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Aang knows as soon as he wakes up. His breath catches in his throat, and he wants to just reach over and shake Zuko awake.
But no. This… this would destroy Zuko. Will destroy him. Aang can’t do that. He can’t choose that.
Instead, he slips from their bed and goes to sit by the turtle duck pond. Zuko joins him before dawn, sliding down to sit behind him and wrapping his arms around Aang’s waist.
“Aang?” he murmurs against Aang’s neck. He’s so warm and solid; he’s so very real.
“Let’s play hooky,” Aang announces.
Zuko laughs into his shoulder. “What brought this on?” he yawns.
“We haven’t had a holiday for ages,” Aang replies. “We can go around the city and get some fire flakes.”
“You don’t like fire flakes,” Zuko points out.
“For you. Fire flakes for you.” Aang snuggles back against Zuko. “Maybe we could feed the turtle ducks later.”
Zuko hums an agreement, pressing a light kiss to Aang’s neck, and for a moment Aang wants to just turn around and cry into Zuko’s chest.
Sometime after dawn, Zuko wakes up properly, and tugs Aang to his feet. “Come on, take breakfast with me,” he says. They eat in their bedroom, and Aang lays out his plans for a fun filled day in detail, while Zuko watches in consternation. “You’re serious,” he says eventually. Aang nods resolutely, and Zuko smiles that secret little half smile of his.
“First, we have to sneak out of the palace,” Aang says.
They end up jumping over the back wall, much to the bemusement of several watching guards.
Aang makes an attempt at disguising both of them, but it’s pretty hard to disguise yourself when there are statues of you everywhere. Zuko must find his disguising attempts endearing, because he doesn’t say anything, even when several people start staring and pointing at them.
“It is the Avatar and Fire Lord Zuko,” a small child insists, tugging on his mother’s sleeve. He stares after them, wide eyed, until Aang drags them round a corner and straight into a cabbage stand.
“My cabbages!” the strangely familiar cabbage seller wails; Aang grins and yanks Zuko into a run. It’s like being a kid again, and Aang can almost forget.
“Well, that was fun,” Zuko comments, after he’s caught his breath. “Undignified, but fun.”
Aang has to kiss him when he says that. “I love you,” he breathes. Zuko gets that shocked expression in his face, the one he always gets whenever Aang says that, like he can’t quite believe that Aang would love him.
“I… you. Aang,” Zuko says, a faux scowl on his face.
“Let’s go see the moose dragons,” Aang grins. He squeezes Zuko’s hand, and turns to lead him to the moose dragon pens. More people stop and watch, but Aang doesn’t care. Zuko’s holding his hand and they’re happy.
By the time the sun starts to set, they’ve traversed pretty much the entire city, and Zuko is pleasantly relaxed. He’s even smiling openly, laughing at Aang’s chatter and sharing his own terrible jokes.
“Time to head home?” he asks eventually. Aang nods. He doesn’t let his face fall; today hasn’t been enough. But Aang suspects that he never would have had enough time. He can’t help becoming more subdued as they walk back, and he knows Zuko suspects that something is wrong, but all Zuko does is squeeze Aang’s hand reassuringly. The palace guards nod when they come in – through the front entrance, not over the back wall – and they have a quiet dinner in their private rooms. Neither the advisors or generals tries to bother them, and Aang even works up a proper smile once or twice over dinner.
But afterwards, he retreats to the turtle duck pond, and tosses bread to the little fuzzy creatures. They crowd around and quack happily when Zuko arrives with more bread.
“What is it, Aang?” Zuko asks. He sounds worried, and that makes Aang’s heart twist painfully. “You can tell me.”
Aang turns around and hugs Zuko, like he’s twelve again and needs a cuddle. Zuko’s arms wrap carefully around him and Aang can’t help his sob. If anything that makes Zuko worse; he holds Aang tighter, and his hands start to move soothingly on Aang’s back.
“Aang?” he murmurs.
“I don’t want to,” Aang hiccups. “I don’t want to go.” Zuko doesn’t say anything. A presses a gentle kiss to Aang’s forehead. Aang sobs again, and he’s probably ruining Zuko’s fancy Fire Lord robes, but neither of them cares.
“Start at the beginning,” Zuko says.
“I’m- I’m-” Aang sits up and rubs his eyes. He looks at Zuko, fingers tangled in Zuko’s clothes. Aang takes a deep, steadying breath. “I’m going to go to sleep tonight, Zuko. And I won’t wake up again.”
It’s like the world stops. Zuko’s breath hitches, and a great and terrible expression crosses his face. He breathes out a little; “Oh.”
Zuko bows his head slightly, shielding his face from Aang’s gaze. They sit there, not talking or moving for a very long time. Eventually, Aang gets to his feet, shakily. “It’s time,” he whispers.
A noise very like a sob comes from Zuko, before he too stands. He clutches Aang’s hand almost painfully tight as they walk back to their room. Zuko stops dead before the doors, and pulls Aang to his chest.
“I love you, Aang,” he whispers. His voice cracks. He kisses Aang gently, like Aang is something precious and breakable.
“I know,” Aang replies.
They change for bed slowly, carefully. Zuko’s eyes don’t leave Aang for even a second, and when Aang lies down on his side, Zuko moves to sit beside him. Aang doesn’t tell him to go to bed. Zuko wouldn’t be able to. Instead he tangles their fingers together; Aang smiles at him through his tears, and he’s glad that the last thing he ever sees in life will be Zuko’s face.
~
Aang’s breathing evens out into sleep. Zuko doesn’t move. He watches, still holding Aang’s hand. He feels like he can’t breathe anymore. He feels like he can’t do anything. The night passes slowly, and Zuko still sits. He listens to Aang breathe.
And then he stops.
When morning comes, Zuko stands on unsteady feet. He walks to the door and looks outside; a guard stands to attention.
“The Avatar is dead,” Zuko says, curtly.
The door shuts behind him with a soft click.