Chapter Text
It was a little unsettling how normal and joyful the town of Hawkins could seem to less keen, more ignorant eyes. What lurked beneath the cheer and chirp of a sunny day was entirely unknown to most of the residents of this fairly overlooked part of the country.
Max herself had been one with the crowd who viewed Hawkins as a boring, in-the-middle-of-nowhere dump of a place. She’d been proven wrong very quickly though. After almost eighteen months, several run-ins with otherworldly monsters, countless spectacles of gore – she was pretty much disillusioned with the way Hawkins looked to the common person.
She knew how messed up it was. How dangerous and deadly and terrifying. She could admit that she hadn’t grasped the severity of an extra dimension full of demonic creatures until a few months ago when her step-brother started behaving like one.
The upside down had been a bit of teenage adventure to her. Even though she’d seen how lethal these adventures could be – Joyce’s boyfriend dying had shocked her, had caused a chill to settle in her bones – the degree of the danger hadn’t registered entirely.
But once El had closed the gate – well, she’d naively thought that that was it, that was where the horrors of Hawkins ended. But then Billy had been possessed, made to do all sorts of horrible deeds (and she’d thought his normal self was horrible enough). She’d seen him sacrifice himself, seen his blood soaked remains and retched right there.
She could admit she didn’t have all that much love for Billy. Hell, she’d wanted him dead several times. In her head, he’d been this infallible villian even before the Mind Flayer got its hands on him. But then, she’d seen him at his lowest, his most vulnerable, his most raw self – the part of him that had been hurt too.
She still hated him. Even in death. But she had pity for him. A bit of empathy. Because she understood that Billy... he’d been abused too.
She thought that if... if only Billy was alive, someone, something could change him for the better. Make him a better person. Maybe he’d apologise to her properly and make amends and live a life that wasn’t haunted by Neil’s handprints.
She preferred not to think of him though. Because it revealed a lot of things about herself she wasn’t ready to deal with. Too many conflicting thoughts and emotions battling each other to dominate her mind.
It was so much better to be numb, then. To get that little escape when all around her chaos took shape. When Neil yelled and yelled at her mother, when he pushed Max against a wall and demanded an explanation for Billy’s death. When frustration bubbled and boiled under their home’s roof and her mother spent most nights on the living room’s sofa, crying.
**
It had almost been a month since the Byers and Eleven had left Hawkins but their absence was still glaringly present.
Max awoke just before six a.m, the same fleeting image of a flesh-stitched monster hunting after her, scaring her away from slumber. As had become routine, she took a cold shower, even if the morning chill pricked her like needles once she was out.
Idly plaiting her hair, she took a look outside her bedroom. Dim light gave her a glimpse of her mother’s slumped figure by the sofa – she looked frail and tired and alone. It was exactly how Max felt at times.
Neil wasn’t home. If they were lucky, he wouldn’t be back for another week. Max could use the momentary peace to get her bearings in order – she had five assignments due in a month and she didn’t even know where to start with them.
She sighed and put on her jacket and headphones, the music immediately flooding her body with steadiness and grounding. She made her way towards the main door, avoiding the floorboards that usually creaked. With one last look at her fitfully asleep mother, she stepped outside.
The skate ride to school was uneventful and soon she was at the campus. Keeping her eyes on the ground, she fast-walked to her classroom. She was a bit early today but some of her peers were still seated inside. One of them was Mike Wheeler. They shared a look before she took her assigned seat in the row next to his.
That was how things usually went between them. They’d seen too much together to not share some kind of bond. But that bond hadn’t really taken them anywhere in terms of friendship. Max was certain Mike resented her a bit – what with her judging El and his relationship last summer. She hadn’t meant to – she’d just ended up projecting what she’d seen of men in her life onto Mike without realising how deep their relationship ran, how it had begun and how it had grown.
Shaking off such thoughts, she looked out the window, enjoying the empty grounds and treeline that was her regular view.
A hand on her shoulder startled her, so much so that she jerked away, turning to glare at whoever had tried to scare her. Mike’s slightly worried face came into view, calming her some. She untensed, bored stare still in place as he took back his arm, motioning with it towards his ears and then back to pointing at her headphones.
Max sighed and slid them off, “What do you want Wheeler?”
Mike’s jittery foot-taps started just as he replied, “Did you eat breakfast?”
“What?” Max blinked, then glared. “How is that any of your business?”
For a moment, she was sure Mike would glare in return, say something fiery or insulting or mocking then they’d both go back to how things were – ignoring each other until interaction was absolutely necessary.
But that didn’t happen.
He shrugged, leg going still as he pulled out a tin-foiled wrapped block from under his desk. He put it on her desk casually, “Mom packed me breakfast to eat at the D&D’s early run. But I... uh, I’m allergic to peanut butter. She forgot that. But I don’t wanna waste it so have it. If, only, like, you want to.”
Max gave him a long scrutiny filled look which Mike tried his best to avoid, pulling out a textbook to furiously read. After failing to get a read on him, Max gingerly opened up the packing and took a bite. It tasted like pure bliss. God, she loved peanut butter.
By the time Lucas and Dustin arrived, she’d eaten both the sandwiches that had put her in a better mood. But that still didn’t encourage her to share words with her friends. She focused on the grains of her desk till their homeroom teacher arrived, entirely missing the looks exchanged between Mike, Dustin and Lucas.
She did realise two things though.
