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1.
Uchiha Mikoto would always remember the day she first met Uzumaki Kushina; she was all fire and sizzle wrapped up in a pretty picture of glory. The carefree laughter, the conspicuous hair and the exuberant attitude; she was everything Mikoto had once wished to be.
But being the Clan Head's daughter was a curs blessing and '...you must always strive to be better Mikoto', her father's words resounded over and over again. 'The Uchiha are synonymous with greatness, and as my daughter, I expect only more than what you are destined to be.'
Unfortunately for her father, stubbornness was also an Uchiha trait. So Mikoto straightened her posture, softened her face and strode confidently towards the lonely (beautiful) girl.
And when their eyes met in a clash of black and blue, she knew there was no going back.
2.
Namikaze Minato was the only person Mikoto would approve of for her best friend. It had nothing to do with the fact that he had unapologetically decimated Fugaku in their spar when he had announced their betrothal (it did not!) or because he was the only person, apart from Kushina and Hizashi, in whose presence she felt safe, protected.
The truth though, was glaring at her right in the face and she knew she had to cherish these moments with her friends, family, because in less than a year, she would be a housewife - tending and nurturing and caring; and no one would know Uchiha Mikoto, (the Genjutsu Mistress, the sabotage specialist).
Instead, they would know Uchiha Mikoto, devoted wife to the esteemed Uchiha Clan Head (by marriage, of course, but with time people would forget that too).
Sometimes, the anguish would turn her eyes red and she'd drown in feelings too murky to articulate. No words would be exchanged but Minato would take her hands in his and Kushina would feed her dango and make jokes too pathetic to acknowledge.
For a while then, she would stop hurting; and for a while, she would wish to live in that moment forever.
3.
They were never meant to be.
Mikoto knew that, and so did Hizashi, but naive as they were, they still hoped to dream.
So in their dreams, they were free and together, laughing away at the cruelty of their respective Clan Elders and holding each other through the pain and tears.
They kissed and made love in the moonlight, naming their children and fighting over who was better at Taijutsu; and was that even a question because 'You know Mikoto, you are a damn strong woman, but we Hyuuga have been taught to skirt around the Uchiha since we could walk!'
It was a beautiful dream, and like everybody else, they learnt to wake up.
On their last day together, they talked about everything and nothing at the same time. From every reluctant stray thought to countless overzealous confessions; they made conversation till they could not.
When it was time to leave, Mikoto did not say 'I'd run away with you' because she knew she wouldn't.
Hizashi knew she would.
But it was still love, and somewhere along the way, both of them forgot to stop falling.
4.
She saw it happen. She felt it.
The Hokage Tower in ruins; the throes of the Kyuubi overwhelming the entire village, leaving behind nothing but ramshackled homes and lives.
The debris was flying everywhere, the cries, the shouts, the begging and.....the stillness.
What followed was a hallowing silence; and in the wake of her flowing mascara, scraped skin and bleeding eyes, bound by the Council Elders' orders to secure the civilians, she knew she would not get a chance to see her friends one more time.
Her valiant, moronic, self-sacrificing friends.
She turned away, ignoring the wails of misery around her (it was silent), walked back into the Clan Compound and wiped her tears. They stained the napkins black and red and her heart lurched and throbbed in agony once, before stilling its frenzy.
Later, when Itachi and Sasuke came home, they saw their mother patiently waiting for them with a resigned but relieved expression. She kissed their foreheads and welcomed them into her arms.
"Are you alright, Okaa-san?" Itachi asked quietly, finding reassurance in her gentle countenance.
"Of course." I am as dead as I can be.
Because she was only nine when she had first met Minato and Kushina, but she had loved them with a ferocity unlike any.
5.
She wondered what Hizashi would think of her now. At least he had the illusion of an honourable death.
But, she knew she didn't deserve that anyway. She was a failure and a tragedy waiting to happen. 'You are one of a kind Mikoto' but no she was not!
She knew it the way she knew her Sharingan; she was a coward and a cruel, cruel woman. Her godson Naruto would agree. Does he even know he has a godmother?
'Are you though?' Something would maliciously whisper in her ear, 'Kushina thought Sasuke and Naruto would grow up together, like brothers. Look at her son now....will they ever forgive a wicked woman like you!? You have no right....'
It was okay though. It was fine. She was beyond forgiveness. And she was leaving, yes...she would leave.
Still, what better way to go other than at the hands of her precious child?
Oh how they ruined him, her sweet, gentle Itachi; they tore his mind and killed his bubbling spirit, and all that kindness sucked out of him like a sponge being twisted brutally. He had not laughed in years, but perhaps some day in the the future.....
She could only wish.
A detached mother, a heartless lover and a selfish friend. What a perfect way to uphold the Uchiha name. 'Is this what you wanted Father? Look at the daughter you raised!'
But there was a sword in her chest and blood in her mouth and all she saw was an unending abyss.
No pain. No remorse.
Because how do you kill a person who's already dead?
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