Actions

Work Header

Upside Down Diplomacy

Summary:

Tiana von Riegan is the daughter of the archduke of the Leicester Alliance. She's been sent across the border, to Almyra, to hopefully reason with the people who have been raiding the mountain fortress. No one could predict what followed when fate dropped the handsome young Almyran king in her lap.

Fear the Deer. Face the King's Thunder.

Notes:

This was originally written with a T rating for friends who don't do smut. I have since added the director's cut smut in an extra chapter at the end.

Chapter 1: Crossing the Steppe

Chapter Text

Imperial Year 1160
Lone Moon
Day of the 23rd
Fodlan's Throat, Leicester/Almyra border

"General Tiana, we can't hold out much longer!"

"Dammit!"

Lord Ordelia always told it like it was. He wasn't good at boosting morale, as far as the general could see, but honestly? Right now that covered it. Dammit was right. The Almyrans had them outnumbered.

"Where is the enemy general?" Tiana pulled a Leicester soldier aside. The soldier gave her an "I don't know" shrug before returning to the fray.

An Almyran cavalier charged her. She pulled back on the reins of her own horse, calling upon the crest in her blood for an extra boost. The Almyran reacted like she was a tree that just exploded, and his horse spooked as well. Lady Ordelia took that opportunity to attack him as he fled. The burst of fire magic exploded on impact. That man was dead now.

"I saw his reaction." Avril moved her steed beside Tiana's. "You could use that crest to give us an advantage in a few different ways."

"Honestly, I'm with Justin. Dammit. This has to end now."

A gray wyvern zipped past, close enough that Tiana could get a good look at the rider. The man was wearing a cloth tunic under his armor, but on his pectoral armor was an ornate patch. An ornate patch, indicating that he may be in charge here. He was moving fast, but not too fast that the scion of House Riegan couldn't scope him out.

She began to pursue him. When she had an opening, she positioned herself in his path. "Does anyone here speak Common?! I am the leader of this army, and I call a temporary truce!" Activating her crest again for extra oomph, she also raised the flag of the Leicester Alliance as the faint glow surrounded her body. As expected, the Almyran general stopped in his tracks. Tiana dropped her weapons in front of him. "Truce!"

The general responded by also dropping his weapon. He spoke a sentence in Almyran, followed by speaking in Common. "I speak Common." He landed his wyvern and stepped out of the saddle.

The armies still scuffled for a short time before stopping and staring each other down. The Almyran general wasn't wearing a helmet. He had very messy and shaggy brown hair with yellow eyes. He was a big man, but right now he had a neutral expression. He wasn't scary.

"Well?" He prodded.

"Truce," She repeated. "Temporary as of now. Do you know what temporary means?"

"Oh yes, that's what my mother used to have when I didn't follow her rules."

She rolled her eyes at him. "It means for now, we are at a truce." Goddess above, if he misinterpreted truce...then she would have to have a temper.

He nodded. "Alright." He got back on his wyvern and commanded his remaining troops to follow him.

"Almyran general," Avril spoke as he passed her. "I am Lady Avril of House Ordelia of the Leicester Alliance. My husband is Lord Justin. Our commander is-"

"We will exchange names to my liege." The general said. "And your commander will be the first to give hers. Her with the flash bang boom glow. But she better not do that to his majesty or else the truce is off." He turned to Tiana and stared at her during the last sentence.

What the hell was that? Was that one of the crests from the mainland? Gods. His majesty is going to shit a brick. The general thought to himself. First mainland person with a crest we don't kill and she's a lady commander. And she wants a truce. Gods, this is weirder than my dreams after I go drinking.

