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Louis is 17 when he touches Hannah for the first time. He’s mouthing off in class again. She and some of the other kids are laughing while the teacher tries to maintain some semblance of order. She goes to swat him on the shoulder and he reflexively grabs her hand.
There’s a rushing in his ears and he feels his entire body go warm when he sees her eyes widen. She’s looking at his heart and he’s looking at hers; they’re glowing.
Hannah is his soul-mate.
The thing isn’t that Louis doesn’t love her.
He loves her so much it hurts him to look at her sometimes. She’s so sunny and bright; just like him. They have so much fun together and they can talk for hours about everything and nothing. He loves her. She’s his best friend.
The thing is that they’ve been together for almost two years and he still feels the same way about her as he did when they first touched.
He thought that because she was his soul-mate he would change. That he was wrong about himself. That because she was his soul-mate he must like girls; at least this girl. How can he be gay if his soul-mate is a girl? It's not possible... but he still waits for kisses to be over so they can go back to talking. He still wants more for himself and he hates himself because he doesn’t want it from her.
He tells her over the phone because he’s a coward and he doesn’t want her to see his sad puppy dog face. He doesn’t think it works very well.
“It’s all gonna be ok, you know that babes? Alright?” He’s such a piece of shit. She’s consoling him even though he’s the one ruining everything.
“I’m so sorry Hannah, I’m so so sorry I-“
“You know I still love you yeah? No matter what?” Theres a tremor in her voice and he hates himself for putting it there.
“Yeah I know. I love you too.”
“I’ve gotta go now but we’ll talk later ok? It’s gonna be alright.”
They’re already a month into summer break so he wallows. He refuses to get out of bed save for work. His mother gets so worried that she forces the story out of him and Louis cries on her some more. She probably understands more than anyone what it’s like when you and your soul-mate don’t work out. It helps.
He’s a mess, but one thing Louis knows better than anyone is how to fake it. So he puts on his tightest, thinnest shirt, his best pair of skinny jeans, and picks up a bloke from the absolute rankest gay club he’s ever been in; the only gay club he’s ever been in really. Uni starts in the fall and he’ll be damned if gets there completely inexperienced.
He doesn’t call Hannah.
—————————
“Honeeyyy I’m hoome!!!” Louis calls as he bursts into his flat and jumps onto the sofa where a very grumbly tuft of black hair is peaking out from under a blanket.
“Zayny baby wake up! I have the best news!”
“Fuck off Louis.” Louis just grins and goes dead weight, causing Zayn to groan.
“Ugh fine I’m up what the fuck.” He pushes himself up into a sitting position (a difficult feat really, what with Louis still on top of him).
“I got a fucking 83 on my bloody Grimshaw essay. You know how he has it out for me yeah?”
Zayn smiles and ruffles Louis’ hair. “Yeah babes, because you always write your essays the night before. And you called him a pretentious fuck and he heard you.”
Louis rolls his eyes. “My point is that I need to celebrate. This is the best mark I’ve ever gotten in his class and I deserve to get absolutely plastered for it.”
“You can do that. Call the boys, they’ll go with you.”
Louis pouts and puts his arms around Zayn, burying his face into his neck.
“Pleeeaase? It’s been ages since you’ve come out with us. You’re always in class or holed up in your room. I miss you. You only talk to Perrie on your weird webcam sex dates-“ Zayn huffs a laugh and pats Louis on the back. Louis pulls away and wobbles his lip.
“Do you love her more than you love me?”
Zayn is full on laughing now and he pushes Louis off the couch, eyes shining.
“You’re such a fucking weirdo. Barely any of that is even true.”
Louis grins up at him. “But you’re coming, right?”
Zayn sighs. “Yeah.”
—————————————
Niall’s already nabbed a booth at their regular bar when Louis and Zayn finally show up.
Louis looks around, “Where’s Liam?”
Niall slides each of them a pint of beer. “He’s still at the library with Harry studying for some Biology final.”
“I do not envy that. Haven’t taken a science course since I finished my requirements in first year.” Zayn and Niall clink glasses, “Amen to that.”
Louis sips his beer and looks between them. “Don’t you think its strange that you lot have been friends with Harry since we were first years and I’ve never actually met him?”
