Chapter 1: Prologue
Chapter Text
Even after death many souls couldn't leave this earth behind, many regrets bound them to this world. Some souls stay for revenge, some stay to protect loved ones, some stay because their hopes and dreams were left unfulfilled, some stay because they still have attachments to their home and some stay here for reasons unknown to us.
CangSe SanRen and Wei ChangZe stayed behind for a long time to watch over their son and they're now ready to leave this world, as their son had finally found the happiness, he deserved. Qingheng-Jun and Madam Lan watched over their sons and even though one of them got his happy ending, their other son was still lonely, so they still felt the need to watch over him, helplessly hoping they could help their child. Yu ZiYuan and Jiang FengMian watched over their child and grandchild. Madam Jin watched over her grandchild. So it was just a normal day for most of these ghosts, as they were all guarding their living loved ones. The only odd ones were the first two, who had finally found peace. Little did they know that this would be turning point for all of them.
30 years back in the past eight people opened their eyes with memories of the future and a chance to change it.
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"Mama! Baba! Wake up! I'm hungry!" a little child said jumping up and down next to the bed of his parents. "A-Ying?" CangSe asked, looking at the child next to her bed. "Yes Mama?" the child said tilting his head. His mother pulled him into a tight hug. "I dont know if this is a dream but if it is I don't want to wake up." she whispered. "Mama? Mama? I'm hungry!" Wei Ying whined, he was confused why his mother acted like this. Did she have a nightmare? "Mama did you have a nightmare?" the child said in worried tone and pat his mothers back, mimicking their behaviour whenever he came to them after having nightmares. "No no, I'm fine Mama just missed you." CangSe said and kissed her child's forehead. How much she had missed this. "But you saw me yesterday." The child giggled.
"What is going on here, A-Se? Wait. A-Ying?" ChangZe looked confused. He didn't know that you could dream after death. "Why are you both weird today?" the child asked suspiciously. Then he gasped and jumped back. "Are you a monster pretending to be my Mama and Baba?" the imaginative child said. CangSe quickly whispered. "I think we're in the past." Then she quickly went calm down her baby. "How on earth..." ChangZe wondered, but then he realised. This was an amazing chance to avoid all the suffering of their child. "Alright let's get ready and get breakfast!" he said, picking up his son and taking him to change and wash up. "We have to come up with a plan." He mouthed to his wife, who nodded in agreement.
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Madam Lan opened her eyes in a room that she hadn't seen in a while. Just as she tried to figure out, how she got here, she heard a knock at her door. She got up to check. However she didn't really realise, that she was actually alive and had a physical body, so she walked straight into a wall trying to get out. "What the?" she whispered. After she got up and recovered from the shock, she opened the door and was nearly knocked over by the person outside.
Qingheng-Jun had also woken up in the past and had been directly confronted by a servant, so he went to check up on his wife, to see if she had gone back in time too. He also wondered if she was still alright, as she would fall sick and pass away that year. He needed to check her condition and find a way to save her this time.
"Aìrén*, what are you doing here and where's A-Huan?" Madam Lan asked with a confused and sleepy tone. "Plus why can't I walk trough things anymore?" she was really confused and this overwhelming tiredness, that she hadn't felt, since she died, clouded her mind. "XīnGān*, it is you." Qingheng-Jun said in a slightly relieved tone. "Of course it's me! Or did you hug me thinking I was another woman?" she asked. "Of course not. Let's go inside and I'll explain the situation I assume that we are in." he said in a calm tone as he walked inside. After his death they had a lot of time to talk and figure things out, but right now he was still supposed to be in seclusion.
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When Jiang FengMian woke up, he was greeted with a familiar purple room. As he looked around, trying to figure out, why he was here exactly and all alone too, he saw some documents lying on a table and when he looked trough them realisation washed over him. He instantly got up and got dressed, before leaving to check on his wife. If she had gone back too, this would confirm the reality of this situation and give them the opportunity to make plans for the future. If she hadn't however, he would still have to fix up their strained relationship and make things right. He couldn't be a coward this time.
However shortly after he got out, he saw Yu Ziyuan walking towards him and realised that she had definitely also regressed. "My Lady let's talk inside, please." he said as soon as they stood in front of each other. Madam Yu just nodded with a cold expression, walking ahead already. "I also got a message from Lanling. Madam Jin is in the same situation so we have to visit her." She said vaguely in a low voice, but he understood. This situation was messier than he had expected. He wondered who else could be affected and hoped that it wouldn't be a Wen.
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Madam Jin was surprised to see her son again and as a child at that. Her son's spirit did follow around A-Ling of course, but it wasn't the same at all. So that morning she quickly send out a butterfly made out of spiritual energy to the Jiang sect, it contained a message to inform Yu ZiYuan of her situation. It was vague enough to make sure, that no one who wasn't from the future would understand the actual meaning. If her friend wasn't in the same situation, it would only seem like a normal message to her.
She later on decided to spend some time with her son, because she wanted to avoid her husband and she had missed her child dearly. This time around she'd fix her mistakes. Should she castrate her husband right now or a little later? She'd have to discuss that with Yu ZiYuan. If she castrated him after Mo Xuanyu was born she could thank the poor child for indirectly helping in solving her child's death, but could she actually stomach that? She had so many things to fix. She needed to avoid the death of her son and her daughter-in-law at all costs.
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Meanwhile someone else quickly sat up in their bed, remembering everything and realising their situation instantly. This time they would be able to do things right and not get caught. Also there were many new methods that were discovered in the future that would help him succeed. He got dressed and left his room. Ideas on how to change the future swirling in his mind. This was going to be one hell of a journey.
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心肝 (XĪNGĀN)
"心肝" literally means "heart and liver." While that might sound a bit too bloody for Westerners, the term is used to recognize the most important person, without whom you cannot live without (just like how you can't live without your heart or liver.)
The English term "my heart and soul" might come close to the intense meaning of "心肝." Overall, recognize that "心肝" is a very strong term of endearment, to be reserved only for those who are extremely precious to you.
Aìrén*
In Chinese, "爱(ài)" means "love" and "人(rén)" means "person/people," so "爱人(àiren)" literally means "the person you love." However, the term can't be used to refer to every person that you love: not your girlfriend, not your boyfriend, and not your lover. The term is reserved only for your husband or wife.
Chapter Text
Yiling was bustling since every local shop was trying to make themselves look more presentable and inviting. A bunch of cultivators had visited the otherwise abandoned area, the burial mounds scared many people away and no one really thought about trying to get Yiling under their protection, though the Wen sect and Jiang sect often acted as if it was part of their sect when it was convenient.
CangSe sent a letter to her friend in Gusu and Wei ChangZe had also send a letter to lotus pier after long consideration, however he wasn't sure when it would reach its destination. They didn’t even know if the Jiangs would understand their letter, as it was written in a way that someone who wasn’t from the future wouldn’t understand.
This also led him to be even more surprised too see his friend in the backroom of the inn, which they had rented to have a secret conversation with the others. Madam Jin was a completely unexpected variable. However he was pulled out of his confusion when his wife suddenly spoke up. "I think we all know why we're here and we can start talking without further ado. A-Ying would you join your new friends at the other table?" She said without any hesitation and ChangZe just then noticed the other table with the kids. There was a light glow surrounding their table meaning their friends had already used a silencing talisman.
"So we are all in the same situation? How amusing." Yu Ziyuan said in an unamused tone. "Well we have to use this chance to change the future, because I'm sure that I'm not the only one who has regrets." she continued looking at her children and A-Ying.
"Yeah, I regret passing away and leaving my child in your care." Cangse said in a venomous tone. Everyone tensed up and Yu Ziyuan's expression darkened.
"At least I took him in, gave him food, clothing and education!" She said her tone far sharper than it was just a moment ago.
"Oh please, you talk as if you did that out of pure goodwill! You just wanted to use him as a human shield for your children!" Cangse said, her voice rising and her gaze snapped to a particular sect leader. "And you Fengmian! I would have expected better from you! You're Changze's sworn brother and best friend! But what did you do when he died? You took the child in four years after we died. FOUR GODDAMN YEARS! Do you even know how much my A-Ying suffered? Then you took him in and trained him. Which, don't get me wrong, I am grateful for, but when your wife was obviously abusing him, you just turned a blind eye. And you acted as if you cared for my child oh so much, while you in your last moments told him to become a human shield for your children. Your ridiculous 'favouritism' brought my child so much pain, but it wasn't even really like that. You two messed up my child's life, while acting like you were helping him!" Her voice had begun to lower itself, but the venom in her voice didn't get any less. She had always wanted to say all that, but their paths hadn't crossed all that often and definitely not long enough to actually say what she wanted too.