It was close to springtime, and while frigid winds from the north were still rolling down in mainland Fodlan, the border between Leicester and Almyra remained warm year round. However, that didn't mean the Almyrans had a food surplus. Crops could only grow well for six months a year in spring and summer. Outside of those times, produce stored in the clay structures known as yahkchals were rationed, and wild poultry and red meat was harvested with the exception of elk from the forests in the east, as those were a protected, sacred species. The hungry season was coming to an end. General Nader had intended to make off with some crates of fruit and vegetables for the last time this season. The Leicesterians always defended their fortress, but never had they tried to get their produce crates back, and never before had they had a commander who actually spoke to him.

The Ordelias rode on each side of Tiana, who kept steady pace with the Almyran general flying only slightly above her. Behind them, the remaining troops from both sides followed, some reluctantly, but all holding their promise to their commanders. An Almyran soldier broke formation once to throw a javelin at a wild pig and felled it with a hit. The Leicester soldiers who were nearest to her hadn't even seen the pig. She took a hunting horn out of her pack and alerted the general, who swooped down and they butchered it right there and put it in a meat sack, which was then carried by the general. "Food for later," he announced. "We are approaching the Kumalar Plains, and our destination is what you would call the Shady Oasis Outpost. And then we won't find a lot of meat for miles."

"Oasis?" Avril wondered out loud. "Those are in deserts."

"I hope for the goddess' sake that's just a fancy outpost name." Justin grumbled.

"He said plains, but he also said not a lot of wild game." Tiana said. "I would be prepared for some rough travel."

"Anyone else think that huntress isn't bad looking?" One of the Leicester cavaliers quipped.

"I didn't look at her that much." Justin said. "And I am a married man."

"Get back in formation." Tiana ordered.

The cavalier saluted. "Yes ma'am."

 

Imperial Year 1160
Lone Moon
Night of the 23rd
Shady Oasis Outpost, Kumalar Plains, Almyra

Soon, the Kumalar Plains came into view: a treeless, rough terrained, parched area. It was evening now, and the sun was beginning to descend. Just when the Leicester soldiers thought they were seeing a mirage, the Almyran general announced they had arrived at the outpost. The outpost was a "humble little thing" according to him, but the large clay building that looked like a seashell was very noticeable. He said it was a yahkchal, and it was used to store food.

Tiana and the Ordelias hitched their horses to the poles. "Stay right here." The general told them. "His Majesty is near. You will explain to him why you followed me and the situation of the truce. Help yourselves to the vendors."

"We need water." Justin said.

The general scratched his chin. "You may have water for free. There's a well and an outhouse. They are not the same thing. Do not get them mixed up." He beckoned the hunter from before over and spoke to her in Almyran. She bowed to him, and the pig was removed from the meat sack and placed on a spit roaster by the woman and a man who appeared to be her brother. The brother also brought over a bucket from the well and several canteens. "Salma and Salim have been given their orders." The general said, blinking when he realized he'd given out names. "Ah, gods. Well, I suppose. My name is Nader. Justin, Avril, and?"

"Tiana." Tiana accepted a canteen from Salim.

"You are a strange woman. Gutsy. And strange." Nader mumbled in Almyran. He turned and made his way to the barracks.

Shady Oasis was aptly named. There were actually trees here, when there hadn't been since late morning and the beginning of the trek. And they indeed provided shade. The pig was roasting in the pit and it looked like Salma and Salim would offer some of it to their guests. It was almost too awkward, considering the two armies had been clashing that morning.

"General." Avril's tone was laced with concern. "This is strange. I don't feel like they're trapping us, but..."

"They're a proud warrior culture." Tiana took a drink of water. "If anything, they're listening to their general. If he comes back to a big brouhaha, his troops are going to be in deep trouble. Even if it was us who started it. I don't want that."

"You could take him though." Justin said. "You saw how he reacted to your crest."

Tiana shrugged. "Possibly."

"I'd use mine if I had one." Avril admitted. "I'm close but no cigar."

"Carrier of the crest of Charon is still enough for our son to inherit it."

Avril gave her husband a quick nuzzle. "Ah, yes, Lear! I miss him already." The Ordelias' son was a year old and in the care of the maids and butlers.