Niall scratches the back of his head. “I don’t think it was ever on purpose? Harry has a lot of friends and we’ve invited him sometimes but he usually either has plans or is studying.”
Zayn traces the rim of his glass with a finger, “And no offense mate, I love you but Harry’s a little... sensitive? And you can be…”
Louis all but squawks in indignation. “Im not going to be mean or anything. People love me. I’m a fucking delight.”
Niall grins and Zayn wraps an arm around Louis’ shoulders. “We know babes.”
“Hey lads!” A voice cuts in and the three of them look up. Louis sees Liam first but his eyes zero in on a bashful looking boy trailing right behind him. He has long hair, big eyes, and is wearing the most darling floral blouse. Louis's face feels hot, and his chest a little lighter, but he feels himself grinning.
“Oi Payno! Whose this you’ve brought?”
Liam startles before giving a slight laugh. “Yeah Tommo this is Harry-“
“Oh Harold! You know we were just talking about you! I reckon our friends here were afraid I’d scare you off.”
Zayn slaps a hand over his forehead and Niall laughs into his drink. Harry just raises his eyebrows, eyes twinkling.
“All good things I hope.”
“With these boys? Two-faced, every single one of them. You’re better off sticking with me.”
Harry smiles and Louis is already completed endeared as the five of them settle into the booth.
“Harry Styles. I’m pretty sure I know who you are but..?”
Louis sees the split second Harry starts to lift his hand to shake and Louis knows he can’t let that happen.
He’s not sure why he does it. He’s already met his soul-mate, and even though plenty of people have multiple soul-mates (or none at all) Louis feels something within him telling him he’s not ready to touch Harry just yet. So he does what a lot of people do when they haven’t found who they’re fated for and aren’t ready to know it’s a stranger.
Louis waves and says, “Louis Tomlinson. I’ll be rather offended if you don’t.”
Harry is lovely and takes the cue to divert his hand to his hair, like tugging on a curl was what he was planning on doing. “Oh I’ve definitely heard of you. Is it true you called Nick a pretentious fuck to his face?”
The whole table roars with laughter and Louis buries his face in his hands.
“I didn’t know he was standing there!” Louis elbows Zayn in the ribs and thinks, ‘If I had i’d have said much worse.’
Harry chuckles before offering to get everyone another round. Louis knew he liked him for a reason.
When he comes back he slides in across from Louis.
“So why do you hate Nick so much? He’s not so bad.”
“What’s your major again?”
Harry runs a hand through his hair. “Um, music and biology double major.”
Louis’ eyes widen. “Jesus christ, genius. Well you don’t need to take him for any upper level English classes. I can’t graduate on time without his course and he won’t give me a decent mark to save my life.”
Liam groans. “Don’t remind me. This course me and Harry are taking is brutal. I hate it.”
Niall lifts his glass and clears his throat. “I propose a toast!”
Louis and Harry slap the table and at the same moment yell, “Hear hear!”
Zayn laughs and looks at Liam. “What have we done.” Liam smiles and shrugs.
“Anyway!” Niall announces. “I propose a toast! To graduating on time!”
“To graduating on time!”
Niall proceeds to chug the rest of his pint while the rest of the lads look on. Louis glances at Harry and snorts when he wiggles his eyebrows at him.
It’s a really great night.
——————————————
After that it’s completely natural for Harry to come to more of their group hang outs. Louis makes sure he’s being as welcoming as possible.
They get along really well. Even the other boys notice. All of them have mentioned at one time or another how bizarre it is that Louis can sit still when Harry is around. Louis generally flips them the bird from his spot on the couch when this happens, legs in Harry’s lap. They still haven’t touched, but Louis a very tactile person and he can’t help resting his chin on Harry’s clothed shoulder, or running a hand down his back.
Louis hasn’t really liked anyone since second year. Hasn’t really let himself like anyone this much probably ever. He’s so easy to talk to, and they click like He and Hannah used to. They text all the time and they never run out of things to say to one another. But, more than that, he likes silence with Harry.
Louis doesn’t like quiet. He always feels like he needs to fill it with something and Louis is never short on words. But the first time they hang out alone without the other boys (if you can call it hanging out) they talk a little bit and then study in complete silence. He’s never gotten so much work done in the span of three hours in his life.