"Wait he did what?" Yu Ziyuan said looking at her husband, after hearing what he had said to the child he had always favoured so much.
The sect leader just looked down on to his lap, like a child that had just been scolded by his mother and he didn't even dare look anyone in the eyes. Only now had he fully realised his fault at the child's misery, his best friend hadn't even attempted to defend him, he had just held his wife's hand to ground her. ChangZe spared not a glance at him, since he sat down and had only ever made sure that his wife didn't do anything that she might regret.
Yu Ziyuan sighed, before she then replied to Cangse. "Listen I'm aware of my mistakes and I want to fix them, but I had my own reasons back then. I have seen a lot after my death and I did regret my actions, especially when I saw how much Wuxian actually cared about my children and when he lost control and died such a gruesome way-" "Wait you actually think he lost control?" Changze cut in. The tension at the table was so thick, you could have cut it with a knife, when everyone realised what he meant.
Wei Wuxian had died not because he lost control, but because he had given up control. He died because he didn't want to live anymore.
The realisation made everyone speechless and they looked over at the little child who smiling brightly, while excitedly telling a story, all the other kids were listening with awe and even Lan WangJi seemed intrigued. How cruel was the world to turn such a child into the feared Yiling patriarch?
Madam Lan was the first person to get herself together and spoke up, breaking the tense silence. "I think we should start discussing the key points for the destruction that was suffered in the future." Everyone thought about their own contributions first.
"Well I should definitely do something about my husband's affairs-" "You can't just castrate him, that would cause unnecessary trouble." Yu Ziyuan said. Madam Jin who was planning on doing exactly that was flustered but answered instantly. "I wasn't planning on doing that!" she exclaimed and huffed, while crossing her arms. "Yeah sure" Yu Ziyuan just answered. "Well I definitely should take Meng Yao away from that stupid woman that made him believe that my husband's approval meant anything. I should also take away Mo Xuanyu and his mother from that village." She sighed. "I think I need to trace back all of his illegitimate children to avoid trouble. I hate him." She said in a defeated tone. Madam Lan softly pat her back. “Just kill him when Jin Zixuan is old enough.” Qingheng-jun suggested in a monotone tone, making everyone look at him with surprise, well except madam Lan. “And then no one believes me when I say that he’s the crazier one.” Madam Lan said amused.
"Wait how old is the second lady Mo right now?" she then asked looking in to the round. "Thirteen." Changze said in a disgusted voice and everyone shivered upon hearing that. "How- how old was she when she got pregnant?" Madam Jin asked hoping that she could be at least a little less disgusted. "She was fifteen when when she got pregnant and her birthday was six months before Mo Xuanyu's birthday. I remember that from Mo Xuanyu's journal and from what he told us." Changze answered again.
"Wow you're able to remember all that?" Cangse said. "Yes, I might be forgetful about many things, but I am able to remember details about the life of people close to me." he answered. "Good thing that you are like that, because I often forget facts about people. You're really my other half. Completing and complimenting my abilities." She said leaning on to him. "Of course, I need to be at least that much to keep an amazing woman like you" he answered, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "There are other people here you know!" Yu Ziyuan said in a pissed off tone. "You are just jealous that we are a cuter couple than you'll ever be." Cangse said and stuck her tongue out. Yu Ziyuan huffed.
"Well anyways I hope I can find a way to get rid off this disease, though I doubt it." Madam Lan said softly and quietly to the point that if the room wasn't so quiet she wouldn't have been heard. Cangse slightly raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment on it all that much.
She just reached out over the table to madam Lan and the latter gave her friend her wrist, so that she could check her meridians. Even though everyone here could check that, Cangse was quite well versed in spiritual energy and could sense even the smallest disruption, that even other powerful cultivators couldn't sense. It was all thanks to Baoshan SanRen's teachings.
"Have you been in contact with resentful energy recently?" Cangse asked and madam Lan shook her head. Everyone at the table glanced at each other, wondering about what was going on. "The spiritual energy keeps flowing towards your golden core and seems to be trying to get rid of something, but that's currently damaging your core. I think it could be a curse or an unknown disease that could be very dangerous for many cultivators if it starts showing up more." she said. "So you're saying my own spiritual energy is attacking my golden core and slowly killing me off while doing so. If it's a curse I don't know who could have done that. Was it one of the servants?" Madam Lan said her face distorted in discomfort.
Her cultivation had helped her stay alive since she was younger, but now the very thing that has saved her multiple times was killing her. Just imagining that made her feel weird. Would it be better to get rid of her core and live as a common person? After all she was the madam of the Lan sect now and she barely stepped out of her room. However it was a matter of pride too. Not only that but without her cultivation, she had trouble with her confidence. Her cultivation was the most praiseworthy thing about her that was what was said to her oftentimes in the past. Slowly she looked down on her lap fiddling with her sleeves. Then her husband put his hand over hers and she looked at him, as he gave her a reassuring look, silently telling her that everything was going to be alright.
"Well things would be a lot easier if only we had a talented medic like Wen Qing with us." Cangse said with a sigh and everyone agreed. No one in their right mind could deny Wen Qing's talent for medicine. Cangse had grown quite fond of the girl, who took care and watched over her baby when she couldn't.
"Well I guess I should take on my role as a sect leader and father, because my absence caused many people a lot of stress and caused my children pain. I would prefer to avoid that." Qingheng-jun said, his voice was a lot more monotone than his wife's, but not as cold as his youngest son's in the future. After his statement he just got a small round of nods and tips on how to be a good father from Changze.
"I guess it's our time on self reflection." Changze said looking at his wife. "I don't want to die this time and I think I will return to Lotus Pier and help with war preparations. Also I guess it would be better for A-Ying's development to be around peers his age." he said. Instantly his best friend looked up excitedly. "You'll return? This is great!" The sect leader Jiang said and Changze just nodded.
"Well I also don't really think about dying at the moment. I think I will go back to the mountain -before you guys ask, I have special permission due to personal reasons- and I will ask teacher about the Yin iron. I'll probably tell her everything and get her advice. Then a-Ying and Changze can stay in Lotus Pier." Cangse just said and ignored the suspicions looks that a few people on the table gave her due to her comment in between, but she obliviously looked away. "Well Yu Ziyuan how do you plan on redeeming yourself?" she then asked provokingly.
Yu Ziyuan sighed before answering. "First of all it's Madam Yu" she started, but quickly realised that Cangse couldn't care less. In an annoyed tone she continued. "I will try to be a better mother my children and prepare my sect for the war." Cangse smiled. "Sure, if you were able to be nice, you would be a decent mother." she said cynically. This caused Yu Ziyuan's eyes to snap to her. "Well you keep acting like your child was the only one who suffered, but at least your child got his happy ending, mine didn't even get that." she hissed. "And who's fault is that?"Cangse said coldly. "Cangse, please calm down." Changze said softly, she just sighed and held his hand. For today she would stop.
"Well Sect leader Jiang what are your ambitions?" Changze asked. "I want to show my affection to a-Cheng and A-Li openly and I obviously need to prepare for the war." he said, flinching at the formal call of his best friend. "So the same as your wife? Great! You two can work together then!" Madam Lan just said cheerfully.
"Alright, so I think we should establish some basic steps. So since I have to leave for the mountain, my husband and son can stay in lotus pier and while A-Ying plays with the kids, Changze can help with the preparation, we already had that. So madam Jin needs to track down the illegitimate children and see how she avoids them causing trouble and maybe be more responsible than her husband. Madam Yu and sect leader Jiang can start their preparations, be it training, evacuation plans or strengthening the borders. Madam Lan needs to figure out how she got cursed and what the curse is, I will ask Laoshi about it too. She also needs to get her name in the clear. Qingheng-Jun needs to take on his duty as sect leader, strengthen the borders, start to copy the ancient texts just in case and take proper care of his children. I don't really get along well with Qiren and even I pity him for the excessive amount of work you pushed on to him." Cangse said. Everyone agreed, because for now they couldn't do much more and they had to take small steps at first, so that they don't get caught instantly.
"Well then I guess we'll stay here for an extra day before we leave." Madam Lan said. "We'll also stay for a little longer, since we still need to pack." Cangse said. "I'll stay at Lotus pier, before returning." Madam Jin said, glancing at Yu Ziyuan. "Alright we'll return then" Jiang Fengmian said and everyone got up.
