Chapter Text
“Heat’s finished.”
San opened his eyes quickly, turning to look.
Yunho stood in the doorway, looking tired but satisfied. He offered San a small smile. “Everyone’s cycles are over.”
Oh, thank god.
San breathed out in relief, getting up from his bed. He stretched, blankets pooling around his lap before he asked, “How do you feel?”
“Great,” Yunho said, sounding honest. “I feel great.”
He must have been. San couldn’t relate, of course.
“That’s good,” San said, careful not to sound longing. He climbed down slowly under Yunho’s watchful eyes—though the alpha’s rut was over, he’d likely be protective for another day or two—and joined him at the doorway.
“You’re wearing my hoodie,” Yunho said, tugging at the hem of said hoodie.
San snorted. “Well, you guys always make me wear your clothes during your cycles. I practically don’t have a choice.”
“Sorry,” Yunho said, not sounding very sorry.
San grinned. “It’s fine. Breakfast?”
Yunho inclined his head.
They walked outside. Everyone was already gathered around the dining table, San saw. They’d probably come out from the pack room together and then remembered to fetch him as well.
“Hey,” he said, dropping down between Wooyoung and Mingi. “How are you guys?”
“Wonderful,” Wooyoung said emphatically.
At the same time, Hongjoong-hyung piped up. “I can’t sit. Wooyoungie destroyed my hips,” he groused.
San laughed at their pack alpha. He’d seen enough from his brief glimpses into the pack room, the separate room with a bed that all of them could fit on, during their cycles to know that the pack didn’t exactly follow normal convention, what with omegas taking and alphas giving. These alphas and omegas did as they liked, when they liked.
Of course, not like San would have much experience. He was a beta, and they’d never asked him to join during their cycles. But he’d seen.
And tried not to see, because the feelings he got from those small flashes were…not something he wanted the pack to find out about.
“And how are you?” Seonghwa-hyung asked.
“Tired,” San said, sighing. It had been a long few days.
“Shouldn’t we be the ones saying that? We were the ones doing non-stop cardio for a week,” Mingi said, laughing at his own joke. San could still smell him. The alpha’s heavy scent usually lingered for the longest post-cycle. As opposed to Jongho. Most days, San could hardly smell the young alpha.
Seonghwa-hyung clicked his tongue. “Hush. Sannie worked at well. He packed all this lovely breakfast for us. Thank you, San-ah.”
San shrugged awkwardly. “It was nothing.”
It really was nothing. He’d gotten used to it, once they’d been living together in their dorm for a while. The others’ heat and rut cycles had naturally synced up, and they’d gotten permission from the company to get off suppressants and spend it together.
San, being a beta, couldn’t. He had planned, at first, to just spend his private time moping, but he’d quickly realized that there was far too much work to be done while his groupmates were incapacitated.
Doing all the cleaning and laundry and cooking wasn’t the hard part of it all. He could handle that for a little under a week every three months.
The hard part was taking care of the others, going in every once in a while to make sure that no biting was taking place, that everyone was safe and happy, making sure they ate and bathed…those were all things he could do, and should do, as the only beta in ATEEZ.
But he had to go in, and he had to see their sweaty, writhing, naked bodies pushing and pulling into each other, their moans—the room was soundproof, so he was safe when he was outside, but not in there—
And their scents. With a beta nose, he couldn’t smell much regularly, but during their cycles everything was heightened enough that even he could see how their scents mixed and mingled in the most beautiful harmony San had ever seen.
It was torture.
Every heat, San spent a few days trying to stave off his growing arousal before breaking, finally, taking care of it in his bathroom far away from the others.
The guilt killed him every time, because what would they think of him, getting aroused by them even though they’d never once asked him to be part of their cycles? They didn’t want him there, and San understood, of course, he was a beta, after all. So how disgusted would they be to find out how his body reacted to them?
He was glad when conversation picked up again. They didn’t discuss what they did in detail around him, perhaps wanting to keep those specifics away from his ears. San wouldn’t blame them. And he didn’t want to hear too much either. It never ended well for him.
After eating, they dispersed, half of the group heading to nap. San was glad they were on vacation—the cycles took a toll on his groupmates’ bodies, and he knew that it was hard on them to have to go to dance practice or recordings or promotions immediately after.