Tiana smiled. "Lear is a good baby. You know, we could take something home to him if we manage to get a friendlier relationship going with Almyra. They have to have some kind of cute gift for a small toddler."

"May be wishful thinking." Justin scoffed.

Salim and Salma suddenly erupted in laughter, which caused all three to tense and turn in the direction of the sound. They were sitting with their comrades and clearly somebody had told a funny joke. They began to speak to each other between chuckles and friendly gestures. Tiana listened to them. They didn't appear to be talking badly about her and her people, they just appeared to be having a good time with each other.

She thought back to her academy days. The teachers had drilled into her head that only citizens of mainland Fodlan were good, honest people. After all, the Goddess had blessed them personally. Almyrans were said to be vicious and untrustworthy. While she never believed that completely, they had been raiding Fodlan's Locket.

And now, watching these people, she was starting to question what she had been taught. The general, now known as Nader, was definitely open to conversation.

Nader returned after some time. "He approved an audience. Tiana, Avril, and Justin. Leave your weapons behind and agree to have your magic silenced temporarily. Or it's a no go."

Justin made a whiny noise and Avril elbowed him hard.

Tiana placed her bow and arrows in the basket. An Almyran shaman rubbed anti magic balm on the tops of the Ordelias' dominant casting hands. Justin also placed a shortsword in the basket, and Avril placed the two fire tomes the couple had. Tiana wondered if they were going to seal her Crest of Riegan. Nader didn't say anything of the sort. Was it even possible to seal a crest?

She might need it if things went sour anyway.

 

Imperial Year 1160
Lone Moon
Night of the 23rd
Shady Oasis Outpost Barracks, Kumalar Plains, Almyra

The king had his own personal barrack, or at least, he always got the biggest and fanciest one. Silk curtains lined the windows. The bed was trimmed with brass, the bedsheets were satin, and the pillows were fluffy and velvety. An exotic house plant was potted next to the window. There was a walk in closet and a private garderobe. There was a kitchen to the side, where a chef was chopping meat and peppers to roll into a flatbread wrap. The chef raised his eyebrow and huffed at the guests before returning to his work. Nader spoke to him in Almyran, appearing to remind him the guests had been welcomed. The chef shrugged and ignored them to focus on his work.

The Almyran king wasn't in his chair, nor was he in his bed, or the closet, or the garderobe. His head slowly descended from the rafters, followed by his shoulders, his arms, torso, and then he let go with his legs and landed on his feet gracefully. Nader immediately spoke to him in their native language. "Boran, by all that is good and holy, one of these days you're not going to land that."

The king dusted off his pant legs. "These Leicesterians need to be kept on their toes."

Nader put his forehead in his palm.

"I heard 'Leicesterians'." Tiana said.

"Right you did, lady," the king said, this time in Common. His voice was almost smooth as silk and while he had the same accent as Nader, the Leicesterians understood every word.

Nader was bulkier, but king and liege were the same height. Both were tanned, with brown hair and golden yellow eyes. Nader's hair was a slightly lighter shade of brown than his king's, short, yet shaggy, and he had a small beard. The king had dark brown curls and chinstrap sideburns.

Avril and Justin stood on both sides of Tiana. Justin began eying the chef, particularly his knives. The chef either purposely ignored him or didn't notice.

"This is His Majesty," Nader announced in Common. "Boran Kralsah, the Thunder King of Almyra." Lowering his voice to a mumble directed to Tiana, he added: "And the entrance he chose to have is perhaps too much thunder today."

"He's younger than I expected." Tiana observed.

"Well, lady, I didn't count on my old man deciding to leave the world of the living when I was eighteen. I hear his father did that when he was even younger. But I'm fit as a fiddle, I should be here for a long time." The king winked.

"Milord..." Nader prodded.

Boran clapped his hands. "Yes. I have a decree. You, Lady Flash Bang."

