” Jukid scoffed. “This is no mere resellable blade… this katana represents the finest metal-folding techniques of the ancient times, melded seamlessly with great and powerful enchantments long lost to time! I hold not just a cool weapon, but a magic sword that can cut down any foooolish puffballs who step forth to oppose me!”
Paula kept her eyes focused on that blade. “That’s… quite a series of claims. If your sword is so powerful, why is it you’re working as a lackey of Meta Knight’s? Maybe you could explain that?”
“Ha! Soon, I shall stand right alongside him and his own magic sword! But before that, I must strike the final blow on you and ensure a future where his order is law!” Jukid puffed out his chest as he boasted, before looking back at Paula and winding up for an overhead slash. “Now, die!”
“Uh, hang on, I don’t know if Meta Knight would actually want us de- yeep!” In the instant she saw that blade bearing down toward her, Paula panicked and ducked under her laser helm.
A move which turned out to be wise - the metal of her headpiece blocked the swing entirely, barely leaving a dent in the helm. The katana itself, meanwhile, shook from the impact for a few moments… before shattering into a thousand pieces.
“...what.”
Paula blinked. “...okay, maybe we overcharged you for that thing.”
“...you monster!,” Jukid screamed, throwing the handle remaining at the floor. “You destroyed my sword like it was nothing! I paid nearly a hundred thousand deden for that! You… you must pay! You must pay dearly for this act of unspeakable ev-”
And then Jukid fell right over onto his face. Kirby hopped onto his back right after, sporting a purple hat with a silver star emblem and his own (intact) katana. He quickly pulled out a small kunai from the leftover midboss’s back.
“...wait, Kirby? When did you…” Paula glanced around, only now realizing that most of the Biosparks around her were KO’d, and at least one was missing. Presumably inhaled during Jukid’s monologue.
“We should get moving,” Kirby said. He hopped toward the empty lift, then leapt onto the wall above it. “You follow that power line down, I’ll head up and try to take out the wings or something. We’ve got the element of stealth for once, let’s try and not get caught.”
Morpho was doing the best job at not being caught.
They had found this new Heavy Lobster chassis several minutes ago, and had conveniently found that the robot either couldn’t see or didn’t care about a butterfly perched between its eyes, even as it began patrolling through the ship under Vul’s orders. Now they just had to find the perfect time to make their move…
Notes:
no I’m not bothering with drawing Jukid’s fingers you can’t make me
When I put Jukid in the GCO arc of KDLA, even when I showed him walking off with the katana, I didn’t remember that he was in Revenge of Meta Knight at all. Someone in the comments had to remind me that he did have another canon appearance between then and Milky Way Wishes… and so I put together a silly scenario for him to “shine”. Poor guy’s probably the most forgettable midboss of the game, he never even got any other appearances.
…also, hey, birthday! I’m 30 now… man. Never thought I’d be doing this silly thing this long into the future.
Chapter 16: KDLA #291: Identity Not Guessed Right
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
At first, this lone flower person was down here to search for any solution to the obvious airship threat. Then, priorities shifted when the great bird Dyna Blade came crashing into the trees just nearby.
So imagine xer excitement when xe spotted a pink puffball nearby, carrying an oversized orange. Surely that had to be the mysterious hero of the lower world! They’d surely be a big help!
“Heyyyy hey hey there!” the pink-petaled scout called out. “You’re just who I was looking for! We need help, and I gotta know! I gotta, I gotta know if we can count on you for that!”
The puffball seemed confused at first, then spent another moment thinking. “Okay, uh… I need some context here?,” he finally responded. “To best help, obviously. Let’s start with, who are you anyways?”
“Oh, yes yes yes! I’m Petunia!” The flower person did a little twirl and sparkle to show off. “I’m one of the People of the Sky, from the floating islands of Floralia! And, well, between the Knight clearly gearing up for war and now our great guardian fallen… please, please, please tell me you’re not in league with that battleship!”
The pink puff looked up through the trees. “Oh, that’s what that was! Sounds like it’s that masked weirdo doing his own thing again… well, don’t worry, I’m nowhere near that guy’s side.”