But they were on a break, so they could rest. It was nice.
San himself stretched out on the couch. He wouldn’t mind sleeping some more, with the low volume of whatever Jongho and Yeosang were watching on the TV a buzz in his head, the alpha and omega’s scents already near-indiscernible for him.
A weight settled beside him.
San opened his eyes lazily to see Wooyoung’s face just inches away from him.
He yelped, hitting his head against the plush back of the sofa.
Wooyoung snickered. “Scared you.”
San rolled his eyes, shifting naturally so that Wooyoung could sleep beside him, his own body pressed to the sofa now and Wooyoung on the outside edge. “Yes, yes, you got me.”
Wooyoung smiled smugly before yawning, turning onto his back. “I’m so glad that’s over.”
“You’re not in any pain, right?” San asked. The omegas were off suppressants, so they didn’t have much severe cramping, not anymore—at least, that was what they said—but he always thought it wise to ask.
Wooyoung’s lips turned up a bit. “No. I feel good. Thank you, though. You’re sweet.”
San turned his face, hiding his blush in the sofa cushions.
Wooyoung wriggled, and their wrists brushed together. San almost stopped breathing—but the very next instant, Wooyoung was pulling his hand away quickly. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” San said, trying to control his disappointment. Why would Wooyoung want to scent his beta not-quite-packmate anyway?
“We must have bothered you a lot,” Wooyoung said. “What with the scenting and all.”
San shook his head. “It’s fine.” Of course, ordinarily he wasn’t much part of the pack. But he’d lived with them for so long, the alphas and omegas probably saw him as an honorary pack member or something.
During their cycles, their instincts increased, possessiveness along with it, even over betas. San tried to avoid touching them, all naked and wet, but they always managed to pull him in and scent him all over, wrap him in their scents before letting him head back outside.
They would even force them to wear their clothes, and over time San had gotten into the habit of pulling on bits and pieces over the days—Seonghwa-hyung’s sock, the other sock Mingi’s, Yunho’s hoodies, a shirt from Yeosang, pants from Jongho, a hat from Hongjoong-hyung, an apron that was Wooyoung’s. Or any combination thereof. They always seemed satisfied when he smelled like them.
San liked it. Just for a week, he felt like he was actually part of the pack.
It was dangerous, though, thinking that way.
Because they always apologized to him once it was all over—about the scenting, and the clothes, and the things he had to see, and hear. San told them it wasn’t necessary every time, but they insisted, so he let them. They were probably embarrassed too that they acted like that with someone who wasn’t even really part of the pack.
San ended up dozing off, his body still exhausted, and woke up only past lunchtime. He ate lightly with Wooyoung and Hongjoong-hyung, both of whom had slept as well.
“Oh, San-ah,” Hongjoong-hyung said suddenly. “You’re going out today, right?”
San nodded.
“With Changbin?” Wooyoung asked.
“Yeah,” San said. He and Changbin had always been close, and they’d gotten closer during Kingdom. Changbin had invited him out to meet up. Wooyoung had been invited too, but he had plans with Yeosang and Yeonjun, so he’d had to refuse.
“Have fun,” Wooyoung said.
San was planning to.
He got dressed simply and left, keeping a mask and hat over his face as he headed to a discreet café, where idols could meet up without being exposed to the media.
Changbin was already waiting there. He spotted San, holding a hand up.
San returned the wave, sitting down opposite him and removing his mask and hat. “Hi. How are you?”
“Peachy,” Changbin said. Then he squinted at San. “Why do you look so tired?”
San sighed, running a hand through his hair. “The others’ cycles just ended.”
“Ah,” Changbin said. The alpha grinned slyly. “That must’ve been fun, eh?”
San felt himself go red. “No! No, I mean—for them, I guess? I’m not really involved in all that, though.”
Changbin’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Just—you know, I’m a beta. I don’t spend their cycles with them.”
“Why not?” Changbin asked.
San bit his lip. “I don’t know. They never asked, and I didn’t want to make them uncomfortable, that’s all.”
“How would you be making them uncomfortable,” Changbin said, grinning. “Have you seen the way they look at you?”