They meet up for lunch without the other boys and talk about class, meet up on weekends and smoke in the ravine. And Louis wants to kiss him so badly; wants to actually touch him. But he’s already made the move when they first met not to, and it’d be weird to go back on that now without explaining himself at least a little bit.
Louis does not want to have that conversation.
——————————————
They see each other almost every other day until they have to start revising for exams, and then they see precisely none of each other.
Louis’ exhausted and hasn’t really slept in days when he finally gets out of his last exam. He rushes back to his flat and thinks 'if he never has another red bull in his life it’ll be too soon,' just as his head hits his pillow and he falls straight the fuck asleep.
A slight buzzing by his head causes him to drift fuzzily to consciousness. He feels sticky and disgusting, having fallen asleep still bundled in his winter coat and scarf. He peels himself out of his coat and changes his shirt. He’d forgotten how awful naps were. He needed to ask Zayn how he managed to take them all the time while still feeling like a human being afterward.
He grabs his phone and smiles when he sees what Harry has texted him.
‘Break a leg on ur final !! You can do it !! xx.’
Louis hits the ‘details’ button and presses ‘call’.
It rings twice and then a croaky voice comes through the speaker, “Hey Lou.”
Louis frowns. “Has some creature come in the night a stolen your lovely pipes babe? Is this actually you?”
He hears a tinny laugh in his ear and then a hacking cough. “Yeah, just me.”
“You sound fucking awful.”
“Thanks a lot.”
Louis sighs. “Have you got anyone there taking care of you?”
Another cough. “I had Li making me soup before but both he and Niall have already gone home. I didn’t have my last exam ’til yesterday.”
“No no no that won’t stand. I’m coming over to take care of you.”
“Please Lou, it’s fine. My mum’s driving to pick me up tomorrow; I’ll be fine ’til then. I don’t want you to get sick.”
“Nonsense! I've already decided. You can’t stop me Styles.” Louis presses end and grabs his coat as he rushes out the door. He stops for takeaway because he’s not an idiot, he knows he can’t cook, and makes it to Harry’s shared flat a little over an hour later.
He lets himself in and finds Harry breathing loudly on the couch. Louis plops down on the floor right at his feet and starts opening the takeaway.
“I’ve come bearing gifts. Went to that sushi place you like, got some miso for the sickly patient.”
Harry’s looking at Louis so intently that he has to look away. “You brought me soup.”
“Of course love, I’m not completely useless.”
Harry sighs, sniffling a bit. “Well I am, it’s pathetic.”
“Oi!” Louis swats Harry’s knee and makes the boy perk up a bit, smiling. “Don’t put yourself down! You’re just poorly. Now eat your soup.”
“I think you’re supposed to drink it.”
“That’s a damn lie, Zayn’s trying to make me look like an idiot.”
Harry’s looking straight into his eyes with a small smile on his face and Louis feels so warm, like Harry makes him completely transparent to everything he feels.
“You could never look like an idiot.” Harry holds his gaze for a moment longer and then the moment’s gone.
“A twat, maybe.”
“You shut your mouth!” They laugh until Harry starts coughing again and then they eat in comfortable silence. Louis fusses and makes sure Harry doesn’t have to get up for anything; makes him tea, fluffs his pillow. They’re watching some crap telly when Louis notices Harry’s eyes starting to droop.
Louis frowns and rubs Harry’s arm to get his attention. “Hazza? You want to get into bed? You should rest.” Harry furrows his eyebrows and blinks slowly before starting to get up. “Yeah ok.”
Harry lets himself be lead to his own bedroom, barely refraining from rolling his eyes. Louis pushes him onto to bed and starts piling on the blankets.
“Lou, I'm gonna suffocate, jesus.”
“Oh yeah?” Louis grabs the largest comforter and drapes it over Harry’s whole body, including his face.”How’s that? Feeling better now?” Louis jumps on the bed and straddles Harry through the layers of blankets, digging his fingers into Harry’s ribs. Harry barks out a laugh. He squirms until Louis' decided he's had enough.