“Sweet, sweet, sweet! Okay, I promise I’ll help in whatever way I can! But, uh, I should probably help the great Dyna Blade recover first. It looks like she might’ve already had a tussle with the ship?”
“...Okay? So, uh, what do I-”
Petunia pointed out the giant fruit the puffball was carrying. “Food’s the most important part! And a big big big orange like that, it’s perfect! Just lemme peel it for her and-”
“Hey, hang on!,” the pink puff blurted, pulling the citrus away. “That’s for… uh, it’s for eating. Definitely not for pranking a dumb*** that somehow got a clown ball recently.”
“Hey, hey, hey! Language! And also, pleeeease?”
“Uh, sorry?? Geez, he picked up that same phrase too,” he muttered. With a groan, the definitely-extremely-heroic puffball reluctantly brought the orange over to the collapsed Dyna Blade, using the tip of her beak to peel it before popping the fruit in her mouth.
“...mmm… grazie… starò bene,” the great bird murmured.
Petunia sighed in relief. “Good good, good! Any more of those fruits around?”
“...No?? I was super lucky to have found the one.” The pink puff looked remarkably un-jolly - guess he really was upset at not having been able to eat the orange. Or whatever his plan was.
“Alright, that’s fine, that’s fine. That’s fine. We’ll just let her rest… and I’m bringing you up home to get a weapon.”
“...wow, really?”
“Of course!,” Petunia declared. Xe clapped xer hands together and spread them out, magically manifesting an odd-looking Warpstar in front of the duo. “The Knight absolutely needs a legendary weapon to be taken down, and the hero of the lower world is just the person to wield one!”
“...uh…”
“So come on!” Petunia pulled the pink puff onto that Warpstar, taking off into the sky with him. “Next stop, Floralia! Let’s go go go!”
…And in that moment, Batamon knew he was probably getting in too deep.
Notes:
At least Batamon can be thankful that Petunia didn’t notice that the narration never referred to him as Kirby.
I was trying to get this done for Kirby’s 31st anniversary (April 27), but I wasn’t feeling great at the beginning of the week and the script didn’t really come together as quickly as I wanted. It’s actually gone a slightly different direction than I was thinking when I planned out this arc - one which hopefully should suit my original goal just a little more smoothly.
Chapter 17: KDLA #292: Full Cannonical Might - Boss 7: Combo Cannon
Chapter Text
The Ninja Ability bestows many useful traits. The stealth to sneak undetected past most guards. The finesse to take out those few more attentive guards, quickly and silently. The steadiness to cling to walls, the swiftness to hop between them with ease, the dexterity to pull out a kunai or fan at a moment’s notice. The fortitude and sharpness of those weapons, most certainly. And the style of that hat to top it all off.
It doesn’t provide an inherent sense of direction.
Kirby’s route through the ship was efficient, but mostly aimless. He wasn’t sure where the wings were actually connected, and it felt like he was getting turned around every time he slid through a duct or took a detour around some troops. The best he could hope for was making it to the deck up top and regaining his bearings. Hopefully without getting into any actual predicament.
Of course, when he finally did poke his head up through a hatch atop the Halberd, Kirby found himself face-to-face with a pretty big predicament - that giant cannon that had shot his ride down twice today, pointed directly above him. This was one of the most dangerous things on the ship… but maybe, just maybe, he could damage it sneakily…
Unfortunately, as soon as Kirby fully exited the hatch, it snapped shut beneath him, and a speaker crackled to life. “Ha! There you are, you little sneak!” came the distinctly annoyed voice of Captain Vul. “You thought you could oh-so-heroically get a dirty little hit in on one of our most important weapons? Sorry, but I’ve been watching the cams up here like a hawk!”
“...Dang, if I knew you were gonna make a bird pun, I’d have tried to find Wing,” the puffball quipped. “Guess I’ll have to… wing it?”
“Enough jokes! And enough sneaking - if you’re truly an oh-so-noble hero, you’ll face down our Combo Cannon fairly!,” declared the decidedly-not-physically-present captain. “Hahahaha! Gahaha! …Hm.”
Kirby immediately tried to make his way around the cannon’s left side, but his path was cut off by the first in a volley of giant cannonballs. As the puffball scrambled away from that initial onslaught, he tossed a few kunai at that huge muzzle, but the blades kept bouncing off with no visible damage. He kept at it regardless, until realizing that he was getting distracted from the other main threat.
