Work Text:
“Buck, why the hell are you here? It is 7 am on a motherfuckin’ Saturday” Deb hadn’t fully woken up but when she looked at Buck she could clearly see the tear stains on his cheeks.
Deb wasn’t always the smartest at times, but she wasn’t dumb, she knew Buck didn’t cry unless it was serious.“Shit, Buck, are you okay? Come in, Pam’s already awake and she’s making breakfast,” Buck sort of awkwardly waddled in, Deb following behind him after shutting the door.
“Who was at the door- Oh hey, Buck, I haven’t seen you in a hot minute” Pam was always nice, she was rarely ever sarcastic, she and Deb are polar opposites, maybe that just meant that he had a chance with his opposite... “Uh, yeah, good to see you too, Pam. I just had a question for Deb, I won’t be here long” Buck tapped Deb’s arm, directing her over to the living room. The two sat on the couch, Deb had been sitting with her legs spread open, the latter was sitting very stiffly.
Buck was the first to break the silence “When did you like, turn gay or whatever?” Deb sat up at the question, she could tell this wasn’t a joke because this wasn’t Buck’s usual snarky tone that he used when making a rude joke. “Well, I didn’t turn gay, I’ve always been gay, and I just kind of always knew. If you’re looking for advice, I suggest you go to Steve, he knows more about finding yourself out than me” Buck’s eyes widened, “Why-why would I be looking for advice, I’m straight,” Buck was stumbling over his words so much that even he couldn’t believe the words he was saying. “Mhm, sure, whatever you have to tell yourself, is there anything else you need, or is that all?” Buck shook his head and headed for the door, once he was in his car he got a message from Deb, It was Mary’s address.
Buck scoffed as he put his phone into his pocket, then drove off to the address.
Buck knocked on the door so softly, hoping Steve wouldn’t open the door, but apparently, he has some super-hearing power because he opened the door on the first knock. “Oh, Hey Buck! How’d you find out my address?” Steve looked confused, which is an appropriate response to when your coworker shows up at your door, unannounced, but you never gave them your address. “I’m a fucking spy, I know everything” Buck scoffed, then mumbled, “Deb gave me your address”. Steve looked shocked, not at the fact Deb gave his address to Buck but the fact he actually came to his house, it must be something serious if he willing came over to see and interact with Steve.
“Oh um, well, did you need something? Here, come in” Steve motioned for Buck to come inside.
Buck got adjusted on the couch, hoping no one had sex on it, while Steve went into the kitchen.
“Mary, what the fuck are you doing in there?” Buck asked, after hearing a loud whistle. “I’m making tea, it’s just basic black tea, do you want some?” Buck began to sweat, should he take the tea and keep up his stereotypical heterosexual man act or should he just be honest?
“Uh, No, I got something on the way over here.” Perhaps a little bit of both wouldn’t hurt.
“The only thing near here that is open on a Sunday is Starbucks and a coffee shop where everyone is constantly on dates, it’s really hard to find a time where they aren’t packed,” Steve said, he never pegged Buck for a Starbucks kind of guy. “Oh um, well, they have mediocre refreshers there, it’s basically just flavored water” Buck sort of mumbled. “You got a refresher, at Starbucks? I guess the crew is being a good influence on you” Steve chuckled, slightly sending Buck into a panic mode, was he that obvious?
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Steve sat down his mug on a pride flag coaster and sat next to Buck. “I just meant that you’ve finally grown a little out of your toxic masculinity, the Buck I knew from when you first got here would’ve never in a million years bought a drink from Starbucks of all places, let alone a refresher, I’m just happy to see you start to finally break out of your shell” Buck gulped, maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad, he knew if he came out to the team, assuming that he was gay, they’d have no problem with it. They’d probably make him learn about all the gay things.
