Chapter Text
“He isn’t going to like this,” Merlin said, with a hint of concern in his voice.
“No,” Harry agreed. “But he will do it anyway.” He heaved a sigh and rubbed his eyes behind the Kingsman-issued glasses. “So, I suppose I am the one who will have to tell him?” he asked, even though he knew the answer. The boy wasn’t a Kingsman yet, just one of the reasons Harry did not fully agree with this idea, even if he agreed it was their only shot. It also meant that he, as the boys mentor, was responsible if something should happen, about the odds of which he desperately tried not to think.
Merlin hummed in agreement, and shot him one last apologetic look. Then he turned his attention back on the maps in front of him, pretending to study them. Or maybe he really was. Even after having known the man for almost twenty-six years, it was still impossible for Harry to read his friend if he did not want him to. Harry left the office with a heavy feeling in his chest. Merlin was right, Eggsy would not like it. But neither did Harry.
****
“A mission?” Eggsy sounded happy, although also a bit puzzled. “But I’m not a Kingsman, I ain’t even done with training yet.” His eyes narrowed. “Wait, does this mean I AM the next Lancelot?” he did not sound thrilled at the idea, undoubtedly feeling betrayed on his fellow recruits behalf. Always a fair player this one was. Harry held back another sigh. “It does not mean you are the next Lancelot. However, it is a very good opportunity for you to show us what you got.” Also a good opportunity to end up on the bottom of the Thames with a block of concrete around your ankles. He pushed away the thought. “You know some of the more… traditional agents had their doubts about me choosing you.” It wasn’t fair to say this, and he bloody knew it. All reservations Eggsy would have had, from doubting the fairness of this offer to having doubts about his capabilities, went straight out the window. Just like Harry knew they would. It did not feel right to play the boy like this, to manipulate him into something he might not be ready for, but he had talked to Merlin about this at length, hell, had argued with him for days about the dangers, the importance, the other possibilities they had. Only to end up with the conclusions that, yes, it was dangerous, and yes, it was important, and no, there was no other choice. Eggsy’s jaw set in the manner that Harry had seen Lee’s jaw set countless times, always when faced with the same kind of prejudices and doubts that his son was faced with now. “I’ll do it,” Eggsy said stubbornly. “So, what’s the mission?”
****
“You got to be fucking shitting me!”
Harry tried not to cringe at the language, after all the boy had every reason to be angry. This was a bad idea, it had been from the start, and maybe it had been unfair of Harry and Merlin to lure the young man in with the promise of a mission –of adventure- and only spill the more… peculiar details after the boy had already given his consent. Speaking of which… “You can change your mind,” Harry said hastily. “Obviously, since you are not a Kingsman yet, you are under no obligation to go on any mission, and refusing to do so will not reflect badly on you. This will not be taken into consideration when determining the position of Lancelot. We can both pretend this conversation never took place. In fact, I urge you to do so, since talking about this could jeopardize the mission to come, as soon as we find another way to-“ Eggsy lifted a hand to stop his rambling, and Harry trailed off, secretly grateful for the interruption.
“I ain’t saying I ain’t doin’ it,” Eggsy grumbled. “I’m just sayin’ you could’ve maybe mentioned that detail somewhere within the first fifteen minutes of the mission briefing instead of,” he glanced down at his watch “forty minutes in.”
“I’m sorry,” Harry said sincerely. He really was. He was sorry for even bringing this up, he was sorry for bringing the boy in this position, he was s-
“I’ll still do it,”.
The words came out confidently, but the younger man was not meeting his eyes, and Harry could tell there was more to follow, so he kept quiet, only nodding exaggeratedly, so Eggsy would see it from his peripheral vision. Eggsy ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up, and scratched absentmindedly at his knee. “I’ll do it,” he repeated slowly, seemingly gathering his thoughts as he spoke, “but I do want to set a few demands.” He glanced sharply up at Harry, and he knew that not meeting those demands would mean the end of the mission before it even started, so he just nodded weakly and hoped the demands were reasonable. No I-want-a-brand-new-Aston-Martin or But-I-won’t-wear-my-glasses kind of things. Eggsy was still looking at him, his eyes moving slightly from left to right as if reading an imaginary newspaper, which –Harry knew- meant he was concentrating on making what he was about to say sound polite. Harry appreciated the effort, the boy’s creative use of the English language was not something he was overly fond of, but he also knew it would be much harder to object to well-worded demands than to what would essentially be a string of swearwords with some vague suggestions thrown in. He waited patiently, not wanting to rush his recruit.