"I don't want to go yet!" Jiang Cheng exclaimed hiding behind Lan Huan. "A-Cheng, your friends can visit again some time, but we can't stay here forever." Jiang Fengmian said softly, his wife was already waiting outside with Yanli and listening to her daughter tell her all about her day. She didn't have the patience to deal with Jiang Chengs tantrum. Changze, Qingheng-Jun and Lan Huan seemed amused, but their expression barely changed. Jin Zixuan had been sold instantly when his mother offered to buy him sweets if he left, but Jiang Cheng was stubborn. "A-Cheng please, let's just go." Jiang Fengmian really tried his best, but this child had the stubbornness of his mother.
On the other side of the room madam Lan and Cangse were cooing at how adorable their children were. "Don't wanna leave A-Ying" Lan Zhan said with a slight pout while holding on to the other child. Well and the other child was beaming. "Mama, Mama, can my new friend please stay over?" Wei Ying asked. "We'll of course, if his mother allows." Cangse said while internally dying of cuteness. Now both boys turned to look at madam Lan with pleading looks. "Could he please madam?" Wei Ying asked. "Sure he can!" madam Lan said, lightly pinching both their cheeks. Lan WangJi turned away, his ears slightly red, while Wei Ying giggled.
After a lot of effort Jiang Fengmian walked out holding a ferocious do-oh wait that's Jiang Cheng thrashing in his arms and trying to bite him. "I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go!" he kept screaming. "A-Cheng." his mothers warning voice made him instantly stop thrashing and Jiang Fengmian looked as if he had seen god herself at that moment. "Thank you!" he exclaimed in relief. So everyone went to their respective places, a lot of tasks lying ahead of them.
Notes:
So I realised that I can't keep referring to some of the characters by only their title this whole story, so I decided to give them names, but I'm not sure if I should and what I should name them. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. This chapter is 2700 words long and I'm just a second away from losing my sanity, it's 1am right now and I should probably sleep.
Also a day after posting this on the 30th of may is my birthday, so I consider this a present for myself.
-Lei
Chapter 3: Start of the changes
Chapter Text
After many discussions, a lot of whining and a few promises Cangse was able to convince her son to let her go. While Wei Ying was eating lunch, Changze went to meet Fengmian, to talk about their future plans and Cangse was packing, getting ready to depart soon.
Cangse had departed half an hour ago and Changze had finally finished the meeting, now he was looking for his son. „Where's is A-Ying?" he asked the servant in charge of him. „Oh he wanted to sleep so I tucked him in and left." said Meilien, the young maid who was in charge of taking care of Wei Ying for the time being. „Alright thank you." said Changze.
He's not there. „A-Ying?" Changze said slightly panicked. „Come on this isn't funny." he said, while looking around the room that his child was supposed to be sleeping in. Then he saw that Wei Ying's clothes were also gone. His heart dropped. „Oh no they have kidnapped, A-Ying." he concluded. He quickly ran out and to find his old friend and ask him for help.
„FENGMIAN! FENGMIAN!"" Changze shouted as he saw his friend walking with Yu Ziyuan. Jiang Fengmian slightly lit up at the less formal call, but seeing the panic in his usually calm friends face, was enough to worry him. „What happened Changze?" he asked, while trying to calm his panicked friend. „A-Ying is gone. He's nowhere to be found and his stuff is gone too." Changze said. „WHAT?" Jiang Fengmian exclaimed.
A few moments later Lotus pier was in great commotion trying to find the child. Even Yu Ziyuan decided to help, she searched trough the room to find some clues that the panicked father might have overlooked. Meanwhile Jiang Fengmian tried to calm his friend down.
„You don't understand Fengmian what if it's a regressor? We have been foolish thinking we're the only ones to go back. What if someone knows about him? What if they use him to control resentful energy? He might be a genius, but he's still a child! What will I tell Cangse? She will-" „Be calm, because Wuxian is with her. Look." Yu Ziyuan, who had just walked in, said. She held out a note written in a barely readable writing. Changze instantly took the note out of her hands and read it.
I'm with Mama, don't worry.
That was the only thing Yu Ziyuan could read. „He really has your writing."said Fengmian fondly. „Yeah. But definitely A-Se's personality." Changze said, you could easily hear the relief in his voice. „Well then I'll take my leave. You guys can do whatever."Yu Ziyuan just said, before she turned to leave.
Meanwhile Cangse realised that someone was following her. She had suspected it but then decided that it must have been a coincidence. She was after all in a very populated area, but once she got inside the woods, it was undeniable. She quickly pinned down the location of the very clumsy follower. When she heard rustling from the bushes, she unsheathed her sword instantly.
The little thing gasped. „Mama?" it asked. „A-Ying? Why are you following me? Wait for how long have you been following me? How did you follow me? Does your father know? How did you catch up? Oh no, you ran away. Why are you like me?" Cangse said panicked.
„A-Ying wanted to be with Mama. So A-Ying followed Mama after eating lur-lan-lum afternoon food, Mama was just leaving a uhm food-eating-place and followed with a donkey, big pear!"A donkey came running out of the bushes. „Yeah Pear's a little fat so I called him big pear-Outsch!" The donkey kicked him and Cangse chuckled. „And he's mean" He continued glaring at big pear. The donkey chewed on some grass innocently. „Well and... Wait what was the ques- oh yeah. A-Ying left a note. A-Ying wrote it himself." he boasted, Cangse pat his head chuckling. She was sure that her little angel (or devils spawn-this was hijacked by Lan Qiren) had given his father quite the scare and possibly an heart attack. „A-Ying is Mama's baby, that's why he's like Mama!" Wei Ying proudly declared.
„Well do you think we could send Pear back to its owner?" Cangse asked. She had been planning on travelling by sword, once she got out of town. „Of course the owner said if you just tell big Pear to go home, he'll return back fast." Wei Ying answered. Cangse quickly scribbled a note (her writing is still better than Changze could while putting effort into it) and attached it to the collar of the animal. „Alright Pear, go home." Cangse tried her luck and it worked like a charm. The donkey quickly shot up and disappeared in Lotus pier's direction. „Wow." „See A-Ying said it would work!"
„Alright well A-Ying we're visiting grandma and you're coming with me." Cangse said calmly and picked her child up. „Are we going to fly?" the child asked, squirming around excitedly. „Yes but if A-Ying moves too much, he'll fall." she said as she unsheathed her sword once again and the child gasped, holding on tightly. His little finger where digging into her neck as he held onto it for dear life. He was now completely still and looked carefully at the distancing ground over his mothers shoulders. „Wow this is so cool!"
Meanwhile Gusu was in uproar because a Wen had just arrived. Madam Lan and Qingheng-Jun were shocked to find out that someone had made a move this quickly. „I think we might have been found out. This might get catastrophic if I'm right, alright let's just act natural I will just go and look sick, so that they think it was like a last will or something. If we look hopeless enough." Madam Lan whispered to hear husband quickly.
Well how will that work out for them?
-In a tavern in Wen territory two days earlier-
„Have you heard it is rumoured that the sect leader of Jiang and Lan clan and the madams of the Lan, Jiang and Jin clan apparently met up secretly." A guy said in low voice to the other men at the table.
„I wonder what they met for." on of the younger people said. He looked at the elders hoping that they would be wise enough to answer.
„Well aren't Madam Jin and the Jiangs madam sworn sisters? Maybe it's just a meeting between friends." Another young one replied and the table broke out in to laughter. The boy looked down embarrassed.
„Oh you sweet, sweet child, you're so naive." One of the elders said. „They are most likely planning to overthrow the Wen sect, but our leader is to powerful to be overthrown so easily."
„Well I hope they don't do something foolish, that might harm everyone." the third guy whispered quietly under his breath.
„Maybe they are planning to assassinate Jin Guanshan." Some guy threw in and the table once again roared with laughter.
„Well I guess they started to make their move. I guess now it's my turn." A hooded guy that was at the table next to the group whispered to himself. He got up, left some money for the bill with a hefty tip. As he walked trough the door, he smiled under his hood. „They forgot the Wei family. An unexpected and powerful variable."
Chapter Text
Madam Jin decided to first take care of the kids who's location she knew. Mo Xuanyu wasn't born yet, Qin Su would be born next year and any other kids were unknown to her. Currently she was traveling to a small town, which she wouldn't have visited for all of the Jin's treasury, but alas it was necessary for her son and grandson's safety. She was doing so much for her child and she really hoped that at least in this life, she would be a parent her son could look up to.
She was ripped out of her thoughts, when the carriage stopped. Her son huffed in annoyance. "Finally. Why couldn't we just fly with swords? Wei Wuxian and his parents apparently always fly everywhere with swords." he said.