The bottom barrel fired an unfortunately-familiar laser across the deck, narrowly missing its target. It wasted no time in charging up another round, keeping its aim as dead on Kirby as possible.
That’s when Kirby realized the cannonballs had briefly stopped coming. The top cannon section had rotated all the way back, presumably to reload. Perfect time to strike, he thought, as he leapt up to strike the cannon itself… before getting blown back by a bomb from somewhere. (If he had looked around, he might have spotted a Poppy Bro or two flanking the makeshift arena.)
“Is that all ya got?,” demanded Vul’s voice, barely audible over another laser shot that Kirby narrowly avoided due to the blast. “I knew to expect disappointment, but come on!”
“...Oh noooo, I made a mistake!” Kirby rolled his eyes. “How dare I not immediately destroy your super-powerful cannon thing. Or are you disappointed I don’t have more ninja puns?”
There was a pause before any response. “...Uggggh. Seriously? If you want to sabotage your own stealth, by all means, but don’t stoop to the lowest form of humor!”
“It’s one of my whole things! Helps keep the flow going during fights! Especially in a sprite comic, do you know how hard it is to keep the action engaging all on its own?”
“Please! The most humorous thing here is how much I’m gonna clobber you like that overgrown pomp of a bird never could!”
Kirby just smirked. “At least Dedede faces me down himself. Why’re you taunting me like that if you’re not even laying a hand on me yourse-”
And that’s when a metallic hand suddenly grabbed Kirby from behind, yanking him up into the air, in front of the top cannon’s barrel.
“Why get my own hands dirty if this one works just as well?” remarked Vul, his sneer coming across through voice alone. “Now shut up and get blown away for good!” And without even a second to pass, the cannon fired a giant round into Kirby!
…wait, no. That’s just a log with a poorly-done Kirby scribble taped to it.
“...What?! How in blue blazes did he-”
“Haiiiii-yeah!” The real Kirby leapt out of nowhere, brandishing his katana and slicing the huge cannonball in twain! Before even landing, he then tossed a shuriken at the blasted robot hand, grabbing the hunk of junk and flinging it into the cannon’s top barrel to jam it up.
“Wa- what?! How can this be?!”
Without answering, Kirby leapt into the air and performed a dive kick at the cannon’s laser-firing end, bending it out of shape. The muzzle proceeded to spark wildly, eventually coughing up a cloud of smoke… to the slight disappointment of the puffball. “Aw, I thought that would’ve fired down into the ship and done more damage… Ah well. Just need one of the bombs around here to finish this-”
*BOOM*
Kirby was cut off by the cannon exploding point-blank next to him, sending him back several meters and knocking his ability star clear off the deck. Okay, that didn’t go as well as hoped… and then when Kirby reopened his eyes, it suddenly seemed much worse.
Meta Knight now stood atop the wrecked cannon, sword drawn and pointed at our hero. “Hmph. I would rather you have kept a blade… but no matter. You’ve done enough here, Kirby, but now I must end your counter-offensive before anything else can-”
*CLANG*
“What the…” Meta Knight was startled by the sudden attack, having barely blocked it. “How… did you…”
“Oh, I was given a simply perfect opening,” responded the mystery assailant. “But yes, we all noticed you approaching our space.”
“And I, for one, shall not let you disturb our peace.”
…Kirby figured he should get out of here now. No point wasting his time trying to sort past the broken pieces of cannon.
Chapter 18: KDLA #293: A Tired Tire’s Plight
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Paula, for her part, had a much better inherent sense of direction. Plus an entire power cable to follow.
She did note the almost complete lack of guards in her path, though. Sure, she supposed most of them were trying to find and stop Kirby, but it was weird that barely anyone was trying to protect the main power source, right? Where even was everyone? Even tapping into the receiver on her headpiece, no one sounded all that concerned about her presence. Every voice she heard was talking about something else, mostly regarding Kirby:
“Aah! He’s totally wrecked Main Cannon #2!” “Kirby left the cannon in shambles!” “He’s diven into- ah, dived into the ducts!” “Wait, isn’t he fighting Meta Knight? Who is that if it’s not-” “He’s going for the left wing!” “Gasp! You don’t think he would stoop to-”
“Hey, uh, you’re here for the reactor, right?”