“First of all,” Eggsy started, “I want to know why I was chosen for this. Why not Charlie, or one of them other Oxbridge guys. Secondly, if I die, I want me mum and sis to get a full Kingsman salary for at least five years. Thirdly, I ain’t gonna wear the glasses-“ apparently Harry had opened his mouth to object, because Eggsy shushed him with a look and continued talking without missing a beat “because these guys aren’t idiots, and because if I’m gonna have some guy take me up the ass, I’d rather not Merlin or you is watchin’ it.” He crossed his arms over his chest and looked defiantly at his mentor. Unfortunately, Harry had to admit to himself that the demands were fairly reasonable. He had known Eggsy would want some kind of security for his family, after all, he was the only thing they had. Why him, was also pretty obvious question. Only the glasses-thing, he did not agree with. But they would have to talk about that later.
“Don’t worry about the money, if something were to happen to you,” he could not –the way Eggsy had done- get himself to bluntly say ‘if you were to die’, “your mother and sister will be well taken care of. You were chosen out of the male recruits for various reasons. The first reason is a matter of profile. The crowd these man run with, would be very suspicious to suddenly see an obviously very educated and posh man walk into their business. Your upbringing is, as it were, your cover for this mission. Furthermore, you are street smart, which is always a good thing, and you have the improvisation skills that are needed with undercover work. You know what kind of trouble a wrong word or a wrong look can get you into, which means the odds of you making a mistake are considerably smaller than would be the case with the other boys.” Eggsy nodded at that absentmindedly, his thoughts immediately running to Dean, and how he had always had to be careful around the man, as to not have him focus his knack for violence on Eggsy.
Harry continued, and seemed a bit embarrassed at what he was about to say, if the faint blush on his cheeks was any indication. “Last of all, the reason we chose you is because Ronnie Kray seems to have a type. And you look the part.” Eggsy did not know whether or not he should be flattered knowing that a sociopathic, ridiculously powerful known gangster, would consider him to be hot.
“Now, the glasses-thing is not an easily resolved matter. I suggest you talk to Merlin about it.”
Eggsy pursed his lips at that and nodded sharply. “Will do, guv,” he said, turned on his heels, and stalked out of Harry’s office.
****
Harry leaned back on his comfortable chair and rubbed his forehead. That went reasonably well, although it had done nothing to calm his own nerves about this whole operation. He frowned at the thought of the unavoidable scolding Merlin was going to give him for letting Merlin deal with Eggsy’s aversion for wearing the glasses. If he was being honest with himself, the reason he had sent Eggsy to Merlin to sort this out, was because Merlin was less likely to give in than Harry was. And this was a matter of safety, so he could not afford being a pushover on this. “Sorry Merlin,” he said softly. Then he pulled the stacks of paper on his desk closer; he had a lot of paperwork to catch up on.
****
“Hello Eggsy, come in,” Merlin said sarcastically as Eggsy sat down across from him. The boy ignored the aside, not in the mood to deal with irrelevant bullshit like knocking or asking to be seated.
“Harry said I should talk to you,” he mumbled, avoiding the man’s gaze.
So the mission was on then. Partly relieved, and partly worried –though he tried to push that feeling aside- Merlin extended his hand. Eggsy looked at it confused, but took it anyway.
“Welcome aboard your first real mission, Erec” Merlin said with a smile, sounding like a proud father who just made his son partner in his law firm. That got a grin out of Eggsy.
“I get a codename?” he asked, sounding every bit as excited as he should.
“Yes,” Merlin confirmed. “Now, I’m sure Galahad has briefed you on this mission, but being the one who is actually going to be overseeing everything, I find it wise to do so as well. Just in case Galahad left something out.”
Eggsy’s enthusiasm seemed to wane at that, but he nodded anyway.