“So anyway, why did you come here? I know it isn’t because you wanted to spend time with me so might as well just spit it out already” Buck stared at Mary, “I bet you never spit” Buck mumbled, Steve clearly hearing it with these super hearing powers that he somehow apparently just got. “Excuse me? Of course, I never spit, if the dick is in my mouth without a condom, there isn’t much risk, I make sure my sexual partners are STD-free, and if they aren’t, we work around it” Steve explained, Buck fake gagging “Tmi, dude” Steve chuckled, “Now, stop stalling and state your reason for being here” Buck’s posture stiffened, part of him just screamed at him to get up and leave, he was a man. He wasn’t supposed to like other men. But the other part of Buck was gently speaking about how it’s okay to like men, he finally had learned to let that voice rationalize his thoughts.
He took a deep breath in and quickly blurted out “When did you know you were gay?” then hid his face. He felt a hand lightly grip his hand, which was covering his face. When he opened his eyes he was met with the sight of an understanding expression laid upon Steve’s face. “Well, first of all, I appreciate you trusting me enough to ask me that, and secondly, I always knew I was kind of different, but up until I was 14, I never understood why I was different. Then I met this guy, at the time he and I were polar opposites, but that’s because I was trying to be something I wasn’t, but that’s when I realized I was gay if that helps at all,” Buck scoffed, Steve deadpanned, expecting some sort of homophobic joke, “what do you mean ‘kind of different’ you’re literally so weird, I’ve seen you eat chocolate then drink pickle juice without getting sick!” Steve sighed with relief, then wrote something down on a piece of paper and slid it over to Buck. “Well, if that’s all you needed, you’re free to go now” Steve shooed Buck out of the door “I feel like I don’t have a choice so yeah, I’m gonna go now” Buck was about to walk out the door but stopped for a second “Thanks, Mare” Steve smiled at the latter, “No problem, now shoo! Benji’s coming over here in a few minutes” Steve wiggled his eyebrows, Buck pretending to gag, for the second time this visit “I feel like if I stay here any longer I’ll be gagging a lot more” both of the men froze, Steve pursed his lips, and opened his mouth as if he was about to say something but then closed it again. “That’s- That’s not what I meant!” Buck bashfully said, quickly waddling out of Steve’s house before hearing a response from Steve.
Once Buck was settled in the car, he looked at a piece of paper that had Twink’s workplace written down on it, there was also a time, a closing time, that so happened to be close to the time it was currently. He drove to the place, and when he went inside the first thing he saw was asses. Lots of booty shorts, what was this place? Gay hooters? Buck’s attention was suddenly brought towards a certain drag queen.
“Buck?” Twink’s eyes widened when he saw the familiar white shirt his coworker wore, that and he’s the only seemingly ‘straight’ guy in the bar, the poor guy stands out like a sore thumb. “Oh, um, yeah, sorry, I needed to um- talk to you and Mare gave me the address to here, so um-” Buck kept tripping over his words. “Uh, yeah, can you wait outside? I’ll be out in a minute” Twink laughed off his nervousness, why was Buck here? What did he need? Was he about to get hurt? No, Steve would never let that happen…well? No! Steve wouldn’t do that, even if he was mad at Twink, but Twink didn’t think he upset Steve but who knows, wouldn’t be the first time he didn’t notice something.
“Girl, you need to go out there, poor thing was stutterin’ more than a 13-year-old wannabe rapper” Twink laughed, “That was oddly specific, you want to tell us something?” the group bursted out in laughter “I went through a straight phase!” Twink started packing up his shit, “You go, girl! Go get laid, I bet he got a big one too” Twink paused at the door “Oh, it is” and with that, Twink left with a smug look on his face, his group cheering and whistling louder than teenagers at a Harry Styles concert. “So, um- Want to go back to my place?” Buck nodded.
