Chapter Text
“Say good bye to Daddy and get in the car.”
“Bye kiddos. I’ll miss you. Be good for your Dad.”
“Bye Daddy.”
“Bye.”
Katerina’s lip wobbled slightly and Severus, not for the first time, felt like someone was twisting a knife in his heart. She and Sirius had always had that special bond that was just between the two of them and Severus always felt like an asshole breaking them apart. Every fucking time.
Sirius slung an arm around her and kisses the top of her head. Severus squeezed her arm briefly before she slid into the back seat.
Evan just kept his eyes on his phone and jumped in after her. Barely said goodbye to his father.
Severus worried about him the most. (Older kids will often have the hardest time, the book had said).
“Thanks for getting them.”
“Of course.” Did you think I wouldn’t, Sirius?
“Remember Kat’s got her recital Thursday.”
Shit, he’d forgotten. “Right. Yeah. Of course.”
“If you can’t make it I’ll go instead.”
“It’s fine. I’ll make it.”
“She can’t be there by herself ag—“
“I’ll be there.”
Severus ground his back teeth together and Sirius gave him that look that says You better not fucking disappoint her again, you piece of shit. Severus knew that look well.
He got in the car without saying goodbye. He tried to push his bad mood away but his throat kept closing up whenever he thought of his husband. Ex, obviously — ex husband. Or soon to be anyway. He’d get used to it one day.
Supercilious prick, he thought. Easy to take the high road when you barely work fifteen hours a week —
“Dad?”
“Yes, honey?” Smile man. There, that’s it, you can do it.
“Will Paul be there this week?”
Fuck. “I’m not sure, honey. Maybe. Is that ok?”
There’s a shrug in the rear view mirror. Severus opened his mouth to say something, closed it. Opened it again. “Did you like him?”
“I guess.”
Severus swallowed. “That’s good.” His voice was about an octave too high.
“Evan?” He winced at himself then turned his head around briefly. Evan looked up from his phone; “Huh?”
“What did you think of—“
“—I dunno. Whatever.”
Don’t snap at him. This is hard for him, he’s just a child. “Ok.”
“Dad, Daddy doesn’t know Paul.”
“Sorry?”
“I asked Daddy and he said he’s never met him. Then he got all quiet and went upstairs and Evan let me play Minecraft and then when Daddy came downstairs we had ice cream.”
“Shut up, Kat,” Evan said while Severus tried to figure out what he was going to say.
“What?” Kat asked her brother and then Severus’s phone rang.
“Hang on a tic sweetie,” Severus grabbed for his ear piece. Saved by the bell. Bad father, he reminded himself. If it were Sirius he would have ignored the call and had a ‘proper conversation.’ But Sirius was always much better at these sorts of things than he was.
“Siri, answer call. … Snape. Yes. Yes. Yes. We’ll see what comes of the deposition but it’ll probably go to trial. I’m in the car right now but I’ll take a look when I get home. Is it—? Good. Fine. Ok — actually Sal? I’m going to need you to move the Thursday AT&T … I know … I know … I get that but I’m going to need you to do it anyway. I understand. Yes, four is” —cutting it close — “four is fine. Yep. Will do. Yes.”
He cuts the call, the kids are watching Evan’s phone and don’t look up. Severus doesn’t say anything the rest of the way home.
“My client wishes to have on record that both parties are currently successfully sharing custody of the two children equally and this arrangement has insofar been favourable to everyone in question.”
Across the other side of the table Sirius made a pft sound under his breath. Severus clenched his jaw and reminded himself not to react.
“Is this the custodial arrangement your client is requesting?”
“Correct. Joint physical on an alternating week schedule.”
“And both parties are in agreement?”
Severus looked at Sirius. Sirius aggressively avoided his eyes. You fucker, Severus thought.
“My client has reservations about the welfare of the children under this arrangement. We have outlined an alternative schedule here—“
Severus stopped listening at this point. It was hard to over the roaring of blood in his ears.
“Do we need to go over their offer again? They’ve indicated there’s some wiggle room. We could probably counter and settle somewhere closer to what you want. If you give them this we may be able to get them to move on other fronts.”
“No. We don’t budge. I won’t take anything less than 50/50. There’s nothing else. This is the only — I don’t care about anything else.”
“Okay. Noted.”
“I assume you can get me that?”