“Our primary targets,” Merlin said, flipping over a whiteboard to reveal various black-and-white pictures of two almost identical looking men. “The Kray twins. Ronald,” he pointed at the two pictures on the left, a side view and portrait picture of a man in his mid-thirties, with a nice suit and a pair of glasses with a thick rim on the top, “and Reginald,” he moved his hand towards the pictures of the other man, the same expensive looking suit, the same facial features, though without glasses and with slightly more tousled hair. And, Eggsy observed, wearing a black tie instead of the white one his brother wore in his pictures. Although Harry had told him the twins were thirty-five years old, he hadn’t had any pictures to show him, and Eggsy noted with relief that they were not too bad looking. Sure, the one with the glasses looked every bit the sociopathic killer Harry had described him to be, but he had a strong jawline, thick, dark hair, and the glasses actually gave him a sophisticated look, even more so than the suit. “Collectively, they are known to ‘own London’, in their own humble words. Unfortunately, they are quite right about it as well: they control the narcotics market, many businesses own them ‘protection money’, and they are not men you would want to cross. Sadly this also means they have half the police force on their payroll. And that is where we come in. As you know, Kingsman normally does not interfere in narcotics. However, we have word that they are looking to expand their empire to not only entail drugs, but also firearms. And if there is one thing I can do without, it is more guns in London. So, due to this new development, and the incompetence of the police force, we have decided to put a stop to their transportation lines. The only problem is, we have no idea where they are.” Merlin looked oddly disappointed at that, as if he had expected better of himself. “No policeman in whole of London would like to have to stake out the respective houses of the Krays, which is why it simply does not happen. The same is true for the bar they own, The Regal, a former snooker hall. Our plan is to find out where the weapons come from, where they are being held while in London, and who buys them. Once we know who the buyers are, so where the weapons are going, the police can deal with retrieving them. You, in the meantime, need to collect evidence of the illegal doings of the Twins. We are not only after stopping them now, we are after stopping them forever. A foolproof court case is our only shot at this. Do you understand, Eggsy? They need to go away for life. If they don’t…” he hesitated. “Well, if they don’t, it would complicate things greatly.”
Eggsy did not like the sound of that, although it made sense to him. People like this did not just forget. Were they to get out of prison within ten, twenty or even thirty years, they would surely come after him, no matter how different he looked then.
“What about the others? The people who work for the Krays?”
Merlin glanced over at the board, where a few smaller pictures of various men and one woman were pinned next to the mugshots of the Krays. “We are working with the assumption that their loyalty is bought. They will probably turn on their former bosses the minute those bosses are in custody. Also, some only work for them out of fear. Surely they will be willing to testify if we promise them protection.” He paused. “Except her.” He pointed at the only women on the board. She looked young, not older than Eggsy, and had an innocent sweetness about her that only came with youth. “Frances Shea. Reginald’s wife. We have no reason to believe she has anything to do with her husband’s business.” He paused again.
“What does she see in him?” Eggsy wondered out loud.
Merlin turned to look at him. “We do not chose who we love,” he said earnestly, before turning back to the board.
The words kept echoing in Eggsy’s mind. He wished they didn’t hit home the way they did.
“Did Harry tell you your alias?” Merlin asked, accidentally changing the subject.
“We were just getting to that when he casually let it slip this would be a honeypot mission, so no, that is kind of where the conversation halted”, Eggsy grumbled.
Merlin looked at him amusedly. “Very well, then I have the honor to tell you your persona. You will be going undercover as Edward Smith, son of a working family, who ended up on the wrong path, has exceptional skills at killing, and is-“
“A poof,” Eggsy mumbled, interrupting the older man.
“A homosexual, yes,” Merlin said wearily. “We have found out, from the little information we have, that Ronnie Kray-“
Eggsy interrupted him again. “Is a big ol’ poof, and likes them younger boys, I know. Harry said as much. And apparently I’m exactly his type.” He still was not sure what to think about that.
“A honeypot mission indeed,” Merlin continued. If he was annoyed at the constant interruption, he did not show it. But then again, he rarely was anything other than slightly annoyed or slightly amused. “It would not at all be unbelievable for you to end up in the bar I mentioned earlier, the one owned by the Krays. Now, once you are there, and Ronnie Kray is there as well –please memorize both their faces on a molecular level so you know who is who, he might not always wear his glasses – you need to get his attention somehow. From analyzing his former lovers, it appears that his type is not only young, handsome, and a criminal, but also somewhat disturbed.”
“Batshit crazy, like him,” Eggsy said under his breath.
“Exactly. So the best way to get his attention, is probably ending up in some sort of fight…. And hopefully winning,” he added, almost as an afterthought. “But with your Kingsman training that should not be a problem.”
Eggsy huffed. Easy peasy. Just stage a fight with some random person you know nothing about, and hope you do not end up with a knife in your jugular. There was absolutely no way this plan could fail. Absolutely no way. Nope. Foolproof plan. Not to mention that Merlin and Harry both just seemed to assume that this Ronnie guy would immediately fall arse over tits in love with this “Edward Smith”, and would tell him everything about his illegal weapon deals.
“Is there a problem, Eggsy?” Merlin asked casually. It annoyed Eggsy that he had so obviously worn his concerns on his face, but then again, this was the perfect opportunity to voice them.