San rolled his eyes. “Sure. Should we order?”
He’d just eaten, so he just got a little pastry and a strawberry smoothie. Changbin ordered an iced Americano and some sort of sandwich for himself. “How have things been with your pack?”
Changbin, who’d just taken a large bite, had to swallow before answering. “Good. Really good, actually.”
San smiled. “I’m happy for you.”
“What about you guys?”
“They’re all fine. Tired, mostly, because it ended just this morning. Everyone’s been resting.”
Changbin nodded. “You know, I still think it’s weird that you aren’t a part of their cycles. I mean, you’re a part of the pack.”
San paused.
Changbin blinked up at him, eyes wide. “Don’t tell me.”
“I mean…not really?” San hedged. “Like, they’ve never asked me to spend a heat or rut with them, they hardly scent me…I don’t know. I mean, none of us are bonded yet, so I guess it doesn’t matter yet anyway.”
Changbin was still gaping at him.
“And I’m a beta,” San said quickly. “Come on, how often have you seen a beta be a part of a pack?”
Changbin’s lips pursed. “Not…often,” he said, eyes faraway. “I mean, I haven’t met many betas in all, but…they usually stick to other betas, I guess.”
San nodded. Betas were the rarest subgender as it was, so Changbin probably wouldn’t understand all the complications that came with being one. “Yeah. Betas with betas. Everyone else together. I mean, no one really wants betas as part of their pack anyway.”
He hadn’t been aiming to make his voice so sad, but it had come out so anyway.
“But you want that.”
San looked up at the alpha. “What?”
Changbin was eyeing him carefully, eyes narrowed like he could see right through San. “You want to be part of their pack, don’t you?”
“What—I—no,” San stuttered. “I—I’m just a beta, I don’t—anyways, they’ll grow up and bond with each other and I’ll still be part of ATEEZ, I don’t have any other aspirations—”
He said it all quickly, breathily, like it wasn’t the thing he was dreading most, seeing the others bond and form a pack without him. He’d still be their groupmate, of course, ATEEZ would forever keep them together, but—he wouldn’t be pack.
He tried not to think about it. That was for future San to deal with.
Changbin’s face softened. “Do you really think that? Don’t you see how much they love you?”
“Of course they love me,” San said. “I’ve never doubted that. But not…not in a pack way, is all.”
Changbin sighed. “I really don’t think so. I mean, I’ve heard the way Wooyoung talks about you. And the way he looks at you—” He made a face. “Like, I can practically hear his thoughts, and I really, really don’t want to.”
San shook his head quickly. “No. That’s not—not how it is.”
“Hmm. Well. I’ll prove it to you, then,” Changbin said.
“What?”
“I said I’ll prove it to you.” He stood up abruptly, grabbing San’s hand. “Come on.”
“Wait—what are you doing?” San said as Changbin pulled him upright. “Where are we going?”
Changbin took a sip of his coffee before answering. “Choi San, we’re going to help you seduce the rest of your pack.”
The absurdity of the statement took a moment to sink in.
“Hang on, I really don’t think that’s going to work—”
“Oh, it will,” Changbin said grimly. “You just trust me.” He patted San’s arm. “I’ll make sure they won’t even be able to think about leaving you out of the pack.”
San eyed him with no small amount of bewilderment as Changbin made him put on his mask and hat again before dragging him out of the café. They headed to some department store. San could barely catch the name before Changbin pulled him inside.
“They have great stuff here,” Changbin said. “I’ll get something for you. My treat.”
“What?”
“Just—oh, look at that! It would look so good on you! Try it on!”
A few minutes later, San found himself standing in front of the trial rooms with a pile of clothes in his hands. “No. Absolutely not.”
Changbin pouted. “Come on.”
“None of this is my style,” San said, still gaping down at everything Changbin had shoved onto him. Most of it was too revealing, too tight, too…things like that were fine on stage, during performances, but not to wear around the dorm.
“You just have to surprise them by wearing something like this every once in a while. That’ll make them even more interested in you than they already are.”
San didn’t agree with this logic, like at all, but he saw no option. He sighed and heading into the room, locking the door, and then braced himself.