Paula was taken aback for a second - in her distraction, she had actually run across someone! A Wheelie with red plating, sitting right in front of her… wait, was that the same one from that old Megaton Punch Tourney? She asked to be sure, “Oh! Um… Tirra, was it?”
“Surprised you remember that. Think that’s when I prodded Kiyosi to actually talk to you. Sounds like it’s been working out, yeah?” Tirra looked up at a nearby wall, filled with windows that showed various other Wheelies laying on treadmills. “I kinda got roped into what I thought was a normal energy maintenance gig.”
“...You, um, you know Kirby and I are trying to stop this ship, right?”
“Yeah, I’m supposed to try and stop you,” the Wheelie responded, rolling her eyes. “But I mean, we’ve been working overtime since this morning - only reason we’re getting to rest now is ‘cause that vulture isn’t around to watch us. So clearly I don’t have the energy to keep an intruder out.”
Paula nodded. “Alright, I get what you’re saying… nothing you can do if I sneak in and shut that thing down, right?”
“If you even can.” Tirra turned around, rolling up to the doorway just ahead. “That reactor’s got a bunch of self-defense systems and a boatload of built-up energy to power them and the ship. By all accounts, it’s totally invincible.”
“...I assume there’s a ‘but’ to come?”
“Who can say? I’m pretty sure the only thing more powerful than that thing’s armoring is its offensive power. Like, its laser can pierce through aaanything.”
Paula smirked. “I dunno, the laser power I’ve got on hand is fairly potent.”
“I’m just saying, Vul flipped out one time that Dee was wondering about reflected lasers. Said he was jinxing it… purely a rumor, of course. Would be terrible info to fall into an enemy’s hands, though.” Tirra winked.
The red puffball nodded, stepping into the next room. As she surveyed the machine in front of her, she had to ask, “So what… is that thing?”
“No clue,” the Wheelie admitted. “Vul refused to say anything about where he got that crystal in the center… which, you know. Probably makes it vitally important. So, hey, careful.”
“Oh, I’ll care for this alright.”
Notes:
Unfortunately, Paula could only see one of Tirra’s eyes at a time, so the wink didn’t really come across that well.
Yeah, this seems like a great time to put something up. There could not possibly be any major media releases happening today in particular.
Okay but yeah, writing for this one proved tricky at first, which gave way to procrastination later on. Always a dangerous cycle.
Chapter 19: KDLA #294: Crustaceous Might - Boss 8: Heavy Lobster
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Kirby ran through the ship, hopping and sliding and kicking to get past anyone in his way. Subtlety and stealth were long out of the question, and he had no idea how long that… whoever it was would keep Meta Knight distracted. He really didn’t have any idea where he was going, so he figured he’d just keep running around until he found something impor-
*CLANK* *CLANK*
Okay, maybe a little stealth was still called for, Kirby thought. Those big metallic footsteps sure sounded like that mech that had distracted him and Paula during takeoff, and he didn’t want to have to find out how much time another one would waste. He wished he could listen in on whether the Halberd crew was tracking his position, but… well, he’d only been able to do that before with Paula or Morpho right next to him. Where even was Morpho? Come to think of it, when did they lose track of that butterfly? If it turned out they’d been separated on the floating island or something…
Oh, but he couldn’t think about that now. Kirby had just rounded a corner without thinking, and while there wasn’t a big robot guard there to see him, there was a more pufball-shaped guard.
“You!” the sailor-hatted Dee shouted. “Every time, you ruin everything!”
“Oh, uh…” It took a moment for Kirby to think, until he noticed the parasol hanging on the Dee’s back. “Sonny Day, right? You’re the guy who gave me that Parasol to beat Dedede that one time?”
“Yeah, and it cost me my job! But eeeeveryone else stuck with him, so I was on my own until Sir Meta Knight picked me up!”
“...That’s what this is about? Dude, I’m pretty sure Dedede would give you-”
Sonny ran up to get directly in Kirby’s face. “It’s not about that, you idiot! A capricious jerk like him should never have been in charge of anything! Ever!”