“There’s no reason we can’t get a good outcome for you. And they’re giving you joint legal so we really are in a very good position. You should be confident.”
“Except…”
“Except, I’ve seen these things stretch out for years where neither parties are willing to move. Are we willing to at least consider—”
“No.”
“The courts don’t like to keep parents from their kids. No abuse, no infidelity. We might need to consider the possibility that you might have a better outcome going to trial.”
“No. Not unless — No, that’s a last resort.”
“Daddy wants to speak to you.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Yup. Okay sweetie. Go play for a minute hm?” He took the phone from her still so small hand.
“Can I have an ice block?”
“Yup.” She knew when to take advantage of a situation, that kid. He opened the freezer and stared blankly and she smirked at him.
“I’ll get it daddy.”
He watched her bounce away and it’s not till she’d rounded the corner that he lifted the phone to his ear. “Yes?”
“If you couldn’t make it to the recital you could have told me, I would have gone myself. I told you that.”
“I was there.”
“That’s not what Kat said. ‘Dad wasn’t there when we finished and Sherry took me home.’ Jesus Christ, Severus. Your fucking secretary? Really?”
“Kat knows Sherry.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Look I was there, I watched her play, then I had to leave. Don’t tell me it’s important I watch ten other children who are not my own struggle through Mozart’s fifth now too.”
“She wanted you there, when she came out and other kids hugged their parents. You. Not fucking Sherry. You.”
He took a breath. “Yeah, I know. Shit, I know. I’ll make it up to her.”
“Right.”
“It was AT&T. That’s why I had to leave. We won.” He let out a small puff of air through his nose. Years of blood, sweat and tears reduced to a footnote.
“Oh. I did see something about that in — I was going to say something and — we’ve all been so — Hey that’s great, Severus. Really. I know you worked hard on that.”
Severus closed his eyes. Used to be that they would celebrate together when he had a high profile win like this. Used to be that his success was their success. Hadn’t been like that for years though, had it?
“You couldn’t have warned me you were going to screw me like that, Sirius?”
“You knew I wanted the kids with me more. We’ve talked about this.”
“I thought we’d agreed—“
“No Severus, you agreed. I said I wasn’t sure it would work.”
“You agreed to try.”
“Yeah and we have. Look how well it’s working. This is exactly what I’m taking about—”
“I explained that.”
“You can always explain everything, Severus.”
“I’m trying.”
“I know. I know you are. It’s not personal. It’s just— it’s just what’s best for the kids right now. Down the track, when they’re older, who knows?”
Severus let out an huff of laughter. “Right. Not personal. Seems pretty fucking personal to me.”
“Look, I don’t think we should be introducing them to new boyfriends just yet either. Not until everything’s settled.”
There it is. He knew this was related. “We talked about that. We agreed that we weren’t going to hide our lives from the kids. That it was disingenuous and false. You said that.”
“It’s not hiding, it’s just… being careful to not overwhelm them.”
“I discussed it with you first. You knew about it.”
“I just think they’ve got too much going on right now.”
“Fine.”
“Fine?”
“Fine, Paul won’t come here when the kids are here. Done. Anything else while you’ve got me by the balls?”
“Get fucked, Severus.”
“Nice. I’ve got to go, I’ve got work to do.”
“What’s new?”
“That’s funny, I seem to remember you enjoying the money I made.”
“Piss off,” Sirius said and hung up on him.
Severus threw his phone across the marble counter. “Bastard —Oh.” Shit. “Hey Ev. Sorry mate, that was just. Work stuff.” Evan raised an eyebrow at him. Your kids aren’t stupid, Severus. More’s the pity. He wondered just how much therapy his kids were going to need when they were older. “You hungry?”
His son shrugged and opened the fridge. “Nah,” he said and pulled out a can of Coke.
“Should you be drinking that?”
“Daddy lets me have them,” he said like that was the end of the discussion and walked out leaving Severus standing there like the world’s biggest wanker.
He’d met Sirius when he was 23 and in his final year of law school. Sirius had been in art school and was the most beautiful boy Severus had ever seen. (Still is, still is.) They’d met through Lily, of course. Sirius had been in that set that smoked pot out of glass bongs and had artists co-ops but never seemed to actually produce anything and pretended to read Nietzsche and quoted someone called Bukowski that Severus hadn’t liked to admit he’d never heard of. The people Severus went around with talked about the Scott vs Ohio case of ’89 and misinterpreted Nietzsche and whispered enviously about who joined Cravath and disparagingly about who had gone into public and popped Adderall and Adrafinil like they were candy. He’d thought Sirius was infuriating and the worst kind of poser and beautiful and spoilt and vain and vacuous and beautiful.