They’re both out of breath when Harry finally pulls the comforter down to his chin. Louis is still on top of him, hands on his chest. They lock eyes and breathe.
Louis could do it. He knows, in that moment, that he could lean in and brush his nose against Harry’s. He could kiss him. Harry’s eyes dart to his lips and Louis knows Harry’d let him. He’d know once and for all that this could go somewhere. More than that, he’d finally know whether his heart would glow like he thought it would.
Louis’ heart thudded in his chest. And then he moved to get off of Harry and leave the room.
He could see the disappointment in Harry’s eyes. It hurt. He didn't like knowing he was the one who put it there. Louis went out to the kitchen and brewed some more tea. When he got back to the bedroom Harry’s breath was slow and his eyes half-lidded. Louis set the tea down. He sighed, started to make for the door.
“Thanks for taking care of me.” When Louis turned around Harry was watching him from the bed.
“No problem babes. You know I’ll always come when you call.” Louis fought not to wince at his choice of words. Though it wasn’t exactly untrue.
“You’ll call me during the break yeah? As I might miss you?” That put a soft smile on Louis’ face.
“Of course. I’ll see you in January, yeah?”
Harry’s still watching like he’s looking for something. Like he’s wondering what it is that Louis’ so afraid of.
“Ok.”
On his way back to his flat Louis replays the day in his head over and over agin.
He doesn’t have an answer.
———————————
Being at home is nice and relaxing and he tries to make a point to spend as much time as possible with his siblings while he can. He and Harry try to talk a few times but they’re both busy and end up playing phone tag more than anything. It makes Louis feel antsy, like there are a lot of things going left unsaid, but when he laments to Zayn about it he gets minimal sympathy.
“You had your chance mate. Nothing you can really do about it now. Better to just wait until we get back to school.”
On New Years he goes out to the pub with Stan and Oli, who are really the only friends from home he still talks to anymore. He’s scrolling down the contacts in his phone. He wants to try and catch Harry, but when he gets to the ‘H section he sees an old name he hasn’t called in years.
They’d exchanged a few messages on Facebook (that she'd had to initiate) but he hadn’t actually heard her voice since he’d told her he couldn’t be with her anymore. He stares for a moment. His thumb hovers over the name. Before he loses his nerve he taps it and his phone starts ringing.
It rings so long he’s almost sure that she’s not going to pick up. Rightfully so, he hasn’t really tried to contact her in almost four years. She’d have every right to let it go to voicemail or have his number blocked completely.
Hannah, however, was always better to him than he thought he deserved and when Louis hears the confused “Hello?” across the line he almost forgets how to breathe.
“Louis, are you just going to breathe in my ear or are you going to say something.” She’s joking, but theres an edge to it like she can’t remember if they tease each other like that anymore. He’s such an asshole.
“Hey Hannah. i just,” He’s at a loss what to say. He has too much to say. Its been a long time.
“I wanted to see how you were doing.”
“I’m-I’m good. I’m really good. How are you?”
“Good! That’s good. I'm great.” Louis winces. The awkward silence is completely his fault. He’s the reason they don’t know how to talk to each other any more.
“Listen Lou I’m… I’m really glad you called. I am.” Louis braces himself for the ‘but’.
“Do you want to maybe, call me tomorrow when we’re not drunk or hungover and catch up?”
Louis chokes out a shocked, “That would be great.” He’s always taken aback by how kind she is, even she has every right not to be.
“And Louis?” He blinks the wetness out of his eyes. “Yeah?”
“Call me, yeah?” He deserves that. But he’s going to this time. He’s going to call her. He’s not going to leave her hanging again. She deserves better than that.
“I will.”
—————————————
Returning to school after winter holidays was like emerging from a hazy fog back into the clarity of real life. It was also scary because it was their last semester; probably the last time they, as a group, would all be in the same place at the same time. They were going to have real jobs and have to pay bills and be responsible for everything in their lives. And Louis still didn’t know what he was going to do about his feelings for Harry. It was terrifying.
As with all terrifying prospects, Louis decided to ignore it completely.
The cold weather slowly melted and thawed into a nice spring and winter coats were traded in for light jumpers and wellies. The boys saw each other whenever they could in between papers and revisions. Louis texted Harry as much as he ever had even though they didn’t hang out as much without the other boys.