Madam Jin shook her head amused at her child's antics. Seeing him like this again still felt like a dream. A really pleasant dream. She just wanted to squish his puffed up cheeks. In her last life she had focused way more on the fact that he was the heir of the Jin sect, to actually show him the affection and understanding he had needed. She always imagined that there would be enough time once he became a sect leader. That he would be thankful for her effort and that she could shower him in affection and understanding, once he was grown enough. However she was so busy pointing out his failures and pushing him to act more mature, that she had missed her chance. Her child was already gone once she realized her mistakes. Even after she had followed her child, she had not apologized. Too ashamed of her mistakes. Blaming herself for everything. But now? Now she had gotten a second chance and she wouldn't mess it up.
"Well A-Xuan, they are only three people and they take a lot of breaks, we don't have time for that many breaks. Your father and the elders will worry." she tried to explain. Though she barely believed her own words. The only reason not to use swords, was for her to collect Meng Yao and maybe other kids of her husband, but she really hoped she wouldn't. It was a selfish wish. She was aware, but she was sick of it. She didn't want to find more kids. More proof of her husband's infidelity. However she was also painfully aware that if she didn't find all of them, they could become an other Jin Guangyao, Qin Su or Mo Xuanyu. She wouldn't take all of them in. However she would at least try to keep an eye on them.
Her son huffed once more. "As if they care." he whispered. Crossing his arms in front of him, while looking down. Probably trying to hide the sadness in his eyes. At that moment Madam Jin wanted to murder her husband so badly.
"So are we going to take a break here?" he then asked looking curiously out the window. Then he gasped, hiding his eyes with his hands. "There is a really inappropriately dressed woman outside." he whispered pointing while looking away. Amused the madam looked out the window. She gasped and said "Oh no, you are right." While trying to stifle her laughter. She ruffled her sons hair, before the carriage door was opened by a servant.
"Let's get out." she said, picking up her still startled child. The servants tried to take the child, but she just waved them off. Zixuan was hiding his face on his mothers shoulder.
Madam Jin slightly narrowed her brows and wrinkled her nose in disgust, when she walked in to the inn and saw many odd people inside.
Just as she was turning to leave, a man who was at the counter called for her. "Madam, Madam! Please hold on!" the guy said.
Madam Jin turned on her heels. "Are you talking to me?" she asked, her voice a little more arrogant and aggressive than she would have preferred. "
Ah-uhm... Yes, I wanted to ask, how I could help?" the startled man said, quickly picking himself up from the shock, a customer service smile plastered across his face.
"Well I am sorry, but as I am with my child and my disciples, I doubt that you could provide us enough rooms, with all your customers that you already have here." she said coldly.
"Oh no don't you worry Madam, I will clear out the inn for you. We shall also leave only our female workers if that would be more comfortable for the Madam and the young master." he said. His voice reminding her of Meng Yao's. Were they related? "I have a grandchild his age if the young master wants to play with someone." the man also offered. Could he be the Grandparent of Meng Yao?
"May I ask for your and your grandchild's name?" Madam Jin said.
"Oh my excuse my manners! This one is getting quite old." the man said slightly bowing. "My name is Meng Zhou, my daughter's name is Meng Shi and her son is called Meng Yao." the old man answered politely.
Madam Jin's breath was caught in her throat, as she paled with every name that fell. However she quickly regained her composure and answered. "You can refer to me as Madam Jin and this is my son, Jin Zixuan." she introduced herself and her son. The mans eyes widened slightly at the mentions of the Jin name, but he quickly concealed it.
He ordered one of his servants something and when the servant returned, they were all led to their rooms.
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Madam Lan and Qingheng-Jun went to meet the Wen's that came to visit, after getting the news that both of their children were safely returned to Lan Xichen's room. Well Lan WangJi refused to be pulled away from his brothers hand, so they were just left together. The children were a lot more cheerful after this trip. They had made many friends and spent time with both of their parents. A really rare sight.
Madam Lan had wanted those moments to last forever, but just like everything good, that trip also had to end.
She held her husbands hand for a moment for reassurance, before she walked in to the room, in which the Wens were waiting. When she saw the robes with the red details and the sun on them, unpleasant memories resurfaced. But she covered it up and took a seat next to her husband, her face still pale.
Now finally what was the purpose of the Wen's visiting?
Notes:
Sorry for the short chapter. I was busy preparing for an event and had to write all of this in one go within four hours to update on schedule , but it was late and I'm tired, so I do not want to be held accountable for what I wrote here. Thank you for reading! I really appreciate it.
PS: I’ll probably post another chapter earlier to make up for this one.
Chapter Text
Madam Jin watched her son excitedly tell his half-brother all about his sect and cultivation that he had learned. Her lips slightly curled downwards. Seeing this child was infuriating, after all he had caused so much pain and suffering.
"Your son is really enthusiastic, isn't he?" Meng Shi said fondly. She obviously liked the idea of her son getting along with his brother. Even tough she was aware that the Madam in front of her didn't find out about his origin. No one knew what the Madam might do if she found out.
"Of course, he likes to share his knowledge. Your son is a good listener, he also seems very smart. He has great potential and obvious interested in becoming a cultivator. I won't stay here for long but if you don't mind, I would like to give him a chance to study in our sect. Zixuan would also be happy to have his new friend with him." Madam Jin said her voice polite, a smile was on her face, but internally she was annoyed. Was Meng Shi mocking her child?
Meng Shi looked surprised. "Wait, really?" she asked, her eyes wide and full of excitement, however she quickly realized her mistake. She cleared her throat, before speaking again. "Is this a serious offer?" she asked.
Madam Jin nodded, the way that the lady in front of her was acting, was really annoying to her. Actually, everything the lady did seemed annoying. Probably because Madam Jin disliked the lady from the very start. "I don't joke about things like that. So, we will be leaving tomorrow already, so you should prepare all of your son's stuff before we leave. If you accept." Madam Jin said trying to sound friendly. If Meng Shi didn't accept, it would be her fault. At least she would have had a chance except hoping for Jin Guanshan to remember her. Madam Jin believed that she was being charitable enough.
However, unexpectedly, Meng Shi bowed to thank her before bolting to her son's room. "Wait she actually went to pack his stuff?" Madam Jin blinked confused. Then she shrugged and turned to watch over her son again.
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Madam Lan stared nervously at the Wens going trough Cloud Recess. Her husband was fuming though, it wasn't evident on his face, she could tell. All the years they spent watching over their sons, was enough for her to figure out his feelings and expressions. Next to them Lan Qiren was also fuming, though his anger was more evident. Many of the elders seemed unhappy as well, but they decided to keep quiet.
"They think that we have been acting suspicious and decided to send people to investigate us?" Lan Qiren was mumbling furiously and not even the warning glares of the elders could shut him up. "The are obviously more suspicious, but no one investigates them. Why? Because they are so powerful."
"You know Qiren, you would maybe find a partner if you talked less." Madam Lan whispered. Now Qiren was mad at her, but even though they wanted to argue further, his brother blocked their way,
"Cut it out." He just said and now both of them were pouting. Though his wife didn't really come to cloud recess under the best conditions, they had known each other before. Madam Lan was quite insufferable and liked to tease people, and well Lan Qiren could not manage his anger at all, this resulted in conflicts constantly. Which was the reason why they didn't interact much.
The elders also glared at Madam Lan for her inappropriate behavior, but she just smiled back at them unfazed. She had it worse, some old people judging her was nothing.
"Do these elders really think that they are scary?" she whispered in her husband's ear. He just shook his head, amused at his wife's antics.
„But you know Qiren, you are right. The only odd thing was me taking a trip with my husband and kids, but if you look at my condition, is it really that odd?“ she said and as if on command she coughed up a bit of blood. Oh? This was not supposed to happen. She never coughed up blood before so why now? Everyone around her looked alarmed. Even the elders and Qiren who seemed to hate everything she did. Qiren quickly gave her a handkerchief and she just thanked him, before wiping away the blood on her hands and face. Nostalgic.
„Madam Lan, I think you should get some rest.“ one of the stern elders said in an unexpectedly worried tone. Well Madam Lan was scared too, only a little less than her husband who seemed to consider picking her up and carrying her back to her rooms.
„No, I'm fine. I will wait until the Wen's leave.“ Madam Lan said, leaving no room for argument, especially as the Wen's had just arrived. She ignored the worried eyes on her and bowed respectfully at the Wen General.
„No need to bow, Madam Lan. We are aware of your condition.“ he said softly, then he slightly touched her hand while motioning her to get up. Luckily Madam Lan was quite aware of smuggling tricks and quickly grabbed the note. No one even seemed to notice the light touch. „Well we have found nothing to confirm or suspicions, so we are very sorry for the disturbance“ he said politely.