Severus had a steady, predictable boyfriend who was going to go into Mergers and Acquisitions and they had fancied themselves modern and cosmopolitan enough to have an open relationship, something they’d read about in magazines. Though really neither of them cared enough about the other to worry about who they slept with one way or another but both enjoyed the cache that came with what they imagined to be a mutually beneficial coupling of two people on the cusp of brilliant careers.
Sirius would fuck him on his unmade bed or on top of the bohemian throw rug on his couch and one day he said to Severus, You should break up with your boyfriend and Severus said okay and he did.
Beautiful boys like Sirius are bound to disappoint and Severus waited for him to, though he’d had a vague feeling that when he did it would hurt him on some deep level that he’d never known before, but instead they’d fallen in love and built a life together and raised two beautiful children and in the end it had been Severus who had been the one to disappoint. Except by then it hadn’t been just them and Severus had disappointed not only the beautiful boy from his dreams but their beautiful children as well.
He’d been wrong about him, in the end. He’d got lucky. It turned out Sirius was loyal and kind and fiercely intelligent and the best sort of father to his children that he could have asked for.
Still beautiful though. Always, always that.
“And how old are the children?”
“Ah, 8 and 11, Your Honour.”
“And are any of the parents the biological father?”
Severus cleared his throat. “Our daughter, Katerina is my biological child and our son, Evan is Sirius’s.”
“I see. And has the possibility of residing in different houses with their respective fathers been broached?”
“No—We’re both their — Severus.”
“The applicants are equal legal guardians of both children, Your Honour. The court has been provided with adoption papers. It’s not —“
“—We’re not doing that.”
“It’s not something either would like to consider. Both parties have agreed on that.” His and Sirius’s eyes meet and he sees a flicker of fear in his eyes. A strong, fierce urge to protect him flared up in Severus’s chest momentarily. He tried to smother it.
“And what of the mothers?”
“Mother. The children share the same mother. She has surrendered her legal rights to both children. We have provided the courts with documentation.”
“I see it. Good. Ok. So Mr Perez, your client is asking for…”
“We are seeking a 70/30 arrangement with the children with their other father on alternate weeks, Friday to Monday. Plus a holiday schedule that we have outlined on page 4.”
“What reasons do you have for rejecting a…” the judge squinted down at his papers, “50/50 split as requested by the other applicant?”
“Sirius has been the primary carer of the children since their birth. He has been the one to take the children to medical appointments, play dates, piano lessons, sports games and to pick the children up from school. Severus has a history of extended absences from the home and missed holidays, birthdays and extracurricular activities. My client feels that Severus would not be able to adequately care for the children during such time as they were in his care and that such an arrangement would not be in the children’s best interest.”
“And what are the reasons for these absences as your client sees it?”
“To be clear, this is in regards to Mr Snape’s work schedule.”
“Right. You work, what? 40 hours a week, Mr Snape? 50?”
“Sometimes.”
“Which is it?”
“Closer to the latter.”
“Right.”
“Your Honour, the fact is Severus consistently works upwards of 60 hours a week.”
“Would you say that was true, Mr Snape?”
“Sometimes, yes.” He heard his husband scoff from the other side of the table and his lip curled.
“Is it frequent or is it sometimes?”
“It’s not uncommon,” he conceded through clenched teeth.
“And what arrangements are in place to care for the children when you are working?”
“We have a nanny. She has been with us since the children were little.”
“So the nanny could be caring for the children upwards of say thirty hours a week outside of the time the children are in school, during the time they are in your custody?”
Severus looked to his lawyer. He didn’t think that was something he should be admitting to.
“We would need to take a look at that,” the lawyer said. “We don’t have those figures.”
“Ok. But that doesn’t sound unreasonable?”
“We would need to check on that.”
“Fine.”
“David is it not true that just last month your client promised to attend his daughter’s piano recital, yet left just half way through leaving your secretary to bring the child home?”