Louis could tell that Harry was waiting for him; Could tell from from the way he looked at him when he thought Louis wasn’t paying attention. And it’s not that Louis didn’t want more too. He knew he was more affectionate with Harry than any of the other boys, even though he’d deny it on his life. He had ample opportunities to take that next step; times when he almost ran a hand through Harry’s curls instead of clutching his shoulder, when he could’ve grabbed Harry’s hand and known for sure, one way or the other.
He wasn’t sure which he was more afraid of; their hearts glowing or nothing happening at all.
——————————————
“Damn this is good. I’ve missed you Tommo.”
All the boys piled themselves into Harry and Niall’s flat and Louis decided to forego the beer and make the boys margaritas. Louis grins from his place on the couch next to Harry.
“Of course you have, I’m amazing.”
Niall plops down on the floor with a can of beer in each hand. Louis scoffs. “Oi oi! What the fuck happened to the drink I made you? With me own two hands!”
Niall shrugs. “Sorry mate. I can’t betray my brand. You’d never trade in Yorkshire Tea for anything else would you?“ “Oh for god’s sake Niall.”
Zayn smirks. “I love mine. Thank you Louis.”
Louis huffs. “You’re welcome, love. At least someone appreciates me around here.”
“Not the usually fruity shit innit.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
When the laughs die down the boys settle into comfortable conversation. Niall talks about his vision for his final project in music theory, and Zayn and Liam talk about how excited and nervous they are to graduate. Four years has flown by.
Louis starts to tune out the talk about the future. It’s stressful and Harry is sitting next to him. Harry who has decided to wear sweatpants instead of his usual circulation restricting skinny jeans. Harry who looks soft and cute and curly and a little tipsy.
Louis traces the outer seam of Harry’s pants with his finger. Harry huffs but doesn’t stop him. He’s completely entranced and moves to trace the inner seam. Harry grabs his sleeve and holds his arm still and Louis’ fingers twitch. He doesn’t even notice that the conversation has changed completely until Niall says, “I don’t think I have one, if I’m honest.”
Louis startles and turns to him. “Don’t have one what?”
“A soul-mate.” That gets Louis’ attention.
Niall takes a chug of his beer before continuing. “Yeah I don’t know. A lot of people talk about feeling like they’re waiting for something to happen, like their soul-mate is out there and everything is going to change the moment they meet them. I’ve never felt like that.”
Harry frowns. “I’m sorry Ni.”
“No it’s ok! It’s not something I feel like I’m missing. Plenty of people have soul-mates that they don’t end up with and I guess I just feel like I know I can have meaningful relationships anyway. Like I have you lads and I’m not necessarily dating anyone right now but I’m not worried.”
Louis wipes a fake tear after blinks away the very real ones in his eyes. “That was beautiful Niall.”
Niall shakes his head and laughs.
Liam looks uncomfortable for a moment and stares at his hands folded in his lap.
“I definitely feel like I’m waiting. I don’t stop myself from like, dating or anything, even dating really seriously but…”
Liam pauses and Zayn walks over to him on his knees and cups his cheek. “You know you’re brilliant and lovely, yeah? Anyone would be lucky to have you.” Liam smiles. “Yeah Zayn.”
Zayn nods and crawls back over to his chair.
“What I mean is I feel like I’m not going to feel right until I meet my soul-mate and give it a try with them, you know? I know that they’re not a sure thing but I can’t start a permanent life with out leaving a space open for them. Not when I know they’re out there somewhere.”
Harry sips his margarita and Louis crosses his arms across his chest. He doesn’t really know what to say. It’s not really a conversation he wants to be having.
“I guess I’m really lucky.” Zayn’s voice cuts through the silence.
“I met Pezza at college and it was just so easy to be around her. She’s amazing, absolute sunshine. She’s far away right now for school and… its shit. I’m not going to lie. It’s shit and I miss her but we understand each other.
“We understand that we can’t be together right now. We’re both busy living our own lives and growing into the people we are and being with people and having fun experiencing life. But I always know she’s it for me, yeah? And I’m never worried about us not having time in the future to finally be ‘us’. I love her a lot.” Zayn gives a watery smile. “I love you lads a lot too.”
