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Hi! I'm Lark and I'm The World's Greatest Fae Barista! My dream was to be a thief and one day steal the hearts of everyone in the world so that I could keep them close and cherish them, but I ended up moving to New Chicago to work as a barista and, well... Life has a funny way of working out sometimes. I found my passion in coffee and for a while, that's all I ever thought I needed... Until HE came into my life.
It was a day like any other, I had just finished closing up The Celestial Stag for the evening, diligently sweeping off the balcony to prepare for the next day. The sun poured its syrup golden rays across the wood-stained railing as I set aside my broom, lifting my six-shot Mocha, whole milk latte, with no foam and whip cream to my mouth. The burnt aroma of espresso tingled the back of my brain as I stared out longingly into the street, it occurred to me that this twilight scene had been burned into my mind many times over. It was another day in a series of days just like it, an endless voyage through the comfortable melancholy of life. As I gazed broodingly out into the sunset, a sound crept its way into my ears, the roar of a savage beast approaching in the distance. No. That wasn't a creature, it was the alluring grind of metal on metal, the titillating sound of an engine powering its way towards me. There was a single moment before the red blur came into view, where time seemed to stop- almost before I could see the car, I knew what he would look like as if he were so fast the image of him somehow blurred ahead of time. His red, glossy paint shone in the dying light of the day, accentuating the sky blue of his perfectly set windshield eyes- as rhinestones cut into the alabaster of gods canvas.
In a flash, he was gone and I was left staring, mouth agape as my latte poured out onto my freshly cleaned balcony.
As if in a haze, I muttered to myself; "...Ninety-five..." I was snapped violently from my musings by the sound of liquid hitting the ground and the feeling of two hands gripping my shoulders, almost massaging me. Before the sound of his voice reached my ears, I knew who it was. He had always struggled with the concept of personal space and frequently struck others as off-putting, but I'd known him since grade school and I couldn't find it within myself to completely cut him off.
"HmmsssSSooooo. Whaaaat's...Gotyouso FOCUSED?!" He asked me, as he continued to rub my shoulders. The white paint that coated his face cracked, as he smiled at me. I had never seen him without the make-up he wore daily, in a sort of facsimile of a clown- though noticeably messier, with running lines around the black pits of his eyes and the crayon red of his smile.
With the suggestion of a shrug from me, he pulled his hands away, taking two slow, loping steps backward. As he moved, he kept his hands in the air above his shoulders, almost a surrendering posture as if to apologize for having invaded my space. This was the way our dynamic frequently played out.
"Ah... Nothing." Was all I could manage as I stared down the street towards where the car had sped off.
"Aaaaaaaah, Don't don't don't... DON'T give me that." The Joker, he insisted people use The before his self-appointed name, replied. He had always been able to see into my core, despite his many flaws and he often helped me reach my true thoughts.
"Tell me what you're thinking Larky, canicallyoularky?" We both knew he'd continue calling me Larky, as he'd done for the last decade.
"Ugh, alright. It's impossible to hide anything from you anyway. I'm, well... It's. The thing is, a car just passed here and I didn't get a good look at him, but somehow I felt like a part of me departed with him. Like we were matching magnetic forces, our attraction becoming more powerful the closer he got, pulling me towards him- then he was gone. Just like that."
In an uncharacteristic turn, The Joker stood pondering silently as he searched my face. "What um... What did this uh, CAR, it was a car you said, right? What did this uh... CAR look like?" For a moment, he almost seemed... Afraid? Or at least concerned.
"Well, I didn't get a good look at him. I DID see that he was red and I think he may have had a ninety-five tattoo on his side? And the sapphire shine of his eyes was so-" Abruptly, The Joker cut in.
"Did you say NINETY-FIVE? Like a NINE followed by a FIVE? LIKE THE NUMBERS NINE AND FIVE SEQUENTIALLY?!" As he spoke, his voice grew louder, rasping with the frantic cadence he was adopting. This wasn't uncommon for him, The Joker had always been... Theatrical in the way he spoke, so I wasn't sure what to make of his reaction.
"Uh... Yeah?"
"WOW. You've really put yourself in deep this time Batma-uh, Lark. Yeah. YEAH. I get it now, you saw Lightning." He said, beginning to move back towards me.
"No, I'm PRETTY sure I saw a car." I replied.