“What if I’m not his type? What if he does not fall in love with me? And why would he just share all his secrets with me? And also, tiny fucking detail, homosexuality is fucking illegal in this country, so do you really think he is gonna walk up to me, say “Hello there love, I like the way you just cunt-punted that tosser over there, let’s go back to my place and fuck each other’s brains out while I tell you where I stash my guns - not a metaphor.”?”
Merlin chuckled. The bastard actually chuckled. Eggsy looked at him with a mixture of annoyance and disbelief. Coming from Merlin, this was an almost unnatural sound.
“Well Eggsy, to address your concerns one by one, he does not need to fall in love with you. Sure, it would probably make things easier, but our main concern is getting you into his house at least once so you can hopefully snoop around a bit, even if it is just to confirm that the weapons are most likely not at his place. Him bedding you would be enough for that purpose – don’t pull that face, every agent has to sometimes take one for the team so to speak,” he chuckled again, probably at his own innuendo, “but even if he just takes you on as a part of his posse would be a really good start. So whether he takes you home as a lover or a bodyguard, just make sure you get there. As to the type thing, I think you might be underestimating yourself. Come on, not that look again, I have seen the way certain girls look at you. As to your last issue, the illegality of his preference, you are right. However, since this concerns the Krays, no police officer in his right mind would have him arrested for buggery,”
“Ew, Merlin. Gross.”
“and no patron in the bar would be stupid enough to comment on anything alluding to his homosexuality. Just make sure you do not either.”
“Well, that’s fucking great innit? I gotta hit on ‘im, without making him think I think he is a poof. How the hell am I s’posed to to tha’? How, Merlin? I’d really fuckin’ like to know.”
Merlin just shrugged. “You are a smart lad. You’ll figure it out. Now, obviously there will be an extraction team at the ready at all times, so if your glasses-feed shows anything indicating that you need help, you will be out of there within minutes. Guns blazing if need be.”
Eggsy looked at him sheepishly. “That is actually what I came here to talk to you about. I’m not going to wear my glasses.”
For a moment, it looked as if Merlin wasn’t sure whether he was joking or not. Then he very slowly raised an eyebrow. “Why the fuck not?”
Eggsy was used to Merlin swearing – not quite Eggsy-levels of foul language, but it was not unusual either- but the way his accent got thicker indicated that the Scotsman was really fucking annoyed at him.
“Because,” Eggsy said stubbornly, looking Merlin in the eyes, “I think this whole thing is invasive enough as it is, alright? I don’t need you all to look over my shoulder while I’m being fucked by some bloke. Also, I can’t imagine no one will notice that the glasses are not prescription, since I can’t very well wear them while reading AND while looking at shit a mile away.”
Merlin pressed his lips together at that, then he tried to reason with the young not-quite-yet-an-agent. “You can put you glasses on the nightstand. Face down. Just make sure that if something goes awry, you move the glasses, so we can actually fucking see what’s going on. And you can take them off while reading. Slide them onto your hair, of hang them in the collar of your shirt, I don’t give a fuck. As long as we have eyes on you.”
“No.”
Merlin looked gobsmacked. “What?” he said, moving one hand to his ear. “I don’t think I understood that quite right.”
“No.” Eggsy repeated. “I will not wear my glasses there. What if you are sending me something, and someone decides to take away my glasses as a joke and puts them on? You and I both know it takes a few seconds for the transmission to stop, and those few seconds could be enough to get me KILLED. You understand that, Merlin? I will not have my life depend on a coincidence like that. Also, if they decide to off me, I doubt they will draw it out long enough for the extraction team to have a chance to come swoopin’ in.”
Merlin seemed to mull this over in his head, his brow furrowed, his hands clenched. Eventually he sighed loudly. “You lot are going to be the end of me,” he murmured. “I will –PARTLY, mind you- agree to those terms. You WILL wear you glasses, but there will be no contact from our side. You will be able to contact us, anywhere, anytime. So when you find something interesting, you can let us know. When all goes to shit, you can let us know. And none of them will be any the wiser, no matter what happens to your glasses.”
Eggsy nodded. “I can live with that.”
Merlin walked away from the board and plopped down in his seat. “And now get the hell out of my office, I will have to find a way to make all of this actually possible.”
Eggsy grinned at him and mockingly saluted him.
Merlin rolled his eyes but did not say anything, not even when Eggsy walked out with an exaggerated swagger to his step and kicked the door shut with his heel.