Avril glared. "Her name is Tiana."

"Tiana with the flash bang and the manner and colors of a tricky vixen." Boran gestured to Tiana with an outstretched palm as if he were presenting her. "Show me what you showed my general. Show me that crest."

"Why?" Tiana asked.

"Show me the crest." Boran demanded.

Tiana blinked and obliged. Her eyes flashed, a glow surrounded her, and a crescent moon shaped sigil flashed above her head for a second.

Boran reacted like a child watching a bonfire. "Yes! That was fantastic! That was all I wanted to see before bed. Help yourselves to the barracks. Sleep here. Tomorrow I will have the next item on the agenda." He gestured wildly. "Nader, my good man, give our guests a room with two beds. Two of them are a married couple, correct?"

Justin stepped in front of Avril and prepared to steal the knife from the chef.

"Oh, the rest of their troops can sleep as well. They may have to also share rooms with each other. But these three, I like them."

"You're generous," Tiana said. "But I hope tomorrow's meeting is for more than just your amusement."

"I have made my decree. You are dismissed." The king took the flatbread wrap from the chef, then walked into his closet and shut the door.

 

Imperial Year 1160
Lone Moon
Morning of the 24th
Shady Oasis Outpost Barracks, Kumalar Plains, Almyra

"General."

There was a series of knocks in a familiar sequence at the door. Nader was awake, but he wasn't up.

"General." The voice and knocks sounded again. "Are you decent?"

Nader exhaled. "I am not wearing pants. I am still in bed. Does that count as 'decent' to you, Nazeem?"

"Well, sir, if you want the scoop involving our guests, throw a robe on and let me in."

Nazeem was the shaman from the night before. He was a senior aged man with short black hair and fire orange eyes. He was still serving as a military mage and hadn't stated when he wanted to retire. He'd served the previous king for roughly five years before he died and Boran took the throne. On the day of that coronation, thunder rumbled in the distance, but no rain fell. It had been Nazeem who had come up with the title Thunder King when the priests said they had heard the voices of the gods.

Nader opened the door wearing a robe. "Yes? What is it?"

Nazeem let himself in. He was holding a makeshift book held together with string. "First of all, I overheard our guests quarreling last night. The leader lady kept telling the man to go to bed, or at least I assume, you know I'm not fluent in Common. He kept refusing, I figure. His wife sounded like she was getting increasingly annoyed. Finally I heard silence. Curiosity got the better of me, so I waited thirty minutes and peeked at them. The leader lady was asleep facing the other two, and the man was curled around his wife, both also asleep. They reminded me of my wife and I when I was their age."

Nader nodded. "Go on. What's the book?"

Nazeem sat the book down on the bedside table. "General, you know I have a very visual memory. And you know I've been in the army for a long time. And you know we have Miss Flash Bang in our barracks right now. Every time I saw a 'crest', as they call it, I sketched the sigil in this book. I also wrote down any other effects I saw. Also, remember that crate that just had papers with Common writing in it we took from the fortress last year?"

Nader nodded.

"A lot of them were useless." Nazeem continued. "Grocery lists. Correspondence. Lovers' correspondence. His Majesty even said some of that was of more of a saucy nature. Some of it was lovesick young Leicester soldiers missing their sweethearts and sealing the letters with a kiss. But! Some of it was quite useful and interesting. Some of it was information on the crests. They believe that a goddess gave them to their ancestors. Each one enhances abilities. Strength, speed, endurance, magic capability. There may be more examples. Furthermore, there are things known as heroes' relics that are only to be used by individuals with a crest. They appear to be weapons of some sort."

Nader looked at the book. "Is there a sigil that looks like the moon?"

Nazeem scratched his head. "Not sure. You can look."

Nader flipped through the book. One sigil resembled the horns of a ram or bull. One looked like a rosebud with thorns. One looked like a puncture wound. Finally, on the very last filled in page, was a sigil that resembled a crescent moon.