~Time skip to when they got to Twink’s place~
“Sorry about the mess, I make my own clothes most of the time and rarely have time to clean”
“Oh it’s alright, very um…glittery…but it’s- What’re those?” Buck pointed to the fake eyelashes stuck to the mirror on the wall, ‘Did Twink have some weird spider pet?’ Buck thought to himself. “Hm? Oh, those are fake eyelashes” Buck stared at them, a slight amount of relief filling his body, Buck had truly awful entomophobia, if those had actually been spiders he was about to run out and hyperventilate on the sidewalk.
I guess he stared at them a little too long since Twink spoke up “Do you- Do you want to try them on?” Here come the voices again, Buck knew that it was okay to wear them, but the other part of Buck couldn’t help but think about what Chunley would think. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, I know you probably don’t like to wear makeup-” Buck cut Twink off with a mumble, Twink couldn’t really make out what he said though.
“What was that?” Buck spoke up louder this time, “I said I wouldn’t be…opposed… to the idea” Twink’s eyes lit up, “Only the lashes, or can I do more?” Twink asked excitedly. Buck nodded his head and Twink got to work.
“So, what do you think?” Twink asked, Buck looked in the mirror…oh my god. “I love you” Is all Buck said as if he was just now letting himself realize that. “What? All I did was put some makeup on you” Twink nervously laughed, had his makeup skills actually been that good? “No, I just- I’ve thought about you like this for a while but now it’s suddenly hitting me” Twink cupped Buck’s face, “I can tell this is a hard subject for you at the moment so let’s talk about this later but in the mean-time..” Twink dragged his finger down Buck’s chest. Let’s just say the two had a long night.
“Good morning,” Buck called out, it was so early and yet Buck was so energized for some reason, “Did you- Did you make breakfast? What is this, a cheesy rom-com?” Twink laughed, no one he’s ever been with/hooked up with has done this for him, usually, they either expected something from him or just left him high and dry. “Hm? Oh, yeah, um- I was hungry and I thought it’d be rude to only make myself breakfast so I just mpfh-” Buck got cut off with a kiss.
“You’re adorable. For some reason, I always thought you were the type to just bang and go” Buck looked towards Twink, he knew there was some insecurity behind that but he let it slide for now, “I might’ve been in denial, but I’m not a monster, aftercare is important and in my opinion it goes on into the morning as well” Buck put some eggs and bacon onto a plate and slide it in Twink’s direction on the island counter.
“Aftercare? Who are you and what have you done with Buck” Twink joked, starting to eat his food, he was quite surprised that Buck knew how to cook considering the fact that his apartment was filled with takeout containers, leftovers, microwave meals, and alcohol. “Anyway, Mary texted me, we have a meeting today, he says it’s important,” Buck said, ruffling Twink’s hair when he walked past him. “You’re lucky that I haven’t gotten ready yet, or else you would’ve been in a lot of trouble,” Buck made a noise of excitement “What kind of trouble” Twink scoffed playfully and slapped Buck on the ass, earning a slight yelp out of him.
“I should probably go wash this off my face, I look like I came straight out of a cheesy porno,” Twink handed Buck a pack of makeup wipes, he gratefully took them muttering a quiet ‘thank you’. Once the both of them were ready to leave the house, they got into Buck’s car due to leaving Twink’s at the gay bar, which they were going to have to go get after work later. When they pulled up to their base Buck took a deep breath and walked up to the room with Twink, their hands intertwined between them, they weren’t entirely sure what they were just yet but they knew that they were more than workers.
When the two entered the room, Buck’s heart sank and his blood went cold. He couldn’t feel his limbs, or any part of his body except his heart beating much faster than it should, which caused him not to be able to remove his hand from Twink’s.
“Buck, why are you holding hands with a gay?” Chunley, who had been standing in the middle of the room, questioned with a look of disgust plastered on his face. “I- uh-” Buck hadn’t been able to form words. Steve, Deb, and Stat all had apologetic looks on their faces.