……
“...See? You’ve got no defense for him!”
“I mean… better than a guy who’s secretive to a fault!,” Kirby retorted. “Meta Knight never lets anyone know what’s going on, keeping everything so much to himself that he doesn’t try to find out what’s happened since he last disappeared! The guy flipped out at the idea of Dark Matter existing without being something to destroy! And I’m pretty sure he wants to militarize Dream Land for that exact end! What about you, you have any defense for-”
*skrrRRRR…*
Kirby covered his lack-of-ears. “The heck is that noise?!”
Sonny chuckled, backing away slowly. “Oh, I didn’t need a defense. I just needed to get us talking loud enough for Heavy Lobster to track you down.”
And sure enough, the ear-piercing scratching sound gave way to that giant mechanical crustacean tearing through the wall.
“This thing again?!,” Kirby yelped. “Dangit, I don’t have an ability this time! How- wait, up on the face, is that Morph- whoop!” He quickly ducked under one of the mech’s claws as it swung at him. He then tried to dash away, but Sonny tackled him to the ground.
“No! You don’t get to just run away from consequences!”
“Get off! What do you even get out of this?!”
As the puffballs struggled, Heavy Lobster closed in, opening its claws to reveal a pair of nozzles. It loomed over the two for a moment before unleashing its attack - two flamethrower jets that scorched both puffballs and sent them scrambling, punctuated by a laugh from an unknown source.
“Ow ow ow! That’s hot!”
“Gah! I didn’t think it would blast us both!”
“Hey, you put yourself in the way!”
Finally shaking off the embers, Kirby ran back, slipping between the Lobster’s claws to get at its shutter door of a mouth. The mech tried to swipe inward, but then it paused to swish one of its claws near its eye, nearly smacking Morpho out of the air. As the butterfly dove between those eyes, the Lobster spat out a mini-lobster, but Kirby was ready and managed to kick it into the boss’s face, making it stumble back briefly.
As Kirby landed from the rebound, he took a moment to breathe. “Hah… sending your kids in to fight? That’s not a good look.”
Of course, that distraction was enough for him to get tackled from behind by Sonny again. The two puffballs wrestled for a bit, but this time Kirby managed to get the Dee off, kicking him directly into one of Heavy Lobster’s claws… and the mech didn’t hesitate to snag and scorch him.
“Gah! Are you blind?! I’m not Kirby, don’t blast me!”
“Oof, that’s rough,” Kirby quipped. “I can’t believe that shrimp fried you twice.”
Before Sonny could ask what that meant, a different voice came from somewhere again. “It’s a lobster, you idiot! At least give some respect to the machine that’s going to finally end your pathetic-”
“Wait, Captain Vul?!” Sonny looked around, shocked. “Was that you laughing earlier? Why didn’t you do anything?”
“Well, then we wouldn’t have toasted Kirby!,” Vul’s voice replied. “That’s the important part!”
Kirby glanced up at Morpho’s movement. “That sounds pretty bad, you know? It kinda matters if your partners get hurt.”
“Partners? Ha! He’s just one of dozens of crew members!”
“...Wooooow. I, uh, didn’t think you would actually say that.”
Sonny, clearly angered, stomped over and glared at Heavy Lobster’s eyes. “Listen here, Vul! I signed up for this because I believed that deposing Dedede was best for everyone! But if you’re going to treat me like this? It shows that you don’t value everyone’s freedom, you’re just concerned for yourself! I’m taking this directly to Sir Meta Kni-”
He was cut short by a glob of red goop, spit out by Heavy Lobster, which silenced him and pinned him against the floor. Vul’s voice grumbled, “That’s enough, Waddle Dee.”
“...Uh, he’s a Parasol Waddle Dee, technically. If you care about shrimp versus lobster…”
“You shut up too!” As Vul yelled, Heavy Lobster lunged forward, snagging Kirby in one claw and lifting its other to get both flamethrowers trained on him.. “Ugh, I don’t know what Meta ever saw in you. Just die already, will ya?!”