“Aw Zayn. I love you.” Niall says and reaches out a hand. Zayn grabs it and they hold for a moment, just smiling at each other.
Liam breaks the silence by yawning. “Ah lads it’s getting late, I think I’ll be off if that’s alright.”
Zayn nods, “I’ll walk with you, your flat is on my way.”
Theres a lot of shuffling around but at the end of it Niall hugs everyone goodnight and goes to his room while Zayn kisses Louis and Harry on the forehead and runs out after Liam.
The flat is finally quiet and Louis and Harry are left alone on the couch.
Harry fiddles with a loose thread on his shirt. Louis sighs and curls his fingers around the sleeve.
Harry finally speaks. “You didn’t say anything when the boys were all talking about soul-mates.”
Louis holds his breath as Harry continues. “I realized I’ve never actually heard you say anything about soul-mates at all.” It’s too perfect an opening. As much as Louis doesn’t want to have this conversation, he knows he won’t likely get a chance like this again.
“Her name is Hannah.” He hears Harry suck in a breath.
“She’s lovely. She deserved so much better than me. I met her when I still hadn’t figured everything out and I thought I could do it. She made it so easy to believe. She was my absolute best friend. And of course I know that plenty of people can’t be with their soul-mate romantically for whatever reason, I know that but…
“It wasn’t fair to her that she got saddled with someone like me. And it wasn’t fair to me either. I had almost come to terms with myself until I touched her. It made me doubt myself because if she was mine then I had to be wrong about it, yeah? I tried so hard to be what she deserved and if only our stupid hearts hadn’t started glowing we each could’ve gone through our lives without ever hurting like this.
“I hurt her so bad.” Louis covers his face with his hands and breathes sharply. He feels Harry rub a hand down his shoulder. "Do you think it bothers you more that you think you could've been with her if you were bi or straight or something else? Or that you still might not be right for each other even then?" Louis shakes his head. "I can't think like that," he says, muffled in his palms. "I'll make myself crazy." They're quiet for a moment and then Harry speaks.
“I met my soul-mate the second week of uni, at a bar.”
Louis uncovers his face and looks up at Harry, who’s looking at a spot on the wall past his shoulder.
“I was there with my roommate and some friends. I had to run to the toilet but I tripped and this boy helped me up. The second he touched my hand my heart started glowing and I was so elated that it took me a moment to realize that, well, his wasn’t.”
Louis’ eyebrows furrowed and he felt a wave of sympathy wash over him. Soul-mate business wasn’t perfect, but he’d never actually met someone in real life with an unrequited bond.
“His friends called him back to their table, Aiden they called him, and he just walked away. Just like that. It wasn’t his fault, he was piss drunk and was just trying to have a good night but it messed with my head. I went and got monumentally fucked up, met Niall that night actually, and had my first proper Uni hangover the next morning.”
Louis is shocked silent. He doesn’t know what to say. He decides to hug Harry’s forearm to his chest and kiss it. When he looks up Harry is smiling at him.
“It’s ok love, I’m not sad about it anymore; Haven’t been for a long time. Just waiting for my next soul-mate to come around.”
Louis frowns. “How can you even know that you have another one. It’s so rare. No one can just expect that.”
Harry shakes his head and holds Louis’ gaze. “I can feel it. I’m waiting. They just have to decide.”
Louis stares back until Harry finally looks away. “How about I put on a movie until you fall asleep. I’ll stay with you, yeah?”
Louis sprawls on the couch. “The Notebook please!”
Harry rolls his eyes and puts the movie in. He shoves Louis over on the couch so he can get comfortable. No sooner have the opening credits started when they’re both drifting off to sleep.
———————————————
When Louis wakes up the first thing he notices is the disgusting taste in his mouth.
The second thing he notices is that there is a mop of curls right in front of his face.
Somehow in the night Louis and Harry had moved around until they were lined up, arse to crotch, spooning. Louis’ hand was on Harry’s waist and Harry was breathing evenly in front of him.
Louis was so comfortable.
He wants so badly to shove his face into the back of Harry’s neck and breathe in but he’s not sure he’d be welcome and it wouldn’t be fair to just go back to sleep, though he wants to something burning.