"Aha." Nader pointed at the sigil. "This is the one she has. Clear as day, I saw this sigil."

“Ah.” Nazeem said. “Well, His Majesty will announce his decision after breakfast by the yahkchal. He’s asked me to tell you and make sure our three guests are there.”

“And the rest of them?”

“They’re going home. He only wants those three. He’s having someone escort them back to the border.”

“What is he planning, Nazeem?” Nader prodded.

Nazeem broke into a surprisingly youthful smirk. “Well, just be awake and alert when you get there.”

 

Imperial Year 1160
Lone Moon
Morning of the 24th
Shady Oasis Outpost, Kumalar Plains, Almyra

“Justin, you can stop acting like you’re compensating for something for five minutes.” Tiana crossed her arms and glared. Lord Ordelia was a full head taller than her, a lanky beanpole with fuchsia hair and brown eyes. His bachelor name had been Capulet. Normally the bride would take the husband’s surname, but with a female head of a noble house marrying the son of a prominent mage in the Ordelia territory military, it was the reverse.

The noble houses, and many others, sent their children to the Officer’s Academy at Garreg Mach. Tiana’s former classmates included the Ordelias, Erwin Gloucester, and Curtis and Susanna Goneril. The Ordelias were academy sweethearts. Erwin's family was the second highest ranked in the Leicester Alliance, and Tiana frankly saw him as a bit of a prick. Susanna, whose maiden name had been Tyrrel, was an intelligent woman, but even she tended to just believe the information she was spoonfed. Her husband Curtis was strongly opinionated and very set in the belief that he was always right. Tiana was closest to the Ordelias, and she had even been a bridesmaid at their wedding. They welcomed their son roughly a year later.

“Yeah, honey, you might want to drop this act.” Avril agreed. “It’s not scaring them and it’s just funny to us.”

Tiana leaned against the yahkchal. “What kind of food do you guys think they have in this thing? Should we try to find a way in?”

Justin shrugged. “Right, subject change…I wonder if we’ll recognize any of our food in there. Maybe we’ll find that giant pumpkin Susanna was so devastated to lose chopped up in jars.”

“If they wanted a pumpkin, they should bake it into pies.” Avril said.

“Are you sure they’d make off with that big honking thing?” Tiana chuckled. “Are you sure they even know pumpkins are good for pies?”

“Susanna and Curtis said they took it, if you want to believe them.” Justin said. “Erwin just made comments about chaining the damn thing up next time.”

Tiana started to laugh, but noticed the Almyran king approaching and switched to her serious face.

“Good morning, guests.” Boran greeted. “Sleep well? No cockroaches in the room?” Awkward silence. “Ah, I haven’t seen any of those around either, but sometimes we get stinkbugs. Nasty little things.”

“You’re sending everyone but us home.” Tiana said. “You have a plan, so tell us.”

“The truce is reasonable. BUT! You Leicesterians don’t know a lot of things about a lot of things. It’s not as simple as me commanding that the raids stop. If you want respect, you show us why you deserve respect. And what do you think commands respect here?”

“Hunting and gathering?” Tiana guessed.

Nader walked past leading two horses. One of them was Tiana’s.

“That’s one thing,” Boran continued. “But it’s not the biggest. The best way to get respect in Almyra is to show your strength to a leader. Lady Tiana, you are to joust my general on horseback. If you knock him off, you win. Meanwhile, I’m in a boxing mood, and your man friend has looked like he wanted to fight me ever since he arrived.”

“And me?” Avril couldn’t hide the nervousness in her tone.

“Sit back and enjoy the show.” Boran smiled and beckoned for the three to follow him.

 

Imperial Year 1160
Lone Moon
Morning of the 24th
Jousting Field, Kumalar Plains, Almyra

The king had led his guests to an empty field and set up some chairs on the sidelines. Tiana and Nader both had practice lances, and were mounted on their horses separated by a low barrier running down the center of the field.