1. She’d been skipping breakfast for weeks until that day.
2. Mike Wheeler had blantantly lied to her.
**
Lunchtime was tricky. Max did a good job of disappearing in plain view for most of the day – making herself invisible to anyone who wasn’t actively trying to reach out to her. She also did a great job shutting Lucas down whenever he tried to talk to her. It had reached a point that he’d stopped trying. It was expected but it still made her itch all over to think about it. She still felt guilty about breaking up with him two days after the Byers left town but she knew she had to do it.
But all her attempts to be unnoticed didn’t save her when she had to expose herself willingly in front of her newly appointed therapist. She was a decent lady but Max, on principle of what she meant for her, was supremely annoyed by Ms. Kelly and her probing, invasive questions.
No, she didn’t want to discuss her feelings on Billy’s death or her dad’s temper or her mom’s alcoholism. She’d much rather sit in a nook all break and gnaw at the chips she’d brought with her for lunch.
Somehow, she made it through the session with minimal talking and an excess of nodding (and also a healthy dose of rolling her eyes).
When she exited the room, she didn’t expect Wheeler to be waiting outside. She raised a brow at him, as if questioning ‘So you need to be handheld to deal with your emotions, too?’
Shifting on his feet, Mike crossed his arms. “I was waiting for you,” he said, “Can we talk?”
Max’s already raised walls became further barricaded. She didn’t have a clue about why Mike was so chatty today. Sure, he was generally a friendly guy and spoke a lot when with Dustin and Lucas and El – but Mike had never really warmed upto her as much to randomly have prolonged chats with.
However, something deep inside her was curious. She wanted to know what was bothering Mike – and if he tried to get her to open up or some such bullshit, she could kick him in the shin and walk away.
“Fine,” she said in a clipped tone, walking towards a neighbouring classroom that was empty for the moment. She waited for him to join her before closing the door. “Talk.”
The same worried look from that morning resurfaced on his face, making Max a bit uncomfortable. She’d never been too good at accepting that there were peope who were capable of looking out for her. And when such sentiments came from Mike of all people – it was all the more absurd.
“Look, Max,” Mike sighed, sitting on a bench just behind him. “I know something has been up with you and I wasn’t going to intervene and poke my nose when I very well know you’d hate it. But, see, Lucas is concerned about you. Way more than concerned. He’s matching Joyce’s levels of hysteric worry –” he paused, smiling crookedly in that dorky way of his.
“He really fucking cares about you and won’t shut up about it. Dustin’s mad worried too. But you don’t wanna talk to either of them. You’ve made it very clear. And they... they respect that. They hate it, but they repsect it. And I hate seeing them so tense and seeing you so tense. I haven’t really tried before – to reach out because... well, I thought, still think, that you don’t want me to. But like, I’ve gotta try right? I, uh, what I mean is that I’m here to listen and help if you want or need it, even if it may seem like I don’t care. I do. It’s just. Yeah. Whatever. Er.”
Max was genuinely speechless. Mike was looking straight at her, eyes nothing but sincere as his monologue came to an end. He waited patiently for her to come up with a response, all the while she couldn’t wrap her head around the fact that this was Mike Wheeler who’d openly admitted that he cared for her and was here for her.
She didn’t understand why that declaration was affecting her this much.
After having collected herself, she pursed her lips, “Okay. Good to know. Whatever.”
“Max... ” Mike frowned. “You’re doing this on purpose. Pushing everyone away. Don’t do that. We don’t want you to.”
“I don’t really care about what you want, Wheeler,” Max responded, glaring with all the forced anger she could muster.
“We aren’t friends.”
Mike’s face crumbled before it smoothed out again. Max couldn’t bring herself to regret her words though – she had to be biting. She didn’t want whatever it was that Mike was proposing to go any further.
“Are we not?” he asked, tone challenging her to refute. “I am your friend, Max. You can choose not to be my friend, that’s fine. But that won’t stop me from caring.”
Max gritted her teeth. She didn’t like this, not one bit. “Friends? Friends don’t lie, asshole. You lied to me this morning.”
Despite herself, she felt amused at Mike’s panicked reaction.
“I didn’t lie,” he said.
“Oh really? If you had D&D in the morning, why did Dustin come to school long after you did, huh?”
“Fine,” Mike sighed, his eyes reflecting determination more than guilt, “I lied. It was a white lie. You needed to eat breakfast and you wouldn’t have just accepted it had I said, ‘Hey, Max, I know you skipped breakfast and are probably hungry without knowing it so here, have a sandwich because I want you to’.”
Max took a moment to digest that piece of information. So Mike had prepared those sandwiches especially to give them to her? What the fuck.
“How did you know I skipped breakfast?” she gripped the straps of bag tightly, “Were you fucking stalking me?”
“No,” Mike responded firmly though he didn’t get offended. That was new. “I’d done the same thing for months after El disappeared so I know. You get fatigued whenever we have P.E. before break and your stomach’s pretty loud. It doesn’t take a genius to work out what’s wrong.”
Max chewed the inside of her cheek. She was out of her depth. When she’d first come to Hawkins, she’d wanted Mike to like her, to accept her into the party but his moodiness and snappy remarks had sowed a dislike of him in her. She’d always viewed him through that muddied perception thereafter. But now, having this conversation with him – every word revealed a new layer to him, a new side of him she never had the chance to see.
Against all odds, it really seemed as if he cared for her and against all odds, it made her feel a bit better about herself.
But.
“Well,” she took a bracing breath, forcing out the words as scathingly as she could manage. “Thanks for the meddling and the concern but next time, don’t give me something I didn’t ask for and don’t show me this... this pity that I have zero need for.”
Without waiting for a response, Max turned around and went out the room, shutting the door loudly behind her.
Then, she took a breath and ran.