“Ugh… not gonna… be that easy…”
“Heavy Lobster! Fry that… eh?” The captain’s voice trailed off, letting Kirby hear the soft taps of Morpho bumping against one of the mech’s eyes repeatedly. “Okay, this bug is getting annoying. Can’t really damage the eyes, but I don’t want to waste time having someone clean bug juice off them, so…”
As Heavy Lobster tried to snatch that agile butterfly from the air, Kirby wriggled in the other claw’s grasp, slowly slipping downward. “That’s… that’s just real petty. Seriously?”
“Quiet, pinky! Almooost… c’mon… there! Haha!” Vul cackled as Morpho got caught. “Now it’s time for you to finally meet your end!”
“Nope!”
Kirby slid free of the claw’s grip, then took a leap to the side over Sonny. He started inhaling in midair, sucking up all that icky paint-like goop and stopping just in time for the Dee to bounce off his face. He swallowed as soon as he landed, ready to make an over-dramatic pose with whatever ability he gained in the moment.
After that ability icon, Kirby quickly conjured a block of marble from out of nowhere, ramming it directly into Heavy Lobster’s wrist to make it let go of Morpho. He proceeded to chisel away at it, rendering an intricate sculpture of the jellyfish Master Green… and then immediately smashed it against the mech’s other claw.
“Seriously?!” screeched Vul. “You’re making a fool of my battle machine with paint?! Rassa frassa blassa… graaaahh!! Hey, Waddle Dee, do something to stop this guy already!”
“After you just had this thing splatter me with goop to shut me up? Not happening!”
Kirby had a thought as he was tossing disposable clay pots at the Lobster. He leapt up on top of the beast’s head, painting a crude picture of Dedede’s face. “Hey, if you wanna take out some frustration, how about this? It’s not like that Vul guy can have any objections to you attacking the king, right?”
Sonny blinked a couple times, then giggled and grabbed the parasol off his back. “Alright, alright. You make a stronger argument than your brother.”
“...wait, wh-”
“Traitor!!,” Vul interrupted.
“Eh, it was already a coup.”
The two puffballs gave no mercy to Heavy Lobster. When it tried to grab at Kirby, Sonny gave it a mighty parasol whack. When it tried to lunge at Sonny, Kirby painted over its eyes. When it stomped around in a blind rage, that only gave Kirby time to charge up, unleashing a devastating Painbrush attack. Soon enough, it was basically spinning in place, swiping its claws at thin air.
“Phew,” sighed Kirby, noticing that last attack burned out his ability. “I think that’s done with, right?”
Sonny shrugged. “Hey, maybe it’ll blindly walk off the ship. I thiiink Vul’s only got visual through the eyes?”
“Nice, nice. So, uh… I guess I’m heading to the engine, then?”
“...I’m not sure if destroying the Halberd is fully necessary? I mean…” The Dee paused to think. “...well, sure, Vul’s awful. But Meta Knight…”
“Is someone who, as far as I’ve seen, can’t trust anyone enough to do well,” Kirby insisted. “And Dedede’s pretty harmless these days. That’s better than the iron fist Meta Knight’s proposing.”
“Lesser of two evils is still evil, you know.”
Kirby paused for a while. “I, uh… well, that’s… umm…”
“Still no real defense for him, huh.”
“...Look. I think I can make Dedede listen without threatening to blow up Grape Garden. I’d just need to get that idea through Meta Knight’s thick-”
Their conversation was interrupted by a sudden sound from behind, and both turned to see Heavy Lobster in mid-jump, coming right at them.
Oh. Right. It could still trace their sound.
The mech crashed down hard, taking out the floor nearby and plunging down deeper into the ship. Kirby barely managed to inflate himself and float away, while Sonny opened his parasol to float gently down.
“Sonny!”
“I’m fine! Just… just talk to Meta Knight, okay? If you really want this to go peacefully.” The sailor Dee waved bye to Kirby, who nodded and turned to leave… just barely missing Morpho fluttering down and landing on Sonny’s parasol.
Notes:
Kirby misunderstood the thing with mantis shrimp and thought they’re supposed to be a bazillion colors.
aaaaaaaaaaah this script is like five pages looooong
Uh, happy 15th anniversary of KDLA! I was hoping to be a little further along than this - my plans at the beginning of this year were to place #300 on today’s date. Obviously that didn’t happen, and given the struggles I’ve had with this and the ambition I have for that entry, maybe it’s better that way.