“God damnit, I knew it was a bad idea sending you off with these queers, I actually thought you had potential for the AIA. For fucks sake, The amount of paperwork I’m going to have to do so no one will know you were class president or even a bigger part of this agency is going to take fucking forever,” Chunley stormed out of the room, Buck still not being able to move. The voices calling out to him felt so distant, it all happened too quickly. His only parental figure in life just left, basically disowned him. He could feel the tears start to roll down his cheeks.
He felt people start to slowly move him over to what felt like the couch, but he wasn’t sure of anything right now, his entire world just got flipped upside down. Part of him is scolding him for even feeling like this in the first place, he should’ve known he was going to leave, they all leave. “Buck? Can you hear me?” Buck was starting to focus back on reality, hearing his erm- Whatever Twink was to him, calling his name. “Mhm” Is all Buck could manage out, he felt something tossed around his back and someone cuddled up into the side of him.
“Let’s go get him some food and other things, Stat can you hang out with him while we’re gone?” Twink hesitated when Steve suggested they leave, after the very intimate night he and Buck had, he didn’t want to just leave him! but he knew Stat could take care of Buck, Twink trusted her. “Can you get some mountain dew while you’re out?” Stat picked up a remote and turned the tv on, at a low volume, preparing to binge-watch the newest season of cobblestones.
“Hey Buddy, you okay?” Stat asked, slightly nudging Buck. “No” Buck started to entirely break down, Stat moved Buck’s head onto their shoulder. “I know it hurts, let it all out” Stat gently patted Buck’s head. “It’s going to be alright” Surprisingly, Stat was good at comforting people.
“No, it isn’t, he was basically the only family I had” Stat looked at Buck “We’re your family now” If Buck hadn’t already cried out all the tears he had in his body, this would’ve made him ball his eyes out, instead he just laughed.
“Never in a million years did I think this is where I’d end up” Stat scooched into the blanket that Buck was under. The two friends didn’t say anything, due to the quiet being comfortable.
Buck knew he was loved no matter what, his new chosen family would love him unconditionally and that was enough for Buck. The two lay like that for around 20 minutes until people entered the room. “We’re back and we got shit!” Steve yelled out, startling Buck and Stat out of their half-asleep state.
"By shit, he means a stuffed animal, that I got for ya’, froot loops, popcorn, ice cream, and we’re going to watch whatever you want,” Twink hopped onto the couch and snuggled up beside Buck. Steve and Deb sat on the floor, Twink may have had a small figure but he was just so comfy, he was the perfect size to cuddle, and Twink loved Buck’s chest, it was soft but firm at the same time.
It was the next morning and somehow it was even worse, everything Chunley said sunk in, even if he didn’t say much it still hurt. But the crew was there for him no matter what. They all decided, under V’s approval, to take the day off. “Hey, how are you holding up?” Steve asked, gently rubbing Buck’s shoulder.
“I don’t know” Buck mumbled digging his face deeper into the blanket, the crew let him have the couch to himself, sleeping on the floor for one day wouldn’t kill them. “Well, if you need anything, don’t be afraid to ask. What you’re going through is very serious and we want to help you as much as possible” Buck sat up for the first time that morning, “I’ll be right back,’m hungry” The crew exchanged worried looks as Buck walked into the kitchen, “Should we leave him alone?” Steve whisper-asked. “I think he’ll be alright on his own for a few minutes” Deb whispered back.
“I can still hear you guys” Buck called out from the kitchen. “Hey Buck, would you be willing to have a session with Pam?” Deb asked, breaking the silence that fell onto the room. “Therapy has never worked for me, so no” The minute Buck sat back down, Twink had already been cuddling into his chest, rubbing gently up and down Buck’s arm. The group sat in silence until Steve spoke up, “So are we going to address the elephant in the room?” Buck groaned but eventually sat up. “Alright, what do you want to know?”