He sneaks out of his position without waking Harry. He tip-toes into the toilet, steals some of Niall’s mouth wash and shuts the front door quietly behind him.
He doesn’t even realize who he’s calling on his way to his flat until it’s already ringing in his ear.
“nn-Louis, why are you calling me at, ugh, 7 in the bloody morning on a Saturday?”
“Hannah I like a boy.”
Hannah sighs. “Alright, what’s the problem?”
“I like him so much. How the fuck do I do this? I don’t date anyone. How do you date people?”
Hannah yawns. “Quite often actually.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Babes it’s not that hard. Once you know that the person isn’t your soul-mate it’s easy to have an open mind and let whatever happens happen. Love can come in so many places.”
“I’m just so-I don’t… I haven’t even touched him yet. Like I’ve known him for months and I just… haven’t.”
“I-How did you manage that?”
Louis huffs, “With determination.”
“Well then what are you whining about? Go get your boy.”
“But-“
“Lou, darling. Once you realize that soul-mates are like everyone else your life, you’re free.”
Louis bites his lip and Hannah sighs.
“In a perfect world your soul-mate is someone who’s going to be very important to you in your life. But the world isn’t perfect. People are awful or they’re not ready or they’re just not right for each other and that’s ok. But you’ve known this boy for months and you think he’s lovely and unless he’s an idiot he thinks you are too.”
Louis stops in his tracks and realizes he’s halfway between Harry’s and his own flat. He also realizes that he needs to go back.
“You’re brilliant. You know that right?”
“Yeah, you’re a git. I’m going back to sleep. Never wake me this early again.”
When she hangs up Louis breaks into a run.
He gets to the building and takes the steps two at a time until he’s rapping his knuckles on the door of Harry and Niall’s shared flat. Harry opens the door with the sleepiest, most confused look on his face. His hair is a ruffled mess and he’s trying to rub his eyes awake. Louis wants to keep him.
Harry’s voice is obscenely slow as he says, “Louis? Why are you out there?”
Louis shuffles in just enough to close the door behind him; his hand makes an aborted reach for Harry’s face, and then Harry is definitely awake.
“I’ve decided I don’t care anymore. I care about you too much to keep being scared.”
Louis takes a deep breath. “Can I kiss you?”
Harry immediately crowds him against the back of the door. Their noses almost touch “Yes.”
Louis closes his eyes; doesn’t want either outcome to cloud his judgement. He reaches out and places his hands on Harry’s shoulders. As he pulls him closer he drags them up Harry’s throat to hold his jaw and the back of his head.
Their lips touch. Everything they had been holding back is bared, desperate and close. Their noses brush and Louis bites Harry’s bottom lip to try and stop it from leaving his space. They kiss slow and deep. Harry's tongue sweeps over Louis' top lip and licks into his mouth. Louis thinks he could cry with it. They start kissing more fiercely until Harry wraps his hands around Louis’ and intertwines their fingers. He slows their kisses gradually, and then they just breathe together, foreheads touching.
Louis blinks his eyes open and sees Harry smiling at him. His heart could burst. When he looks down he sees the center of two chests glowing faintly through their shirts.
He’s doesn’t think he’s ever been this happy in his life.
———————————————————
Later Harry finally gets them to his room so they can have some quiet privacy. They’re laying on the bed; one of Harry’s many blankets thrown on top of them. Louis has his face buried in Harry’s neck and still hasn’t let go of his hand. Their fingers feel stiff but they wouldn’t let go for anything right now.
“You knew,” Louis mumbles. Harry looks down at him but his eyes are closed.
“Pardon?”
“You knew, about us. Even though we hadn’t touched. How is that possible.”
Harry kisses his forehead. “I don’t know. I just had this feeling about you. It felt like coming home.”
Louis doesn’t respond for so long Harry almost thinks he’s gone back to sleep.
“I’m sorry I kept you waiting.” He strokes his thumb up and down the back of Harry’s hand.
“I was never worried. You were always a sure thing for me.” Louis squeezes Harry’s hand hard. Their hearts glow between them.
They drift back to sleep with smiles on their faces, completely content.