After quickly saying their farewells the Wen's left. Madam Lan asked her husband to escort her back to her room. Not mentioning the note, as she was suspecting that it was something either about her past or the future, therefore the elders shouldn't be notified.
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„Well then you're now in Lanling, Meng Yao. Are you excited?“ Madam Jin said smiling politely. As the two kids were stuck to the window throughout the whole trip, only stopping a few times when they fell asleep. Jin Zixuan explained everything he knew and Meng Yao explained what he knew, evry now and then Madam Jin would answer the questions of the two curious children.
Meng Yao nodded, while his eyes were shining. If he was any other child Madam Jin might have found it adorable, but Meng Yao smiling did not bring up happy memories. Jin Zixuan quickly took his new friend to meet his cousins and friends, before Madam Jin could tell him to rest and let Meng Yao rest. „Where do they find that energy from?“ she smiled fondly.
That smile quickly faded when she was met with her husband waiting for her.
„Madam you are finally back. Where is Zixuan?“ he asked. There was a slight panic in his eyes that Madam Jin picked up. Oh so some birdie told him, that Madam Jin picked up one of his illegitimate children. This was going to be amusing.
„Yes, I have returned. Zixuan is currently showing his new friend around, there are guards with them. The new friend is a boy named Meng Yao, he seemed so smart, it would be a waste to let him rot in a small village.“ she said smiling as if she was totally unaware of his affair. Jin Guangshan relaxed, when the Madam wasn't angry but upon hearing the child's name he and his right hand man seemed nervous. So someone really explained everything to him. Well let's see how long she could toy with him until he blew up.
Madam Jin grinned.
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Madam Lan sat in her room as her husband brew some herbal tea. Upon reading the note she was trembling, both out of fear and relief. Her husband quickly whipped around upon hearing her sob. Then he checked the note in her hands.
„So if we use this array and the medicine listed below. We will be able to completely heal you? We have to show this to Cangse Sanren upon her return.“ her husband said with hope in his eyes. Madam Lan nodded tearfully.
„But you are aware that this letter implies that some Wen from the future is also back and this is their last act of kindness towards us.“ she said softly. Her husband pulled her into a reassuring hug. Everything would be fine.
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„Fuck, shit, oh for gods sake. I hate this mountain. “ Cangse muttered, while her son was gleefully praising her for barely escaping the traps that she set off. Bless his pure soul.
„Wow! Mama is so cool and uhm.. strong and talearnted“ he said, looking at her like she was a goddess. Cangse lightly squished his cheek and he squeaked in delight. Then Cangse saw the top of the mountain and the high wall protecting the disciples inside. Her eyes lit up excitedly.
„Did you mean talented?“ she said and the child huffed. He muttered something along the lines of „That's what I just said.“ and Cangse just chuckled. Then she pointed at the high white walls that shone in the light of the sunset, the doors, which Cangse knew were just decoys, looked like the gates of heaven. Cangse remembered the last time she left those gates. Her worries from that time seemed ridiculous now. „Look A-Ying, you always asked about mama's home. This is where I grew up.“ she said as her child looked at the walls in admiration. There was no dirt, no moos and no sign of use over the times on the wall. Cangse remembered the first time she walked trough those walls. She was confined in them for as long as she could remember, but then on her 10th birthday Baoshan allowed her to go down the mountain to look for disciples to take in.
„Come on A-Se, we can't get ready forever. If you don't come out right now, I'm leaving you behind.“ Baoshan said amused. She had watched Cangse straightened her robes and redo her hair for almost an hour and was slowly getting annoyed. Of course you had a lot of time as an immortal, but watching someone do the same thing over and over again, was still annoying. „Just let me do it.“ she said as the girl pouted. Quickly her face lit up and she beamed as her hair was being partially braided back with pearls worked into the braid. Baoshan then put her hair up into two buns.
„Wow can I keep the pearls?“ she asked as she admired her hairdo.
„Of course, now lets go.“ Baoshan urged her and they quickly walked out of the secret gates. Cangse looked up at the walls as they left, but quickly realized that she should pay attention to her teacher guiding her trough the traps.
„Wow! So this is what the outside looks like.“ she whispered in awe as they walked into the lively streets of the small village right down the mountain. Baoshan just softly smiled letting her admire the stands full of new items she had never seen. However she also saw many dark alleys that gave her an uncanny feeling and many children living in horrible conditions. When they returned to the mountain that day with a bunch of street kids on their side, she smiled. That day she decided that not only would she be thankful for her situation but would also make sure that all of her new shijies, shixiongs, shimeis and shidis adapt as easily as possible, would make sure they are happy and don't have to suffer ever again.
„Mama! MAMA!“ her child's scream ripped her out of her thoughts. Wei Ying was pulling her hair and she hissed.
„Yes, A-Ying?“ She asked.
„We are at the wall.“ he said with a bright smile and Cangse once again squished his cheek. Her son was adorable. And right apparently. She must have unconsciously finished the rest of the way.
„So I haven't lost my touch!“ she said victoriously. Wei Ying smiled and nodded approvingly.
„Mama is the best.“ he said, hugging his mother tighter.
Cangse cooed at her son, while looking trough her qiankun bag. When she found the black jade pendant, she sighed in relief. She did not want to return just for a pendant. Well maybe if she had organised her stuff, she wouldn't have such trouble. Well she probably won't get anymore organised. It was a nice imagination still.
Notes:
I had to send an assignment (which I procrastinated my way out of since the 8th of april) that was due overmorrow and I am busy this whole weekend so I didn't have much time to write. Anyways I hope you still like this chapter and I will try my best to get my sht together, but since I'm dumb af, I probably will just cry about it instead of actually doing anything. Anyways have a goodnight, morning or afternoon. Have a great weekend and week ^°^
Chapter 6: The mountains we climbed were not blessed by the gods
Notes:
Honestly I have no excuses, except my brain being mean to me and me being a dumbass who listens to their brain. Shattered reflections and the positive feedback I received through it helped me get myself together enough to write this chapter. I'm honestly sorry and very grateful for the ones still reading.
Chapter Text
Yu Ziyuan stood at the Lotus Cove looking at her tea cup absentmindedly. Her eyes were blank, the past few days were packed with planning and preparing, but with Cangse Sanren on the way, Wei Changze was helping her husband with the paperwork like old times and the kids were tended to. She sighed. She had sent everyone away, because she wanted some peace, but the heavy silence seemed to crush her. She drowned in a feeling of emptiness, a similar feeling to her previous afterlife.
The rage, who had been her companion her entire life, had left, leaving space for exhaustion and feeling of emptiness and grief. Death was supposed to be the end of it, the freedom after a life of suffering, but she hadn’t been granted that relief. The gods must have looked at her actions and refused her entrance to the reincarnation cycle.
After death she had a long time to think over her actions and the burning rage against the injustice in the world slowly disappeared. She felt more guilt when she saw how her children grew isolated, their bond broke and they lost themselves.
Seeing her little A-Cheng balance rebuilding a ruined sect, raising a child, training, night hunts and the grief of losing his entire family, had not only been eye-opening but also heartbreaking.
Seeing her beautiful and kind A-Li die, while trying to mediate the conflict between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin and the entirety of the cultivation world, had made her feel an indescribable despair and grief, the knowledge her grandson had become an orphan leaving a pain unlike any she had experienced.
And lastly Wei Wuxian, little A-Xian, the orphan she had harboured such resentment towards, just an innocent child, a victim of the circumstances, a tortured soul, tainted by the darkness and cruelty of the world. It was after seeing Wei Wuxians sacrifices for her family, she truly grew to respect the boy and regret her cruelty towards him. Death really did change a person, after all the ambitions one held became meaningless, the feelings dulled down and the view of the events crystal clear.
Silence hung over the Lotus Cove, the madam lost in thoughts and the voices from outside drowned out.
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Meanwhile, within the Koi Tower, the voices of Madam Jin and her husband resonated loudly. Their occasional arguments were nothing out of the ordinary, but the sect leader raising their voice in response was a rare and unsettling sight. Servants discreetly left the floor, and even the guards were instructed to give the quarrelling couple some privacy, waiting patiently at the foot of the stairs. Madam Jin and her husband had insisted that everyone leave them to their dispute, a command the servants promptly heeded. No one possessed the audacity to entangle themselves in their heated argument.They placed a silencing talisman over the entire floor, a gesture of extravagance that was in ironic harmony with the sect's ancient, extravagant reputation and generations worth of hidden misery in the den of snakes. Despite the talisman's significant muffling effect on most of the clamor, the loudest of the screams still found a way to reach the ears of the guards. The argument between the two heads of their sect shaking the foundation of the tower, their screams like echoes of a silenced storm.