The first outfit Changbin had chosen was light jeans that were on the tight side of tight, and a bright yellow, soft crop top, something that was similar to Yeonjun’s recent styling, in San’s personal opinion.
Still, the fabric of the top was cozy, and he wasn’t entirely uncomfortable when he stepped out.
Changbin looked him up and down and made an impressed face. “Hey, nice. See, if you wear something like this, I guarantee they won’t be able to keep their eyes off you.”
San rolled his eyes and went back inside.
He changed into a turtleneck that stuck to his figure, and black glossy pants that he went through a practical war in the process of putting on.
“No,” he said.
“But it looks so good!” Changbin said, gesturing up and down.
“If I wear this they’ll think someone possessed me,” San said. “Also, I don’t have the ass to pull it off.”
“Your ass looks great,” Changbin said with a determined nod. “It’s small but it’s well-shaped. Very cute.”
San sighed and went back in.
He cycled through the next few outfits. Changbin seemed to have a theme, it seemed, of clothing that was far too tight, or cropped in particular places. Specifically around his waist.
San could understand this point of view—he checked SNS and Twitter every once in a while, and he knew ATEEZ’s stylist emphasized the curve of his waist too, but…he’d been living with his group for years. Just seeing some waist wasn’t going to make them lose it, no matter what Changbin thought.
He was getting tired when Changbin made him try on just one last outfit. Acquiescing, San went back on the changing room and put it on.
It was…
Really nice and surprisingly simple came to his mind simultaneously.
The jeans were a pretty blue, tight but not overly so, and they accentuated his…rear end rather nicely. The top was white, long-sleeved, the fabric stretching from his wrists to his abdomen, leaving his waist and navel free to view.
And it was V-necked, leaving his collarbones open, low around the shoulders so basically his entire neck-and-shoulder region was bared, like an invitation for someone to mark him. Tight, too. San was pretty sure his nipples were showing, very slightly, if he arched in a particular way.
It didn’t cover a lot, but a lot better than some of the other stuff Changbin had put him in.
He opened the door gingerly.
Changbin’s eyes widened. “Oh, nice.”
“I think so too,” San said, smoothing it down. “It’s a little…well, a lot revealing, but—”
“That’s the point,” Changbin said dismissively. “We want them to want to jump your bones.”
San’s face went hot immediately. “Changbin!”
“What?” He protested. “That’s what we’re going for! And this is perfect—sexy but innocent. Just like you.”
“I’m not innocent,” San grumbled. He’d seen things during his members’ heat cycles that had left him scarred for days.
Changbin snorted. “Sure. Tell me, when did you have your first kiss again?”
San glared at him, trying to burn Changbin alive through his eyes alone. “Shut up,” he said through gritted teeth. He’d accidentally told Changbin that he’d never kissed anyone before—Changbin, of all people, he’d managed to keep it a secret from everyone else—and the alpha had never let it go.
Changbin cackled. “Nope. It’s your own fault for spilling that secret.”
“Just—keep it a secret,” San muttered. His members didn’t need to know that he’d never had his first kiss, not with the all the stuff San had seen them get up to. They’d think he was a baby.
“Of course I will,” Changbin said, standing up. “So—we’re decided. I’m buying it.”
San changed back into his normal clothes, and then there was a brief argument about who would pay the bill, which Changbin won with his sneaky ways. Then he forced San to wear the top and jeans he’d just bought. To surprise them when you come back home!
It was getting late then, so Changbin offered to drop him home.
San only realized later that the alpha had had ulterior motives.
Once they reached the door, Changbin stopped him. He leaned in closer—
San yelped, stumbling backwards. “What are you doing?”
“Hush,” Changbin said impatiently. “I’m not doing anything. This is part of the plan.” He made San stand there as he rubbed along San’s necks and his wrists proprietarily.
“Scenting me is part of the plan?” San hissed.
“Yup,” Changbin said promptly, and then rang the doorbell.
As soon as Mingi opened the door, his jaw dropped.
San could practically feel Changbin’s smugness radiating from him. He elbowed the alpha discreetly and smiled at Mingi. “Hey. I’m back.”
“Is that you, San-ah? You’re late—what are you wearing?” Wooyoung screeched.
So he was back from his outing too, then.