At Boran’s “Go!” the first joust began. Nader moved as fast on a horse as he did on a wyvern, and Tiana wondered what it would be like to fly for a second before getting her head back in the game. Her lance dug itself into his shoulder and his nearly grazed her cheek. His horse neighed, and they passed each other.

Tiana could tell this horse wasn’t Nader’s usual steed. It appeared to be a mare, like her own Charlotte, but she wasn’t used to him. Charlotte had been Tiana’s horse for years.

On the second joust, his lance hit the middle of her chest and she struggled to stay up. He zipped past her before she could get a hit in. His horse whinnied and shook her mane.

On the third joust, Tiana had a strategy. She aimed her lance directly at the front of him and led Charlotte into a full gallop. He lost his grip on impact and fell off the horse.

Justin whooped and Avril clapped.

Tiana patted Charlotte and dismounted. Nader was lying there with a blank expression. “I didn’t see a crest,” he said.

“I didn’t use it,” she replied.

The other horse snorted and swished her tail.

“That was a win for the lady.” Boran walked over and helped Nader up. “Boxing now.”

“Sir.” Tiana demanded. “How are you keeping score?”

Boran waved her off. “You’ll see. Don’t worry.”

Avril patted her husband’s hand. “You can do it. Show him what you’re made of.” Justin stood up and strolled confidently to the patch of grass that the king was beckoning him to.

The king removed his shirt and took a roll of gauze out of his pants pocket. Justin audibly gasped, Tiana stared, and Avril looked away.

“It’s to make sure we’re both armored equally. Take your shirt off. Wrap your fists.” Boran commanded.

Once the Ordelia lord had complied, Nader walked over with a bell and stopwatch. “Three rounds. Three minutes each.” He wound the stopwatch and rang the bell. “Go.”

Justin immediately aimed an overhead bash, which connected with Boran’s shoulder. Boran strafed around him and landed two quick jabs. Justin swiped again, but missed.

Round one ended.

In round two, Boran came out with a wide hook, which was blocked and returned with a body blow that hit him in the belly. Avril and Tiana both clapped.

Round two ended.

The final round began with both opponents rushing at each other. Justin aimed another high hook, landed it, and Boran landed a low hook followed by a grapple, which was followed by knocking Justin down on his back and socking him in the nose multiple times before the time ran out. Boran sprung to his feet at the bell. “That’s a win for me.”

“I may not know full boxing rules,” Tiana fumed, “But I’m positive grappling isn’t allowed. This isn’t wrestling.”

“Grappling is only allowed in the third round.” Nader said.

“No it’s not!” Justin sat up and beckoned for Avril to bring him his shirt. He wiped his nose on it.

“It is in Almyran rules. I forgot to ask if your boxing rules were different. If he wants he may have a rematch after lunch.” Boran offered.

“I’ll just take the loss.” Justin grumbled.

Boran turned to Tiana. “You won one and lost one, but respect has been earned. But now I have a new decree. You still have much to learn and see about Almyran culture and why we do what we do. I will offer sanction for the rest of the year, in which you will be guided by Nader at our events and day to day life. At the end of the year, if you have proved yourself worthy, I will sign treaties or whatever you wish me to do.”

Tiana thought of how things were back home. The high expectations. The drama in the council. The gossip. The strict rules and regulations. These past two days had been the most interesting days she’d had in a long time. And if she got the Almyrans to be more friendly, that would up her social standing as well.

She turned to the Ordelias. “My dear friends and allies. I would like to take him up on his offer. As your commander, that’s an order to accompany me.”

She turned back to the Almyran Thunder King, of whom she wasn’t sure what she expected, but she certainly didn’t expect the chaotic son of a bitch standing in front of her putting his shirt back on. “It’s a deal.”

She offered her hand, wondering for a moment if he’d shake it or if his culture had a different gesture. He shook it.