The discussion was obviously about Jin Guangshan's affairs, specifically madam Meng's, since Jin Guangshan accidentally slipped up and mentioned Meng Yao's relation to him. While his affairs were not necessarily a secret, him so blatantly talking about his affairs in public, pushed the madam over the edge. He put the madam in an awkward position and made her look like a fool. Then he insisted that the child should be thrown out. Madam Jin told him that he should at least take responsibility for his actions, because she won't back down from her promise. She would not be called unreliable just because of her husband's irresponsibility and unfilial behaviour.
Jin Zixuan was trying to comfort Meng Yao to the best of his abilities. He clumsily pulled the other into a hug and patted his back. He looked unsure, not really confident in his people skills, let alone in his ability to be a good older brother, but the younger of the two seemed to stop trembling, so he couldn’t be half as bad. He softly drew circles just as his nanny used to when he was upset when younger. Now he was obviously a big boy, so he didn’t cry anymore. Don’t ask his nanny though, she was an unreliable source for information.
„It will be okay, A-Niang always wins, you'll stay and I'll get to be your super awesome older brother!" he whispered with a genuine smile. He truly believed in his mother and his father would see how amazing A-Yao is. He didn't quite understand why his father was so mad, after all having another son would be great right? Especially a kind and handsome one like Meng Yao!
Meng Yao just smiled weakly at his brother's attempt at cheering him up.Even though he truly appreciated his brother's efforts he tried not to cry at the harsh words of his father. He was used to this treatment even in his small town. However he had hoped for a new beginning, when he agreed to follow this stranger, who claimed to be his stepmother. His mother had looked so excited, she dressed him up in his best robes, carefully brushing and styling his hair, all that while talking about how much better his life would get. His mothers bright smile and shining eyes lit a small torch of hope in his heart. It was that small torch that was crushed by his so-called father. He silently cried in his brother's arms, soft sobs shaking his body as his brother rocked him back and forth, while whispering assurances and shushing him. The world was cruel, his father just another one of the things that highlighted the injustice and cruelty of the world.
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Meanwhile back in Lotus pier Jiang Fengmian was sulking. He assumed that Madam Yu was also sulking elsewhere. It had only been a day since he introduced Wei Changze to his children, but he already got along with them way better than Jiang Fengmian ever did.
„And that's why my third Shixiong isn't allowed near arrows or kites anymore." Jiang Cheng finished his dramatic story, with a tired sigh, while his dogs surrounded him, his sister and his martial uncle. He was lying against one of the dogs while petting another and he looked so happy and peaceful. His chubby face was shining with excitement of having someone except his sister listen to his stories, a bright smile stretched across his face, the sunlight dancing in his eyes, making them glow. How Jiang Fengmian hadn’t seen in his last life, how adorable his son was, was truly a riddle to him.
Changze just nodded along and commented or asked questions every now and then, which made Jiang Cheng even more eager to tell his story. Now Yanli was also telling the story of how Jiang Cheng believed he was one of the dogs for a while and her little brother was pouting. He huffed annoyed and kept complaining, however he also seemed to be enjoying their conversation.
Jiang Fengmian couldn't stand it anymore. He wanted to be a part of that, but as soon as he joined everyone stopped talking to greet him. The kids and Changze quickly scrambled to get up and bow politely in greeting. Silence fell over the small group, as the kids awkwardly looked at the two adults, who seemed tense. Realising that he had ruined the atmosphere Jiang Fengmian shuffled in his place and said the first thing that came to his mind.
„So how do you like your martial uncle?" he asked the kids with a smile and instantly the children's face lit up. A bit of jealousy swirled in his gut, he tried to suppress it, but Jiang Cheng's next words stung quite a bit.
„He's so amazing ! He has travelled so much so he can tell many stories and he's also really-" Jiang Cheng stopped seeing the sour expression on his father's face. Even though it was gone, his smile still looked a little weird. Meanwhile his martial uncle was grinning triumphantly. Jiang Cheng looked down, thinking he managed to piss his father off and now his father would ignore him again. Just when he was excited about meeting his new Shishu this had to happen. Jiang Cheng shuffled awkwardly as his sister discreetly held his hand hiding both their arms behind their backs. He smiled at her before his face fell again.
„Who's more amazing? Your a-die or your Shishu?" Jiang Fengmian asked, glaring at his friend. Jiang Cheng gaped awkwardly, he stared at his Shishu’s smiling face and knew who he’d choose, but his fathers sharp smile and his tense demeanour made him unsure. He looked at his sister who looked equally awkward. They both were thinking about how to let their father down softly.
„Uhmm... A-Niang!" Jiang Cheng called out relieved, when his mother walked towards them, quickly running into his mothers arms. Yu Ziyuan looked at the two men in front of her with a questioning glare. The two of them looked away awkwardly while seemingly growing smaller by the minute. They started inspecting the floor with an interested gaze. She then looked at her son, who had run into her arms and buried his face in her shoulder. He looked stressed.
„What happened?" she asked sharply, making the two men flinch and look at each other like toddlers, who just caused some mischief.
“Oh my lady, I have a lot of paperwork waiting for me. I have to get back to work.” Jiang Fengmian said, before he quickly scrambled away.
“I have to obviously help him, if you’ll excuse me madam.” Changze bowed politely before he scrambled after the cowardly sect leader.
“They really are worse than toddlers.” Yu Ziyuan said with a sigh. Jiang Cheng copied her sigh and looked up at her excitedly. “Thank god you are better than them” Yu Ziyuan said to her kids, picking up Yanli in her other arm. The young girl seemed surprised, but happy by her attention and leaned on her mothers shoulder.
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Cangse looked at the older woman sheepishly. “So in conclusion we need your help.” she said casually.
“Cangse, why are you like this?” the older woman said, glaring down at the younger, who was avoiding eye contact. “What do you need me to do?” she sighed. The younger one perked up excitedly. Baoshan Sanren could feel a headache on the way. She had almost gotten used to the calm, but the gods must have forsaken her because out of all of her disciples, the one to return was Cangse. The biggest troublemaker and until recently the problem of literally anyone else.
“Well I’m glad you asked because-” Cangse begun, but was cut off by a loud screech, a pained shout and an evil cackle. Cangse sighed, she recognised that cackle and by the amused look at her mentor's face she also guessed. She quickly hurried out just to come across an especially peculiar sight.
“Shixiong? How?” Cangse asked her martial brother, Lai Longwei, the definition of a gentle giant, tall, muscular with the personality of a curious little puppy. He was the best at cheering up others and he adored kids. Kids were often intimidated by him, which broke his heart. Cangse still remembered all the times, she comforted him, after kids ran away from him in fear, fondly. He was truly a sweetheart.
So why was her adorable little gremlin hanging off of his hair laughing, with her Shixiong looking on the verge of tears and trying to gently peel the little guy's hands off his hair, but Wei Ying was great at getting away. Cangse sighed again, she quickly grabbed her kid who looked surprised at being caught and let go for long enough for Lai Longwei to hide behind Bai Shaoqing, who was significantly smaller and leaner and didn’t cover him in the least.
“A-Ying, I told you to be nice.” Cangse said disappointed but not surprised. Wei Ying looking up confused didn’t help. He seemed to not see anything wrong with what he just did. Cangse sighed, before they passed away it had been Changze, who educated him and after they died Madam Yu had taken care of it. She might not have done a great job at it, but Wei Wuxian having a shred of discretion was not Cangse’s doing. If anything she had been better at undoing it.
“A-Ying if you hurt somebody, you say sorry and when you pull or tug on someone harshly it hurts them.” Cangse tried, Wei Ying was a compassionate kid, so she hoped it worked. Surprisingly it did, the kid teared up, turning to cwith big puppy eyes. The man flinched before he basically melted at the child’s innocent look.
“A-Ying hurt Lai-ge?” he asked, as he passed by the unfazed Bai Shaoqing, who barely stepped to the side ignoring the other’s betrayed look. Lei Xueqin and Long Xiurong snickered, but scrambled as soon as Cangse glared at them. “A-Ying is sorry, will Lai-ge forgive him?”
“Of course, A-Ying,” Lai Longwei said, also tearing up. Once Wei Ying jumped into his arms they both started wailing. Cangse looked at her mentor, who seemed amused.
“Well, well, well. Looks like you got yourself quite the troublemaker A-Se” Baoshan Sanren said, voice filled with schadenfreude. “What a shame.”
“Mama!”
