Chapter Text
Bucky POV
*wakanda* (before FATWS)
It’s not like Bucky misses the time before the winter soldier, he would just rather have died falling from the train and not have taken the lives of all the individuals that he took.
He sat up in bed looking over to the window over looking the Wakanda jungle, he was staying in Shuris lab. Shuri wanted to catch up and check if everything was ok with the arm and everything and she had a few upgrades.
His nightmares had been getting worse.
Nothing was worse than starting to remember people plead for mercy as you snap their nexts or shoot their loved ones in the head.
He got up and got ready today, trying not to think about last nights nightmare, if he did he didn’t think he could leave his room.
It was a mission around about the 1995 time. Winter was in the shadows with a few hydra soldiers- mission terminate everyone trying to stop the protest. The asset didn’t know what the protest was for- the asset didn’t need to know- but hydra wanted this protest to get out of hand. Winter climbed onto a roof of a house on the street of the protest. Gun in hand. He aimed a shot many men.
Then he saw Her. A woman out of place very much like the other people stopping the protest, he did not hesitate and shot them.
Bucky now knows who she was. She was a Wakandan spy, who had herd of the protest and like others tried to stop it from getting out of hand. He had seen her grave when walking in the lands of Wakanda, it bore a picture of her and he recognised her.
He had killed an wakandan.
He shook his head. He was going back too Brooklyn today. That means one day till Steve’s funeral. It’s only been 3 months since he died after leaving him after Starks funeral. He had moved into an apartment in Brooklyn near where he used to live during the war.
Bucky walked out the room he was given and followed the Dora milaji to the jet parked outside, T’Challa and Shuri were already on the jet- as They were also going to the funeral. He nodded greeting to them and sat down as the jet took off.
“So White Wolf, how have the nightmares been?” Shuri asks out of blue. Bucky looked up and shrugs,
“I don’t want to talk about them” he replied. He wasn’t in the mood to confess that he shot a wakandan.
“Hmm ok, was just looking for conversation”
“Shuri you shouldn’t use bucky’s mental health as a conversation started” T’challa says from the other side of the jet, Bucky chuckled and Shuri made an annoyed expression. Yeah, he didn’t want to upset his new family.
About 12 hours later, after a few convosations about multiple things- Shuri did go back and try and use Bucky’s mental health as a convosation when they had ran out of things to talk about- they landed in New York. Bucky said farewell to the two Siblings till tomorrow and went to his apartment.
As he opened the door he was greeted by the faint meow from alpine as she came trotting down the hall to his feet. Bucky smiled and put down his bags and picked her up. He carried her to the sofa and turned the tv on- the news or something, he didn’t care- and placed Alpine on his knee.
He felt himself fall, slowly, to sleep.
Pain.
Nothing but pain.
Electricity to his head.
Burning.
Shouts, screams.
Guns.
Words.
Screams.
Screams.
Screams!
He jumped awake, startling Alpine, he looked around frantically, sweating pools of sweat. Alpine nudged him and he came to his senses.
“Thank you alpine, I don’t know what I would do without you” he whispers to her. He checked his watch, 5am, there is no point in going to sleep now he needs to be at the funeral in 3 and a half hours.
3 hours of trying to find stuff to distract his mind he decided to tackle the New York traffic and get there early.
45 minutes later he arived at the church where Steve’s funeral was taking place, tones of press were outside taking pictures- why did Steve chose the church in the middle of New York- the cab he was in pulled up by the guest only entrance. Sam was already there along with other Avengers and people that knew Steve personally. He got out and Sam came over straight away.
“Hey man, you doin okay?” He asked as he approached bucky, he nodded,
“Just want to get this over with” Sam nodded back and gestures to walk into the church with him. As they walked in a young Peter Parker was dropped off and quickly followed them, as he didn’t want the press to see him go in.
The service was like any other, talking about his life- this was the first time bucky had heard of what Steve did in his new life.
After the service the guests went to a local cafe with a park, bucky didn’t want to talk to anyone, yes he missed Steve but he is also annoyed at Steve for leaving him without saying why, and breaking their lifetime bond promise- till the end of the line- well then that was utter bullshit.
He put his hands to his head as he sat down on the slightly soggy grass. Sam came and sat with him for a bit but had to leave, Torres had gotten him a mission and had to leave.
About 20 minutes later he looked up to see Peter Parker, the young webslinger was sitting in the corner of the park not very far away, so Bucky slowly walked over,
“Hey- urm Peter? Could I sit here?” Peter looked up to the sound of his name and looked a bit baffled but nodded. Bucky smiled as he sat down on the grass next to him.