“That’s not fair, Severus was there to hear his child play, he was simply due in court immediately after. I might add he had the time of the court hearing changed in order to accomodate the recital, my client went to great lengths to ensure he was meeting all of his obligations. He shouldn’t be unduly criticised for having other responsibilities outside the family.”
“Judge, this is just the sort of occurrence my client wishes to prevent happening with the arrangement we are requesting. Irrespective of who is at fault.”
“And the other party, Mr Snape, do you work outside the home?”
“My client would like the court to know that he now goes by his unmarried name, Black.”
“Very well, Mr Black then, do you?”
Wasn’t it funny, Severus thought, how two little words could break your heart all over again.
“Yes I do. My work allows me to be flexible and work within school hours and around the kid’s schedules.”
Because of my money, Severus thought. That’s why you don’t need to work. That’s why your job is a hobby. Because of me. Because of the massive fucking alimony I’m agreeing to, that I, by the way, haven’t contested. You fucking asshole.
“We would like it noted that with a 70/30 split the children will spend less time in care, and more time with a parent.”
“Yes, I think that’s clear here.”
“Judge, it’s widely agreed there are better outcomes for the children when both parents are involved equally. My client is a loving father, has no history of abuse, infidelity or wrong doing and wants to spend time with his children. He should not be punished for being a good provider for his family.”
“I get that Mr Hart and that is noted. However, what I am interested in doing is finding the best outcome for the children. Not necessarily the parents.”
“Yes judge. I think we can all agree on that.”
“Well that went fucking horribly,” he told his lawyer after. “He’s going to hang me.”
“Not necessarily.“
“Mr Hart, I spend most of my life in front of judges, as was made abundantly clear earlier — that was a fucking dogpile.”
“I want to remind you this is very very early days. I don’t want you to be discouraged by anything that happened today. I too spend my life in court Mr Snape, in divorce court, and that was quite normal in cases like yours.”
“Cases like mine. The only reason he’s there to do all those things is because he doesn’t have a proper job. He has a vanity project that I bought him. Someone had to be the one to work and that unfortunately was me. Why the fuck am I now being punished for that?”
“We will just need to convince the judge that your presence is beneficial for your children irrespective of potential challenges. I have no doubt at all that we can.”
“I don’t give a shit about the lines you feed your usual clients. Your reputation, Mr Hart, is that you are the biggest prick in divorce. I was told if you can’t get me what I want, no one could. Was I misinformed?”
“Severus, I can be as much of a prick as you want me to be. You say the word, we can go for the balls. I believe you wanted this to be civil. Your words, Mr Snape.”
Severus stood. Picked up his briefcase. Thought about his children growing up with him as a stranger.
“Consider it said,” he told him.
“Thanks for the fuck, Severus.”
“Jesus. We’re not doing this are we?”
Paul was a securities litigator at his firm. Worked himself to death like he did. Understood the demands.
“Not doing what? I thought your kids liked me. You said as much.”
He’d never cheated. They’d flirted, of course. He’d confided in him. Problems at home. Sympathetic ear, hand on arm. That sort of thing. He’d liked the attention.
“They did. It’s not about that. I told you. It’s Sirius. He’s being difficult.”
“You need to stand up to him.”
“I need to get custody of my kids.”
“And I need not to feel like a cheap lunchtime whore.”
When Sirius had asked for a divorce though, he went to him. Perhaps that was just as bad.
“Since when?”
“Fuck you.”
“Come over next week. I’ll make you dinner. Make it up to you.”
Paul smiled at him. “When?”
“Thursday. Wait — no. Thursday’s no good. Neither is Friday. Blast. We’ll figure something out.”
“Shall I get my secretary to contact yours?”
“That would work.”
“I was kidding.”
“Yes. So was I.”
“What about Saturday?”
“I’ve got the kids.”
“So leave them with the nanny.”
Severus arched an eyebrow. “I can’t — obviously I can’t do that right now. Look, right now everything’s fucked. It will get better. I’ll ring you, I’ve got to go, I’ve got that fucking partners meeting.”
Before the divorce there had been the therapy. Years and years of therapy. It hadn’t really helped.
“I stay at home with the — Severus works — he has” — quick smile — “he’s a pretty big deal.”
“God, Sirius.”
“No, I’m not — he has a big important job and he’s brilliant at it and the gallery lets me be flexible so I do most of the, I guess domestic work during the week and Severus helps out on weekends when he can.” He stopped and smiled again then took Severus’s hand. “It works for us.”