“I took him shopping,” Changbin said, so innocent that San could almost see the halo above his head. “Don’t you think it’s pretty?” He grabbed San’s hand and walked past Mingi, shoving him inside the house.
San glared at him before turning around. The rest of the pack was scattered in the living room and kitchen, all their eyes on him. “Uh…hi.”
“It is pretty,” Yunho murmured.
San was not blushing. He was not.
“It’s not really your style, though,” Seonghwa-hyung said.
San shrugged. “It’s not bad to switch things up every once in a while.”
They remained silent. He cleared his throat, turning back to Changbin. “It was fun. Thank you for inviting me out.”
“No problem,” Changbin said, grinning. “We should do it again. I’ll text you.”
“Hey, hyung—why do you smell like Changbin-ssi?” Jongho asked, nose wrinkling. So he could smell it from all the way over there? How thoroughly had Changbin scented him?
“Oh, Sannie didn’t really smell like anyone, you must have forgotten to scent him before he left,” Changbin said. “And, I mean, look at him. People couldn’t keep his eyes off him. I can’t blame them, but still. I wanted to be careful. At least with a scent no one will try anything with him.”
San gaped, almost impressed with the smoothness of that lie.
“Well, then,” Changbin said cheerily into the silence. “I’ll be going now. San-ah, see you later!” He pulled San in.
“See you later,” San mumble, hugging him back. He let go, watching Changbin wave before walking outside. Then he stood there, almost afraid of turning back around.
“So…you had fun?” Yeosang asked finally.
He nodded, letting himself meet their eyes. “Yeah. It was nice.”
“That’s good,” Hongjoong-hyung said, but his smile hadn’t quite reached his eyes. “Come on, sit down. We’re having a movie night.”
San sat down between Jongho and Wooyoung, not bothering to change. Normally, he would’ve, but…was it ridiculous to say that he wanted to see how Changbin’s plan played out? Normally his members probably wouldn’t care, but this close to their cycles, maybe they were, in the tiniest bit, affected.
That was probably just wishful thinking.
Indeed, no one was looking at him. Their eyes were all on the TV screen, and San felt, abruptly, like an idiot. Of course they wouldn’t care that he was dressed up a bit sexy. Why would they?
Wooyoung made a noise and shifted away from him, slightly.
San glanced over. “Something wrong?”
Wooyoung’s nose was wrinkled. “You smell.”
San blinked at him. “Changbin’s your friend, though. I know you don’t think he smells. You like his scent.”
Wooyoung’s face screwed up further.
“If San-hyung allowed Changbin-ssi to scent him, then we should be accepting of that,” Jongho said, his tone unreadable.
San squinted at him. Why were they making it seem like—like he was in a relationship with Changbin, or something? He turned back to Wooyoung. “I can wash it off, if it really bothers you. I guess you’re still in post-heat so you don’t like the scents of non-pack people.”
That was probably it, why they all seemed so bothered. Still possessive, the heat and rut effects not having left them completely.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, San-ah,” Seonghwa-hyung said, giving Wooyoung a severe look for some reason.
“I don’t mind it,” San said. “Not if it bothers you.” He stood up. “I’ll be back in a second, alright? Ah, and you can pick any movie as long as it’s not scary.”
He headed inside, running water over his neck and wrists, patting them dry. Perhaps Changbin had scented him strongly—with his beta nose, San had no way of knowing, anyway.
He changed, too, finally wearing his own clothes in the house for the first time in a week. The others wouldn’t care about him smelling like them now, now that it was all over. They probably just didn’t want outside scents up their noses so soon, that was common. San really should’ve known that. And San could see how little what he’d been wearing affected them, so there was no point keeping it on.
He headed back outside in sweatpants and a hoodie, settling back down onto the couch. “Better?”
“Much,” Wooyoung murmured pettily, ignoring the eye-rolling by the other members of his pack.
San laughed, putting an arm around Wooyoung’s shoulder. “Well, then. I’m glad.”
They started the movie, something Jongho’s friend had recommended, and sitting like that, comfortable among his members, San was still happy. He wouldn’t be part of the pack, but he could still live like this, a friend and a loved one. He was okay with that. He had to be. He could be happy like that.
He could. He would. There was simply no other option.