Chapter 20: KDLA #295: Spider and Acolyte
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
He wasn’t sure which was worse - the fact that he was actually struggling...
“I have to say, this isn’t quite how I expected the legendary Knight to fare.”
…or that she was so dang cavalier about it.
In any case, Meta Knight refused to let any frustration show through his mask. If he showed any weakness, she would surely take advantage of it… all he needed to do was keep up a perfect defense, until he could strike back.
Unfortunately, his opponent was still keeping up the offense, with both rapier and words. “When I was younger, I thought I’d have felt more honored! But with how many of your duties and virtues you’ve seemingly abandoned…”
“Abandoned no longer,” Meta Knight insisted. “The rising Star has grown far too close to the Darkness… someone needed to rise as this land’s proper hero.”
“And that absolutely needed to be you?” She rolled her eyes, which was impressive for someone without visible pupils. “Shouldn’t you be out of the way, tending to Indigo Isle?”
The knight scoffed. “The Rainbow Drops were hardly important compared to the Muses - it matters not who picks up those stations.”
“Not at all? Even when they’ve barely scraped together half the substitutes they need? And that’s between an incompetent squid, an offshoot of Darkness, and that accursed Stone Monkey?”
“Wait, wait!” Meta Knight stopped cold. “Did you… did you just say one of the new Masters with the Darkness? How on-”
Before he could finish his outburst, Meta Knight was smacked from the side by a webbed-up Javelin Knight, sending both tumbling a short distance across the deck together. It wasn’t until they came to a stop that Meta was able to slice himself free, glaring over at the one responsible - a second spider, this one clad in green.
“Joronia! Are you alright?” he asked, flying right up to his apparent partner. “That throw was far too close to you…”
“Dear Taranza… I’m well,” she reassured him. “But I don’t believe I needed an assist.”
“I know, honey, I’m sorry! I just wanted to help!”
“Uhuhu, I understand, dear. Don’t worry, you’re doing just fine~”
“Ah, thanks, honey~” “Dear~” “Honey~” “Dear~” “Hon-”
“Enough!” shouted Meta Knight. “Such unbelievable conduct! If you’re here to fight, act like it! Or retreat! We’re not after Floralia anyway!”
Taranza glared back at him. “Oh, sure, not yet! But we can tell your ambition - you won’t truly rest until all of Pop Star is under your control! Well, I won’t let you get in the way of my lady’s rightful rule of the heavens! And I doubt you’ll be able to defeat the both of us!”
“...Hmph.” Meta Knight raised his sword at the duo. “So be it. Just know that I won’t back down… and even with all you say I’ve abandoned, I’m not alone.” As he sliced the webs holding down Javelin Knight, his three other knights finally popped out from behind cover, ready to strike.
“Meta-Knights, all together! Attack!”
Notes:
The one kind of sweetness Meta Knight can’t stand.
See, when Dream Buffet first came out and had a CPU name hinting at an alternative headcanon name for Sectonia prior to backstory tragedies, I thought it’d be a neat touch that gave some silver lining to my writing delays. And now it’s like three years after that game and I have to go out of my way in this blurb to remind people about the context. Is the “Joronia” name headcanon even still popular? I dunno at this point. Next chapter in a couple weeks probably.
TheGigaGamer75 (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sun 13 Mar 2022 12:09AM UTC
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CapedLuigisYoshi on Chapter 1 Sun 13 Mar 2022 02:27AM UTC
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TheGigaGamer75 (Guest) on Chapter 1 Mon 21 Mar 2022 08:41PM UTC
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bb180 (Guest) on Chapter 1 Thu 06 Apr 2023 02:00AM UTC
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RedsterTheGamer on Chapter 7 Tue 02 Jan 2024 12:36AM UTC
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RedsterTheGamer on Chapter 14 Tue 02 Jan 2024 12:43AM UTC
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RedsterTheGamer on Chapter 17 Tue 02 Jan 2024 12:48AM UTC
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RedsterTheGamer on Chapter 19 Tue 02 Jan 2024 12:52AM UTC
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