“That’s great.”
“You know if the gallery earned more maybe it would be different but it doesn’t and this is what works for us. God I sound like I’m apologising.”
Severus squeezed his hand. “It works for us.”
“If we were — if I was— if we were heterosexual and I was, well if I were a woman we wouldn’t be having this conversation would we? This wouldn’t be an issue.”
“Exactly.”
“Perhaps you could tell me what’s not working so well then exactly?”
“Sorry?”
“What made you decide to come here today?”
“I don’t think it’s a question of — we don’t have a bad marriage, we have a good marriage— I don’t — I don’t know what you’re implying.”
“Severus, she’s not implying anything but we clearly have problems—“
“Everyone has problems Sirius.”
“Ok, but—“
“We’re good. We’re fine. Mostly.”
“Mostly.”
“How’s your sex life?”
“Good.”
“Fine.”
“Fine?”
“Well when we have it it’s good yeah.”
“We have young children, we both work — okay yeah I work a lot, I own that — but it’s, it’s — that’s normal. That’s what happens.”
“Yeah, yeah I know. Yeah you’re right. It’s fine actually. It’s good.”
“Sirius, I’m sensing there’s more you want to say.”
“No, yeah, it’s just — it can be… I think I’m just…”
“—We went away last month didn’t we? Majorca. Just the two of us. We left the kids with your parents. That was good. You said—“
“Yeah. Yeah, it was, it was great actually. I’m just being — we’re actually pretty — we’re fine actually. We’re good.”
“See? We’re solid.”
Therapy hadn’t worked but it hadn’t been until after, until it was too late, that Severus had been able to admit why.
“Your Honour we have reason to doubt that Mr Black can provide a sufficiently stable home environment for the children.”
Severus’s lawyer handed over a packet of documents to the judge. “Mr Black is a convicted felon, who has spent time in prison.”
“Oh come on, David, it’s not even illegal anymore.”
“But the fact is that it was then, Joe and your client was convicted of possession and sentenced to six months in prison.”
“This was — this was before we even met. This is ridiculous. I was a kid. I did two. It was a slap on the wrist.”
“Judge this was over 25 years ago, for something that is no longer even considered a felony in this state. My client has no prior or subsequent convictions, is a well respected member of his community, a business owner, and an active member of the school PTO. Motions have already been filed for Mr Black to have it expunged from his record. Mr Hart and his client are wasting the court’s time.”
“Judge we are establishing a pattern of behaviour that still continues today.”
“Well make your point then Mr Hart. I’m inclined to side with Mr Perez here.”
“Yes judge. Mr Black is it not true that on several occasions since the birth of your children you have taken illegal amphetamines socially?”
Severus looked down at his hands and he heard Sirius splutter.
“You don’t have to answer that.”
“That’s a massive exaggeration—“
“You — we’re not answering that. It’s your client’s word against ours.”
“Very well. Mr Black did you not on at least one occasion forget to pick up your children from school because you were inebriated from the effects of alcohol and cannabis?”
“I—“
“Judge. This is ridiculous.”
“No, I think I would like to hear your client’s answer Mr Perez. Mr Black please answer the question.”
“I—“
“Would you like me to repeat the question, Mr Black?”
“No, I—“ Sirius looked at his lawyer then spread out his hands. “Yes. Fuck. Yes. But I was — I’d been up with the Katerina for two nights straight because she had a fever and then we had the Duren opening. I was exhausted— I fell asleep. And you — we thought it was — we laughed about it after. You said you were glad it wasn’t you dropping the ball for once. You actually made me feel okay about it. It happened once. How many times have I had to pick up your slack because you’d forgotten or something came up? How many times Severus? You can’t say because it’s countless. Countless times you slimy piece of sh—”
“—Your Honour—”
“Yes, counsel please control your client.”
“—At least look at me when you’re fucking me you prick.”
“—Alright—”
“— Judge I’d like to request an adjournment so I can discuss this with my client.”
“Granted.”
“Well I think we can say that went even better than expected.”
“Yes,” Severus agreed. The lump in his throat was so big now he couldn’t manage anything else.
“You were right. He completely screwed himself. We barely had to do anything. Well done. I think it’s safe to say it’s looking good for us.”
Severus stared at the wall and nodded. He took a sip from his glass and the water trembled.