“You ok Peter?” Bucky asked seeing the boy starting to stare of into the distance, Peter turned to him,
“To be honest… No, Mr Barns sir” Bucky turned to him properly
“You can talk to me kid, and call me Bucky” Peter smiled but Bucky noticed tears,
“Aunt May passed away last week, I didn’t even think I could cope coming here today and- I”
“Hey hey kid, it’s ok- do… do you want a hug? I don’t normally good hugs or anything like that… you can have one-“ Peter suddenly hugs Bucky and He hugs him back “just don’t tell Sam” after he states that he can hear a slight giggle and Peter pulls away, he wipes his eyes,
“Thank you Mr Bucky”
“No problem kid, you got a place to go after this?” Bucky asked, peter looked down at the grass,
“Of corse Mr Bucky, why wouldn’t I have a place to go?”
“I was just wondering, anyway want to get out of here, it’s getting boring”
“You sure? I thought Captain America was your best friend?”
“Yeah… he was until he ditched me for a girl he fell in love with and kissed once”
“Urm, not assuming anything but did you see Him as more than friends?” Bucky eyed Peter, who was looking at him with wide eyes
“Erm… yes”
“HA! I KNEW IT!” Peter shouted, people in the park looked over with confused looks and he quiets down giggiling
“But- he didn’t see me that way, I know as we were bored one day on the front lines, and us and the howling commandos were talking about opinions about men on men love and steve said he supported it, but would never see himself with a guy, I said the same thing… as I wasn’t ready to come out”
“I’m sorry to hear that… if it helps, I’m Trans, it was really hard to come out to my Aunt and Uncle, but when I did they were very supportive and helped me through my changes”
“That’s good of them, and I had no idea that you were trans” Peter nods to this, “let’s go shall we? We can go somewhere to eat?”
Peter perks up at the mention of food “yes!” Bucky smiled and lead him out of the cafe saying bye to the other people still there at the pub.
In the cab Bucky directed them to buckys apartment,
“I need I pick up something, maybe a couple of things” he lightly smiles at Peter who nods
He leads Pete up to hi appartment and opens he door, as soon as it opens he could hear the light patter of paw prints and peter gasps,
“You have a cat?!” Bucky laughs, as alpine comes over and rubs her head on buckys leg.
“Yes, this is Alpine, she is technically my emotional support cat, but she doesn’t like to go on planes so I can’t take her to Wakanda and show Shuri” Peter kneels down and pats her head,
“She is so cute, and Shuri would love her!”
“Yeah, right I’m going to get the harness” Bucky says
“Wait! We taking her with us!” Peter says excitedly
“Of course we are, I find it hard going into cafes and other places like that, also I thought she would cheer both us up” Bucky says putting the service animal harness onto her. Peter at this point is almost jumping up and down in excitement.
About ten minutes later they arrive at a small cafe, that Bucky comes too a lot, he and Peter sit down and order, alpine jumps onto buckys lap and curls up. They order.
“So, Peter want to tell me what you have been up too since I last saw you…?”
Peter looks up from his scone, “oh urm you know spidering?”
“I thought so, I’ve seen a lot of you on social media this past week, more than usual, are you going out as spider as a distraction from your grief?”
Peter is taken aback, he takes a moment “yes… and to get out of my new home… my foster father isnt that great, I tend to sneak out of the house alot.”
Bucky nods, “when I escaped from HYDRA I was so overwhelmed by the feelings I was feeling, I started to get grief for people I had murdered, even though I didn’t even know their names.” As he started talking Alpine sat up and let Bucky stroke her. “Anyway let’s talk about something else! Want to know how I tricked Steve onto dates?” Peter laughed,
“You tricked him onto dates with you?”
“Yup”
“How?!”
“Alright calm down” Bucky chuckled, “you know how I knew he straight”
“Yeah”
“So i found these two girls who I had asked if they wanted to go on a double date with Steve, so we went on this date to… Stark expo…”
“Stark expo! With Howard Stark?!”
“Haha yes, he promised us flying cars by now” Peter laughs
“We we’re watching him show the eventions and I was watching streve, he was only small then, barely breathing, but I would have done anything to protect him. But I was going to be taken to the front line the next day, so that was the last day I saw him as skinny and little Steve.”
“Awww that’s so cute, so the next time you saw him was when you were… kidnapped?” Bucky nods
“I was experimented on by Zola, given the super soldier serum. Then Steve came in all big and all burning down the building we were in and saved me, then we became the howling commandos”
“That’s awesome, then you fell of the train and was found by hydra and became the winter soldier” Bucky nodded
They finished their food and drinks and Bucky allowed Peter to direct the taxi to his home and he dropped him off.
“Thank you Mr Bucky! That was really fun, oh! Do you want my phone number?maybe we can make that cafe thing a regular thing?” Bucky smiled and Peter passed his phone to him and put his phone number in
“That would be great”