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The cool breeze signaled the arrival of winter. Baelz covered her mouth with her hands, trying to share some warmth. Should’ve worn her gloves, the rat thought. She missed her. Irys used to grab her freezing hands and put them into her pocket with hers. Her gloves were never used again, so it kind of makes sense that Baelz forgot she owned a pair.
Baelz looked around, clearing her brain from her own thoughts. She probably won’t go outside today if she knew what she would see. A huge Irys billboard. Hope filled her loneliness, then got snatched out again. Irys was no longer the girl she was familiar with, but the hottest singer on the planet. Indeed a chilly winter, though the sun was high up in the azure sky.
Irys belonged to every enjoyer. She was no longer Bae’s own territory. A bittersweet feeling gushed from the depths of her heart, as if it was while she had that painful conversation with her now ex-girlfriend. Baelz would’ve never paid attention to the date if the advertisement didn’t smash itself to her face. That night was exactly 5 years ago. She could clearly remember the smallest details of it, the same goes with every moment with the person who's living rent-free in her heart all this time.
Baelz decided to end her walk here and whooshed back indoors. Yet found her roommates making out on the couch, in the cafe they co-owned.
“In front of my salad?” Bae yelled from top of her lungs to attract the couple who was sharing a moment passionately, as there was a possibility that they would do the deed on spot for show.
“Yes, yes, sorry Bae.” Kronii broke off from the kiss forcefully. A strand of saliva linked their tongues, which resulted in Baelz casting them with a disgusted look, amongst a slight jealousy after the incident earlier.
“You’re kinda weird today.” As her best friend, Kronii could tell something was off. This chaotic rat would always make sure to laugh at Kronii whenever she could. Her face went tomato red with the thought in her head. But this wasn’t the time to be embarrassed. She needed to cheer up Baelz.
“You’re in despair cause you don’t have hope? Mayhaps?” Kronii spoke up again, in monotone, and received giggles from Mumei.
Bae definitely missed that ‘cause she was out of her mind.
“She is coming here. I mean Irys, for her tour. I saw it on the net earlier.”
Baelz snapped back into her normal self, maybe slightly more worried, after hearing the key word. It was her. That warmth Baelz wished to cuddle every night. The girl who Baelz celebrated their 5th anniversary with 5 years ago, with a breakup.
Irys was a great singer. She had that talent, alongside with the passion of getting better in the field. In Baelz’s opinion, she had the sweetest and soothing voice. It was the most powerful cast that could heal every poor soul. Though Kronii may argue that her owl was better, they could both agree that Irys overflowed with confidence, mostly built up by Baelz, by showering her with compliments. (But who can blame Bae honestly?)
During their schooldays, while they were students in the same high school, Bae would do her homework in the studio with Irys practicing her singing with some others in the afterschool club. Bae knew how much she had been thriving to be a professional singer, so she told her about an audition she saw online. Eventually, chance descended on Irys, which she definitely deserved.
However, this put Irys into frustration. Being a professional singer meant she would have to use up most of her free time. She couldn’t manage to spend time with Baelz anymore. The preparation, practices for debut, maybe going all across the place, getting every chance to perform, showing herself to the world, was stressing her out. Baelz, of course, noticed that. The dark circles around their eyes got heavier and heavier. Irys’ due to her hectic schedule, and Baelz’s were caused by worrying about the former, also her own studies. After a harsh argument with herself, the rat decided it would be better if they part for now. She couldn’t see the future, but just more heartaches and headaches if they stayed like this.
“Irys, maybe this shall be the end of us.”
No one could ever know how hard it was to actually form the frustration into a sentence. Baelz loved her, but she was tired. She couldn’t deal with this, she felt helpless. They might be Gods living on the crust, trying to act as human’s homogeneous. They were different, yet so similar to the rest. They were concepts, yet owned a heart so humane.
“Bae… I know it’s hard but we can-“
“No, Irys. Dreams are meant to be chased. They won’t fall on you..”
Unwilling yet affirming. The shorter girl made her arduous decision. Considering the current situation, they shall bid their farewell. Her eyes turned cold, aggressive even. Irys never saw this side of her own girlfriend. Ironically, this would also be her last.
“Of course Bae.”
Hope gave Chaos a reassuring smile.
Bae disappeared on the second day. Irys was desperate but that was all. Although the nephilim was suffering in misery, she kept her promise. Her sister Calli told her Baelz got into a decent university and was generally doing pretty well, which swept her insecurities away. She could finally prioritize her dreams.
Irys would mesmerize herself into working hard again with the help of Baelz’s last words before she was gone when she felt like she wouldn’t make it. It acted like a cardiac stimulant for her.
5 years later, there was an enormous advert of Irys on the landmark of this busiest city. Baelz should’ve been happy for her, but she genuinely missed her.
Irys was roaming on the streets, as she arrived at the place earlier than she expected and should. This comfy cafe at the corner caught her attention. To be more precise, she recognized a familiar hair color in the ground floor unit. The nephilim entered the store hastily.
“She’s behind.”
Kronii was the first one to notice the intruder. She recognized Hope who only had her eyes exposed due to the latter’s pupils, which had a distinct color on one another.
Baelz was shocked and went through an error 404 moment. She then slowly turned her head around to confirm the received information.
“Bae, I miss you.”
Irys wrapped the little rat into her arms, with tears barely hanging to her eyes.
“Irys…”
“Ok, you two. We’ll just go back to our room and close the shop for you.”
Kronii broke through the awkward atmosphere and announced her and Mumei’s shunning. The warden dragged the buffering owl away, as she muttered “Baerys” on her way quietly, mocking how Baelz used to despise them with the same action. But Baerys were too intoxicated to each other and heard nothing.
“Bae I really miss you… Can we date again?”
Irys’ voice was shaking. She was an individual that had overflowing confidence. The thing was that it was given by Chaos. She became insecure just by having the thought of losing her again.
“But you are the star, everyone’s idol. How can I own you?”
“Bae. It’s my job to spread joy to them. But you are the only one that showers me with joy to spread. You are my Muse. Without you, Irys will never be on the stage. Nothing can separate Hope and Chaos. Though they are juxtapositions, you shall remember, Bae. Opposite poles attract.”
“Of course. My nepilim.”
Bae held Irys’ hand, and intertwined their fingers. The rat leaned in and offered her lips, knowing she won’t have to get jealous of kronmei ever again.