Chapter 7: About the updates
Chapter Text
Writing this author's note at 3:30 am on new years. I am not sure at what pace this will update. Especially since I will be entering finals in April and I really have a lot of studying to catch up to since my physical health and mental health made me miss a lot of material. I’m sorry for the lack of any winter specials and overall updates, but hopefully I will be able to be at a better point in life around this time next year. I might be able to move out of this place which drains me and finally have more energy to invest in things I enjoy like writing this story for you. 2023 has not been my year, but I have high hopes for 2024. Let’s just wait and see how everything turns out. I will attach this to the next chapter, which if all goes well will be published within this week or the next, but just wanted to give you guys a little update, considering how quiet I have been. No, my story has not been dropped, I’m working on it. Sorry for making all of you wait, I have half the chapter written, so I will probably manage. Thank you all for your love and support across the platforms and for waiting for my irregular updates. You guys are honestly the best.
Chapter 8: Keeping up with the Lans
Summary:
Lan Qiren finally snaps at his brother for his irresponsible actions.
Notes:
This chapter is cut short cause I wanted to only focus on the Lan's conflict, the next one will be longer and I'm already working on it. Sorry for the delay I had forgotten that I had six assignments due last week, so I was a tad bit stressed, but I'm going to try updating more often.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Well the Wen was right. This is the cure, but when did you get this and why?” Cangse asked absentmindedly, drinking the blend of tea the Lans had served her. It had an earthy taste and was probably very high-quality, but it all tasted the same to Cangse who didn’t really care about tea. She watched as Lan Wangji was dragged around by her son, but seemed pretty unbothered about it. She smiled, it was great her son already befriended his future husband, maybe they should have them engaged earlier, so there is no room for misunderstanding.
“The Wens did a surprise investigation saying something about suspicious behaviour, I think the meeting was seen.” Madam Lan spoke softly and her husband just nodded along. “I don’t quite know why.” she lied with a soft smile and a look of confusion.
“I see. Well my mother agreed to take a look at you, so she will be here soon. She is also going to get the Yin Iron before the seal can break. Something about fixing her friend's foolishness.” Cangse shrugged, not wanting to dig into her new friend's past too much.
“Yes, what else did you discuss?” Madam Lan asked her. She hadn’t touched her tea making Cangse wonder if it was poisoned for a moment, before deciding she was over dramatic and finishing her cup in act of pettiness towards her mind. Madam Lan immediately filled her cup again, totally not suspicious.
“I don’t think I can tell you that quite yet” Cangse simply said and while Qingheng-Jun seemed annoyed he kept quiet and Madam Lan kept a composed smile.
“Alright then, a different topic, what do you think of engaging A-Zhan and A-Ying?” Madam Lan said. The resulting sight was glorious. Qingheng-Jun choked on his drink and Madam Lan turned to him alert, Lan Qiren, who had come in as Cangse answered tripped and looked absolutely horrified, probably remembering his goatee being cut off, Lan Xichen also looked surprised but tried to hide it and help his uncle up. Lan Zhan and Wei Ying just looked confused.
“En-ga-what?” Wei Ying asked, tilting his head to the side and Lan Zhan mimicked the movement.
“Engaged, A-Ying, it means you promise to get married in the future, like Mama and Baba.” Cangse explained to her child. Well her and Changze weren’t exactly engaged, but well the kids don’t need to know the details. “Don’t worry Qiren, you look way better without that beard.”
The mentioned touched his face offended. While Lan Huan tried not to laugh next to him. Must have taken after his mother.
“I’m against it. My nephew is not marrying a child of Cangse Sanren.” Lan Qiren said resolutely.
“Qiren, I don’t think you get a choice here.” Qingheng-Jun said calmly. Shutting down his brother's protest, but Lan Qiren wouldn’t back off that easily.
“Oh so now you care? Who deserves a voice? That woman?” He said, his tone was sharp, it cut through the Lan couple’s calm demeanour like a knife. Both of them piped up at the same time.
“I’m their mother! Of course I get to decide what’s best for them.” “Qiren watch how you talk to your sister-in-law, she is their mother.”
Lan Qiren laughed bitterly. He glared and for a moment Cangse remembered all her arguments with Yu Ziyuan. The venomous words he was about to spew would be cruel as they were true. She got up to leave the family to discuss it more privately. Also to remove the kids but when she went to grab them they both ran to Lan Qiren. Madam Lan tried to persuade them to leave with her, as Lan Qiren watched without interfering.
“You see how much you have failed as a mother? Your children don’t even listen to you, even though they know to respect their elders.” He said, while glaring at her before he turned to the boys and his face became more neutral. “Lan Huan take your brother and leave, please.”
Lan Huan looked hesitant but he grabbed his brother, who stubbornly held on to his uncle.
“No.” Lan zhan said.
“A-Zhan, please go with your brother.” Madam Lan tried again, trying to ignore Lan Qiren’s harsh words. But the kid didn’t budge.
“Uncle Upset.” he said simply holding on tighter. Lan Qiren sighed and looked at his youngest nephew.
“It’s fine, you can go. I need to talk about adult matters with your parents.” Lan Qiren said to Lan Zhan, trying to calm the boy.
“About A-Zhan?”
“Well actually, A-Zhan what do you think about being engaged?” Madam Lan asked, to spite Lan Qiren. Afterall her son was already fond of Wei Ying he would agree. As the closest friend he ever had, A-Zhan wouldn’t want to let him go. He took after his father after all.
“No.”
“No?” Madam Lan said, surprised. How come? They were getting along well. Wasn’t A-Zhan meant to always end up with Wei Ying? This didn’t make sense. Cangse shifted awkwardly as Wei Ying looked at her helplessly. They both wanted to leave.
“No.” He said before he finally followed his brother away from the argument and Cangse also quickly followed, not wanting to interrupt the argument.
“See you don’t even know your son, because you didn’t raise him.” Qiren said. He looked unbothered, having proven his point.
“Do you think I had a choice? You think I wanted to be locked up here, but I didn’t get a choice. So can you stop acting like I’m the worst mother.” Madam Lan said, raising her voice, because she was getting increasingly agitated by Lan Qiren’s unbothered expression.
“Well you can’t call this no choice. You committed murder and are facing the consequences of it, don’t you dare act like a victim. You barely got a punishment, because you married my brother, so how dare you complain.” Lan Qiren said coldly.
“Qiren watch yourself, I’m still the sect leader and you are questioning my judgement and authority.” Qingheng-Jun sternly interjected.
“Oh so you remember you are a sect leader now? Where was that realisation a decade ago? You left all of your responsibilities and went into seclusion, had kids, didn’t care about them, brought in a criminal, didn’t even let them face the consequences and now I’m the bad guy for expecting justice?” Lan Qiren was seething. “You think you and your wife can just wander in and out of people’s lives as you want? You think you can just come in here and make demands, after I picked up after you for years?”
Qingheng-Jun took a deep breath, attempting to maintain his composure in the face of his brother's mounting anger. “Listen Qiren, I understand it was tough for you, but I will take responsibility now. You deserve to take a step back and enjoy some respite and enjoy your youth.”
Lan Qiren scoffed at the ridiculous offer. It was a dead olive branch that he was offered and he was not willing to accept that after his sacrifices. “Are you serious? Now you’re concerned about me? Are you joking right now?” Lan Qiren was breathing heavily, his anger rolling off him in waves. It was worrying, especially remembering his tendencies to Qi-deviate in the future. But he hadn’t gone on that nighthunt that destabilised his core and had him fall unconscious for a month, so he should be fine. He would never go on that night hunt if Qingheng-Jun had anything to say about it.
“Do you know how old I am?” he questioned sharply.
“You’re twenty-six, but I don’t understand why it’s relevant.” Qingheng-Jun replied, seeming annoyed by his brother’s anger.
“Oh really, then how old is Lan Huan?”
“Nine, honestly do you think I’m that inattentive?”
“Well if you are truly that attentive you probably noticed that I was a little younger than seventeen, when you relinquished your parental duties and forfeited your parental rights.” His gaze bore into his brothers, trying to convey the weight of their actions. “I was handed a six month old separated from his mother, who is a murderer and ignored by his neglectful father. You think you can just come out of seclusion and everything is fine? No it isn’t. You need to earn your place as a parent and forcing an engagement is not the way to do it.”
Even fueled by anger, he didn’t raise his voice. Years of discipline still kept him in check. He tried to regain his composure, aware that their argument broke too many of the infamous Lan rules. The situation however demanded a breach of rules, it was a rare circumstance after all.
“I will not change my opinion about either of you, unless you prove me wrong. Which I doubt you will.” He whirled around and walked away with a sneer, his posture stiff and still radiating annoyance.