“Well, first of all, what are you guys? Are you an item? Friends with benefits?” Neither of them knew how to answer that, everything was still so new and they hadn’t talked about that yet. “We’re not sure what we are yet, but we do know that we’re happy with each other” Stat fake gagged at Twink’s statement. She wasn’t big on emotions, but she was happy that Twink found someone to appreciate him. Twink never had luck with dating, most people just wanted sex or took advantage of him. It was a known thing in the crew but no one ever brought it up unless Twink did.
Steve nodded, “Buck, what’re your intentions with Twink,” Stat asked, sitting in front of Buck with her arms crossed. “To make him happy” Buck answered, not hesitating. He meant it, Twink was perfect in his eyes, even with his ‘imperfections’(he hated that word), Buck wanted nothing more than to just give him the world. “You do know this is against so many AIA rules?” Everyone stared at Steve, “Mary, you are not the person to be saying that” Deb said, flicking Steve on the forehead. Buck chuckled, not that he’d admit it but Q-force was like his family, or at least what he considered his family.
A judgmental free, loving, and caring space. “Hey, if I didn’t go rogue, we wouldn’t have been where we are today!” Steve defended, or at least attempted to. “True, but still, it was a dumb move so don’t pull that shit ever again” Deb got up off the couch and headed towards the kitchen. “Cuddles” Buck mumbled, making grabby hands at Twink. Twink giggled, taking Buck into his arms. It was a little hard considering their body-type differences but they made do.“Is it okay if I think you guys are my family?” Buck asked in a hushed tone, slightly hoping no one would hear.
“Of course, Buck. Family doesn’t have to be biological, and I think it’s safe to say I speak for all of us when I say we’re honored to be part of your chosen family.” Steve said. Twink pressed a few kisses into Buck’s neck, running his fingers through Buck’s short hair. Buck let out a noise of contentment and joy, he was happy.
He had a family, a loving and caring family, one that wouldn’t treat him like shit. Buck felt himself get moved, “Sorry, just laying down,” Twink said, Steve helping the two get situated. “Thank you” Buck felt a blanket getting placed over Twink, who was laying on and nuzzling into Buck’s chest, and himself, mainly on Twink though. “You’re welcome, now sleep, we’ll be here when you wake up,” Steve said, taking his spot on the floor along with the others(who had blankets and pillows, brought by Deb). “Goodnight,” Buck said, not waiting for a response before letting the feeling of sleep consume him.
Bonus:
When Buck woke up, Twink was still asleep on his chest, a small smile fell onto Buck’s lips. Twink looked really fucking cute while he was sleeping, Buck slowly played with Twink’s hair.
“G’mornin’” Twink mumbled, still being half asleep. “Morning, beautiful” Buck placed a chaste kiss on Twink’s forehead. A noise that sounded like a muffled squeal came from Twink.
“I’m going to assume you like compliments?” Buck asked, teasingly, “Of course I do, I don’t do all of this for nothin’” Buck frowned “You shouldn’t do all of this for others, you should do it for you ” Twink was at a loss for words, so instead of saying something he snuggled his face into the crook of Buck’s neck. “You look beautiful, Twink, with or without makeup, I’ll still love you, don’t forget that” Twink raised his head enough to look into Buck’s eyes, with his own tear-filled eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Twink laughed as Buck wiped a few stray tears off his cheek, “I’m supposed to be the one comforting you right now” Buck left a gentle kiss on Twink’s lips, ignoring the tears that were now slowly streaming down Twink’s cheeks(his face cheeks lol). “We can comfort each other” Twink smiled and slowly put himself back into his original spot, with his face in the crook of Buck’s neck.
“I love you” Twink felt his heart flutter “I love you too” the two let sleep consume them once again. Sure, they did have things that they could’ve done but this was more important, making sure each other knew they were loved, no matter what they wear or look like. It was comforting to Buck to know Twink trusted him enough to let Buck see him without makeup, and they did have a little bit of talking ahead of him but isn’t that what a healthy relationship involves? Communication is in fact key, even if neither of them were used to it yet.