"Nononono my friend, you didn't see A car. You saw THE car. Lightning McQueen." At this point he had moved well into my space again, leaning into me so that I was bent slightly back, our faces inches apart. I could smell the Dorito's Locos Taco wisping its way from between his orange-stained teeth. "Yooooouuu, you don't want to get wrapped up with him. He's baaaAAAaad news, yeah. REAL bad. Last I heard, he was Weezer's car. And Weezer? Weezer don't share nice."
That night I found myself tossing and turning in my bed, my forehead slick with sweat. Sleep had abandoned me hours ago and it was all I could do not to imagine Lightning's glossy sheen in my mind. A nagging, wild spur burrowed deep into my heart and I knew what was coming. It was stupid, crazy even to consider it, but I watched myself distantly as I put my shoes on. He was meant to be mine and I wouldn't let anything stop me, not even Weezer. I wasn't sure what it was that I planned to do, I knew I didn't have a chance against someone like him. Still, my feet continued to pound against the concrete as I ran ceaselessly towards Weezer's place.
By the time I arrived, my breath has already fled my body. Standing there, panting, I was suddenly aware of how insane this was. I mean, what was I going to do? Rush into Carl's garage and beg Lightning to come with me? To let me be a part of him? Inside him? My mind was racing almost as fast as my heart when I heard the wispy voice of Carl calling out into the yard where I stood.
"Haaaaaw, like, what do you think you're doing in my yard?" Those words froze me solid, even my heavy panting stopped as I stared, dread-eyed towards the door. It had opened and closed without my knowing, deathly silent. Standing near the doorstep, but all too close to me, was the round shape of Carl Weezer. He seemed almost at ease, one hand at his side casually, as the other reached up to adjust his glasses. Every inch of him oozed lethal energy and I was stricken by the image of a cobra staring down a field mouse.
My mouth, thick with saliva and fear, finally slurred out; "I uh, I'm..."
"Well, speak up barista. I haaaaw, don't have all night." Ice cold the words left his lips and I knew what he meant. He didn't want an answer, he only wanted to watch me squirm beneath the boot of his presence before taking me out.
If I was going to die here, I would die proudly declaring my love for the one that mattered, my McQueen. With a final intake of breath, I expanded my chest cavity, leaning back to take in as much air as I could before belting at the top of my lungs; "I'M HERE FOR MY MCQUEEN. I LOVE HIM AND I ALWAYS HAVE." We both stared at each other for a moment, the air tightly wound around us like an oppressive blanket. He stared at me dispassionately as I began to deflate. I could feel the look of surprise on my face, realizing what I'd just said. Smoothly, like oil sliding on the water, he began to move towards me. I knew this was the end, my final moments on this Earth, but at least I could leave it knowing I had declared my love. I took one last look at the moon, nestled against the bosom of the sky, and closed my eyes before the blow could reach me.
Then, like a thunderclap, I heard the sound of metal peeling apart. Opening my eyes, I could just make out the flash of red tearing through the thin steel of the garage door, his rims flashing mithril in the moonlight. Carl barely had time to register what was happening as the red hunk drifted across the lawn towards us, tearing grass and dirt away in his semi-circle arc. Just as I was certain the beautiful red steel wall would be my final sight, the door whipped open and I was cast into the seat by the force of all of Lightning bearing down on me. The door slammed closed and I could see through the windshield, through my precious Lightning's eyes, a stunned Carl Weezer staring dumbly forward while we did donuts around him.
Lighting looked inward towards me, I felt it more than saw it; "Hey barista, you ready to kercheese it outta here?" I nodded slowly, numb from the surge of action. With a deafening explosion of sound, Lightning's red hot engine burned to life and he sped onto the road. I looked into the rearview mirror for just a moment to see Carl's closest friend and neighbor, Napolean Bonaparte ride over on his white steed, obviously asking Carl what had happened. He turned towards us and Napoleon Bonaparte watched in horror.
The rest is history. Lightning explained to me that he had always been watching me, finding excuses to drive by the coffee shop, parking nearby, or just catching glimpses of me on my trips to work. He didn't have the courage to ask me out, because he wasn't sure a car and a fae could find love together. I was shocked, but so deeply relieved. We made sweet love that night and were together for the rest of our eternal lives.