Madam Lan could feel her head spinning, as a dull ache followed. Her husband hurried to her side and she collapsed in his arms.
“Are we truly bad parents?”
Notes:
I have an idea for a love interest for Qiren, but wanted to ask what y'all would think about it? And I'll also take guesses about their identity, cause I'm torn between an OC (you can guess their status or sect, gender, personality) or an actual character (you guys can guess who). I have too many ideas and I need to brainstorm them, since my friends aren't into mdzs, you guys are my advisors on this one, thank you for reading and supporting my story🩵🩵🩵
Chapter 9: Quiet moments
Notes:
The chapters are short, but I was sick and couldn't get out of bed so this is all for now, I'm trying to update this more, cause I feel sorry for neglecting this for so long
Chapter Text
“Meng Shi is staying here and Meng Yao at the Jin’s, so that we can keep an eye on both of them. Meng Yao might have gotten his sleaziness from his father, but his mother’s intelligence and cunning mind are not to be underestimated.” Yu Ziyuan had said. While she seemed to dislike the idea, she knew this was necessary. Like drinking bitter medicine, not favourable, but a necessary evil.
They still hadn’t discussed what to do with Mo Xuanyu and other possible bastards. Mostly because that would mean they would have to acknowledge the disgusting crimes Jin Guangshan committed. Mo Xuanyu would be born in three years, young lady Mo was currently 13. How many more young girls had suffered because of him? And was Lady Mo the youngest? They didn’t want to know but they’d have to face it.
Changze considered himself a righteous and quite durable person, especially after all the horrors he witnessed after death. But being alive again, made him feel things more intensely and the things that seemed bearable, now haunted him. A perpetual feeling of nausea and rage followed him. Without his wife and son it felt even worse. There was no real consolation.
Even worse, the child Jiang Cheng, whom he had directed his resentment towards after his son had died, was a lovely kid. He was a little grumpy, but he cared a lot, he loved fiercely, he loved listening to travellers stories and he loved helping. He always listened to Changze’s stories and showed interest in the sect matters. He hung out with the lower disciple’s and tried to help solve problems. He was a good kid and it was clear as day he’d be a great sect leader one day. The fact no one truly saw his potential, just further proved how they had neglected Jiang Cheng. He was responsible, cared about his people and was willing to learn from others' experiences
If Wei Ying was wild, strong, a genius and free spirited like a river, Jiang Cheng was reliable, hardworking, responsible and attentive like a dock, giving people a place to anchor, prosper and seek shelter. They had different strengths and while Wei Ying’s strength made him a great fighter and his intelligence made him a great inventor, his wild and free nature made him unfit to be a sect leader. He had his strengths, but being tied to a sect with so many responsibilities, would have ruined him. Meanwhile Jiang Cheng was a born leader, he knew how to bear the responsibilities and he could earn and keep his people’s respect, loyalty and admiration. Even Changze had started to adore the headstrong boy.
“Uncle Wei! Hi!” The grap- Jiang Cheng ran towards him and Changze swept the boy up. “Good morning, Uncle Wei.” He held the boy on his side as Yanli ran to his other side, she seemed out of breath but really excited. Changze also picked up the eight year old, who seemed surprised at also being picked up, but just smiled.
“Guess what? The Nie brother’s are coming to visit next week and apparently the younger one uhh.. Huaisang! also likes animals.” Jiang Cheng explained. He was a lot happier and more cheerful, he practically glowed from all the attention and affection he received.
“That’s great A-Cheng you can introduce him to your dogs then!” Changze said as he started walking towards the training grounds, where Madam Yu was still training the disciple’s, it would soon be moved to him as he got his position as second in charge back, they had decided to stay until Wei Wuxian was old enough to seek help if something happened to them and the Wen threat was lifted. As he listened to Jiang Cheng’s rambling he felt a little fondness towards the child. He was truly innocent and just excited to meet a friend, who liked animals as much as he did. Speaking of which, Changze had to make sure Fengmian wouldn’t do something stupid like giving the dogs away again.
_________
“Cangse! What on earth are you doing snooping around the baths like a pervert?” said the voice behind her, making Cangse almost jump out of her skin. She turned around sheepishly scratching the back of her head.
“I was just looking for you!” she tried to explain herself and winced when she realised how much worse it sounded.
“For what exactly, to watch me bathe?” Qiren said, folding his hands in front of his chest. His hair was still damp, and the robes had obviously been thrown on quickly upon hearing the intruder, since they were messier and more revealing, than they were when properly worn. Cangse had to admit that Qiren was an objectively attractive guy especially without the goatee, but she was a married woman, of course she would say:
“Yes, my favourite pastime activity is to watch pretty maidens and cultivators bathe.”
Her grin fell, when Qiren looked at her unimpressed. Geez this guy had no humour. Alright she’d be honest.
“Alright alright that was a joke.”
“I only watch maidens.” she whispered to herself, if nobody appreciated her comical genius, she’d amuse herself.
“I just wanted to check up on you, that was a pretty big argument.” she finally said somberly, dropping the jokes.
“And what made you think I’d talk to you out of all people?” Qiren asked with an eyebrow raised, seeming sceptical at the prospect of a heart to heart with the bane of his existence throughout her time at cloud recess.
“Well you don’t have any close friends and well they aren’t here, so I think I as an outsider am your best bet.”
_________
“So I had to immediately return home, leaving them alone, because I chose my duty to my family over my feelings. They were understanding at first, but they were upset at my brother, but I idolised my brother and didn’t want to hear it. We argued and we didn’t see or talk to each other. I don’t regret taking in the kids, they are one of the few good things in my life, but maybe I made a mistake along the way. I know I still have time to apologise and fix things. But I don’t know if my apology will make everything better and I don’t want to taint our good memories. I always thought I had no choice but to sacrifice anything and as long as I did well raising them, it would be worth it in the end, but I’m not their parent. Now their real parents are back and they won’t need me anymore, my brother will take charge again and I’ll just become useless. With no purpose. Everything I sacrificed will be pointless and forgotten.” Qiren explained. Cangse listened attentively while sipping her tea, it was a simple green tea this time, she appreciated it. She had mentioned that she didn’t really like special blends and preferred simple ones like green tea, when they had been out as a group during their studies and Qiren had apparently remembered. He was a pretty good friend when he didn’t complain about them breaking the rules. Well he had stopped that at one point thanks to a pretty distraction, but unfortunately that distraction wasn’t here now.
“First of all just because their parents are back in their life, doesn’t mean you will be forced out of it. You are still their uncle and the kids love you. This won’t change. Secondly your sacrifices to keep the sect going and raise the kids have been acknowledged, even if your brother didn’t realise, the elders did, the other sect leaders did and the kids also did. Trust me they see how hard you try and they appreciate it.” she started. Qirens problems were not going to be solved with just one conversation, but actually listening and talking to him, would at least strengthen their friendship. At least if he knew he could rely on her he wouldn’t self-destruct in silence. “Also I think you should at least try to talk. Leaving something unfinished will haunt you into your next life, if it doesn’t work out you can at least find peace, not chasing after what if’s and how it could have been. Trust me you don’t want to carry your regrets to your grave.”
Qiren looked conflicted, but when he saw the shadow of the children at the door, he decided to end the conversation and take time to think about everything they discussed. They had been talking for a while before he finally decided to tell her about what’s actually been bothering him.
“I’ll consider your words.” Qiren said almost mechanically.” You can leave now, it’s evening. You travelled a long way, you should rest.”
Cangse got up as Qiren ushered her out of his office, she was a little confused until she saw the Lan brothers lingering in front of the door. She smiled ruffling their hair as she walked by to the guest dormitories. Qiren was in good hands now, she thought smiling as she picked up her son from a dishevelled Lan disciple, who looked extremely exhausted. Poor thing, A-Ying really was a little terror at times. She bowed to thank the disciple before she hurried off, listening to her son recount his time with the poor Lan disciple’s.
_____
Qingheng-Jun wanted to talk to his brother properly, he should have calmed down by now and he probably understood that he was too harsh. If Qiren cared so much he would have protected Wangji from punishment, he wouldn’t have been so harsh to Wei Ying. After all, Qiren wasn’t flawless in the least. The earlier his brother accepted that he was going to be in his children's life the easier it would be for everyone. He couldn’t keep holding the past against them.
When he walked into his brother's room after a short knock, the view he saw made him decide not to bother Qiren today. Qiren had fallen asleep on his back as always, but the difference was that now his nephew’s had curled up against him. They all seemed at peace like that. It would be a crime to disturb that scene.
He would talk about everything some other day. They would surely have enough time to discuss everything.
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